Puberty

Puberty

Probably one of the most personal drawings I have made in a while:

I dislike change, it’s very upsetting for me, one of the reasons as to why being my autism. Unfortunately since I wasn’t diagnosed until this year, I had very little support.

So when my body started changing, I hated it. I hated my breasts so much and I hated wearing bras. They weren’t even that big but felt like a gigantic burden.

Along with it there were sudden changes of expectations that came with femininity. I was being more and more pressured to conform and I couldn’t do it even when I tried.

My clothes were too masculine and not revealing enough. Feminine, appropriate clothing were hell to wear.

The dolls and toys I loved to receive as gifts were replaced by makeup that felt itchy on my skin.

The boys were looking at me sexually and suddenly I saw myself doing my best to cover my body as much as I could.

And these damn breasts, these annoying sacks of fat that made it uncomfortable to run, to lie down, that had to be accompanied by uncomfortable bras…

The symbols of my failed femininity and the loss of my childhood.

My psychologist’s trainee told me that despite me disliking it, eye contact is important for conversations, it shows that you are interested on the other person and that I should try to make it.

And it’s like, sorry, why should I do something that genuinely makes me uncomfortable just for the sake of random neurotypicals feeling more important?

Losing the fear of being cringe and finally drawing my ocs smooching is freeing.

Next stop is NSFW (jk)

I’m not sure how many times. He did get hospitalized and featured on a newspaper.

At the time he worked in a court as a lawyer if I’m not mistaken. Apparently he had some strong evidence against a guy and so the guy hired a hitman to kill him.

He befriended the hitman because the hitman had nothing against him personally, just doing a job.

My family drops some pretty insane lore from time to time, it’s pretty interesting.

We need less inspiration porn and more documentaries that discuss the disgustingly normalized infanticide of disabled kids.

could you Please donate any amount of money even one dollar can help me provide food and water to my kids

https://gofund.me/9aa3797a

Look, I’m a minor with no source of income, not even an allowance. My country’s money is also 5 times weaker than a dollar, it’s hard for me to donate in dollars.

I wish I could help but I can’t.

I remember crying while reading the book because of how relatable Will’s arc and insecurities felt to me. Then I checked the fandom to see their thoughts and everyone was insulting him so much. Some takes were just awful…

Like, one of the most important part of this character is that ever since he was young Will was assigned the responsibility of taking care of others. That resulted in him becoming overworked, stressed and very guilty when it comes to things that were out of his control. No kid should be responsible for so much.

And what the fandom does?

Oh yeah, put all the responsibility of successfully and flawlessly taking care of his depressed boyfriend (who clearly needs more support than a single person could realistically give) on this 16 YEAR OLD BOY. And then get mad when he stumbles and call him a terrible human being.

No shit he didn’t succeed, no one would. I feel like if Rick made Will magically cure Nico’s depression with love, people would have complained less. A big part of the solangelo fandom already headcanoned Will as the perfect caregiver who would fix Nico and not have any large struggles of his own. There is a lot of subtle ableism in this fandom.

The moment Rick attempts to write a more realistic relationship between two severely traumatized teenagers, people get mad because Will isn’t the magical solution to all of Nico’s problems.

I’m not dismissing the importance of caregivers, some people do need partners that assume this kind of position and I wouldn’t be that surprised if it ended up being Nico’s case. However it is fucked up to expect this 16 year old to be perfectly ready for something like that at such a young age.

remember when tsats came out and everyone acted like will solace was the devil? that was fucking weird