katzeniaz - Untitled
Untitled

side blog.

88 posts

. Hes Back (lhs)

── .✦ he’s back (lhs)

 . Hes Back (lhs)
 . Hes Back (lhs)
 . Hes Back (lhs)

pairing: ex bf! heeseung x fem! reader

genre: second chance , exes to lovers , angst , fluff

wc: 4.7k

notes: lowercase intended ! , english is not my first language ! , this is a work of fiction and doesn’t reflect the idols in real life !

mentions: enhypen members

warnings: swearing , vague mention of family issues , mention of verbal abuse , implicit hinting at physical abuse (no detailed descriptions!)

synopsis: you and heeseung met on your first day of freshman year and dated throughout high school. after your graduation, you woke up one day and found out he was gone: he applied for a college in canada, got accepted and left as soon as high school was over. the worst thing? he told his close friends and family, but not you. two years later, heeseung is back for good and your friends are also his friends. is there still time to fix things?

i think i’m having a bit too much fun writing angst.. anyways!!! i’m sorry if there might be some errors, i proofread it but i was eager to put it out, i really like this work!

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saying that your heart was about to burst out of your chest in this exact moment would be a huge understatement. you were shitting yourself.

everything started the night before, when your best friend jongseong suddenly called you at 1 am with a nervous tone in his voice.

“what’s wrong, jay?”

“uhm.. so, i don’t know how to tell you this without possibly freaking you out, so i’m just gonna go for it.” he started to ramble, then he took a deep breath and continued. “heeseung hyung is back. and he’s staying for good.”

your entire body froze, you had to be dreaming. or maybe you had heard him wrong. were you starting to allucinate? there was no way that the event you had been dreading the most was finally happening. were you-

“___? hello? are you still there?” your friend’s concerned voice brought you back to reality.

“y-yeah. uhm, i don’t really know what to say right now.” you quietly replied, still finding it hard to believe.

“i know, i understand. don’t worry.”

“but.. why did you tell me?”

“i felt like you deserved to know.”

among your group of friends, jay has always been the closest one. maybe because you’ve known him the longest, or maybe just because one day fate decided to tie you together with an unbreakable bond.

“and also… me and the others are going to surprise him tomorrow with a small gathering at my house. i know i’m probably asking for too much, but you’re welcome to come. i can pick you up, too.”

“oh..” that was surely unexpected.

“no pressure!” he was quick to add, sensing your stupor. “really, you can totally say no. i understand how hard it must be for you.”

“yeah.. i mean, this is very sudden. are you sure he even wants to see me?” you couldn’t help but let your doubts take over. your mind was swirling with all kinds of thoughts, to the point you almost felt dizzy.

you basically had just discovered that your ex-boyfriend, whom you had dated for almost 4 years and who one day had decided to leave the country without telling you, was now back. and he was planning on staying.

having also the same friends, there was no way you wouldn’t be going to see him around. hell, you were probably going to have to hang out with him as well. unless you decided to leave your friend group, which was totally out of discussion, you guys were basically family.

but most importantly, was heeseung willing to see you and talk to you? i mean, wasn’t he the one to flee the country without contacting you ever again? you knew he was still talking with your friends and his family. you were basically the only one he had decided to completely cut out of his life.

so, before finding out the actual truth, of course you started assuming that you either had done something wrong, or he had just got bored of you. you spent months overanalyzing every single interaction you two had had in the last months of your relationship and you had to admit that you had started to notice a change in heeseung’s behavior.

he had gradually started to become more absent and detached, he would smile and talk way less and it would almost feel like he wasn’t putting as much effort into your relationship as before.

of course you had tried talking to him and asking him if there was something wrong. he had always been a pretty closed off person, with difficulty opening up and sharing his hardships. but year after year, he had started to gradually warm up to the idea of sharing his thoughts with you and you could confidently say that you weren’t having any communication issues anymore. or at least, until the last few months of your relationship.

“trust me, he does. i’m not supposed to tell you this, but he never stopped asking us about you. he cares, he’s always cared about you and he never ever stopped.”

“i’m just really scared, seong. i have mixed feelings, i really don’t know what to think right now.” you deeply sighted, a weight slowly lifting from your chest after saying your concerns out loud.

it was jay’s superpower, being able to make you open up almost without even realizing it. he’s always been great at listening and even better at giving advice. his genuine, honest and wise words have helped you countless times, as well as his selfless acts of service.

“and i get that. look, why don’t you think about it? you can let me know tomorrow morning, okay? like i said, no pressure.” he softly suggested, making you instantly smile at his thoughtfulness.

“okay.. thank you so much, seong.”

“don’t mention it. i’m always here for you, you know that.”

and so there you were, in the passenger seat of jongseong’s car. your leg was rhythmically bouncing up and down and you were nervously fidgeting with your fingers.

of course, jay was quick to notice your tense state and as soon as he parked his car in his driveway, he turned towards you with the most reassuring smile ever.

“___, hey. it’s okay, trust me. i swear everything’s going to be okay, don’t be afraid.” he softly encouraged you, extending a hand towards your arm to softly squeeze it.

once you finally got inside, you instantly greeted your friends. they all were very aware of the situation, so they tried their best to reassure you and distract you until his arrival. jake had been the one in charge of picking heeseung up, so now you were all waiting for the two.

the moment you had dreaded the most in the last two years was finally happening and as soon as you saw his figure enter the house, you could clearly feel like time had frozen around you and everybody else had magically disappeared.

he looked even better than you remembered, his hair was now dyed purple and his features just looked more mature. you noticed that his style had also clearly improved, your eyes falling on his accessories: he now wore a piercing, other than his usual earrings, and a lot of rings on his fingers.

in the meantime, your friends had already jumped on him the second they saw him, playfully hitting him and making him promise to never leave again. throughout the whole exchange, you stayed behind, admiring them from afar with an affectionate smile on your face.

heeseung’s laugh and smile were still as sweet and contagious as before and when your gazes found each other, it was now time for him to freeze in complete shock.

he had no idea you’d be there: he had suspected he was going to see his friends the moment jake picked him up and drove the familiar road towards jay’s house, but nobody had mentioned your name.

to be honest, he hadn’t even remotely contemplated the possibility of seeing you again in a circumstance like this one. he was certain you still hated him and didn’t want to even look once in his way.

but there you were, even giving him a small smile to ease his nerves.

what an idiot, letting go of someone as precious as you. he really didn’t deserve you.

your friends quickly noticed the tension lingering in the air between you two and silently went further down the house to give you some privacy.

“h-hi.” he was the first one to shakily greet you, slowly moving towards you.

“hey..” you muttered back, still unable to fully comprehend that he was in fact in front of you.

“you… look pretty— pretty good! good! pretty.. good?” he quickly tried to cover up his embarrassment by awkwardly laughing it off and rubbing the back of his neck.

but surprisingly you let out a small giggle.

“you look pretty good, too. purple suits you.”

why the hell were you being so nice to him? almost teasing him like the old times? weren’t you mad at him? didn’t you hate him more than anything else in the whole universe?

“thank you—“

a sudden scream, probably coming from sunoo, resonated in the whole place, making you both laugh amused.

some things really never change.

“let’s see what’s going on. before they make a mess like always.” you giggled again, making heeseung’s heart almost melt into a puddle on the floor.

oh, how much he had missed that sweet sound.

the rest of the afternoon was filled with laughter and stories. the group spent the whole time catching up and telling funny anecdotes of the past years and suddenly everything looked like it used to be. back to when everything was easier. back to when everyone was happier.

after dinner, the guys decided to have a sleepover, but since you were the only girl there and didn’t want to intrude on their ‘boys’ night’, you decided to leave early.

“___, let me drive you back.” jay was quick to offer, but you firmly declined.

“no need to. seriously, enjoy your night. i’ll take the bus, no big deal.”

“but it’s dangerous, it’s already dark outside.” sunoo pouted worriedly.

“at least let one of us walk you to the bus stop.” sunghoon suggested, making the others nod.

“heeseung hyung can come with you!” jungwon suddenly let out, with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

the guy’s breath got stuck in his throat and caused him to start chocking on air, while ni-ki, seated next to him, hurriedly patted him on the back, trying his best to stifle his laughter.

you nervously chuckled, sending a death glare toward jungwon, who only smiled wickedly back at you.

“it’s okay, no need to. i can walk myself, you know.”

“n-no!” heeseung’s exclaimed loudly, startling all the people present. realizing his outburst, he bashfully cleared his throat. “i mean, it’s not a problem. i can walk you there.”

he quickly stood up and slowly approached you, making your heart subconsciously beat faster.

how the hell did you end up in this situation? jungwon… that little—

“is it okay with you?” he was now suddenly right in front of you, only a couple feet away, a delicate and worried glint in his eyes, while you stupidly gazed up at him almost in a daze.

“uhm.. yeah. yes, okay.” you nervously nodded, before quickly saying bye to the others and rushing towards the front door.

“hyung?” the boy was suddenly called back by jake and turning around he was met with his serious gaze.

“don’t fuck it up.”

easier said than done, he thought to himself, but still solemnly nodded and went after you.

the walk to the bus stop was initially painfully awkward, you felt so embarrassed that you desperately wished the ground would suddenly open beneath your feet and swallow you whole.

but unfortunately that didn’t happen. instead, heeseung was surprisingly the one to break the silence.

“so.. i was kinda wondering if you.. were still mad at me?”

that definitely caught you off guard.

“w-what?” you whipped your head towards him with wide eyes.

“i’m sorry, it was too sudden. you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. actually, you know what? just forget—“

“heeseung, it’s okay.” you quickly reassured him after pulling yourself back together. his heart probably lost a couple beats after hearing you say his name with that sweet and calm voice of yours. “and to answer your question: no, i’m not mad.”

“yeah, i thought so— wait, what?! really?” he looked at you with wide eyes, making you slightly chuckle at his reaction.

“yeah, i mean.. it’s been what, two years? i’m long over it, don’t worry.” you gave him a small reassuring smile, hoping it would ease his mind at least a little bit.

“but.. don’t you want an explanation anymore? and you deserve an apology, too!”

“i’m serious, heeseung. it’s okay, it’s in the past.”

you stopped in your tracks and turned your whole body towards him, contemplating in your head for a few seconds before actually deciding to extend a hand towards his arm and gently squeeze it.

your action completely threw him off guard for a few seconds, but then he let your hand brush off his arm and softly but firmly grasped your shoulders instead.

“but it still doesn’t sit right with me. why don’t we meet up somewhere tomorrow? i really think you deserve to hear an apology.”

oh boy, he was desperate.

“you don’t have to, though. i told you-“

“yes, i heard you the first time. but I want to make things right. please?”

unfortunately, his stubbornness didn’t change over the years. at this point, you knew there wasn’t much you could do to persuade him. you could only give in.

“fine, let’s meet up.” you breathed out, already mentally questioning your choice. but seeing his expression instantly light up, you couldn’t find it in yourself to change your mind and turn him down.

“thank you, i swear you won’t regret it! if you unblock my number, i’ll text you the details.” he cheekily told you, an hint of amusement in his voice.

“oh, you’re right. i forgot about that..” you bashfully looked down.

“it’s totally fine, to be honest it’s also pretty understandable.”

then you saw your bus making its way toward you, signaling the end of your conversation.

“then.. i’ll see you tomorrow?” he hopefully asked for confirmation, making your heart clench in your chest.

“yes. see you tomorrow.”

“it was nice seeing you again!” he timidly raised his voice once you were climbing the steps.

you quickly turned around and fleshed him the first genuine smile after two years. “it really was.”

“text me when you’re home!”

that made you genuinely chuckle. cute.

then you disappeared into the bus and heeseung started walking back to jay’s house, his mind endlessly replaying your beautiful smile, over and over again.

oh, he was so done for. but now he had a stronger purpose to win you back. he was going to do it at all costs and nothing was going to stop him.

heeseung: hey :)

heeseung: wow, it’s so nice to be finally unblocked

you: careful, I could always block you again :)

heeseung: okay okay, sorry!!!

heeseung: anyways, are you free this afternoon around 4pm?

you: i am!

heeseung: great! I was thinking we could go to that café near our old high school? the one we always used to go to?

heeseung: if it’s alright with you, of course

you: sure! fine by me, don’t worry

heeseung: okay! sooo see you later? :)

you: yes, see you later :)

finding yourself back in one of the places you used to hang out with your boyfriend, who was now your ex, was certainly an interesting experience.

“hey, why don’t we drink it while we go to the park down the street?” he suddenly suggested while waiting in line.

“good idea! i’m down.”

“by the way, what do you want? the usual?”

“you remember?” you asked surprised.

“of course! did you forget how many coffees i used to buy for you? not that I’m complaining now, it was cute to see you mad because you wanted to pay every time.” he suddenly started to reminisce about the past with a sweet and melancholic smile on his face, probably without realizing it.

you were even more surprised now and you could clearly sense something tugging uncomfortably at your heart.

“yeah..” you quietly let out, making him immediately realize what he was doing.

“oh, shit.. look, it’s our turn!”

and exactly like the old times, he didn’t let you pay.

“i heard you’re studying design now, right? i’m happy you’re following your dreams.”

you were now walking towards the park. you were taken aback by his words and how genuine they sounded.

“yeah, it’s so cool! it can be tough sometimes, but also super cool. i’m glad i didn’t give up.” you genuinely smiled as soon as you started talking about your passion, a detail that didn’t pass unnoticed by heeseung.

“what about you?” you continued. “what do you do now?” you looked honestly interested and that almost made his heart combust.

“i’m pursuing music. i actually transferred to your same university.. well, i didn’t know about it until the guys told me last night.” he shyly revealed.

“music?! you followed your dreams, too! i’m so happy for you.” you couldn’t help but let out your excitement at the news. you clearly remember how heeseung had always been in love with music and how talented he had always been.

you also still remember how scared he was to actually pursue it. mostly, he was anxious about his parents’ reaction. he knew from the beginning they weren’t going to be happy about it. they thought music was useless, or better: it was a nice hobby, but nothing more. heeseung was too smart to waste his life on something so trivial. he needed to follow a respectable path, in order to find a respectable job and live a respectable future with a respectable family. just like his good old father.

you had now reached the park and decided to sit down on the first empty bench you found, automatically sitting so close that your shoulders were almost touching.

“you know.. i was able to do it mainly thanks to you. do you remember that conversation we had that time on winter break, when we went to jeju? the advice you gave me really stuck with me and i just ended up following it. i mean, it wasn’t easy at first, with my dad and everything, but i was— wait, are you.. crying?” the concern in his eyes only made you feel like tearing up even more.

“why?” you were able to whisper after a little while.

“huh?” he scrunched his eyebrows in confusion.

“why didn’t you tell me, heeseung? why did you leave me without telling me what happened?”

“w-what are you—“

there was no way you could know about it.

“i know, heeseung. i know why you left.”

well, shit.

“w-who…?”

“your brother.. don’t be mad at him. it’s my fault, i literally didn’t leave him alone until he gave up and told me everything.”

“i didn’t know..”

“yes, because i begged him not to tell you anything. i thought that if that was what you really wanted, then i couldn’t do anything but respect it.”

you were really having the conversation right now and you both didn’t know how to feel. scared? relieved? anxious? pressured?

“i was so hurt.. i was hurting because of you. i felt betrayed and that’s why I blocked your number. i really wanted to forget you.. but it’s impossible. it’s impossible to forget you, heeseung. and then i found everything out and i felt so stupid.”

by now, he was crying as well. seeing his teary eyes had always been your weakest point. he wasn’t one to cry often, but when he actually did, it was almost always in your presence. you were his safe place, you understood him like no other and he knew that you would have never judged him.

usually, the reason for his tears was his father. he would always get into fights with him regarding his future and his passion for music. mr lee had always been a rigid and scary man and he had never particularly liked you. but you honestly didn’t care, at the end of the day you despised him the same way, probably even more.

you despised him because of how he would treat his son, how he would always discourage him and verbally abuse him. you saw him getting more and more insecure about his passion after every single fight. and that angered you to no limit.

seeing heeseung talk about his biggest passion and actually working on it was the most beautiful sight you had ever witnessed. his eyes would light up and close to small crescents because of how happy he was while doing it. he would talk your ears off about every new thing he had learnt and you would always listen attentively to him with the most loving gaze.

because you loved everything about those moments. but you especially loved to see him so happy in his element.

“i’m so sorry, it was never my intention to hurt you.” hearing his voice crack toward the end, you reached for his hand without a second thought and squeezed it as tight as possible.

“but why? why didn’t you tell me? why did you decide to endure all that pain alone? i would have been there for you, hee. you know i would have.”

‘hee’. oh, he really thought he was never going to hear you pronounce that nickname again.

“of course I know it and that’s why i did what i did. i didn’t want to burden you with something so heavy, knowing you already had your fair share of hardships. and i was scared..” he started to explain, his thumb subconsciously stroking your hand.

“scared?”

“i was already in a bad mental state even before it all happened, i think you noticed the gradual change in my behavior in the last months. my dad was pressuring me more and more as the day passed and then, after what he did, i was sure it would have just gotten even worse. i couldn’t stay in that house any longer, i had to leave and thankfully my brother was already studying there, in canada. i guess i didn’t want to make things even harder for you. i wasn’t sure about the long distance and i didn’t even know if you would have been up to it. plus, i probably wouldn’t have been a good boyfriend in that state and you weren’t doing too well either at the time.”

now it made more sense. everything was falling into place and you were finally understanding everything.

“i didn’t even know you were struggling.. i mean, i had suspected it, but you never wanted to talk about it and i ended up giving up. i didn’t want to pressure you and i thought you would have eventually told me at your own time. but now i feel so guilty, knowing what he did to you.. i really wish you would have told me everything, i would have been there for you without hesitation. hee, you could never be a burden to me, no matter how tough our situations might be. i’m so incredibly sorry, I should have tried way harder—“

you were uncontrollably sobbing now, each hiccup shaking your whole body. tears were quickly falling down heeseung’s checks as well. he didn’t waste another second and securely wrapped his arms around your small frame, letting your head rest on his chest and soothingly rocking both your bodies back and forth in order to calm you down.

he had terribly missed the feeling of your arms tightly wrapped around his waist, like you were afraid he would dissolve in thin air at any second; he had also missed the heat that your body radiated, a sensation that had always had a calming effect on him. and you had missed all of it, too.

“why are you apologizing? i’m the only one who should do it, i’m such an idiot. i’m terribly sorry for everything, i didn’t mean to cause you so much pain. i feel so stupid. i thought i was doing the right thing, especially for you, and i was sure that you would have felt better in the end. but i’ve later realized that i was completely wrong. you needed me and i needed you, too. we needed each other and I now can see that we probably would have been able to overcome everything together, like we’ve always done. so i’m the only one who needs to feel guilty, because i fucked everything up. i ruined the only thing that was keeping me afloat, the most special thing to ever happen to me. i completely understand if you’ll never be able to fully forgive me—“

“i’ve already told you yesterday that i forgive you, i’m not mad or hurt anymore. hee, i forgave you as soon as i discovered the truth. i don’t blame you, i could never blame you for something like this. although i can agree you could have handled things differently, i can’t judge you for trying to protect me and put my happiness before yours.” you firmly told him, releasing the strong grip you had on his body and looking him straight in the eyes.

and for a moment you two just stopped there, right in that instant, simply admiring each other, taking in for maybe the first time since you met again how much you really have changed. it’s like you were trying to memorize each other’s features, perhaps afraid fate could have different plans for you and would unexpectedly decide to separate you once again.

you couldn’t help but still think that he was the most gorgeous human being you’ve ever laid your eyes on. inside and out. because he was also the best human being with the purest soul you think you’ve ever encountered.

you suddenly felt an unstoppable force deep in your chest that was desperately trying to let you scream at the top of your lungs that you were still head over heels for lee heeseung. the man you’ve unconditionally loved for four beautiful years of relationship and that you continued to love the following years, even though you two had become nothing.

but he actually decided to beat you to it.

“i really don’t know if this is the right time to say this, but i physically can’t keep looking at you without telling you that i still love you. ___, i’m still so madly in love with you i think i might combust in this exact moment. i’ve never once stopped thinking about you and wishing for your happiness when we were apart. seeing you again yesterday for the first time made me feel so many things all at once, i felt like there was something stuck in my throat that was blocking all the oxygen from properly circulating, but at the same time i felt like i could finally really breathe again. you’re even more beautiful than i remembered and i’ve missed you like crazy. i don’t expect you to reciprocate my feelings or to give me any sort of answer, we can just pretend i never said anything. but i really needed to get it off my chest, this might be the last time we’ll ever be able to talk to each other like this again and i couldn’t live with the regret of not telling how amazing you’ve always been. so that’s—“

you swore your heart was beating so fast that for a moment you feared you were going to have a real heart attack. there was no way he had basically read your mind. you were completely blown away by his confession and about to start ugly crying all over again.

“i love you.” you were able to let out.

seeing heeseung’s eyes enlarge and fill with tears was all it took for you to impulsively cup his face in your hands and gently peck his lips in a quick kiss.

it was so light and soft that he almost thought he had dreamt it, but then he opened his eyes and saw your face so incredibly close to his, your eyes glossy with fresh unshed tears and your gaze depicting the purest look of love and adoration.

“i love you, heeseung. of course i love you, how could you even doubt it? you’re the best person i’ve ever met in my life, i’d be a fool to let you go once again. but.. if we really want to start over, we have to promise each other we’ll start to communicate properly from now on. never hide our feelings, worries and problems, i want you to tell me everything that goes through your mind and everything that happens to you, from the happiest events to the saddest and most painful ones. i can’t lose you again, i wouldn’t be able to bear it this time.”

“i swear it won’t happen ever again. i promise, we’ll make it work this time. i’m not leaving ever again if you’re not with me, you’re the best thing that could ever come into my life.“

“i love you, hee. more than you know.” you locked your hands behind his neck, while he slid his arms around your waist.

“and i love you even more, my love.”

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likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated !

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secret proposals

smau series masterlist *on hiatus*

lee heeseung x f!reader fluff fake dating, upperclass!heeseung, new money!reader, aged up characters, inspired in kdramas, vibes of rivals to lovers and grumpyxsunshine

warnings: strong language, mentions of xenophobia and misogyny, parental issues

featuring: jay(enhypen), sunghoon(enhypen), jake (enhypen), jiwoo (runext), yunjin (le sserafim)

Secret Proposals
Secret Proposals
Secret Proposals

in which while trying to avoid being sent to more blind dates and a future arranged marriage, lee heeseung decides to fake date the only person he knows his parents will not try to set him up with.

started: jan 8

PROFILES ONE PROFILES TWO

ONE a win in my books

TWO grateful I'm not a nepobaby

THREE soft launching on main

BONUS the chaotic dinner, the ban of a company and the start of a friendship written

FOUR I'm contacts

FIVE operation: find heeseung a girlfriend

SIX a not work-related proposal

SEVEN another day impersonating a pr manager

EIGHT the secret deal written

NINE (everyone knew)

TEN food=bestie

ELEVEN knowing you written

TWELVE (for now)

BONUS colliding worlds

THIRTEEN my boy only breaks his favorite toys written

FOURTEEN *gasps*

taglist: (@eleanorheartschishiya @enhaslxt @ddazed-lhs @nctislifue @ariadores @ineedsomezzz @webjeje @enhaz1 @strayy-kidz @firstclassjaylee @cupidity99 @heeoao @trinxt @flwrstqr @heeswif3y @woninluv @erehkinnie30 @inlovewithasa @mrmld @sumzysworld @simjyunnie @yizhoutv @splat00z @heehappi @yogirllia @partyparty-yah )


Tags :
11 months ago

VERITASERUM. - LHS

VERITASERUM. - LHS
VERITASERUM. - LHS
VERITASERUM. - LHS

; SYNOPSIS - after gryffindor’s victorious quidditch match earlier in the day, celebrations ensue in the common room that night, and you find yourself dragged into a game of magical truth or dare. when you make eye contact with lee heeseung, your best friend since diapers, the smirk on his face has you dreading whatever question or dare he sends your way. 

"do you want to kiss me?"

VERITASERUM. - LHS

; PAIRING - heeseung x gn!reader

; WC - 2.8k

; TAGS - one-shot, fluff, barely any angst, hogwarts au, childhood best friends to lovers, gryffindor!heeseung, griffindor!r, truth or dare/spin the bottle trope ; WARNINGS - underage drinking (Plz don’t do this !!!!), kissing

; AUTHOR'S CORNER! i don’t really have anything to say lol

VERITASERUM. - LHS

the best thing about being a gryffindor?

the parties.

granted, students will always celebrate a win, no matter what house they belong to. but gryffindor was known to host the best post-match parties. (but maybe you're a little biased.)

gryffindor had won the quidditch match against ravenclaw earlier today by a landslide. that's the fifth time in a row that your house has won in a match - all thanks to heeseung, the team's captain; your childhood best friend since you were eight.

oh, and your crush of five years.

once the match ended, you wasted no time running down to the pitch to congratulate your friend. when heeseung caught sight of you approaching, his face broke into an achingly wide grin, one that sent your heart into overdrive. he spread his arms wide and enveloped you in a hug before spinning you around as you tucked your nose into the nook between his neck and shoulder. he smelled of grass and dirt and was coated in sweat, but it didn't matter to you.

"gross," jake's voice ruins the moment.

looking over heeseung's shoulder, you find jake scrunching his nose at you two.

"couldn't you save the PDA for when you're in private?"

you pulled away from heeseung's embrace and cross your arms across yourself in embarrassment. you missed his warmth immediately. he groans as you retreat from his arms.

somewhere along the journey of growing up, innocent hugs with your best friend gained more implications to their meanings.

"always ruining things," heeseung mutters as he turns to his teammate.

"suddenly, i can't hear," jake smiles with mock-sweetness. he turns to you and nods in acknowledgement. "see you at the party later, y/n?"

"this one over here would never let me miss one," you roll your eyes playfully, nudging heeseung in the side.

by the time you came down from your dorm to the common room, the festivities were in full-blast. half the students looked either tipsy or well on their way to being full-out drunk. you could see people from other houses trickling into the red and gold of the gryffindor common room, streamers and balloons decorating the walls.

"y/n!" you looked to find jay, one of heeseung's friends, had called you over.

"hey," you greeted. pointing at his cup, you asked, "what's that?"

"well, it was originally a non-alcoholic cocktail, but someone had added a full bottle of firewhiskey to the mix."

"ah, so that explains the situation..." you nod in in understanding.

jay pursed his lips. "yeah, and since no one here really drinks much, you can imagine how low the tolerance around here is," he says as he gestures to the common room filled with stumbling and giddy teenagers.

you cringe as you see someone crash into a table, causing the game of wizarding chess another student had been playing on it to fall to the ground. yep, there'll be quite a mess after tonight.

"where's heeseung?" you asked the slytherin, looking around curiously.

"he's gone back upstairs to get something." jay looked at you as he sipped from his drink. "why, is my presence more boring than your boyfriend's?"

"he's not my boyfriend!" you denied, shaking your head so hard it started to hurt.

jay chuckled at your flushed reaction. "relax, i'm just teasing."

"i know," you deflate, pointedly looking away.

it's at that moment you spot jake walking up to you two.

"guys! come here, let's play a game."

"what game?"

"truth or dare." then, he grinned mischievously. "with a twist."

"i don't like the sound of this," you say immediately.

"c'mon, don't you want to play?"

"not really, no thanks."

"everyone's joining, let's go!"

and with that, you were left with no choice but to follow as jay and jake all but dragged you by your wrists.

you all sat around the fire place, with ten or more other students joining in on the fun.

heeseung finally joined just before it started, sitting just opposite you in the circle. you two share a secret smile, one that has you almost forgetting there were other people with you in the moment.

he wore a simple black button up, with the last few left open, allowing the world to see the smooth skin of his collarbones. paired with his black undercut, it was honestly a very simple outfit. it's the little details that made him all the more attractive, and it brought your attention to his pink lips. soft and light in contrast to his dark appearance.

the corners tug upwards into a smile, and you realise he's noticed you looking. you turn away ashamedly and pointedly engage beomgyu in a conversation, ignoring the burning gaze set on you.

jake summons cups full of the (now alcoholic) cocktail in front of everyone, before placing an empty bottle of firewhiskey in the center of the circle. you get a trickle of suspicion that he's the cause behind all of this, but you shrug it off.

"okay. so, as per the rules of the game, whoever spins the bottle is the one asking a question or giving a dare. the person the bottle lands on is on the receiving end of it. if you absolutely can't answer the question or do the dare, then take a swig from the cup." jake then shrugs, stating, "be a pussy and test your alcohol-tolerance, or grow some balls and stay sober."

"you said there was a twist," you remind him. these were all rules of a typical truth or dare game, everyone knew them.

"right you are, y/n!" he smiled brightly, clicking his fingers at you. with a swirl of his wand, he summons a familiar vial labelled 'veritaserum'.

a chill goes down your spine.

"truth serum? wait, isn't it like- illegal to misuse it like this? aren't we breaking some rule about students not being allowed to use veritaserum?"

"it's only breaking the rules if you get caught," he winks. "so, if you choose truth, you have to take three drops of this. that way, we'll know you're definitely not lying, seeing as you can't lie with this in your system." you begin to wonder how many rules jake's broken in the name of fun.

"ready?"

and the games started.

an hour into truth or dare, your cup was half empty.

by this point, jake had half of his left eyebrow singed off, yunjin had become a human magnet, and beomgyu’s mouth and nose had been transfigured into a duck beak. you yourself had half your hair jinxed to a red so bright it hurt everyone’s eyes, but that’s a story for another day.

everyone agreed not to take more than three drops of the truth serum, since no one was really interested in finding out what might happen if they overdosed. besides, the effect lasts up ‘til the morning, so there wasn't really any need to take more every time you chose truth.

not that you chose that option, anyway. the bottle had landed on you a grand total of five times, and you’d chosen dare each time.

it’s not like you had anything to hide, you tell yourself. you just like a bit of challenge, right? right.

after heeseung admitted to having used felix felicis at least once during his games (a little luck never hurt anyone, especially when they won those games), it was his turn to spin the bottle.

heeseung reached for the bottle; you waited with baited breath as it spun around.

every spin that cursed bottle took, you could hear your heart pounding louder and louder in your ears. please not you.

please not you pleasenotyou please-

you lean back and look up to whatever being out there decided to play with you today, because of course it stopped, nose pointed at you.

one look at heeseung’s face doesn’t quelm the uneasiness you’re feeling.

the corner of his lips are quirked up into a subtle smirk, one you can only see because you’ve known him for so long; memorised his behaviour patterns. not even the buzz from the alcohol could stop you from noticing that he’s planning something.

“go nice on me, hee. dare.”

“c’mon, y/n. that’s the fourth dare. are you hiding something from us?” a relatively sober jake asks with a raised eyebrow.

“no, it’s just more fun to complete dares,” you defend yourself.

“it’s fun to tell the truth, too,” heeseung remarks. his intense stare sets a fire in your stomach ablaze. there’s a mix of curiosity and challenge in his eyes.

"just give me a dare," you sigh.

heeseung shakes his head. "i won't ask anything too bad," he says, but you want to accuse him of lying. his questions this game have been the most brutal. and his insistence on getting a truth hints to you that there's a question he really wants to ask.

"please? i'll buy you that one bag you wanted."

"are you talking about the dragonskin one? i only mentioned that once," you say, surprised. your best friend just shrugged and waited for your answer.

if he still planned to hang out with you after this question, then maybe he really didn't plan to ask about your feelings, not in front of all these people, at least. but if you said no, you know heeseung would never pressure you into choosing the truth.

maybe you should have done all the dares you were given, if only so you would have been in the right mind.

otherwise, you would never have asked jake for the vial of veritaserum, which had everyone (who wasn't flat out drunk and were still following the game) cheering loudly.

"truth," you stared heeseung in the eye, gathering fake confidence after your three drops of veritaserum. heeseung grinned that pretty smile of his.

"do you want to kiss me?"

yeah, no. you were a liar (at least, before you took the truth serum). that fake confidence fell away instantly. had you really been looking at his lips that much the whole evening?

"dare." just because you took the serum doesn't mean you can't choose to not answer.

heeseung's smile widened, as if he'd already gotten his answer. he leans in, closer to the center. closer to you.

"i dare you to kiss me."

'oouuhh's and whistles echoes throughout the room, and people who hadn't joined the game turned towards the circle curiously.

you slapped your hands to your mouth in shock, you hadn't expected him to be so upfront. he sat and waited, whether for you to answer his question, or act on his dare.

you don't know if it was the firewhiskey, the chants of everyone saying 'kiss! kiss! kiss!', or maybe the electricity in the air between you two. maybe it was all three, plus the feelings you harboured over these last few years. whatever the case was didn't matter though - not when you went in for it anyway.

in a swift moment, you captured his lips in a kiss, which he reciprocated in pulling you closer, his hands firm on your shoulders. all of your feelings and thoughts pour into the action, setting aside all of the hesitation and doubt to immerse yourself just for a moment.

you couldn't break away, and neither did he. his lips were soft, but so full of life and emotion, fueling you to kiss him harder. a flickering thought that maybe, he felt the same. a small hope that your feelings for him weren't so unrequited. it was exhilarating, treading on that fine line between friends and lovers.

you'll probably realise it was a mistake later on, a kiss that never should have happened between two friends. because friends don't kiss, and yet, you can't seem to pull away.

when you finally did though, heeseung kept you in place, his arm draped around your waist.

"wait," he huffed, panting and trying to catch his breath. you could tell he was trying to gather his thoughts.

you'd been avoiding this, because you had an inkling feeling about the words words he wanted to say, but couldn't. you were honestly scared of what they were: rejection? saying he knew you liked him, but didn't feel the same? pity? disgust?

if he didn't like you back, you would never recover. the end of your friendship - a ten year one all ruined in the blink of an eye. all of the effort you'd put in to it, only to be destroyed by a stupid stupid stupid kiss.

for a long while now, friendly conversations on a winter evening by the fireplace and innocent letters you'd owl to each other's dorm every night no longer seemed to suffice. but you had to accept it, knowing you'd never have a chance with him. so instead, you just avoided that topic whenever the conversation headed in that direction, veering it away to a lighter one.

after all, if you just ran away from the problem, you'd never have to confront it, right? over time, your (five year old) crush will definitely dissipate, right?

and now, you were stuck in an awkward position.

"sorry, can we speak in private?" he looks to jake for permission, who nods with a sparkle in his eye, a smile barely hidden.

heeseung got up from the floor, and dragged you up by your wrist. you tried to ignore all the murmurs, but you couldn't stop yourself from hiding behind your hands. your face was certainly red, and definitely not from the alcohol. you were much more sober now.

when he brought you to a secluded place, heeseung pulled your hands away, and looked at you with concern.

"are you okay? i'm sorry if you felt pressured back there. i shouldn't have done that."

dread filled you, the blood draining from your body and a cool shiver took over.

"you shouldn't have done what? we shouldn't have kissed?" you asked, holding back tears. this was going exactly the way you always imagined.

"what? no!" his eyes widened, speechless for a moment. "y/n, that kiss was everything to me. you don't know how long i've wanted to do that."

you gaped at him, confused. it was your turn to be speechless.

"what do you mean...?"

heeseung leaned back, retreating into himself. he couldn't look at you as he confessed, "i was waiting for the right time to say this, but then i'd be waiting forever.

"i like you, possibly even love you. i don't know when these feelings started, but i realised when jay asked you out last year. i've liked you for way longer before that though.

"i suddenly became aware of how, when everyone cheered for me in my games, it was only ever your voice that mattered. or how much i missed holding your hand in my sleep like we used to as kids. and then you kept looking at me with those eyes earlier, and i just needed to know how your lips felt right then. time feels like it stops when i look at you, i think i'm going a little crazy."

your heart raced, you couldn't believe your ears.

"wait, because i've felt this way for you since we were thirteen. have you really liked me back all this time?"

heeseung turned to you, a meaningful look in his eyes.

"i wouldn't have asked for a kiss if i didn't think about you like that. you're the world to me, and i didn't want to lose you because of how i felt. i don't know where that surge of confidence from earlier came from."

you start to laugh. "you don't know how long i've wanted to do that either," you say simply, relief filling your veins.

"longer than just tonight, i hope?"

"way longer before that," you parroted.

heeseung grinned, and pulled out a gift bag from his back pocket, charmed to hold bigger items.

you gasped. "this is the bag!" you look up at him. "you already bought it?"

it hit you then that this was the 'thing' he'd been getting earlier, back when you spoke with jay.

"i did," he smiled, handing it over to you.

"so when you said that earlier..."

"i planned to give it anyway, whether or not your accepted my dare or not."

"so you're saying i could have avoided all that anyway? i hate you," you folded your arms and rolled your eyes playfully.

"i didn't know you could still lie under veritaserum!" he gasped, with equally as much playfulness in his tone.

"some are less affected," you shrugged.

he laughed before wrapping his arms around you, hanging on the small of your back. you hugged him back, placing a soft kiss on his jaw.

"y/n, please. can i be yours?" he murmured into your neck.

"you always have been."

VERITASERUM. - LHS

; TAGLIST - perm . @lovelovelovebts @miyseung @babyy-bambii @haechansbbg @gweoriz @maoyueze @manooffline @chocwo @yizhoutv @isawritesss networks . @kflixnet @k-films @/k-labels

VERITASERUM. - LHS

Tags :
11 months ago

Hate Is A Strong Word - N.R

Hate Is A Strong Word - N.R

P: Slytherin!Ni-ki X fem!reader

Synopsis: You never imagined that the picture perfect Slytherin would like you

Warnings?: Fluff, Misunderstandings, bullying (not from N-ki). Insecurities.

a/n: So this is the start of my Hogwarts au for each of the members. Ni-ki is the first one out! :D The next one will be Jake!

----

Leeseo nudged you gently, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. “I heard today’s lesson is going to be something really challenging,” she whispered, her excitement barely contained. You nodded, sharing her eagerness. Transfiguration was one of the most fascinating subjects at Hogwarts, and Professor McGonagall’s classes were always a blend of rigorous discipline and awe-inspiring magic.

As the heavy oak doors of the Transfiguration classroom creaked open, you walked in alongside your friend Leeseo. The room, illuminated by large arched windows that allowed beams of sunlight to dance across the stone floor, was already buzzing with the chatter of students.

As you took your seats, you glanced toward the front of the classroom. There, standing tall and composed by the blackboard, was Professor McGonagall. Her stern yet kind eyes surveyed the room, ensuring everyone was settled. With her wand in hand, she exuded an air of authority and wisdom, her emerald robes flowing gracefully around her.

The murmurs gradually subsided as McGonagall stepped forward, her presence commanding your attention. “Good morning, class,” she began, her voice clear and steady. “Today, we will be advancing to human transfiguration, a complex and delicate branch of magic that requires utmost precision and concentration.”

The mention of human transfiguration sent a ripple of excitement and nervousness through the room. You exchanged a quick, thrilled glance with Leeseo. This was the kind of magic that defined wizardry, the intricate spells that transformed the very essence of matter.

Professor McGonagall flicked her wand, and the blackboard behind her filled with neat, precise instructions and diagrams. “Now, before we begin, I must remind you of the importance of practice and control. Improper transfiguration can have… unintended consequences.” Her eyes swept the room, emphasizing the seriousness of her words.

With a final nod of understanding, you prepared your wand and opened your textbook to the designated chapter.

As the day wore on, you eventually made your way to the dungeon for Potions class. The air grew cooler and the corridors darker as you descended, the flickering torches casting eerie shadows on the stone walls. You and Leeseo entered the dimly lit classroom, settling into your usual seats near the middle. Around you, your classmates were chatting in low tones, the anticipation palpable.

After Transfiguration, your day continued with a series of classes, each filled with the usual hustle and bustle of student life at Hogwarts. Charms was lively as always, with Professor Flitwick’s enthusiastic instruction keeping everyone engaged. Herbology followed, where you worked in the greenhouse, learning about magical plants and their properties.

The door swung open with a dramatic flair, and Professor Snape swept into the room, his black robes billowing behind him. The room fell silent instantly, every student turning their attention to the formidable Potions Master. Snape’s presence commanded a certain respect—or perhaps fear—that was undeniable.

“Today,” Snape began, his voice a silky drawl that carried a hint of menace, “you will brew a Veritaserum.” He paused, letting the weight of his words settle over the class. “A truth potion, which when correctly brewed, will compel the drinker to reveal their innermost secrets.”

He moved to the front of the classroom, where a cauldron was already simmering. With precise, deliberate movements, he began demonstrating the brewing process, adding ingredients with a practiced ease. His every action was fluid, almost mesmerizing, and you found yourself taking meticulous notes, your eyes darting between the instructions in the textbook and Snape’s methodical demonstration.

“Take care to follow the instructions exactly,” Snape intoned, his dark eyes sweeping the room. “Any deviation could render the potion useless… or worse.”

One by one, Snape called out the pairings. Leeseo was partnered with a Gryffindor student, and soon your name came up. “You will be working with Nishimura Ni-ki,” Snape declared.

He finished his demonstration and stepped back, crossing his arms. “I have set up each of you with a partner, so I expect you all to work together,” he announced. The room buzzed with curiosity as you waited for your name to be called.

You glanced over at Ni-ki, a Slytherin student known for his cunning nature and sharp intellect. Your eyes met briefly before he stood up and walked toward you, his expression neutral. He took the seat beside you, and for a moment, you simply looked at each other, assessing.

“Shall I cut and you brew?” Ni-ki asked, his voice calm and steady.

You nodded in agreement. “That sounds good.”

The potion started to take shape, its color gradually shifting as you added each ingredient in turn. Ni-ki’s sharp observations and quick corrections were invaluable, and you found yourself appreciating his expertise despite your limited interactions.

With a silent understanding, you both began your task. Ni-ki’s hands moved deftly, slicing ingredients with precision and efficiency, while you focused on the careful process of brewing, ensuring each step was followed meticulously. Though you didn’t converse much, there was an unspoken coordination between you, a shared goal that drove your efforts.

As the final stages approached, the potion glowed a soft, silvery hue, indicating you were on the right track. Snape prowled the classroom, occasionally stopping to observe or comment on various pairs’ progress. When he reached your desk, he paused, scrutinizing your work with his usual critical eye.

After you and Ni-ki finished brewing the Veritaserum, you let out a quiet sigh of relief and settled back into your seat. The potion simmered gently, its translucent glow a sign of your successful collaboration. With the class winding down, you pulled out your notebook and began doodling absentmindedly, your mind drifting.

“Acceptable,” he murmured, giving a slight nod before moving on. It was high praise coming from Snape, and you felt a sense of accomplishment.

Ni-ki, meanwhile, was meticulously sorting out the remaining ingredients. You stole a quick glance at him, curiosity getting the better of you. His recently dyed light hair hung in front of his eyes, accentuating his piercing stare. Despite his cold demeanor, there was an undeniable intensity in his gaze that seemed to see right through people. His robes fit him perfectly, the black fabric contrasting sharply with his pale complexion. The Slytherin badge, neatly stitched into his robes, was complemented by the prefect badge pinned just beside it, a testament to his standing and discipline.

As you doodled, you found your thoughts wandering. What was Ni-ki hiding behind that expressionless face? What would it be like to see him smile, to see his features soften with joy? Did he ever feel sadness, and if so, did he let himself cry? These questions swirled in your mind, each one deepening the mystery that was Ni-ki.

You had to admit, even if only to yourself, that Ni-ki looked good. There was something striking about him, an aura that was hard to ignore. But you would never voice this thought out loud. You admired him quietly, keeping your appreciation to yourself. Despite his coldness, he wasn’t like some of his fellow Slytherins who resorted to bullying and teasing. No, his crime was different—he was aloof, detached, and seemingly emotionless. He was an enigma, always keeping to himself and his close-knit group of peers.

As you left the Potions classroom, the dark and cool dungeons faded behind you, but your thoughts lingered on Ni-ki. You shook your head, trying to clear the lingering questions that kept popping up about him. It wasn’t like you cared—he was distant and cold. But the fact that he cleaned up without saying a word or asking for acknowledgment—it was almost… considerate. Strange for someone like him.

Before you could ponder further, the sound of chairs scraping against the stone floor signaled the end of class. Snape’s curt dismissal barely registered as you blinked, realizing how lost in thought you had become. You looked up to find that Ni-ki had already stood up and left, leaving behind a spotless workstation. The ingredients were neatly put away, the table wiped clean. In your daydreaming, you hadn’t even noticed him tidying up.

You walked down the stone corridor, heading toward the next class with Leeseo catching up to you. “How was it working with Ni-ki?” she asked, her voice light and curious.

You shrugged, keeping your expression neutral. “He’s efficient. Doesn’t talk much.”

Leeseo raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. “Efficient? That’s not the word I expected you to use.” She grinned playfully, nudging you. “You didn’t bicker, did you?”

You rolled your eyes. “We didn’t even speak much, to be honest. He just… does his part and leaves. Not much else to say.”

“Classic Ni-ki,” she mused, adjusting her bag over her shoulder. “Still, it’s kind of impressive that you got to work with him. He’s got a reputation, you know.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard.” You kept your voice light, trying not to dwell on the fact that you had spent the better part of Potions class analyzing the guy instead of just brewing the potion. “It’s just one class though. Nothing special.”

Leeseo and you reached the courtyard, the cool autumn air refreshing after the confined dungeon. You tilted your head up, letting the breeze rustle through your hair, trying to shake off the distraction that Ni-ki had become in your thoughts.

But even as you said it, you couldn’t help but wonder why he kept himself so closed off. There was a quiet confidence about him, yes, but also a wall that he didn’t seem to let anyone through. It made him mysterious, sure, but also frustrating. What was he hiding? Or was it just his nature, plain and simple?

“Well, he’s not bad-looking,” Leeseo added with a grin, catching you completely off guard.

You nearly choked on air, throwing her an incredulous look. “Seriously?”

She laughed, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “Come on, you can’t deny it. He’s got that whole mysterious, brooding Slytherin thing going on. You’d be blind not to notice.”

Leeseo just smiled knowingly, but thankfully, she let the topic drop as you made your way to the next class. Still, as the day went on, Ni-ki’s expressionless face, his precise movements, and the way his hair fell over his eyes refused to leave the corners of your mind.

You groaned, tugging your scarf tighter around your neck as you continued walking. “I don’t need any more distractions, thanks. We have enough on our plate with the upcoming exams and essays.” You tried to steer the conversation away, not wanting to admit that, yes, Ni-ki was ridiculously good-looking. Admiring him from afar was one thing, but beyond that? Absolutely not.

You sighed to yourself. This was going to be harder to ignore than you thought.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

It all really started one afternoon at the library when you were tucked away at your usual table near the back, surrounded by textbooks and parchment. You were completely immersed in your reading when you noticed a shadow fall across the table.

Looking up, you saw him—Nishimura Ni-ki.

Without a word, he pulled out the chair opposite you and sat down. No greeting, no explanation, just the soft sound of him placing his books on the table. He didn’t meet your eyes, didn’t acknowledge your surprised expression. Instead, he opened his own textbook and began reading, as though it was the most natural thing in the world for him to sit there.

You blinked, taken aback. For a moment, you considered asking him what he was doing. After all, it wasn’t as if the library was short on tables, and Ni-ki wasn’t exactly known for being social with anyone outside of his Slytherin circle. But instead, you tried to focus on your work, convincing yourself that he’d leave soon enough.

But he didn’t.

After what felt like an eternity, you couldn’t hold back any longer. "What are you doing?" you asked, keeping your voice low to avoid drawing Madam Pince’s ire.

He stayed, flipping through pages, scribbling notes in his neat, precise handwriting. He didn’t speak, didn’t look at you—just sat there, quietly doing his own work. You couldn’t help but steal a few glances at him, confused by his presence. Why was he here, sitting with you, of all people?

He didn’t look up from his book. "Studying," he replied, his tone clipped and direct.

You raised an eyebrow. "I can see that. But why here?"

For the first time, he looked up, meeting your eyes with that same unreadable expression he always wore. "Is there a problem?" he asked calmly, his voice steady.

You hesitated. He wasn’t being rude, exactly, but the way he spoke made it clear he didn’t think he needed to explain himself. You shook your head, deciding it wasn’t worth pushing further. "No," you muttered, turning back to your own notes.

And so the pattern began.

"Why do you keep sitting here?" you asked one day, after he’d settled into the chair across from you for what felt like the hundredth time.

Each time you came to the library, Ni-ki would show up not long after. Sometimes he arrived before you, already seated at the same table, as if claiming it before you could. Other times, he’d stroll in after you’d settled down, take his seat across from you, and dive into his work. He never spoke unless you asked him a direct question, and even then, his answers were always short, almost dismissive. It wasn’t that he was unkind—just distant, like there was no need for conversation.

He didn’t even look up. "It’s quiet," he answered simply, continuing to write in his notebook.

You frowned, not satisfied with the answer. "There are other tables. You could sit anywhere else."

"True." He glanced up briefly, his eyes meeting yours before flicking back to his book. "But I’m sitting here."

That was all he said. No further explanation, no invitation for more questions. Just a simple, matter-of-fact statement that left you feeling more confused than before.

There were moments when you found yourself glancing at him more than you should have. His hair, still that light shade, would occasionally fall in front of his eyes, and he’d push it back with a practiced motion. His fingers moved with such precision as he wrote, and his posture was always so composed, like he never let himself relax fully.

It wasn’t like he was helping you with your work, either. He didn’t offer advice, didn’t join in on any discussions about the material you were studying. He was just… there. A quiet presence that made you hyper-aware of his every movement, even though he barely acknowledged you. It was unnerving at first, but over time, you began to expect it—Ni-ki would be there, silently doing his own thing while you tried to focus on yours.

And yet, despite the quiet, there was something oddly comforting about his presence. It was strange to admit, but in the silence of the library, having him across from you became… familiar. Predictable, even.

One afternoon, after another long stretch of silent studying, you finally broke the quiet. "You don’t have to sit here, you know."

Still, the lack of interaction left you with more questions than answers. Why sit with you every time if he had no intention of talking? What was he gaining from it? Was it simply convenience, or was there something else going on that you couldn’t see?

He paused, his quill hovering over the parchment. His eyes lifted to meet yours, and for a moment, he seemed to consider your words. "I know," he said quietly, his voice softer than usual. "But I am."

And with that, he went back to his work, leaving you with nothing but the steady scratch of his quill and the growing confusion swirling in your mind.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the weeks passed, Ni-ki’s quiet presence at your table in the library became something you began to anticipate. It was no longer surprising when he pulled out the chair across from you, settling in without a word. At first, it had unnerved you—the silent way he occupied the space, his sharp focus on his own work, and the fact that, outside these moments, he didn’t acknowledge you at all. But now, somehow, you didn’t mind it.

It wasn’t that the two of you had grown closer, at least not in the usual sense. He never spoke unless you asked him a direct question, and even then, his answers were brief and to the point. He offered no opinions, no conversation starters—just an occasional glance in your direction, sometimes a quiet nod. And yet, you had grown accustomed to the silence between you, a silence that felt oddly comfortable.

In fact, you found yourself looking forward to it. His quiet company had a strange, calming effect, as if the library wasn’t truly complete without him sitting across from you. You had started to expect him there, so much so that on the rare occasions when he wasn’t, you couldn’t help but feel a little off-kilter, like something was missing from the day.

But the strange thing was, beyond these quiet library sessions, it was as if Ni-ki didn’t know you at all.

In classes, he barely looked your way. If he did speak to you, it was only because the lesson demanded it—when he was your partner for a potion, or during group work in Transfiguration. His responses were always curt, efficient, like he was checking off a box before returning to his own tasks. You would pass each other in the corridors, or see him in the Great Hall, always surrounded by his Slytherin friends, and it was like you didn’t exist. Not a glance, not a nod, nothing to suggest he even knew you.

It puzzled you to no end. You weren’t sure if it bothered you or just left you more curious. Why go out of his way to sit with you in the library if he had no interest in interacting with you elsewhere? It wasn’t like he needed help with his studies—Ni-ki was brilliant in his own right. And it wasn’t like you were friends, either. In fact, you had hardly spoken more than a handful of sentences to each other since you first started sharing a table.

You found yourself wondering more and more why he bothered. Why, out of all the places in Hogwarts, did he always choose the spot across from you? Why did he sit with you, week after week, without saying much of anything, only to act as if you didn’t exist the moment you left the library?

But you didn’t dare ask him. For one thing, Ni-ki was rarely alone. He was almost always surrounded by his Slytherin friends—usually fellow prefects or others from his house, most of whom carried an air of superiority that reminded you why you kept your distance from most of them. There was never a convenient moment to pull him aside, and even if there were, you couldn’t imagine what you’d say.

You’d often catch yourself glancing over at him during Potions or in the Great Hall, trying to make sense of him. His friends would be laughing or talking among themselves, and there Ni-ki would be, sitting quietly, his expression unreadable, completely detached from whatever conversation was happening around him. You wondered if he was the same with them—distant, aloof, only speaking when necessary.

And then there was the other part of you, the part that didn’t exactly want to know the answer. What if it was something you didn’t want to hear? What if the reason was as simple as convenience, or worse—what if there was no reason at all? What if, to him, you were just a tablemate, nothing more?

It became a kind of ritual—this quiet routine in the library, these fleeting moments of wondering. You couldn’t deny the growing curiosity, though. Why did he choose you, out of everyone he could have sat with? And why did it seem like he was perfectly fine with just… existing alongside you, never crossing the invisible line that separated the two of you?

Sometimes you’d catch his eye, and for the briefest moment, you thought you saw something—maybe recognition, maybe nothing at all. But then, he’d look away, and the moment would pass as quickly as it came.

You wished you had the courage to ask him. But each time you considered it, you reminded yourself of who he was—Nishimura Ni-ki, Slytherin prefect, sharp-tongued and unreadable. He wasn’t someone you could just ask a simple, casual question and expect an answer that wouldn’t make you regret it.

And besides, maybe it was better this way—better to leave the mystery unsolved than to shatter the quiet routine you had somehow built with him.

Even your friends began to notice. Leeseo had raised her eyebrows the first time she saw Ni-ki sitting with you in the library, but she hadn’t said anything beyond the occasional teasing. “Your silent study buddy’s here again,” she’d say with a wink when she caught him at the table. “You two make quite the pair.”

It was during one of those quiet afternoons, with parchment spread across the table and the soft scratch of your quill filling the silence, that you found yourself thinking about it more than usual. Why, out of all the students at Hogwarts, did he choose to sit with you? Surely, he had plenty of friends or places he could have gone. And more importantly, why did he never talk to you outside of the library?

You always brushed it off, rolling your eyes at her remarks. But deep down, a part of you wondered if she saw something you were missing. Was there more to Ni-ki’s presence than what you had convinced yourself to believe?

Your eyes flicked up to Ni-ki, who was seated across from you as usual, engrossed in a large, ancient-looking tome. His light hair fell over his forehead, slightly tousled from the breeze outside. He looked calm, composed, and completely at ease, as if this had been his routine for years.

A question hovered on the tip of your tongue, one you had been pushing aside for weeks now. But before you could find the courage to ask, Ni-ki suddenly closed his book with a soft thud. You blinked, startled out of your thoughts, and he stood up, gathering his things with that same quiet precision.

He looked at you, his dark eyes briefly meeting yours. For a second, you thought he might say something, but instead, he gave a slight nod—his usual, silent goodbye. Without a word, he turned and left the library, his footsteps soft against the stone floor.

You watched him go, feeling that familiar, quiet emptiness settle in his absence.

What you didn’t know was that, in Ni-ki’s mind, a storm was brewing. A quiet turmoil, hidden beneath his calm exterior, had begun to take shape, and it was all because of you. He had always prided himself on his ability to maintain focus, to keep his thoughts clear and his goals straightforward. But lately, you had become an unexpected variable in his otherwise predictable life.

But it didn’t stop there. What began as a mild curiosity morphed into confusion. Ni-ki couldn’t quite articulate it, but there was something compelling about you—something that made you linger in his thoughts long after he had left the library. Why did your laughter echo in his mind? Why did he find himself glancing in your direction during meals, seeking you out in the crowded Great Hall, even when he was surrounded by his friends?

At first, he had taken little notice of you. You were just another student, one among many who populated Hogwarts. But then, slowly but surely, that indifference had shifted to something else—curiosity. He began to notice the way your brow furrowed in concentration when you studied, the way your lips would curve into a small smile when you finally grasped a particularly tricky concept. There was something intriguing about your determination, something that pulled at the edges of his awareness.

As he continued to share those quiet moments in the library with you, he found himself observing you more intently. He noticed the small things: how you tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear when you were deep in thought, how your expressions shifted subtly as you worked through problems. You were a puzzle he hadn’t expected to encounter, and with each encounter, the mystery deepened.

Every time you caught his gaze across the Great Hall or shared a fleeting moment in the library, the storm would build inside him—curiosity colliding with confusion, a need to understand you battling against the fear of opening up. What if you didn’t feel the same? What if this was all one-sided, and he was just a distant presence in your life? The idea sent a jolt of uncertainty through him.

It was disconcerting, to say the least. He was known for his stoic demeanor, for being the type of person who kept his emotions in check. Yet, here he was, caught in an unyielding tide of thoughts about someone he had initially dismissed. It was frustrating, and a little alarming. He was supposed to be focused on his studies, on his role as a prefect, on maintaining the reputation he had carefully crafted. So why couldn’t he shake the feeling that there was something deeper to explore with you?

Ni-ki’s friends began to notice his distraction. They would tease him about how often he seemed to lose focus, how he would sometimes pause mid-conversation, his eyes drifting off to the side as if searching for something—or someone. But he brushed their remarks aside, masking his inner conflict with indifference.

It was a confusing dichotomy, and Ni-ki was left to navigate his own feelings in silence, unsure of where this newfound intrigue would lead him. All he knew was that every time he sat in front of you in the library, the storm inside him would shift—pushing him closer to the edge of wanting to reach out, even as fear held him back.

He found himself wrestling with a mounting desire to approach you, to understand the enigma you represented. But every time he would gather the courage to break that silence, to say something more than the necessary exchanges during class, he hesitated. The distance between you felt both comforting and suffocating.

He didn’t know what to do about it. He didn’t know why he kept coming back, why he couldn’t stay away, even though he knew that sitting there, in silence, only made things more complicated.

But he couldn’t stop. And he didn’t want to. He just needed to figure out how.

--------------------------------------------------------------

It started gradually, almost imperceptibly. The silence between you and Ni-ki began to shift, not in any overt way but in small moments that made it feel… less heavy. The library sessions continued as they always had, with Ni-ki sitting across from you, his head bent over his books, while you quietly worked on your own assignments. But there were times now when you found yourself speaking.

It started off with casual remarks. Maybe it was the stress of exams or the overwhelming workload that had you venting aloud, but Ni-ki never seemed bothered by it. He didn’t offer much in return—just a short nod or a quiet hum of acknowledgment—but he listened.

One evening, after a particularly difficult day, you couldn’t hold back anymore. "I just don’t get it," you muttered, staring at your Transfiguration textbook in frustration. "No matter how much I study, I can’t seem to get this right. And McGonagall keeps assigning more complex material like it’s nothing."

Ni-ki looked up, his eyes flicking to the page you were stuck on before settling back on your frustrated expression. He didn’t say anything, just kept watching you with that same quiet intensity you had grown used to.

"And," you continued, feeling a strange comfort in speaking your thoughts aloud to him, "there’s this Slytherin who won’t stop picking on me. Every time I pass by them, it’s like they have to make some snide comment or knock my bag off my shoulder. It’s ridiculous." You sighed, shaking your head. "But I guess that’s just how it goes sometimes."

The next day, something changed. The Slytherin student who had made it their mission to irritate you suddenly stopped. They no longer sneered at you in the halls, no longer made rude remarks or tried to provoke you. In fact, they seemed to go out of their way to avoid you altogether. You didn’t understand why, but you weren’t about to complain.

Ni-ki’s eyes darkened slightly at your words, his jaw tightening, but he said nothing. You didn’t expect a response; you were just letting off steam. Somehow, Ni-ki’s silent presence always made it easier to say the things that were weighing on you. You could talk to him without fear of judgment or interruption. He just listened, and that was enough.

And then, there was the folder. It appeared during one of your classes, a neatly organized folder filled with notes on every subject you had been struggling with. The handwriting was unmistakable—precise, clean, and undeniably Ni-ki’s. The notes were thorough, covering all the topics you had mentioned having trouble with. It was as if he had gone out of his way to compile everything you needed to help you catch up.

The next time you saw him in the library, you didn’t hesitate to thank him.

You didn’t know how to react at first. Gratitude and surprise warred within you as you thumbed through the pages, recognizing the meticulous effort that had gone into writing them. Ni-ki hadn’t said a word about it, hadn’t even hinted that he was going to help you like this. He had just quietly, and without fanfare, made sure you had everything you needed.

"Ni-ki," you began softly, looking up from your books to meet his gaze. His head lifted slightly, acknowledging that he was listening. "Thank you—for the notes." Your voice was sincere, full of the appreciation you felt. "I really didn’t expect it, but it helped a lot."

He didn’t say anything in return. He just nodded once, his face remaining as impassive as ever, as if this grand gesture was nothing out of the ordinary. For Ni-ki, maybe it wasn’t. Maybe that was just how he operated—helping silently, without drawing attention to it, without expecting anything in return.

And so, you didn’t ask what had happened with the Slytherin who had suddenly stopped bothering you. You didn’t ask why Ni-ki had gone through the trouble of writing those notes for you or why he had stayed by your side all this time in the library. Because somehow, you knew. This was just Ni-ki’s way—silent, unspoken care hidden behind his cool exterior.

But for you, it meant something. A lot, actually. It was a reminder that beneath Ni-ki’s cold exterior, there was more to him than he let on. His actions spoke louder than any words could, and though he kept his distance in almost every other part of your life, in these quiet moments, he was closer than anyone.

And that was enough for now.

One evening, during one of your usual study sessions in the library, you were stuck. The upcoming exam loomed over you, and no matter how many times you read the same question, the answer refused to reveal itself. You sat there in silence, frustration building as you stared blankly at the page in front of you.

The library was quiet, save for the occasional rustle of parchment and soft footsteps in the distance. Ni-ki sat across from you, as usual, his head bent over his own work. The silence between you two was comfortable by now, and you didn’t expect it to be broken anytime soon. You sighed, trying to push through the mental block that had settled over you.

Then, you heard movement—a soft rustling. Glancing up, you saw Ni-ki standing. For a moment, you thought he was leaving, and disappointment bloomed unexpectedly in your chest. You looked back down, resigned to continuing your struggle alone, but then something surprising happened.

"Where are you stuck?" Ni-ki asked, his voice soft but clear. There was no trace of his usual distance, just a quiet sincerity that caught you off guard.

You felt the faint shift of air and the quiet creak of the wooden bench, startled, you turned your head and found him sitting right next to you. His presence was closer than it had ever been during these sessions, and it made your heart race for reasons you didn’t entirely understand.

Blinking, still mildly in shock from the sudden change in his behavior, you pointed at the question that had been giving you trouble. You half-expected him to glance at it, make some passing comment, and return to his seat. But instead, Ni-ki leaned in slightly, examining the material with a focused expression.

With each sentence Ni-ki uttered, the material started to make sense. What had seemed impossible moments before was now manageable, the concepts clicking together as he guided you through the steps. His voice had a soothing quality to it, calm and unhurried, like he had all the time in the world to sit with you and explain.

He began speaking, his voice calm and smooth as he explained the concept in clear, concise terms. There was a quiet assurance in the way he spoke, his words precise and easy to follow. He wasn’t just repeating the textbook either—he was breaking it down in a way that made it understandable, relatable even. You listened closely, hanging onto each word, and slowly, like fog lifting from your mind, the confusion began to clear.

When he finished explaining, you stared at the page for a moment, absorbing the new understanding. It felt like a weight had lifted, and for the first time in hours, you felt a surge of confidence that maybe—just maybe—you could actually manage this exam.

You found yourself glancing at him occasionally, taking in the way his eyes stayed fixed on the book, his brow slightly furrowed in concentration as he worked through the material with you. There was something unexpectedly gentle about the way he spoke, something that contrasted with the cold, distant persona he usually kept up. And in this moment, sitting side by side in the dim light of the library, it was hard to remember why you had ever thought of him as distant at all.

"Does that make sense now?" Ni-ki asked, his voice still soft.

You nodded, almost dazed. "Yeah… it does. Thanks."

He didn’t say anything in response, just gave a small, barely noticeable nod before settling back into his seat, returning to his own work as if nothing unusual had happened.

You sat there for a few moments longer, still processing both the study material and the fact that Ni-ki had just sat next to you, helped you. He hadn’t done it begrudgingly either; he had simply done it because you needed help. And his presence, his voice, had made all the difference.

But something had shifted between you. You weren’t sure what it was exactly, but the air felt different now—less like the quiet companionship you had grown used to and more like… something else. Something unspoken.

As you returned to your notes, you couldn’t help but glance at him again, wondering what other sides of Ni-ki lay hidden beneath the surface.

One evening, after hours of studying and flipping through books, you found yourself exhausted. Your eyes were burning from reading the same passage over and over, and you sighed loudly, resting your head on the table. Ni-ki glanced up from his work, giving you a quizzical look.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Long day?” he asked, his voice softer than usual, almost concerned.

You nodded, not lifting your head. “Yeah. Between Potions, Transfiguration, and Herbology, I feel like my brain is going to melt.”

There was a pause before you heard him shifting in his seat. “Potions is your weakest subject, right?”

You looked up, blinking in surprise. It wasn’t like Ni-ki to make small talk, and the fact that he remembered your struggles in Potions caught you off guard.

“Yeah,” you admitted, sitting up straighter. “It just doesn’t click for me like other subjects do.”

Ni-ki seemed to consider this for a moment before responding, “I used to be terrible at Potions too. In second year, I once brewed a Sleeping Draught that knocked out half the class. Snape wasn’t pleased.”

Your eyes widened in surprise, a laugh escaping you. “No way! You, bad at Potions? I can’t believe it.”

“Everyone starts somewhere.”

Another time, while working on your Charms essay, you noticed Ni-ki was unusually quiet—even for him. He wasn’t reading or writing, just sitting there, staring at his open textbook with an intense focus that seemed off.

You hesitated before asking, “Are you okay? You seem… distracted.”

He didn’t look up at first, his fingers absentmindedly tapping the table. “I’m fine,” he said, but his tone lacked its usual confidence.

You waited, sensing that he wasn’t fine at all. After a long moment of silence, Ni-ki finally spoke again, quieter this time. “I’m… just thinking about some things. It’s nothing important.”

You could tell that was a lie. He was always so composed, so in control of his emotions, that seeing him unsettled was strange. But you didn’t push him. Instead, you offered something simple.

“If you ever want to talk, I’m here.”

Ni-ki glanced at you, his expression softening just a little. He didn’t say anything, but the small nod he gave you felt like a thank you.

Another late night, the library was almost empty, save for you and Ni-ki at your usual spot. You had been studying for hours, and exhaustion was starting to settle in. You stretched, groaning as you reached for your quill.

“I can’t do this anymore,” you muttered. “My brain is fried.”

Ni-ki glanced up from his book, closing it with a quiet snap. “Take a break.”

You blinked at him, surprised by the suggestion. “You? Telling me to take a break? What’s gotten into you?”

“Even I take breaks sometimes.”

Skeptical, you raised an eyebrow. “Really? I’ve never seen it.”

Instead of responding, Ni-ki stood up and stretched, motioning for you to follow him. “Come on. Let’s walk around for a few minutes.”

Confused but curious, you followed him out of the library and into the cool night air. The two of you walked in silence for a while, the soft breeze helping to clear your mind. After a few minutes, Ni-ki broke the silence.

“You push yourself too hard sometimes.”

You glanced at him, surprised by the observation. “You’re one to talk.”

He shrugged “Maybe. But I know when to stop.”

But perhaps the most unexpected moment came one late afternoon, as you both sat in the library, quietly working on your respective assignments. You were in a lighter mood that day, having finally finished an essay that had been plaguing you for weeks. Feeling more relaxed, you absentmindedly began talking about the ridiculous antics of a few fellow students during Herbology, mimicking the professor's reactions with exaggerated gestures and voices.

Ni-ki, as usual, didn’t say much, just listened with his usual calm expression. But then, something shifted. When you imitated Professor Sprout tripping over a Mandrake root, you caught it—the faintest twitch of his lips. At first, you thought you had imagined it, but then it happened again. His lips curved up into a small smile, and for a brief moment, Ni-ki’s usually composed face broke into something entirely different.

You froze mid-sentence, staring at him in shock. Ni-ki—quiet, serious, and often unreadable—was smiling. Not just a polite smile, but a genuine one, and you could see a glint of amusement in his dark eyes.

“What?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as he noticed your stunned expression.

“I… I didn’t know you could smile,” you blurted out, completely forgetting your earlier train of thought.

Ni-ki’s smile widened, and then, to your utter disbelief, a soft chuckle escaped him. It was quiet and brief, but it was there—a real laugh. And suddenly, the cold, distant image you had of him cracked just a little more, revealing something warmer, something softer beneath the surface.

He quickly composed himself, the smile fading but not disappearing entirely. “I’m not a statue,” he said dryly, though there was a playful glimmer in his eyes that you had never seen before.

“I mean, I guess I just assumed…” you trailed off, still processing the fact that you had just witnessed Ni-ki laugh.

And then, with a small smile still playing at the corners of his lips, Ni-ki returned to his work, leaving you to sit there.

But one of the most memorable moments between you happened during a study session where, for once, things were going smoothly. You were both focused on your work when a random thought popped into your head, and without thinking, you said it aloud.

“Do you think Professor McGonagall’s animagus form ever accidentally knocks things off tables like a real cat?”

Ni-ki looked up at you, clearly confused. “What?”

You laughed, suddenly realizing how ridiculous the thought sounded. “I mean, she’s a cat, right? What if she just can’t help herself and bats things off desks?”

For a moment, Ni-ki just stared at you, and you thought he was going to tell you off for not focusing. But then, to your utter shock, he started laughing—a real, genuine laugh. It wasn’t loud, but it was pure, and the sound of it made your heart skip a beat.

“Why would you even think of that?” he asked, still chuckling.

You shrugged, grinning. “I don’t know. It just popped into my head.”

Ni-ki shook his head, still smiling. “You’re ridiculous.”

But there was no malice in his words, only a warmth that hadn’t been there before. And in that moment, you realized just how much closer the two of you had become. And seeing him laugh—really laugh—was something you wouldn’t forget anytime soon.

It was a quiet afternoon when it happened. You had just finished another study session in the library with Ni-ki. He had helped you with a particularly difficult problem, and though he was his usual quiet self, you had left feeling a sense of warmth—like things between you were truly starting to shift. Maybe Ni-ki didn’t always show it in public, but you were sure he valued your time together, even if it was mostly in the library.

----------------------------------------

However, as you made your way through the corridors, feeling content from the productive session, a group of girls—Ni-ki’s admirers, if you were honest—blocked your path. Their expressions weren’t friendly, and you could tell right away that something was off.

Before you could say anything, they pushed you into an empty classroom, closing the door behind you. The leader of the group, a girl you recognized as one of Ni-ki’s more obsessive followers, crossed her arms, sneering.

“So,” she began, voice dripping with disdain, “you think you're special, huh? Just because you spend time with Ni-ki in the library?”

You froze, your heart pounding. You didn’t know what to say, so you just stared at them, trying to keep calm.

“Do you actually believe he cares about you?” another one chimed in. “He’s just too polite to tell you to leave him alone.”

You opened your mouth to defend yourself, but the leader cut you off. “Oh, please. He pities you. You should hear the things people say. They’re always wondering why he wastes his time on someone like you.”

Her words hit hard, and before you could stop yourself, you blurted out, “That’s not true. He helps me because he—”

“Because he what?” she interrupted with a cruel laugh. “Because he likes you? Don’t be stupid. He only tolerates you. He never talks to you outside the library, does he?”

They could see the doubt in your eyes, and the girl smirked, sensing victory. “See? You know it’s true. If he really liked you, why would he act like you don’t exist when you’re not sitting across from him in the library?”

That made you pause. It was true—Ni-ki never approached you in the halls, never spoke to you outside of your library sessions. He barely acknowledged you in class unless it was absolutely necessary. Even when you saw him with his friends, he acted as if you didn’t exist.

You stayed silent, unable to find an answer. The doubts they were planting in your mind started to grow roots, wrapping around your thoughts and pulling you into a spiral of overthinking.

“He probably thinks you’re a burden,” one of the girls said with a mocking laugh. “I mean, why else would he avoid you in front of his friends? He doesn’t want them to see him hanging out with someone like you.”

The words stung, each one cutting deeper than the last. You tried to fight back, tried to tell yourself that Ni-ki’s quiet nature didn’t mean he didn’t care, but their accusations fed into your worst fears. What if you really were just a burden to him? What if he did pity you, and that’s why he never spoke to you outside of your study sessions?

You kept quiet, and they could see they had hit their mark.

“Face it,” the leader said, stepping closer with a satisfied smirk. “Ni-ki feels sorry for you. You’re nothing to him.”

They left you there in the empty classroom, their mocking laughter echoing in the halls as they disappeared. You stood frozen in place, your thoughts swirling with doubt and confusion, questioning everything you thought you knew about Ni-ki and your growing connection with him.

You bit your lip, holding back the sting of tears. You didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of seeing you cry, but the words had already wormed their way into your head. Why did he only talk to you in the library? Why didn’t he ever approach you outside of that space? You thought you had gotten closer to him, but maybe you had been wrong all along.

That one question kept repeating in your mind: Why didn’t he talk to you outside of the library?

After that confrontation in the empty classroom, you couldn’t shake the words that had been thrown at you. The girls' taunts, the doubts they had planted in your mind—they echoed endlessly, gnawing at your thoughts and twisting everything you thought you knew about your relationship with Ni-ki. Every time you walked through the halls, you felt a strange weight on your chest.

You began to pull away, slowly at first. It started with cutting your library sessions shorter. Where once you might have lingered for hours, speaking to Ni-ki about anything and everything, now you found yourself packing up your things earlier, offering hurried excuses about homework or other commitments. Ni-ki would glance at you but never say much, and his silence only added to your doubts. It was almost like he didn’t notice your growing distance, or maybe, you thought bitterly, he didn’t care enough to ask.

The distance grew wider as the days passed. You started skipping your library sessions altogether, avoiding the places you knew Ni-ki would be. The once-familiar space where the two of you had shared quiet moments now felt like a weight, a place filled with uncertainty and confusion. You didn’t know what to make of your feelings, or of Ni-ki’s. Were you really just a burden to him? Did he pity you, as they had said?

It hurt too much to face him, so you stopped trying.

In the hallways, you could feel his gaze on you. Even if you weren’t looking, you knew when Ni-ki was nearby. It was as if some invisible thread still tied the two of you together, but now it felt frayed and fragile, a connection you didn’t know how to mend. You passed by him in the corridors, your head down, avoiding his eyes at all costs. In the Great Hall, you chose seats far away from where he and his Slytherin friends sat. But somehow, it didn’t matter. You could feel his eyes on you from across the room, his gaze following your every move, and each time, it sent a wave of guilt crashing over you.

You never looked back at him, though. You couldn’t.

You skipped classes you shared with him. It started with one or two missed lectures, but eventually, it became a pattern. Without him, you struggled, barely scraping by with borrowed notes from friends. They weren’t as clear or detailed as Ni-ki’s notes, but they would have to do. You couldn’t bring yourself to ask him for help again.

Despite all your attempts to avoid him, Ni-ki’s presence lingered everywhere. You didn’t know if it was your mind playing tricks on you, or if he really was watching you more closely now. Whatever it was, you felt more conflicted than ever. You wondered if he noticed your absence, if he cared, but then that gnawing insecurity crept back in, reminding you of what those girls had said. He’s just too polite to tell you to leave him alone.

The more you thought about it, the more you withdrew. Doubts clouded every memory of your time with Ni-ki, twisting your perception of everything he’d done for you—the notes, the help with your studies, the quiet moments you’d shared. What if it had all been one-sided? What if you had been nothing more than a project, a pity case?

And so, you kept your distance, avoiding the boy whose piercing gaze you could no longer bear to meet, and wondering if maybe, in the end, they had been right all along.

-----------------------------------------

You had been so lost in your thoughts, your mind circling around the same questions, the same doubts, that you didn’t even realize where your feet were taking you. It wasn’t until you glanced up that you noticed the dim, cold lighting of the dungeons, the walls lined with stone, and the distant murmur of voices. You froze, recognizing how close you were to the Slytherin dorms.

Instinctively, you were about to turn and head back the way you came when the sound of laughter caught your attention. It was light, warm, and carefree—a sound that felt almost foreign in this part of the castle. Curious, despite yourself, you peeked around the corner.

Your breath caught in your throat.

Standing there, casually leaning against the wall, was Ni-ki. His head was tilted slightly back, his face scrunched up in genuine amusement, his white teeth flashing in a wide grin. He was laughing, his eyes crinkling at the edges, his normally stoic expression completely replaced by something so light and happy that it shocked you. You had never seen him like this before. His laugh, his smile. It made him seem younger, softer, almost…adorable. For a moment, you were completely transfixed, unable to tear your gaze away from him.

But then, your eyes flickered to the people surrounding him. His friends—other Slytherins you recognized—were standing nearby, laughing along with him. Among them, you spotted a few of the girls who had cornered you in the empty classroom, their cruel words still echoing in your mind. The sight of them, standing so close to Ni-ki, chatting and laughing as if everything was normal, sent a jolt of discomfort through you.

And then, before you could react, one of Ni-ki’s friends noticed you. His expression shifted slightly as he leaned in to whisper something in Ni-ki’s ear.

Ni-ki turned.

Your heart dropped.

His gaze locked onto yours from across the hallway, his laughter fading instantly. Your body reacted before your mind could catch up, a gasp escaping your lips as you quickly turned on your heel and speed-walked down the hallway, trying to put as much distance between yourself and that scene as possible.

Your heart was pounding, your thoughts racing. He was laughing with them. With those girls… The image of his bright smile, so carefree, so natural, was seared into your mind, but it was tainted now by the memory of the people surrounding him—the people who had made you doubt everything.

Had he heard what they said? Did he know?

You didn’t wait to find out. All you knew was that you needed to get as far away from the dungeons, and from Ni-ki, as quickly as possible.

You didn’t exactly know how you ended up in the library, but here you were, tucked away in a quiet, hidden corner that no one ever really bothered with. It was your place, somewhere you used to come to study, or more recently, to avoid. The shelves towered above you, enclosing you in their safe, comforting silence, but it did little to ease the heavy weight in your chest.

Wiping away the stray tears that had already started to fall, you slid down to the floor, pulling your knees up to your chest. Your bag dropped beside you with a soft thud, the books spilling out carelessly, but you didn’t bother to pick them up. It felt like too much effort, like you couldn’t muster the energy to do anything but curl in on yourself.

Tears fell freely now, and you buried your face in your arms, trying to muffle the soft sobs that escaped. Everything had just… built up. The confusion, the distance, the hurt from what Ni-ki’s admirers had said, and now seeing him so happy without you. You had tried to tell yourself that it didn’t matter, that he was just a library acquaintance, but the truth was that it did matter. More than you wanted to admit.

The quiet of the library felt like it was pressing down on you, suffocating in its stillness, yet at the same time, it was the only place where you could let go like this. Where no one would see you, no one would ask questions, and no one would tell you that you were being silly for feeling this way.

You cried softly, the hurt you’d been bottling up for so long finally breaking free. The words of those girls echoed in your mind, their sneering voices telling you that Ni-ki pitied you, that he didn’t care, that you were nothing to him. The worst part was that you had started to believe it.

The image of Ni-ki laughing with his friends flashed before your eyes again, and it only deepened the ache in your chest. He seemed so happy, so… distant. And you? You were nothing but a fading presence, something he could ignore outside of your shared library sessions. You had convinced yourself that maybe you had become friends, maybe there was something more, but now, it all felt like a lie.

The sobs came harder now, your chest tightening painfully as you curled further into yourself. You didn’t want to care this much. You didn’t want to feel this way. But here you were, hiding in the shadows of the library, crying over someone you weren’t even sure cared about you at all.

The quiet shuffling beside you broke through your tears, making you look up from your curled position. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw Ni-ki standing right there, holding your bag in his hand, his face full of worry. His usually composed expression was soft, eyebrows knitted together as he searched your face.

"You okay?" he asked, his voice gentle, almost hesitant.

You sniffled, quickly wiping your nose with the back of your sleeve and nodding, though your heart wasn’t in the gesture. You looked away, half-expecting him to leave like always, to walk away and give you space. But instead, you heard him set his bag down. You glanced at him, shocked, as he sat beside you on the floor.

Ni-ki leaned back against the shelves, closing his eyes for a moment before sighing deeply. "I know you’ve been avoiding me," he said, his voice softer than usual, yet it held a vulnerability you weren’t used to hearing from him. He opened his eyes, looking directly at you, and asked, "Did I do something wrong?"

You sat up, startled by his question. "What? No, no, of course you didn’t!" you answered quickly, panic rising in your chest.

He tilted his head slightly, clearly unconvinced. "Then why…" His words trailed off as he sighed again. He looked at you, his expression filled with something close to concern. "Please… tell me. I’m worried about you," he admitted, his voice quiet.

His words made your heart clench. You could see the sincerity in his eyes, and it made it harder to stay quiet. You gulped, trying to steady yourself. This was the moment you had been dreading. You didn’t want to tell him, didn’t want to say the words that had been haunting you since that confrontation. But seeing him here, sitting beside you, waiting for an explanation—it was enough to make you break.

"I…" You began, your voice shaky. "It’s not you, Ni-ki, really. You didn’t do anything wrong." You took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing thoughts. "Some girls… they confronted me, said that you pitied me. That you thought I was a burden… and it got in my head. They asked why you never talk to me outside the library, and… I started wondering if they were right."

Ni-ki’s expression shifted immediately, his brows furrowing in confusion. "What? Why would they say that?"

You shrugged, looking down at your hands. "They said I was stupid for even thinking we were friends… that I didn’t matter to you outside of studying."

There was a long pause, the silence hanging heavily between you. You couldn’t bring yourself to meet his gaze, too afraid of what you might see in his eyes. But then, after what felt like an eternity, Ni-ki’s voice broke the silence.

"That’s not true," he said quietly, his tone firm but gentle. "You’re not a burden. I don’t pity you."

You slowly looked up at him, surprised by the intensity in his gaze. His usual calm exterior was gone, replaced by something raw, something real.

"I didn’t know you felt like that," Ni-ki continued, his voice soft. "I… I just didn’t think you’d want to hang out with me outside the library. I didn’t think I was someone you’d want to be around like that."

Your eyes widened in disbelief. "What? But… you’re always surrounded by people. Why would you think that?"

He laughed softly, shaking his head. "Yeah, people, not friends. Most of them just see me as Ni-ki, the Slytherin prefect or whatever. I don’t… I don’t let people in easily. But you…" He trailed off, searching for the right words. "I guess I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed your company until you started avoiding me."

His words made your heart race, and you couldn’t help but feel a flicker of warmth amidst all the confusion and hurt.

"I’m sorry," you whispered. "I didn’t mean to make assumptions or push you away. I just… I didn’t know what to think."

Ni-ki shook his head, his gaze softening. "It’s okay. I should’ve been more clear with you." He hesitated for a moment, then added, "I want you to know… I don’t just think of you as someone I study with. I…" He trailed off again, his cheeks tinting the faintest shade of pink.

You blinked, caught off guard by the sudden shift in his demeanor. He looked vulnerable, in a way you had never seen before.

"I care about you," he finally said, the words slow and deliberate, as if he had been holding onto them for a long time. "More than you think."

Your breath caught in your throat at his admission. For a moment, you just sat there, staring at him, unsure of how to respond. The sincerity in his voice, the way he was looking at you—it made your chest tighten in a way that was both overwhelming and comforting.

"I…" you started, your voice faltering. You didn’t know what to say, how to express the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you.

But you didn’t have to say anything, because in that moment, Ni-ki smiled at you—genuinely smiled, the corners of his lips turning up, his eyes softening. It was a small, almost shy smile, but it was enough to make you realize that everything you had been overthinking, all the doubts and insecurities, had been for nothing.

Ni-ki cared. He had always cared.

Ni-ki stayed by your side, his presence steady and comforting as you finally let the weight of everything spill out. You told him about the girls, your voice shaky at first, but as you continued, you felt lighter, as though every word lifted a little bit of the burden off your chest. His expression shifted the moment you named them, his brows drawing together in a way you’d never seen before—serious, almost dangerous.

For a moment, you worried that he might storm off, that his calm demeanor would crack and he’d go after them. But instead, he simply listened, his face tight with restrained anger, and when you finished, he surprised you once again.

He opened his arms.

Without a second thought, you slid into his embrace, feeling his warmth surround you, his arms wrapping securely around your back. His chin rested lightly on top of your head, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you smiled—a real, genuine smile.

"They were wrong," he murmured softly, his voice vibrating through his chest. "You mean so much more to me than they could ever understand."

You felt your heart swell at his words, the knot in your stomach slowly unraveling. He didn’t hate you. He never had.

When you finally pulled back from the hug, your gaze met his, and the intensity of his eyes made your breath hitch. His face was still close, his cheeks tinged with the faintest blush. He opened his mouth to say something, but then he paused, swallowing nervously.

"I…" he began, his voice a little shaky. "I need to tell you something." His eyes darted away for a moment before finding yours again, determination setting in. "I’ve been… thinking about this for a while, and I just—" He sighed, clearly flustered. "I don’t know how to say it."

You blinked, taken aback by his sudden vulnerability. Ni-ki, the calm, collected boy who never seemed to let anything rattle him, was stuttering and blushing, his usual composure unraveling before your eyes.

"I-I like you," he blurted out, his face now fully red. "A lot. I have for a while, but I didn’t know how to say it. I’m not good at this stuff, and I didn’t want to make things weird between us, but when you started avoiding me, I—"

He was rambling now, his words spilling out in a rush, and you could tell he was struggling to keep up with his own thoughts. It was so unlike him, seeing him this vulnerable, this unsure. It was endearing.

Before he could continue, you acted on impulse, reaching up to gently cup his face and pulling him toward you. His eyes widened in surprise just before your lips met his.

For a split second, you could feel his shock, his body freezing beneath your touch. But then, just as quickly, he melted into the kiss, his hands coming up to cup the sides of your face, pulling you closer. His lips were soft, hesitant at first, but then the kiss deepened, his movements growing more sure, more confident. He held you like you were something precious, something he didn’t want to let go of.

The world seemed to disappear around you, the weight of everything that had been bothering you fading away in the warmth of his embrace. It was just you and Ni-ki, the soft press of his lips against yours, the way he held you like he’d been waiting for this moment for longer than either of you realized.

When you finally pulled back, your heart was racing, your face warm from the intensity of the moment. Ni-ki stared at you, his lips slightly parted, still processing what had just happened.

"I… uh…" He blinked, his usual calm demeanor shattered, and it made you smile.

"That was your way of saying you like me too, huh?" he asked with a sheepish grin, his thumb brushing softly against your cheek.

You laughed softly, nodding. "Yeah… I like you too, Ni-ki."

His smile widened, this time filled with a mixture of relief and happiness. "I’m glad," he said softly, his voice warm and full of sincerity.

For a moment, you both just sat there, basking in the newfound closeness, the tension that had been between you for weeks dissolving into something sweet, something real.

"Let’s forget about those girls," he murmured after a while, his forehead resting gently against yours. "They don’t know what they’re talking about. All that matters is you and me, okay?"

You nodded, your heart full. "Okay."


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11 months ago

sacred monsters: masterlist

Sacred Monsters: Masterlist

pairing: lee heeseung x f reader

genre: academic rivals to lovers, vampire au, slow burn

see individual parts for warnings & word count!

soundtrack: still monster / moonstruck / lucifer - enhypen / everybody wants to rule the world - tears for fears / immortal - marina / supermassive black hole - muse / saturn - sleeping at last / everybody’s watching me (uh oh) - the neighbourhood

⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖

A literature student in your third year of university, you’ve been dreaming of having your writing published for as long as you can remember. With a perfect opportunity dangling at your fingertips, the only obstacle that stands in your way comes in the form of a ridiculously tall, stupidly handsome, and unfortunately, very talented writer by the name of Lee Heeseung. Unwilling to let your dream slip out of reach, you commit to being better than the aforementioned pain in your ass at absolutely everything.

But when a string of vampire attacks strikes close to your city for the first time in nearly two hundred years, publishing is suddenly the last thing on your mind. And, as you soon begin to discover, Heeseung may not quite be the person you thought he was.

⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖

part one / 19.3k / released 08.03.2024

part two / 12.4k / released 08.08.2024

part three / 22.3k / released 08.12.2024

to be continued…

⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖


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11 months ago

୨୧ ❛ ENHYPEN HYUNG LINE REACTION WHEN YOU CALL THEM A PETNAME IN FRONT OF THEIR MEMBERS

 ENHYPEN HYUNG LINE REACTION WHEN YOU CALL THEM A PETNAME IN FRONT OF THEIR MEMBERS
 ENHYPEN HYUNG LINE REACTION WHEN YOU CALL THEM A PETNAME IN FRONT OF THEIR MEMBERS
 ENHYPEN HYUNG LINE REACTION WHEN YOU CALL THEM A PETNAME IN FRONT OF THEIR MEMBERS

﹙ 𝓹𝐥𝐨𝐭 ♡𝓹𝐫é𝐜𝐢𝐬 enha hyung line x fem!r. 𖥔fluff, headcanons ot7 works one shot wordcount` 700. 𓈃 ◌⠀⠀˖ 𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐕𝐄 𓏵⠀

 ENHYPEN HYUNG LINE REACTION WHEN YOU CALL THEM A PETNAME IN FRONT OF THEIR MEMBERS

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆 (이희승)

heeseung’s eyes widen in surprise when you casually call him “baby” in front of the other members. his cheeks immediately flush a soft pink as he glances around, hoping no one heard. unfortunately, sunghoon smirks and jake lets out a teasing whistle, while jungwon raises an eyebrow in amusement. "did you just...?" heeseung stammers, scratching the back of his neck, trying to play it cool but clearly flustered. you smile sweetly at him, completely unbothered. “what? you are my baby,” you tease, making him groan softly in embarrassment. "not in front of the guys," he mutters, voice low, though the shy smile tugging at his lips betrays his true feelings. despite the teasing, you can tell he secretly loves it. the other members keep poking fun at him, but heeseung just leans in closer to you, whispering, “you’re lucky i love you.”

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐀𝐘 (박종성)

jay freezes for a second when you call him “love” in front of the members. his ears turn a little red, but he quickly recovers, trying to play it off coolly. "did you just call him love?" sunoo snickers, and niki grins widely. jay shoots them a half-hearted glare but can’t hide the small, proud smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “what? she’s allowed to,” he says, trying to sound nonchalant, but there’s a hint of softness in his voice. you giggle, leaning closer to him, “you like it, don’t you, love?” his face turns even redder, and he sighs, covering his face with his hand, but you catch the way his eyes sparkle behind them. “maybe,” he mutters under his breath, clearly enjoying the attention despite his embarrassment. the members keep teasing him, but jay just wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer as if to say he doesn’t mind at all.

𝐒𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐄 (심재윤)

jake’s eyes light up instantly when you casually call him “baby” in front of the members. he flashes you his signature bright smile, completely unfazed, but the guys aren’t about to let it slide. “baby, huh?” sunghoon teases, raising an eyebrow, while heeseung lets out a playful laugh. jake just grins wider, clearly loving the attention. “yeah, what about it?” he says confidently, giving you a quick wink that makes your heart flutter. you can’t help but giggle at how easily he handles the teasing. “so cheesy,” jungwon chuckles, shaking his head. jake shrugs, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you closer. “i don’t care, i like it,” he says, his voice warm and genuine. you blush at his boldness, and despite the teasing, the other members smile at how happy he looks, knowing he’s completely smitten.

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍 (박성훈)

sunghoon freezes the moment you call him “babe” in front of the members, his eyes going wide as he processes what just happened. jay is the first to snicker, followed by niki, who barely holds back a laugh. “did you just call him babe?” sunoo teases, a grin spreading across his face. sunghoon’s ears turn bright red, and he stammers, “wh-what? no—i mean, yes, but…” he’s clearly flustered, trying to avoid the members’ teasing looks, but you can see the hint of a shy smile forming. “you don’t like it?” you ask innocently, leaning closer. he glances at you, cheeks still flushed, and mutters, “i didn’t say that.” despite the embarrassment, he softly bumps his shoulder against yours, as if to let you know he secretly enjoys it. the members continue to tease him, but sunghoon stays close to you, trying to hide his blush but clearly loving every second of it.


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