Jaejin Sat In The Unfamiliar Acting Class, The Scent Of Wood And Fabric Mingling With The Faint Smell

Jaejin sat in the unfamiliar acting class, the scent of wood and fabric mingling with the faint smell of sweat. He stared at the crumpled piece of paper in his hand, the lines of Anton Chekhov's "The Seagull" printed neatly on the top of the mangled page. After the most recent Team Unknown meeting, Jaejin was in an especially foul mood. Watching as his fellow trainees were praised for their growth he was once again left in the background. So for the next few weeks, he committed himself to focus on acting more seriously.

Jaejin had never really thought much about acting. He figured it was a path for "pretty people" who had no other skills but still wanted to be in the limelight. To him, acting seemed superficial, a way for the talentless to grasp fame. True artistry came from mastering a craft, whether it was singing, dancing, or any other form of genuine performance. The idea of portraying someone else, of stepping into a role that wasn’t his own, felt like a betrayal of his own talents. He couldn't understand why anyone would choose to live behind a mask, constantly pretending to be someone they weren’t.

The room buzzed with quiet chatter as his classmates rehearsed their own monologues. Jaejin took a deep breath, anxiously waiting for his name to be called. Finally, the instructor's voice rang out, "Carter Jaejin, you may come forward" His heart pounded in his chest as he stood up and moved to the center of the room. He took another breath and began, "She loves me, she loves me not; she loves me, she loves me not; she loves me, she loves me not."

He hesitated, glancing at his coach for reassurance before continuing, "You see? My mother doesn't love me. Of course not! She wants to live, to love, to wear bright dresses…"

His voice wavered as he tried to project his emotions, "…and here I am, twenty-two years old, a constant reminder that she is no longer young."

He stumbled over the next line, "…when I’m not there, she’s only thirty-two, but when I am, she's forty-three—and for that, she hates me."

Jaejin could feel the eyes of his classmates on him as he performed. He was no stranger to attention, but this felt different, he felt out of place. He pushed through his nerves as he continued, "Besides, she knows I don’t accept the theater. She loves the theater, she thinks she is serving humanity and the sacred cause of art…"

He faltered again, his mind racing to keep up with the words, "…while in my opinion, the theater of today is hidebound and conventional."

He paused, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. "When the curtain goes up, and, in a room with three walls and artificial light, those great geniuses, those priests of holy art, show me how people eat, drink, love, walk about, and wear their jackets…"

He felt the strain in his voice, but pressed on, "…when from those banal scenes and phrases they try to fish out a moral—some little moral that is easily grasped and suitable for domestic use; when, in a thousand variations, I am served the same thing over and over and over again—"

Jaejin's voice grew fainter , unsure of how to finish the piece "—then I flee, as Maupassant fled from the Eiffel Tower, which made his brain reel with vulgarity."

He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, feeling a rush of relief come over him. The room was silent for a moment before his coach clapped, breaking the silence in the room. Jaejin put his head down and rushed back to his seat, happy that the performance was over. He covered his beet-red face with the crumpled page.

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Like flowers, I’m embracing the colors of life, growing at my own pace, and blooming when the time is just right.

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TRAINEE MISSION 017| Review

Week One: During week one of filming Jaejin found it hard to connect with the performance. Regarding the song, he didn't really care for it and found the lyrics pretty idiotic. "Oh my beautiful target, You zoom zoom my heart like a rocket". absolutely stupid. the dance was simple enough that he could follow along easily and the vocals were not too demanding. Overall a pretty blah week for him. Jaejin Rating : 4/10.

Week two: Jaejin is a big fan of dbsd so he was already family with the song. Though he was familiar with it he wasn't a huge fan of performing it. He enjoyed the song better than week one's and felt like he matched the vibe and concept much better, but still thought the song was a little flat and bland. The dancing was still pretty simple and again the song didn't require too much effort. He did however enjoy the rapping bits in the song and would have liked to try performing them. Jaejin Rating: 6/10

Week Three: By far his least favorite week of the bunch. Nothing during the week went right for him. He found himself fading into the background more often than he would like to admit. He struggled with the dancing and quick footwork. He also didn't like the song (though it was probably because he was in a bad mood the whole week) Vocally he found it hard to keep up while jumping around stage. He would never want to perform this again. Jaejin Rating 0/10

Week four: Week four was a 180-degree difference from week three. He loved everything about the performance. Vocally, he found singing the song challenging but not impossible and he thought that the dance was fun and bright. He liked that the concept felt young and fresh, which he thinks matches his vibe. Again he liked the rapping and how the performers played off each other. Jaejin's rating: 8/10.

Week Five: Keeping the performance going on a high note he really liked performing the week 5 song. The dance was very hard this week, and it took him a long time to remember them and where he was supposed to be at any given moment. That and the mix of floor work and jumping was a bit much for him. Vocally the song didn't require any complex vocals so it was comfortable. The song was still very fun to perform and even though struggled he didn't mind much. Jaejin's Rating: 7/10.

Week 6: this was his favorite performance of the week by far. He found the performance challenging but rewarding. He loved the song and was humming it all week, even when he wasn't performing. The dance was difficult but once it was all put together was so satisfying. Jaejin's Rating 8.5/10.

Week 7: An ok song to end their performances with. He liked how upbeat it was and found the melody funny and charming. The dance was one of the easier ones to learn. he hated that they had to perform with the senior trainees. He felt that comparisons would be inevitable and that the junior trainees were at a disadvantage. There were also too many people and moving parts that he felt like he couldn't stand out from the crowd. Jaejin's Rating: 6/10.

Notes: He liked that they performed more upbeat songs, but thinks there could have been more variety. Maybe a ballad or rock cover could have been fun.

He found himself struggling with standing out in the group and learning the dance steps. Also through a few different songs, he realized he would like to possibly dabble in rap. He liked the musicality of it and it was one of the first time he didn't find it super corny.

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2024.07.15

happy 22nd birthday, carter jaejin!

#lgctrainees #lgcent #carterjaejin #lgcbirthday

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Just a friendly reminder that today is my birthday, and yes, I am officially one year closer to being that eccentric old person with great stories. 🧓🎉 #BirthdayLife #FutureGoals #HappyMeDay

#lgctrainees #lgcent #carterjaejin

Jaejin looked at Misaki’s outstretched hand. He knew the one-sided grudge he held was stupid; Misaki—or Saem—hadn’t done anything wrong. It wasn’t his fault that Jaejin hadn’t made the cut. The guy was simply following his own path, excelling where Jaejin had fallen short. Still, the dull sting of rejection made it hard to suppress the envy he felt toward his partner. Swallowing his pride, Jaejin extended his hand and briefly shook the offered hand, trying to suppress the bitterness gnawing at him.

"Hi Saem, I'm Jaejin," he said, slipping into English out of habit. The words felt comfortable on his tongue, but the coach’s subtle frown reminded him of where he was. Quickly, Jaejin corrected himself, choosing his words carefully. "I apologize, my name is Carter Jaejin, but my friends call me CJ. It’s nice to meet you."

As he spoke, he couldn’t help but feel a bit self-conscious. His Korean, stellar by his own accounts, suddenly felt clumsy. The different consonants and vowels, and the unusual properness of his speech felt odd to him. He hoped Saem didn’t notice the awkwardness. Jaejin forced a smile, before continuing.

"Where to start," he pondered aloud. "Well, I was born in 2002 in South Korea, but moved to Atlanta when I was five, and I'm the oldest of five children. How about you, where did you grow up?"

despite his initial whining, the young boys disbelief over the notion that his korean was everything but up to the standards the company apparently wanted him to be at being cause for a rather pouty expression leading up to today, misaki can't say he's actually upset— no, general appearances and goofy behaviors aside, misaki knew his lacking korean ( regardless of how minor ) was something management would eventually make him crack down on. he wasn't perfect, didn't feel the need to be perfect when he cared more about putting on a show, but he was meant to be debuting, so he's got to have his basics in order at the very least.

jaejin is another trainee he doesn't know very well, their paths seemingly never having really crossed as they went about their days within the company, and that peaks misakis interest. he enjoyed meeting new people, spontaneity high above strict guidelines, but misaki supposes he'll have to compromise while their lessons are taking place ( he's not looking to make trouble for himself with their coach . . . not yet, anyways ). "i can start, it's easy!" direct as ever, misaki wears a cheshire like grin, a hand shooting out to jaejin because he supposes that's the proper thing to do. "hello, my name is kuramoto misaki, but you can just call me misaki— or saem, i'm ok with either!" he slips into something a little less proper towards the end, focusing himself again as his brows furrow. "and you are?"