As We Approach The Final Days Of Summer, The Local Fennypig Population Has Reached Its Most Vibrant Form,

As we approach the final days of summer, the local fennypig population has reached its most vibrant form, in what must be one last hurrah for warm weather and flowers. I've never seen such a variety of fennypigs all in one place! You can find these summertime companions in the shop tonight (8/25) at 5 pm EST!

Imagine them using their civilian personas to do so because atp they honestly dc, and the batfam not knowing till they like go to a restaurant and the manager sees them and welcomes them like "If it isn't our dearests Tim and Damian, why didn't you tell us you were coming? Please come over here, we have an area for special guests we'll make sure nobody disturbs you"

And it's way funnier because f'ing Bruce Wayne is there but the manager doesn't care abt him and everyone is like ???

And the manager remembers smth and is like "Oh right! I forgot to welcome you to T&D's dinner, the best food stablishment in the area" and she seems apologetic to Tim and Damian and is like "I'm sorry we haven't been able to change our name yet, you know how this procedures are blah blah blah" and everyone gets even more confused.

Mind you, Tim and Damian don't even bother to clarify.

And everyone wonders abt that till months later Duke finds an add from them, smth like "T&D professional detectives, you are frightened? We are enlightened"

And there's a photo of Tim and Damian (& Titus with one of Bruce's ties obv to make him look sophisticated) with those horrible glittery frames and a set of all of their successful jobs (obv everything is written with Comic sans because it started as a joke till it wasn't) which include some like...

-Uncovering the Loch Ness Monster

-Beating Dracula in a Chess Game

-Giving Free therapy to Frankenstein

-Making the best sandwich ever created (For Jesus)

-Professional Exorcism

-Preventing a war from happening

-Marriage counseling

And the list goes on and on, with some very questionable ones (like that's not even being a detective anymore) but I mean their job works so...

Bonus points if Bernard was actually included, he not only was the driver but also as Damian puts it a very "Competent" detective, and so when everyone questions them keeping it a secret they're like "But it wasn't a secret? Bernard was also there..." (the only reason he's not in the add being they had already finished it when Bernard became part of the team, hence they were lazy enough no to make another and Bernard is a really chill guy so he didn't mind, he was just happy to be with Tim.)

I AM NOW OBSESSED WITH THE IDEA OF TIM AND DAMIAN DRIVING FROM CITY TO CITY WITH TITUS AND GETTING INTO SHENANIGANS LIKE THE SCOOBY GANG AND HAVING TO SOLVE STUPID MYSTERIES IN EACH NEW CITY

PLEASE IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES

IT WOULD BE GLORIOUS

Tim would be tryna set all sorts of dumb traps and Damian is like “it’s so obvious it’s the underpaid teacher” and they keep a tally of who’s right and whoever is right gets to pick the next city

Also just imagine Damian being called a “meddling kid” Tim would have to hold him back from punching someone

Somehow their adventures lead to them becoming honorary mayors in several towns, getting several keys to cities, and having 5 restaurants and diners named after them, and on one honorable occasion a town made a statue of Titus to commemorate him

why would i netflix and chill when i can ao3 and sin

LECHONK!!