Holy Shit

Holy shit

an assortment of post-los headcanons

- Horace falls in love with the advancements of fashion, duh. He would dress like a rich white boy who’s family vacations in Costa Rica or Aruba and whose dad buys his way into an Ivy League. - Emma and Bronwyn love the progress in fashion, but mostly for the pants. - All the kids got like, ridiculous, amounts of pre-WW2 history knowlege from like 80 years worth of tutelage. therefore, jacob comes home with a fuck ton of WW1 homework, and you know who sits patiently with him and helps him study? Claire - Everyone loves the “new” music except for maybe Claire and Millard. - Please imagine Bronwyn being wildly into disco music. - Enoch and Hugh nearly have a heart attack when Jacob introduces them to his Xbox and game library. They are positively addicted. (He hasn’t told them about the PlayStation yet. It’s been four months. They aren’t slowing down soon) - “Olive gimme my phone back– Olive why am I now the world’s 15th best Candy Crush player”

I have a recurring fear that I may actually be mentally handicapped, but everyone is working together to allow me to live a perceived normal life.

The person who actually counted it...

Enoch: Horace, tell Caul where he can stick his grapes

Horace: In the fridge!

Enoch: Horace, no!

God damnit!!!! This is not okay!

jacob has a polaroid camera. he’s not passionate about all that much Before, but photography comes close. when the peculiar children come back to live with them in the 21st century, he takes a lot of pictures of them.

emma doesn’t like having her picture taken, but that doesn’t change the fact that there are more of her than anyone else. most of them are blurry from her vain attempts to get jacob to “Stop, I look horrible–Jacob you bugger!” Sometimes though, you can see little bits of her face through the blurriness. A laugh or a smile. Those are some of his favorites.

jacob makes sure that he takes as many photos of Millard Holding Things as he can. there are a lot of pictures of floating books or pens. when he dresses up, he always snaps pictures of the floating set of clothes. jacob once made him pose for a selfie and “Say cheese!” Millard teased him for the pointless activity, but he felt so happy and accepted inside afterwards.

jacob doesn’t let enoch or horace around the camera anymore. enoch flips back and forth between behaving like a wet cat when he thinks his picture is being taken or wrestling it out of jacobs hands and then taking as many photos as he can of absolutely nothing, just to waste jacob’s film and money (“What? It’s not like you’ll go broke from it.”) horace on the other hand is such a camera hog. he’ll ask jacob to take a picture of him….and then another…. and another…. he then takes them all and jacob never sees them again.

bronwyn is such a mom around photos. she has a default photo face that’s always the exact same, regardless of the situation. more often then not, she’s the one insisting that they “behave” and “dont stick your tongue out this is supposed to be the formal picture.”

olive is the kid who does the silliest faces and poses when she thinks shes being photographed. she’ll stick out her tongue, cross her eyes, anything to ruin the shot. she likes roping (haha get it rope) claire into taking pictures with her. claire is incredibly reluctant but takes it like a champ. very rarely, one of olive’s silly faces gets a giggle out of a usually stoic claire.

hugh barely notices when jacob asks him for a picture. all his pictures are some kind of candid. some of them are happy: there’s a hugh smiling at the dinner table, hugh talking to millard in the backyard or the beach, or a hugh taking care of his bees. a lot of them are far more solemn. he has a kind of faraway look in his eyes as he sits on a couch or something, staring out of a window. when jacob looks over his photos later, he’s incredibly confused until he realizes something:

Jacob has no photos of Fiona.