The Beginning Of My Jungkook Hoe Phase. Literally The Moment I Knew My Bias Had Changed Forever.

The beginning of my Jungkook hoe phase. Literally the moment I knew my bias had changed forever.

purple haired jungkook hair tied up in butter was iconic 😭 (cr. yoongi-bts)

What a creative concept! I love idiots to lovers so much and I like a good boss b!tch as OC too. And you managed to flesh out their personalities in such a short amount of time. Very fun and sexy!

cursed (Jungkook x Reader)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Rating: NSFW

Word Count: 11,617

Warngings: Angst, bickering, colorful language, mentions of bed hammers, fuck or die scenario (but there is consent, no worriews), smut, so much smut, and overdue library books.

Listening to: Stay Gold by BTS

Author's Note: This is me fulfilling a request (below), and I had a blast. Wasn't sure what to do then the idea fairies beat the shit out of me and poof. This happened.

The request was for a continuation of this, instead I made it bigger and hopefully better.

my masterlist

“Fuck…. Fuck… oh, come on, you gotta be shitting me,” you mutter to yourself as the things in your arms keep tumbling to the floor. Giving up, you place your water bottle, pencil case, and phone on the floor next to the other things you couldn’t carry, then go to get your backpack.

Walking into your bedroom, you glance at the time on the alarm clock next to your bed and hiss, “Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.” You’re going to be late. Rushing out of your room, you practically fall to the floor and haphazardly shove things into your bag. On your feet, you get your shoes on and grab your keys, but before you can get to the door, you have to go back for your phone. 

“I can not be this duck-dicked,” you whisper as you lock the door and finally start heading to the cafe in the dreary November weather. 

Checking your phone, you have four minutes to walk somewhere twenty minutes away. While waiting to cross the street, you send a message to Jungkook that you are going to be late. You know he won’t care, but you don’t want to be rude and late. 

For three years you’d been studying with him, and not once had he given a shit that you were late because you were usually late. At least you weren’t unprepared. You were pretty sure that the only reason he still bothered with you was because it was just the two of you in this program, and you took better notes, but you didn’t care. It was nice not being the only one trying to cram all this shit in your head. 

You didn’t know if Jungkook even had a social life; you certainly didn’t. There was too much to do with school and work, you didn’t have time to do much more than replying to texts within 24 hours, and even then, you failed. 

The only thing keeping you moving forward today was the idea of coffee. Not having to study in the library and having coffee and snacks readily available was like a dream. 

Somehow making it in eleven minutes, you pushed the door open too fast, and it slammed hard against the wall. You cringed, mouthing, “Sorry,” to the barista that you’d terrorized with your aggressive clumsiness, then looked around for Jungkook. 

He was in the corner, head in his hand as he shook with barely stifled laughter. You sighed, ordered a drink and croissant, then went to the table to drop your jacket and stuff off. 

“It’s not that funny,” you said as you pulled your laptop out and set it on the table. 

Jungkook looked up at you, his hand covering his mouth, and you could see his eyes were watering. He took a breath before he dropped his hand and said, “You’re face—” Then he was lost again. 

You rolled your eyes before glancing over your shoulder to see the barista holding your drink up. Picking it up and apologizing again for the door, you finally sat opposite Jungkook at the table and sipped your coffee. 

Leaning back in your chair as Jungkook wiped his eyes, he said, “I have good news and bad news.”

“Bad news first,” you replied as you sat up and opened your laptop. 

Before you could press the power button, Jungkook was closing it on your hand. You glared at him as he said, “I need to go to the library.”

“Fuck you,” you whined, immediately thinking of your croissant that you would either have to eat too fast or wait to enjoy. 

“But,” Jungkook said, looking around before leaning close and continuing in a conspiratorial whisper, “The good news….”

Mirroring him, you asked, “What?”

He leaned even closer and gestured for you to do the same. Then he was whispering in your ear, and despite yourself, you blushed as he said, “Hspspspspssspss.”

You took a deep breath as you sat back and looked pointedly away from him as he giggled. Today might be the day you finally kill him with the biggest, oldest book you could find. Finally looking at Jungkook, he shrugged, “Better than there not being any good news, right?”

“Why do you need to go to the library?” you asked, still not ready to accept this turn of events. 

Jungkook pulled a paper out and slid it across the table toward you. Unsure why, since you’d both gotten it at the same time, then he pointed at the end of a bulleted list in the middle of the page. His finger tapped over the resources needed on the syllabus, and you wanted to scream. 

Leaning back hard in your chair and arms crossed, your whole day had been turned into a fresh pile of steaming shit, and you weren’t ready to deal with it. Jungkook put the paper back in his bag and started packing his stuff up. You were able to finish the coffee and croissant, but it tasted like your plans had changed, and that was bitter and unpleasant. Then you were both shouldering your backpacks and heading out the door. 

You walked in almost silence to the library. At first, you were trying to think of the last time your day had gone your way. Then you bumped into him, apologized, and it happened again. Your cheeks were burning again, but your scarf hid that as you realized you hadn’t walked anywhere with someone in a while. With Jungkook? Never. 

“Not used to walking?” he asked, nudging you with his elbow. 

“Shutup,” you said through your scarf. Your plan at this point was to make it the few blocks to the library without walking into him again. 

Jungkook’s arm went around your shoulders, and he pulled you against his body as he said, “Don’t worry, I got you, Nerd.”

You panicked for a moment but got control of yourself quickly. Jungkook had never done anything like this, but he did weird flirty shit all the time, and you were used to it and could brush it off. It didn’t mean anything, and you weren’t going to succumb to whatever ridiculous ideas you got late at night when you were alone in bed. 

Jungkook was attractive, thoughtful, and fun to be around, but you had priorities. Maybe if you kept repeating that at some point it wouldn’t feel like the flimsy excuse it was. Even if you thought he might like you, you didn’t have a reasonable way to bring this up. Every fantasy you had was of Jungkook approaching you or attacking you because the feelings the imaginary Jungkook had been too much for him to hold back. But that’s not how relationships started. It was just something fun to think about while you fell asleep, nothing more. 

His arm stayed draped across your shoulders until you got to the library; the walk had gone quicker than expected. Jungkook dropped his arm and held the door open for you, and asked, “Usual spot?”

“Doesn’t matter,” you said as you held open one of the second set of doors for him. 

Jungkook walked past you, then greeted the person at the front desk. You did the same, but Jungkook went to the counter. He leaned on his folded forearms as he talked to his friend, and you went to find a pair of desks. 

As you dropped your bag on the privacy desk, you looked up to see Jungkook waving at you. Furrowing your brow, you took your backpack and went back toward the desk. He was grinning, and when you were close enough, he said as quietly as he could, “We can use one of the rooms.”

“Why?” you blurted before adding, “We don’t need a room.”

The guy at the desk, Jimin, according to his badge, rolled his eyes before holding his hand out and saying in a bored voice, “Student ID.”

“C’mon, we never get to use a whole table,” Jungkook whined, tugging at your jacket. 

You watched as Jimin gave Jungkook a reproachful look before he took your ID and started typing. Jimin dropped your ID onto the counter and then handed Jungkook the keycard and a sheet of paper before he leaned close and said, “You get the room for the rest of the day and this card….” Jimin held it up and continued in a severe tone, “It’s a master, so I need it back.”

“You are a lifesaver,” Jungkook said sincerely as he took the card and paper with the rules for using the rooms, “I owe you.”

Jimin’s eyes darted to you before he sat back down and said cockily, “Yeah, you do.”

You tried not to judge people, but it was hard when they were that bitchy. Jungkook started heading toward the room, and as you walked around the desk, you tapped it and said with a grin and venomous tone, “Thanks for all your help, sweetheart.”

Hearing the chair he’d been sitting in move and the frantic whispering, you had to look. You turned around as you walked away and saw Jimin staring daggers at you, and you smiled as he muttered something and sat back down. 

You didn’t know why he didn’t like you, but it didn’t matter. Knowing that you couldn’t do much more than return the same bitchy attitude, this was the extent of your fun, plus being antagonistic to men who didn’t like you was like a drug. It was probably why you had such an instant attraction to Jungkook. He wasn’t like the others. He didn’t mind how rude you could sometimes be, and he never assumed anything. 

Catching up to him, you asked, “How do you pay him back?”

“What?” Jungkook asked before rounding another corner. 

“That guy, how are you paying him back?” you elaborated. 

Jungkook checked the card once he stopped at the room, then dragged it across the black pad next to the door. The red light on the black pad turned green, and there was a click, then he was opening the door as he said, “Don’t worry about it.”

You walked in, placing your backpack on the large table, and realized that you’d gotten a conference room instead of one of the private rooms, “Oh, I’m going to worry. Aren’t these expensive to rent?”

“You need to stop,” Jungkook warned as he took a seat next to you and started to unpack. 

“I won’t,” you said as you unpacked, “Tell me, or you can go a week without my notes.”

Jungkook turned in his chair to look at you, his lips pursed as he raised his eyebrows, “Good luck with the Greek vocab.”

“Why am I being punished?” you ask, nearly shouting in your incredulity. 

“Because you don’t mind your business,” he said, holding a finger up, then added, “And don’t act like one of us needs the other more. This is mutual destruction, bro.”

Sighing, you knew he was right, but you didn’t understand, “I just don’t see why I can’t help pay—”

“Because you don’t have what he wants,” Jungkook cut you off and sounded irritated. He took a deep breath before he said in a gentler tone, “How about a distraction.”

Jungkook ordered you both coffee and snacks from the cafe on campus. They delivered, but it wasn’t as good as the coffee shop you were supposed to be in. You tried to stop him, but he insisted that if you didn’t order something, he would order for you. This was something you didn’t understand about him. It wasn’t like you were destitute. You worked and could afford your own place. Jungkook was the freak that still lived in student housing but acted like he had money to burn; in summation, the math didn’t math. You didn’t even know how to ask for clarification on what his financial standing was, but it didn’t matter. If he wanted to blow his money on food and coffee for you, then you wouldn’t stop him from achieving his lofty goals. 

An hour later and you were barely an inch away from your laptop screen and about to lose your mind. Dramatically you dropped your head to the table and grunted, then asked without lifting your head, “Can you read this?”

You heard some papers shuffling, then felt the heat of Jungkook’s body as he leaned over to look at your laptop. He typed and clicked a few things, sighed, then said, “No one can read that. Who scanned that in?”

Sitting up and frustrated, “Good question… bet I could find them before you.”

Jungkook laughed, then pointed at the screen, “The book is here.”

“So? It’s in the archive, and we aren’t allowed to touch their precious books,” you said. You knew it was at this school, most of the books you needed were here. They were copies or less rare printings, but it was the same reason Jungkook went to this school. 

Holding up the keycard for the room, Jungkook asked, “Or…. we go on a field trip?”

“Shut your fucking whore mouth,” you practically whimpered. You hadn’t missed what Jimin had said. You just didn’t think about actually using it for that. 

Jungkook’s lips were pressed into a hard line before he said, “Rotten people who say mean things don’t get to go to the archive.”

“You tell me what I need to do to get into the archive, and I will do it. I have no shame,” you said, leaning forward and staring into his dark eyes. 

He seemed unsettled by this, but only for a moment before he shook his head and said in a weaker than usual voice, “Don’t make it weird, let’s just go.”

You could barely contain yourself as you and Jungkook snuck into the archive. It wasn’t against any rules for you to go back there, but taking things without permission wasn’t technically allowed or going down there without a chaperone to babysit the books. Neither of you had any intention of stealing. You were legitimately borrowing them and would put them back. No one would know about this, and you were convinced of this as Jungkook found two pairs of white gloves. It had to be a good omen; finally, something was going right today.

Slipping the gloves on, you both split up to grab what you needed. As far as you could tell, the only person on staff right now was being a bitch at the front desk, and when you asked Jungkook, he confirmed this. 

It didn’t take long for you to find what you needed, carefully getting the last book out and making a note of where you got it from on a post-it. As you walked out of the aisle, something fell behind you. You turned on your heel, expecting to see someone. The thud had been so loud that there was no way it had happened accidentally. But there was no one behind you. 

Glancing down, you found a book face down on the ground, not even a foot behind you. You set the rest of the books on a table nearby, then went to make sure that the book that had fallen wasn’t damaged. 

You carefully picked it up and turned it over, immediately knowing that there was something off about this book. The leather was strange. Even with the gloves between your skin and the book, you could feel how rough it was; the weird looping stitches around all the edges only added to the ickiness. The front cover didn’t seem damaged, the corners were fine, and when you cracked it open, the binding all seemed good. Other than it being old and bound in low-quality leather with a thick cord around the edges, the book seemed fine. 

Before you closed it, a word on one of the pages caught your eye. As you opened the book fully to read, you heard Jungkook whisper from a few aisles away, “Let’s go.”

Closing the book and grabbing the others, you quickly jotted down on the same list where the fallen book had come from before catching up to Jungkook. You giggled as you saw the stack he had, and he did the same at the pile in your arms. You both had only needed two books, maybe three if you were ambitious, but you were walking up the stairs and back to the conference room with thirteen books combined. 

Back in the room, you set your books down near your stuff, and even though you knew you should get to work, you couldn’t help yourself. Pulling the last book you’d gotten from the stack, you carefully opened it and started reading. 

Mostly in English, which was a surprise. You figured it had to be some sort of collection, maybe a journal, since it was handwritten. The first few pages had a strange dedication and long poem that you half-read, then you came to the first part. 

Every page had strange illustrations of anatomy and notes, some in English and French. You made it to the second part, and the illustrations were of herbs, flowers, and fungi. The handwriting was similar, but this section was in German. You flipped back and forth to compare the writing, and if it wasn’t the same person writing, then someone went to a lot of effort to mimic the original writer’s handwriting. 

The third section was astrology and in a mixture of Spanish and Swedish, two languages that did not work together well. You continued, finding the fourth section, and you figured out what this book was: a grimoire. 

You chuckled to yourself as you looked at the different recipes, drawings, and instructions, all written in a combination of the previous languages. As interesting as this was, you knew that magic wasn’t real, but the people like whoever made this book were intriguing. You couldn’t tear your eyes away. 

Glancing up to see if Jungkook was busy, you wanted to share what you’d found with him, but he looked deep in thought. You didn’t want to interrupt him. Back to the grimoire, you flipped another page then your eyes locked on something new. 

At the bottom of the left page, there was a newer note in different ink. Sighing as you realized that it was written in Greek for no good reason. Pulling your gloves off, you did your best to sound it out as you wrote it down on a post-it. Absently you were running your finger along the edge of the page, and as you wrote down the last set of characters, the old paper cut into the pad of your index finger, and you hissed as you pulled your hand away.

Jungkook coughed and startled you as you popped your finger into your mouth. When you looked over at him to ask if he was okay, he looked like he was about to be sick. His arm clutched his lower stomach, and he grunted before he turned to look at you. A pained smile spread across his face as you asked, “You good, bro?”

He shrugged and made a noncommittal noise, then got up and left the room, hunched over and still clutching his lower abdomen. You assumed he must have eaten something he shouldn’t have, or maybe he had IBS. If something had been wrong, he would have said something or asked for help. 

With your copy of the strange note, you started working on translating. The comment Jungkook had made earlier about helping with Greek was not him grasping at straws. Out of everything you tried to study, Greek just didn’t make sense to you like other languages did. 

A knock at the door had you panicking until you heard Jungkook’s muffled voice on the other side, “I forgot the keycard. Let me back in. I miss you.”

You got up, opened the door, and asked, “What happened?”

Jungkook rushed past you and sat down without replying. 

“Alright,” you said to yourself as you went back to your seat. Nudging Jungkook once you sat down, and he nearly toppled out of his chair, you asked again, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he said quickly, giving you a dirty look before pulling his coat over his lap, “Just.. my stomach. Do you need something?”

The book, you remembered, replying, “Yes,” as you moved closer and grabbed the grimoire. Placing it between the two of you, you tried to ignore how twitchy Jungkook was as you explained what you had found. 

He leaned close, and you heard him inhale deeply, then he said, “It’s probably nothing, doesn’t even look like words—fuuuuuck.”

You froze because the sound Jungkook just made was not even remotely close to pain. He slammed a fist on the table and ducked his head, breathing heavily again, before groaning, “I’m… fuck, fine—ohmygodfuuuuck….”

“Bullshit,” you hissed as you moved away from him. Watching him closely, your mind raced as you asked, “What the fuck is going on?”

Turning away from you slightly, Jungkook moaned again but tried to cover it up with a cough before he did a shitty job of acting like everything was fine, “Nothing, it’s—fuuuuuck—nothing, promise.”

“Do you have a remote-controlled buttplug in or something? Maybe took viagra instead of Adderall?” you offered, knowing full well that Jungkook didn’t take stimulants. It didn’t make any sense why he was acting like this and trying to pretend that he wasn’t moaning like a bitch in heat. 

“Shutup,” he whined, “And don’t make fun of me.”

“You gonna explain?” you said, hoping he would as much as you just wanted to pretend like none of this happened. 

Jungkook sighed and faced you. He looked exhausted, but his face was flushed, and when his eyes met yours, you gasped; his pupils were blown. Almost panting as he gripped the edge of the table, Jungkook tried to speak but only moaned and doubled over again. 

Whatever was going on with him was serious, and you decided he could have his little meltdown in a safer place than the library. “Fuck this,” you muttered and started gathering your stuff. Quickly packing both your stuff and Jungkook’s while he tried to stifle the moaning, you asked, “How far are the dorms?”

“The… what?” he whimpered. 

“Fuck that too,” you muttered as you pulled out something from your backpack you rarely used. Thankful that you had packed your canvas bag despite not thinking you’d need it, you shoved the books you weren’t supposed to borrow into it. You explained to Jungkook as you scribbled on a note for Jimin at the front desk, “We can go to my apartment, then get an Uber or something once you’re over this.” You didn’t want to scare him by saying ambulance, but that was your first thought. Something was very wrong with him.

He didn’t seem to have any problem getting up and taking his backpack; Jungkook even tried to grab the canvas bag. Shaking your head and letting him shoulder the books, you opened the door for him. 

With a noticeable bulge in his pants, he walked through the doorway with his head down. You rolled your eyes, and before the door closed, you saw the keycard and note for Jimin still on the table. “Fuck me left, right, and center.”

Thankfully you had still been holding the door open, and you were able to walk back inside. Reaching out to grab the card and note, there was a thunderous banging on the door. In a panic, you ran, as much as you could run for only three steps, and yanked the door open to see a very terrified Jungkook. 

Holding up the note and keycard, you said, “Almost forgot these… you need to relax.”

Jungkook gripped your upper arms and pulled you out of the conference room, pushing you up against the wall, saying ominously, “Don’t do that again.”

“Do what? Forget things? Sorry, but it’s a horrible character flaw, and if I could—” 

His hand clamped over your mouth, searching your eyes, and hissed, “Don’t leave me alone.”

This was quickly becoming more serious than you were capable of handling. You nodded, now worried that Jungkook might have finally snapped from all the pressure. As he released you and you started to walk toward the entrance, Jungkook took your hand. You glanced over your shoulder as he laced his fingers between yours, and he seemed okay again. 

You’d heard of people having breakdowns or psychotic episodes, and Jungkook was at the right age for something like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder to start, but it didn’t fit. He wouldn’t be fine for the entire time you knew him, then in a matter of fifteen minutes lose his whole fucking mind. 

Getting to the desk, Jungkook tried to pull you away and out the doors, but you reminded him, “We need to give the card back.”

“I’ll do it,” he said, standing too close and then glancing at Jimin, who was watching the two of you, “I don’t trust him.”

You shrugged, handing him the card and the note, which he read. Then he was dragging you with him and slammed both on the desk as he said in a rush, “Here, we’ll be back later.”

Jungkook continued to pull you along, even though Jimin was standing and yelling something, but you were already out the doors. For a moment, he led the way, and you asked, “You going to be okay in the dorms or…?”

“No,” Jungkook shot back like you’d offended him, “We’re going to your apartment.” He stopped, his hands on your arms again, and he looked like he was about to cry, “You promised.”

Yupp, he’s broken, you thought before you forced a smile and said, “I did, but this isn’t the way to my place.”

Jungkook sighed then smiled at you, “Okay, you should probably lead then.”

“Yeah…” you said, wondering how bad this would get. 

Unlike walking to the library, Jungkook kept your hand in his the entire walk, running his thumb along yours constantly. That spot would probably be sore by the time you got to your apartment, and it was. 

You unlocked the front door, ignoring the mailbox or anything else. During the walk, Jungkook would jerk you away from anyone else who happened to pass. You went ahead of him up the three flights of stairs, then down the hall to your apartment, and that’s when all the adrenaline of helping someone in distress wore off, and the anxiety kicked in. 

As you got your door key isolated and lined up with the deadbolt lock, you realized that you had never had anyone else in your apartment. You took a deep breath, unlocked the door, then let Jungkook in. This wasn’t going to be a big deal, and if something was really wrong, you’d call 911 or something. 

Frustrated that he wouldn’t release your hand, you did your best to lock the door and get your outside stuff off, but it was no use. Irritated, you shook your arm as you said, “Let go for a fucking minute.”

You were free, but it didn’t last as you were slammed against the door a few seconds later. Jungkook was bearing down on you and looked completely unhinged. It was hard to say if he was going to cry or shout at you, maybe take a bite out of your neck; none of these options appealed to you. 

Before he could decide what he was going to do, you started in the kindest voice you could muster, “Sor—I’m sorry, I needed to get my coat and stuff off. It’s okay.”

Cautiously raising your hand and hoping that this would help, you brushed his hair out of his face, and Jungkook seemed to melt into your touch. His lips parted, and his head tilted, then he kissed the heel of your palm before his eyes opened. With a heavy sigh, he whispered, “You aren’t mad at me?”

You said exactly what you were thinking, “What?” Quickly pulling it together, since one of you had to be rational, you added, “I wasn’t mad, just a little frustrated. It’s—what are you doing….”

Jungkook didn’t reply as he continued to kiss your hand. You were too scared at this point to do anything but let it happen as his tongue ran along your index finger. It wasn’t until your backpack fell off your other shoulder and crashed to the floor that either of you was aware of anything else. 

He grinned, looking a little drunk now, as he said, “Show me around. I’ve never seen your place before.”

“No, you promised you’d tell me what was going on,” you lied. He didn’t promise anything, but you hoped that he wouldn’t remember that. 

His brow furrowed as he thought, then his eyes met yours, and he shrugged.

Now you were getting angry, and you took a steadying breath as you explained, “You were fine, totally normal, then you started acting like—”

“I’m not high,” he cut you off, then looked up as he hedged, “I didn’t take anything… I don’t think I’m high.”

“Alright, let’s skip what happened for now,” you said, deciding to help him get his coat and the bags off as you asked, “Can you tell me what’s going on? Are you in pain? Do you feel sick?”

“It comes and goes… I think,” he said as you set his backpack and the canvas bag down, you heard Jungkook chuckle. You glanced up before you started to unzip his jacket while his arms were hanging at his side. When you pushed the coat off his shoulders, he tipped his head forward and rested against your forehead as he sighed, “I feel really good now that you’re taking care of me.”

Guiding his moody ass to the couch, you told him you just needed to grab something, and then you’d be right back. He nodded but got up and followed you as you went to grab the grimoire out of the canvas bag. Jungkook also followed you back to the couch, insisting on sitting as close as possible. 

It didn’t matter. You could look things up on your phone while you flipped through the book until you found that page again. Once you were on it, you didn’t waste time trying to read the note but focused on the rest of the page. 

You didn’t believe in this stuff, but it didn’t seem to matter how many times you thought that since Jungkook was still trying to get even closer. By the time you caved and asked him what he thought, he was sitting behind you with his arms around your waist. If you had had any doubts about what was going on with him, they were obliterated the second he started inching closer to you. 

“Hey, can you read any of this?” you asked, holding the book up and hoping he could focus for even a few minutes. 

You nearly dropped the book as Jungkook spoke he sounded like himself again despite what he was doing, “Yeah, move it a little closer.”

Now that you were waiting for him while he muttered in French, German, Swedish, and Spanish, you were able to process what he was doing. You knew, but you didn’t really pay attention until you didn’t have the book distracting you. 

He had both arms around your chest, one pushing up under your breasts, so they were resting on his forearm as he continued to squirm behind you. Jungkook’s front was flush against your back, his legs bracketing your own like you were both on a motorcycle, but you were the one driving. You knew what that was being pressed against your ass, but you didn’t want to think about that. You shouldn’t think about it, but you could feel his heartbeat pulsing from the bulge digging into your ass despite both of you wearing jeans.

Mercifully, Jungkook chuckled, and that got you out of your head. He rested his chin on your shoulder as he said cheerily, “That’s cute. Where’d you find it?”

“What’s cute about it?” you asked, desperate for any information. 

“It’s a bunch of dirty words,” Jungkook replied. The arm that had been a shelf for your tits started moving, “I think it’s cute.”

If you had the ability to be honest with yourself, the attention he had been showing was exactly what you had wanted, but these were not the right circumstances. Good thing you weren’t going to be honest with yourself… yet. 

As his hand cupped your breast, you laughed awkwardly and stood. Turning and taking a step back, you held a hand up and said in a too friendly voice, “You need some water.”

You didn’t turn around as you backed away from him, worried he might do something drastic again. Barely ten feet away from him, so close to the kitchen and a moment to yourself to think, you watched as Jungkook’s dopey smile and dewy eyes seemed to lose focus, then he clutched his stomach and howled in agony. 

Back at his side, water and that moment to think forgotten, you did your best to get him to sit up and realized too late where you wound up. On your knees between his legs, both your hands holding his face as you were about to ask where the pain was when you noticed he had relaxed. An awful idea popped into your head, but you couldn’t do it without telling Jungkook. 

Getting him to look at you was hard, he seemed dazed but made eye contact and smiled at you. You smiled back, then said, “Hey, there you are. I want to try something.”

“Yeah?” he asked dreamily. 

“Stay calm, and if you let me do this, you can have whatever you want,” you said, then felt your stomach clench. You spoke without thinking, but it was too late, and you needed answers more than dignity. 

Jungkook’s arms were around you and pulling you close as he practically purred, “You can do whatever you want, then my turn.”

“Okay, cool,” you said, feeling genuine panic as you tried to get out of the death grip he had on you. Finally, on your feet, as he looks up at you, you instruct, “Stay on the couch and let me know if it starts to hurt. Okay?”

Nodding up at you, you start backing away. You wait after each step, and instead of making it to the kitchen this time, you barely make it four steps before he winces. Closing the distance but still standing, Jungkook wraps his arms around your legs as the pieces start falling into place in your head. 

Jungkook sniffles and asks in a weak voice, “This game is shit. Is it my turn yet?”

You sigh because you need more information, and the only time he has seemed like himself was in a compromising position. Tilting his head back, you say, “Lean back. I’m almost done.”

He does as you ask, and you reluctantly climb onto his lap. His arms are around you, and he’s pulling you as close as possible, that now familiar bulge against your inner thigh. With his head pressed against your chest, you try to reach for the book. Hoping that you were right about this, you ask, “Can you try to read again?”

Jungkook nods against your chest and turns to the side you have the book. His hands that were on your sides start to move lower as his breathing evens out, and in a very calm voice, he asks, “What happened?”

“Trying to figure that out,” you offer, moving the book closer, “Any of this make any sense?”

“Not really,” he says, then he sits up and tries to take the book, “Ugggh.”

His face buried between your covered breasts and his hands on your ass, you give him a few minutes to recover. You could read enough of what the page said to know that it was basically a jumbled mess of obscenity, but that didn’t mean the note in the margin was related to it. None of that seemed to matter at this point. 

With one arm around him, holding him against you so that you could get the book out of reach. You leaned into him and cradled his head as you resigned yourself to this. It seemed that the closer you got, the closer you had to stay. 

You didn’t panic as you felt his hand sliding around your ass to between your legs. Feeling him there under these circumstances didn’t feel good. Running your fingers through his hair as he ran his along your jean-covered sex, you whispered, “It’s gonna be okay.”

Jungkook sighed, “Liar.”

You laughed, but it was lifeless, then you asked, “Are you you again?”

“For now,” he said as his other hand went between your legs. 

You took a deep breath before you said, “We can figure it out later.”

“I feel like I’m losing my mind,” he said through gritted teeth, “I’m so sorry… I need more.”

With his arms out of the way, you were able to pull your sweater off and drop it behind you. Jungkook moaned as one of his hands abandoned its efforts of burrowing into your jeans and grabbed one of your breasts roughly. This allowed him to look up at you, and his expression was tortured. 

You tried to smile but failed as you said weakly, “Only way out is through?”

“Ew, don’t drag Robert Frost into this,” he joked before his hand flipped the cup of your bra under, “Fuck, I’m really sorry.”

He pinched your nipple, which you couldn’t help reacting to, but you knew that you couldn’t keep going like this. Reaching behind, you unhooked your bra as you said, “No more apologizing. It’s making this really weird.”

The bra joined your sweater, and both of Jungkook’s hands were palming your breasts. He nodded but said, “I’ll make this up to you, I promise.” 

Closing your eyes, you gave in. If this was what had to be done, then you were going to enjoy it. You opened your eyes and searched Jungkook’s as you cupped his cheeks before you said, “Just make me cum, and we’re even.”

His eyes went wide for a moment, then the corner of his mouth twitched. You had a few seconds to appreciate this stunned look before he flipped you onto your back and was jerking at your jeans. When you tried to help him with the zipper, he swatted your hand away but was grinning. 

Even as he pulled your pants off and tossed them over his shoulder, he wasn’t in any pain. As long as he wasn’t hurting, you could maybe enjoy this. Knowing that for at least a little while, you’d be able to talk to him, the real him, you wouldn’t have any reason to feel bad. This still felt like you were taking advantage of the situation, but that was easier to ignore with him actively participating. 

Your jeans had hit the window in Jungkook’s excitement, but nothing was broken. They just made a sound as the button hit the window and startled you. As soon as you were down to just your panties and socks, he laid next to you with your legs draped over his now tilted lap. With one of his arms under you, his hand quickly found the back of your neck, while the other was ghosting over your skin. As he spoke, he traced your collarbone then down the center of your chest, “Guess we’ve never had the conversation, but….”

His voice trailed off as his fingers went lower, barely touching you as he reached the waistband of your panties. Jungkook was watching his hand as he spread your legs while he finished, “... do you have a boyfriend? I don’t even know if you like guys.”

The giggle that left your lips was half out of amusement at what he said, and the other half was pure nervous energy. His fingertips barely touched your inner thighs as they moved closer and closer; you did your best to explain, “I’m single.”

Jungkook faced you and looked confused, “Really?”

“Why would I lie about that right now?” you blurt, then moan as he finally touches you. Your jeans had been enough protection to ignore what he had been doing before, but you could feel everything now. 

When you were able to focus on him again, he was smirking and said, “I don’t think I need to worry about making you cum.”

You bit your lip as he continued to delicately run just the tips of his fingers along your sex, but it didn’t help. You started to move your hips to get more, and then he ducked his head. Spreading your legs wider as he swirled his tongue around a nipple, you said in a breathy voice, “I thought you were dying.”

Feeling his breath fanning out against your skin as he spoke, you barely registered what he said, “We could stop and test that theory.”

“Smartass,” you whimpered. 

Jungkook adjusted, propping himself up on the arm that had been under you, and asked, “Can I try something?”

“We are trying a lot right now,” you pointed out, but when he continued to tease you, you shrugged, “But go ahead.”

Grinning as his eyes went dark, the hand that had been between your legs was now gripping the crotch of your panties, then jerked up. You yelped as you were suddenly and violently relieved of your underwear. The same hand was now between your legs and flush against your sex. 

Jungkook’s head dropped to your shoulder as he said, “I’ll buy you a new pair.”

“It’s cool,” you say, sounding distinctly not cool, “You can’t help it.”

He sighed and lifted his head, “I could have just taken them off. That way seemed more fun.”

You were stunned. Jungkook kept talking, but you weren’t hearing him. All you could think about was him trying to have fun at a time like this. You were completely naked, except for socks, but they don’t count, and he was touching—no, he was holding your pussy in an oddly intimate way and trying to make this fun. 

“You okay?” he asked, but all you really registered was his middle finger starting to move. 

Nodding, you licked your lips which were too dry, and said, “Yeah, fun, sure.”

“Fuuuuck,” Jungkook groaned, and you felt his body convulse next to you before he pushed his middle finger inside you. He took a deep breath as he slowly relaxed, he asked in a panic, “You’ve had sex, right?”

“Yeah,” you replied and realized that you had both hoped that this would be enough. Finally, just giving in to the inevitable, you said with more confidence than you had, “No worries. Keep going.”

He lifted his head to look at you, his face reflecting your own, and that there were many worries, but you couldn’t stand seeing him in pain again. Each time it happened, it seemed to be worse, like he’d just been shot or stabbed in the gut. 

Getting one leg propped on the back of the couch, you raised your hips and whispered, “Please… keep going.”

Jungkook still seemed unsure, but he pulled his hand back and slipped another finger inside you. Already this was more action than you’d had in a while, and it was with someone who you had only dreamed about doing this with, which only made it worse. Before you could spiral down the tunnel of ‘why like this’, you realized your eyes were closed. 

Opening them to see Jungkook’s half-lidded eyes locked on your face was overwhelming. With his lips parted and his cheeks flushed, it was so much better than your imagination could ever muster. 

“This okay?” he asked his voice barely above a whisper. 

You thought for a moment, knowing that he was asking if you were okay and not if what he was doing to you was satisfactory. Deciding to not be completely delusional about the situation, you said, “Yeah…” but then you added, “Very okay. You aren’t gonna break me.”

The half-smile on his face was smug as he pulled his fingers out and used them to circle your clit. You moaned and arched your back as he said under his breath, “Wow….”

You were immediately self-conscious, but he hadn’t stopped. His slick fingers sliding over your clit felt so good, better than your own ever had. You were getting close, but before you could tell him, he filled you again, this time with three fingers. 

Breathing hard, you searched his eyes as he asked, “You like it?”

Scared to speak, you nodded. You didn’t trust your mouth anymore and for good reason. While you nodded, you wanted to tell him that you loved how his fingers felt inside you, that you wanted to cum on them and then suck them clean. Now was not the time for that. 

Jungkook repositioned, able to fuck you with his fingers while he circled your clit with his thumb. He was watching you intently now, and as you were fighting back the urge to tell him the innumerable indecent things that were running through your head, you remembered why this was happening. 

“More,” was all you could get out at first. 

Tilting his head, Jungkook asked, “I mean, fisting could be—”

“No, shithead, you need to do more,” you cut him off and saw the panic flash across his face. 

Jungkook sat up, and you were on your knees, pulling at his shirt. This was more for you, but not your weird crush on him. You didn’t want to be the only one naked, plus seeing him shirtless would be fun. He was having fun, why couldn’t you?

“Goddamn,” you said in awe once Jungkook’s shirt was gone but got back on track. As you were sinking to the floor, you said, “Pretty sure as long as we keep…. going, you’ll be okay.”

You started to unbutton his jeans when his hands were on covering yours. Glaring up at him, you asked, “What?”

“I just….” his words faltered, and he couldn’t look at you. 

Your shoulders dropped, and you knew that it wouldn’t be long before he was racked with pain again. Dire situations required drastic measures, so you grabbed the bulge in his jeans and said, “You were contemplating fisting me like a minute ago. Now is not the time to be coy.”

He looked scared again and nodded, then said in a weak voice, “I was thinking we could do something else….”

Already panicking that he would start screaming in agony any second now, you didn’t have time to process his request and agreed, “Sure, what do you want to do?”

Jungkook’s eyes dropped to between your legs for a split second before he started to speak, but you didn’t have time for it. Back on his lap, you took one of his hands and placed it between your legs while you tried to get his jeans opened. 

You dared a glance up at him as you said, “I don’t know how aware you’ve been, but if you wait too long you are going to be sorry.”

“It’s hard to think,” he said, and you panicked. 

“Fuck,” you muttered, then asked, knowing he’d already be a little loopy from how things had been going, “What do you want to do to me, Jungkook?”

That dopey smile was back as he replied, “Taste you.”

You took the hand from between your legs, isolated one of his fingers, and sucked on it. His eyelids fluttered, then he was back. Beyond a point of checking to see who wanted to do what or what was okay, you asked, “How bad do you want to go down on me?”

Seeing the confusion shift so dramatically to lust on Jungkook’s face was all you needed to die happy. You cocked an eyebrow before you leaned close, running your tongue along the shell of his ear before you whispered, “Make me cum.”

You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped you as he pushed you onto your back, then you realized he was between your legs and shirtless, and the thing that had stunned you when he first took his shirt off was all you could see. You had had an idea that he was in at least decent shape, and you wouldn’t have cared if it was better than that, but that’s not what caught your attention: Jungkook was covered in tattoos. 

Seeing the ones on his arms had only cemented the idea that he wasn’t attainable, and that had been okay. Now that you could clearly see the extent of them along with his piercings, you knew that this was going to be the only time you got to see them. Assuming you both survived whatever was going on. 

As he craned his neck to look up at you, it was almost more than you could handle, then he grinned and lowered his head. Jungkook pressed his lips between your breasts before he started moving lower. It was hard to focus on any one thing. The way his shoulders and arms flexed, the tattoos, his eyes, it was all too much. 

Placing his hands on your thighs and gently pushing them open, he was still maintaining eye contact with you as he asked, “You okay?”

And like that, you were back in the moment and reminded of what you were supposed to be doing. You shook your head to attempt to clear your thoughts, then said, “You’re talking too much.”

Jungkook cocked an eyebrow, then hooked his arms around your thighs and pulled you close, “So are you.” Then he ran his tongue from your entrance to your clit and back again. 

With one hand gripping the couch, the other was on the back of Jungkook’s head. You watched as he smirked before flicking his tongue back and forth over your clit, and you couldn’t stop yourself, “Cute, too bad I still haven’t cum yet.”

He growled. Jungkook growled between your legs. You could have been the one cursed and dropped dead in as much pain as there was and still die with a smile on your face after that. It was impossible to know, but every time before this, when he’d gone a bit further, he had a moment of lucidity. Your heart ached at the thought that the real him had done that. 

His open-mouthed kissing was sweet, and it felt nice, but it wasn’t going to do what he set out for, and you didn’t want him to fail. That would only add insult to injury. You took a few deep breaths as you stared up at your ceiling, then lifted your head and unleashed, “Fill my cunt and focus on my clit with that pretty mouth or quit wasting my time.” 

“Sonuvabitch,” Jungkook muttered against your pussy. He stared up at you for a moment before he smirked, then did as you instructed. 

Feeling him work three fingers inside you like he had before had you moaning, “Fuck, just like that.”

He isolated your clit with his lips as he rolled his tongue back and forth over it, and you could hear him moaning. Despite how good this felt, you still had an annoying pang of worry that this wouldn’t be enough. Just in case, you said as clearly as you could, “Play with my ass.”

Jungkook sighed, and you felt his hand twist and saw his elbow sticking out from under your thigh as you felt pressure on your asshole. Weaving your fingers into his hair, you focused on keeping your legs open as he pushed you over the edge. Your back arched, and you felt the unfamiliar sensation of someone else making you cum as Jungkook slowly pushed his thumb into your ass. 

You relaxed as you felt your heart racing. Jungkook hadn’t stopped, simply slowed what he was doing. Lifting his head, he said, “You’re going to need more than one to make us even.”

“How are you feeling?” you asked, scared of what he might say. 

His face fell, and you knew you had to keep going. Sitting up and lifting his head by the chin, you said, “How about I show you what I can do with my mouth.”

He seemed genuinely conflicted, and that would give you even more to cherish once this was over. You snapped your fingers, “Not to be rude, but I don’t think getting me off is going to fix this.”

Jungkook was still not speaking, and you knew that it wouldn’t be long. This constant desperation was starting to get to you, and you said, “You go down on me, and that’s fine, but I can’t reciprocate. That doesn’t make sense.”

“This isn’t how this is supposed to happen!” Jungkook shouted before slapping a hand that still had your cum on it over his mouth. 

You blinked a few times before scooting back on the couch. Now you needed to verify that whatever had been hurting him was real. What he’d just said that had both of you spooked confirmed it, but something about this seemed off. It was like he was hiding something, but that didn’t make sense either. 

As soon as Jungkook sat, he doubled over and collapsed on the floor. His face was frozen in a silent scream, and every muscle in his body was rigid and spasming. Had you not seen it yourself, you wouldn’t have believed it. 

Shoving at the table that was in the way, you got on top of him and jerked at his jeans until they were past his thighs. Pulling them off and dropping them, Jungkook understood and was pushing his boxer briefs down. You took them too, then got on top of him. 

His cock sandwiched between his stomach and your cunt, Jungkook sighed and rubbed his eyes as he tried to catch his breath and calm down. You gave him as much time as you could to pull himself together before you started to move. 

Dropping his arms, he chuckled weakly before looking at you, “I’m gonna die.”

“I have a plan,” you said, grinding against him, “But you need to trust me.”

He nodded, “Of course, whatever you need.”

Cumming made it a little easier to think, but this was still distracting; as dire as it was, you couldn’t help it. You couldn’t look at him as you spoke, needing to focus on what your hips were doing as you explained, “In a few minutes, we will need to switch again. I need you to read this note in the book and see if you can figure it out while… you… um… fuckmefrombehind.”

You rushed the last part, but he still heard you and asked, “What?”

“Read the book while you fuck me,” you said before pinching one of his nipples, “You’re the language nerd, fucking do it.”

Jungkook didn’t react to what you’d done other than grin and said in the same dreamy voice you were starting to fear, “You’re hot when your mean.”

“Fuck,” you hissed, panicking that it was already too late. 

His hands were on your hips, and he was laughing, “I’m fine, sorry, it was just me.”

Tilting your head, you asked, “What do you mean ‘it was just you’?”

“You’re hot when your mean,” he said sheepishly before adding, “And if you pinch me again….” Jungkook slapped your ass and winked at you as he finished, “... well, you’d have to be stupid enough to do it again to find out.”

“Are you fucking serious right now?” you asked, irritated that he had the audacity to do this bullshit flirting at a time like this. You were pretty sure you had done something to start this, but he thought now was a good time for this. When all he did was shrug and guide your hips, you took a deep breath, “Anyway… you good with the plan?”

“Not a fan of the position,” he said, then quickly added, “But yeah, reading while… yeah, sounds like… fun?”

Rolling your eyes, you stood and got off him to get in position next to the table with the book still open to the right page. That had to be a miracle. Before you could get to your knees, he grabbed your arm. Jungkook was on his feet too and turned you to face him. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” you sighed as you looked into the glazed eyes of curse-riddled Jungkook. 

He pulled you closer and growled, “Mine.”

Automatically you tried to jerk your arm away, and he snapped. His hand curled into a fist at the back of your head as he walked you back until you were up against the wall. Lifting one of your legs as he muttered, “Mine… only mine….” Then he filled you in one thrust. 

You almost fell as Jungkook regained control, stuck balancing on one leg, as he said, “This doesn’t feel like the plan.”

“It isn’t!” you shouted. 

“Fuck,” he whispered before asking, “What happened?”

You let your head fall back against the wall as you explained, “Same bullshit that has been happening every fifteen minutes, sometimes less.”

“Fuuuck,” he moaned, and you felt him roll his hips. 

“Don’t you dare get distracted,” you warned, but it was too late. 

As he pulled out, you were lost too. This was something you hadn’t experienced in longer than you cared to think about, and only a few times at that. Any previous sexual encounter you had seemed laughable as Jungkook pulled out until just the head of his cock was still inside you. 

“You are so wet,” he said, sounding impressed before he asked, “I haven’t been too rough or anything?”

“No,” you said, hoping you didn’t sound as desperate as you felt. 

Slowly filling you again, then grinding against you, he moaned your name. You covered your face with your hands, fully freaking out and trying not to fall apart. You’d been through too much at this point to have that break you. 

Yelping when you felt him shift, your hands flew to his shoulders, and you stared into his eyes as he lifted your other leg. He leaned close then, resting his forehead against yours as he said between panting breaths, “I think… I have… a plan.”

All you could do was nod before he pulled back and thrust into you, his mouth dropping open as he moaned loudly. In a rush, you asked, “What’syourplan?”

Pulling back again, he shrugged before bottoming out, then said in a ragged voice, “Grab the book.”

It was at that point you realized he was getting to his knees. Panicked and getting fucked was not the best combination, but you were able to lean and grab the book. Righting yourself, with your finger sandwiched between the pages, you held it against your chest, “What nex…fuuuuuck.”

He had your legs hooked over his forearms, and his hands were holding you up and cupping your ass. Instead of letting you speak or continuing with his plan, Jungkook started to lazily thrust. You clutched the book to your chest as you could barely remember that you couldn’t drop it, let alone not lose the spot you were marking with only a finger. 

“Sorry,” he muttered, “I can focus, I promise.”

“Good for you,” you panted, then checked the book before asking, “What’s next?”

Jungkook smiled at you and asked, “You want the good news or bad news?”

“If you do that whispering bullshit again, I will leave you here to die,” you threatened, even though both of you knew that you hadn’t meant it. 

Chuckling as he dropped his head back and then took a deep breath, he muttered, “This isn’t how….” You couldn’t hear the rest of what he had said to himself before he lifted his head and glanced down. He rolled his hips, sighed, and said, “I’m going to carry you to your bed.”

All you did was look at him suspiciously, and he added, “Place the book by your head, and I can do what I need to so I can read, duh.” A final thrust, and he was asking, “Ready?”

“I could just stand up—ohmygod!” you shouted as he stood and tossed you slightly in his arms to adjust his hold, and you clamped your free hand around his neck. Being thrown around like this was alarming under normal circumstances, and you knew that you had to show how you felt on your face as he grinned at you. 

With the book pressed between your bodies, he chuckled, “Want to see something cool?”

Before you could reply, he moved you instead of his hips, then let yours fall back against him. You ducked your head and started cursing under your breath as he laughed, “Told you it was cool. Where’s your room?”

“How are you fine?!” you shout into his chest. 

All you got was a shrug as he started to walk like he wasn’t carrying you. Too much impossible shit had happened today, and you didn’t know if you were ever going to recover from it as he walked down the hall and opened a door, “Nope, bathroom.”

“Across the hall,” you offer, defeated. 

Opening your bedroom door, you can’t even bring yourself to be embarrassed that you’d left your vibrator on your bed. That had been your reason for being late in the first place. Being around Jungkook was always easier if you released any excess energy. 

As Jungkook knelt on your bed, he bent at the waist to gently lower you, then said, “This could come in handy.” Holding your vibrator and waving it at you, “Thoughts?”

“Read!” you yelled, then realized you weren’t actually being the one affected by some weird sex curse. You felt awful as his face fell, but before you could say anything, he doubled over again.

“Fuuuuck,” he groaned, his body curling over yours. 

Panic hit you because he was balls deep at this point, and it wasn’t enough. Realizing you could fix everything else later, you wrapped your arms around him and tried to move as you said, “Fuck me…. Jungkook, c’mon, fuck me.”

His hips stuttered then he started to move. A few seconds later and he was panting as the muscles in his body started to relax, and he asked, “Where’s the book?”

Propping himself up on his elbows as you opened the book and set it next to your head, all the while his hips snapped. You were torn between watching his face as he read and what he was doing between your legs. 

“Fuck,” he said under his breath. 

You were confused, “What?”

He flipped the book closed, planting his hands next to your shoulders before shouting, “Fuck!”

“Tell me. I can help—”

His fist landed a few inches from you, then again as he continued to shout, “Fuck! Fuck! No!”

Without a thought, you grabbed his face and pulled him down. Your lips against his, neither of you moved for a moment before he pulled away. His lips were barely an inch from yours, and as much as you didn’t want to, you couldn’t keep doing this without at least telling him how you felt. If he was really going to die, then he needed to know that he hadn’t made you do anything. 

Your face contorted, eyes squeezed shut so tight you saw stars, and you whispered, “It’s okay, it’s going to be okay. You didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to, I promise.”

“Don’t,” Jungkook whimpered. 

You pressed on, “I like you so much, it fucking hurts.”

Jungkook stilled but didn’t pull away, he didn’t breathe, and you kept going as tears started to escape, “This is my fault. I’m so sorry, I read something, and it did this to you because of my stupid feelings.”

“Wait—what?” he asked, but you couldn’t look. 

“I can’t read that shit,” you babbled, wishing you could cover your face, “And neither can you, and your gonna die, and it’s all my fault—hmph!”

Your eyes snap open as Jungkook kisses you and thrusts deep into you. To say you are confused, disoriented, and even thoroughly bamboozled wouldn’t fully encompass what you were feeling. 

Lifting himself and searching your eyes, Jungkook asked, “You really mean that?”

“Which part?” you ask as you study his face. 

“You like me so much it hurts?” he explained as a smug smile spread across his face. When all you did was glare at him, he gathered your wrists and pinned them above your head, “You are going to be mad—” You started to shout, but he was able to keep your arms pinned with one hand while the other covered your mouth, and he continued, “Yeah, I know, but if you actually read that, then this was totally your fault.”

You had never been that pissed before as you bellowed from under his hand, “What?!”

“Uh, yeah, So I read that the first time you showed me,” he said, thrusting randomly as he spoke, “Back in the library.”

All you could do was glare at him, and he kept talking, “I didn’t think it was real. I thought it was my appendix or something, but… you’re gonna be so mad.”

You were struggling under him, but he had you completely immobilized. Leaning close as he shushed you, he said in an apologetic tone, “I’ll tell you, but you gotta not be mad. You didn’t believe this shit either, remember?”

Breathing hard, you tried to think, and it was really hard because he was still fucking you, albeit poorly at this point. You knew that he was right, but he should have told you he had read it long before this. Nodding, you hoped that he would actually explain, but you planned to act like everything was fine regardless. Because if he didn’t explain, you were going to take this out on him with your bedroom hammer (a hammer kept at the bedside in case of intruders, totally normal).

“Calm?” he asked hopefully. You muttered behind his hand, and slowly he pulled it away, “Didn’t understand you, sorry.”

“I am as calm as I can be,” you said in a brittle voice, trying to keep it together, “Now explain why you didn’t say anything sooner. Now.”

“Right,” he said, wincing as he rolled his hips, “So…. the thing you read is a curse.” You jerked your arms when he didn’t continue, and in his panic, he blurted, “I had to confess!”

You froze under him as your mind reeled. Seeing that you appeared calm, he continued, “And you said all that, so I wanted to ask if you were serious or if it was just because I might die….”

“Let go of my wrists and find out how serious I am, Jungkook,” your voice was eerily calm. 

Both his hands on your wrists, Jungkook shook his head, “Nope, I like you too, probably liked you for longer.” Then he let out a weird laugh that sounded almost like a bark and said, “Not cursed anymore….” his voice trailed off as you clenched your jaw, and he finished weakly, “Yay….”

“Fuuuuuuck,” he groaned, collapsing on top of you and releasing your wrists. 

You felt bad, but for the first few seconds, you thought he deserved it. Instead of gloating while he spasmed on top of you, you offered, “You sure you confessed? Because if you had, this wouldn’t be happening to you right now.”

Jungkook took a gulping breath before his hands were cupping your cheeks, and he gasped, “I love you,” then collapsed on top of you with a satisfying groan. 

Blinking at your bedroom ceiling, you wondered if he was dead. Yeah, he was breathing and making little noises, plus his dick was twitching every few seconds inside you, but he could be dead. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled, “I’m so sorry.”

You shrugged. As mad as you had been, that last burst of pain from the curse had satisfied the righteous indignation that had been taking over your mind. Patting him on the back, you said, “So… you wanna watch Detective Pokemon or….”

“Sleeeeeep,” his voice came from next to you. 

Then, as if the day couldn’t get any fucking worse, you were gripped with a new panic. Scrambling to get out from under Jugnkook and get dressed, you checked the time and hoped you’d be able to make it back in time. 

Jungkook had flopped onto his side but had started to push himself up as he asked, “What’s wro—”

“The books!” you shouted before you ran out of the room. 

His eyes went wide. The only thing worse than dying from some curse was stealing from the library. Grabbing the book next to him, he shouted, “Wait! You forgot one, and I can call Jimin! How are you so fast?!”

“You can call him?” you asked, your jacket half on as Jungkook walked out of your room naked.

Nodding, Jungkook grabbed his phone out of his jeans on the floor, “Shit, he is not happy.” He put his phone to his face and smiled at you, “Let’s get dinner after.”

Glaring at him, he turned away as he started to talk to Jimin. It would take you a while to get over this, but like everything else between you and Jungkook was like he said: mutual destruction. It wouldn’t make sense if being together was easy and wouldn’t be as much fun.

---

tag game! (music ver.)

Rules: Make a new post and spell out your URL with song titles, then tag as many people as there are letters in your URL

Thanks for tagging me, @shina913!

My name is the worst for this, but let's give it a go. Sorry I'm late!

*********

K - Keep Your Head Up - Ben Howard

M - Matilda - Harry Styles

P - PS5 - TXT

A - Adult - Sasha Alex Sloan

C - Crosses - Jose Gonzalez

Tagging: here's the thing, I'm so terrible at interacting with people because I get stupid shy, so if you want to do this, take this as me tagging you.

---

Oh gosh- you asked for it…

Let’s just say I think the drunk driver in OCs accident was herself and she was drunk for reasons related to children, but that’s all I say!!!. 🫢🫢🫢🫢 I really hope I’m wrong.

But thank you for the well wishes! I’m much better! Pesky kids bring home every sickness imaginable!

Hope you are doing well and thank you for this beautiful and gut wrenching story!

Our Time | JJK (Three)

Summary: After an accident and being in a coma for three months, you finally wake. But the last nine years of your life have been completely erased. You rely on none other than your best friend, Jungkook, to help regain your memories and yourself. But what happens when the truth of your missing time starts unraveling and it isn’t all it’s made out to be?

Pairing: Jungkook x Fem Reader (Detective!Jk x Graphic Designer!OC) side pairing: Seokjin x Reader

Genre: crime au, fluff, heavy angst, smut, romance, darker themes, amnesia au. Best friends to ???

Word Count: 12.8k

Warnings: swearing, frustrations of amnesia, mentions of sex dream, mentions of alcohol

a/n: an important chapter 🤭 please let me know what you think! Send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat :]

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous --- Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are aware that everyone has something like a telltale tic that gives them away when they lie. Body language speaks louder than we think. Whole conversations happen with just the body alone. Arguments, comfort, affection, sex and even a fist to the face. The body speaks even when our mouths refuse. 

You’ve been told all your life that when you lie you always avoid eye contact and shrug awkwardly. Even with knowing that information, you still do it. Because your body speaks for you. Just like how you’ve told Jungkook for years that when he lies he always, without realization, touches or tugs at the skin of his neck while he speaks. His body moves on its own to speak without him having to do it himself. 

Of course there are times you don’t catch it. Heat of the moment, you can’t always observe every little detail and pick up on someone’s body language. But there are times when you do.

Jungkook has been quiet with you since he practically dragged you out of his apartment. No matter how gently he pulled you away from that place, you know when you’re not welcomed somewhere. The drive to your house is only five minutes—if that—but it feels like an eternity of dreaded silence. But his body is speaking. And it’s asking you not to ask any questions. 

It’s too bad that don’t have the patience for that. 

Having patience has never been a trait you’ve had and you doubt that’s changed in nine years either. 

“Jungkook.” You say his name as softly as you can but he still flinches, knuckles turning white from his grip on the steering wheel.

He lightly clears his throat before glancing your way, though his eyes never meet yours. “What’s up?” 

“Do you…” You keep your gaze on him, determined to get at least some answers to what you just saw. “Do you really live there?”

Jungkook’s grip stays the same, his body not tensing more nor tensing less. He expected this question. He keeps his eyes on the road as he answers you, “Yeah.” 

Truth.

“Oh.” You nod slowly, his answer almost throwing you off guard. You didn’t really plan what to say if he answered with ‘yes’. “I’m surprised.” You say honestly, “It barely looks lived in.” 

You watch Jungkook carefully but he stays the same. Tense, expectant, worried. 

You keep going, “Ah, but you are mostly having meals with me at my house so I guess that makes sense. You’re more at my place than yours, huh?” You tilt your head cutely, giving him the indication that you’re trying to lighten the mood and make him more comfortable. 

It works. Your eyes go to his hands and you see how his grip loosens and he’s nodding his head, though it looks hesitant. “Yeah, exactly.” He tells you but his eyes stay on the road still.

You nod, smile appearing on your face. “Exactly.” You repeat. 

He relaxes more as he turns into your neighborhood and he finally glances at you, eyes on yours for the first time since the apartment and he actually gives you a timid smile. 

You’ll take it. For now. But your curiosity is only growing. You know so much is being kept from you and it feels deeper than you first assumed. Jungkook is proving that. You have questions but you’ll have to be smart about how to get your answers.

“Hey,” You start conversation again, gently speaking once more and thankfully, Jungkook doesn’t flinch this time. He only turns his head to look at you for a second, raising his brows before his eyes go back to the road ahead. “Why don’t we still go to the park for ice cream?”

“Oh?” He looks a little surprised. You wonder if he’s surprised because you’re letting this entire apartment thing go. “You want to?”

“Mhm.” You lean back in the seat, legs stretching in front of you. “I read doing as many things as possible could help with this amnesia thing.” You didn’t actually read that but it sounds believable. “Let’s go or what?” You just want him to relax and smile again. 

Jungkook is quiet for a moment, his teeth lazily chewing his lips before he nods. “Yeah, that sounds good.” And then he releases a long breath and you swear you can see his nerves releasing as well. 

You study him for a moment longer, mind whirling in questions and assumptions. But you won’t allow yourself to come to any conclusions.

Not yet.

~

“I can’t believe I’m not friends with Jaewon anymore. I really thought we would be tight forever.” You say right before licking your double scoop ice cream. “Did we have a falling out?”

Jungkook chuckles, “Not at all. He got a girlfriend, moved to France and I think he’s been married for a while. I know they have two kids together.”

“Jaewon has children?!” You look at Jungkook, expressing your disbelief. “I remember when he and I went around looking for these adorable stickers that came with some snack to finish his impressive collection and,” You pause to lick your ice cream again. “He found only one cake left at the same time as these two kids. They were clearly wanting the stickers too. So I said, ‘hey why don’t we just give it to them?’ you know, because they’re just little kids. But he looked me dead in the eye and said ‘fuck them kids.’ And now he’s a father.” You snort, “Truly amazing.”

Jungkook laughs with you, “Isn’t it?”

“I’ll have to stalk him on Instagram when I remember.” You say while mindlessly licking your ice cream again before you remember another old friend. “What about Seri? Are we still friends with her?”

“Seri?” Jungkook tries to hide a peculiar smile. “Were you ever really friends with her?”

“I mean, kind of?” You shrug. “I’m guessing we aren’t close then?”

“y/n,” Jungkook hides his teasing smile behind his ice cream cone. “You never liked her.”

“What? Yes I do. She just annoyed me sometimes.” You quietly huff out, looking defensive.

“Why is that?”

“You know why,” You roll your eyes, bumping into his side. “Sometimes she took her crush on you too far. Like, it’s cool that she likes you—well, liked—but sometimes she made it her entire personality.”

“Uh huh.”

“I’m serious! She is great other than that.”

“Uh huh.”

“Okay, wouldn’t you get annoyed too? I remember one time I was sick and instead of asking me if I was okay she asked if you were free to hang out then?!” 

Jungkook laughs at this, head thrown back before he shakes it. “That’s hilarious.”

“Sure.” You look displeased. “She has other good qualities though.” 

“Oh, y/n, y/n, y/n.” Jungkook puts a hand on your shoulder and he spills a little secret. “It’s okay, you don’t need to pretend. One time you admitted to me how you truly feel about her.”

You stop walking and he stops too, blinking at him in surprise. “I did?”

“Mhm,” He drops his hand and starts walking again, urging you to follow. “Years ago.”

“Oh.” You nod your head, feet moving again. “In that case, yeah, she also chewed with her mouth open all the freaking time. She talked way too much during movies and not to mention, she tried hooking me up with her brother! And we all knew he was trash.”

“Wait, Seri tried hooking you up with her brother?! He is literally in jail now.” Jungkook looks peeved, “You never told me that. Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug. “I think I planned on it. But wait, why is he in jail?”

“He’s a fucking creep.” Jungkook says, annoyed. “He paid for prostitution, got mixed up in drugs…honestly, the list goes on.” 

“Well, not surprised.” 

“None of us were.” Jungkook agrees, “But anyway, back to Seri.”

“You know she told me that you two made out at Misuk’s 22nd birthday party. I always meant to ask you about it.” You mention this as easygoing as possible. “So did you guys? If so, you definitely made her dreams come—”

“—You definitely did ask me about this,” Jungkook cuts you off, his tone is lighthearted. “Much later, but yeah, you asked.”

“Oh.”

He glances at you and smiles, “I was never interested in Seri. You know me, I didn’t hook up with anyone I wasn’t seriously interested in.”

“I guess.” Your eyes trail across the park, landing on a pond nearby. “Oh! Let’s go over there.” You point at the small body of water before continuing your conversation, “Anyway, what’s Seri up to now?”

“No clue. I don’t follow her on anything.” He hums, “But do you remember her friend Mijoo?”

“Mijoo…wait, the girl who was dating the guy that Subin is into? Wait, I mean was into since she clearly isn’t anymore. You know, with a whole marriage coming up.” 

“Yeah!” Jungkook’s fingers wrap around your wrist to lead you to the pond, “You like this side of the pond better.” He tells you as he guides to the other side where some trees are. “Anyway, Mijoo ended up marrying that guy. But the point is, she works at the company you work at. You two aren’t close but I think you were acquaintances before you started working from home.”

“Oh.” You nod in understanding, “That’s cool!”

Jungkook is offering information about your life. Maybe because he believes it’s harmless.

You two stroll through tall grass that sways left to right, completely abandoning the concrete path. The sun is setting now, the sky a mix of pinks and purples while the sun is a deep, glowing orange. You and Jungkook finish off your ice creams before getting closer to the water.

“It’s pretty, right?” Jungkook stares out over the calm water. “We can see the sun set here.”

“Do we come here often? It kind of feels familiar.” You admit to him, heart picking up but you can’t place why.

Jungkook doesn’t tear his eyes off the sky or the water, his mind figuring out an answer when he settles for, “Sometimes.”

Truth.

“Do you…” You focus on the feeling in your chest. You can’t tell if it’s discomfort or if it just feels unknown. “Do you like it here?” You ask, voice quieter than before. You aren’t sure why you even asked that, really.

Jungkook’s chest stops moving. Like he is suddenly holding his breath and it doesn’t go unseen by you. “I don’t know.” He finally answers. Tongue pushing against his cheek and you know, like usual, it means he doesn’t intend to elaborate. 

“Then—”

Suddenly, Jungkook chuckles to himself. “—By the way, when you were like 27 you got us kicked out of a bar.”

“Huh?” You stare at him, his eyes still on the water. “Why did I get us kicked out?” And why is he bringing it up?

“Some random guy tried to fight me.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal. “I didn’t even notice that he had beef with me. Anyway, you noticed.” He cracks a smile. “And you tried to fight him in my honor or something.”

You stare at him, bewildered. “No way.”

“I’m serious,” He turns his head to face you, big smile growing on his lips. “You hated the way he talked to me, I guess. And before I knew it you were pushing him and claiming he was going to hit me.” He starts cracking up. “I had no idea, seriously.”

“Wow, I am so cool.” You nod subtly, “Best friend of the century.”

Jungkook’s smile goes from big and wide to soft and shy. “You are.” Then he rolls his eyes. “But the guy was friends with the staff so they kicked us out instead of him.”

“Of course.” You roll your eyes too, giggling. 

You realize he isn’t just telling you things he believes would be harmless. No, that’s not it. He’s telling you things to compensate for the fact he’s not really telling you anything. He’s feeding you stories to distract from his own story. The one you’re more curious about and you know he knows that.

You both share a moment looking out at the pond. Water as calm and still as can be. The complete opposite of whatever is going on with your heart. There’s something about this place that feels so familiar but you can’t place it and it drives you crazy.

You only see the top half of the sun now, the bottom half dipped into the horizon and the sky is lacking as many colors as a dark and deep blue starts taking over and a few stars start to shine.

“This looks like the perfect place to share secrets.” The words spill mindlessly from your mouth before you feel your entire body go as still as the water. 

‘Doesn’t this place make you want to share secrets?’ ‘Oh? What secret should I share with you?’ ‘Something juicy.’ ‘How about the first time I—’ 

“y/n?” Jungkook’s voice interrupts your thoughts. “y/n…” His hand comes to your shoulder and you feel his worried gaze on you. But you can’t focus on that.

You’re trying to focus on breathing again.

What was that?

Sunset. Another sunset. Water. Ducks. Rain. Sunshine. You. Jungkook. Tree. 

You try to make sense of what you’re seeing in your head. The voices. Your voice. Jungkook’s voice. You and him. Here. 

You stare at the water, blinking fast now as you try to make sense of the images in your head. Suddenly, you’re breathing. But you’re breathing too much.

“Hey,” Jungkook steps in front of you, both hands on your shoulders. You find his eyes and you find comfort immediately. 

Was that your imagination? Did you remember something? Did you brain make that up? You swear that felt real…felt like it’s happened.

“J-Jungkook.” You feel the panic set in. Your lips tingle and your hands are growing sweaty. “I think I kind of…” You pause, mouth going so dry it feels impossible to speak. You urge yourself to calm down but you only feel anxious. This feels new—brand new—unknown and scary. 

“Hey, hey.” Jungkook rubs his fingers into your shoulders, “Okay, it’s okay.” He remains calm, his voice smooth and steady but the concern is evident in his eyes. “I’m here.”

You nod your head quickly, trying to let him know you understand but you feel lightheaded. “Please hug me.” You request almost silently. “Plea—”

Jungkook brings you close to him, your body melting against his. You inhale him as you breathe and his scent automatically gives you a sense of comfort but almost instantly it feels like ten different images start shooting through your brain. All hugs with Jungkook. All ten images are different scenarios of Jungkook’s arms wrapped around you. Even some you recognize…like the hug he gave you the day he thanked you for coming to his police academy graduation. And one hug you don’t recognize at all.

Overwhelmed, you push Jungkook away.

“Sorry, I just…” You mumble, eyes darting around the park. “I think I know this place.”

Jungkook tries his hardest not to frown but he does. “You’ve been here a lot.” He says, almost nervously. “I thought it would be a place to…” He stops, eyes falling to his empty hands. “There’s a lot of memories here so I thought—”

“—Are some of those memories not good?” You ask him, trying to keep your voice calm.

“Not every memory that lives lost in your head is a good one.” He says, his voice just as calm. “But I am here with you for every single one.” He lifts his eyes back to you. “I promise.”

For the first time, you don’t want to avoid a memory because it could be overwhelming. You’re suddenly wanting to stay away because you’re starting to gather that not everything is rainbows and sunshine. Not just your life but other’s lives as well. Your best friend for instance.

“Hey,” Jungkook walks closer to you again, his hands finding your hands. His fingers playing with your fingers and the touch feels like how you yearn for. You don’t remember it ever feeling this way. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He says quietly, his voice only for you. “There are so many good things running around in your brain and I can’t wait for you to know them.”

You might be curious about a million things right now. But 24 year old you, with a huge crush on this man before you, has something else to be curious about.

What exactly is your relationship with Jeon Jungkook? Because this feels like something you know, you just don’t know it yet.

~

You know it has to be around 9pm by now. The sun has long set and the night sky is dark and cloudy but it feels nice. Jungkook parks in front of your house and you know his intention is to just drop you off because he doesn’t make a move to turn off the engine or take his seatbelt off. Usually it would be fine—going home by yourself for the night—but you imagine your best friend returning to his apartment and the thought makes your heart pinch.

“Want to stay the night?” You throw out the idea with obvious enthusiasm. “It’s Friday!”

“Stay the night?” He repeats your question quietly, eyes looking ahead. 

“Yeah.” You finally reach to unbuckle the seat belt that feels tight against your chest. “I don’t really want to hang out by myself. I’m still wide awake.” You try to give a solid reason. “You don’t want to keep being with me?”

Jungkook’s head immediately turns in your direction and his eyes are big and guilty on you. “No, no.” He shakes his head now, “That’s not…of course,” He pauses, gulping down his spit before continuing. “Of course I’d still love to be with you, y/n.” He tells you, eyes still looking guilty. “Is that what you want?”

You feel it’s a bit easier to breathe. Because the seatbelt is no longer caging you in? Or because he still wants to be with you? Either way, you’re content. “Yeah.” You say, nodding in the direction of your house. “Let’s go inside and have tea or something. We can watch a movie.”

Jungkook nods slowly, his fingers messing with the buckle of the seatbelt before he’s getting out of his own restraint. “Okay.” And then he’s turning off the car.

You both walk to your front door in silence, side by side and you feel a mix of emotions swirling inside your belly. You cringe at yourself and laugh internally because why does it feel like the kind of nerves you have after a first date? 

You walk slowly and so does he. He’s right next to you and you feel fucking nervous. And you know what doesn’t help? When his knuckles barely brush against yours on fucking accident and you both quickly bring your hands to yourselves. How strange. How awkward. But also, how interesting.

Once inside your home, you head to the kitchen to make some tea. Jungkook accompanies you but he’s only sitting at the counter, fingers laced on top as he stares down at his hands in silence. Since waking up from the coma, you have felt a strong, lingering sadness inside of Jungkook but lately, especially after today, you feel it’s only gotten stronger.

You blame yourself, of course. He’s your best friend and you know with everything that has happened that he’s taken it hard. You don’t blame him, you have lost nine years of your important friendship with him and you imagine that must be tough for him to live with. But what really worries you is that he lives alone in an apartment that feels like the furthest thing from a ‘home’ and he isn’t able to talk to you about it. Is he afraid he would overwhelm you?

“Here.” You slide a cup of tea across the granite countertop. “It’s hot, though.”

“Thanks.” He murmurs, eyes lifting to yours and you wish you could make the apparent sadness in them go away. 

You decide to lighten the mood with a small, teasing grin. “See? I can do things for you too!”

Jungkook’s big eyes only look more sad as he responds, “You always do things for me, y/n.”

“Ah really?” You keep your gaze on him, grin falling into a tender smile. “Like what? What’s something that I’ve done for you that I have no idea?”

Jungkook cracks a half smile, “You’re trying to get things out of me, huh?”

You respond with a smirk, “Tell me something harmless, Jungkook.” 

Jungkook hums out cutely, eyes narrowing before he reaches for the cup of tea and blowing on it, eyes locking with yours, taking his sweet time as you wait. 

“Oh, come on.” You place your elbows to the counter and lean your chin into your palms, “I can handle it.” 

“Okay.” He says before taking a small sip of the tea. “I was working really late one night…on a really important case.” Jungkook stares down at the cup of tea in his hands before setting it back down. A certain look flashes across his face but he shakes it off. “I was so stressed and you showed up out of nowhere. I swear, the only times Jimin smiled at work is when you’d show up.” He rolls his eyes at this, “But anyway, you showed up with takeout and homemade cookies. And you hung out with me for a while to kind of,” He pauses to think about it. “I don’t know, I think you just wanted to distract me from the stress for a while before I got back into work.”

“Homemade cookies?” You tilt your head, “Since when do I bake?”

He chuckles, “You got pretty good at baking.”

“Oh wow.”

“Anyway, I remember when I thought I finally got a good idea on how to crack the particular case and I didn’t even have to tell you anything.” He bites down onto his bottom lip, perhaps suppressing a smile. “I swear you saw the look on my face and you knew immediately. You left me to it and I got the furthest I had ever gotten. Anyway, I swear I wouldn’t have without you showing up that night to kind of get me out of my head so I could have fresh thoughts, I guess.”

“Wow, I’m amazing. I’m like your support detective.” You soften, dopey smile growing on your lips. “I should have become one too.” You say, obviously joking.

“Well, you’d be good at it.” He tells you, fingers wrapping around the warm tea cup again. “You’re the whole reason I wanted to become a detective, anyway.”

Your eyebrows climb up your forehead in genuine shock, “W-What?”

“Oh, right.” Jungkook’s eyes stay on the tea. “I didn’t tell you that until years later, huh?”

 You straighten your posture and point at yourself, “I’m the reason?”

Jungkook’s eyes stay lingering on the cup in his hands, “Yeah.”

“Can I ask why?”

He finally tears his eyes off the cup and looks at you with a smile, “I’d expect you to.”

You stare at him in complete awe, your dopey smile returning to your face. “Okay then—”

Suddenly, your phone is ringing in your pocket. You’re quick to slide it out and see who is calling you and you glance at Jungkook in apology when you show him the screen to show Misuk is calling. 

“Hello?” You answer on the fifth ring.

“Hey!” Misuk sings out, “Sorry it’s kind of late but Subin and I were thinking of having breakfast at that café she likes. Want to come? Like 10ish?”

“Oh,” You look at Jungkook again, his attention on the tea. “Yeah, that sounds nice. Can Jungkook come too?” You ask, innocence in your voice but Jungkook looks up at you immediately, worry in his eyes before he’s shaking his head. 

“Umm,” Misuk is quiet on the other end for a moment before continuing, “I was thinking it could be a girls thing?”

“Since when did we only do girls stuff and exclude—”

“It’s okay.” Jungkook whispers to you, head still shaking. 

“Fine,” You keep your eyes on him, “Girls thing it is.”

“It’ll be fun! The three of us!” Misuk tells you, “I’ll text when I’m on the way in the morning. See you then.”

“Okay, see you. Bye.” You lower the phone from your ear, pressing the ‘end’ button before placing your phone on the counter. “Sorry, it’s a girls thing.”

“It’s okay!” Jungkook gives you a trying smile. “You should spend time, just you three. They’ve missed you, too.”

“Yeah,” You nod at him. “I guess you’re right.”

“Should we watch a movie now?” Jungkook stands from the stool, taking his cup of tea with him. 

“Ugh, another movie to spark a memory, huh?” You watch as he makes his way to the living room, your feet dragging behind him. 

Jungkook turns only for a moment, “No. An old movie we both love. A movie you already know.”

You can guess why, but the pressure to not try hard to remember something you’re supposed to know suddenly makes you feel so much lighter. And Jungkook probably knows you’ve had enough for the day. “Perfect.” You answer, “That sounds perfect.”

~~~

Waking up drenched in sweat in not how you expected to greet this Saturday morning’s sun. You lay here, eyes wide and on the ceiling trying your hardest to replay the dream you just had. You aren’t laying here trying your best to rewatch a nightmare. No, that’s not why you woke up with sweat gathered at your hairline and a racing heartbeat. You’re trying so hard to replay every little detail of this dream because it was hot. Steamy, sexy hot. Not hot as in heat and that’s why you’re sweating. 

You close your eyes, images of the dream swarming behind your eyelids. Hands. Hands all over you. Lips. Lips all over you. Tongue. Tongue all over you. Your eyes spring open again, your chest still heaving from the dream as you try to dive back into it. But the dream is fading. And it’s fading fast. Suddenly, you can’t remember any of the details anymore. And it pisses you off. 

After showering and getting ready for your breakfast hang out with the girls, you quietly slip out of your bedroom. You walk through the hall and you stop dead in your tracks when you spot Jungkook. He’s innocently sleeping on your sofa, mouth slightly hung open as soft snores escape. He looks peaceful. You swallow hard, your fingers smoothing down your blouse as you keep watching him. 

How would Jungkook feel knowing you just had a very steamy sex dream about him? His hands, his lips, his tongue. Lucky for him—and lucky for you—you don’t remember too much about it anymore. But you know the dream happened. But as much as you wish you could remember every little detail and play it in your mind on repeat to fulfill some delusional fantasy of yours…you’re actually glad that it can’t distract you for the rest of the day.

Because it fucking would.

You check the time on your phone.

9:32am

You need to head out. You take one last look at sleeping Jungkook before turning on your heels to grab your purse, shoes and keys to your car. You have yet to drive your own vehicle so it’ll feel a bit fun—brand new car to you—and Dr. Lee says you can drive short distances now.

You pull into the same café that Subin brought you to that one time, eyes on the lookout for a parking spot but it is Saturday morning and it’s looking busy. Finally, after driving in circles, you see someone pulling out and you rush to take the free spot. 

Inside the café is just as busy as the parking lot. Tons of full tables, servers running around in panic about some wrong order and the hostess remaining calm as customers complain about the long wait. Luckily, Subin and Misuk got here before you and they already have a table. Somewhere near the back again, by the bathrooms. 

You spot Subin, waving her hands around with a huge smile on her face. You return her smile while walking closer to the table that her and Misuk are at. 

But you run into someone—literally.

“Oh sorry!” You apologize quickly, “I—” You stop speaking when the same feeling as last time comes back to haunt you. You glance down at the name tag again.

Nabi.

“Oh…no, no.” She shakes her head, smile on her lips. “It’s okay. Really…it’s okay…” She tells you, her eyes suddenly looking everywhere but you. Her voice is soft and kind. And so fucking familiar. 

“You’re the one who served us last time.” You tell her, trying your best to make eye contact. “You probably don’t remember—”

“—Ah, no. I remember.” Nabi finally looks at you and there is undeniable kindness in her eyes as well but there is also something else. She glances around again, her eyes going to other tables, to the windows, behind her, behind you…before she finally looks at you again. You see concern in her eyes. “Have a lovely meal.” She says quickly, bowing her head before walking off. 

Weird.

You shake off the familiar feeling before approaching the table your friends are at.

“Hey!” You call out, still a feet few away before you’re pulling a free chair out and sitting down. “This place is poppin’, huh?” You say while glancing around. 

“Yeah.” Subin agrees right away, “Crazy, right? It’s only been open for like, what? Two years probably? I saw a Tik Tok about it and had to check it out.”

“Not even going to ask about whatever Tik Tok is.” You mumble, eyes going down to the menu in your hands.

“I told you about it!” Subin whines, “You need to download it!”

“Eh,” You shrug. “33 year old me is off social media apparently. I’m trying to respect her wishes.” You joke, eyes scanning the menu when you see an omelet that catches your eye.

“And how is 24 year old you liking that?” Misuk chuckles, “Are you surviving?”

“Somehow I am.” You laugh as well before your mind thinks of something else…”Hey…do you guys know why I deleted my social media?” You look up from your menu, “I didn’t think much of it but,” You look between your two friends but they don’t have any answers written on their faces. “Well, Jungkook mentioned it was maybe around six months ago…and here’s the crazy thing…I ran into this guy who said I randomly ghosted him around the same time!” 

Misuk’s brows pinch together, “A guy?” She then glances at Subin who looks as confused as her.

“Yeah!” You nod quickly, “I thought maybe he was an ex. So I started connecting the dots! Maybe we broke up and I wanted to lay low after the breakup? And that’s why I del—”

“—A breakup?” Subin asks, her eyes going between you and Misuk. “I don’t think you were…dating anyone…” She says slowly, carefully. Eyes darting between you and Misuk and you can see how she’s silently asking Misuk to help out. And as usual, Misuk doesn’t get the hint.

“Maybe I just didn’t want to make a big deal about it?” You question more to yourself. “Maybe I was trying to be lowkey…”

“Did you tell Jungkook?” Misuk finally contributes. “Did he know who the guy was?”

“Huh?” You finally set the menu down to the table. “No, he wasn’t with me. And when I mentioned it, he had no idea either.” 

“Well, I feel just as clueless.” Subin admits softly. “Maybe the guy got the wrong girl.”

“No,” You look down, teeth nibbling on your lips. “I think he knew me.”

“Well, maybe it just isn’t important.” Misuk decides to say, her eyes going back to the menu. “What’s important is you regaining memories that probably matter more.”

“Workin’ on it, boss.” You say blandly, with the roll of your eyes. 

“Hey,” Misuk’s tone grows softer. “I know.”

“Anyway,” You shake your head and plaster a smile on your face. “Subin, your pictures were this week, right?”

And immediately, Subin’s face brightens. You love how in love she looks. “Yes! Oh my god, I have a few that the photographer sent me. Let me show you!” She is quickly grabbing her phone and finding the photos. 

You take her phone and start scrolling through a few images. Your heart melts at the sight…Subin looks gorgeous in the arms of her soon to be husband. You don’t even remember his name. And his face in these photos definitely don’t ring a bell.  “You look amazing.” You breathe out, “And so happy.”

“Thanks.” Subin blushes at the compliment, “Garam is the love of my life. And I can’t believe we waited this long to get married and what not!”

“Well, we all know y/n doesn’t believe in wasting any time when she knows something is right.” Misuk chuckles, “Remember when she switched her major the second she realized she loved digital art more than environmental science?”

“Oh yeah,” Subin covers her mouth while she giggles. “She didn’t even have experience in it, right? But she looked us in the eyes and said, ‘I’m going to do this as my career.’ And the next day went to her advisor and made the switch.”

“What can I say?” You smile, feeling proud. “I knew it in my gut that it was what I was meant to do.”  

“I also remember that Subin and I were so against it.” Misuk shakes her head, still smiling. “We asked you to at least think about it!”

“I swear maybe she would have thought about it but Jungkook was totally on her side.” Subin sighs out, “He took one look at what she created on her tablet and said—”

“Isn’t this what you’re meant to do?” You say, almost dreamily as you remember your best friend’s words. “He even went with me when I went to talk to my advisor. He waited outside the door and when I was finished he took me drinking to celebrate.”

“Went drinking?” Misuk avoids your eyes, “Not surprised.” 

“Misuk.” Subin says quietly before brightening again. “How are things with Jungkook? He’s taking care of you?”

“He’s the best.”

“The best.” Misuk scoffs.

“Misuk.” Subin says her name louder this time. “It’s—”

“—I don’t know what went wrong with you and Jungkook, Misuk.” You cut in, face falling more serious. “But Jungkook is my person and I hate seeing how you clearly have beef with him. He’s being civil so why can’t you be?”

An inevitable silence falls on the table. As well as inevitable tension. 

You take a deep breath, trying to calm your fiery nerves. “Just tell me what happened already. I can’t stand—”

“No.” Misuk says, voice calm but there is something cold to it. “Not yet, anyway.”

“Why?” 

She looks at Subin who is, as usual, speaking with her eyes. “I just can’t.” Misuk tells you, finally looking your way. “Nothing would make sense anyway. Let’s just drop it. I’m sorry.”

You scoff. And you scoff loudly. “Okay.” You feel peeved but you don’t want to ruin the breakfast. “I’m going to use the bathroom really quickly.” You begin standing from your chair and point towards the wall behind you three where the bathrooms are.

Neither of them answer with words. 

You walk into the hallway and immediately lean against the wall, sighing out quietly as you try to remain calm. You hate not knowing what’s going—in regards to so many things. Your ears perk up when you can hear Subin and Misuk’s voices from behind the wall.

“You need to go easier on him, Misuk…” You hear Subin’s quiet voice. “This has been hard on everyone. But especially—”

“—Good.” You hear Misuk cut her off bitterly. “I hope he’s fucking suffering.”

Your entire face twists into a look of confusion…what the hell is happening?

“You don’t mean that.” Subin says. “He’s your friend too.”

“Why are you always defending him?”

“I’m not. But we don’t even really know—”

“Drop it, Subin. It gets us nowhere.” 

And then there’s silence. Like their own inevitable tension rises around the table now too. 

You finally tear yourself away from the wall and go inside the restroom. More questions and even less answers. Great.

~

It’s already late afternoon when you return home, tired eyes land on Jungkook who is on the phone while sitting on your sofa. You raise a hand to lazily wave at him and he nods at you while he continues to speak on the phone.

“I know.” He talks into the phone quietly, “You swear he has—Okay, okay. Got it. I can be there in 20.” Jungkook doesn’t even wait for the other person to respond before he’s ending the call. “Hey.” He stands, slipping his phone in his pocket and smiling at you. “How was time with the girls?”

You eye him suspiciously. It feels like how you’re seeing everyone nowadays. “Fine.” You look down at your feet as you take your shoes off. “What have you been up to?”

“Just relaxing.” He tells you, “Working on some stuff too.” He glances at his open laptop that sits on your sofa as well. “But I actually got to head out for a while.”

“Sure.” You respond, feeling and sounding detached. You walk into the living room but before you can sit down, Jungkook’s fingers wrap around your wrist and you struggle not to look into his eyes and crumble. 

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook questions you softly. His fingers still wrapped around your wrist and you swear you feel the heat seep into your skin, like the feeling of first dipping into a hot bubble bath. “You okay? Tired? How’s your head?”

You don’t mean to pull away so quickly, freeing your wrist without much thought. “I’m fine.” 

Jungkook’s brows pull together, his eyes going to his fingers when he examines how empty his hand is now. “O…kay.” His eyes go back to you, “Are you sure?” “No.” You say honestly. “But it’s whatever.”

“It’s not whatever.” Jungkook steps closer to you, his eyes searching yours for answers. “Talk to me, y/n.” He doesn’t rip his gaze off your eyes. He’s staring at you intently and it feels so confusing. “Please…talk to me.”

You feel sucked into the way he’s looking at you. You see his concern so clearly. You see so many thoughts and feelings taking over his eyes and you can read them but some don’t make sense. Not now. You force yourself to look away.

“I said I’m fine.” You sit on the couch, hand going to the top of his laptop and you shut it yourself. “Aren’t you leaving?” 

Jungkook stands here, unsure of what to do. You can see that. You can see how he struggles with how to handle this. You stare at nothing. Hoping there isn’t any readable expression on your face. But you guess there is.

“Y/n…” Jungkook says your name. And suddenly you wish you forgot that too. 

“What?” You finally snap at him, eyes landing on his figure. But you gulp, guilt settling in your chest when you see how he winces. You close your eyes for just a moment, collecting yourself even though you don’t even want to. “I’m so—”

“—Don’t be sorry.” He cuts you off, tone gentle. “It’s okay if you can’t talk to me but is there anything I could do? To help you?”

You open your eyes again, staring at him. You just stare. Expression hardening because you can’t help it at this point. But Jungkook takes no offense. Instead he tries to smile for you and he takes a seat right next to you, his leg pushed against yours.

“What is it that you need?” His fingers go to your chin, barely touching it as he guides your face to tilt in his direction. “Tell me what you need.” He softly demands, eyes boring into yours and you feel trapped in his trance again.

“You.” You reveal without meaning to. You never intended for that to be your answer. But your mouth forced the word out and you’re left here wondering why that felt so natural. 

Natural for both of you.

Because Jungkook nods in understanding, his fingers brushing against your cheek now and you decide now is the time to crumble. Crumble because his touch. And crumble because you are best friends so answering that the thing you need is him could also still be platonic. You release a long, tired breath before your head falls to his shoulder. “I’m stressed.” You decide to admit.

“I know.” His other arm comes around your back, hand gripping your side. “I’m sorry this is so hard for you. I really don’t know what to do anymore.” He is the one with admissions now. “I see how hard this is for you and I don’t know what’s better or what’s worse…but these are still doctor’s orders, y/n. You—”

“—I know.” You squeeze your eyes shut, “But what if my memories never return? Am I just going to be a stranger to my own life forever? Your life forever?”

Silence fills the space between you both. 

Maybe it’s not something either of you want to have answers to. 

“I never want to be a stranger to you.” He finally responds, “But let’s give some things some time.”

You sigh out, lifting your head from his shoulder before you look up at him. “Can you promise me something?”

Jungkook gives you a determined nod before speaking, “I can promise you anything.”

“Do you promise this is the best for me? Me not knowing so much?” Your eyes are pleading and you swear you see Jungkook’s heart in his eyes and you see how it breaks into pieces.

“I promise you that this is best for you.” He tells you, no regret anywhere heard in his words. Truth. “So promise me…that you’ll always trust me.”

“Okay.”

“No,” He shakes his head, troubled smile on his face. “Say it.”

“I promise.” You tell him but his troubled smile only grows as his eyes turn somber.

“You will probably break that promise later.” He whispers, “I—”

His phone starts vibrating in his pocket. Another phone call. “Sorry,” He slides the device out and you see Jimin’s name. “I got to go.” He sighs, standing from the sofa now. “But I’ll come over after and we’ll do something fun, okay?”

You nod, “Okay. Umm,”

“What is it?” He asks you.

“Nothing, nothing.” You try to shake his last words out of your head. Why would he say that? “Be safe and come back to me later.”

Jungkook’s eyes expand at your words before he cracks a smile. “I always do.”

~

You fixed yourself something light and easy for dinner. Surprisingly, you had an appetite to eat. You could probably thank the four hour nap you took earlier and the two different sessions you had in your bed where your fingers met the sensitive parts of your body, having yourself come undone and although you feel like some tension has been released…it wasn’t totally satisfying. 

You’ll blame the dream that you can’t even remember for the ache between your legs that still lingers.

You’re sitting at the dining room table, plate growing emptier as you take one last bite of your late dinner. It’s around 8:30pm and Jungkook still isn’t back. You assume he’s off doing something with Jimin. His ex-work partner that you realize he isn’t necessarily fond of. But they’re clearly working together on something…despite the fact that Jungkook isn’t a detective anymore.

Of course this piques your interest. You’re dying of curiosity. You have an idea…but…

You sigh out, pushing the chair back and ignoring the way the wood screeches against your tiled kitchen floors. Once standing, you grab your plate and the glass of water and head towards the kitchen sink to run the hot water.

A couple minutes pass, your hand lazily squeezing the sponge as you scrub the plate clean, your eyes zoned out and focusing on nothing at all. You continue to scrub the plate in soapy circles before you suddenly see something in your head. Eyes narrowing at nothing now as you try to focus on the image that your brain has randomly come up with. The same lake and boats from your dream. You’re just recalling an old dream. You scoff to yourself, you wish you could remember your sex dream.

You laugh a little before it dies on your lips when you see another image that makes no sense. 

A boat, floating at the dock. It isn’t the same boat from your dream…a different—

You drop the plate to the sink when your ears ring in someone’s scream. 

What the fuck?

You look around quickly, but you’re met with silence. You wipe your hands on the towel that rests next to the sink, quickly drying them before rushing out of your kitchen and going to your front door.

You know you heard someone scream.

You swing the door open, stepping outside, your head whipping in every direction.

But the neighborhood looks unbothered, the stars in the sky look unbothered, the blades of grass look unbothered. You see a few houses down, an older couple sitting on their porch, quietly talking and laughing to themselves. Completely unbothered.

Someone screamed, right? You heard it, right? 

You remain outside for a few more moments but the night carries on like nothing happened.

You didn’t imagine the scream, right? You know you heard it. You were standing at your kitchen sink, washing dishes, remembering a dream about boats on the lake water…when someone screamed. That wasn’t part of your dream, right? But it sounded so real. 

Giving up, you decide to go back inside your house. But a strange, eerie feeling sticks to your skin and you want nothing more than to wash it off. A shower it is. Maybe Jungkook will be back by the time you’re done and you can forget about all the things your brain is forcing onto you—things that don’t make any sense at all.

It’s around 9:30pm now when you leave your bedroom, feet taking you into the living room so you can relax on your amazing sofa…you’re shocked now that you hated it at first glance. It’s definitely the best couch you’ve ever had the pleasure of owning. A dull pain resides on the other side of your skull, pushing against your forehead in rage. You wish the headaches would start to ease but it seems lately, they’ve only gotten worse.

You decide to go to the kitchen first and take your night dose of medications, realizing it’s time you can take them. Hopefully it’ll help. It’s been a long day and you can’t wait to totally unwind and grow invested in some TV show so you don’t have to think about your own life. And you can’t wait for Jungkook to get home so he can do that with you. He looks stressed too and he probably also needs to focus on some fictional problems instead of his own.

Once you’re cozy on your sofa, wrapped in the blanket Jungkook always uses, you check your phone for any messages and you feel yourself grow a little warmer when you do have one.

Jungkook 9:38pm

Hey I’m on my way to your house 👍🏼 Want me to bring you anything?

You smile, typing your reply.

y/n 9:44pm

no no just you🐸

You click your phone off and shake your head, laughing at yourself. All it takes for you to feel better is Jungkook. You’re so whipped, probably. 

It only takes Jungkook 24 minutes exactly to walk in through your door since his text. Not that you were paying attention to the time but of course you were. You missed him.

“You’re not sleepy yet?” Jungkook is bent over, looking at you through the fringe that falls over his eyes as he takes his shoes off. “I figured you’d be knocked out on the couch by the time I got here and then oh no, I’d have to sleep in the bed.” He jokes, making his way over to you.

“I took a long nap.” You say, eyes on the TV. “So I’m not very sleepy now.”

Jungkook’s lips curve into a soft smile, “Did the nap help make you feel a little better?”

You finally glance at him, “Yeah. Also,” You nod towards the hallway, “You can sleep in a bed. You just choose not to.”

Jungkook’s smile fades, his eyes following yours, a solemn expression falling onto his face when he looks over to the hallway. “No, that’s okay.” He murmurs. “I like the couch.” And then he takes a seat right next to you.

“Does that mean you’re sleeping over again tonight?” 

He blinks at you for a few seconds before he’s smiling sheepishly. “Sorry, I didn’t even think about that.”

You laugh, “I’d rather you be here, anyway. Your apartment is too far for my liking. Doesn’t feel like we’re neighbors enough.” 

Jungkook’s eyes are so soft on you. You hate it. You love it. You want more of it. You want less of it. 

“It feels a little colder out tonight.” He says, fingers tugging at the blanket that’s wrapped around you. “Mind sharing?”

You chuckle, unwrapping the blanket from yourself to share with your best friend. “Do you remember when we rented that cabin in college but you and I wanted the outdoors experience so we built a tent like 10 feet away from the cabin?” 

“You only packed one sleeping bag.” He deadpans. 

“You could have gone inside and got blankets if you really cared that much!” You throw back and he shakes his head in an instant.

“Then it wouldn’t have been the total outdoorsy camping experience!” He retorts, “It would have defeated the whole point of us building that tiny tent. That you claimed you knew how to build because of a YouTube tutorial.”

“And I swear I did! But we had no service! So I couldn’t look at the video…” You pout but Jungkook starts laughing.

“And then we had to actually read the instructions. Imagine that.” He rolls his eyes, playful smirk on his lips. “Well, I did. You wanted to give up.”

“Anyway,” You nudge his shoulder with yours, both of you completely covered in this blanket now. “This reminds me of that time.”

“Because we shared the sleeping bag?” He asks you innocently. 

You nod, “Yeah. I thought we were going to freeze to death at night but I learned really quickly how freaking hot your body is.”

“Oh, thank you.” He teases.

You snort, “Not what I meant.”

“It’s not like you don’t think that too, though.” He says, eyes on the TV screen now. 

You whip your head to look at him, his eyes totally avoiding yours as he watches whatever you have pulled up on Netflix. He’s got such a teasing grin splitting his face in half. You stare at him in disbelief before you start laughing, “Wow. Is that something I told you and I have zero memory of it? And don’t lie, once I get all my memories back, I’ll know.” 

“You might be surprised at what stuff you might remember.” He continues to tease you and it feels…strange yet familiar. More of your suspicions seem to be checking out. 

“Is that so?” You decide to play along, “What kinds of things will I remember? You know, that are in relation to you thinking you have a hot body?”

“I never said it’s what I thought.” He bites down onto his bottom lip, another smirk being poorly concealed. 

You scoff, heat creeping up the back of your neck. “It’s not what I think either.”

“Mhm.” He finally looks at you, “You sure?” 

No, you aren’t sure. Well, you are sure that he’s hot. Yes, of course. But you aren’t sure what is going on here. More confusion wraps around you both just like this blanket. This doesn’t feel how you always remembered. No, this feels different. But it feels familiar. Like it isn’t totally brand new but it is. For you. But you’re wondering if this is brand new to him.

Yes, you have your suspicions. And little by little, you will uncover the truth. But for now, you’re not going to jump the gun. No conclusions yet.

“Hey,” You finally look away from him, eyes going back to the TV as well. “Are you sure we never went to another lake?”

“Lake?” Jungkook’s attention is mostly on the show now. “What lake?”

“No…I mean, was the only time we ever went to a lake was during that trip to the cabin?”

“Yes?” He finally glances at you, confusion in his eyes. “Why?”

You shrug, “I don’t know. I feel like I was remembering that dream I told you about where I saw your tattoo. That same lake…the boats.” 

“It was a dream, right?”

You think about it for a moment, eyes losing focus. “Yeah, you’re right.” But you aren’t so sure. 

“I told my parents and your parents that we would visit not next weekend but the weekend after. They’re very excited.” Jungkook changes the subject, his tone lighthearted. “It’ll be so nice to be in Busan for the weekend.”

“I agree.” You say, your eyes widening when you remember something your mom told you. “Did you know Mrs. Jung remarried? Apparently to a guy half her age!” 

Jungkook starts laughing, eyes crinkling in the process. “Yes and did you hear the best part?” He asks, eyes on you. “Apparently the guy she married has the same last name as her ex-husband so she didn’t even have to change it.” 

“Wow, lucky her.” You chuckle, “I don’t remember my mom saying that part.” 

“It’s hilarious. I thought the guy was her son when I first saw them walking out of her house! But imagine my shock when he kissed her. On the lips. I still didn’t register it wasn’t her son so you can probably guess my confusion and level of disturbance.” Jungkook shudders when he recalls the memory. “Mrs. Jung is loaded though, so I guess he’s the lucky one.”

“Jungkook!” You slap his thigh, “Money isn’t everything! Maybe he’s deeply in love with her!”

“I never said he wasn’t! I’m just saying, he got lucky. Sugar mama and all that.” He snickers when you gape at him. “What? I’d love having a woman pay for all my shit.”

“You’re a gold digger now?” You cock a brow at him. “I’ll have to keep that in mind when I’m being your wing woman at bars again.”

“You’re the worst wing woman.” He rolls his eyes, “Every girl that would get interested in me, you’d scare them away.”

“I did not!” 

“Yeah, you would.” 

“No.”

“Really?” He leans away from you, eyes narrowed as he smirks. “You don’t remember when a very pretty girl tried hitting it off with me but you totally ruined it when you—”

“—I thought she was bothering you. Don’t get me started on this again. She had so many red flags, you cannot be serious. I was helping you out.”

“I didn’t care about her red flags! I was just looking to get laid.” 

“I thought you didn’t hook up with anyone you weren’t seriously interested in?” 

Jungkook’s eyes widen and he starts talking nonsense, clearly getting playfully defensive. “Do I need to remind you why I was out in the first place?” He challenges you. “Because if I remember correctly, you told me I should go out and find someone! You told me I needed to get laid because I was annoying you with how stressed I was with my training after the academy. It was during my first year in the investigation department.”

“Oh yeah, you were kind of unbearable.” You snort, “But come on, she was such bad news. And don’t make me remind you of Haesoo. I had every right to feel protective over you!”

“Oh god, Haesoo…” He cringes in his spot, “Okay, she was something else.”

“She was the worst.” You say with a straight face. “I’m your best friend and she openly admitted to me ‘girl to girl’” You mock with the roll of your eyes, “That she was using you for sex. I had to tell her that you’re a person. But she said, ‘he’s hot, all men are trash so I’m not hurting anyone’ I was so fucking pissed.”

“Yes, yes. I remember.” Jungkook smiles at you fondly. “My hero.”

“I am your hero, you’re goddamn right! You didn’t see through her evil ways but I did. I wanted to put her in a headlock.”

“Somehow I’d love to see that.” He grins teasingly at you. “It’s not like I was serious about her.”

“You totally liked her.”

“Okay fine, but only because she did witchcraft on me or something.”

“I’ll accept that answer because I think it’s true.” You say, “But honestly, you got better at standing up for yourself. Haesoo was during your time at the academy, right? You were what? 21? 22?”

“Yeah.”

“You were still pretty shy back then but I think sometime after you graduated and you started your first 6 months at the police station—before you did your one year in the investigation department—you kind of…grew up a lot. Stronger, I guess. Not as scared of confrontation.”

“Well,” Jungkook leans back into the sofa, “I guess in my years of being your friend, I finally learned something.” He chuckles.

“Thank god for that, huh?” You lean back onto the sofa as well, your body shifting to properly face him. “Who’s the worst guy I ever dated?”

“Hmm,” Jungkook looks up at the ceiling, thinking about it. “Dusik for sure.”

“What?! He was so nice!”

“I didn’t like him.”

“You never told me you didn’t like him!”

“Yes I did!”

“When—”

“—Oh.” Jungkook bites down onto his lip, “I guess I never admitted it until way later. You don’t remember…”

“Give me a reason.”

“I just didn’t like him.”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t.”

“Why?”

“Seriously? You sound like a talking bird that only knows one word.”

“Why?”

He raises a brow at you, showing you he’s not enthused. “Stop.”

“Why?”

“Because he was probably the closest thing you had to a real relationship.” Jungkook purses his lips, eyes going to his hands. “And I just didn’t think he was good enough for you.”

Your mouth falls open, “Seriously?” 

“Seriously.” He responds childishly. 

“You didn’t approve of him because…you just sound jealous.” You snort, not taking this too seriously but Jungkook isn’t laughing.

“I was jealous of him.” He admits before the panic settles in his eyes. “Not in a weird way. I just hated that he was stealing you from me.”

“He didn’t steal—”

“—According to you, this was our biggest fight.” He reminds you, “You forgot about plans with me three times because you were with him. I wouldn’t have minded as much if you would have properly canceled. But apparently I was forgettable to you.” He sulks in his spot, an adorable pout on his lips but you can see that he’s still a little bitter about the whole thing.

“I know. I’m sorry. But hey, you got your revenge! You didn’t talk to me for four days. I hated those four days so much.”

“I hated it too.” He finally smiles, “At the time, those four days were like, the worst days ever. I wish I could go back. To when that was the worst thing.” He mumbles softly, smile still barely on his lips. 

“Hey,” You lean into him, eyes on his as you poke his cheek with your finger. “You also know you’re not forgettable to me, right? I literally have amnesia and my brain is still full of you.” 

Jungkook’s smile drops from his lips, eyes on yours with much more intensity as he processes your words. 

You are about to back away from him, a sudden tension growing between your bodies but before you can, Jungkook’s fingers go to your hand, you’re both twisted in one another’s directions. He’s so close. You’re so close. Your gaze drops to his lips when his tongue pokes out to lick them. The heat basically rolls off his skin and warms you up, reminding you of the night you two spent in that tiny tent—not that anything happened…it’s just the warmth, the close proximity. Not to mention, it might have been the first time you had not so innocent thoughts about your best friend.

His fingers leave your hand and you gulp, feeling the sudden absence of his touch but it doesn’t last long…not when his hand rests on the side of your face, fingers behind your ear, thumb brushing your cheek.

“Your brain isn’t full enough of me.” He whispers, eyes still boring into you and once again, you want to crumble. Crumble for a million reasons and right now, you can’t even name one.

“I don’t know if that’s even possible.” The words dribble out slowly. The tension growing, a force that pulls your bodies closer.

You stare up at him, both of your hands sliding up his chest and you feel his heart hammering against it. It’s strong. It’s loud. It’s alive. 

Jungkook is lost. You’re lost. A trance being shared between you both and you know for a fucking fact that this isn’t new to either of you. You have no proof but this moment might be evidence alone. This cannot be the first time you two share a moment like this. You refuse to believe this is a first. 

“Jung—”

“—Did you want to watch something like a movie?” Jungkook’s hand drops from your face, his cheeks flushing as he leans away from you, eyes going back to the TV. 

You feel like someone ripped a rug from beneath your feet. You stare at his side profile, body gone still as you process what just happened. And what is currently happening. 

You laugh internally again. Your hands coming back to your own body and you face the TV as well. “Yeah, a movie sounds good.” 

It seems your brain is playing tricks on you lately. Making you see things. Hear things.

But you cannot be imagining this. No, your brain can’t make you imagine a feeling, can it? 

Your gut is telling you one thing and you’ve always been one to listen to it.

~

Jungkook snuck out early this morning, leaving you a note that said he has some things to take care of but he would be back around dinner time.

You won’t feel annoyed, not today. You’re tired of questioning every little thing and today you just want to not think about all the things you don’t know. Today you just want to be lazy and binge watch an entire series or something. Today you just want to be a normal person. A person who doesn’t have amnesia. 

You made a sandwich for lunch and ate while watching a show. You’re already on episode 5 of Strong Woman Do Bong Soon and you realizing love is real, it has to be, because these two main characters are making you swoon. 

You make dinner as well, eating while continuing the show. You’re not even ashamed to admit you’re on episode 8 now. Meaning, you’ve watched eight hours of this show just today. You check your phone to see the time.

7:02pm

Jungkook still isn’t back and he hasn’t texted. You know you shouldn’t feel worried or anything. But you’re going to call him anyway.

Your heart feels calmer when he answers on the third ring.

“Hey,” You say into the phone. “I was just checking if you were uh, still coming over today.”

“Yeah.” You hear the smile in his voice. “I just came by my place real quick to shower. I’m about to head over though. Sorry, um, my plans ran a little longer than I thought. I should have let you know…”

“No, no, it’s okay.” You say, relief evident in your voice. “Sleep here tonight, too.”

“Okay.” He tells you softly, “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

“Kay, bye.” You hang up the phone, already feeling lighter knowing he’s only five minutes away.

Just like magical clockwork, your front door opens and Jungkook is walking through. He grins at you, slipping his shoes off as he empties his pockets of his things. Wallet, phone and keys being placed on the little table by your entrance.

“Hi.” You sing out, patting the spot next to you on the couch. “I started a show today and I love it!”

“What show?” He asks, walking into the living room, eyes on the TV. “Oh! Strong girl! Yeah, this is your comfort show.” He tells you, plopping down right next to you. “We love it.”

Your mouth falls open in surprise, “I’ve seen it before?!”

Jungkook chuckles, “Yeah. You watch it every year.”

“Oh damn.” You nod to yourself, “I guess I really do love it.”

“Mmmmmm…” Jungkook leans back into the couch, eyes closing. “I’m so tired.”

“You do look a little tired.” You admit, fingers ruffling through his hair and he sighs in contentment.

“I almost fell asleep in the shower.” 

“Don’t tell me you’re already ready for bed? It’s barely 7!”

“Not bed…but what if I take a one hour power nap?” He cracks open one eye to look at you, “Super quick nap that gets me ready for a night full of binge watching the rest of this show?”

“Hmm,” You pull your fingers away from his hair. “Just one hour?”

“Just one hour.” He nods in excitement, “I promise I’ll wake up and hang out with you for the whole night.”

“Okay, deal.” You say, “Only because you do look pretty exhausted”

“You got no idea.” He tells you, “It was…a really long day.”

But he doesn’t elaborate. But you do have an idea what it could be about…

“Can I ask you something?” You blurt, your brain wired to demand answers. 

“Hm?” He sits up from leaning back, eyes focused on you.

“You were with Jimin, right?” You ask him, the words leave your mouth slowly as you gauge his reaction.

“Yeah.” He tells you and you know he’s being honest. But you aren’t done asking questions.

“And…” Your stomach feels uneasy from nerves but you continue, “Is it because…are you trying to…um, trying to figure out who caused my accident? Since it was a hit and run?” 

Jungkook tilts his head, eyes becoming unreadable. 

You reckon it’s a solid assumption. He was a detective after all.

Jungkook’s hand goes to his jaw, eyes going to the ceiling like he’s trying to figure out his answer when slowly you watch as his fingers slide down from his chin to his throat, fingers caressing the skin before he’s softly tugging at his neck and he finally answers, “Yeah.”

“Oh, okay. I figured.” You reply, eyes still on his fingers. “I kind of guessed that’s what you were up to.” 

He drops his hand and offers a timid smile, “Mhm.” 

Your insides are twisting.

“Well, I’ll let you sleep for an hour!” You stand from the sofa, “You better wake up when I tell you to, Jungkook.” You smile now, “I’ll be in the kitchen, think I’m going to make something.”

“Ah, okay.” Jungkook puts his feet up before laying back on the couch, blanket draped over him. “Can you turn the light off too?”

“Yup.” You walk towards the wall and switch the light off. Light from the kitchen still on and you start going towards it. “Have a nice nap.” You say before disappearing into the kitchen, only Jungkook’s distant hum in the background can be heard.

You take a seat on the uncomfortable bar stool and only one thought echoes in your mind.

He lied.

You sit here for like 30 minutes, trying to make sense of his lie. Why would he lie? But if he’s not doing that? Then what is he doing? What exactly has he been getting up to? You know he really was with Jimin. All the phone calls, the texts, the ‘going to take care of some things’. But if it’s not about your accident…then what is it about?

You sigh, feeling defeated because you can’t come up with a logical explanation. 

You don’t want to feel upset about the lie because he asked you to trust him so you will. And he does look utterly exhausted. You feel sorry for him…the state his apartment is in, losing his job, clearly working on something with Jimin. He’s tired. Not to mention, he takes care of you. 

And you want to do something for him. Something that will—that’s right. He did mention something…

You stand from the bar stool, excitement and nerves running through your veins as you rummage through the kitchen. You check every single drawer, cabinet, closet. You even looked in the fridge—desperate times, desperate measures. But nothing. No recipe books anywhere! You quietly go into the living room and search as well, eyes glancing at your knocked out best friend every now and then. Thank goodness he is a heavy sleeper. His snores are honestly louder than your rummaging, though.

There’s no way you don’t own any recipe books…you even remember the ones you had in college. You remember owning some as a 24 year old. So where are they? Jungkook said you got great at baking and he seemed to enjoy your homemade cookies—whichever ones they are. But there is no book around or papers or anything with a recipe on it!

But then a thought hits you. He didn’t…no, why would he? But maybe? You instantly remember the attic. How Jungkook put a bunch of stuff in there to not accidentally overwhelm you with a million things. It’s possible…? It wouldn’t hurt to look, right? You swear you’ll be careful. Eyes looking for recipe books and that’s it!

Alright, you made up your mind. You glance at sleeping, snoring Jungkook again. There’s no way he would wake up anytime soon…he’s completely passed out on your sofa due to exhaustion. You look towards the table by your front door, eyes on his things. His wallet, phone and of course, his keys.

You tip toe over to the entrance, one last glance at Jungkook before swiping the keys off the table. The jingle louder than you anticipated, head snapping in his direction but he only snores louder. You release a breath in relief. You look towards the hallway, a determined look on your face as you walk over there. 

But a look of annoyance quickly falls over your face. Right, it’s an attic. It’s locked. And it’s you know, on the freaking ceiling. You huff out quietly, trying to think of what you can do. Right…there’s a ladder in the guest bedroom closet. But you’re hoping you can do all of this quietly. 

You stuff the keys into your pocket and go inside the bedroom, quickly going into the mostly empty closet when you find the 6ft ladder leaning against the closet wall. You pick it up, thankfully it isn’t very heavy at all and bring it out into the hall, right below the attic door.

You listen for Jungkook’s snores and when you hear them you sigh out. Good. He’s still in deep sleep. You set the ladder up, climbing it quietly, stopping every few seconds to make sure you still hear Jungkook’s snores. Once near the top, you reach for the keys in your pocket. Feeling slightly uneasy being this high up. 

You try to steady yourself, fingers searching for the right key but you have no idea which one it could be. So you begin trying them one by one. Nope, not this one. Nope, not that one. You fiddle through the keys when you spot a small gold one and you decide to try it. You try to get it through the key hole when your shaky fingers fumble the keys and they fucking drop. You feel like you’re losing your balance, heart sinking to the bottom of your stomach. They landed on the metal step right next to your foot. Fucking lucky they didn’t fall to the ground. But damn, it was loud.

You try to calm your breathing.

Your ears paying close attention to every sound around you and a huge lump forms in your throat when you don’t hear the consistent sounds of Jungkook’s snores. 

You’re frozen in your spot. Skin feeling cold but sweaty. Like you’re doing something you’re not supposed to.

After what feels like an eternity your entire body fucking relaxes when Jungkook starts snoring again.

You swear you could laugh and cry at the relief you’re feeling. 

You carefully step down to easily grab the keys again before stepping back up. Your fingers are still shaky but you manage to find that small gold key again and you try to fit it through the keyhole. You try turning it and bam. The door unlocks. 

You wish you could scream in celebration but you remain quiet. 

It’s unlocked.

Feeling giddy, you quickly step down from the ladder and move it to the side. You reach for the long string and pull hard, the door coming down and a wooden staircase follows. You’ve done it. You’ve opened the attic and now you can do as you promised, you can find the recipe books and get the hell out of there before Jungkook even knows you went in.

You take a hesitant first step, glancing once more behind you, his snores soft and consistent before you finally climb the steps and go inside.

It’s dark, dusty and maybe a bit creepy. You reach for your phone, turning on the flashlight as you look around. You find the light switch, turning it on and suddenly the entire attic is glowing in a soft yellow. 

Boxes everywhere. You don’t even know where to begin looking. But the nearest boxes are probably the most promising, right? Your fingers slide over the top of one of the brown boxes before you decide to pry it open. But you aren’t really sure what you’re seeing. A bunch of books, loose papers and random notes. It’s your handwriting. But you don’t know what anything means. So you ignore this box.

You open the next box but there isn’t anything but old clothes in that one.

Next box is a bunch of notebooks.

You groan in frustration, okay maybe this pile wasn’t as promising as you thought so you decide to move on to the other side of the attic. A few boxes that are less dusty than the rest. Okay, maybe this is more promising.

You open the first box you see, fingers lifting each flap open and when your eyes land on the thing lying on the top, your jaw immediately drops. Your heart is thumping more wildly than you’ve ever known, chest tight and stomach dropping completely where all the butterflies reside. You stare at what you’re seeing. In shock? Disbelief? Your hands are still just as shaky as you reach for the thing that rests at the top of this particular box. 

Fingers wrapping around the frame, eyes blinking rapidly as you try to make sense of what you’re seeing. 

Well, you had your suspicions. But not this far. You thought you and Jungkook perhaps maybe hooked up before during these past nine years, or that you did confess to him at some point or you don’t know, but not this. 

You aren’t sure if it’s shock, disbelief or your own selfish happiness. 

You lift the frame up, a smile growing viscously on your lips. “Well, holy shit.” You mutter to yourself. “No fucking way.”

You stare at the framed photo. You and Jungkook, together, in a wedding gown and tux. The year 2016 engraved at the bottom. 

Jungkook isn’t just your best friend.

No, he is also your husband.

~

Next

kiss me and take off your clothes (M)

Note: Bury a friend 3 is still in beta and all of my Hyung line fics are still in draft but I really wanted to post ??? Jungkook sweetie I’m so sorry.

My first attempt at smut so be gentle on me 😔 I’ve always wanted to write an 8th!member reader but not like this partners, lemme know if y’all want more 8th!M Reader.

Pairing: Platonic Jungkook/8thM!Reader, implied Taehyung/Reader, Reader is honestly a slut for ot7 if you squint,

Tags: implied romantic interest, mutual pining, switch!Jungkook, fairly vanilla, slightly kinky towards the end but nothing extreme

Plot: In which Jungkook, the last person you ever expected to be in your bedroom late at night, gives an even more shocking request.

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