Who Says I Can't Read Anime Fics Just Because This Acc Is All For Kpop Idols?

who says i can't read anime fics just because this acc is all for kpop idols?🤨🙄

Self Love || Shoto Todoroki

A/n : Prompt 26 of the Smutember 2023 ( It's my first time writing a fic that is not x reader 🍰✨ )

The list of prompts is HERE

Smutember 2023 Masterlist ⚜

Warnings : no mention of gender for reader, mention of reader being Shoto's partner, masturbation, mention of mutual masturbation, 18+ READERS ONLY and wrap it before you tap it

Masterlist ⚜

I don’t give permission to repost my work, if you want to share it just reblogue it

Word count : 863

He usually never lets himself get caught by those types of urges. He always has the upper hand on his feelings but tonight it felt different. He just knew he didn’t need some good old fucking with you, but maybe something a little more personal. It has been a while he thought about this, because when he is with you if he has any desires he’d prefer to address them in your arms.

Though, looking at the digital numbers on the clock and seeing it was about 11 pm he decided he was too lazy to even think about disturbing you at this hour, getting started, doing the do and then shower. He pondered a little and then he decided that a bit of self-love couldn’t hurt.

So once he was dressed in comfortable pajamas he slided under the warm blankets of his bed. Once he was cozy in his bed, his face feeling refreshed from the water he had splattered on it, he let out a little sigh as he closed his eyes. His right hand - the warmer one - traveled languidly to the place he needed it the most. His fingers tracing lazy patterns on the outline, his already straining cock drew under his pants. He felt it a bit through the fabric before gently raising his hips so he would be able to lower his pajama pants and his boxer.

Once free, his member bounced up and stood proud under the covers. He delicately grabbed the base with his right hand and put some pressure on it. He liked to feel himself throb with each beat of his heart, in his hand like this at the mere contact of the heat. But he needed more, he needed release and a quick one. So he brought his other hand - the cooler one - with which he took a hold of the upper part of his erection. His thumb slowly spread the pre cum on the swollen tip. His hips bucked up at his own touch, it was clearly handy to have two modes of temperature within arms reach, the contrast made everything just so much exhilarating. And knowing it has been a while since he last masturbated like this, it just felt perfect.

The hand at the base gingerly started to stroke while the other stayed focused on stimulating the sensitive head. His cock continuously released glistening pre and he couldn’t help but moan softly some curses under his breath “Damn it”

His hands gripped a bit tighter as he started to think about you, maybe you too were touching yourself at the same time. Without losing an instant his rhythm changed and he stroked rapidly his pulsating length, giving it all the attention he needed. He stopped everything and sat up to quickly take off his shirt, it was starting to get so hot under his clothes, his chiseled chest flexed with each throb of his length. Then he lied back down and spat - not a lot - in his right hand to help fluidify his motions at the base, before getting lower and gently fondling his heavy balls.

He bit his lower lip to stifle any more sounds he would make and which could be heard throughout the dorms. But fuck it just felt right at the moment. He continued to stroke alternating between swift movements and more gentler and controlled ones. He then felt himself throb even harder, his balls tightened and his shaft that he was still stroking under the blanket became incredibly flushed, ready to let out all his pent up pleasure.

He took a sharp intake of breath as he felt himself reaching climax. His warm hand kept stroking whereas his other hand pulled the covers down as he reached for a tissue on his bedside table. His hand stilled for a brief moment as he froze and then he felt it wash over his like a torrent “Oh- fuck… mmmh yes” he moaned resuming his strokes more languidly now as his cock spurted and released sticky white ropes of cum in the tissue he just took. His feet were planted in the mattress as his head was thrown back against the fluffy pillows. His breath was slightly shallow as his chest rose and fell with each intake and exhale.

Once he was sure he was perfectly empty he let go of his softening cock not yet bothering about putting his clothes nor the covers back on, because of how hot everything felt around him. His mismatched hair stuck to his forehead but he couldn’t care any less.

Clearly a bit of self-love couldn’t be denied tonight and it obviously felt more than good. He just missed you a little while he was doing his stuff alone. As he lies in bed he can’t help but think how good it would have felt if he were to do the same but with you there, and maybe even having you here, touching yourself next to him. The thought of it is almost making him hard again, but it’s late and he has to sleep, he’ll address everything with you tomorrow and who knows you might really be into it.

💕💕💕💕

©️nuchellxzz

    cold hearted!jeonghan + virginity loss

— after the rumors spread about Jeonghan, the coldest guy in the university, having the biggest crush on you, you ask him to be your first.

WARNINGS: +18, smut, virginity loss, oral (f. receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, begging, protected sex.

KINKTOBER MASTERLIST

it feels almost too easy.

you’ve spent years skirting around the idea, dropping hints here and there to guys you thought could be good enough, but somehow it never worked out. none of them felt right—not that it was about romance, but the hesitation always lingered when it came down to it. maybe it was nerves, maybe it was the wrong guys, but the frustration built up to the point where you just wanted to get it over with.

and then there’s jeonghan.

the guy everyone whispers about, cold-hearted, unapproachable, but with a reputation that’s impossible to ignore. girls gossiping in between lectures, bathrooms filled with whispers of him being distant yet insanely attractive. and somewhere along the line, you heard it—the rumor that he had the fattest crush on you.

the thought of it festered in your mind for weeks. yo know him, a few polite exchanges, some assignments you did together, pairing up on p.e... there’s a confidence in your gut that he’ll say yes.

you hadn’t planned on showing up at his dorm unannounced, yet here you are, standing outside jeonghan’s door with a racing heart and sweaty palms. knocking felt surreal, like a dream you might regret later, but you do it anyway because you’re desperate. a familiar, twisted excitement coils low in your stomach when you hear footsteps, and the door swings open to reveal jeonghan—leaning against the frame, as nonchalant as ever.

“what’s up?” he asks, eyes scanning your face like he’s trying to read your thoughts. the casualness in his voice makes you almost forget why you’re here. almost.

“can i come in?” you stammer.

he steps aside without a word, allowing you to slip past him into the small room. his dorm smells faintly of laundry detergent and something minty. it’s tidy, too—unexpectedly so.

“this is new,” he says, sitting on the edge of his bed, arms folded, watching you. “you showing up here and all.”

you laugh nervously, wringing your hands as you stand awkwardly in the middle of the room. “yeah, well… i’ve been thinking.”

his eyebrow quirks up, like he’s daring you to keep going. but you hesitate, biting your lip, trying to find the right words. you’ve played this conversation out in your head a thousand times, but now, under his steady gaze, everything feels impossible to say.

he tilts his head. “you’re not here to ask me about the assignment, are you?”

“no,” you blurt, suddenly sitting down on the chair next to his bed. you can’t meet his eyes. “it’s… something else.”

silence stretches between you. jeonghan waits, patient, but there’s something flickering in his expression now—curiosity, maybe.

you take a deep breath, your voice shaky but determined. “i want you to be my first.”

his eyes widen, and for the first time, jeonghan looks genuinely caught off guard. “what?”

“i… i want to lose my virginity.” you blurt out, no point in dancing around it anymore. you’ve been holding onto this for years, and you’re tired. tired of hearing your friends share their stories, tired of feeling left behind.

“you want me to do it?” he shakes his head, leaning back on his elbows, processing your words. “so what, you just wanna pop your cherry and bounce?”

“no!” you shake your head quickly, heart pounding as you try to explain. “i just… i don’t want my first time to be with some asshole. everyone else would treat me like a joke. but you… you wouldn’t, right?” your voice is small, and you hate how vulnerable you sound, but it’s true. jeonghan might have a reputation, but he’s never been cruel.

he closes his eyes, tipping his head back against the wall. inside, you can tell he’s thrilled—maybe he’s been dreaming about this. but the mask he wears is cold, detached, like he’s doing you a favor.

“you’re serious?” he asks, voice low.

“yeah,” you whisper.

he doesn’t move for a moment, just staring at you, like he’s deciding whether or not to believe you. then, slowly, he leans in, his face inches from yours. his breath is warm, and your heart skips a beat. it’s almost too much to handle, and you blink up at him, your voice a nervous squeak.

“are you… are you gonna kiss me?”

jeonghan furrows his brow, like it’s the dumbest question he’s ever heard. “what, you thought i was just gonna—” he stops, and you see the slightest flicker of a smile. “—get straight to it?”

you shrink into yourself a little, cheeks burning. “maybe?”

he chuckles, a low, rumbling sound that makes your stomach twist. “nah, you’re way too cute for that.”

before you can respond, his lips are on yours—wet, sloppy, and everything you didn’t expect. there’s no rush, no hurried fumbling. just him, kissing you slow and deep, making sure you feel everything. his hand moves to the back of your neck, pulling you closer as you melt into the kiss, your body buzzing.

then, he takes your hand, guiding it down to his lap, pressing it against the hard length straining through his sweatpants. you freeze, your breath hitching at the sudden contact.

“feel that?” he murmurs against your lips, voice husky. “that’s going inside you.. do you think you can take it.”

your fingers curl around him instinctively, squeezing just enough to make him groan softly. “i can.” you bite your lip.

“still sure about this?” he asks, his breath heavy.

you nod.

jeonghan's hands are all over you, moving so effortlessly, and before you know it, your clothes are off, tossed somewhere in the room. he’s slow, but it’s not the kind of slow that makes you feel exposed—more like he’s savoring the moment, taking his time like he’s got all night. and maybe he does.

when he spreads your legs, the sudden awareness of what’s happening, of how vulnerable you are, hits you. you instinctively cover your face with your hands, but you can still feel his eyes on you, taking in every inch of your body.

“cute,” he murmurs. “you hiding from me now?”

your breath catches in your throat, but you peek through your fingers to see him smirking, looking like he’s in complete control. and maybe that’s what makes it less terrifying—he’s not rushing. he’s not judging. he’s just... there.

when his head dips between your thighs, you tense, unsure of what to expect. your heart races, and you let out a shaky breath as his mouth hovers over you, his warm breath ghosting over your already wet folds. then he licks, slow and slick, and you almost orgasm there, the warm tongue on your clit making your eyes slightly roll back.

“fuck,” you gasp, your hands clutching the sheets beside you, your face burning.

he pulls back slightly, lips glistening, his eyes locking with yours. “relax,” he says. “we’ve barely started.”

and then his tongue is back, sliding through every fold, licking with a patience that’s almost agonizing. he’s focused, making sure you feel everything—every lick, every brush of his lips, every soft kiss to your inner thigh between his slow, sensual movements.

your chest heaves as you try to process the sensations, but it’s overwhelming. this is what you’ve been missing out on all these years? the thought is almost laughable now, especially when he sucks on your clit, gently at first, then harder, leaving it swollen and pulsing.

“oh my god,” you cry out, the sound escaping you before you can stop it.

jeonghan grins against you, winking naughty, and as if to rub it in, he gives your clit a playful suck, sending you squealing. he looks up at you, still grinning. “you like that?”

you don’t even answer, can’t answer, because your brain is too fogged up. you can’t think, can barely breathe, and he hasn’t even started properly yet.

his hand travels down between your legs, and he presses a finger against your slick entrance, not pushing in just yet, just applying pressure, teasing. “have you ever had your little fingers here?” he asks curious.

your face burns at his words, but you nod “just one finger,” you admit, shy and sly, like a secret you’re embarrassed to reveal.

the way you say it—so sweet, so unsure—makes him throb inside his sweatpants. he exhales heavily, eyes darkening as he pushes his finger inside, just the tip at first, slowly. “just one, hmm?”

you bite your lip, nodding as he slides the rest of his finger in. the sensation is new, unfamiliar, but not uncomfortable, his finger is a bit longer than yours. he’s careful, attentive even, and that’s what makes you relax into the feeling.

“you’re so tight,” he mutters as he adds a second finger, stretching you out even more. you wince slightly at the stretch, but the way he curls his fingers inside you, scissoring them slowly, almost instantly makes the discomfort melt.

your hips buck instinctively as he works you open, his movements precise, his eyes fixed on you like he’s studying every reaction. “how’s that feel?”

“good,” you breathe, the word slipping out before you can stop it.

he chuckles softly, his free hand moving up to caress your thigh as his fingers pump in and out of you, his pace maddeningly slow. “you’re getting impatient, aren’t you?”

you whine in response, your voice shaky. “take your clothes off,” you mumble, your neediness evident in your tone.

jeonghan pauses, amusement flickering in his eyes. “hmm? what’s that?”

“take them off,” you repeat, a little more urgent this time, your voice coming out in a needy whine.

he grins, leaning over you, his face inches from yours. “patience, baby,” he says, his voice soft, but there’s a teasing edge to it. “you really wanna see me naked that bad?”

you nod, shameless now, your body craving the sight of him, the feeling of him against you. he’s been teasing you for too long, and it’s driving you insane.

“just wait a little longer,” he says, his tone mock-sulky, like he’s the one being deprived. but there’s a smile playing on his lips, and you can tell he’s enjoying this, the way you’re practically begging for him.

his fingers curl inside you again, hitting a spot that has you arching off the bed, a soft moan escaping your lips. “you’re so cute like this,” he mutters, pressing a kiss to your inner thigh as he works a third finger inside you, stretching you even more.

you whimper at the new stretch, your body trembling, but it’s the good kind of overwhelming now. the kind that has you clenching around him, needing more.

“jeonghan...” you whisper, your voice breathless, desperate.

he smirks, his thumb brushing over your clit as he scissoring his fingers inside you, spreading you open. “i love seeing you like this,” he murmurs. “all wet for me, begging like that.”

you don’t even care how wrecked you sound when you plead, “please, jeonghan. take them off.”

he laughs softly, shaking his head. “soon,” he says, his voice dripping with promise. “just let me enjoy this a little more.”

jeonghan keeps his fingers inside you, watching every twitch of your body as you clench around him, so tight he almost groans himself. you’re so close, it’s written all over your face, but you don’t even seem to notice it—lost somewhere, breathing heavily but not quite there yet. and he’s not about to let you drift off when you’re so close to cum.

“mm, baby,” he murmurs, his fingers moving just a little faster, curling them in that spot he’s already learned by heart. “you don’t even know, do you?”

you blink, dazed, barely processing his words, but then you feel his lips on your nipple—a soft peck at first, then a sharp bite that has you gasping, your hips jerking against his hand.

“there you are,” he smirks, teeth grazing over your sensitive skin as he feels you clench around his fingers again, tighter this time. “you were drifting away, but i need you right here with me. focus.”

your body reacts instantly, the tension building again, winding tighter and tighter until you can’t hold back anymore. his fingers pump in and out, wet and slick with your dampness, and the obscene sound of it fills the room as he brings you right to the edge.

“fuck, jeonghan—” your voice is shaky, barely holding it together as your hips start moving on their own, grinding down onto his hand. you’re not even sure when it happens, but suddenly, the tight coil inside you snaps, and you’re coming hard around his fingers, your body tensing, then releasing all at once.

“oh my god,” you cry out, your back arching off the bed as you orgasm, wet and messy. you’re so slick that his fingers slide easily in and out, coated in the creamy evidence of your cum. jeonghan’s eyes are glued to you, watching the way your body trembles, how soaked you are, and the satisfied smirk on his face says it all.

“so fucking wet,” he murmurs, almost like he’s talking to himself, fingers still buried deep inside you. he slows down his movements, letting you ride out the aftershocks of your orgasm, his thumb brushing lazily over your clit. “you didn’t even realize how close you were, huh?”

you shake your head, still trying to catch your breath, your mind foggy from the bliss.

he leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your thigh, his eyes flicking up to yours. “wanna see me take it all off now?” he teases, pulling his fingers out slowly, letting you feel every inch of them as they slip free. your breath hitches, still sensitive, but you nod eagerly, the post-orgasmic haze making you a little desperate.

“please,” you whisper, your voice a little hoarse, but the need is clear.

he grins, sitting up and tugging his shirt off halfway, but he pauses, eyes scanning the room. “wait a second,” he says, a bit too casual, as he starts searching around for something.

“what are you doing?” you ask, frustration creeping into your voice. he’s making you wait, again, and you’re about to protest when he holds up a condom, waving it in front of you with a satisfied smirk.

“can’t forget this,” he says, climbing back onto the bed.

you roll your eyes, still breathless, but your gaze drops to his chest as he slides the shirt the rest of the way off. his hand runs slowly down his chest, over his belly, and lower still to the waistband of his sweatpants.

“calm down,” he teases, his voice sweet, noticing the way your eyes are locked on his every move. “i’m not going anywhere.”

your breath hitches as he pulls his pants and boxers down, finally revealing himself to you. his cock is hard, flushed, and slick with precum, and you can’t stop yourself from staring.

“fuck, you’re pretty,” you mutter under your breath, barely aware you said it out loud until you see the way his lips curl into a grin.

“you’re the pretty one,” he counters, his voice soft as he strokes himself once, twice, before rolling the condom on. his eyes flick up to yours again, playful but with a hint of seriousness. “ready?”

you nod, your body buzzing as he lines himself up with your entrance. he slides the tip inside, and you both groan at the contact. it’s slow at first, his cock pushing into you inch by inch, and you can feel the stretch, how full he’s making you feel already.

but then, right when he’s halfway in, you gasp, “wait—stop.”

he freezes instantly, his eyes searching your face. “you okay?”

instead of answering, your hand slips between your bodies, wrapping around the base of his cock. the sudden contact makes him shudder, and he squeezes his eyes shut, groaning low in his throat. you give him a little shake, feeling the hardness of him pulsing in your hand, then slowly start guiding him deeper inside you.

you guide him in slowly, inch by inch, until your hand has nowhere else to go, and he's buried completely inside you, balls deep. you’re panting, your body adjusting to the size of him, and when you pout your lips for a kiss, jeonghan leans in without hesitation, pressing his lips to yours, swallowing the little scoff you let out between moans. the sensation of him stretching you so perfectly has your head spinning.

he pulls back slightly, eyes glued to yours as he starts moving, his hips rolling in slow thrusts. it’s a sharp sting at first, but nowhere near as painful as you expected, and the more he moves, the more that sting fades, replaced by a growing heat that makes your breath catch in your throat.

you don’t even notice the way your lips curl into the nastiest grin, like you finally got what you’ve been wanting, and you’re enjoying every second of it. jeonghan sees it though, sees the way your expression shifts from tentative to pure satisfaction, and it drives him fucking wild. his steady thrusts falter for a second, and he has to bite down on the inside of his cheek to keep himself in check.

“fuck,” he breathes, his voice shaky as he watches you. “you look like you’re having the time of your life right now.”

you moan in response, not even trying to hide it anymore. “i am.”

that’s all the encouragement he needs. his thrusts pick up, sharper now, deeper, and with each roll of his hips, his balls slap against your ass. the bed squeaks in time with his movements, but you barely notice, too caught up in the pleasure. your moans spill out freely, louder and more unrestrained, each one sending a jolt straight to his gut.

jeonghan’s losing it, the sight of you, the sound of you—it’s gonna replay in his mind for days, haunting him like a ghost, but right now, he’s not thinking about that. right now, all he can focus on is the way your body feels underneath him, how you seem to want this just as much as he does. his hips move faster, thrusts sharper and more purposeful, and fuck, you’re taking it all so well.

“god, you—” he groans, his voice strained. “you feel so fucking good. you don’t even know.”

his pace quickens, his hips rolling harder, and you gasp, your body arching up to meet him halfway. he’s hitting all the right spots now, and your moans turn into desperate little cries, your fingers gripping the sheets as you lose yourself in the feeling.

he notices how much you like it—how your body responds to every sharp thrust, how your moans get louder, and that nasty smile on your face only grows. it’s too much for him, but he tries to bury the overwhelming need down in his gut, focusing on fucking you just right.

but even then, he can’t help it—the more you react, the more he loses control, his hips working in sharper, stronger thrusts, the rhythm getting rougher as he chases that perfect high for both of you.

“you like that?” he asks, his voice rough, but the way your body clenches around him is answer enough.

he can’t help but smirk at your desperate little gasps. each thrust brings a little more pleasure, and your nails dig into his back, urging him on as you match his pace.

“more,” you whimper, the need spilling from your lips like a prayer. “please, jeonghan, don’t stop.”

he chuckles, making your heart race. “as if I could,” he replies, picking up the pace even more. you feel that familiar heat pooling deep inside you again.

he can’t help but lean down, pressing a kiss to your neck as he continues to rock into you, relishing in every little sound that escapes your mouth.

“that’s it,” he murmurs against your skin, his breath hot. “let me hear you.”

your moans grow louder, echoing off the walls as you feel the pressure building within you again. your body thrums with need as you claw at him, the sensation of him filling you completely making everything else fade away. you’re lost in him, in this moment, and nothing else matters.

“i’m so close,” you manage to gasp, your words barely coherent as your hips start moving on their own, desperate for that release.

jeonghan feels it, too—your body tightening around him, the way you’re pushing back against him, and it drives him crazy. he grips your hips tighter, controlling your movements, thrusting deeper, harder, pushing you right to the edge.

“cum pretty, cum f’me,” he urges sultry, and you can feel that heat building to a boiling point.

“jeonghan—” your voice breaks, and just like that, you’re falling, you’re gripping him tightly, your body spasming as you cum, crying out his name as everything blurs into a haze.

“that’s it, baby,” he groans, his own pleasure rising as he watches you unravel beneath him. “so fucking beautiful.”

the way your body squeezes him as you ride out your orgasm sends him over the edge, and he follows you, thrusting harder as he lets go, filling the condom as you both collapse.

you both lie there for a moment, breathless, the only sounds filling the room are your mingled breaths and the soft creaking of the bed. jeonghan brushes a strand of hair away from your face, a lazy grin spreading across his lips as he looks down at you.

“so, do I get to be the one who pops that cherry again sometime?”

“if you’re lucky,” you tease bakc, but deep down, you know you’re both hooked, and this was just the beginning.

jeonghan, who loves so deeply. his love isn’t loud, but if you look, you'll find in the littlest things — in every hug, every laugh, every comforting touch. you'll find that there's a quiet tenderness woven into each moment, just waiting to be seen. thank you for sharing your love with us.

WARNINGS: mdni, car sex, edging, dirty talk, voyeurism, vibrator panties, sensory play, cumming, oral (f), mean jeonghan

CONTENT: jeonghan x fem reader; ²¹⁾ “if you want to come, you’ll have to beg.”

he got you some new panties before dinner out. not just simple panties but vibration ones. he convices you sweetly to have them during the night, you just accepted that he would be a little mean to you, but you kinda like it....

the night goes smoothly, the two of you dining peaceful until the wine has more than half bottle empty. his hands are starting to get a little bit too needy under the table as he strokes your thighs "should we have some fun now?" he whispers to your ear before clicking the button on the remote under his pocket. you jump on your spot by the sudden vibration in between your legs, the chair making a loud sound as you look around too worried but people looked away quickly "gonna get us caught that easily, hm?"

he kept his fun, clicking it on and off whenever he felt like, your cunt clenching non stop, getting more sensitive each time he starts off again. he goes up in intensity this time, you swear under your breath, the knock on your stomach right there after all the edging, you feel like you're about to have it... then he stops again.

"fuuuck, jeonghan!" you say quietly but desesparate, your face getting hidden in both of your palms as your elbows rest on the table.

"don't cry, baby. they will think im hurting you" he shamelessly say, grinning to himself.

all the way home felt the same, you have no idea how you haven't cum yet, he's torturing you. the wetness making it uncomfortable under your dress, you've never been wetter, you truly feel like it's about to spill down your inner thighs and stain his car seat. "i can't take it anymore!" you beg, your breathing unsteady and your wrist clenching around the dress material.

"if you want to cum, you'll have to beg" he simply state as you cry out.

"i don't want to cum in those damn panties, i want you" you shoot back and the the vibrator comes on again. your hips start running on nothing, your head thrown back as you moan his name before he stops again "if you do it one more time, im cumming, stop, please" you say, the aurosal starting to drip down your legs.

"take the panties off" he demands as he starts to park the car in your garage. his words sound like heaven as you don't think twice in pulling them off. "to the back seat, right now"

he comes after you, laying you down the leather cushion. he pecks your lips, pulling your dress up, a devilish smirk on his face before he goes down. "shit, baby, you made such a mess" your cunt is truly pulsating and glistening so much.

he comes closer, blowing the air over your clit, your grip finding his hair immediately as you almost scream in overstimulation. "please, jeonghan, let me cum, pleaseee!" you beg.

"that's a good girl. that's what a wanna hear" he praises, kissing your inner thighs not getting to your pussy yet. you try to pull him by the hair, the motion making him grunt before finally licking a long stroke over your core. you moan pleasantly. jeonghan collects the wetness to your clit, drawing circles with his tongue.

"yeah... right there, just like this. dont stop, please, let me cum, please, i've been so good" you keep mumbling. the knot on your stomach right there. he sucks your spot for a long time and you're coming down, finally. your legs tremble, closing around his head as he moans around your cunt. your moans of thank you s' feeling the hot air of the car and the blurry windows.

till we get there

pairing: idol!yoon jeonghan x non idol!afab!reader

synopsis: dating someone who always leaves isn't easy and you know that. but jeonghan had always made you feel it would all be alright.

w.c: 3.7k

tags: idol!au, established relationship, sharing a bed, long distance things, fluff, slight hurt to comfort (lmk if i missed anything!)

warnings: npr, profanity, brief description of a panic attack, has talks of marriage and kids, uh his enlistment (please take note that im approaching this as the normal enlistment as it is not confirmed by the company at the moment about which specific branch he's in. also please give way to inaccuracies as i am not also well versed of the exact steps of enlistments)

a/n: i've been so emo for jeonghan and ik you are too. idk he's just so comforting. i feel he's been successful with his desire of being an idol people can feel close to. i expected the enlistment and i do see it as a responsibility he has a citizen but i think it is alright to also miss him even if time will pass by fast! the first one is always the hardest kghjkfd.

i also wrote this with @welcometomyoasis and @svtiddiess in mind. a gift to my jeonghan girlies who are in need of some fluff. I hope you like this <3

masterlist

No Age Indicator/Minors/Blank blogs/Serial Likers will be blocked!

You knew what you were getting into when you started dating Jeonghan, it means you’d have to date his idol career too. It was not something you’d have on your strict checklist of traits in your dream man but loving Jeonghan was just so…easy. 

He’s gentle, kind, thoughtful, hardworking, and anytime you’re with him, it’s never anything you’d expect. Sometimes you’re welcomed by the comforting lull of his presence but sometimes, he keeps you on your toes with his little pranks and gestures. 

Loving him just came naturally that you couldn’t even count the cost of his career as something that would make you hesitate a little.

And he’d been so kind to you with it as well, making sure you understood that being with him meant late night dates, less public outings, masks, not being home most days, not being able to frequently meet each other’s families, and schedules that would have to take priority over your pre-planned ones. He wouldn’t be physically present for most of your milestones and sadly, even on days you need him most. 

Jeonghan recognizes it won’t be a normal relationship nor an easy one. He knows that these are all valid grounds to not pursue the relationship at all, but you were so adamant and sure—you love him and he loves you, that’s what you need for now.

It had not been easy, some days and seasons testing limits you didn’t know were there but Jeonghan made it work. He knew you’d be suffering the harsher end of it all (which you argued that he took the brunt of it), so he always makes sure in his own little ways that he wants you in his life. That’s enough for you to keep on, even if he can be a little shit, calling you the names of the seven dwarves in rotation.

“Are you sure you don’t want to just hang out at home? It’s pretty late,” you ask for the third time that night, cautiously glancing around for anyone who might recognize your boyfriend. It would be difficult to, given the time of the night and how he made sure you both wore masks, beanies, and clothes that he wouldn’t wear a second time in public as Seventeen’s Jeonghan.

“I’m sure, Sleepy,” he tells you, patting the picnic mat he rented from earlier, “Besides, we never get to go out often.”

He nods over to his side, coaxing you into sitting with him so you could bask in the sleepy sounds of the city and watch its glow and shimmer along the Han River. Your eyes soften at the sight of him, all bundled up in a thick jacket, mask, glasses and a worn beanie. “I know, but…you just came from practice, you and the boys are tired–”

“-and Wonwoo and Jihoon still hit the gym after while Hoshi went biking.”

He pointedly looked between you and his open arm and you gave in with a quiet sigh. Settling beside him with a grunt, you shuffle into the space he opens for you, tucking you close to himself. 

Jeonghan, compared to the rest of his members, always seemed the most delicate. Yet here, you always feel safe when held in his embrace; whatever prior understanding you had of strength and safety equaled big and intimidating had been cast away in favor of soft touches, sound judgment, quick discernment, and the doting nature of your lover.

The night is tranquill like this, it feels like it's just made for you. Where the world is slower, with the passersby oblivious to his status, leaving you in your own little pocket of peace. You close your eyes and let your soul rest.

“Thank you, Hannie,” you whisper, nuzzling closer into the cold fabric of his jacket. Humming softly, he squeezes your arm and rests his cheek on your head. 

“No need to thank me. I love being with you.”

Whenever Jeonghan leaves for an overseas tour, he always spends the night at yours. It’s rarely anything extravagant, you want him to feel rested and relaxed before the rigorous schedules that follow. He’s always bone tired when he arrives but he greets you softly, sleepily, pulling you into a slow kiss. And while you insist that he hurries to bed, he takes his time and tells you there’s no rush when there’s forever with you.

It makes you blush, sputter and hit his arm because no one’s got forever in them.

But he smiles and tilts your chin, gazing at you so tenderly you think you could cry at the sincerity in them. 

“But there is, Grumpy.”

You don’t argue, but you do bury your face into his neck, skin burning with fondness that bursts from within. 

The night is a quiet affair, Jeonghan gets into your hot shower while you heat up dinner from hours before. He’ll rummage through the drawer reserved for him and get dressed before he goes through your skincare. His skincare line put yours to shame, so he purchased two of each product for you to use; ignoring the fact that your stack of boxes and bags from his ambassador brands are steadily growing in the corner. 

By the time he’s done, you’re both sitting at the coffee table, not the dining table. You feel closer this way, cross legged and snug against each other while you eat. He’ll ask you about your day and sometimes, you hesitate because what’s your life like compared to his? You don’t say it out loud of course, but Jeonghan’s observant and it makes him frown. He chides you with a drawn out ‘Eeeyy!’ and a pinch to your cheek. 

Jeonghan tells you he works the same as you do, it’s not the same but at the end of the day it's still work. He wants to be a part of your life, so whenever you settle with, “Today has been good.” He would follow it up with questions that show you he pays attention to every little thing you’ve mentioned. Did Mr. Lee admit to hogging all the sugar sticks by the coffee machine?  What was going on between your two co-workers and that one guy from HR? Did the stray cat by your building have her litter? Are you thinking of taking one home? 

That usually gets you going, talking to him about everything and anything. He listens to you and you pretend not to notice the tilt of his head or the way his gentle gaze drifts between your eyes and lips. He’d comment once in a while, laugh at your silly side notes, and gasp at the juiciest details of your office gossip.

Jeonghan makes you feel special this way. He makes you feel heard and seen. 

By the time you’re both finished catching up, he’ll only have four hours left before he has to leave. This always makes you feel guilty but your boyfriend doesn’t mind. As much as he’s easily tuckered out, time passing does not seem like a concern to him at all when it comes to you. But you know he’ll be drowsy and he’ll get sick at this rate so it's always up to you to be wary of the time. 

You leave the dishes on the sink for tomorrow and tug him into bed with you. Setting an alarm on his phone, he shimmies under the covers to pull you against him. You smile against his collarbone, giddy at the fact that he smells like you. It tells you that he’s yours, and even if you’d had all those other nights before where you’re tangled in each other’s embrace. It is a strange thought. You told him once that you’re only borrowing him from the world and it’s on quiet nights like these that you’re reminded he is yours. 

However, Jeonghan likes to remind you of that too as he dips his head to press his lips against your forehead.

He would apologize for leaving you again, but before he can get a word out, you’ll playfully tug his hair to silence him till he gives in with a deep chuckle. 

His hair tickles your temples and sometimes, it gets too hot but you don’t let go. You’re content wrapped around him like this, arm thrown around his waist, legs intertwined, and head tucked against his shoulder. 

There’s no long winded goodbye or whispers of reassurance. You’re long past that because you’re sure.

Jeonghan always comes home and he always comes home to you.

Come morning, he’s gone with a ghost of his lips against yours and his pet rock, Doljjong sitting on your bedside by your phone, dutifully watching over you.

“I leave you alone a lot, don’t I? I’m sorry…one day, it won't have to be like this.”

“Doljjongie, watch over her for me, okay?”

You know it's stupid and you know you shouldn’t. Jeonghan has a concert tonight, you can wait for three days before he’s home and tell him about the horrible day you had.

But you’re dry heaving, crying, and shaking and you just want to hear his voice. You want to blame the tears that blur your vision and trembling fingers for pressing call on your lover’s contact.

It goes through unanswered and you don’t call him again.

After all, he must be getting his makeup done and outfit ready by now. You force yourself to calm down, to just shrug it off because you’ve dealt with shit nastier than just a bad day. What frustrates you is that you cannot pinpoint just why you’re affected this badly and that in turn makes you cry more.

Jeonghan’s texts come in after fifteen minutes. And you’re shaking fingers can’t seem to type out a decent reply.

evil queen: hey, dopey, what’s up?

evil queen:  sorry i can’t pick up your call rn. we’re about to go in ten minutes.

evil queen: i sent soobinie a message. i hope everything is ok..you never call at a time like this. 

evil queen: soobin says she’ll come over soon. i love you always. i’ll call you back when were done.

That makes you feel immensely guilty and shy that he has to send his sister to check on you when it shouldn’t warrant that big of an effort on both their parts.

“Hey, don’t say that,” Soobin tells you later, brushing your hair away from your face before pushing a box of take out towards you, “He would be very upset to hear that. And I think he’ll agree with me when I say that if it makes you upset, it matters.”

“But you came all the way here just cause-”

“You had a panic attack,” she murmurs, rubbing your shoulder, “And  I don’t mind coming over. You don’t even have to go through my brother to have me.”

That in turn makes you cry all the more because you just know why your boyfriend is such a nurturing man, his family speaks volumes of their values.

By the time, your boyfriend’s sister is sure you’ll be okay, you’re curled up in bed, significantly better but just hollow. You’re mostly doom scrolling through cat videos and fancams of the members from the concert hours ago. At this point, it's just to ease your mind into a better mood when Jeonghan finally calls you.

You’re surprised with your own swollen eyes and blotchy cheeks when you mindlessly accept the video call. Jeonghan’s fresh out of his concert attire, dressed in the clothes he wore in his selfie earlier today, and it looked like he just entered his designated room with Seokmin. 

Just before you could ask about it, he immediately cuts you off.

“I kicked him out, don’t worry.”

“But-”

“He’s rooming with Mingyu.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean for him to-”

“I told him I wouldn’t go easy on him on the next Insomnia.”

You pause, unable to bring yourself to protest so you respond with a slow nod. Your boyfriend gently smiles, propping his phone somewhere so he could properly pay attention to you.

“Don’t you want to go and shower first?” you ask, a little miffed with how raspy your voice sounds. He shakes his head, eyes boring into your own through the screen.You know he’s tired, he’s always the first to try to leave the stage but he’s alert, watching every miniscule movement you make.

“Soobin told me a little bit of what happened.”

You nod, thanking him for sending her over even if she didn’t have to. Your boyfriend clicks his tongue in protest and you realize that you’d do the same for him too had the roles reversed. 

“Wanna tell me about it?”

His voice is kind, laced with concern and caution as he waits. You appreciate that he always asks, that he never prods when you’re vulnerable. He knows when to be playful and he knows when you need him. But your exhaustion and the late hour of the night weighs your words down that you’re simply not willing to revisit the moment again. 

Shaking your head, you know it won’t help him but you know you have to be honest as well.

Jeonghan is excellent with schooling the emotions on his face, it's one of his most useful skills in the industry. Yet you can see how his face falls when the words leave your mouth. He’s helpless and sad he can’t make your burden easier with a word of advice. His lips purse and he nods, showing you he understands and reassures you in that one gesture that it's okay.

That’s another thing you love about your boyfriend. He has a way of making you feel like it will all be okay. He doesn’t have to hype you up, distract you with a temporary fix of happiness to feel better. Instead, he stands with surety that all will be alright in time and so will you. It's a wonderful hope to have and even more so knowing Jeonghan will be right there with you.

 He knows you’ll hate the silence, and that you can’t stew in your thoughts alone–at least not until he’s around. So he starts speaking in that soft tone of his, “I thought of something today…”

You hum, showing him you’re listening.

“You know how we are often called by the carats as the Iron Deficiency Unit? It was particularly bad today. I felt the ache in my muscles, and my knees feel like they’re about to give out if I do another round of Aju Nice,” he trails off with a chuckle to which you feel your lips quirk, imagining exactly what that would look like. You wait for him to continue, but you see him bite his lips and waver. His sleepy eyes  are hyper focused on his fingers fiddling with the edge of the table and you know that if he had been in a cooler lighting, his cheeks would be dusted pink. Curiosity rises within you but you know better than to prompt your boyfriend into speaking when he is still thinking.

“It made me think. Ah, I’m nearing thirty and my body feels like it’s a sixty year old’s,” he sighs with a sheepish smile and you want to scold him and remind him he’s just tired, that he shouldn’t be too harsh on his own body. But he pauses again, formulating his next words.

“I still want to be strong enough for us, you know. I want to lift you up when we’re married like they do in the movies. I want to carry boxes of our things into our new home. I want to be able to lift things for you. I want to travel places with you and go on those outdoor adventures with you. And when we do have a family, I want to be able to hold them, run with them, and play their favorite sports with them. I want to do all those while I’m still strong enough.”

Your breath catches in your throat at his reflection, and with each word spills from his lips, there’s a small smile that stretches across his face. He was precious like this, caught up in his own little world with you in it. 

You’ve talked about marriage and family before, already at a point where you’re both sure and serious that it’s what you want. Still, when he talks about it this way, all blissful and giddy, like they weren’t mere goals but a precious dream for the both you—it makes you want to cry for an entirely different reason.

“Hang in there for me too, okay? Until we get there.”

Tears blur your vision but you nod vigorously. You both knew that sadness has to pass in its own time, but somehow his words bring a ray of light in the shrouded corner you’ve found yourself backed into. Jeonghan smiles at you gently, and you can see the pain in his eyes of not being able to wipe your tears for you. 

Still, you both knew what you were getting into with a relationship like this.

He carries on, rambling quietly about his day, humming once in a while as he potters about his hotel room and you drift to sleep.

“Good night, sleepy.”

Jeonghan always comes back. It's not anything you’ve ever worried about after the first six months you’ve dated him. You know he wouldn’t leave when given the choice. That’s why you always try to be strong for him, to be calm when he leaves so he knows you will be okay, and that you will be waiting.

“Did you pack thick socks?” you check as you watch him fit his neatly folded shirts into his duffle.

“Yes, doc.”

Jeonghan always comes back.

“How about your toiletries?”

“They provide them at the training institution.”

You hum, avoiding his gaze and focusing on the task at hand which was to help him pack. Your fingers deftly fold through the last of his clothes,and try not to show him how much harder this absence of his will be. 

It will be different from when he goes on tours, he can still call you when the time allows, he’s surrounded by loving staff and members, and you can see what he’s busy with through fancams and magazines. 

Not when he’s enlisting though. There are limitations you are well aware of, and you know it won’t be forever but it's still new to you.

You’ve successfully kept your emotions in check when you watched his father and Seungcheol cut his hair two days ago. You even managed to lightheartedly tease him about it. He clasped the loose strands between his fingers and asked if you wanted to make a doll with it in return.

Jeonghan always comes back.

He zips up his duffle, giving it a pat and you’re standing up to grab his uniform to change into. Until you remember you’ve already laid it out for him on his bed. So you turn on your heels to grab his important documents from his desk. But you already had tucked it into his bag. 

Jeonghan always comes back.

You begin tidying up the corners of his room that will be left untouched for the first two months of his training. Stacking up loose papers, fumbling with the loose wires of his chargers, and righting the furniture. Jeonghan watches you with a ghost of an amused smile at your fool’s errand until he softly calls your name.

And that was literally all it took for you to forfeit your fumbling of his drawers before you whip around and all but launch yourself into his arms. 

You will not cry. You aren’t going to make this harder than it needs to be.

So you burrow into his chest, taking in his scent and warmth that will be absent from you for longer periods of time.  You stay there, holding your breath and holding on to what you can have of him at this moment because you’re not sure when the next time will be. Jeonghan lets you, rocking your body from side to side. He tucks you deeper in his chest, like you could burrow yourself in there, make home in his heart and stay there forever. The fabric of his shirt is soft on your cheek, and you feel his heartbeat steadily thrumming against your ear. His hand comes up to cradle the back of your head and says your name again. Your name, not some silly variation he’s thought of at the moment but your name.

“I’m going to say sorry even if you told me not to because you can’t pull my hair anymore,” he chuckles before he’s cut off with a whine at the sharp pinch you deliver to his side. 

“Don’t,” you warn shakily.

He shakes his head, cupping your cheeks in his hands, “But I will. I need to say it. I want to apologize for always making you wait for me.”

“But you don’t have to,” you protest stubbornly, “I knew what I was getting myself into. Besides, idol or not, you’re going to have to go through this anyway.”

Jeonghan smiles at you forlornly, and you’re not used to seeing his face so openly exposed like this without his bangs framing his face or tickling your forehead. Your hand reaches up to rest on the nape of his neck as you pull him into a kiss. It's a soft one, light enough for you to whisper against him, “I will always wait for you as long as you come back to me.”

He sighs against you, tenderly rubbing your cheek, “I will always come back home.”

Your eyes soften at the word, nodding before you pull him back into another kiss. His lips gently meld against your own and you sigh when his tongue brushes your lips and you open for him. He takes his time, a hand on your waist, palm cradling your jaw as he leans in to taste you. 

He pulls away, just barely to rest his forehead against yours.

“Thank you for always waiting for me.”

You smile up at him tenderly, “Till we get there?”

He grins, pecking your lips once more, “Till we get there.”

And Jeonghan’s glad he called you just before you had reached the last drawer of his desk. 

Or else you’d see the velvet box that's tucked away for two weeks, patiently waiting for the right time that will soon get there.

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