That's Not A Crowbar, It's A Catbar!

That's not a crowbar, it's a catbar!

"Oh no! This resonance cascade has introduced hostile alien wildlife into the Black Mesa facility! How ever am I going to defend myself???" The humble crowbar:

You ever just wake up from an incredibly graphic and realistic nightmare that was a pure psychological horror based on your own personal phobias and trauma and just roll over like “aw shit I got too hot last night I guess.” And then make toast like you didn’t just experience the nine circles of hell before 9 am

I made some observations here, and discovered that Sampo has very interesting skills (it’s my speculations and headcanons to be more precise), not counting the fact that he DOESN’T LEAVE PRINTS IN THE SNOW and CAREFULLY CUTS OBJECTS in the game, which makes him probably the most unique character in hsr, think about it.

1. Plays keyboards. Sampo replaced Dunn in the Serval group, who plays keyboard; nothing needs to be explained here. YES, SAMPO CAN PLAY THE FUCKING PIANO.

2. Mechanics. These are definitely DIY bombs he uses. I mean, this guy can literally make a FUCKING BOMB with his paws. Or maybe something worse. My headcanon is that the bomb that Samao planted on us in Xianzhou was also made by him with his own hands.

3. Hacker. I’m sure that it was Sampo who added Sparkle to the chat with the team in Penacony, or wrote on behalf of Sparkle himself, although the Trailblazer DIDN’T ADD HIM TO THE GROUP. This already looks quite interesting, doesn’t it?

We can conclude that our Sampo is a very versatile and DANGEROUS person. “Comic Relief” ha, WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCK, MAN.

Thank you for your attention, this text is the nonsense of a madman and just a rofl AHA

an erotic poem:

leg so hot

hot hot leg

leg so hot u fry an eg

I don't want a Career I want to Fuck Around

it was too good to draw him like this... (eats a sweet stick pocky)