Otvblake / Octavia !

otvblake· / octavia ! 

     it’s a sight to see.  blodreina seeming hesitant.  afraid, perhaps?  she’s cautious and slow as she approaches the male, watching him with each step that she takes.  her expression is anything but hardened, and in fact, it’s obvious that her walls are down in this very moment.  she’s thankful that there’s nobody else other than them. 

“ you know how it feels to be hated by everyone.  how do you make it hurt less? ”

     vulnerable.  so damn vulnerable.

EARS  PERK  AT  THE  SOUND  of  her  voice .  he  hadn’t  expected  company ,  especially  by  that  of  octavia .   ( none  other  than  blodreina  herself ! ) he’d  heard  the  stories ;  the  horrors  that  had  taken  place  in  that  bunker .  how  couldn’t  he ?  octavia  was  in  hot  water  now ,  that  much  was  clear .   ( and  oh ,  did  murphy  know  how  that  felt . )

❛ you  don’t . ❜   he  answers  finally .  the  taste  of  liquor  coats  his  tongue ,  eyes  glossed  over  in  a  buzzed  haze .  and  as  he  cranes  his  head  to  look  at  her  from  where  he  sat  at  the  bar ,  he  hates  to  think  that  he  looks  just  as  vulnerable  as  she .   ( as  tired ,  exhausted .   as  broken . )   hell  was  a  demented  place .  he  supposed  she’d  been  to  a  hell  of  her  own  and  back ,  too .

he’s  talking  now ,  and  maybe  it’s  the  alcohol  that  coaxes  it  out  of  him ,  or  maybe  it’s  just  because  he  has  something  to  say .  murphy  doesn’t  know ,  but  with  cracks  in  his  armor ,  it’s  too  late .   ❛ it  hurts ,  and  it’s  aggravating .  and  no  matter  how  much  good  you  do ,  it’s  never  enough .  you’ll  pay ,  and  you’ll  keep  paying . ❜   and  he’s  shifting  in  his  seat .  gaze  drops  for  a  moment ,  the  guilt  and  pain  and  fear  a  little  too strong  and  the  feeling  of  vulnerability  a  little  too  uncomfortable  for  him  right  now .  he  tosses  back  another  shot  as  though  to  wash  the  feeling  away ,  and  he  tries  not  to  think  of  his  mother .   (  like  mother  like  son ,  says  the  devil  in  his  head .  the  thought  makes  him  sick . )  

there’s  a  clink  as  glass  meets  wood ,  and  pale  knuckle  is  sliding  octavia  an  extra  glass .   ❛ just  give  it  time . ❜   he  says .   ❛ redemption  doesn’t  happen  overnight ;  all  you  can  do  is  wait  and  hope  whatever  god’s  out  there  lets  you  have  it . ❜  

and  again ,  i  have  risen  from  the  dead.  i  am  forever  sorry  about  how  sporadic  i am.;(

❛ feel  like  i’m  on  the  fast  track  to  laying  face  down  from  a  heart  attack.  ❜    / @damnfoxed​  sent  ☾ ! 

ok  so  i’m  gonna  push  out  some  small  asks  before  i  go  to  work,  but !  i  also  just  wanted  to  see  if  👉 👈  anyone  plays  a.cnh  bc  i  wanna  add  y’all 

Appreciation for Murphy just… sulkily kicking off his shoes. 

when the 𝖋𝖎𝖗𝖊'𝖘 𝖆𝖙 𝖒𝖞 𝖋𝖊𝖊𝖙 again     - –––               &_ the 𝙫𝙪𝙡𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚𝙨 all start 𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠.                   they’re whispering,                   you’re out of 𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊      [ … ]              but still,      - –––

I RISE.