I Love Impidimp! Hes Just So Cute!!!!

I love Impidimp!  He’s just so cute!!!!

“Dandelion chokes on a dandelion”

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It was a fine, breezy summer afternoon, and Dandelion and their buddy Greyscale decided to go for a walk in their local park.  During their walk, Dandelion discovers a hilly area covered in fluffy white dandelions, ready to be wished upon.  While Dandelion is choosing which Dandelion to make a wish with, Greyscale hatches an idea for a little prank.  Right as Dandelion is about to blow the seeds of their selected dandelion, Greyscale jerks Dandelion's hands up, forcing the fluff ball into the mutant chicken's mouth.  Dandelion spends the next five minutes spitting and gagging on the little fuzzy seeds the mischievous dragon forced into their mouth.  From that day on Dandelion always was very cautious about wishing with dandelions when there was somebody around.

Asidrit the bubble dragon

In the darkest of underwater caves and the deepest of ocean valleys is where Asidrit feels most safe.  There, he can be isolated from the rest of the world.  There, he can forget that his grandfather is monster, that his father is insane, and that he himself is a freak; or at least that's what all the dragons in the lair have said.  That's all they've ever told him; so it must all be true, right?  

Hahahahhaa I’m pansexual I fucc frying pans

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Arwen is thrown in the midst of a pile of cats.  But they aren't just any cats, they're part of the cast for the Warrior Cats book series.  While Arwen is already overwhelmed by the frenzy of felines, little does she know that this crowd is only a small percentage of the Warrior Cats cast... I honestly never understood the appeal of Warrior Cats.  I first saw these books when I was like 9-ish (which is about the target demographic), and despite absolutely loving cats back then (and I still do now), I thought the books looked trashy.  Little did 9 yo me at the time realize that on the internet there would be hundreds of people (adults and children alike) who would obsess over these books. To this day, I know next to nothing about Warrior Cats except that there are an ungodly number of Warrior Cats books with an ungodly amount of cats in the cast for each of them.  There's probably a book for every single cat at this point.  I personally have no interest in reading these books, but hey, you like what you like I guess.

“Boy is denied waffles”

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Every morning, before he goes to work his 9 to 5 job, Pearington Boyardee loves to stop by his local breakfast bar to eat a breakfast of what he claims to be, "the best waffles in the entire world."  Pearboy's house is also a brothel home to his gardevoir friends Eva, Sierra, and Cydia.  Sierra and Cydia are desperate for Pearboy's praise and attention and thirsty for his COCK.  Eva couldn't care less and would rather fuck literally anybody else.   One day, both Sierra and Cydia both separately get the idea to apply for and work at the breakfast bar Pearboy goes to every day in order to be the one to serve their senpai his waffles. Both apply and are hired, and thus the next morning, they individually go to work, hoping to impress the lovechild of Pajama Sam and Osmosis Jones i hate myself for writing that. However, things do not go as planned for the two horny-on-main pokemon, as when they walk in the kitchen, they see that both of them had the EXACT SAME IDEA.  An all out brawl ensues between the two girls, dueling each other with pancake flippers.  When Pearboy arrives, he is shocked to see his two gardevoir friends beating the shit out of each other while they are working at his favorite breakfast bar.  However, he tries to play this off, and kindly asks for his usual order of waffles.  In their blind rage, the two gardes ignore his request in favor of beating each other black and blue.  Fifteen minutes later, the fight is broken up by the rest of the restaurant staff, and Pearboy has left so he wouldn't be late for his work.  He would never get those waffles.