Our Society Has This Idea That If A Woman Has Sex With Someone, She Loses Her Self-respect.

Our society has this idea that if a woman has sex with someone, she loses her self-respect.

Why is "get fucked" a word for bad things happening to you, or losing something important, or being in a shitty situation, and "fuck you" used as a way to express aggression?

Why are promiscuous women called whores but promiscuous men just being average men?

Having a high sex drive as a woman and wanting to talk about it leads people to flag me as whorish, morally bad, poor, or "rough around the edges", like I'm someone who does drugs and gets bad grades and has no self-respect. Barely even a person. Don't they understand the beauty with which sexual desire colors the world? Don't they know the excitement it gives me, the joy, and the human connection?

I want sex to be natural, positive, and part of life. To be discussed like anything else. Enough of the taboo. And enough of the stigma. It unfairly impacts women.

Sex is seen as a source of pride for men and a source of dishonor for women. That's why I like being able to discuss it in male terms: I jerk off, I got lucky last night, I wanna fuck him, I have blue balls, I wanna get laid, etc.. Words men always use to express their lust, make it obvious that sex is something they're proud of and looking forward to. But I'm just a weak, pathetic whore who's gonna drop out of school because I'm being taken advantage of by boys.

No I'm not. I'm a good student. I have a well-connected social circle of platonic friends. I take care of myself, eat right, sleep at night, and go to the gym. I do my laundry every week. I have hobbies, like playing the guitar. When I have sex, it is because I choose to, because I enjoy it, and because my lover and I have mutual respect for one another and ourselves.

Shaming women for catering to the "male gaze" is a form of conservative slut-shaming masquerading as feminism.

There's a trend I've seen of people looking at female characters in media who look sexually attractive and saying that the creators of this media are bad or the enemies of feminists because they created something to "cater to the male gaze."

For example, video games with female characters who have big boobs are criticized for "sexualizing women" for the sake of male consumers.

I've also seen a post which made a comparison between the old and new Harley Quinn, claiming that the one who had "choppy and fun" bangs rather than "seductively framing her face" was much better because it showed female rather than male gaze.

The issue with these criticisms is that well-meaning feminists start to generalize them to real women. We tell women not to look seductive or sexually attractive because those traits cater to men. We feel pity for them for having become victims to men's lust.

Do you see why this is bad? If you look closely enough at these claims about the male gaze, you see that modern feminist language is being used to repeat the same conservative slut-shaming bullshit our society should have overcome by now.

How different are these claims, really, from the teacher at my high school who followed her presentation about the dress code by saying that girls who have been victims of sexual harassment have invited it upon themselves with the way that they were dressed?

Some things that are bad:

Telling women how they can and can't dress

Saying that if men are attracted to a woman, she is not safe or not respectable

Telling women to dress modestly

Shaming women for wanting to be attractive to men

To be clear, the opposite is true too. It's bad to force women into sex of course, or to make them wear something "attractive" that they aren't comfortable with. But telling women that they are "catering to the male gaze" if they want to look attractive disempowers women by taking away our choice to be sexually liberated, choose how we dress, or look attractive for our own sakes.

In addition, when feminists consider the male gaze their enemy, they also start to consider women who dress attractively or are purposely seductive or engage in sexual acts as their enemies. We end up with women yelling at women, enforcing the patriarchy on ourselves. It's fucked up, and we can do better.

Masturbated so hard today that my ears were ringing? Didn't even cum though but like damn wtf

Gotta be honest, I'm pretty pleased with myself.

sex object? i would never object to sex

Women have the right to love having sex.

Women have the right to never want to have sex.

Women have the right to choose how much sex we want to have, and with whom.

Women can experience attraction.

Women can enjoy sexual pleasure.

Women can prefer never to think about sex.

We are autonomous and have the right to choose who we would like to have sex with and what sexual acts we would like to engage in.

We should not feel obligated to engage in sexual acts with anyone we don't want to.

We should not feel ashamed of our bodies or our desire.

(Note: this post applies to people of all genders!)

i have a good take

you shouldnt feel ashamed if youre sexually sensitive nor should you feel bad if youre not sensitive enough.

nobody should feel bad about the rate they cum at bc its not a set in stone time and not something you can fully control

your body is perfect as it was, as it is, and as it will be and i think you should be celebrated and cherished for anything you have and supported in the things you choose to change. no part of your body should be mocked and that should include what you cant control.

talk with your partner\partners about it and work out with them about what satisfaction is to them and how you both can work towards it and remember that sex isnt the only way to show love but it is a way of showing love you shouldnt be afraid of doing or shamed for if you have it differently