Cw Rant. Cw Parents, Bullying & Ableism (?)

cw rant. cw parents, bullying & ableism (?)

since my birthday is a few days away now, i told my mom that i wanted an animal crossing birthday party and a cake and even if she didn’t order the cake, I’ll just have the cake toppers and stick it on my cake. either way is okay.

she goes ahead and asks me why i didn’t tell her sooner but what she doesn’t understand is that, we were ordering a limo to come to my house and go fun places and have the BEST time EVER, so that when I grow older in the future, I can remember all that and to live the best life. on top of that, we were buying a cake, party stuff, balloons, crowns, etc and stuff were OUT of stock and that I didn’t wanna ask and they didn’t see. I DID see a cake that had Tom nook a day ago but when I confirmed the order, it went out of stock FAST. that’s what I said and the MAIN reason why I couldn’t say.

she has the audacity to bring up my neurodivergency and goes “no wonder you’re not normal!” towards me knowing that i struggle with things. and then she goes “can’t you see thats for babies? you’re so old for that anyway..” and I told her, “but it’s my fixation game? getting a cake will just make it better because I’ll be really happy.” and she says, “you’re a fucking grown bitch. you’re not a kid anymore, youre a teen thats working, stop being childish. youre too fucking young for that. pick something else!!!” and then storming out the room.

i just feel really bad because when i was younger, when I played mario kart for the switch, isabelle was the first character that made me addicted to playing as her in the mario kart game and then, when I discovered SSB (smash bros for the 3ds and switch), I became obsessed with both male and female villager. so since they introduced me to animal crossing, that’s when I thought of getting a cake of them so that I can remind myself that nothing can stop me from loving the characters and the game.

SHE LITERALLY BROUGHT ME THE GAME. she KNOWS that I cannot HELP watching it ALL the time. she knows that i like Tom nook and wants his birthday balloon to carry to my work place with party bags but loads of people hate me for being different and neurodivergent. nobody really likes me. expect 2 people. so therefore I can’t do shit about it. I didn’t wanna be seen as the “weird autistic person who likes childish stuff”. but she makes me feel like that.

now I have to do my birthday without it for the last time, and then get it for my next birthday that’ll be next year in 12-13 months since it’s in February.

I just feel so bad and mad at myself for asking cause she brought up how autistic i am. and because she always gets angry for stuff I cannot control nor the amount of stuff I get told. nor my health issues and totally shutting down and lashing out on everyone when mad.

she gaslights me alot also. and is severely negative to me. so now I have to do my birthday without it and have a normal birthday in order to avoid being “weird” or seen as “not normal” and “stupid” and “socially acceptable.”

And she told me to stop watching those characters because they don’t “matter”. like alright i get that im retarded and a weirdo. no need to make me feel dread about it.

50000 likes!

YESSSSSS I HIT THAT MILSTONE AYYYEEEEE

i feel so shit rn. remember the girl i had a crush on but i crushed on her man by accident but fell in love w her instead? there’s two other girls i met at lunch in december last year before christmas and she said she is bi and had an “ex girlfriend”. i told her i was attracted to girls since she asked and she went, “mmh, that’s really cute!! aww” and her and her little friend was acting so nice and sweet yesterday and then out of NOWHERE today, i literally ran to them to say hi and they ran away from me?? i waved hi and they gave me looks and walked away rudely. maybe they were in a bad mood but there’s way more. i went up to them and said “hey” and they got angry and left. i don’t know what i’ve done?? i never did anything to her and there’s this queer boy in my place who keeps being jealous and spreading rumours about me, apparently he heard i kissed a girl and literally nobody is talking to me?? no one wants to be my friend. everyone's making fun of me cause they’re assuming I am “disabled” but, then, they all kept gossiping and whispering to each other each time i walk past. i don’t know what that mf said but every time i walk past, it’s always something. I don’t know what he said yesterday but no one talks to me. like wtf??? he’s jealous extremely but... i’ve heard he’s making fun of me for having same sex attraction when he is GAY and have attraction to men aka SAME. SEX. like?? wtf bruh?? i am going to try talk to the girls on monday and if they keep ignoring me then im just gonna stfu with it.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEARRR 🎆🎉🧧🫶🐰

i have to work tmrw and i had a crush on this girl for like a little while now and it’s just so heartbreaking cause i got multiple crushes on the girls who are friends with me and the ones who i wanna become friends with. it’s so much funnier cause she is dating men right now and she likes/loves me and is in love, but if i ever said i liked her, there’s a 50% chance of her being my girlfriend, 50% of her not being my girlfriend and another 1% chance of the other girls who i have a “crush” on liking me cause one is dating a guy right now and i just know once i let her know, she gonna bully me and reject me 😝 /s (the other girl, not the 1st one)

i got outed by my “friends” to others that im gay now ppl are being weird about it and they’re “disappointed”

🫡