Ok But Hear Me Out

Ok but hear me out…

Levi and Farlan’s first meeting set to ‘fight for me’ from heathers the musical

I bet little Levi used to play with Mama Kuchel's hair all the time

head empty just the (oddly specific) lengths that an ackerman will go for their beloved

*rocks in corner while hugging the bucket for my ugly crocodile tears*

_ _ also this _ _

Levi is an observant lover.

He’ll study you. All of you, every aspect of you. The words that make you frown in offense. The ones that instantly draw a smile to your lips. The way you like your tea; the times you’d take a coffee instead. The ingredients you push to the side of your plate during lunch. The temperature of your water in the shower. The snacks you crave after midnight. The silly little things that lift your spirits, and the trivial ones that put you down. When you’re in the mood to be in his company, and when you want to be given space. When his dry remarks are welcome, and when you prefer his silent presence. The places where you like to be touched, and the ones that make you slightly pull back. The way you kiss when you’re in the mood for love, and the way you do when you’re tired and want to call it a night instead.

Nothing slips him. He absorbs it all. And then does it all the way you like.

He may not be vocal about his feelings, but every move of his is attentive and drowns you in affection. And that’s all one could ask for in a lover. Because being understood without having to speak, listened to without ever being made to feel like a burden, and unconditionally taken care of and into consideration, is true love.

I think this quote from Isayama sort of says it all about Levi:

“It’s that he found a place to make the most of what he could do, or rather, his own special abilities.  Underground, where it was all he could do to stay alive, he had to live for that, but then he started to form relationships and began to feel that he could do things for others.  And that’s why he first went above ground…”

As soon as Levi realized he could use his strength to help others, that’s what he tried to do.  It was what he always wanted to do.  It was always just there, an inherent part of his personality.  He just didn’t realize he could help others until he became friends with Furlan and Isabel because no one ever told him he could.  No one ever showed him how.  Levi was left lost by Kenny, because Kenny only ever taught Levi to use his strength for himself, and no one else, and then abandoned him, leaving him in desperate, dire circumstances where, as Isayama said, it was all he could do to stay alive.  In a position where he wasn’t able to do anything but struggle to survive.  He had to find out for himself, through forming friendships and relationships with others, that his strength could actually help other people.  No one taught him that.  He had to and was able to figure it out on his own.  It’s also testament to Levi’s open and compassionate heart that, despite how he was raised, and where he was raised, he was willing to let others get close to him and form those relationships.  And the moment he realized that he could help others, that’s what he wanted and tried to do.  That’s also why he decided to stay with the Survey Corps, not because he felt beholden or some sort of infatuation with Erwin, but because he felt like it was a place where he could help the most people the most effectively.  Before that, he knew Furlan and Isabel wanted to live above, and he tried to make that a reality for them, even though, if you read “No Regrets”, you see that Levi himself wasn’t sure about living on the surface, and was scared about the dangers involved with leaving the only place he’d ever known, or trusting someone from the surface making them promises.  But he yielded to Furlan’s plans, he left behind his own comfort, he left behind his own certainty and his own place in the world, a place where he’d worked and fought and scratched his way to a position of, at least among the people of the Underground, some respect and standing, so that he could give a better life to the two people he loved.  And we see this same, self-sacrificial tendency later on in the story too, when Levi tries to take on the burden of killing Erwin himself, and keeping Furlan and Isabel out of it so they can actually have a chance to live the lives they want, and not have to be on the run from the authorities. 

And that really encapsulates who Levi is.  A totally selfless act, done for the benefit of others and, in many ways, to his own detriment.  Levi was taught to be exactly the opposite of this by Kenny.  But still, this is who Levi is, selfless, self-sacrificial, kind and caring.  Nobody taught Levi to be this way.  He just is this way. 

"Hey," his soft tone brings you to awareness, followed by the sound of the bedroom door opening further. A light rattle of the metal handle, the soft drag of hardwood against carpet. "You're still in bed?"

His feet pad across the carpet to your side. You grumble, peeling your eyes opened to squint at the dark haired man. "Bad brain day," you grunt, quickly closing your eyes again and pressing your face back into the pillow.

You must be a mess, hair all twisted and knotted from tossing and turning. Laying on your stomach, the bedsheets are all twisted and tight around your legs. The bed tilts sharply as Levi sits by your side, hip close to your shoulder. Placing an arm by your side, he hovers worriedly over you. "Another headache.." he murmurs softly. You turn to face him, peeling your eyes open to meet his softened gaze.

"The light hurts," you groan. Even the darkness of the bedroom feels like knives stabbing into your eyes. Levi frowns, brows drawing up. He presses a thumb to your temple, working the digit into the lines of your furrowed brow, up across your forehead and between your brows, slowly soothing away all the stressed wrinkles.

"Shhhh," he soothes softly. He speaks quietly, immediately considerate of your aching skull. Your eyes flutter closed at the soft touch. "A migraine then. Have you taken anything for it?"

"No," you admit with a sigh. His frown deepens even further at your admission. "Didn't want to move."

He clicks his tongue, thumb dragging slowly across your cheek. "I'll grab something. Close your eyes again, i'll be right back."

Burying your face back into your pillow, you mutter a quick thanks. He pats your hair softly before rising. His socked feet cross the carpet even quieter, careful, almost gliding away.

The next thing you know, the mattress is tilting again, Levi's outer thigh pressing to your shoulder as he sits back down. A pill bottle rattling softly in one hand, a fresh glass of water in the other, Levi urges you to sit up. "I brought Ibuprofen. Drink the whole glass too, it'll help."

Your head is pounding, but you follow his direction. Taking the proffered glass, you press it to your forehead for a brief moment, soaking in the cool relief, before knocking back a couple of tablets. "Thanks again," you press yourself to his side, keeping your eyes closed as you press your head into the skin at his neck. Even the little bit of light filtering through the closed blinds hurts.

"It's nothing," Levi presses a quick kiss to your forehead. He lives for providing acts of service to his loved ones -family and friends- you know this, but still you always been like a burden whenever your brain betrays you. Levi's arm falls across your back, fingers pressing into the small of your waist and pulling you close to his side. "Have you eaten anything today? Or drank anything?"

"Mmmmgn," you whine, knowing he's going to be unhappy with your response. "Haven't really moved."

Levi clicks his tongue, softly petting the back of your head. His fingers thread into your hair, working tight circles into your scalp. "That's not good, you know that right? You need to remember to eat."

"Look whose talking," you chime back, pressing a quick kiss to his neck. Already your head feels lighter, your thoughts unfogged. You frown, "Sorry for being a bother."

"Hey," you can feel the depth of his frown through your hair. Levi often forgets to eat when he's particularly busy, simply not noticing the sharp aches of hunger pains. "We help each other, remember?"

"Yeah," your eyes flutter, head pressing heavily against his shoulder. "We're a team."

You end up spending the next hour with your head in his lap, the bedroom lights still off and his fingers working diligently into your scalp. You fall back asleep, right there, nose pressed into his thigh. When you wake up, you feel brand new, refreshed, and Levi has a light meal prepared for you.