Stardew Valley Fair

Stardew Valley fair

Omg hi! May I request something with harvey and gn!reader in which they are in a game of truth or dare with the other balchelors/rettes and one of them dares the farmer to kiss the doctor (farmer and harv are not necessarily in a relationship yet but they are close friends...or more ?)

Drink water! XD

Hello!! This prompt was a lot of fun to do, and Harvey is so cute! Thank you for the request anon, I really appreciate it! I don't have a beta reader unfortunately, so this might have typos or awkward phrasing (english isn't my first language agh) but I hope you enjoy anyway!! This one took me a bit longer, sorry about that! Also I drank water just for you, anon <3

2329 words, foul language, alcohol consumption, general dumbassery. GN!Farmer, implied Sam/Penny, a little suggestive at certain points but this is overall pretty tame, it might be a little ooc near the end but i tried my best whoops, manipulative Haley(but it's for everyone's benefit, don't worry), uhhhh did I miss anything? OH YEAH someone eats a spoonful of mayo sorry about that LMFAO

Harvey doesn’t like drinking anything that isn’t wine.

Wine lets him unwind—it loosens up his tense, stressed muscles, and after one glass, he’s usually set for the night. He doesn’t go crazy. He doesn’t drink liquor.

The Farmer, however, apparently does.

They’re squeezed in on the loveseat between Elliott and Shane, with one arm thrown over the back of the cushions, and they’re intermittently stealing Shane’s beer to down a few gulps at a time. As their doctor, he’s concerned, but as their boy—as their friend—his nerve endings are singed, and an uneasy feeling is building in his gut.

If he was an idiot, he’d blame the feeling on the nasty liquor Alex and Haley brought to the farmhouse, deep brown and thick like molasses on the way down. Unfortunately, he’s more self-aware than that.

Which means he knows that the sudden stab through his chest when the Farmer leans in a little too close to Elliott—harsh and thrashing, like a green sludge cloying up his throat and gluing his tongue to the back of his teeth—is just jealousy.

Maru and Abigail cheer loudly on his left, piled onto the couch with Sebastian and Sam, and part of him wishes he’d stayed home. He could’ve faked sick, maybe, and blamed it on the cold slowly blowing in from the ocean during this time of year. He’s never really liked the winter season, anyway.

But then he’d have missed this, and even though watching the Farmer eat up the attention from Shane and Elliott is keying him up more than any surgery he’s ever had to perform, he never misses Thirsty Thursday.

‘Thirsty Thursday’ is what the Farmer calls it. They coined the term with their old group of friends back in the city, or so he’s been told. Rules are simple: once a month, everyone brings a bottle of alcohol to one person’s house, and they spend the whole night getting plastered while playing drinking games. The game is different every time.

Today's game of choice is truth or dare—or strip.

Everyone is in varying states of undress, and he’s already lost his vest, his tie, and both of his shoes. There’s a pile of clothes building in the middle of the living room, and eleven pairs of shoes scattered between half-empty bottles of alcohol.

Thankfully it doesn’t look like he’s going to be losing anything else, because the group has abandoned their attacks on each other in favor of ganging up on the Farmer, who’s still fully clothed. Their boots are still perfectly laced, strings untouched and swinging to-and-fro. He watches them like pendulums, and takes another sip from his cup.

Alex flops back on the floor and throws his arms up in defeat.

“I give up, this is impossible,” he shouts, and Haley pokes him in the side with her foot.

“Quit being dramatic, you big baby,” she scolds him, raising an eyebrow with all the judgement of an angel at the gates of the afterlife. She's always scared him, a little. Too keen, knows too much, sees too much. Reads him like he's a children's book.

“Oh come on, there’s gotta be something they won’t do.” Sam yells across the room, his laugh as boisterous as ever. Harvey winces. His ears always get more sensitive when he’s drunk.

The Farmer tosses their head back and laughs, the sound ringing sharply in his ears. Harvey licks his lips, and rubs off any residual alcohol clinging to his mustache with the back of his hand. The hair scratches his skin, and it grounds him, if only a little bit. He likes their laugh.

“Oh, I think I’ve got one,” Penny says suddenly, sitting up and pointing at the Farmer with an eager look on her face. Harvey knows for a fact that she’s stone-cold-sober, and he honestly can’t believe she’d even show up for Thirsty Thursday, given how she feels about alcohol, but maybe the fact that she’s been glued to Sam’s arm all night has something to do with it. He won’t ask. “Farmer, truth or dare?” 

“Bring it on, Pen. Dare,” the Farmer says.

“I dare you to eat a spoonful of mayonnaise.” Harvey’s face twists in disgust immediately, and the volume goes up to a hundred. Everyone’s laughing because they’re sure they wouldn’t. Not even the Farmer would do something so disgusting.

Harvey knows otherwise.

He watches with unsurprised horror as they lean forward, elbows on their knees, and give Penny a wild grin with their tongue bitten between their teeth. He wants to do that.

“That’s it?” Their voice is like a gunshot in the living room, silencing the group for half a moment before, like vultures to a corpse, Sam is jumping up and rushing into the kitchen with Alex and Leah hot on his heels. 

Within thirty seconds there’s a jar of mayonnaise sitting heavy between the Farmer’s thighs, and Emily is handing them a spoon. Harvey’s pretty sure at least seven of them are yanking their phones out of their pocket to video the whole thing, and while he gets it, he’s seen the Farmer do much worse.

He’s no longer surprised by anything they do. As their doctor, he’s well aware of the shenanigans they get up to during their free time, and if he’s being realistic, eating a spoonful of mayo is probably the tamest thing they’ve done in his presence.

It’s still fucking gross though. Harvey snorts to himself, watching the look on their face when they twist open the jar and dig their spoon into the devil’s condiment. Even when they talk a big game, he can read them easily. Harvey chuckles a little bit at the slightly green tinge on their cheeks as they bring it up to their mouth, and close their lips over the spoon.

They barely manage to get it down, to the resounding cheers of glee and disgust around them.

“Holy shit, you actually did it!” Sam cackles, shoving his camera in the farmer’s face. They flip him off and he devolves into a fit of giggles.

Sebastian gags behind him, shaking his bangs out of his eyes and flopping back down on the couch behind Harvey. “That was the grossest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“I don’t know whether to be impressed or disgusted,” Shane muses, holding his beer far out of reach from the Farmer’s grabby hands. “Nuh-uh, don’t even think about it, Farmer. You did this to yourself, and I don’t want your mayo mouth on my drink, go get your own.” 

The Farmer whines petulantly, and Harvey gets up on his knees to pass the bottle of cranberry juice Penny brought for the punch mix. There’s just enough leftover to wash down the taste, and the Farmer plucks the near-empty jug out of his hands gratefully.

“Oh, my savior, thank you.” They guzzle the rest of the jug without preamble, and in their haste, a single drop trickles from the corner of their lips and down their chin. Harvey watches it like a hawk, eventually losing sight of it under the collar of their shirt. He wonders how it’d taste to lick it off, and immediately turns his eyes to the floor.

His ears burn.

“That was disgusting, don’t make me do that ever again,” The Farmer says, and Emily throws a pillow at them. It bounces off of their head harmlessly, and Shane catches it as it falls to the floor.

“We didn’t make you do anything,” Shane reminds them dryly, leaning back into the cushions with a smirk. “You could’ve just taken off your boots or something.”

“But they have to protect their honor!” Leah laughs, sea-blue eyes bright and twinkling as she throws her arm over Elliott and the Farmer’s shoulder from behind the loveseat.

“Oh goodness, I can still smell it on your breath.” Elliott jokes, dramatically yanking himself out of Leah’s grip and leaning far over the arm of the loveseat.

“How do you think I feel?” The Farmer snaps at him without a trace of heat in their voice, and Elliott snorts into his palm.

“Well, if that didn’t work, I’m out of ideas.” Penny shrugs, sitting back against Sam’s chest. 

“Yeah, I’ve got nothing,” Sam agrees. “Anyone else?”

Silence follows, and Harvey almost gets ready to collect his clothes from the pile, when Haley raises her hand.

“I’ve got one more.”

“Can’t possibly be worse than making me eat mayo, so go ahead.” The Farmer shudders, setting the empty juice jug on the coffee table with a hollow thunk. Harvey settles back down, his heart making a distantly similar sound.

Haley cocks her head to the side, her hair swaying in front of her calculating blue eyes. “I dare you to kiss Harvey.” 

Harvey doesn’t like a lot of things. 

He doesn’t like liquor. He doesn’t like coral, or salmonberries, or the cold. He doesn’t like when the Farmer goes into the mines and comes back with a new gash on their skin, or a fractured bone in their limbs. He doesn’t like Thirsty Thursday.

He keeps his eyes glued to the Farmer, and desperately ignores every other pair of eyes currently digging into his skin. They’re probably all talking, but his ears have lost all functionality. The world sounds muffled and faraway, like his head is underwater.

“I, uh…” The Farmer stutters, and Harvey’s pulled back to shore. He hangs onto every syllable, his gut clenching, waiting for the sucker-punch of rejection. When it comes, he’s going to have to pretend to be normal about it, but everyone will stare at him with that glitter of pity in the backs of their eyes that he hates so much— “I’d have to brush my teeth. Harvey hates the taste of mayonnaise.”

Harvey’s lower jaw unhinges itself from his skull and falls into his solo cup with a splash.

He shakes his head, pushing his glasses higher on his nose. “I’m sorry, come again?”

The Farmer shrugs, but they won’t meet his eyes. “I mean, if you’re cool with it, I just have to brush my teeth. It was my dare, why should you have to suffer for it?”

They glance at him, at his lips, and Harvey’s launched to cloud nine.

“I—okay. Go brush your teeth then.”

The Farmer nods stiffly, their cheeks and ears flushing as they stand up. “Cool. Be right back.”

He looks up, suddenly afraid, and glances across the coffee table at Haley. She’s grinning, her teeth glinting like a lioness who just caught a gazelle in her jaws. Harvey rubs the back of his neck, his skin burning.

There’s a few hollers from the guys behind him, and he’s pretty sure Alex and Leah have both clapped him on the back. He didn’t even do anything.

“Okay!” The Farmer calls, their voice echoing down the hall and entering the room a few seconds before them. Harvey stays rooted to the floor, his wrists aching from leaning back on them for so long. His palms are probably indented with the texture of the rug beneath him. His eyes don’t stray from the Farmer as they walk around the couches and every forgotten bottle littering their living room floor. They crouch down in front of him, settling down on their knees, and Harvey’s brain finally catches up with him.

This is actually happening.

The Farmer is going to kiss him. He’s going to pass out.

“So, um. How do you want me to…?” They ask, and he thinks about it for a moment before realizing they’re looking at Haley. 

“You can’t figure that out for yourselves?” Haley asks, her voice sharp and cutting.

The Farmer’s hands flap around chaotically as they sputter, searching for an appropriate defense. “This is your dare! How am I supposed to know, I can’t read your mind!”

“Farmer.” Harvey sets his solo cup on the coffee table. “You didn’t brush your teeth just to argue with Haley, did you?”

It’s the fucking liquor. It always makes him lose his filter. It gives him confidence, but it chases his inhibitions away and makes him bolder. He’s impatient, and he’s been dancing around this ‘will-we-won’t-we’ thing he’s got going with the Farmer for months, and he’s sick of it. 

Another round of hollers and gleeful exclamations bounce off the walls, but he’s not paying attention anymore.

“No, I didn’t.” They say quietly, and they’re not paying attention anymore, either. “So how do you want me to do this?”

Harvey swallows hard, his eyes flicking down to their lips. “How do you think I want you to do it?”

“Messy,” they whisper, cupping his jaw in their hands, and he might as well be delirious. “But that’s not really appropriate when we have an audience, so you’ll have to settle for a little less.”

“Guess you’ll just have to do it again when there’s no audience,” Harvey hisses, and then their lips are on his. There’s condensation from the beer mixing with the sweat on his palms, but he brings his hands up to grip their waist anyway. They shiver against him, breathing slowly through their nose, and Harvey pulls them closer.

They taste like toothpaste, and feel like silk in his hands. He squeezes once, trying not to groan into their mouth, lest he put on a show for the rest of the group, but they rearrange themselves against his lips, and suddenly his glasses are digging into the bridge of his nose.

He yanks himself away, barely taking a breath as he tears his glasses off his face and tosses them onto the coffee table with a clatter. He pays it no mind. Someone whistles. Probably Sam. He drags the Farmer back in and slots their lips together, clicking together like puzzle pieces as they sling their arms over his shoulders. 

He slips his thumb under their shirt, just barely, and their voice rumbles deep in their chest.

He loves Thirsty Thursday.

i was looking through my masterlist and saw my new husband harvey post & inspo struck. hence, this.

contains ; fluff. sm fluff. new husband!harvey. fem!farmer. drabble. this might be kinda niche??😭😭 looking through harvey’s baby book <3

the boxes, once piled all throughout your previously vacant living room, now limited after the many hours spent working through them. you chose to take a chunk of your day off for this, helping him with the unpacking as he would’ve for you.

although you were leaving one chore for another, there was something so refreshing in the way you sorted through his old stuff, casually making comments about each item before placing it where you deemed fit.

you eventually got to one of the heavier boxes, filled with medical books you didn’t bother to open. just placing them beside you for him to move later.

towards the bottom were books you ended up recognizing from your own childhood, gushing short comments about how the nostalgia made your heart warm, and how you couldn’t wait to pass them onto your own children (which definitely didn’t go ignored by your husband.)

you reached for one that was unrecognizable to you, wide with a wrinkled spine and a puffy, plain cover. “what’s this?” you mumble absentmindedly, cracking it open to peek at the front page.

“hm?” he hums across the room, distracted with his own box.

the distressed corners of the open page, small bubble letters in text that instantly gave you the clue you needed, along with the neat writing of “harvey” underneath.

you gasp at the realization, a little too exaggerated in the way your lips pull to a pout and a loud, “aww,” whines from your throat.

“what?” he jumps, a frantic pinch in his eyebrows as he turns to face you.

you quickly open to the next page, where immediately, you melt.

there’s multiple photographs, the first one of a baby with thin, brown hair that’s hardly a month old. he’s being held in someone’s arms, someone you immediately recognize as your husband’s mother.

“it’s your baby book!” you chirp, leaning in to look at the photo with the softest eyes and the subtlest lip quiver.

the next photo underneath continues to be another baby photo, seemed to be taken the same day as the last, where he’s being held by his father. the sentimental aspect makes your heart ache.

“oh, i haven’t seen that in years.” harvey chuckles, now standing over you.

“aww, you look so cute. look at your little hands,” you gush, scanning the contents of each photo like it was your job.

you whine again when you flip to the next page. the photograph is of harvey, around age two at this point with short, messy brown hair. he’s got a shy smile on his face, cheeks red and due to the pumpkins in the background and the clothes he’s wearing, it’s clear it’s around autumn.

“i think that was my first time at a pumpkin patch.” he contextualizes, to which you let out another enamored squeal.

you don’t even pay attention to him taking a seat next to you, so captivated with the little book in your hands.

you continue to scan each photo, even a few that carry a small caption underneath. several candids of him at home, some at a what you can only infer is an airport—wide shots of him standing next to large planes with an eager grin, or even just him sleeping on the couch that his mom or dad took purely for the sake of how silly it was.

he sits beside you, only a little interested with the photos, but more focused on how you react with each one.

the way your eyes crinkle each time you sweetly sigh. you’ve propped your feet on the coffee table, resting the book on your bent knees while flipping through each page, making sure not to skip a single one.

and each time you find a particularly sentimental photo, you look at him for the backstory that lies behind it.

you flip to a picture where he’s grinning wide at the camera, around age seven or eight. there’s a large gap between his teeth, and the context is clear in the way he’s holding up the missing tooth with his thumb and forefinger for the camera to see.

this is the first picture where he’s wearing glasses, similar to the ones he still adorned even 25 years later.

“harvey,” you drawl, tone pitched an octave higher as you still carry the same whine. “this is so sweet, why haven’t you ever shown me this?”

“i would’ve if i knew i still had it,” he explains, looking from you to the book.

he can’t even remember when he last thought of it. maybe the last time he actually spent this much time sifting through it was when he was in college, so to be sitting here with the woman he married only days ago, well, it did something to him.

the soft whimpers you’d let out looking at an old photo of him posing with armfuls of his favorite miniature planes.

how you giggled when you stumbled on a photo he remembers being vividly embarrassed about, teasing him for such while his cheeks grow red and you eagerly beg for the backstory, in which he won’t tell you, so you end up saying, “fine, i’ll just have to call your mom and ask about it later.”

and it feels like his whole world is falling into place when you lean in to get a closer look, whispering a quiet, “god, i want one, i want a little you.”

i saw your tags on the bachelor post, sooooo if you please? could you spare some bachelorette hcs for the soul? 🤲🏻

Well, I suppose I could be persuaded—lmfao I’m kidding. You sent this on Sunday, and I assumed you were talking about the Bachelors In Bed hc list, so that’s what I wrote. I’m really glad someone wanted to see the girlies, too :) Enjoy, anon! 

Warnings: heavy NSFW. Sub/dom dynamics, mentions of headspaces, edging/overstim, dirty talk, degradation and praise, tons of swearing, light bondage(?), mentions of feet yikes, and I used GN!reader. They’re listed in ascending age order once again. Minors please do not interact, thank you!

Maru

She’s loud

The slightest touch can have her sighing, and lord have mercy on your eardrums if you nibble on her earlobe, because that’s Her Spot™

She has a tendency to hide her face in the pillows or behind her arms and hands

But that does absolutely nothing to keep her voice down

you’re caught totally off guard by it at first, and at some point you wonder if she’s putting it on, but no

She really is just that sensitive

And loud. Did I mention she’s loud?

Desperate for it, no teasing or edging for her please and thank you

She’s probably a little repressed, what with her dad being who he is (the stick up his ass is massive, genuinely)

So sex with her is going to reflect that, at least at first

Grabs onto you a lot, and her grip is strong as hell

probably has a marking kink and loves leaving hickeys on your thighs during the summertime when she knows you have to wear shorts

And lordy, does she scratch

You might as well have a permanent tattoo of her nails down your back because of how often she uses you as a scratching post

You like looking at them in the mirror though, and she always makes sure to put ointment on them afterward so they don’t become a problem

But this girl doesn’t really talk during sex, regardless of the kind

She’s too busy blowing the fucking roof off the farmhouse

Oh yeah. No sex at her place. Nope.

Not even a gag can shut her up, but you’re certainly welcome to try!

Probably could make your lips numb if you tried to kiss her while she was moaning

And despite what you might think of her at first, she’s not innocent

because of how Demetrius is, she may never have had any experience with another person, but that doesn’t mean she’s never used toys

She can’t buy her own, but she did make a few for herself!

Feel free to use them on her, but be warned that she’ll give you the same treatment afterward

As far as dynamics go, she’s a switch, and definitely overstimulates the fuck out of you as a dom, but when she’s subbing, she’s pretty docile

Listens to you well, and if there’s a sliding scale in terms of brattiness, her and Haley are on opposite extremes (more on that later though)

Overall sex with her is pretty intense, and no it does not settle down the longer you’re together so good luck

Maybe invest in some decent earplugs? For you and the whole town LMFAO

Penny

It’s hard to tell because she’s constantly muffling herself in one way or another

even though it’s implied that she has a situationship with Sam, she’s very inexperienced

She knows how she likes to be kissed, but as far as her knowledge on sex goes, nada

You’re going to have to lead her

She doesn’t really like hearing herself, just because it reminds her of what she’s doing and she’s embarrassed about it

So you can usually trust that she’s not going to be super loud, but she can talk

Nothing vulgar or raunchy

That’s just not who she is

So you’ll probably get way more “I love you’s,” and lots of quiet begging

But as far as noises go, she’ll give you sharp gasps or muffled whimpers

Doesn’t have a ton of confidence and kind of just lets you do whatever you want

That causes some problems early on because she’s not totally up-front about certain things, but you pay very close attention, so it’s not very often that it happens

But it’ll take a lot of trust and communication for her to open up about what she likes during sex

And then you find out that she likes being embarrassed

Make fun of her desperation a little bit, but you should definitely still indulge her 

Not to mention if you yourself are just as desperate, that’ll def make her short-circuit

The build-up is the loudest

Her volume is high when she comes, but it falls back down pretty quickly afterward

Grapples onto you like a koala

Like Alex, prefers a lot of contact, and similarly to Elliott, likes intimacy

But also tease her a bit

imagine her reaching for your hand to thread your fingers together, and you indulge her, but chuckle a little meanly?

Yeah. She's dead.

A sub, 10000%

And if you stop doing all the work and force her to do it herself, she is GONE

“If you want it, you’re going to have to work for it”

And she does work for it, but her face is bright red the whole time

A little tomato lol

You’ll have to give her a second to get over her embarrassment though

You can tease her about that too if you wanna

“Are you embarrassed by how badly you want me?” and she shakes her head because that’s not it but also it is

Probably tears up, but doesn’t cry

At least, none of her tears ever fall

Wants to cuddle after sex, and will not let you go for at least thirty minutes

You also are going to need to reassure her

So go for lots of compliments, be sweet and loving to her overall, and she’ll probably want to take a shower together afterward

You may or may not get a round two in there

Abigail

This girl

Well.

She’s got quite the mouth on her LMAO

What I mean is: Abigail curses like no one else

Which isn’t very surprising for anyone involved, but nonetheless I have to mention it

But as far as noises go—oml this girl is so ridiculous—she thinks her moans sound like a really bad imitation of pornstars faking it? hdsjhDGSKDJGH

So she doesn’t allow herself lol

It would take a lot to get her to make any higher noises

You’re not gonna hear any whines or whimpers out of her for the most part

But if you want to, you can overstimulate her

The thing about her voice is that once she starts using it, she won’t stop

If you open the floodgates, she won’t be able to close them

Things in motion tend to stay in motion, yadda yadda yadda

You get the point

Anyway yeah she sounds fucking phenomenal but don’t bother trying to convince her because it will not work ever at all lmfao

What a stubborn little shit abigail i’m in love with you pls

She jerks around a lot

She’s overall pretty sensitive, and if you catch her by surprise, she’ll yank herself away from you

It’s not because she hates it, it’s just reflex

You’ll have to hold onto her pretty tightly

But also.

Tie her up sometimes, maybe?

I imagine she’s the type to have some fuzzy purple handcuffs 

Probably bought them off amazon after losing a bet

But she’s never used them before

Except she has you now, so. You know. They see the light of day fairly often

If you want to know how she’s feeling, check her feet

Hold on stAY WITH ME—

She curls her toes whenever she likes something you do

So let’s say you’re going down on her, and you’ve got her legs slung over your shoulders

And you can’t hear her or see her face, but just.

Glance up, or to the side—wherever you’ve got them

And you can tell when she’s enjoying herself easily

Give her hickeys and bite her a bit—her neck is the most sensitive, so if you’re looking for some real sounds, go for there

be warned that she might make your ears ring

Haley

Now we know when you’re just getting to know each other, she’s kind of shallow and mean, right?

But give her some patience and she’ll soften over time

So once y’all are together

A brat.

But also not

Like, yeah, she’s bratty, and needy, and if you try to edge her or rile her up, she’ll just take what she needs ugh i love her

But her sounds will reflect that disposition, so depending on what you’re doing, she’ll either be super sweet, or a bitchy brat 

“You’re so slow, hurry up!” or “Please, I’ll be good, I’m so close”

Probably a switch, but leans more toward sub

Sensitive nipples (i hc nipple piercings for her lol you’re welcome for that image)

Latch onto her chest and she’ll be ready to go in like. Two minutes.

But if you want to mess with her, stay there for longer

She could probably come just from nipple play, but she’s never patient enough for it to happen

But touching on what she likes hearing from you for a second, here’s some advice: degrade her

Call her a slut, insult her a little, bro if you scold her for her attitude? Lol you’re never getting rid of her and why tf would you want to?

But despite her general temperament, she doesn’t like pain

So overstim as a punishment is your go-to

But she’ll often piss you off just to get that out of you

Kinda pisses you off sometimes

“Why can’t you just ask me for it? Why do you have to be so bratty? I’d give you what you want in the first place if you just set aside your pride and used your fucking words.”

“Don’t lie, you know you like it.”

She raises your blood pressure every day lmao

She’s versatile, so you’ll hear just about every kind of sound from her

As far as volume goes, she can’t keep her voice down for shit

A fun little challenge is to tell her to be quiet

She can’t do it for shit, but it’s still fun nonetheless lol

Leah

It’s a good thing she moved to the farmhouse with you, because she may not be loud, but you certainly are

This girl knows her shit

She’s really great at reading people, so if you were hoping to slip anything past her, you can toss those plans in the garbage right now lmao

She’s got a tongue and she knows how to use it

Plenty of experience, and she’s gonna make sure she puts it to good use

But she’s not going to go crazy

There’s no dynamics with her, no headspaces, nada

She’s not boring, of course, but she’s not really into all that intense shit

The most that’ll happen is she doesn’t let you touch her until you come at least once, and will probably overstimulate you if you ask for it, but that’s it

Has a very nice voice

Kind of similar to Abigail’s, but a little more smooth, and slightly deeper

She’s not all that shy about her voice, so you can expect an average amount of volume and frequency from her, but she’ll be at her loudest when all of the focus is on you

Very go with the flow, and doesn’t mind a little exploration as long as there’s a hefty amount of communication beforehand

With her relationship history, the easiest way to get her going is to be loving and sweet (FUCK YOU, KEL!)

So if you kiss her with no ulterior motives, or “just because,” that’ll probably be enough to rile her up

Also consent. Consent is very sexy to her

She thinks it’s pretty attractive, seeing you hold yourself back for her benefit

And because she’s so great at reading people, it also means that she knows exactly when you’re doing that

“You keep looking at my lips. Is there something you want to say?”

Likes to tease you about it, but you both know it drives her just as crazy to see you get like that

Likes being complimented quite a bit, (once again, FUCK YOU, KEL) but nothing too raunchy or nasty

Call her “pretty”, or say “I love you” against her lips between kisses?

You’ll have this woman wrapped around your finger like a soulmate string

Emily

In terms of romance, this girl gives Elliott a run for his money

Sex is going to be full-blown occasion for her

Candles, rose petals, music, and definitely some essential oils in a diffuser to help you relax

Probably turns on a salt lamp to align your chakras beforehand or some shit idk

She does not fuck, let’s make that clear now.

Also there are no power dynamics here, nope

Likes intimacy, and prefers any position that makes it easy to kiss you

Which. Oof. She is messy.

Lots of tongue, and if you’re close, probably just gasping into each other’s mouths

She doesn’t actually use pet names during sex

She thinks it’s more romantic and personal to use your name

Maybe a nickname, if you’ve got one

But yeah, no “baby,” “sweetheart”—nothing like that

Also. Eye contact.

EYE. CONTACT.

Will hold your face and force you to look her in the eyes if you try to look away

It’s like the world zeroes in on you two, and she will not focus on anything else

Loves cataloging every expression you make, so if you want to fuck with her facing away from you, you better get a mirror because she refuses to miss anything

Surprisingly not very loud?

Like you’d think she would be, but she’s surprisingly quiet

Not because she’s not enjoying herself, but because she’s just. Not very vocal lol

Loving praise, unsurprisingly

And she gives as good as she wants to get

Probably laces your hands together and presses it over one of your chests, just above your hearts emily please you’re killing me here

Skin contact, a fuckton of foreplay, and honestly her room could serve as a hippie’s sex shop lmfao

So many toys, oils, lube, this girl is prepared for anything

Probably a little vanilla, but that doesn’t mean it’s boring

I assure you it is never boring

I think it’s probably a little surprising for you at first, just how loved she can make you feel

I think with the current dating sphere, with the explosion of social media and smartphones and whatnot, everyone is very disconnected from one another

And she hates it, so when she decides to open up to someone like that, she’s going to do it right

Makes you feel so loved, and you’re obsessed after only the first time

She likes keeping your sexual life private

So don’t expect her to be ready to go whenever, and she doesn’t like a whole lot of PDA

Will not fuck you in any part of the farmhouse except your bedroom

No kitchen or couch sex. Boo-hoo

She wants it to be personal and private, because she feels like it makes it more special if it’s only shared between you two

And your bedroom is your safe-space

She probably says it’s about keeping the atmosphere balanced or whatever

She doesn’t want to have to leave charged rocks on every surface to deal with it if something disrupts that positive energy I am literally in love with her

yeah babe i love how negative and hard to be around you are <3

brain rot hours 👀? you said nsfw was cool sooooooo what do you think shane sounds like in bed lol

This ask made my brain rot even worse so I did all of the bachelors LMFAO. This is kind of all over the place, and I veered off tangentially on a few of them, but I did my best to stick to the topic. I also went ahead and situated them in (what I think is, anyway) ascending age order, so younger bachelors are first. Some are longer than others but that does not reflect my feelings for them. No favoritism here, bay-bee. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Thank you very much for your request hkjhlashfiloveu. :)

All of them are NSFW. There are mentions of sub/dom dynamics, explicit language, praise/degradation/dirty talk, a few bits of dialogue, mentions of oral sex, and I curse quite a bit. Sorry about that. I also tried my best to keep everything gender neutral, but let me know if there’s anything I can improve on. If you want an afab or amab farmer, I can write both, just remember to specify in the future! As usual, minors, please do not interact!!

Sam

Sam is fucking loud, okay?

Lead singer of a band and you really think he doesn’t have a set of pipes on him?

You’ve reserved your escapades to the farm only, because Haley and Emily would get an earful if you fooled around at his place, and you don’t need any incidents with his family overhearing his loud ass, either

He is loud, and he is shameless, and whether it’s moaning, whimpering, whining, or groaning—you’ll hear it out of him

Mans is versatile

Pathetic is one of the only words I can find to describe how he sounds in bed though if I’m honest

This guy definitely doesn’t have too much experience, so it’s easy to rile him up, and holy fuck if he isn’t sensitive as hell

He’ll make noise even if you're just kissing him

And he’s needy

“You’re too far away, come here” “kiss me more”

This boy has a filthy mouth on him

And he begs like a little bitch lol

“Please, I’m so close, it’s right there, just a little more, fuck please”

If you were expecting him to be a dom you’re on the wrONG BLOG LMFAO

Tie him up and treat him a little roughly, and this boy is drooling with fucking heart eyes, I promise you

But yeah, doesn’t matter if you’ve got your hands on him, if you’re blowing him, or if y’all are fucking, he’s gonna make noise no matter what

When he’s close, his voice gets higher and comes out faster, so every other breath he’s making noise

The only time he’s completely and utterly silent is when he comes

He’s the type to hold his breath when it hits him, and it only lasts a few seconds before he’s gasping and moaning again

And even if all of the attention is on you, and you’re not touching him, this man is gonna be loud

If he’s fingering you? Definitely gonna spill a few curses at how you feel on his fingers

If you let him go down on you? He’s moaning, and lord help him, if you start pulling his hair and forcing him this way and that??

Lights out, goodnight, he is officially gone.

Sebastian

Depends heavily on circumstance, I think

If you’re in control, he’s moaning and gasping, and his voice is so fucking pretty

A little scratchy from his smoking habit, if I’m honest, but it’s still a very nice voice

Especially if he’s the one in charge

And if he is in charge, he’s groaning, and hear me out—he laughs at you.

Not meanly! (kinda meanly) just, yanno

Some slight degradation

“Hah, does it really feel that good? I haven’t even done all that much to you yet and you’re already like this?” 

Hnnnghghffsebastianjustonechanceplease

Probably a little insecure about his voice, but if he knows you like it, that’s all the information he needs

He just wants to make you feel good, so if there’s something he can do to make it feel better, he’s going to do it

That said, he mirrors you quite a bit

So if you’re loud, he’s gonna be loud (what do you expect from him, really? It’s not his fault you sound so good), and if you’re quiet, he’s gonna be quiet, too

He’ll never be completely silent, just because he doesn’t have that kind of self-control, but he’s definitely quiet

It also depends on how heavy you’re going

So if it’s rough, his voice will also probably reflect that: lots of groaning, heavy breathing, some curses here and there.

Soft sex will be quieter, but he’ll also be a little sweeter. There’ll be more praise, probably some “I love you’s” sprinkled in there, and he’ll try to muffle his higher noises into your lips or any other skin he can reach

Overall, I think sex with him will go one way or the other

Sub or dom? Whines or groans? Flip a coin and lemme know how it goes lol

Alex 

He’s the kind of person who won’t make a lot of noise

he’s panting and breathing heavily, and that’s probably it

But he talks quite a bit

And we all know that deep down this boy is a hopeless romantic(hello, ten-heart event!), so his dirty talk def reflects that

Get ready for PRAISE. SO much praise

“You feel so fucking good, baby,” “I’ve been waiting for this all day,” “you’re doing good for me, just like that,” etc.

If he’s really into it, especially when he’s close to cumming, he’ll stutter a lot or just give up halfway through his sentences lmao

Don’t misunderstand, it’s not that he refuses to make noise because he thinks it’s weird

He just prefers the way you sound, yanno? So he’d rather keep it down to hear you better

But if you let him know that you want to hear him more, he’d make an effort to let some sounds loose

But he wouldn’t fake them, and he’s not gonna suddenly start blowing out your eardrums

The first time he properly groans, he feels the effect it has on you

It could be the most pathetic, shaky, and quiet sound ever, but your reaction is immediate

Goosebumps over your arms, subtle trembling/shivering, bro, if you grab him a little bit tighter???? 

and now that he can see with absolute certainty that you enjoy his voice?

His confidence will sky-rocket, and you’ll get wayyyy more noise out of him from then on

He will take the opportunity to tease you about it after you’re done though

“Damn, you like my voice that much, huh?”

I am also a firm believer that he prefers positions with a lot of proximity and skin contact, so lots of missionary, back-to-chest, etc. (he also likes positions where he can show off his strength and stamina, but that’s neither here nor there)

He loves anything where he can press in close and have as many points of contact as possible

Which makes it way easier to dive low and spit romantic filth into your ear, you with me?

Lives for the reactions he can drag out of you with just his voice

It might be his favorite part about sex with you if I’m being realistic

It's nice to see tangible proof that you’re enjoying yourself because of what he’s doing, obviously, but the fact that he can have you reduced to such a mess with just his voice?

This man is absolutely gone on you, I swear

Elliott

Lordt have mercy

I think in terms of volume, he’d be pretty average.

Like he’s not going to drown you out, but he’s definitely not quiet

Having said that

Moans, praise, and sappy declarations of love are his modus operandi

Elliott is a poetic soul: he’s got a way with words, and a romantic heart

Intimacy is important to him, and the more connected you are, the sweeter he sounds

He doesn’t curse nearly as much as any of the bachelors, either

While the rest of them spit filth at you with a good helping of swearing tossed into the mix, he’s a little more classy and eloquent with how he goes about it

“You sound heavenly, my love,” “how was I so fortunate as to meet you,” “so good to me, my precious flower”

what a cheese lol elliott pls i’m begging i would give you everything

One hundred percent convinced y’all are soulmates

And it’s kind of obvious during sex

He hates not being able to see your face while you’re in bed together

Wants to be able to kiss you while he’s making love to you, and will absolutely moan into your mouth while doing so end me

But he’ll be at his loudest when you’re indulging his desire for intimacy

Hold his hand during sex. I dare you.

Cup his cheeks? Tell him you love him while he’s mid-thrust?

Lol if you’re at his cabin on the beach, you better hope Willy took his boat out for some ocean fishing because otherwise, he’ll definitely hear

But enough about volume

Elliott’s voice is smooth like butter, and fairly deep

listening to him fall apart feels like pouring warm honey down your spine

He sounds so good, and he’s not shy about it

Will only beg if he wants you both to come at the same time—otherwise everything is pretty neutral—no dom/sub dynamics, he just wants to make love to you

I wouldn’t say he’s vanilla by any means, but that’s a story for another time

Shane

If he’s in a Mood™, this man is nasty.

Point-blank, no bullshit.

He doesn’t moan, or whine, or whimper—you’d have to overstimulate the shit out of him to get a reaction like that, but unless you’re willing to deal with the consequences, I don’t personally recommend doing that lol yes I do

But for the sake of the ask, let’s say you don’t

Grunts and groans—that’s all you’re getting as far as sounds go

But not to worry, because dirty talk is his specialty

Will praise you while degrading you

“Look at you, drooling and drunk all for my cock,” “Wish you could see how pretty you are, baby”

Hnngf anyway

He’s at his loudest when you agree with him

Sound confusing? Here, have some examples.

“I’m the only one who can fuck you like this, aren’t I?” “no one could make you feel the way I do”

Say yes to anything like that? ^^^

And this man is yours.

He’ll get SO loud, and he’ll dive head-first into dirty talk like his life depends on it

Oh, you thought he was filthy before?

Lmao anyway yeah he’s possessive and likes it when you indulge him

But if he isn’t in a Mood™, and you catch him during a good moment, he veers a little more toward Elliott’s territory

Like definitely still possessive, but less vulgar about it, and not as cheesy

This guy has low self-esteem, and a lot of his insecurities stem from not feeling adequate for everyone in his life—including you

So if he’s feeling a little softer around the edges, and you take the moment to remind him that you’re in it for the long haul and have no intention of going anywhere

He’s groaning praise and loving filth in your ears

Definitely has a breeding kink I mean what I didn’t say anything

Anyway yeah lots of “so good to me,” “can’t believe I got this lucky,” “do you have any idea what you do to me?” etc., etc., etc.

Shane sir my husband my favorite chicken man just one chance please I beg

Harvey

A crier

Lol jumping straight into it LESGO

Pathetic little sobs because he’s so overstimulated and it feels just a little too good

Stutters quite a bit—he likes giving up control to you so he doesn’t have to think, but that often means he loses his ability to speak coherently

this man is so stressed all the time and he just wants you to help him shut his brain off

Is a blushing, sobbing mess

Probably hiccupping a little if it gets to be too much

His crying is probably due to a mix of embarrassment and pleasure if I’m being realistic

But I personally hc him as someone who enjoys feeling a little stupid and sex-drunk, especially because of how much you seem to enjoy seeing him get like that

Don’t get me wrong, when it’s casual sex and not in the midst of a scene, this man is just as loving as any, but there’s a certain empty-headedness he gets when he feels too good

Doesn’t really talk much, again, he can’t think straight long enough to string anything together

If he does manage to get anything out, it’ll be a lot of one-word compliments and simple begging—also he slurs his words quite a bit

“Feels s’good, please don’stop” “please, s’pretty,” “like that, right there—hnngmfuck!”

I am dead

Sex is probably one of the only times he’ll cuss actually

Now I don’t imagine him as a goody-two-shoes-pure-boy-do-no-wrong-innocent-mind

Definitely not

But yanno, he’s not swearing up a storm in his day to day, or accessorizing every other sentence with “fuck” and “shit” like a certain someone abby i’m lookin at you babe

But he’ll definitely lose his filter during sex

My brain has collapsed after this jesus christ