i-want-men-i-cant-have - 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆝⋆.˚ 𓇼
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆝⋆.˚ 𓇼

stalking the hello kitty cafe || 18 || writing is not what my cutie mark is telling me || requests open

40 posts

Will You Do More Slasher Yandere? I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!! I Wanna See Us Graduated With A House, Wedding,

Will you do more slasher yandere? I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!! I wanna see us graduated with a house, wedding, and 7 kids. I wanna be his lil stepford wifey!!!!!!!!!! 🙈🤰👩‍🍼👶😭

🤰-anon i was so confused for a second before i reread the fic. i was staring at my screen for a solid second questioning my life. i was like, “7 kids… tf?”

Will You Do More Slasher Yandere? I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!! I Wanna See Us Graduated With A House, Wedding,
Will You Do More Slasher Yandere? I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!! I Wanna See Us Graduated With A House, Wedding,
Will You Do More Slasher Yandere? I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!! I Wanna See Us Graduated With A House, Wedding,
Will You Do More Slasher Yandere? I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!! I Wanna See Us Graduated With A House, Wedding,

[part.1]

yan!slasher who makes feels so young around you. he can still remember your wedding just a few years ago.

yan!slasher who will always love your oldest the most, having luckily caused the shotgun wedding. oh, he'll never forget that fear in your eyes, tears threatening to spill, proclaiming you were still a virgin. it was honestly because your period was late, and it was a joke to check.

yan!slasher who felt some remorse. he promised to wait until you were married, and he thought he had the patience- just when you look like that, was it honestly his fault? he's been waiting since high school just for this very moment. you can't exactly blame him when those hormones he's been trying to keep down just come to bite him later on.

yan!slasher who decides you both and your 7 little dwarfs should move to a gated community in the midwest, each house bearing shutters on windows and white picket fences. grass that could rival the country club a few blocks away, and those beautiful flowers you loved so much so he loved them so much.

yan!slasher who was honestly being generous. i mean, the perfect town and house for the perfect nuclear family, who wouldn't want that? sure a woman like you should never be confined to a kitchen, for crying out loud you have a degree, but think about your 7 children. they needed a mother in their life. their father is a hard worker after all he can pay the bills so the children can have a mother.

yan!slasher who worried about your loneliness. you did need some friends from moving into such a beautiful community. why not invite some women over? he made sure to buy only the best house available just for your family to be the envy of the town. the wives immediately wanting to have tea once your husband and perfect children were gone.

yan!slasher who, of course, caught wind of mrs. rothschild. how could she say such horrible things? ‘her lawn needed some mowing, and did you see her shoes? ugh, I saw that wear and tear from a mile away. she’s such a- excuse my language, whore. she just married him for his money.’ who did she think she was? she was just an unfertilized old hag wishing to relive her youth! she was jealous of you and your perfect family!

yan!slasher who almost jumps on her the moment those words spill from her sagging red-painted lips. he continued driving the golf cart on the green, trying to contain himself, the past he desperately was trying not to relapse into. but at the same time, did her family even need her? he’s heard the rumors from the drunk colleagues after work in the bar, how she practically was pouncing on her children when they came home with an a- or anything below. the complete opposite of what a woman should be! she’s the complete opposite of you!

yan!slasher who came to the conclusion mrs. rothschild's family could live without her. a pathetic old woman desperately trying to relive her youth by hating on those with lives oh so much better than hers. yes, she could die; it would be for the greater good. but at the same time, he couldn't fall into his old ways. his family needed him- you needed him. he was the sole provider for your little children, and to think like tha- ‘to think that man even has a wife like her. such a pathetic man.’

yan!slasher who is grateful he kept up with working out. beneath that knitted sweater, white button-down, and expensive pants, it was plainly obvious. of course, he made sure you would remember that whenever all the kids were asleep. you did say you wanted to try for another after all.

yan!slasher who decided that the only way to get rid of mrs. rothschild was to tell you to invite her for tea one-on-one. poisoning that vegan tea she liked oh so much and some sleeping drugs in yours. you and the children wouldn't need to know this side of him, grabbing her hair through that kentucky derby hat, ripping the expensive fabric, and gripping to her hair with his strong fingers, still rough and padded from his days in high school up until now, switching to golfing with his work buddies.

yan!slasher who left a note telling you he was going to work early from some colleagues slacking off, and mrs. rothschild left when you fell asleep. that was all a cover-up for him to leave town for a day or two. he just needed to find that deserted fishing lake his college told him about. that sewage spilling would cover up her pathetic, rotting body in no time. now you could live your happy little stepford wife life with no trouble!

yan!slasher who started slipping up more and more. sure, he wouldn't have wanted this at the beginning. this was a new place, a new year. but it was all for you! why shouldn’t he protect his wife and children? he’s already the sole provider, after all.

yan!slasher who makes sure to dispose of tell the housing committee that anyone who even looked at you the wrong way mailbox was approximately two inches farther than the housing code in section 2-a of the appropriate home guide they would give you on the first day of moving in.

yan!slasher who makes sure you don't know what happened to that woman who said such horrible atrocities about you. some such as your couch wasn’t complimenting the cheese platter you had served last week! so horrible and rude of her! how low do these people get? now, do you know her truly body and soul like him? well, no- you didn't. why should you stay up to date or even notice those beneath you and your wonderful perfect magazine family?

yan!slasher who was surprised when you did ask if she was alright but made sure you don't worry your little head off, darling wife. she was cheating on her husband with the couples' therapist anyway.

yan!slasher who noticed that man who looked at your photo in his wallet a split second longer than he should. he was slacking off at his job! fine reasons for someone to be fired as soon as snatches that position he’s been working oh so hard for! aren't you just so happy for him? don't think you should reward him? have the kids go to their friends' house for a night and let him finally spend some alone time with you, the creaking of the bed frame hitting the wall the whole night, heartbeats intertwining into one?

yan!slasher who was grateful he had chosen such a safe town to live. a gated community was supposed to protect the outside not the inside after all. no one would suspect the nice and peaceful town would be harboring a murderer.

yan!slasher who wondered what the townspeople were thinking. he almost felt giddy at it. but he can't be distracted when his main priority is and always be you.

yan!slasher who is overjoyed when the town decides to host a party to try and brighten everyone's mood. this would be another perfect opportunity to show the community how perfect his pretty little wife is! yes, he wanted to look good, only for you. you were the only one he saw, why should he care about the others? you were the main attraction. he would make sure people would know that.

yan!slasher who let you put some makeup onto him to try and spruce him up a bit. who cares if it wasn’t masculine? he would be hotter than any other man there anyway. besides, he was the only one that had a wife that loved him! how pathetic was it to hate those who have more than you?

yan!slasher who ignores the looks women give him. envy. yearning. desire. if one woman even touched him or, god forbid, a man talk to you, he would just have to rip that cute little esophagus right out of their throat in front of everyone!

yan!slasher who, of course, doesn't. why would he ever subject your eyes to even the thought of blood? but he does cling to you the whole night. you want to talk to some of the wives? oh, no, i don’t think that would be for the best. after all, your husband is right here. he’s been so busy with work, why would you ever want to leave your devoured spouse to spend time with friends?

yan!slasher who, once he hears the rumors going around that he, him, your wonderful loving husband was the one killing people, was over this little town.

yan!slasher who makes sure you didn't try any of the punch or alcohol they were serving. 

yan!slasher who makes sure that you both leave early.

yan!slasher who makes sure to tell the kids to pack up.

yan!slasher who makes sure that he already had everything you needed to leave.

yan!slasher who makes sure to grab a photobook of your family and get everyone in the car. 

yan!slasher who makes sure you don’t check the news on that small town you lived in.

“leaving? no, baby. just take a nap and when you wake up you’ll have a whole new life. i’ll protect you.”

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More Posts from I-want-men-i-cant-have

Bro…the Rothbart request…🙃

If you want to write something really cursed…you should do a yandere parasite from the anime/manga, Parasyte. Imagine gettin fucked by Migi…👁️🫦👁️. Not bad considerin all the shapes he can turn into…🙈

P.s. Ya need to watch more Barbie, babe! Even a more cursed man part of the Barbieverse is, Fungus Maximus. He’s from the Barbie Fairytopia Trilogy…and he’s somethin…A absolute simp for Laverna. Imagine fuckin that too💅🏻 Maybe he was a subconscious start to my mild ugly bastard kink…

So like do them both if you dare? You wanted cursed…here’s your cursed meal. Eat up 😉

okay, if migi was down for it, i'd be too. for research, of course 🤗, as if i would ever want to do that. psh- no, never…

i need to watch all the barbie movies one day. but fungus maximus- i had a crush on george washington growing up, so you can't get any worse than that. 

ALSO, LAVERNA?! i bet a million dollars i would accidentally chop off my right leg looking at her and not even notice. i’d tattoo her face on the remaining leg. 

one day i'm definitely writing this. i’ll keep it in a folder and pray no one ever opens it.

join the ugly bastard cult. we need new members.

if i become one of the most cursed authors on this site one day, i'm down.

Brothe Rothbart Request

theres two episodes of bucchigiri rn

theres one fanfic of bucchigiri rn

theres at least twelve characters in bucchigiri rn

the math isn’t mathing.

at this point i’ll write my own fics

Theres Two Episodes Of Bucchigiri Rn

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Saw your adorable Barbie background for your blog, and I had to share some cursed brain rot I had related to Barbie!

Rothbart from Barbie: Swan Lake, is a legitimate good father. Sure he had his moment where he left Odile as a pig, but the fact that he was about to try and end Odette and Daniel, but came to Odile when he heard her scream when she was being sprayed by skunks is still such a win for him!

So since your requests are open…yan hcs for Rothbart? When he younger of course…cause I was always so bummed his wife was never in the picture. I know this is so cursed…

Saw Your Adorable Barbie Background For Your Blog, And I Had To Share Some Cursed Brain Rot I Had Related

i’ve actually never watched barbie swan lake so i made the stupid decision of skipping to the parts the bird man was in. idk why i did that. i was so confused. bro really saw barbie in a forest, arched his back, threw some magical beam at her through a ring, turned her into a swan, didn't elaborate and flew away.

we're not going to talk about how i thought his daughter was his wife at first. i was about to come for you if you were simping over a married man in low qual 00s barbie 😭 him as a human in that ball scene tho- i listen to whatever doja says

anyway, here it is. love anything cursed i eat it up.

✮ft: yan!rothbart / yan!prince

Saw Your Adorable Barbie Background For Your Blog, And I Had To Share Some Cursed Brain Rot I Had Related

yan!prince rothbart who almost immediately took a dislike to you, his personal maid, personal servant, his own little retainer, and any other words that can fit that category. he hated the way you looked at him, so naive, as if you truly believed that he could rule over this forest, as if you truly believed he would be picked over his cousin. it was truly pathetic.

yan!prince rothbart who would study day in and out until the sun rose and fell into those trees, all the while you were there for every minute of it. need a new book or for you to return one that’s all the way in the back of the library just so your annoying presence is gone? of course, you’ll do it! it’s what the future king wants, isn't it?

yan!prince rothbart who hears the kitchen staff talking rather rudely about him after you take too long to fetch him some bread to eat. they weren't wrong speaking about how he just wants to rule the forest, but they would do the same. he wanted to wait until it died down until you finally spoke up to cut them off.

“prince rothbart isn't anything like that! he’s kind and studies more than any of you would! he would be a better ruler than any of you!”

yan!prince rothbart who maybe slowly starts to relish in your presence. you were one of, if not the first, to be on his side and want him to become king. after everything he’s put you through, you still want him as king. it was so dimwitted and simple. you were so dimwitted and simple. then why did you always make him seem so much lighter?

yan!prince rothbart who is still agitated how you followed him around like a lost duck everywhere he went. how you didn't understand anything about the land or policies, laws, politics, but it almost became therapeutic to him; his own little escape.

yan!prince rothbart who found himself slipping from his studies to escape with you. running away to the forest for a small picnic by the river, your laugh so elegant as animals would run to you and away from you. your teasing words as he pretended not to care if a hedgehog almost chopped off his finger echoed in his ears like a symphony.

yan!prince rothbart who wanted to spend more and more time with you. that is your job, after all. you should be more than willing to devote more time to him, whether it be sneaking off to help him find some berries or leaves or just a way to escape classes or studies.

yan!prince rothbart who decides that he should give something back to you after all these years of being by his side. specially brewed tea mixed with the finest wild honey and a scrumptious grayanotoxin. you would never need to be knowledgeable about the mad honey disease, as the common people called it. you’re just sick is all! the doctors can check, even if they find nothing.

yan!prince rothbart who has moved some of his studies to your cramped room. you don't want him in here? you don't want him to catch your little fever? he should be studying? oh, but he is studying. you're just here to keep him in high spirits! after all, it is so funny when you ask him what something means. just how could you not know what hunting laws indicate as a servant?

yandere!prince rothbart who is always the only one to serve you your favorite honey tea. it’s just so yummy, making you feel better! it’s not as if he’s the one holding you hostage in this bed with it! no, never!

yan!prince rothbart who once he is of age finally hears of who will be king or queen, finally snapping at you. everything imaginable is thrown at your cowering body. a teacup holding scalding tea goes first, shattering behind you, tea imprinting on the wall as a loud crash is heard.

“this is all your fault! if i had studied more and not spent so much time with you! you pathetic dumb little pauper! i should be king!”

yan!prince rothbart who hurried over to your twin-size bed, sitting down next to you, dipping the bed, cradling your weak frame in his arms. Whispers of sweet nothings resonated in your ear as he stroked your arm up and down. You’re always there; why should he not repay you by ruling over him? If you want to or not, of course, isn't up to you. If it ever was, it would never even be a question but a fact; that answer being no.

“my dear [y/n], this land no longer needs us. for now, be with me. stay by my side until i- no, we shall rule this forest.”

Saw Your Adorable Barbie Background For Your Blog, And I Had To Share Some Cursed Brain Rot I Had Related
Saw Your Adorable Barbie Background For Your Blog, And I Had To Share Some Cursed Brain Rot I Had Related

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𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝓲𝐬𝐭.

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˚⋆𓇼˚ 𝐲𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 ⁺。°

Yan!Slasher headcanons

Yan!Slasher headcanons pt.2 

Yan!Buc-ee's worker headcanons

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˚⋆𓇼˚ 𝐭𝐨𝐤𝐲𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 ⁺。°

Kisaki dating you just to be closer to Hina

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˚⋆𓇼˚ 𝐱𝐨, 𝐤𝓲𝐭𝐭𝐲 ⁺。°

Min Ho [request 1]

Min Ho [request 2]

The Summer I Turned Pretty [request 3]

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𝓜𝓪𝓲𝓷 𝓜𝓮𝓷𝓾

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i'm not dead. i'm surviving until i watch the live-action universal monster high movie and mamma mia 3

i'm going to focus more on writing now that it's summer. plus, i'm updating the blog because, in my opinion, it's ugly, so there's a lot more to come ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚


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