ZIPPER

ZIPPER

PAIRING: minho x fem!reader GENRE: smut. fluff. established relationship. CONTENT: 18+ only. shy reader. marking. desperation. mutual obsession. unprotected intercourse. biting. body worship. overstimulation. mention of violence. oral (m. rec). WORD COUNT: 4.3k

NOTE: yeah it’s my birthday tomorrow and i wrote this as a gift to myself. @lino-nyangi​ and @tasteracha​ encouraged this. no other comment at this time.

SUMMARY: when your boyfriend asks you what you want for your birthday, only one thing comes to mind. you want to dress him in an outfit of your choosing.

PART ONE | DRABBLE: SWEAT | PART TWO

You’re backed up against the wall when the door opens, mentally preparing yourself for seeing him in the outfit you’d picked out. He’d laughed as you’d explained what you wanted for your birthday, eyes on the floor at the embarrassment of it all. You wanted to go out and pick an outfit and have him wear it for you. He only ever wore baggy pants, t-shirts and hoodies. You love him in whatever he wore but he never showed off all the work he’d put in at the gym. Despite his relentless teasing at your request, he’d agreed. Of course he agreed. He always did. He might act like everything was the biggest inconvenience he’d ever faced in his life, but he hadn’t turned you down once since you’d been together. You’d learned that’s just how he was. He never wanted anyone to know how much he cared. 

He looks up at you the moment the bedroom door shuts behind him, tugging his pants up his waist a little. You press your lips together as he looks at you expectantly. 

“Well?” he prompts.

Lanjutkan membaca

☆ house ☆ #D3

"Ah... baby...you don't- fuck- you don't have to-" Chan tries to tell you. It's his instinct to first politely reject any form of kindness from anyone. That's how much of a gentleman he is.

And that includes getting a blowjob from you. Even when he knows very well he deserves more than just his dick in your mouth because he had just told you the surprise he's been keeping from you.

A house. He bought a house. For you. For the both of you.

"I want to," you say, fishing his half hard cock from his neatly pressed black slacks. "Wanna make you feel good. You bought a house. For us. You deserve more than just a blowjob."

Chan gulps at that. Chan loves giving. He's a giver. Be it in or out of bed. He prefers it, really.

But there's just something really hot about you being so determined to make him feel good.

"More?" Chan questions. This is already so much to him. You, so pretty on your knees, hands trying their best to grip onto his toned thighs so that he won't be able to run away.

He could move, really. He's a lot stronger than you. He could easily pull you up and make you sit on his lap, give you a soft lecture on how he doesn't need you to return any favours.

He just loves you. A lot. And he wants to have a place to call home with you. It's as simple as that.

But his brain is a mush. He's never seen you this determined before. So pretty. So fucking beautiful.

"Yes, more. First, we're gonna make you cum in my mouth," you tell him, thumb running over the tip of his cock, making him unintentionally buck his hips up, sensitive at your soft touch.

You giggle at him. So fucking cute.

"Your cock will be super sensitive but still be hard enough. So, I'm gonna fuck myself onto it. This big thing is just so wonderful, isn't it?" you continue, making Chan groan and moan so loud when you lick his cockhead.

"Baby fuck," he breathes, hands automatically threading through your hair in instinct.

You smile at him, loving how he's trying really hard to let you take the lead. You know he loves being the one giving instead of receiving but you really want to show him how much you appreciate him and his whole existence.

"And then we're gonna make you cum again. Inside me. And I'll let you fuck me on every surface of this house. Every single one. Anywhere you want to. We'll start here. On the couch-"

"Bed. Bed. Wanna- wanna fuck you on the bed first."

Chan's face is red. But he can't help it. As pussydrunk as he is, he can't let anywhere else be the first place he gets to fuck you. It has to be the bed. Your first official shared bed.

"Okay, baby. The bed it is. Anything for you. Anything for my wonderful boyfriend. Bought me a house and all, hmm? Gotta give you what you want."

You stand up, slowly letting go of his cock, letting it slap against his abs.

"I'm gonna be such a good girl for you, Channie. Gonna be the perfect wife for you."

Chan nearly chokes at that. Wife. Fuck. Fuck. He wants to marry you so bad. What the fuck are you doing to him?

"Don't tease," he mutters, groaning as he feels more precum oozing from his tip.

"You like it. You like it when I call myself your little wifey. Is that what you told the realtor, baby? That you're buying this house for your wife?"

You can't help it. He's too cute. Oh you would love to marry him when the time is right.

"Wife," Chan breathes, the word rolling from his tongue sounding so natural. "My wife," he says again, head already going dumb just from imagining that future with you.

"I'm here," you say softly, noticing how Chan is a little out of it. It makes you smile. "You'll be a good husband and make me a mommy, right?" you tease him again, knowing it's his ultimate weakness - breeding you.

Chan whimpers. "I can go raw tonight?"

"You can, baby."

"You'll keep my cum inside?"

"I will. Promise."

"Cockwarm?"

"Anything you want."

"Wanna buy you another house."

"Chan!"

BURN...... BURN.....TOOO HOT

Felix is hot in here👄💀

Random one shot idea? Secret boyfriend lix 👀

Reader and Felix are having a steamy make out session on the sofa and they end up getting caught by everyone after they came home from their schedules. This causes Reader and Felix to rush into Felix’s bedroom and they end up fucking due to the fact that they both got turned on by getting caught?

- had this stuck in my head all week 😩🫣

~Steamy~

Pairing: Felix x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Brothers Best Friend

Warnings: 18+, Smut, under 18 DNI!, pet names, Suggestive Themes, Swearing, Overstimulation, | explicit smut, confessions, fluff, cum play, riding

Word Count: 6.3k

Note: Really liked that idea and wrote it late at night. Hope you like it!

That you were annoyed was an understatement.

On a Saturday night that you were supposed to be spending with friends, completely wasted in a club and making out wildly with some guy in a corner, you were now on your way to your brother's dorm to bring him his stupid headphones, since he didn't seem to be able to survive without them. Then why he had left them at your house was a good question.

Since he and his band were already flying to Japan tomorrow night for a concert, he had begged you to bring the headphones over since he was busy with his schedule all day and being the good sister that you were, you had of course agreed and drove the three hours to see him. Plus, he had promised to buy you the special edition of your favorite video game that just had been released.

So now you were standing outside the front door, headphones in your bag and with a queasy feeling towards the sky that seemed to be getting darker by the second. It was noon, in the middle of the day, and yet with the inky black clouds, a doomsday mood was gathering that made you gulp.

"Hello?" you heard a very familiar and recognizable voice through the speakerphone.

"Hey Felix. It's me. Y/N. I'm dropping something off for Ji."

"Oh. Yea. I'll open right up."

He sounded tired. His voice raspy and you immediately got goosebumps. Felix had always been the one of your brother's friends who made you blush the most. He was so kind, loving and charming. It was easy to get lost in his eyes or imagine how his plush lips would feel on your skin. Everyone thought about that, right? Just as the door opened, the first drop of rain hit you. You ran up the stairs and there the sunshine on two legs was already waiting for you. He was casually leaning on the door frame, smiling his charming smile and you were left breathless for a moment.

Even though it seemed like he had just gotten up, his dark hair a mess, his face still slightly puffy and him dressed only in sweatpants and a hoodie, he looked stunningly beautiful.

"Hey princess. Out so early?" he asked with amusement, spreading his arms to hug you in greeting. He had given you that nickname on the second day you had met. Jisung had taken the audacity of showing him and Hyunjin really old pictures of you dressed up as a princess, running around the playground. It was embarrassing and you had punched Jisung hard in the side, but since then Felix kept calling you that.

"Hey Lix... It's already noon you sleepyhead."

You hugged him briefly, taking in his engaging scent. He smelled of ripe strawberries and fresh mint. It was impossible for a man to be so perfect.

You looked over his shoulder into the apartment, but you couldn't hear the usual noises. Normally it was loud and chaotic in the dorm, but right now it was quiet. That was kind of strange.

"Come in!" he said and let you go ahead. That's when you noticed that there was actually no one here.

"Where is Jisung? He begged me to bring him his things."

Felix led you into the living room and ran his hand through his hair.

"Oh. I didn't know that. Everyone else isn't here either. I'm by myself. Chan, Changbin, and Ji should be at the studio. The rest have gone shopping."

"Oh..." you muttered curtly, glancing around the living room. It was relatively tidy, compared to the last few times you'd been here. Except for the piles of clothes laying everywhere.

When your eyes met Felix again, he quickly averted his gaze and cleared his throat.

Had he been staring?

"Can I offer you something? Do you want some tea or coffee? Something to eat?" he asked, his words coming faster than usual. Puzzled, you looked down at yourself. Was there something on your face? Did he think the white dress was strange? You actually liked it, as it showed off your cleavage a bit and sat tight on your hips.

"Tea would be great," you said, smiling a little in wonder. It struck you then that you'd never been alone with Felix before. He was never so insecure in front of the other guys. He usually flirted with you for fun, was outgoing and laughed a lot. But now he seemed to be restless. He nodded quickly and pointed to the sofa where a controller was lying. There was a video game paused on the TV.

"Sit down. I'll bring it to you."

Then he walked to the kitchen, but paused again and just as you were about to sit down, he said:

"You look stunning, by the way! That dress suits you very well."

Before you could react he had disappeared into the kitchen. Embarrassed, you tried to push back the blush that spread across your cheeks.

Shortly after, he returned with two steaming cups of tea and handed you one before sitting down next to you.

"When will Ji be back?" you asked, setting the tea down so it could cool.

"I don't know... They wanted to take care of something, record demos, before we take the flight tomorrow."

His knee brushed yours as he leaned forward to set his cup down as well.

"You can wait here... I wouldn't let you drive back home in this weather anyway."

His words snapped you out of your thoughts, which were only centered around the touch of your legs. Then you noticed that the rain was beating mercilessly against the windows and a thunderstorm was raging outside. Lightning lit up the sky and shortly after, thunder growled like an angry dragon.

"You're probably right," you replied, pulling your legs up on the sofa. It was comfortable and pleasant to be alone with Felix. In fact it was always amazing being around him. But there was this nerve-wracking pounding in your chest that wouldn't go away and it got worse every time he looked at you.

"Sooo what were you playing?" you finally asked, pointing at the TV.

"Nothing special. Trying to play Genshin Impact again."

Curious, you nodded and spotted the second controller lying on the table.

"Cool. What's your AR?"

Puzzled, his eyes grew wide and he leaned forward a bit.

"Currently at 56... You know about that? Do you play too?"

Amused, you nodded. In fact, you had never talked about it before. You knew that Felix was a passionate gamer, but that you shared his passion had never been a topic.

"I'm still at AR54 at the moment. But I haven't been playing that long either."

He grinned so wide your stomach did flips.

"Wow. I didn't know that! What else do you play?"

You began chatting excitedly about your passion, sharing games, and oddly enough, you shared the exact same habits, favorites, and experiences. It was nice to share with someone the hobby that so many people demonized. After some time, Felix pointed to the second controller.

"Do you want to play something?"

With rosy cheeks you nodded and shortly thereafter you did one race after the next on Mario Kart. Quickly you were in your element, became competitive and tried to outdo the other. In the beginning Felix won all the time, eventually it became more and more even. You cheered, yelled at each other, and laughed out loud when you beat the other one or someone drifted off the track.

You didn't know how much time had passed, but it must have been hours and your stomach was already hurting from laughing. That's when you tried to take away his view of the screen by getting in front of him to finish ahead of him after all.

"Hey that's not fair!" he shouted.

"This is Mario Kart! There's nothing fair about it!" you retorted.

"Really?"

Before you realized it, he grabbed you by the hips and pulled you off your feet. With a squeak, you fell onto his lap before you could stop it. He wrapped his arms around your waist and continued to play with you on his lap as if nothing had happened. Your heart was pounding as your legs were pressed against his and his chest against your back. You smelled his intoxicating scent and felt his skin directly on yours. For a moment you forgot to play and were only sucked back into reality when he laughed triumphantly as he passed you.

Quickly you continued to play, but you could hardly concentrate. He made no effort to let you off his lap, pinching your sides in between to distract you and even pulling you closer to his chest in between. When he was about to win, you grabbed his controller and ripped it out of his hand to hold it above your head.

"You really play unfair!" he laughed, trying to get the controller, but you just held it higher. A dangerous glint entered his eyes and you felt his hand on your thigh, holding you tight to reach the controller. You tried to dodge, but lost your balance. Panicked, you rowed your arms, but Felix had already caught you by the waist and within a blink, you were on your back, Felix above you, trying to reach your hand.

Your breath caught as he landed between your legs, his chest firmly on yours, his face just a finger's width from yours.

By now you didn't care about the controller and Felix also froze in motion when he noticed the position you landed in. He stared into your eyes, his mouth slightly open, his cheeks reddened under the cute freckles.

He supported himself next to your head so that he wouldn't crush you with his weight, and yet you felt his body heat so intensely that your whole body tingled.

It seemed like he wanted to say something, but his throat was tight. His eyes traveled down your face, to your lips, then down your body.

One strap of had slipped off your shoulders, the hem of your dress had also ridden up so that he could see a glimpse of your white panties and felt your soft thighs against his hips.

Immediately he imagined what it would be like to feel your body even closer. All the pent-up tension between you seemed to be stretched to breaking point and as soon as his gaze wandered back up and met yours, you wanted to ask what you were doing. You didn't get the chance to do that, because his lips were already crushing against yours. With a clatter, the controller slipped out of your hand and fell to the floor. But you both didn't hear that anymore.

Your head shut off, the tension exploded, and your hands were buried in his hair before you could close your eyes to return the kiss.

His hands traveled down your sides, resting firmly on your hips, pulling you closer to him until your legs were wrapped tightly around his hips. He tasted like cotton candy and peach tea. It was overwhelming. Again and again your lips met hard. Your fingers played with his soft hair, running over his neck until he growled into your mouth and the heat shot into each of your limbs as he bit your lower lip, his hands finding their way under your dress and pushing it further up until he could grab your ass and feel your soft skin between his fingers. Gasping, you rolled your hips against his, feeling what you had done to him in that short time.

Whimpering loudly as your middle met his hard length directly, he slid his tongue into your mouth. It was hot, sensual and it left you hooked for more. He licked hungrily into your mouth, your tongues met and his hands on your bare skin drove you crazy. When he briefly broke away from you after what seemed like an eternity and pressed his forehead against yours, breathing heavily, you both grinned.

"Fuck... I've wanted to do that for ages," he whispered in such a low voice that the heat between your legs became unbearable. You slid your hands under his hoodie, feeling his warm skin under your fingertips, enjoying the way his hard abs rose and fell with his breath.

"Really?" you asked breathlessly, pushing the hoodie up a little until he pulled it over his head and you finally saw his trained torso. You nearly drooled at the sight as he ran his hands through his hair and leaned over you again to press a kiss to your jawline.

"Oh yeah. Do you know how hard I've been since you started wiggling in that short dress on my lap the last hour?"

You exhaled audibly as you felt his length through the fabric of his pants clearly against the wet stain in your panties.

"Then do something about it," you replied challengingly, smiling slightly as he gasped as your fingers trailed down his belly to the waistband of his pants.

"Jisung is going to kill me," he murmured, kissing the sensitive spot behind your ear. His lips brushed over your heated skin, spreading wet kisses down your neck until you could barely form a sentence.

"I want you, Lixi," you gasped, fingers tangled in his hair as he sucked on your neck, one hand cupping your breast and squeezing it. Briefly he paused, gazing at you piercingly.

"Are you sure, sweetheart?"

Quickly, you nodded.

"Yes. Yes! Please Lixi!"

When you called him that, he could hardly resist. Overwhelmed, he kissed you again stormily, kneading your breast and rubbing his length through his pants on your now soaked cunt until you moaned into each other's mouths.

Slowly he kissed down your neck, spreading kisses all over your chest and moving agonizingly further down until his head hovered between your thighs. The sight alone would have been enough to make you come. His pupils were dilated, his hair fell into his eyes and he hungrily pushed your legs further apart to finally get a glimpse of the wet spot on your panties.

"Oh god... So gorgeous..."

He pushed your dress up until it sat above your hips and kissed your inner thighs. He didn't neglect either side as he did so. His soft lips so close to the spot that was desperately throbbing made you bite your lip so hard you saw stars.

Then he pressed a kiss right on your cunt, eliciting a naughty moan from you. Quickly you grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back up to you, where he looked into your eyes in confusion. Breathing heavily, you tried to calm your pulse.

"Are you all right?" he asked worriedly, gently brushing a strand of hair from your face.

"Yes... Yes really. It's just. You're making me crazy and it's so just a lot right now," you said in a brittle voice. You didn't want him to think that you didn't want this. You have never wanted anything more in your life, only right now everything in you was vibrating. You were afraid that the moment would be over too quickly and you wouldn't be able to enjoy it enough. The corners of his mouth lifted again in relief and he cupped your face with both hands to press his lips to yours again. This time harder, but slower. You instantly felt dizzy.

Against your lips he whispered:

"I know what you mean. We can take our time."

Scarcely nodding, you guided his hands to your breasts as an invitation that you belonged only to him right now. It was a promise. A promise that made you feel safe and comfortable. You wanted his touch everywhere and you couldn't get enough. With a throaty sound, he sucked on your neck and pushed down your dress in parallel to free your tits.

"No bra huh? Were you planning on driving me crazy today?" he growled against your ear, eliciting a whimper as he twirled your nipple between his fingers.

You could only moan his name as he was already taking your nipple into his mouth and sinking his teeth into your soft flesh, his hand kneading a handful of your ass. You groped each other all over, falling over each other like ravenous animals, until a startled cry interrupted your makeout session.

"HOLY SHIT! No way… He didn't... Han… Jisung!"

Before you could react or even realize that Lee Know had come into the room, the snitch had already alerted your brother. Everything happened so fast that Felix was just able to remove his mouth from your skin when Han was already standing in the room, eyes wide open and stunned by the situation he had just burst into. With his mouth open and a deep crease on his forehead, he was obviously trying to find words. While you were adjusting your dress, Felix climbed down from you and both of you were in complete shock. Your cheeks glowed and your stomach turned as your brother's other roommates gradually came into the room as well. Even if you wanted to, you couldn't have lied. It was obvious what the two of you, half naked, had done or almost done on top of each other. Rattling your breath, you ran your hand through your hair and just wanted to disappear into the ground.

Felix stood up carefully, picked up his hoodie from the floor, and then looked at Han. Always on guard, as if he might jump on him at any moment.

"Are you kidding me right now?" it finally burst out of Jisung, his eyes flickering with anger. The rest of the guys remained silent and seemed to observe for now.

"Han, listen, that's not...", Felix tried, as gentle as ever, but Han rumbled directly:

"That's my sister man! Are you serious?"

They stared at each other in silence and no one really knew what to do. Seungmin was the first to smirk, and then Hyunjin snorted.

Warningly, Han looked at the others and then at you. Hyunjin and I.N both had to turn away as they exchanged a look to keep from laughing aloud.

"Relax, Ji! Nothing happened!"

You tried to soothe him and by now you had to stifle your laughter as well. The situation was just too surreal.

"Not yet..." muttered Felix and everyone stared at him, stunned. By now, even he couldn't hide his grin and that gave Han the rest.

"You little rat! I swear to god, if I catch you…!" he threatened and before he could chase him, Felix grabbed your hand and pulled you off the couch and into the hallway. Han jumped over the couch behind you and followed. But you were faster. You giggled like crazy as Felix pulled his bedroom door shut behind you and locked it.

With a rattling breath you stopped by the bed and heard your brother raging behind the door.

"Felix I swear if you don't open that door right now, I‘ll kill you!“

"Sorry bro!" he exclaimed, glaring at you with amusement.

"Y/N!" you heard Han shout, but his resistance subsided.

"Fuck off, Ji!" you shouted, and that's when he just grumbled.

"Come on, Han. Let's leave her alone. She's old enough," you heard Chan calming him.

"Let the two of them have their fun,"Changbin agreed with him, and they seemed to pull him away from the door.

Felix dropped onto his bed and looked up at you with a wide grin. Even though it was weird and the adrenaline was rushing in your ears, the tension between you was only more intense.

"Sorry," he said, pulling you closer by the thighs until you were standing between his legs.

You stroked his soft hair and tilted your head a little thoughtfully.

"We can forget about the whole thing if you want," you murmured.

He stroked the back of your thighs until he took the curve of your butt in his hands.

"What, no way. Now that I've finally made it? I've had a crush on you for ages. Actually since the first day you walked into our trainee room.“

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Surprised, you looked at him. You had been in love with him forever, but you thought he only saw you as his friend's sister, at best a random friend. But how he looked at you now. Full of desire and affection made thousands of butterflies flutter in your stomach. Dreamily you stroked a few strands of hair out of his eyes and the smile wouldn't disappear from your lips.

"Are you serious?" you asked for good measure. Even if you weren't. You were so addicted to him that he could do anything with you. He nodded and his eyes were honest, his features soft and beautiful.

"Do you want me to prove it to you, sweetheart?" He purred and pulled you closer. Breathlessly you nodded and there he began to take off your dress. You helped him and threw it aside, until you stood only in your panties between his legs. Attentively, almost carefully, he took off your panties and let his gaze wander up and down your naked body, as if he had never seen a more beautiful work of art.

"You're even more beautiful than I imagined," he murmured, more to himself, and his hands touched your thighs, your hips, your belly, as if you might break if he didn't appreciate your body enough. He took in every detail and you felt special and desired under his gaze.

Then he brushed his lips over your belly, your thighs, kissing every patch of skin he could reach. Only the heat between your legs where you needed him so badly, he left out. Overwhelmed, you watched him and when he pushed your legs a little apart, your body tensed with longing. You could hardly stand it any longer. You had to feel his body, otherwise you would go crazy. He closed his hands tightly around your thighs and looked up at you, caught in the trance of passion.

"May I?" he asked gently, and you nodded. But he let his thumbs circle over your skin and smiled.

"I need words, angel."

"Yes! Yes please!" it burst out of you in a trembling voice and there he finally touched the wet heat throbbing between your legs with his lips. First he carefully closed his lips around your clit, finally he sucked on it, which almost swept you off your feet. With a loud moan, you tangled your fingers in his hair and as he licked a wide strip across your pussy, your knees went soft as butter. He licked, sucked and worked your cunt for what felt like an eternity. Growled softly over and over again:

"Beautiful... So good..." and you feared collapsing at any moment as he buried his face deeper inside you, which is why you finally pulled his head back by the hair. He looked up at you with sparkling eyes, his lips and chin shiny from your juices and he seemed addicted to the next dose. But you wouldn't be able to take it anymore. Not with the sight of his perfect body, the angelic face that was full of lust just looking at you.

"Fuck... I can't... Lix I need you. Now!" it escaped you and the throaty laughter of him, gave you the rest.

"Are you that crazy about me, kitten?" he teased and oh he knew what he was doing to you. Shaking your head, you pushed him back onto the bed.

"Take off your pants!" you ordered impatiently and he threw them aside as fast as he could. A liberated sigh escaped him as his cock sprang free. His tip looked painfully red and you had to force yourself not to stare. It was huge and would break you apart, but it was exactly as beautiful as the rest of him. You could hardly wait.

Quickly you climbed over him, supported yourself on his shoulders and as you lined up with him, your eyes met. Slowly you sank down onto him. As his tip entered you, your whole body tingled. A sigh escaped you as he stretched you already, but the burn was pleasant, almost intoxicating.

His hands were firmly on your hips while he continued to look you in the eyes. Wanting to witness every second he urged into you.

"Oh God," you whimpered, digging your fingers into his shoulders as he disappeared halfway inside you.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" he asked, sounding out of breath as well. Quickly you nodded and that's when he grabbed hold of your hips, gently but firmly pushing you further onto his cock when you could barely do it anymore by yourself.

"So good for me... Taking me all in. You feel amazing, babe," he praised you as you drifted further and further away. Finally, he was all the way inside you and you felt dizzy as he bit and sucked on your bottom lip, waiting for you to get used to his size. Slowly, sensually, you returned the kiss, sighing into his mouth until your hips began to move of their own accord. You needed more, more and more, and Felix grumbled deeply as you rolled your hips fluidly against his. The little noises, sighs and growls spurred you on so that you took him deeper and deeper until you were riding him at a steady pace. Overwhelmed, his fingers dug into your hips and he moved his hips against yours until you were both moaning into each other's mouths. You made out wildly, messy and chaotic, while the sound of him thrusting into your wet pussy filled the room.

"Fuck so warm... so good," he moaned over and over like a mantra and you felt the knot in your stomach tighten more with each deep thrust.

"You're so big, Lix.... Fuck," you moaned, unable to get enough of the feeling of him filling you completely.

He began to trail his lips down your neck, biting into the soft skin by your breasts and licking over your nipples until you could barely get a word past your lips. Just before the knot in your stomach threatened to burst, you put a hand around his neck and pushed him back onto the mattress. He watched wide-eyed as you rode him, and a desperate whimper escaped him, which only made you go faster. You leaned against his chest and finally took what you had dreamed of for so long. His cock pulsed deep inside you and you fucked yourself on top of him without mercy. The sight of you bouncing on him, Lips open, face cockdrunken and your naked body just for him to look at made Felix come almost immediately and he forced himself to hold on. Your walls squeezed him just right and he watched hungrily as your breasts bounced with each roll of your hips. Han would kill him, but he didn't care right now.

"Fuck... Lix I'm not gonna last long," you moaned and Felix helped you guide your hips further as your movements began to stutter.

"Come on my cock. You look so sexy riding me.... Been wanting to see that for ages."

Your moans rose higher and you clawed your fingernails into his chest as he additionally snapped his hips into yours. Whimpering, the knot in your belly tore apart and you came all over his cock, making the naughtiest sounds Felix had ever heard. You let out a loud moan of his name, nails dragging down along his shoulders as you messily grind through the pleasure. He is groaning at the sight. Just as fucking beautiful as he imagined.

You collapsed onto his chest and he rolled his hips, savoring your high to the last second. "Good fucking girl, let it all go for me." He growled into your ear, accent husky, and the words zip straight to where you needed it. You grinded your hips lazily against his while you were caught in the flood of pleasure and desire.

When you caught your breath, you looked at him and saw that he was already looking at you, with a soft smile on his lips that made you melt.

He kissed you, his soft lips were like heaven and let his tongue slowly slide into your mouth. Still dizzy from the orgasm you gasped softly as his still rock hard dick continued to thrust into you. Carefully he turned you around until he was between your legs, his body weight comfortably on yours and he continued to thrust deep inside you. Even though your overstimulated pussy was throbbing painfully, your body was betraying you and demanding more. You wrapped your legs around his hips to pull him closer again and he buried his face against your neck as your walls spasmed around him.

"Oh God... Keep doing that, angel. Fuck don't stop squeezing me like that..." he gasped, pressing his open mouth against your neck as he slammed harder into you. By now his bed was squeaking so loud you could still hear it in the next building and his members would pick up on it too, if they hadn't already heard your moans through the walls. But you didn't care. You wanted nothing more than Felix on top of you, pounding into your sore pussy like that forever.

The next orgasm came unexpectedly, suddenly, as Felix thrusted so deep and fast that the loud slapping of your skin against each other almost drowned out the creaking of the bed. By now you were moaning his name between incoherent sounds and whimpers. His hands grabbed your hips and as your eyes rolled back and you came uncontrollably around his cock again, all you saw was glistening light.

Felix couldn't stop. As if caught in a trance he continued to slam into you, your pussy only sucked him deeper and he knew he had never had better sex.

"Mrgh fuck... So tight..." he moaned and it felt like you were floating. When he saw your fucked out expression, he growled loudly.

"Too much... fuck... too... too much," you managed to squeeze out between stifled whimpers and moans. He pressed his lips soothingly to yours, not slowing down in speed.

"Just a little more. You're doing so well. Taking me like a good little slut..." he gasped, on the verge of cumming.

"My good little slut... Letting me use your pussy.... god you're too good to be true, angel."

His words turned your head and as you came a third time, moaning his name in the most beautiful melody he had ever heard and your walls clinging to him, he came looking so beautiful that you stopped and just looked at him. You felt his warm cum inside you until he pulled his cock out of you and emptied his load onto your belly with a few more strokes. His puffy lips were parted, sweat was shining on his forehead and his eyes were rolling back.

The next time he looked down at you and saw his cum running out of your pussy, down your thighs and all over your belly, he wanted to take a picture.

"You are a goddess," he murmured as you gradually regained your sanity. Then he leaned down to you, kissing you, innocent and full of affection. The kiss was sugary sweet and you breathed an overwhelmed sigh of relief as he broke away from you to get a towel. As he helped you clean yourself up, you said with amusement:

"What have you done to me? My legs won't stop shaking..."

Felix handed you your panties, which you slipped back into, and one of his hoodies, which you gratefully put on. Then smiled at the sight of your legs and let his hands slide over your thighs.

"So I did good?" he asked with a grin, massaging your tense muscles. You sighed in relief and watched him. Meanwhile, you snuggled into his hoodie.

"So good that my brother and all your roommates heard us," you said then, your cheeks immediately flushing as you gradually realized how loud you had been. Felix wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his chin on your stomach to look at you.

"Do you regret it?" he asked gently and you brushed a few strands of hair from his face. His eyes shone like a puppy's and you could hardly resist showering his entire face with kisses.

"No way."

"Well... Me neither."

He pulled you closer and wrapped his arms tightly around your body.

Later, when hunger drove you out of the room, you slipped into Felix's shorts and you went into the living room together. Minho and Jeongin were cooking.

Han was sitting on the couch with Chan and Changbin. The three of them were apparently still working on something, but when you walked in, the conversations fell silent and Han looked at you tensed.

"Are you guys finally done?" he asked, annoyed, and Chan stared at his phone to hide his grin.

Felix disappeared into the kitchen to help the others cook and escape the strange mood. You dropped down on the sofa next to Han and looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Are you mad?" you asked, poking him in the side with your index finger. He rolled his eyes and sighed loudly.

"No... Felix is my friend. If it's okay with someone than with him."

It was obvious that it had taken a lot for him to realize that. Relieved, you smiled and playfully pushed him. He pushed you back and finally laughed too.

"Where are my headphones, you pain in the ass?" he then asked and you took them out of your bag that was still next to the sofa. Relieved, he grabbed them and pressed them to his chest.

"Oh thank God! I was afraid I'd have to fly without them."

"Thank not God, thank your lovely sister."

He furrowed his eyebrows and snorted.

"Don’t push it!"

Finally, you all ate together and it was back to the way it was before. Only the intense looks between you and Felix were new. That you blushed every time he smiled at you and your stomach turned circles.

When the storm subsided, you had to make your way home and after saying goodbye to everyone, Felix walked you to the door. He leaned against the door frame with one hand above your head and looked at you intently.

"Drive carefully and text me when you get home."

"Sure."

The brief silence made you swallow and you looked down at yourself.

"I'll get the stuff back to you soon.... Thanks for the clothes."

He smirked, loving how his clothes were way too big on your body.

"That's alright. I thought it was really nice today..."

You smiled with rosy cheeks.

"Yeah me too."

He cleared his throat and ran his fingers through his hair in embarrassment before finally saying it, something he'd been wanting to say for ages:

"How about we go on a date when I get back? Like a real one?"

Surprised, you stared at him, inwardly shrieking with delight.

"Yes. I would like that."

Breathing a sigh of relief, he leaned down to you.

"I'll call you..."

You nodded, wanting to reply, but didn't get to as he was already pulling you close by the hips and placing his lips on yours. Sighing, you snuggled up to him, your hands clasped in his neck, and returned the kiss. You couldn't let go of each other. Your lips met again and again, his hands wandered under the hoodie, caressing your back while your tongues danced together, licking into each others mouths as otherwise you would be starving.

"That's enough!" you heard Jisung yell behind you, and with a smirk on his lips, you pressed your foreheads against each other.

"See you soon, angel," he murmured and you gave him one last peck on the lips before you managed to pull away from him. He waited until you disappeared down the hall before closing the door and walking back to the others with rosy cheeks.

"Since when do you have a crush on Hannie's sister?" asked then Seungmin with a grin.

"Since forever. Haven't you seen how he always adores her and flirts with her?" said Changbin and Han fixed him.

"Ji I really like your sister.... Please don't be mad that I..."

"Shut up!"

"What?"

Astonished, he stared at the elder and nervousness turned to confusion. Han expelled his breath loudly and the corners of his mouth lifted a little.

"If I could wish for anyone for my sister, you'd be damn close to the perfect version of a boyfriend," he commented, and Felix's tense shoulders finally relaxed.

Overjoyed, he grinned and could hardly believe his luck. You were as infatuated with him as he was, even though it had taken you guys years to finally find out about each others feelings.

"Stop grinning so stupidly! You better not screw this up!", Han drove at him and Felix quickly pressed his lips together. Although Han wanted to look serious, he couldn't help smirking either.

After all, he had been watching you crush on each other long enough. It was annoying by now, that everybody knew except for you. So it was actually relieving that you two finally realised it.

And in the end it was his fault. Maybe he shouldn’t have forgotten his headphones…

---

It's soooo FUCKING ADORABLE💓💓💓

Not really like "you" in this story but like you can clearly see the world in this story like just imagining bruhhh

Yeah, Flowers Follow

You have always been committed to your duty at your mom's flower shop since she got hurt carrying bags of dirt over a month ago. It was mostly just you and the flowers, until he barged in one day, slapped 20 bucks on the countertop and with a passive-aggressive tone, asked: "How do I say fuck you in flower?"

because seo changbin + fluff will always have me in a chokehold. And a flower au? fuck yea, bring it on, babe.

inspired by this pin which I'll link here

edit: omg guys you loved this so much I just couldn't resist making a part two, still, this can be read as a stand-alone, although I hope you guy's like this one as much as its 'second part', which I'll link here

Word count: 5k. Binnie isn't mean, ok? He's just emo and tough-looking. And kinda introverted. fluff fluff fluff. swearing. kinda horny towards the end, but no spice added. Lol

You wiped your sweat from your forehead, rolling your sleeves up with a huff as you took back in your hands a big old water can. You watered the lilies and small ivies that remained outside of the flower shop, quickly waddling back inside for more water.

Your mother was usually the one who took care of Lilac, the flower shop. At first, it had been her and your aunties, but it all flew away after your grandma's passing. You had been young, so much that your memories of the time were mostly made of blurry faces that were not present in your life to this day. Your mom had been okay taking care of the small flowery world she built, but an accident with a heavy bag of dirt over a month ago made you complain. She reluctantly let you handle the store until her back got better, which was coming along slowly.

After watering the plants, sweeping the floor, pruning the bonsais, and preparing the several bouquet orders you had for the day, you ran out of things to do, settling to play some jazzy music while you reviewed your class’ notes as you waited for clients.

Your evening was quite calming. Clients came in like droplets, so the shop never felt too crowded. Most of them asked for flowers for their loved ones, some even speaking about their partners, how they had met, or the dates they were excited to have.

It was cute. You had always been fond of the small flower shop and shared the interest with your mom, reason why you didn't care about taking the lead for a while or doing your homework there. You loved the way the flowers brought people together, and the stories and meanings that they had behind them.

Just as you figured out the answer to that one question you had been stuck on, the bell rang, indicating someone's presence inside. Someone that approached you in a rather passive-aggressive manner.

"How can I say 'fuck you' in flower?"

Words that you had never imagined coming out of someone's mouth —which was something, considering the wide range that your imagination could reach sometimes—.

You carefully observed the man's gestures, who didn't stop scanning the place. Years spent helping out at the flower shop had given you a kind of sixth sense, one that allowed you to easily see through people's appearances.

"Do you have anything in mind, or do you not care as long as it is full of loathing?" You inquired with a sweet smile.

Changbin found himself suddenly falling into the harmony of your eyes without realizing it. You quickly left the books on the shelf under the counter, lowered the music and turned to him. Your eyes rested on his, brown and limpid, to which he adopted a belligerent posture in response, an action that —to his surprise— did not unsettle you. He quickly shook his head, focusing on the anger that remained inside of him.

"Make it striking. Something so colourful that can even hurt to look at." You giggled.

"Intense." He held back a smile, his lips twitching. "One second."

He stared at your figure as you went to the small workshop behind the counter. The feeling that Changbin had at first had nothing to do with what he was perceiving at that time. A pleasant floral smell, mixed with mint and lavender essence filled the building. It wasn't only the exquisite aroma that captivated the man, but the beautiful colourful landscape that that small establishment hid. The white wood decoration made any bouquet or flower pot stand out as if it were the icing on a cake. The large windows allowed a large amount of light to enter, and they gave amplitude to the small place.

It was a beautiful place, but strange. Peculiar, for sure, and it was due to the chromatic order of its flowers. Sorted by colour scale, regardless of the species. The red roses were with the poppies, the tulips with the clivias and the orange jasmines. The ferns, aloe vera and fittonias were also together, despite having nothing to do with each other. The coves, cherry blossoms and hydrangeas shared a common space that at first glance, they should not have. It was a beautiful chaos, but it was still a floral hustle and bustle.

"Do you like it?" You asked sweetly when you came back.

"It's not bad." He replied vaguely. "It's..." Ravishing "...small."

From his attitude and the way he studied the place, almost as if he expected some kind of danger to appear among the pots and leaves, some would say he was not to be messed with, but to you, he looked like someone rather shy and quite sceptical, nothing to do with what he might seem as, considering that tattooed bad-guy build and the killer stare that he carried around. A thought occurred that his somewhat murderous look did not allow him to say what he really thought.

Nevertheless, you could agree with him. Not only was it a small store, but it was a disarray of varieties. Nevertheless, to Changbin, above all, feeling watched all the time was something he was used to, yet your stare felt different, making him feel more goosebumps the longer he was under your eager gaze. He couldn't help it, but when you looked at him so kindly, he felt strange.

He wanted you to stop looking at him.

"Orders arrive on Wednesdays," you mentioned, already arranged behind the counter. "Shop opens at nine, so feel free to arrive whenever. I will need more flowers for your bouquet, so until then, I'm afraid I can't have it. Either that or..."

Changbin interrupted you. He couldn't stand to have those deep-coloured eyes immersing in his own.

"Wednesday is fine." He said in a huff.

You smiled, dimples on display. "Okay! Then as long as you stop by on Wednesday, we can arrange the bouquet. I'll be here, spraying water to the chrysanthemums, alliums and hydrangeas."

Changbin felt his chest tighten, his eyes wandering around your features, your dimples, your lips. He stopped himself, took back his cash almost in a hurry, and left almost as quickly as he had arrived.

"See you then, and thanks for shopping in Lilac!"

[☆ ☆ 💐 ☆ ☆]

Wednesday. The delivery truck was parked on the street facing the back of the store to unload the flowers you had ordered for the week.

To your surprise, Mystery —the nickname you had chosen for him, that sounded way better than 'fuck you flower boy'— came back precisely at nine am, and again, surprisingly enough, he wasn't alone.

He looked way more relaxed with his friend, the anger that almost shocked you looking long gone as his features didn't remain tense.

The bell rang as you were preparing the workshop for the arrival of the many flowers.

"Wow, this place is lit." His friend had good taste, judging by what you could hear.

"Thank you!" You mentioned with a cheeky smile, startling both men when you came out of nowhere. "Sorry, the truck’s outside, but I’ll be here in a minute."

You approached the delivery guy, who was opening the truck and setting the ramp so lowering the different flowers wouldn’t be too hard.

“Hey, Jerry!”

A comfortable chat took place between the two, who had met each other several times ever since your mom got hurt.

Inside, another conversation was happening. “Remind me, what are we waiting for, buddy?” Han asked as he wandered about in the colourful building.

Changbin sighed, frustrated at the reminder.

“The boss said something the other day I didn’t like. As a matter of fact, I despised it,” he grunted. “He looked at my desk and saw the bouquet I kept there, the one we got for that other show, you know?” Han hummed, paying attention. Weirdly enough, Seo’s eyes never left the backdoor you had gone through, not even when he continued. “So he mentioned how untidy my desk looked, how disgusting it would look when the flowers died, and hinted that flowers would look way better in his studio. It made me fucking angry. I don’t care if no one likes you that much to give you pretty flowers.” Han cleared his throat, allowing Changbin to return from his hating cloud. “Yeah. Uh. So we’re here to plan his bouquet.”

“Sheesh, I get that. The boss can be such an asshole sometimes.” Jisung mentioned vaguely. “But why nine am?”

Because I needed the excuse to see her. “I want to get this over with. If I’m lucky, he’ll even brag about the flowers.” He smirked, hiding his true intentions.

He suddenly heard some giggles through the door you had crossed. Han arched his brows.

“So you offered to pay for coffee and takeaway tonight for me just so I’d come with you here only to get flowers for the big man? Really?” He said, faking innocence as he settled his elbows on the counter, holding his cheeks in his hands, almost like a toddler.

He gave Han a side-eye. He shrugged. “Give me one more sign, and I might start thinking that…”

Bin covered his mouth. “Don’t. And that also goes to don’t lick it, or I’ll make sure Minho air fries you.”

Jisung lifted his hands, giving up. “I wonder what’s going on back there.” He smirked, teasing.

Changbin didn't want to flutter around you two, but he knew that putting the flowers in the store wasn’t that hard. He clenched his jaw unconsciously.

"If I had known that you were looking for an employee, I would have come running," said the boy, putting his cap back. “If you are looking for more staff, you know where I am.”

"It's very kind of you, but I never looked for anyone in the first place. Mom wouldn’t even dare to accept it,” you laughed. “Also, I wouldn't bother you knowing that you have your own trade. In addition, I get to put my skills to the test, but I can get quite moody sometimes. I bite, you know.”

He arched an eyebrow. "Don't worry about any of that. Working with you would be a thousand times better than distributing flowers throughout the city.”

Maybe it had been how you laughed or the snarky reply he had just heard, but Changbin needed that man to leave. Now.

Your eyes landed on that buff silhouette who entered the inside of the truck. Seo continued to unload the flowers. You tried to finish the conversation, but the guy wouldn’t stop talking while there was a client of yours doing your fucking job. You grew tired of Jerry, and you got up inside the trunk, willing for the man to take a hint and leave already.

Han couldn’t believe his eyes.

"Oh, please don't," Jerry went up too. "I'll take care of moving the plants.”

"Don't worry, it's the last one.” You tiredly smiled at him.

You took the remaining bouquet and got out of the truck behind Seo while the delivery guy wondered when the flowers had been unloaded. You quickly said your goodbyes before you returned to the counter.

"Thank you for lowering the flowers, it was not your job yet you did it anyways,” you smiled shyly as you started preparing the table in front of you with different sorts of labels plus the diferent tools you needed. “Sorry for the wait.”

“You’re fine. Don’t worry.”

Han stared blankly at the man who scolded him singlehandedly every day he was late to the studio just by a minute. He then stared back at you, then at his friend.

No bloody way. Holy shit.

"For your order, I found something the other day I though you might enjoy," your smile widened, your eyes like crescent moons as you handed him a small book.

“Oh.”

It was an old copy of a book that read “The Language of Flowers.”

“Maybe you could search up in the insults chapter if you see any meaning that you think could suit.”

He looked at you and quickly back to the book so he wouldn’t drift away in your eyes like days ago.

“Yeah, fine.”

Changbin was not very talkative, but the bitter tone with which he spoke was unusual. Han could tell, years of knowing the man allowed him to feel a bad mood in the way he communicated. His gaze was more frivolous than usual, and he squeezed his lips as if he didn't want to say anything. Shockingly to him, you noticed and were unable to let it go.

"Is something wrong?" You questioned softly. “Are you upset?”

Changbin hesitated. Han gave him a soft kick where he knew you wouldn’t see it.

“Yes.”

You started slowly writing in the labels before you as he, at the same pace, passed the pages.

"May I know why?"

Changbin cleared his throat. Shit, why was he so nervous?

"That guy was just talking, and that's why I had to do his job,” he grunted.

"I... I'm sorry." You looked down, sounding sincere. “If I hadn't given him a conversation, he would have started unloading the flowers.”

It wasn't true, and Changbin wasn't an idiot. That guy wouldn't have taken his eyes away from you unless he didn't have enough time to finish his shift.

But that didn't matter to him. What mattered was that your voice didn’t sound the same when you talked about this guy. It didn’t sound right.

"What type of flower is a Forget-Me-Not?" Han interrupted, looking at the book, reading past Changbin's shoulder. If he continued like that, Seo may not scold him anymore. For a short time, at least. Maybe a week.

"Oh." You recovered your kind smile, and the knot that had formed on Changbin’s chest untangled as soon as he heard your excited tone as you showed Han the small blue flowers. “They actually import them, from Mexico! Did you know?” You asked no one in particular, the two men in the shop suddenly interested in the topic as you continued to blabber about flowers.

To Changbin, only when you talked about them, your voice seemed less annoying. Even pretty, he could admit —not out loud, obviously—. But he liked it, mentally classifying your sweet tone of voice into “I-would-listen-to-it-to-fall-asleep”.

No one would notice.

[☆ ☆ 💐 ☆ ☆]

“Dude. You are like, I don’t know, totally in love with her?” Han said as he took a sip from his takeaway coffee as he entered the recording studio and sat on the sofa.

In his mind, just because he hadn’t paid for it, it tasted ten times better, even though if it was the same he chose every day.

The accusation almost made Changbin spit his own drink. He stared at it, wondering if there could be something in it that could’ve explained why his face felt so hot all of a sudden.

Fuck, was it that noticeable?

“Yeah man, it is really noticeable.” Han smiled, surprised at his silent victory. “You look at her like Minho Hyung looks at his cats. It’s sickening, really.”

Changbin frowned. “I do not.” Jisung deadpanned.

“Says the man that made me third wheel in a fucking flower shop.”

“What are you guys bickering about?” Chan asked with a small smile as he got inside.

“Changbin is in love with the flower girl two blocks away.” Han teased in a sing-song voice.

“Fuck that.” Chan’s eyes grew big with emotion.

“Shit, he is.”

“Actually, Hyung,” Jisung mentioned as he handed Chan the other coffee he had bought, “I think she might like him back.”

Changbin coughed violently. The others smiled.

“Why the fuck would she?” He frowned again, his eyes not leaving his phone. “I literally met her last week and behaved like a piece of shit.”

Both Chan and Han smiled, knowing that by not refusing the allegation, Changbin was actually interested in Miss Flower Girl.

“Remember the analogy I made with Minho and his cats? Same shit goes for her. I’ve never seen anyone staring so intensely at someone’s eyes.” Han trembled, exaggerating. “Chills. Literal chills.”

Small hope was planted in Changbin’s heart, but he tried to shove it deep inside him. “Either way, after I go and get the flowers from her, whatever this is, is over. There’s no chance,” he shrugged.

Chan and Jisung shared worried looks. Despite what Changbin could show to people, he was a loving, sensible person. They both knew that if he had silently admitted the existence of a crush on this girl, it was because he meant it. And for a guy like him, who was often viewed as mean and rude or even dangerous, he usually chose to approach new people the less, so whatever was going through his mind meant a big deal.

Chan tsked. “Maybe it’s none of my business, bro, but after Hari, I’ve-.”

“Spare me the trip, Hyung,” Changbin interrupted in a low voice. “She’s been stalking me for months since I broke up with her. I really don’t want to hear it.”

Chan patted his back, a sad smile on his features as he looked at his friend.

“S’good, man. No hard feelings.”

After working on some tracks for a while, the topic was thoroughly avoided by the members, until Changbin sighed.

“Okay. You guys can stop your mind games.”

The others gave him a puzzled look.

“Whaddya mean?” The Australian wondered.

Seo let a small smile show as he passed his hands through his face.

“I really want to see her again.”

[☆ ☆ 💐 ☆ ☆]

So thanks to Chris, the bell in the flower shop rang once again. You were humming a popular song, one that Changbin knew, so instead of approaching you, he wandered through the isles filled with flowers, listening to you as you continued the melody.

His heart beat like crazy when after a while, he opened and closed the door again, pretending he hadn’t been there listening to you.

“Oh, hey, Mystery.”

Your smile made his heart skip a beat. The sundress you were wearing, along with the short brown apron, made him swallow dry.

“Flower girl,” he greeted. You lifted your eyebrows.

“That’s a change of attitude. What can I do for you today?”

Do me. “I was wondering if you could deliver the flower bouquet. Is that possible?” He asked politely.

Your dimples showed when you smiled at him, looking for a notebook in the mess that your study guides made.

“College?” He wondered, staring at your eyes daringly as he pointed to your books.

“Music major, final year,” you grinned. “For your delivery, write the address here, and I’ll deliver it myself,” you played with a strand of hair, quickly moving it behind your ear.

Chanbin’s hands tickled. He wanted to do that too.

“I wouldn’t do it usually, but I figured you wouldn’t enjoy seeing Jerry again.”

He scoffed as he scribbled in the notebook. You cackled.

Suddenly, a loud noise from the workshop startled both of you, who were kind of lost in the other’s eyes.

“Girl, are you still here?” Your mother asked loudly.

You facepalmed, mouthing ‘sorry’ to Changbin, to which he quickly gestured that it was fine.

“You ok, mom?” You replied.

“I’m fine! God, you spend your days here. If it were me, I’d be outside kissing boys!”

Your face turned red in the blink of an eye. “Mom?!” Changbin held back his laughter, covering his mouth with his hand.

She never answered, just chuckled teasingly.

Changbin quickly closed the notebook and gave it to you, his cheeks suddenly almost as red as yours.

“See you soon, I guess?” He smiled, still holding back a loud cackle.

“Stop laughing.” You snickered. “But yeah. See ya… eh…”

“Changbin. Seo Changbin.” He left, smilling like an idiot.

You opened the notebook as you raised the music’s volume again, blushing furiously at your discovery.

Along with the address of what you recognised as some well-known company and the name of who the flowers where for, he had left a note below it.

In case you want to go kiss boys.

Was that… his phone number?

[☆ ☆ 💐 ☆ ☆]

After closing the shop for the day, you stared at the flower bouquet as you were walking down the street, headed to where Changbin had written down. After figuring your way out with the maps app on your phone, you decided that taking your bike would be stupid, as it only was two blocks away.

The mix of colours was striking. At least, it had that. You hoped the person who would receive it would like it, meanings aside, considering you put effort into it.

The company was bigger than you expected. Before you could allow yourself to enter and look around, a security guard stopped you.

“Excuse me, miss, no one is allowed inside without a pass,” he explained.

You smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of your neck. “I was just here to deliver this…? I wasn’t told about this restriction, my client just said that I should deliver it in person.” Yeah, that was a lie, but he didn’t know that. “Would it be ok if I went inside? It’ll be only for a minute.”

He sighed, then shrugged. “I don’t think I’m allowed to let you pass…”

“Oi, Hyung!”

A somewhat tall man —at least taller than you— approached you two.

“You’re Flower Girl, right?” He said, sounding excited, failing to hide it. “She’s with me, don’t worry.”

You entered the company with him, but after that, you stopped and turned to him.

“I appreciate the help, but who are you?”

He smiled. “Yikes. Forgot about that. My name is Chris, it’s nice to meet you. I am close friends with Changbin.”

Your eyes softened, and you smiled. “Oh, I see.” You then looked back at the notebook you carried, the one Changbin had written down in. “Do you know where could I find Park Jin Young’s office?”

Chan looked at you weirdly. “Changbin paid for flowers for the big man? Damn.”

You giggled. “It’s not what it looks like. These flowers all have different meanings, and none of those is a good one.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! For example, the orange carnations?” You pointed out one of the flowers. “Those mean ‘I hate you.’”

Chan snorted and laughed at every meaning of every flower you gave him.

“Chan!”

He turned around to face whoever had called him, seeing Changbin approaching him, looking anxious.

“Chan, she’s fucking downstairs.”

Chris’ stare turned darker. Your heart tightened in your chest.

“Stay with her. I’ll go see if I can talk to security.” Chris managed to say before he rushed downstairs.

“Bin, is everything good?”

He noticed your presence, to which he froze for a second. Time started to feel slow. His spine locked up, and his shoulders stiffened. He even felt his shirt stretch in a sudden motion.

“Flower Girl.” You could feel the sudden state of relaxation he arrived, his figure visibly less tense.

You hesitated on what to do but then chose to act by instinct. Hugging him.

He tensed up again, the sudden act taking him by surprise. You tried stepping back, feeling like you had made him awkward, but he then pulled you in a bear hug.

“Thanks, pretty.” He whispered in your ear. “I needed that.”

“S’ok.” You smiled, a fluttering feeling settling in your stomach

He stepped away, shyness all over him. You smiled at him, but something changed as he looked at someone behind you.

Before you could turn around to see what had been the issue, he got way closer than a second ago, a hand travelling to your cheek, directing your face to meet his.

“I’m going to kiss you,” Seo whispered, just before he pressed his lips against yours.

Your confused self couldn’t manage the sudden emotions that ran through your body. You felt his tongue brush your lips, and you had to make an effort not to drop the flower bouquet when you started matching his pace, feeling him smile in between the kiss.

Concentrated on the man that had a hand on your face and an arm around your waist, you were too into it that you didn’t hear a woman gasp at the end of the corridor, leaving in a rush, crying fake tears.

Don’t get Changbin wrong. Seeing the girl that had tried to manipulate and gaslight him out of his music career just so he could spend his time doing stuff for her, things she took for granted, he figured the only way of making her leave should be a harsh one.

And okaaaay, he might have been dying to kiss you for a while now.

After texting Chan that she was gone, you both eventually arrived in front of the office.

He stayed behind as you entered, approaching a somewhat 50-year-old man with clothes as striking as the bouquet you had in your hands.

“Who sends these?” He questioned, his features suddenly looking younger when he smiled.

“Seo Changbin, sir," you bowed. "Have a good day!”

You couldn’t help but snicker when you closed the door. You found the three known men standing in front of you.

“So? Did he like them?” Han inquired.

“Pfft. I made that bouquet. Of course, he loved them.” You bragged jokingly.

The three of them offered to give you a quick tour, as it wasn’t common to have the opportunity to see the JYP building from the inside. Before you realised, it started pouring outside, heavy rain that looked like it wasn’t leaving anytime soon.

You cursed under your breath. If you even dared to walk under that rain, you would end up swimming your way home, your skirt and your blouse ruined.

3RACHA stood behind you, noticing that you were still at the entrance after a bit. Both Jisung and Chan ushered and pushed Seo to where you were.

“Is everything ok?” He asked, in a tone softer than what you expected.

“It’s just… ugh.” You looked at him, then tsked.

He froze when you got even closer, passing your hands above his shoulders. He had to hold back a shiver when your hands brushed his neck.

“Got no one to do this for you, I guess?” you gently fixed his collar, hands lingering on him more than they should have.

He couldn’t hold back a smile, looking at you differently, in a more intense way.

“I’ll take that as a no.” You ended the topic quickly, your eyes wandering from his eyes, then his lips, and back to his eyes again. You swallowed dry. “I can’t go back home with this rain, but my phone died, so I can't call for a cab or an Uber.”

He looked at you up and down. “Are you in a hurry?”

You stared at him, trying to match the intensity from before. “Not really. I just don’t have anything better to do. Why?”

“I’ll give you a ride.”

Neither Chan nor Han could say that Changbin was the messiest of the three, but he still was messy a generous amount. So when he got into the studio and picked up everything in less than five minutes, they gave him a look.

“Use protection, you bitch.” Jisung teased. Bin ruffled his hair.

“Fuck off," he chuckled. "See you tomorrow, guys.”

He guided you to the parking lot, and you both started driving.

Changbin’s grip on the steering wheel tightened when he noticed how your skirt rode up your knees when you sat down.

“Wait, I didn’t give you my address.” You realised, confused as to where was he going.

“I know.”

You looked around when he entered an underground parking lot, then parked and quickly got up to open your door.

He got really close, unbuckling your seat belt.

“You don’t need to be home tonight, right?” His eyes didn’t leave your lips when he asked.

“No.” You answered, almost in a whisper.

He took your hand as you got out of his car. Changbin walked with you to where the elevators were, hands still linked.

“Where are we?”

He pressed the elevator button and looked at you, even more intensely than later at the studio.

“My place.” He kept looking down at your lips. “I’ll take you home tomorrow.”

[☆ ☆ 💐 ☆ ☆]

You woke up the following morning with a warm body next to you, the feeling making you snuggle closer to Changbin, passing his arm and setting it on your waist.

The sound of a notification made you groan in a low voice, reaching for your clothes and grabbing your phone from your jacket’s pocket. It was your mom.

You didn’t arrive last night. Where are you?

You smiled and replied.

I went to kiss a boy, like you said.

You went back to bed, looking fondly at the man next to you.

A buzz from your phone made you wake up from your daydreaming.

Cheeky girl. Flowers follow?

You laughed. As a florist, your mom had made up the expression one day. When saying “flowers follow”, it meant that there would be a positive outcome of whatever you had on your hands.

You knew that to your mom, in this context, 'flowers follow' meant just one thing.

Yeah, flowers follow.

Yeah. You might have fallen in love with him.

Don’t you dare come back home without that boy. I’ll cook something!

“What’s got you all smiley?” A sleepy Changbin made you giggle even more.

He, on the other side, could definitely get used to a morning like that.

You left your phone on the bedside table, and then got close to him again, tangling your legs in between his. He poked your dimples, and you chuckled.

“You, silly flower boy.”

~Kats, who has the urge to put lil’ details in every fic, like how the flower shop is named Lilac, which means ‘first love’ in flower, or how the flower that Han asks about means 'true love'.

(if you ask me, she was humming Come Inside of My Heart, bc I fucking love that song)

---

MORE THAN BEAUTIFUL

Pairing: Bang Chan x Afab! Plus Size Reader

Theme: Fluff, Smut, Friends To Lovers. Story is 18+ MDNI

Word Count: 2K

A/N: Please do not repost or translate my work! Let me know if you wish to be on the tagged list.

Ever since you were young, you were always a bit bigger than most of the girls. You had curves, you were thick and you got teased constantly for it. Gaining weight had always been a problem for you and you tried hard to not gain anything, but stress and medical conditions were not making it easy. Because of the teasing, and how hard your mother was always on you about your appearance and weight, your insecurity and negative views of yourself were always at an all time high.

Your friends would always try and tell you that you were beautiful and that there was nothing wrong with you but you never believed them. All the insults you had been told over the years were embedded in your brain. You never took compliments well. Never believed that anyone would be remotely interested in you or find you beautiful. But there was always someone you secretly hope did.

You had been in love with Chan ever since you were in high school. Felix was your best friend and introduced him to you, wanting you to have more people in your life. Suddenly you went to from having one friend, to having eight. The boys always treated you well, protected you from bullies and did their best to keep you smiling. You don't know how you ended up falling for Chan, maybe it was his kindness, maybe it was the way his dimples came out when he smiled. Or the little squeak that left his plump lips when he laughs hard.

But you were hopelessly in love with him, and no one knew except Felix. No matter how many times he told you to open up to Chan, you'd immediately decline and tell him how you weren't worthy of him and how he'd never want you back. He deserved someone as pretty and perfect as him, and you weren't. You weren't anything close to it.

You all went to college together and while everyone else got in relationships, you focused on your studies and tried to not show how much your heart shattered every time a girl flirted with the dimpled boy you loved so much. It was only a matter of time before he got a girlfriend himself and you knew that day was going to be a day that ruined you.

So you began to start distancing yourself from him. You didn't hang out with the group as much as you used to, using your studying as an excuse. You didn't spend the night at his and Felix's apartment either, like you always did when you spent time with them. No more texting til three in the morning when you both couldn't sleep. You did your best, even though Chan made it hard. He always called out for you, tried to corner you. But you would narrowly escape when a girl would call out to him.

You did this for about a month and when the guys demanded an explanation you just kept lying that you needed to keep studying. None of the guys bought it, especially Felix. Felix eventually coaxed it out of you and he was pissed, but even so he kept his lips sealed for you. Because he himself knew how it felt to believe you weren’t good enough.

A few days later Felix had asked you to stay over, saying that Chan was going to be gone for the weekend so it would be just the two of them. You reluctantly agreed to go. But when you arrived there was no Felix to be found when you entered the apartment with your spare key. You texted him and called him and he didn’t respond. You started to get worried that something happened.

“What are you doing here?” Your heart dropped to your stomach when you heard the voice of the man you had been hiding from. You turned to see him exiting the bathroom wearing only a pare of grey sweats. Your eyes widened and you turned away blushing deeply from the sight of his completely exposed upper half.

“Felix told me to come over. Said you were going to be gone for the weekend and he wanted company.” You said quietly.

“Felix told me he was staying with Changbin for the weekend.” Chan replied quietly. You winced and mentally cursed at Felix, realizing what his plan was.

“Oh, I guess he got confused then.” You breathed out. “I-I’ll just get going then. S-sorry.” You rushed to the door but soon felt a hand on your wrist.

“Don’t.” He whispered. “Why do you keep doing that? Why do you keep running away from me?” You froze and kept your back to him. Once again you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. “Do you how much I missed you? Do you know how much it hurts me that you don’t come here anymore? We were inseparable and now you won’t even acknowledge me.” He choked out. “What did I do wrong?” You wanted so badly to tell him he did nothing. That it was all you and your stupid one sided crush on him that was causing this. But you couldn’t bring yourself.

“Please just let me go.” You whispered as tears threatened to spill from your cheeks.

“No.” He growled. He turned you around and pulled you close to him. “I am never letting you go.” He looked deep into your widened eyes as you struggled against his grip. “Stop running from me.” He pressed his forehead to yours and held you flush against him. “You still have no idea do you?” He breathed out.

“W-What?” You squeaked out, becoming more flustered by the second.

“That I love you too.” He whispered. “I fucking love you Y/n. Have since freshman year. I’ve always been in love with you.” You froze, your eyes blurred with tears as they poured down your cheeks and you shook your head.

“No. No. No you don’t. You can’t. I’m not good enough.” You whimpered out. “Just look at me. You deserve someone beautiful. Someone perfect.”

“Y/n, you are more than beautiful.” He breathed out. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted and I will prove that to you right now.” He pressed his lips against yours in a deep and passionate kiss. You froze as his plump lips pressed against yours. This was something you only ever dreamed about. You felt dazed, shocked, but eventually you melted into him and gave in to the kiss. Your hands gripped his upper arms gently as they wrapped around you, pulling you as close as possible to him. You whimpered as he slid his tongue into your mouth. You both continued to kiss each other with everything you had until you had to pull away for air.

The next few moments were a blur, but now you beneath him, completely naked and exposed. You covered your face in embarrassment as he took in your body. He spread your legs wide as he kissed all over your stomach and thighs. Nipping and marking them desperately.

“So fucking beautiful.” He breathed out. “And finally mine. You’re all mine.” He kissed up and took your nipple in his mouth. You whined at the feeling and arched into him. Your fingers tangled in his hair as your body trembled from excitement and need.

“C-Channie.” You whimpered as you pulled him up to kiss him feverishly. He laid flushed against you and rocked into you. His length rubbing against your hot and wet core. He nipped at your lips as his hand slipped between you. He slipped a finger inside you while his thumb brushed against your clit. You let out a soft cry and buried your face in his neck.

“Tell me what you want love. Tell me.” He whispered as he pumped his finger into you.

“You! Channie I need you.” You whimpered as you rocked your hips in need. He added a second finger and groaned at your words. Kissed down your body and took your clit into his mouth as his fingers pumped gently into you. Your moans filled the room as you gripped the sheets beneath you. Your back arched at the feeling of his tongue rubbing against your sensitive nub.

“God I wish you could see how hot you look right now.” He growled as he curled his fingers inside you. “You look so fucking perfect.” He watched you as you writhed and sobbed as you felt his fingers find a specific spot. “That’s it love, let those beautiful moans out.” Your legs started to shake and you panted. You rocked your hips desperately on his fingers and he almost came right then and there at the sight.

“That’s it love. Ride them.” He groaned out as he watched you. You cried softly as you continued to rock into his fingers desperately. He could feel you start to clench around him. Growling softly, he went down on you again and pumped his fingers into you rapidly earning a loud cry from you. Your eyes rolled back as you arched off the bed as you hit your peak. Your legs trembled as you fell limp against the mattress, whimpering and panting. Channie kissed up your body as he pulled his fingers out of you and nuzzled his face in your neck.

“I want you so bad.” He whimpered softly as he brushed the tip of his hardened member against your folds. “Please. Please say I can make you mine.” He begged. “Please.”

“Y-Yes.” You whimpered as you held him close. “Please I want to be yours.” He kissed your neck and began to slowly enter you. You whimpered and l clung to him.

“It’s okay love you’re doing so well.” He moaned out as he continued to slowly and gently push himself in. You cried out softly as you felt him push completely into you. Filling you completely and pushing deep into you. You shook beneath him as your arms and legs wrapped around him. “Fuck.” He whimpered softly and held you tight to him. Tears flew down your cheeks from the dull pain his member caused as he claimed you. His thumbs wiped them away gently. “Are you tokay? Do you want to stop?” He asked softly, his eyes filled with concern.

“No please.” You whimpered. “Want this. Want you.” He kissed you deeply and slowly pulled out before completely filling you up once more, making you whine at the feeling. He nipped at your swollen lips and nuzzled his face in your neck. His moans made your neck tingle as he slowly and gently rocked into you.

“So good.” He whimpered. “You feel so good.” His body laid flush against yours. The feeling of your bodies connected in every possible way made you both shake in delight. The pain was still there but the pleasure was slowly taking over you. You moaned out his name over and over as he whispered words of praise and love in your ear. He pulled away to look in between you both, watching his cock sink deep into your soaked pussy over and over.

“Taking me so well.” He groaned out. “Look baby, your pussy was made just for me and me alone.” You blushed deeply as you followed his gaze. The sight only made you shake and moan loudly. Chan spread your legs wide and pushed them up making it easier for him push deeper into you. The feeling made you cry out and your toes curl. His thrusts remained slow but now he was hitting you deep and hard. He was hitting spots made your entire body tremble as you became dazed and see stars.

“Oh god Chan please don’t stop!” You cried softly as you gripped his hands that were holding up your legs. He pulled you closer with a growl and began to slowly slam into you his eyes never leaving your face as he watched you lose control beneath him. The sight enough was making his cock throb, eager to fill you with his hot seed. Your body shook as the bed began to rock from his powerful thrusts and f you felt yourself getting close again. You clenched around him making such filthy and beautiful sounds leave his mouth as he continued to ram into you. He reached between you and began to rub your clit wildly making you scream out at then overwhelming sensation.

“Cum for me.” He growled. “Let go on my cock baby.” Your eyes rolled back and you screamed out his name over and over as you came undone around him. He followed not long after as he whimpered and rutted his hips into you violently as he filled you with his seed. He gently collapsed on top of you. His head laid against your chest as you both panted heavily. He did dare pull out. He didn’t want to. The feeling of being inside you was too addicting. “I love you so much y/n.” He whispered. You where so overwhelmed and dazed that all you could do was whimper in response. You both laid there for the majority, tangled in each other as you kissed and whispered soft proclamations of love to each other and when you felt like it was still a dream Chan reminded you by making love to you until the sun rose the next day.

if you're able to support me and my writing, you can buy me a coffee here :)

Volcano

pairing : han x reader. enemies to lovers. slow burn.

summary : you've never gotten along with han, your mutual prejudices ruining any prospect of friendship between you both. but you slowly realize that you are more similar than what you originally thought- your darkness recognizing his, and his light yearning for yours.

"I'll take care of you. It's horrible work. Not to me, not if it's you."

cw : depiction of a panic attack, minor injury, both reader and han say mean shit to each other, cursing, mention of alcohol, reader has she/her pronouns.

word count : 13.2k

a.n: highly recommend listening to "Let the light in" by Lana when Han starts playing it in the fic hehe feedback is highly appreciated as always <3

skz quotes series masterlist.

You remember being seven years old, sitting on the floor of your bedroom, while your mom brushed your hair. It was a late July night, a cold breeze swaying your white curtains, akin to the fluttering of a butterfly’s wing. Your eyes were slightly puffy, delicate red veins protruding the white of them. You had just finished watching a Disney movie- the Lion King; heavy sobs escaping your lips when Mufasa died.

There were still faint hiccups coursing through you, a slight shake in your hands as you fiddled with the hem of your shirt. Your mom brought you to her chest, her chin resting on your small shoulder blade. "You’re sensitive, my sweet girl" she had uttered, rubbing your arms soothingly.

It was the first time someone described you as such. You didn’t know what ‘sensitive’ entailed exactly, but it contained the word ‘sense’, so you assumed it was something good, a quality to be proud of you. You could sense, maybe more than others, maybe too deeply. That’s why you cried when you didn’t get a good grade, or when your friends left you alone in the park.

But you didn't mind back then. What was your heart made for if not to feel?

You should’ve paid more attention to the way your mom spoke, to the bittersweetness lingering in her tone. As if she knew exactly what it entailed to be sensitive- to have your heart overflow with delicate feelings for the rest of your life, with no safe destination to guard them in.

☄༄

You’ve forgotten the last time you cried in.

The tears are lodged inside your throat- you can clearly feel them, an uncomfortable weight sitting on your vocal cords, rendering them impossible to use.

You used to cry, freely, so much that you lost count of how much it happened. But you realized that every tear that escaped your eyes, made you vulnerable, weaker, in the hands of the people around you. Every tear that washed over you, only rendered you more transparent for everyone to peer at how they wounded your soul. 

So, you conditioned yourself to stop feeling as deeply, or at least to stop showing it. The sadness, the hurt, the anger were all stored within you; but your face remained placid, not betraying how you truly felt. You were like a pond, tranquil at the surface, raging from within.

But on days like this one, you miss the person you were. When the implications of being sensitive still haven’t weighed down on you. When you could get rid of your feelings in the essence of your tears. When you didn’t yet feel bad for feeling.

Chan's eyes are on you, as you type furiously on your laptop. Your vision is so blurry that you can no longer see your lit screen. But you’re afraid that if you pause then Chan would ask if you were okay, and you hated that question. Because you never truly knew the answer to it. Yes, you were okay. But you haven’t cried in six months and your friend didn’t greet you back this morning and you suddenly feel very small in a very large library.

"Hey," Chan taps your hand with his pen and you suck in a slight breath, before raising your head to meet his eyes. "Are you-" he starts but you’re quick to cut him off, knowing exactly where this was headed. "Did you answer question five? I’m stuck on what formula to use."

Chan raises a brow at you, and you blink repeatedly. His eyes travel to your feet tapping furiously against the floor, and he understands.

 "I'm still at number four," he finally says and you nod in relief. You’ve been close friends for a year and Chan has come to know you- he’s dropping the subject.

"Oh, and are you coming to the party tonight?" Chan asks, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He’s hosting it and there is hope twinkling in his eyes. You feel bad because you’re about to crush it.

"No, need to revise more for the upcoming test."

"Of course, you’ll still be buried in your books," a sarcastic voice quips up, and you stiffen inwardly. Han- one-third of 3racha, Chan’s self-made producing group, and the bane of your existence. You never liked who you were around Han, he brought out the worst in you. Made all your insecurities roar forward, plastered across your body in neon red.

He was friends with Chan, long before you came into the picture, back into their high school days when Han skipped a class and ended up in the same one as Chan’s. A genius, as everyone around you liked to call him. And they were right- excelling came easily to Han, in everything he ever did. Even tapping into each one of your tender nooks and crannies.

He knew how to expertly push your buttons, how to make his tone sound mocking, and taunting, but only to you. Because you were sensitive, and he knew it, finding it almost amusing to toy with you. 

You decide to stay silent because nothing good ever comes out of talking back to him. So, you bite your tongue, turning back to look at your screen. But Han’s elbow grazes your arm, as he leans a bit further into your face. "Come on, live a little, y/n. You’re missing out on the college experience," he makes a big show of opening his arms wide, a single red pen spinning between his fingers. "Quit being stuck up for one night." And it spins, and it spins, and it spins and something ugly inside you crumbles.

"I’m sorry I wasn’t born with a golden spoon shoved down my throat and I actually have to work for my future."

Han’s eyes widen at the raw animosity in your voice, before narrowing down promptly. He’s leaning onto your face again, and his tone is low and cold when he speaks again. "What did you just say to me?"

"Is it so hard to grasp that not everyone is as privileged as you? We can’t all afford to get wasted every fucking night and call it a life."

You’re being mean. This is the rudest you’ve ever been to someone else. You know that your reaction is disproportionate to what he said. But it isn’t just about this instant. It’s an amalgam of every moment Han made you feel small in, because you don’t go out as much as him, because you don’t understand as quickly as him. Taunts thrown your way under the guise of teasing, but you know better.

Still, guilt eats at you as your eyes lock with Chan’s. You should’ve stayed silent, as you’ve been diligently doing for the past year.

"How do you stand being her friend Chan? Is it out of pity?" Han muses, a pout pulling at his lips. You stare ahead as Han tsks lightly, before tapping your cheek with his pen, bringing your face back to him. "I think it is. Because isn’t she so fucking boring?"

Being near Han always makes you hyper-aware of things you never noticed before. Like how a breath has to travel from the depths of your body so you’d be able to release it, and how excruciatingly long it takes for you to draw in a new one. Because Han’s words are never harmless, no, they settle on the confines of your lungs, crushing down any bit of oxygen willing to leave you.

You've had enough.

"When you’re eighty, on your deathbed, and all alone. I hope you know that there is no one around to blame but yourself."

"Don’t cross the line, yn," Chan finally speaks and you scoff, as you get up to grab your things.

"What fucking line, Chan? So, he can insult me all day but as soon as I do it there is a line? Why are you taking his side?"

Chan stays silent and you chuckle dryly. "Of course, you are. You’re only friends with me out of pity after all."

"That’s not true-"

"Well, you didn’t deny it, did you Chan?"

"Yn, I-"

"Save it."

Han’s eyes are glossy as you take one final glance at him. But your heart’s bleeding too much for you to care about his minor cut.

☄༄

For how much time can a conversation haunt someone? Seventeen days, for your case. And you're still counting.

You have nit-picked your fight with Han in the library so much that it's driving you insane. His voice is drilled into your head- the coldness of it as he reeled back from the shock of your words, and then, the pure venom dripping from his tone, as he attacked you where it hurt the most. Chan.

Han chose his words carefully, stitched up the sentence perfectly to hurt you, to stick to your flesh like burnt skin, one that you peeled over and over, each time it threatened to scar.

You haven't talked to Chan in seventeen days. He tried to stop you; on your way out of class, in the line of your campus cafeteria, on the doorsteps of your dorm. But you always fleet away. His eyes were also imprinted into your brain- the disappointment in them when you clapped back at Han.

What about him? You wanted to yell. Why are you only disappointed in me?

But the tears in your pillow have dried. Then fallen again. Then dried once more. And you found the answer to question five. And you miss Chan, terribly so.

That's why you're pacing around his dorm, at 10 pm, when it's also terribly cold outside. Your fingers have gone numb from the ministrations of the wind, but you don't move from your place. You know that the chances of seeing Han- the second person you’ve been avoiding like the plague- would be higher here. But you didn't care anymore.

Your thumb hovers over the call button and you bite your lip harshly. Would Chan pick up? Would he hang up? Was he really your friend out of pity?

"Yn?" a voice calls out, and you startle, turning around to see who it is. Changbin, carrying two bags of groceries in his hand. He's Chan’s friend as well, the final member of 3racha. You like Changbin. He's always being very kind to you. You've grown much closer to him than to Han in the past few months; not that the latter has ever wanted a friendship with you. From the day you met and his eyes narrowed promptly each time you talked. You should’ve known from the start.

"Why are you out here in the cold?" Changbin asks gently, stepping cautiously towards you.

"Chan," you say simply and he nods, understanding what you mean.

"He's not here now, but he'll come home soon. Let's go inside, okay?" he smiles tentatively at you and you hum in reply.

Changbin opens the door and you follow inside. You help him take out the groceries silently, stacking them in their fridge and shelves. Lots of protein powder, and chicken packets. You'd laugh about it if you weren't so sad.

"Chan misses you," Changbin speaks up suddenly, and your heartbeat quickens at his words.

"I miss him too."

"Then you'll be okay."

You try to remember Changbin’s reassuring smile when Chan finally opens the door to the dorm, an hour later. He finds you sitting on the stool in the kitchen. His eyes light up once they settle on you.

And you unravel at the sight.

You're crying, sobs rippling from you as he brings you to his chest. He's patting your head and whispering that it's okay. And you know his shirt is all crumpled from clutching it in your hands. But he doesn't mind. He only hugs you tighter.

"I'm sorry, yn. So, so, sorry. I should've stopped him before, I just... You two are my best friends and I didn't want to add fuel to the fire by talking and-"

"It's okay, it's okay, I'm the one who should apologize for ghosting you."

"I understand why you did it. I fucked up but I missed you so much. Can we please never do this again?”

“Yes please,” you giggle, but the sound withers as the door opens once again.

"What is she doing here?" a cold voice breaks you and Chan apart, as your eyes land on Han. His gaze sucks the breath out of you, and the warmth in your heart fizzles out. Your hold on Chan’s shirt tightens and he takes an unconscious step in front of your body. Han doesn't miss the protective gesture.

"Get out, yn."

"You don't get to kick my friends out of my house," Chan is angry. And you regret ever coming here.

"Last I checked it's my house too." Han doesn't even bother looking at you. He's holding Chan’s gaze as if they're silently communicating. "You know damn well what she said why-" he takes a deep breath, running a hand angrily through his hair. "Fuck this. If she's not leaving then I am."

And with that he storms out, slamming the door behind him. You flinch at the sound.

Chan’s eyebrows are knitted as he stares at where Han stood seconds ago as if trying to conjure him up once again. You never wanted to strain their friendship. You knew how much Han cared for Chan, even if he didn't bear the same sentiment for you.

"Chan, I’ll leave. Call Han and tell him I'm gone."

"You don't have to."

"I know," you reassure, placing your hand on his forearm. "We'll talk more later, okay? It's cold and he has nowhere to go. Just call him, please."

"Fine," Chan concedes. "Call me when you get home, alright?" his eyes finally soften and you squeeze his hand in reply, before heading out as well.

The walk from Chan’s dorm to yours is fairly short, but tonight, it seems like kilometers are separating you from the safety of your bed. There is a heavy weight crushing your bones, most of it being guilt at what just transpired between Chan and Han.

That's what comes with being sensitive- you bear the weight of your feelings and the one of those surrounding you.

Were you out of place with what you said to Han? Yes. Was it eating you inside to see the consequences of your words? Yes. But he was also to blame, you repeated in your head. He was also to blame. Please. You plead, you don't know to whom, maybe to the voice in your head to stop being so mean. 'But none of this would've happened if you weren't so sensitive. So easy to bruise' the voice mocks and you stumble on your feet.

It happens so suddenly it takes you off guard- the way the breath is knocked out of you. You pause, chest heaving as you bend down slightly. Your hand is on your heart as you try to breathe again, but it's shaking so much. Your legs give out under you, and you plop down on the floor, eyes tightly shut. You can't breathe. You can't breathe. You're going to pass out.

"Yn, what-" A hand rests on your shoulder but you shake it off. You don't want to be touched. Not by him.

"Let me help-" Han speaks again, and you scramble away from him, as best as you can anyway. You end up kneeling on the ground once again, your back to him. "Get-get away."

"I know you're mad but you aren't okay and I know how horrib-"

"You aren't helping!" you shout through tears, as your heart threatens to spill out of your throat. "You’ve hurt me e-enough already."

You don't remember how you got home that night, how you managed to open the door or cross the road leading to your dorm. But you remember Han leaving you on the cold ground, just like you wanted. You remember the ache in your bones as you laid on your bed; the burning desire to stop feeling for a night, to cut your chest open and tear off your bleeding heart.

☄༄

One month later

If there's one thing you've always complained to Chan about, it's the fact that his building had an elevator in it, unlike yours.

Today, you’ve come to regret this fact. Tremendously.

You’ve been avoiding going to Chan’s dorm for the past weeks since the last thing you wanted was to see Han. But, he insisted on you coming over, reassuring you that it would only be him and Changbin at home since Han supposedly had other plans.

Well, Chan was wrong. Because Han just walked into the elevator you are in, mere moments before its doors closed.

Your breath catches in your throat as his eyes lock on yours. He looks like he wants to say something but he decides against it, opting for sighing loudly instead, before pressing the button leading to the fourth floor, rather harshly.

Your need to flee has never been this strong.

You watch anxiously as the numbers slowly go up. 1… 2… 3… Then a loud voice startles you and the elevator starts to shake in place. The door is suddenly opened and you are met with a cement wall, blocking your exit.

"What the fuck?" Han groans as you press the emergency button repeatedly, hoping that the elevator will resume its course and this nightmare will be forgotten.

It doesn’t.

"You’re going to break the goddamn button," Han pushes your hand away and you stumble away from him.

"Can you shut up? I’m not in the mood for your bullshit."

"Does it look like I’m happy to be here?" Han scoffs, as a ringtone plays in the elevator, cutting you off before you could respond. 

"Hey guys, this happens from time to time, so no need to worry. Is everyone alright?" Someone speaks and you assume it's the worker charged with the maintenance of the elevator.

"Yes," you both reply at the same time.

"Great. We’ve contacted the mechanics but they said there’s a lot of traffic, so it might take a bit longer for them to get here."

"How long?" Han asks the question that’s on your mind as well.

"Two hours, at most, for you to get out."

"Oh, for fuck’s sake," you groan, as hot tears prickle at the corner of your eyes. This is the last thing you needed today- to be stuck in a cramped-up space with the one person who sucks the oxygen out of any room you’re in.

"Thanks, man," Han sighs and you turn your back to him, facing the wall. You’ve had a horrible day, scratch that, a horrible week. Hanging out with Chan and Changbin was the one thing you were looking forward to, only for the worst possible scenario to happen- being stuck in the same place with Han. You feel an urgent need to sob but you can’t cry in front of him. Not when he’s all claws and your skin is tender.

"Wait, are you claustrophobic?" He suddenly asks, seemingly inches away from your body.

"As if you’d fucking care," you scoff, before heading to a corner of the elevator and settling down.

"I'm not a monster, you know," he mutters in an almost sad tone, one that forces you to look up at him. His hands are deep into his pockets, eyebrows knitted as he gazes down at you. "Do you really think I’m that much of an asshole?"

"Yes," you reply instantly, before staring forward again. The hurt that flashes in his eyes shouldn’t tug at your heartstrings, but it does, ever so faintly, like the last wave that grazes your feet as you get out of the ocean. "I’m not claustrophobic," you add after a while and Han finally sits on the opposite side from you.

It’s hot and stuffy in the elevator, and it’s quiet, too quiet for your liking. You’ve never really liked silence for too long, it made the small voice in your head only grow bolder, louder, impossible to ignore.

Thirty-five excruciatingly long minutes go by and the tension only grows more suffocating. It’s simmering, barely beneath the surface, waiting for the person who will finally make it explode. 

It’s Han.

“Can I ask you something?”

“No.”

“Come on, we have nothing else to do.”

“Have you tried being silent?”

"Yn," he says sternly and you begrudgingly concede. "Fine. Ask me."

You imagine him smirking slightly, the way he does each time he manages to push you over the edge.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

“We’re not doing this right now,” you shake your head, tone adamant.

"When’s a better time for it? We’re literally never in the same place."

“And whose fault that is?” You smile too sarcastically and he frowns. “So, I’m the only one to blame?”

“Can’t you see how full of yourself you are? Fuck, Han, this is exactly what I hate about you.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“You’re so immature, you never sit back to think of how your words might impact someone.”

"What words yn? I was teasing you!" his voice grows louder and so does yours. "You were hurting me!" you yell, chest heaving. There is something utterly terrifying in this confession- to let someone know how easy it was for them to get to you.

"But I didn’t mean to," he drags a hand through his hair, exasperated. "It's not my fault you felt that way."

An ironic chuckle leaves your lips, as you point at him. "See, you're doing it again! You're blaming me for my reaction instead of evaluating how your actions might have caused it."

"Look, yn," he scrambles to you until there are only a few centimeters separating your bodies. "I really wanna fix this, okay? Can we stop screaming?"

"Why are you so hellbent on fixing it?" you question, as you lean further away from him. He notices and takes a step back, giving you space.

"Because although I don't care about you, I care about Chan. And this is hurting him. So, I want to be civil with you."

The mention of Chan feels like a cold bucket of water dousing the fire within you. You know he’s struggling to be in the middle of two people he loves. He doesn’t deserve that.

"Fine," you sigh softly. “You talk. I’ll listen.”

"I didn't... I didn't know that my words would hurt you. In truth, it looked like you weren't affected at all. That's why I kept pushing you because… God Yn you're so perfect it maddens me."

Your eyebrows knit together at his words- the last thing you expected to stumble out of his mouth. "What are you talking about?"

"You never get sad, never get angry. Your emotions are always in check. You're always smiling, always laughing. Have everything figured out from how you want to be now to where you want to be in the future. And you know yourself, you never step out of order. And this is selfish and stupid but it irked me. Because I am the opposite of you. I'm a mess and too human it terrifies me, so I wanted to see if you had a breaking point. But each time I taunted you, you remained placid. So, I kept pushing to see if you'd break one day because, selfishly enough, that would make me feel better about how broken I am."

"Han, you're so stupid. Aren't you a literal genius? You excel in everything you do and you have fun on top of it, every single night. Don't you realize how lucky you are?"

"Do you really believe I find joy in being wasted and not even remembering what happened that night? I do that because I'm in my mind most of the days and it isn't the best place to be in. So, I like to forget."

“Why do you think I always bury myself in my studies? Because it's safe and it makes me forget too. Did you really think I didn’t feel? I feel too much and that’s the problem.”

Han remains silent as you curse under your breath. "Do you even realize how selfish this is? To test a human's breaking point? All because what? I didn't shove my struggles down your nose? Would you go around and do this to everyone who looked fine to you?"

"I know, I know, I was just in a bad place, and this isn't an excuse but I... I felt as if you were just showing me everything that was wrong with me."

"That is how I felt around you," you chuckle bitterly and he hangs his head low. He’s much quieter when he speaks again. “I guess we’re more similar than I thought.”

"Doesn't excuse what you did. You targeted me and made me feel insane because no one was hearing the hostility in your tone like I did."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I really am. I never thought it'd get this bad and I deserve every name you called me."

"You do." You close your eyes, as Han’s words wash over you. There is so much more you want to say, so much you want to spit out in his face because of his selfish coping mechanism. But you also want peace, for Chan’s sake. So, you try to bury your resentment, just like you do with every other feeling. One day it’ll turn into indifference. You’ll make sure of it.

You bite your lip, before clearing your throat. Your tone is softer when you speak again. "I'm sorry for what I told you in the library. About you dying alone and whatnot. That wasn't nice of me."

"You really hit the nail with that one," Han chuckles quietly, and guilt floods your heart at the expression on his face. "And I'm sorry for calling you boring. You aren't. And for everything I said before that."

"Okay. It's okay." You reassure, a tiny smile drawn on your lips.

He nods before a sly grin grows on his face. "Should we hug it out?" he teases, cocking an eyebrow at you and you stare pointedly at him. "Don't push your luck."

"Yes, ma'am."

An hour later, the mechanics finally manage to get the elevator going, which in turn allows you both to get out. Han opens the door to the dorm, and you find Chan lying on the couch, scrolling down his phone.

"Han? I thought you would..." he starts before trailing off as he looks up. "Yn? Where were you, I’ve been calling you for the past two hours."

"I didn't have signal."

"Why where were-" Chan goes to question before stopping once again. He hurriedly stands up and walks toward you.

"You... Are standing next to one another."

"We are," Han replies, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

"And you aren't... Fighting?" his statement comes out more like a question, which makes both you and Han chuckle.

"We aren't."

"We talked it out, in the elevator which we were both just stuck in," you add and Chan’s eyes grow wide, as a breathtaking smile breaks out on his face.

"Oh my god. Finally. We'll talk about the elevator bit later but it's been so hard trying not to be in the same place as the both of you."

"We know. We're sorry," you both pout in sync and Chan shakes his head, before opening his arms wide. You giggle, before walking to him and sinking into his embrace. Han follows you shortly after, and your eyes meet behind Chan’s back. He shoots you a tiny thumbs up.

Is this how a dandelion feels, you wonder, when someone blows on it in the hopes it'll grant their selfish wishes. Only to be tossed away afterward, lifeless.

You drown out the thought before smiling back at Han. It doesn’t reach your eyes.

☄༄

Befriending two-thirds of 3racha holds within it a lot of privileges. The first one is listening to unreleased music, the second is having exclusive insight into their upcoming performances.

Their gigs don't happen as often as they'd like, because they're still students who unfortunately have lots of assignments. But when a window of free time materializes, they unveil their latest productions at vibrant parties, dimly lit bars, or even the occasional club. Which attracts a lot of people, some even coming from neighboring towns to listen to them play.

Everyone can recognize raw talent, even if rap doesn't happen to be their favorite genre.

This is how you know that they'll be performing Heyday, their latest creation, at Seungmin’s party. You've met him in passing, and Chan insisted that you'd come. Not that you needed much convincing anyway, you fell in love with this song the minute you heard it.

There is an exhilarating energy in Seungmin’s mansion, a palpable anticipation preceding 3racha’s performance, as you all gaze at the makeshift stage. The place is packed, bodies pressed tightly to one another. You feel slightly uncomfortable but you swallow it down. You're here to support Chan first and foremost, you can leave if things become too much for you.

The introductory chords materialize abruptly, and 3racha takes the stage. Chan is clad in a white shirt with huge gaps on his sides, revealing glimpses of his chest each time he bends down. Changbin, on the opposite end of the spectrum, is wearing a tightly fitted black shirt, hugging each muscle of his to perfection. Han, the last one to walk in, sports a loose black shirt, with a low neckline. His nails are painted to match the color of his attire, you notice.

The song kicks off with Changbin's incendiary rap as deafening cheers ring all around you. You make sure to scream on top of your lungs too, as Changbin’s loud voice commands the attention of everyone in the room. You’ve always held a penchant for his rap style- how powerful he sounds, and how addicted you quickly become to hearing him on stage. You remember once telling him that any song that starts with his rapping is a successful hit. He playfully nudged your shoulder but his appreciative smile was hard to miss.

Chan’s part is next and you try to rap along, as best as you can anyway due to your fleeting memory. It sounds mostly like gibberish but you don’t mind, especially when your eyes meet Chan’s and he grins at you, before morphing into the mesmerizing stage persona that's peculiar to him. You clearly remember the first time you witnessed him on stage, and how enthralled you were by the sheer power he exuded. His destiny was intertwined with music, no one could deny that. 

A bed squeaking sound comes next, followed by the knocking on the door and you giggle against your will. That was Han’s ingenious touch, as Chan had shared when you'd raised a quizzical brow at him while listening. “Is this based on a real-life experience?” You asked, a knowing smirk etched upon your features, and he pretended to zip his mouth, earlobes turning a vibrant shade of crimson.

Han finally starts rapping in his inimitable style, exuding an effortless, laid-back aura. Your gazes meet at the "let's go play" line, and he tilts his head quizzically at you as he utters his confused "huh?". You raise one eyebrow at him prompting a sly smirk from him, before redirecting his attention to the opposite side of the stage. Yet, your eyes remain on him throughout his entire part.

The boys step off the stage, and you watch from the corner of the room with a wide grin as a swarm of people surrounds them. Congratulations and praise fill the air, and you can tell that 3racha thrives on this moment- it's what they live for, what makes their souls rise up from the ashes. 

Chan catches your eye, and you applaud enthusiastically, letting out a happy giggle. He blows you a kiss, and you playfully pretend to catch it, eliciting a small shake of his head. Changbin, who's standing near him, catches the exchange and winks at you from a distance, to which you respond with two thumbs up.

Even though you're a bit far from them, you're certain the boys can sense the pride radiating from you in waves. There's something truly magical about humans existing in their element, particularly people you care about.

Your gaze shifts to Han, and your smile falters slightly. He's also glowing, but signs of discomfort are starting to creep onto his face. You recognize them fairly well, as you've felt them too at times when emotions become overwhelming. So, after a brief internal debate, you decide to act and begin making your way toward him, pushing through the crowd despite the rising complaints behind you.

They fall on deaf ears.

You grab Han's forearm, pulling him with you through the sea of bodies toward the bathroom. He doesn't fight, following diligently behind you. You open the door and pull him inside, pausing as you realize you don't have a specific plan for bringing him here. This is also the first time you've been alone together since the elevator conversation.

"Thank you," Han whispers, and you nod, your eyes softening. "I'm okay, I love performing, I just needed a breather," he quickly adds, as if feeling guilty for being overwhelmed. 

"That's completely understandable. You are running on a lot of adrenaline, and the room is so crowded," you say with a smile, turning to the mirror to touch up your makeup.

Han remains silent for a while as you powder your face, before reapplying your cherry lip gloss. You can hear him taking in deep breaths, and you avoid looking at him, worried he might feel embarrassed.

"What did you think of the performance?" he finally asks, and you raise your head slightly. You lock eyes with him through the mirror, as he leans against the door, arms crossed in front of his chest. His black t-shirt falls a bit, revealing more of his bare skin, and your eyes trail down for a moment.

"It was really good. I think this song might be my favorite of all yours."

"Really?" Han grins, his words filled with an excitement that warms your heart despite yourself. He's just received heaps of compliments from hundreds of people, yet your words still seem to affect him deeply.

"Yes. I loved your rap, how it started in a laid-back manner, and then you cleared your throat and picked up the pace. It added a unique edge to the song."

"Thank you, really," his smile is genuine, and you giggle softly, shaking your head.

"What's funny?" he asks, walking up to you. You're still facing the mirror, and he's now only inches away from you.

"I didn't imagine you'd appreciate my compliment this much."

"It feels sincere," he shrugs and you nod, finally turning around and leaning against the sink.

"It is sincere."

"Good."

You hold his gaze, eyes only trailing down to go across his face. He looks far different from how he did on stage. Shier, more eager for praise.

"You have..." he steps up until the scent of his cologne tickles your nose. His hand raises ever so slowly to your face, and you hold your breath, as he picks up something from your cheek. His hands are warm.

"An eyelash fell. Make a wish."

A surprised chuckle escapes your lips. "You wish on fallen lashes?"

"You wish on everything when you need hope." his voice is low, a timber so foreign to your ears it sends shivers down your spine. So, you close your eyes, wishing for your heart to quit beating so fast.

"Done," you whisper and he blows the single lash away, his gaze still on you.

"Thank you for coming."

"Of course. I had to support Chan and Changbin." It slips from your mouth before you can stop it, and Han slightly recoils from your words.

"Right, them. Yeah. Of course," he finally backs away, and oxygen fills your lungs once again. "I'm good now. Should we go out?"

"After you," you nod tightly and he walks ahead first, his perfume trailing after him and pulling you into a dizzying dance. 

☄༄

The party Seungmin hosted was your last time having fun for a while. Your preparation for midterm exams began soon after, and you found yourself swarmed with assignments left and right. Thankfully, you and Chan were going through it at the same time, which meant you met at the library each day, revising silently near one another.

Except this time, you were joined by Han.

Goosebumps ran across your skin as he pulled the chair next to you, not the good kind of shivers. You were reminded of the fight you had right here, three months ago. Which still left a bitter taste in your mouth.

You don't hate Han anymore. He's actually funny, and you enjoy listening to his ramblings when you go over to Chan's dorm. He's also really different in his home, much quieter, and softer. Much more like you.

But you're also human, and there is still a part of your brain sending off warning signals at his presence. Maybe because the hurt was never buried properly. You just brushed it off under the carpet after your elevator conversation. Most of it was spent shouting anyway.

"Hey," he greets and you just nod in reply. You can feel his gaze linger on you a bit after that, and a pang of guilt twists in your heart. "Hi," you finally reply, but you tune out his response. Why is it that you're sensitive to everyone's emotions but your own?

Twenty minutes go by, then forty, and you can no longer take the uncomfortable feeling clinging to your skin. So, you excuse yourself, hurriedly stepping out of the library.

Han follows you; you can tell it’s him because someone's chair scraped loudly against the floor as soon as you stood up, and that couldn't be Chan because he is always careful with the silence in the library. So, you put on your headphones and walk faster.

This is childish, surely it is, but you can't control your emotions. You've apologized and so did he, you talk from time to time and you even held his arm and took him to a quiet bathroom. So where is all this bitterness coming from?

"Dammit, yn, how are you so fast?" Han grabs your arm pausing you. He's panting slightly and you just blankly stare as he takes in a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" he finally asks and you nod, turning around to walk away. He stops you again.

"I made you uncomfortable, didn't I?" he asks quietly, and you sigh, rubbing your forehead wearily.

"You didn't do anything, I just... Being in that library reminded me of certain things."

"I know. Me too. Can we please talk?"

"We are talking," you raise your brows and he stares pointedly at you. "Come on you know what I mean."

"Fine," you giggle, "we can talk."

"I didn't apologize properly to you in the elevator. Truth is, I did it because Chan was mad at me and I couldn't stand it anymore."

The bitterness- you understand where it comes from now.

"But I am sorry. Truly sorry. I was selfish and I hurt you and this will sound like a joke, but I hate hurting people. I really do. I was just too wrapped up in my problems that I didn't realize how it would affect you and I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I also shouldn't have tried to kick you out that day, but dying alone is my biggest fear, and seeing you in my home made me want to lose my mind because I couldn't get what you said out of my head, but it was so cold outside and again I shouldn't have told you to go out and I am so sorry-"

"Han, breathe," you smile, cutting him off and Han sucks in a deep breath, chest slightly heaving from talking uninterrupted for a minute straight.

"I'm sorry I just wanted to apologize, properly this time. I'm doing it because I'm guilty, not because of Chan. Nothing excuses my behavior, I know. And I wish I could turn back in time and actually get to know you because you're really cool and very nice, but I can't. All I can do is apologize. So I'm sorry, Yn. I really am."

"I appreciate it," you smile, and Han exhales a little from relief. "I didn't know that was your biggest fear, but even if it wasn't, that was uncalled for. I shouldn't have said something so mean. So, I'm sorry for it too. But I'm not apologizing for being mad, you deserved that."

"I did, I did, I know." He's quick to agree. "I don't want us to be awkward around one another. I'm not telling you that you have to be my best friend but, we can be friends, right? But you also don't have to. It's enough if you forgive me and... You know what? Never mind forget I said anything, I'm just nervous and-"

"Okay."

"Okay?" he repeats.

"We can be friends. I accept your truthful apology."

"Actually?"

"Yes."

"Like we can start over?" he grins and you chuckle at the excitement in his face. "Yes."

"Can we hug it out?"

"Too soon," you pout and he nods, a faint blush dusting his cheek.

"Right. Should we go back to the library? I saw that you were stuck on a question. I can help you."

"You won't make any comments?"

"No. Pinky promise." he outstretches his pinky towards you and you muse over it for a bit, before wrapping your finger around his. You grin at Han- your first genuine smile since he's known you. His hold on your pinky falters.

"Okay. I'm in."

.☄༄

Five weeks later- 1:13 a.m.

You were still slightly cautious near Han as if you were both threading along an invisible line. You could talk, but not too much, afraid any old animosity would shine through. And you could stay together, but not too long, in case it gets awkward and you wouldn't know what to do. So, you never mixed, just like water and oil, each of you knowing their place, away from the other.

But you still didn't want to miss out on outings with your friends. So, when Chan invites you for a movie night with Han, and Changbin, you don't say no.

The night runs smoothly, the warm beer you had easing your nerves bit by bit. It was also easier to forget that you once hated Han when he brought tears to your eyes from laughing so hard.

2:56 a.m.

An unbearable heat suddenly envelopes you, your very blood boiling from within. You hesitantly look down, to find your entire body bathed in red, as if your skin had melted away, exposing you to the scorching heat embracing your tender flesh.

You are in the heart of a volcano, with lava bubbling dangerously below. Hanging by a frail thread, you dangle over the edge of death.

And then, you plummet. 

You startle awake, your heart pounding in your chest, your hand clutching it tightly. Cold sweat clings to your skin, and it takes you a few moments to realize that you're safe, far from the inside of the volcano that had threatened to consume you.

You glance at your phone- 3:43 a.m. You read. It's only been a mere hour since you went to sleep. You don't think you could drift back into slumber. 

Dragging a hand tiredly across your face, you walk into the pitch-black kitchen. You pour yourself a glass of water, hoping that the icy drink will cool you down. You are safe.

"What are you-" you startle, dropping the glass and spinning around, hand pressed to your heart.

"Han, fuck, you scared me," you sigh, tugging at your hair slightly and he's quick to your side, a string of hushed apologies tumbling from his lips.

"I'm sorry, here let me clean it up," he kneels and you follow suit, grabbing his hands and gently pushing them away. "No, I dropped it, let me clean," you reassure, but your hands are trembling as you pick up the shards of glass, any bit of logic clouded by your racing thoughts.

Your heartbeat's ringing loudly in your ears, you barely register the glass cutting your skin until an uncharacteristic warmth oozes from your hand. Blood.

"Shit," you curse lowly and Han illuminates the place with his phone flashlight. "Did you cut yourself?" he asks and you shake your head, walking over to the sink.

"It's nothing, don't worry."

"Yn, let me see," he's standing behind you, the ghost of his breath grazing your exposed neck.

"Han, really it's-" he cuts you off, grabbing your forearm and walking you over to the couch. He finally turns on the lights before crouching down in front of you.

"Show me?" he asks gently and you're too tired to fight him. You open your palm tentatively, taking a look at your cut for the first time as well. It's not too deep, it won't require stitches. But it's also not shallow, blood oozing from it at a steady rhythm.

Han simply frowns upon gazing at your wound, before walking over to his room. You don't move from your spot, gaze lost into the space before you. What would happen if you never woke up? Would you feel your flesh burning? Bones melting as the searing lava-

"Here," he gently holds your wrist, as his eyes meet yours. "This will hurt a bit. Hold my arm as tight as you want and tell me if it becomes too much, okay?"

"Okay," you simply nod.

He dabs up your cut with a cotton pad soaked in alcohol. You hiss softly, as the liquid burns your open skin. Han abruptly stops at the sound. "Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry I didn't mean to I just-"

"It's okay," you smile reassuringly, "I can handle it."

Han nods, resuming his treatment. He's even softer this time, if that is even possible. He's careful when he rubs a soothing gel on your cut, before wrapping your palm in a gauze. He can't find a pair of scissors so he cuts it with his teeth, his lips brushing against the back of your hand. You account the warmth you're suddenly feeling to the aftermath of your nightmare.

"Why are you even up?" he finally asks as he settles next to you on the couch, eyes looking up to the ceiling.

"Nightmare."

"You’re okay?" he asks gently and he sounds truly concerned for your well-being. You aren't used to this. To Han acting like a friend to you. But it feels nice to be cared for, so you don't mind him blurring the lines tonight.

"I'm still a little bit scared," you admit sheepishly and Han's eyes soften under the dim moonlight.

"It passed. You're okay now."

"Am I?" you drag a hand tiredly across your face and Han frowns, inching closer to you.

"Is it a recurring dream?"

"Mm. It tires me out."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I just want to forget." 'Help me forget' you want to add, but you decide against it. "Why were you up, anyway?"

"I got inspiration for lyrics so I had to write it down."

"Can you share some with me?" you ask, tone a tad too hopeful. Han catches it and smiles warmly at you.

"Sure. This is probably going to be in the chorus..." he pulls out his phone, heading to his notes app. "This is what I have so far... I let my frustrated screams out hoping that they’d be washed away in the rain. I send it off with a smiling face, down to the last drops left on my fingertips." he pauses, scrolling down a bit more. "I also wrote this; I think it'll be nice in a verse... I’m sure it’ll get better... Just like the earth hardens after the rain and flowers bloom again."

"You're such a talented lyricist Han," you whisper in awe, and Han’s cheeks warm up at your words, reminiscent of a setting sun. "But I also wish it was as easy as this. To let out all the emotions you bottle inside and for them to wash away with the rain." You bite your lip, as Han’s words echo in your head. "I think... I think that's why I get this nightmare. I don't free my emotions anymore, and they show up in my dreams to torment me."

You don't know where these bouts of honesty are coming from. Maybe because you're too weary to keep up a happy facade. Or maybe because you know that the person who wrote these lyrics must understand exactly how you feel.

"Well... It's raining." Han whispers after a while and you look at him, confusion plastered across your features.

"And?"

"Should we test it out?"

"Test what?"

"Screaming under the rain," he says as if it's the most evident thing in the world.

"What? That's insane, Han we will get sick and..." You pause, as the words dissolve in your mouth like the seafoam meeting the shore. "You know what? Let's do it!"

"Really?" he asks incredulously, a huge grin on his face.

"Yes!"

"Okay, let's go!"

You both abruptly stand up, still only clad in your pajamas. You quickly slip your shoes on before running outside. The rain envelops you in a cold hug as soon as you step outside, rain droplets trickling down your clothes. You don't mind, you have lots of bottled-up feelings to free. 

"This needs music," Han smiles as he takes out his phone, putting his playlist on shuffle. 'Let The Light In' starts playing, and you shoot him a thumbs-up.

"It fits the rainy mood," you grin and he nods, squinting his eyes to be able to look at you.

"I think if we scream here, we'll scare the neighbors."

"I know!" you chuckle, wiping away the rain droplets on your forehead. "Where should we go?"

"The empty parking lot!" Han shouts so you'll hear him over the growing rain and you nod. He takes off running and you chase after him. You're both completely drenched once you're a bit far away from the house. But you don't care. Not when there is pure adrenaline rushing through you.

You finally stop, loud giggles escaping your mouth at the thrill of what you're doing. "You should start!" you yell excitedly and Han nods, taking in deep steadying breaths.

"Okay, I'm ready!"

"On the count of three! One... Two... Three!" and Han shouts at the top of his lungs, his screams getting lost in the rain. An incredulous smile breaks out on his face as you giggle loudly, the sound of it ringing out in the downpour.

"You looked insane!"

"I feel insane!" He yells honestly and a fit of laughter takes over you both. You hold his arm to steady yourself. 

"You should try it now!" Han urges and you nod, willing yourself to calm down. 

"Okay, will you count down for me?" 

"Yes," he assures and you clap excitedly. Han can't help but smile at the excitement on your face.

"One... Two... Three!" And you shout, continuous screams spilling from the depths of your soul. Han wasn't wrong- your pain, your fear, your anger are all dripping along the rain droplets, from your bruised heart to the tip of your fingers.

You've never felt this free before.

The two of you don't notice the passage of time, the rain acting as a cathartic release to all your pent-up emotions. It was as if your pain intertwined with each rain droplet, and you were letting go of everything that had held you down. Each scream acted as a break from the burdens of the past, and the worries of the future. 

As you finally stopped, panting and soaked to the bone, you looked at each other with raw exhilaration in your eyes.

"So, how was it?" Han yells over the rain and you break out in a relieved smile. "I don't think I’ve ever been this happy my entire life," you beam at him and the sight makes the rain feel less colder to Han. 

He watches, a small smile on his face as you twirl around, face looking up toward the sky, a deluge of rain grazing your cheeks like a lover's tender touch. The smile doesn't leave your face as you spin around, happy chuckles leaving your mouth from time to time.

You look... free. As if there was an invisible weight on your shoulders that the rain washed away. A heavy burden that you carried within you, like a secret secret. He likes the sound of that. Maybe that's what he'll name his song. 

Han slightly shakes his head as he watches you skip around, clothes completely soaked. You are now standing a bit far away, right beside a street lamp.

Ooh, let the light in

Its light shines on you alone.

Time seems to slow down, as Han’s steps falter. You're smiling, not at him, but at the universe. A happiness so raw filling you that it needs to come out, even if no one's watching.

You're spinning around, delighted giggles spilling from you like the most mesmerizing chorus. Something is building up inside Han, begging for a release. It refuses to come out in a scream- violently. It's tender and soft. He thinks that if you held his hand right now, you'd be able to free it.

Look at us, you and I back at it again

Is it possible to feel something other than an emotion? Because right now, weirdly, all he feels is you.

Cause I love to love to love to love you

I hate to hate to hate to hate you

Your eyes land on Han and there is pure joy dancing in your pupils. He's glad you no longer despise him. He doesn't think he can stomach it anymore.

Cause I want to want to want to want you

You run to him, holding his hand before twirling him around.

I need to need to need to need you

Han can't believe he ever thought you weren't human enough. You are a mosaic of every feeling that makes one human. There are lyrics writing themselves in his head and they're all about you.

Ooh, let the light in

You clasp both his hands, before crossing them over. And then you're both spinning around until the world around you blurs. All he sees is you, and the light surrounding you alone.

Ooh, turn your light on

He thinks he might, if the light is you.

5:22 a.m

"There is a heater in my room, you should come," Han offers as you dry your hair with the blue towel he just handed you.

"It's okay I’ll stay here," you point to the couch but he shakes his head adamantly. "You'll die from hypothermia. Do you know how mad Chan will be if I let you pass away?" he whispers in fear, a hand clutching his heart.

"So dramatic," you giggle, before following him into his room. He goes on his bed first before tapping the spot beside him. You sigh before lying next to him, snuggling further into the hoodie he gave you to change.

"You're still shivering," he remarks, as your teeth clink together.

"It's okay."

"You shouldn't have gone out with just a t-shirt."

"I didn't exactly plan on this, you know," you smile sarcastically and Han chuckles before tapping your shoulder softly.

"Come closer."

You debate for a second before complying, the cold tuning out all the rational thoughts in your head. 

Your arm brushes against his and you can't breathe once again. But it's a different type of deprivation. Han always seems to steal the oxygen from your lungs, but for once, you don't mind. Red embers are burning within you and their flames keep you alive. You press your chest to his back, as your forehead rests on his shoulder. Maybe he'll turn you to ashes. Will you rise from them?

"You're so cold," his hand reaches behind to rub your arms soothingly, an earnest attempt to warm you up.

"I’ll be fine, go to sleep. Don't worry about me."

"I can't control it."

In the dark room, Han can't see you curling your hand into a tight fist at his words. 

"If you stay quiet then I’ll sleep," you say after a while and Han giggles softly.

"That's the goal. You need to rest."

"You should sleep too."

"I will."

"Okay. Good night, Han."

"Good night, Yn."

You think he's fallen asleep when you speak up again. "Hey, Han."

"Yes, Yn?" He replies instantly, voice slightly hoarse. 

"Can you repeat that lyric to me, about the flowers blooming again?" You ask quietly, and you feel him nodding against your chest.

"I’m sure it’ll get better... Just like the earth hardens after the rain and flowers bloom again."

His warm voice vibrates within your body. "That's a nice lyric."

"I hope you'll dream of it instead."

☄༄

Against Han’s strong belief, he's the one who fell sick after your rain-soaked outing. 

You knew of it from Chan, who texted you saying that Han caught a nasty cold, and then got food poisoning, which meant he couldn't be there for their highly anticipated meeting—after their electrifying Heyday performance, a record label expressed strong interest in signing them. 

"Can you come over and stay with Han?" Chan implores as soon as he answers your call.

“That bad?” You ask, a pout pulling at your lips.

"I don't want to leave him alone. He's been really sick for the past week now, and… it's partly your fault"

"I can’t believe you’re guilt-tripping me into coming," you chuckle even though you know he is right. Han wouldn’t have gotten out in the rain if it wasn’t for you.

"I'm sorry it’s just I don't think he's been good, apart from the illness. And I’m worried, and I don’t know I thought maybe you could talk to him. He reminds me of you, in his sadness, so you might understand what's wrong more than me."

You think it over for a second before rising up from your bed.

"I'm coming"

As soon as you step inside their dorm, Chan pulls you for a side hug, placing a quick kiss on your forehead. “Thank you so much,” he whispers, clearly grateful that you agreed to come. It worries you even more for Han.

“No problem. You can go, I’ll be with him.”

“Thank you, Yn” Changbin smiles before hastily pulling Chan outside the door. You wave them both goodbye.

You cautiously crack open the door to Han’s room, to find it completely engulfed in darkness. The stream of light from the door falls upon Han, who squints his eyes, trying to see who disrupted his fragile peace.

"Hi," you speak softly, finding it a bit odd to raise your voice in such a still room. Han attempts to sit up, before doubling over, hand tightly clutched around his stomach.

You rush to his side, kneeling beside his bed. It's the only lit-up part of the room.

"Still hurts?" you ask, your hand moving in soothing circles on his back. He nods, eyes squeezed shut, and you feel your heart crack at the sight.

"Have you taken any medicine?"

"A few hours ago. I need to eat something before I can take more, but I can't get up to the kitchen."

"Why didn't you tell the boys?"

"Didn't want to be a burden."

"You aren't. I'll make you something to eat. Okay? Try to sleep meanwhile."

"You don't have to," Han shakes his head, his eyes finally meeting yours.

"I know," you smile softly, before exiting the room.

Minutes later, you're back in the room, a bowl of sliced fruit in your hands.

"Do you guys live off protein powder and frozen chicken?" you ask, earning a quiet laugh from Han as he lays his back against the headboard.

"We do. Please save me," he jokes and you laugh, shaking your head. "Good thing I grabbed some fruit before leaving."

"Thank you," he grins, eyes slightly squinting closed. 

"Here," you grab a strawberry, bringing it to his lips. His eyebrows raise up in surprise, a sheen layer of sweat coating them. "What? Look at how tightly you're clutching the comforter," you point to his hands and Han sighs, before parting his lips slightly.

His mouth brushes against your fingertips, igniting a cascade of emotions in you. You'll think about what it means later.

You grab a green grape next, feeding it to him gently. A drop of water trickles down the corner of his mouth, and you wipe it away with the back of your finger.

"I can- I can do it," Han mumbles, voice wavering like an unpredictable storm. His trembling hands reach for the bowl, but they struggle to hold it right.

"Han, it's okay, I don't mind," you try to keep your voice gentle, sensing that there is an impending doom awaiting just below the surface.

"No, I- I need to do it. Just let me-" A tear falls into the fruit bowl. "Let me do it, please. I can- I can do it, I’m not useless, I…"

The floodgate opens.

A stream of tears escapes Han's eyes as he looks down at the bowl between his hands. He's crying, eyes tightly shut and the small whimpers escaping his lips feel like a dagger piercing your heart.

"You're sick. Let me take care of you."

"It's horrible horrible work." His voice cracks as his eyes finally lock on yours, and you can tell that his anguish isn't about his illness. These are the words of the shadows threatening to swallow him whole. You have to fight them off with the light.

"I will do it."

As Han lays on his bed, the sound of you washing the dishes resonating from the kitchen, your voice bounces off the dark walls in his head. You didn't try to convince him that it was easy work, you told him you'll do it, even if it's horrible. You'll do it because you want to, not because you can, not because it's accessible. The thought sends a warmth in his chest. It's faint, like a flickering candle trying its best to withstand the wind. But it's there. He holds on to it. He'll shield it with his cupped hands so it wouldn't fizzle out. 

"Hannie, you’re okay?" you peer into the room. Hannie- the candle's flame grows higher.

"Mm," he hums, too weak to turn and look at you.

"You're shivering," you remark, and he tightens the blanket around his body. "It'll pass."

You stay silent, and he thinks you've left the room. But then he feels the left side of the bed dip, with you climbing tentatively on it.

"This worked last time when I was cold," you smile softly at him, before bringing his head to your chest and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He feels frail and fragile in your embrace. You hug him tighter to you.

"Warming up?" you ask and he nods against your chest. He's burning.

"Try to sleep," you urge quietly, your hand moving to pat his back. "It will pass."

"What if it doesn't?" Han asks faintly. Please don't let the candle die, he wants to plead.

"There is always light at the end of the tunnel."

"What if the tunnel is closed?"

"Then you go back to the start and find a new one," you respond.

"Can I find it later? I'm so tired tonight." His voice is drowsy, sleep already clinging to his achy bones. 

"Just rest for now. You did well," you scratch his back lightly, as he nuzzles further into the crook of your neck. 

There was never a candle to begin with- you were the light.

☄༄

Had someone told you five months ago that you'd be lying on Han's bed, watching "Howl's Moving Castle" at 2 a.m., you would've thought they were utterly delusional.

Yet, here you are now.

A lot of things had changed since your rainy outing with Han, as if the universe had shifted into alignment, two stars in the sky finally colliding and making way for something new. You saw him under a different light, understanding that no one picks up a dandelion unless they desperately need the solace it provides.

You've grown to care for him, in the course of the past two months. And funnily enough, you've started to like who you were next to him- just yourself, with no pressure of making conversation, or catering to his expectations of you.

He saw you at your worst anyway, and so did you, there was no use in filtering things anymore.

You've been there through the entire process of writing, composing, and producing Secret Secret- the song whose lyrics had captured your heart. You didn't expect him to ask you to be there with him, he just shot you a text, three days after you came over to his house. 'Wanna be there while I work on the song? I know you liked the lyrics.' It was an offer you couldn't pass up on.

You weren't, in your opinion, much help. Han was gifted in the music realm and song-making flowed naturally from him. But he noticed how interested you were in music, so he called you over each time he worked on the song, even asking for your input at times.

That's why, when the song was finally done and released on 3racha's Spotify account, you decided to celebrate by baking him a cake. You may have dropped an eggshell in the batter (you recovered it later on), and the icing's color turned out less vibrant than what you hoped for. But you managed to adorn it with a garden of little flowers, and with store-bought icing, you wrote the words "after the rain flowers will bloom again."

You showed up to the dorm and Changbin pointed you to Han's room, where he had apparently been holed up all day. You shot him a grateful smile, before pushing the door open with your foot.

"What are you doing here?" Han asked, an incredulous smile drawn on his lips.

"Surprise!" you grinned, pushing the cake his way. "Congrats on making Secret Secret."

"Are you serious?" he chuckled, jumping out of his bed. He peered at the cake, eyes softening as he gazed down at the design.

"You drew a little garden..." he whispered in awe and you nodded, a faint blush creeping up your face.

"I'm glad you recognized what it was. I'm not the best baker," you admit a bit shyly but he shook his head. "It's perfect. I can't believe you did this to celebrate our baby!"

"Your baby," you corrected, although the use of 'our' warmed up your chest, weirdly enough.

"You were here with me every step of the way. She's ours."

"It's a she?" you giggled, and he smiled proudly.

"Mm. Do you accept being her mother?" he mused; hands clasped in front of his heart like he was praying you'd say yes.

"It would be my greatest honor," you nodded solemnly, and he let out a breathy chuckle, grabbing the cake from your hands and setting it on his bed.

"Should we hug it out?" he teased, arms stretched wide but you merely stared at him, unimpressed.

"Come on," he whined, "you can't reject me for the third time. And, in front of our child. On her birthday!" his tone grew louder and you couldn't help but giggle at his mock outrage.

"Try harder."

"Our child won't know what a loving parent relationship is and then she'll seek out unhealthy love from the ones around her and-" you cut him off by finally wrapping your arms around him.

You've always known that being near Han left you breathless, but this time, it felt as though he was breathing life into you. You close your eyes instinctively, as his hold tightens on you. He smells immensely nice, like pinewood and soap. You should've hugged him sooner.

"Thank you," he said quietly, forehead pressed against your shoulder blade.

"You did well," you whisper back.

"We did. She's our child, remember?" he reprimanded and you laughed faintly.

"Yeah, ours."

Hours later, the movie's credits finally roll down, and the finished cake sits idly by Han's desk.

"I should go," you rub your eyes tiredly, and Han stares at you as if you are out of your mind.

"At this hour? Do you want our kid to lose her mom?"

"Han," you drawl, hitting his head with the pillow next to you. "You can't hold me hostage."

"I can, as your husband."

"Since when are we married?"

"Since you agreed to be Secret's mother." Another playful hit to his face.

"Stop attacking my face, how will I get laid then?"

"So, you are cheating on me?" you ask, feigning outrage.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby you're the only one I want." You falter at the nickname before hitting him even harder, matching the tempo of your quickening heartbeat.

"You're crazy," he laughs, grabbing your wrists and pinning you onto the bed. He's hovering over you, eyes hooded with a tender intensity as he gazes down at you.

"Will you stay, please?"

"The couch is uncomfortable," you reply, avoiding his eyes. He lets go of one wrist before holding your chin gently, urging you to look at him.

"You can sleep here. We've done it before."

"You were freezing both times. That's why I did it."

"I'm very cold tonight," he pouts, eliciting a surprised chuckle from you.

"Are you now?"

"Very much so."

"Fine. Only because I don't want you to die from hypothermia."

"Thank you!" he grins excitedly, finally letting go of your wrist. You bring a hand to your flushed cheeks, as he tosses a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants in your direction.

"Get changed! There is a spare toothbrush in the cabinet."

You make sure to groan theatrically, before heading into the bathroom, where you splash your face repeatedly with water. You aren't used to this- being a blushy mess, because of Han, nonetheless. It was dizzying you, how things took the complete opposite turn between you and him.

At least, back then you weren't alone in your hate, you couldn't stand being alone in your affection.

So, you'd stop this, whatever feeling that's coursing through you. Tomorrow, you will firmly close the door on the blooming feelings within you. But tonight, you’d both lay on the same bed, arms brushing against one another. It's completely dark and quiet, but there is an entire symphony playing within you.

"Thank you for today," he whispers, turning around and tucking his arm under his head, this way he's facing you.

You mirror his actions, and your fingertips brush against one another. You can't see him but you can feel him. He's everywhere, wrapping around all your senses. 

"Thank you for making this song. It's very comforting to me."

"Why is that?" he questions, inching closer to you, you can feel his minty breath fan all over your face.

"I’ve always felt like I carried too many emotions within me. Like a volcano, bubbling over until the day I explode. I never liked feeling this way, so I tried to hide it," you confess softly.

"Like a secret secret."

"Like a secret secret," you repeat, glad that he understands.

"You don't have to hide with me," he says after a few silent beats, and you swallow nervously.

"I know." you lick your lips as the music inside you grows louder. "Still cold?"

"A little."

"Come closer," you beckon, and he complies instantly, wrapping his arm behind your back and drawing your chest close to his. Your legs entangle with one another, as your face lays on the crook of his neck. It's intimate, far more than any time you've done it before. You don't want to sink in his hold in fear of never resurfacing again.

"Good?" he asks, voice tinged with a newfound raspiness. 

"Mm," you hum, and he releases a relieved sigh.

You've once read that everything in this universe sings. Every atom's vibration creates a sound, contributing to a grand celestial chorus. It's an unscientific, but lovely thought, to wonder who our hearts sing for.

Right now, it's for Han.

☄༄

The music echoes through your being, an ever-present melody that refuses to fade into silence. Even with no audience to enjoy it.

Han always found his way back to your side, no matter how many times you've tried to distance yourself from him. And you couldn't bring yourself to refuse him, because you were friends, first and foremost. And friends don't abandon one another just because a mere glance at them sprouts a blush across your cheeks. 

That's how you find yourself on your way to Han's dorm, for the third time that week. Watching movies together has become your little tradition, for the past few months, and sometimes even Chan joins in. Although he mostly enjoys shooting you a knowing smile, to which you flip him off.

Your phone rings and Han's name illuminates your screen. You smile against your will.

"Can't wait to see me this much?" you singsong and Han's chuckle rings through the phone. It's rich and deep, causing you to tighten your hold on the device.

"Yes. And can you please go to the store? I'm out of snacks."

"What do I get out of it?" you muse, changing directions to the nearest convenience store.

"Snacks."

"Asshole," you giggle on your way to cross the road.

"And my eternal gratitude of course."

"Right, because I can't-" Loud tires screech right beside you and you startle, letting out a loud yelp as you drop your phone.

A hand on top of your heart, you bend down to pick up your fallen device, as the driver gets out of the car that grazed your body, mere inches away from hitting you. 

"Are you okay, miss? I'm sorry I didn't see you." The middle-aged man is quick to your side, and you glance at the small kid in his car, willing yourself to calm down for their sake.

"I'm fine. Just a bit startled. Drive more slowly, there is a kid with you."

"I know, I'm sorry," he drags a hand through his stressed features and you couldn't help but feel sympathy for him. "It's okay, don't worry about it. Just pay more attention to the road, okay?"

"Thank you so much. Thank you," he clasps his hand in gratitude before getting back to his car and you wave him off, your heart still wildly beating in your chest.

You head into the convenience store, picking up the snacks you know Han loves before paying for them. But as soon as you step back outside, you spot a disheveled Han crossing the road, sprinting toward the store. His pace quickens upon spotting you.

"What are you..." your question is cut short as his arms wrap around you, pulling you to his chest instantly. You can feel the frantic rhythm of his heart, and you're confused as he pulls away, hands cradling your cheeks and turning your face left and right.

"You're alright, nothing happened to you, right? You’re okay?" he inquires urgently and you let out a confused giggle, as you grab his arm to steady him.

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard the tires screech and you yelled and then you didn't pick up when I called and I thought-" his voice cracks. "I thought something happened to you."

"No, no. I'm okay. Nothing happened, I promise." you reassure, as he brings you to his chest once again, his hand smoothing the top of your hair.

"I was so scared," he kisses your temple, as his thumping heart resounds within your chest. "So terrified that something would happen to you. I thought I'd lose my mind."

"You don't mean that," you shake your head slowly, peeling yourself away from him.

"Can you really not see how much I care about you? How I crave being near you?" his voice raises a slight octave. The music in you picks up.

"How long do I have to pretend to be cold to have you nearby? For god's sake, I'm never cold around you, yn. When I see you, I ignite." He takes in a deep breath, pressing his forehead onto your shoulder. "And I... I couldn't have lived with myself if something happened to you. I... You drive me crazy, Yn. When we became friends it felt like I was stepping inside a home for the first time, and yet I already knew each turn in it."

He grabs your arms, shaking you slightly as his chest heaves up and down. "My darkness recognizes yours and my light is you and you- you think I wouldn't care if anything happened to you?"

He shakes his head as tears prickle in the corners of his eyes. Has his music always been this loud, were you just not listening properly?

"I'm scared because we didn't start well and I understand if a part of your heart still resents me, I do. But I don't think I can pretend anymore. Not with you," his voice softens as his gaze locks on yours.

"Were you pretending too?" He asks, hope dripping from his tone. "Do you feel it too?"

A split second goes by. A candle flickering somewhere. A dandelion plucked from the ground. The shadow of a cloud passing over the sun- and you pick.

"I feel it too. So much that my heart feels like it’s singing for you, Han."

"I'll sing for it in return," he whispers, before crashing his lips onto yours. His hand slides up the back of your neck, drawing you closer. You drop the bags of groceries as you cradle his cheeks, feeling them warm up beneath your touch. You can't believe you've ever disliked your heart for feeling too much, not when the lovely emotions flowing in your heart threaten to burst it at the seams, submerging you in a warmth you've never known before- Han. 

Two months later

You have 3 new messages from: hannie

"kept this song a secret from you baby but i wrote it for you so you can't be mad"

"i don't know if you remember but you’ve once told me that you are a volcano. as if that’s something that’s supposed to put me off. well, some people dedicate their lives to studying volcanos. and i would dedicate mine to learning you."

"Volcano.mp3."

Light.