Love To Imagine Jason Trying To Thrive As A Legit Crime Lord Only To Flop Because His Family Keeps Ruining

Love to imagine Jason trying to thrive as a legit crime lord only to flop because his family keeps ruining his street cred.

Case in point,

Jason: Now that you've heard my evil plan, what's your rebuttal, Batman?

Bruce: (Starts clapping)

Jason: NO, don't--

Bruce: You're so smart, honey (tries to take a picture)

Jason: stOp-

-

Jason: Here to stop me, Robin?

Tim: No, I need a book report

Jason: Wha- do it yourself, you fucking accident!

Tim: I don't know why the fucking door is red!

Jason: WHAT- It symbolizes the passion of violence you dumb BITCH--

-

Dick: I'll give you 10$ if you don't commit crimes tonight

Jason: 10$? What can I do in Gotham with 10 dollars?

Dick: Uh, buy an apartment?

Jason: An apartment is 13$!

-

Jason: I'm gonna take it easy on you, Spoiler--

Steph: Is that my perfume?

Jason: Wha-- no.

Steph: Cass, does Red Hood usually smell like lavender and cotton candy?

Cass: Nope

Jason: OKAY, sue me, I don't wanna smell like 'warrior musk' and 'tears of a war widow'

Jon: Are you mad?

Damian: No.

Jon: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

One of those "Danny needs a consort" fics where a bunch of people are invited to a mass speed dating event. The invitation uses prettier words but thats what this is. Now Batman wants to go get a look a this super powerful being and see if he's a threat or ally, and would you look at that, most of his children fall into the age bracket the invitation specifies 

(or maybe the batkids have just been touched by death enough they're viable candidates and got personalized invitations. Either way Bruce wants to go)

So Batman says a few of his kids will go and he's tagging along as a "chaperone". Maybe a few other JL members do the same with their proteges. The hard part for Bruce is actually getting his kids to agree to go. The biggest surprise is Jason finds out and demands to go.

Now Jason, a known lover of regency period romances, read a copy of the invitation the JL got and knew exactly what this was. There will be a ball. The word "courting" was used. This is a chance to live out his secret romance novel dreams and nothing is getting in the way of that. So he calls the batfam to say he's going

The batfam are like flabbergasted that Jason wants to go to a spooky speed dating event but it has the added bonus of getting the kids to start volunteering bc they have to know why Jason is so excited about this

Wing Danny AU + DCAU

It happened after the Portal had shocked him that Danny started to grow wings on his back. His family, like the rest of Amity Park, was not sure what to say and just accepted that Danny had awakened his metagene.

His family seemed to be happy; Jazz started to read books about birds and, with Ms. Teslaff's help, tried to teach him how to fly. Only a few in the city thought he had died and become an angel, with his halo of white hair and white wings, but that was only a small group.

Danny's life was going pretty well, he would say. The town accepted him even with his change, and his parents did not think he was a ghost.

Everything was going pretty well, but then the Gordanians came, mistaking him for a Thanagarian child and attacking him, wanting to kidnap him for ransom or something similar. Thanagarians are pretty protective of their hatchlings, unlike the strong Gordanians who allow their young to join them in war.

Danny let himself be kidnapped as he could see space! His parents did not know about it, but his friends did. He returned after one week to Amity Park.

They never learned about all the chaos and destruction Danny had caused the Gordanian race and army, and how the Thanagarians and their allies finally defeated them.

Danny is now a hero for the galaxy against the Gordanian Wars, and they want him back with them.

Random convo I bet happen between civilians and vigilantes

Civilian: What hair product do you use man?? My man's hair is shiiiiining

Nightwing, chuckling: I just let it dry (lying)

Civilian: Naaaah, man I see you jumping from rooftop to rooftop everyday, tell me your secrets–

---

Gothamite: And who's gonna pay for this scratch on my car?!!!

Robin (Tim), trying damn hard to stay stealth: Don't you have insurance?

Gothamite, don't giving a fuck: No!

Robin: You should have–

Gothamite: You know what? HEY TWO-FACE–

Robin: No, no, no– Hold on–

Gothamite: HE'S RIGHT HE–

---

Gothamite: Okay- Cannabis is very much legal in L.A.

Batman: We're not in L.A.

Gothamite: Yeah that's funny because– *runs*

Batman: *Runs after him.*

---

Gothamite: See I don't hate you

Signal: Always good to hear that–

Gothamite: You doing a pretty good job.

Signal: I–

Gothamite, also a bus driver: But you gotta stop being thrown at my window–

Signal: I don't control where villains throw me.

Gothamite: Yeah bro– But you better start, otherwise there's gonna be one more out there–

---

Gothamite, also a security guard on his phone at 3 am: Yeah, no honey it's literally desert here–

Gothamite: HOLY SHIT

Batman:

Gothamite: Fucking warn a guy, mY GOD–

---

Gothamite: I thought you were taller.

Nightwing: I heard that a lot.

---

Gothamite: How do you see on that thing?

Batgirl (Cassandra):

Batgirl: I don't.

Gothamite, terrified: Oh okay–

---

Batman: Shouldn't you be at home?

Gothamite, who's also a teenager very much snicking out at four am: Shouldn't you mind you business?

Batman:

After being forcefully driven to home on the batmobile

Gothamite That was really unecessary–

---

Gothamite: Are you alone??? Where'd your dad? Where's Batman?

Robin (Tim Drake, early days): Batman's not my dad.

Gothamite:

Gothamite: See now I'm concerned.

Robin: Oh no–

Gothamite: What's is this a internship...? A job...?

Robin: You know what? Yeah, Pretty much.

Gothamite: Really? Oh okay, okay. I'm less concerned– Because–

Robin: Yeah I can see–

Gothamite: Like "is he kidnaping those children"?

Robin, chuckling: No, no–

Gothamite: You get paid?

Robin: Not really.

Gothamite: I'm back at being concerned–

---

Gothamite, from her window: Have you eaten yet?

Robin (Dick): No– (lying)

Gothamite: Oh, the poor child– Oh shame on you

Batman:

Gothamite: The poor kid– You're dragging him alone with you to fight crime on a empty stomach?

Batman:

Batman: I–

Gothamite: Unbelievable. I expected more on you– Hold on sweety I'll see If I have some cookies here to give you.

Dick: :)

---

Robin (Damian): Do I look like a fucking child?

Gothamite: Do you want me to answer that?

---

Old Gothamite being around the city since Batman year 1: You sound different.

Batman (Dick Grayson): No I don't.

Gothamite: Yes you do–

---

Gothamite: She looks different.

Gothamite: Mark is the same girl.

Gothamite: No honey, she looks different, she's was taller

Gothamite: Honey you're being paranoid.

Gothamite: She was a red-head!

Gothamite: Oh, Mark. Now the girl can't even dye her hair? Just because she's a Super-hero? Por girl can't even reinvent herself and people on this city start saying she's a different person?! Let her be! Her life must've be hard enough–

Gothamite: Jennet I swear to God that's not the same girl–

Batgirl (Stephanie), just trying to get some information:

Gothamite: You never notice when I change my hair–

One of my biggest pet peeves when comes to DP x DC fics is how the authors present Danny's backstory to the dc characters who are just meeting him, cuz a lot of them rush it and make Danny burst into a monologue summarizing every single traumatic thing he has ever lived like he is Eminem trying to outdo himself in how fast he can talk, and honestly, it feels incredibly unnatural and weird every time it happens, it's much better to just drip feed the information or have the scene cut black and imply that he had a long and emotional conversation with them than rush it and accidentally imply that those events don't matter to his character when your fic is clearly trying to tell us the opposite.