What Does Aziraphale Know, And When Does He Know It? Part 1

What does Aziraphale know, and when does he know it? Part 1

Prologue, for those who haven't seen it.

Zira's first encounter with the Metatron in the Final Fifteen Minutes is when the Metatron walks into the bookshop disguised as mild-mannered Derek Jacobi human and interrupts Michael, who is threatening Aziraphale with total obliteration. He insults the archangels, then calls on them to say who he is. Aziraphale at this point -- we get one reaction shot of him -- appears to be in wary wait-and-see (heh) mode.

(Not wholly relevant here, but -- the first to show recognition of the Metatron isn't Crowley or Aziraphale, it's Saraqael, and isn't that interesting. I definitely have a meta in pickle about Saraqael, Heaven's Only Competent Angel.)

The Metatron then asks whether Crowley knows him. Aziraphale finds this intriguing, turning to Crowley with interest. Crowley does the-thing-that's-all-over-the-show-where-he-and-Aziraphale-drop-one-another-clues; rather than say the Metatron's name, he mentions his appearance as "big floating giant head." That's enough for Aziraphale to clue in and spill the beans, with genuine shock that the other angels (except Saraqael, again) echo.

What Aziraphale now knows that he hadn't known:

The Metatron has a human corporation. (Yes, he may have been Enoch-human in the past, but that's not entirely show canon yet; before now, Watsonianly, we've only seen the Big Giant Disembodied Head.)

The Metatron insults archangels. Labor angle here, incidentally: this is a manager insulting his employees in front of their supervisees (Aziraphale, Muriel) and even outsiders (Crowley). Management 101: DO NOT DO THIS, IT IS BAD. Praise in public, critique in private and without insults.

The Metatron and Crowley know one another. (Zero details on when, how, or why.)

The Metatron then dismisses Michael, Uriel, and Saraqael back to Heaven, talking down to them like Mary Poppins to the von Trapp children (seriously, "spit spot"? also, nice s1 callback). He even covertly threatens them! Uriel asks whether they have done anything wrong -- getting caught doing something wrong is fatal to an angel's identity as angel, as Aziraphale's concerned face in a brief reaction shot shows he knows -- and the Metatron only says ominously that that "remains to be seen."

After ordering the archangels off again, he openly hurls an ableist slur at Muriel rather than use their name, while demanding that they stay because "I may need you." This is a hardcore, shocking Villain Moment, y'all. The Metatron is Having A Moment. Pulling back to a Doylist perspective -- Neil freakin' Gaiman isn't going to drop a slur lightly. He's just not. He did it with full intent, and that intent is "the fucking Metatron is ableist trash." Returning to the Watsonian viewpoint, however...

What Aziraphale now knows that he hadn't known:

The Metatron wears scorn like royal vestments. It's pretty basic to how he treats others. (Doylistly: this tracks with both s1 and what we see of him in the recorded meetings that Crowley, Muriel, and Saraqael view. "Oh, don't be so wet!" he snarls at Saraqael, just for starters.)

The Metatron can order archangels around like children, even threaten them with judgment and punishment, and get away with it.

The Metatron doesn't just punch sideways-ish at the archangels, which might be justifiable; the Metatron absolutely punches down with his scorn. And wow, does he ever not pull his punches.

The Metatron thinks he's entitled to use others to serve his own needs.

If Aziraphale hasn't figured out by now that the Metatron abuses his quite substantial and dangerous power, he's not the angel I think he is. (As for Crowley, he's been absolutely leveled -- look at him sprawled out all but flat on Aziraphale's desk chair! He's not really paying attention. Also, per e3 he kind of agrees with the Metatron about Muriel, though he never himself uses ableist language about them.)

The Metatron says "Right," and we see Aziraphale again. Is he happy? He is not. Body held tense and straight, arms at his sides (though he looks about to clasp his hands together in front, a worry sign), face even warier. Seems a reasonable reaction to what he's just seen!

"It's just you and me, Aziraphale, eh?" It's damned blessed bloody well not. Crowley's right there, Muriel's right there, and the Metatron just erased both from consideration. RUDE! "I think we need to have a bit of a chinwag, don't you?" Aziraphale in both words and body would very much rather not, and I can't blame him one bit.

The Metatron then forces a bribe on Aziraphale, in the form of The Coffee That Launched A Thousand Metas. Aziraphale isn't clear on what the Metatron wants of him at this point -- "shall I drink it?" There's a striking parallel here to Crowleian temptations via novel experiences that other meta-ists have pointed out; like those, Aziraphale's reaction is positive ("it's very nice") but unlike them, it's decidedly subdued, scaled way down -- Zira certainly doesn't guzzle the coffee the way he inhaled the ox-rib. The Metatron indicates that getting a positive reaction from Aziraphale is the point ("well, I should jolly well hope so!") and verbally forces Aziraphale out the door for a Crowley-less, Muriel-less discussion.

Aziraphale is... less than enthusiastic, turning toward Crowley -- possibly to accompany him, possibly for a lead on how to handle this. Crowley, still in a state of exhaustion and bogglement, misses the cue. Oh, Crowley. Gargantuan, awful mistake! Totally understandable, of course, but Aziraphale needs a rescue here badly and (for the first time ever?) Crowley doesn't provide one!

Aziraphale's walk toward the bookshop door is diffident, halting. He glances back at the Metatron and Crowley as he goes.

What Aziraphale knows at this point:

The Metatron wants something from him. Just him, not Crowley or Muriel.

Rather than straight-up asking, rather than ordering (as he could perfectly well do), the Metatron is loading the dice with a Crowleyesque bribe/temptation. This is a slight hint (which the Metatron will shortly confirm) that the Metatron knows some things about the Crowley-Aziraphale dynamic.

What Aziraphale likely wants to know at this point:

What the hell the heaven on earth does the Metatron want from him?

And why might he need Muriel?

And we are all Aziraphale -- we all want to know too!

This is more than long enough for a post, so let's post it. Next up: The Chinwag.