Back In The Day, K-Ci And Jojo Were The R&B Duo That Recorded Andreleased Such Tripe As "All My Life".

Back in the day, K-Ci and Jojo were the R&B duo that recorded and released such tripe as "All My Life". They wrote sweet, sappy love songs designed to make the good girl melt. Aww.

That shit ain't gonna get you any street cred though. So how do you fix it?

15 years ago this month, the duo teamed up with the late, great Tupac Shakur, aka 2Pac, to record "How Do U Want It". It is still one of the filthiest beats ever recorded. Who knows how many dancers have grinded up against a stripper pole to this song.

Street cred achieved.

Like many other people, I've been following the plight of the Chilean miners who were stuck underground for 17 days.

However, this is my favourite story of the lot. The only reason I'm blogging about it is so that I can find it easily when I'm having a sad moment. It's always nice to see someone fuckup worse than you.

In which I indulge my tomboy and bogan sides.

I have a dilemma. But first! The backstory:

Recently, I've been spending a lot of time, money and mental resources watching and studying rugby. And it's not just because I like the look of a few players, although that helps. A whole lot. A group of friends and myself have formed our own gambling syndicate. It was decided that bets would be placed on rugby games, in the lead up to the 2011 Rugby World Cup. This will be done by placing bets on the following tournaments in this order:

The ITM Championship 2010: formerly known as the NPC. It's the one where the provinces go at each other in their quest to hold the Ranfurly Shield aka the Log O Wood. This championship is currently in play and the best players from these teams are then chosen for a franchise team. 

Super Rugby: recently launched and formerly known as the Super 14. It's the one with the franchise teams, such as the Hurricanes and the Blues. This is where the best players from these teams are chosen to form the All Blacks. 

Tri-Nations: After the All Blacks are chosen, they normally play a few warm-up games against countries like Wales, Ireland, England and Samoa. Once that's over, they then play our fiercest rugby enemies, Australia (the Wallabies) and South Africa (the Springboks).

Bledisloe Cup: This is the grudge match between the Wallabies and the All Blacks. All Blacks generally win this.

2011 Rugby World Cup: The big one. This is where all national rugby teams from around the world play gather and against each other until there's only one mighty team left standing. All Blacks generally don't win this.

This timetable gives us an outlet for our gambling and allows us to watch the players and their teams as the move through the ranks, thus giving us plenty of information once the RWC hits and we start to place our bets. It also gives me, the only person who didn't watch rugby and couldn't name more than two current All Blacks, time to study and get clued up about everything.

Thus far things been going swimmingly well for me as I have only really placed my money on the following teams: Auckland, Taranaki and Southland. Happily, all three are now sit within the top 5 on the table, although I should point out that my first two picks are out of loyalty; I was raised in Auckland and Taranaki. However I have no connection with Southland, apart from my bogan tendencies and sharing their love of cheese rolls and Bluff oysters. I put money on them because they are the current holders of the shield, and they are still bloody ecstatic about it. Which has been awesome and they can claim a lot of the credit for breathing new life in the ITM championship.

Last week, I came to the first ineveitable crossroad: two of my teams played against each other. I still put my money on Southland to win (even though it wounded my JAFA pride), because that game was played in Southland and they had experienced a massive snowfall that collapsed their stadium. 100 volunteers showed up 2 days before the match to clear the field of snow that was 10cm deep. Even I could see that Auckland weren't gonna win in those conditions and they predictably didn't.

However, another two of my teams are playing each other this weekend. It's Taranaki vs Southland in a match that I have lovingly dubbed 'The Battle of the Bogans'. This time the game is in Taranaki, and it's just wet and cold, unless you're a Southlander.

My dilemma - I don't know where to put my money. The gambler in me says that I should put my money on Southland, but evidently I spent too long in the 'Naki and now I am tainted; I want Taranaki to win! If they win, I will publicly acknowledge my Taranaki roots (instead of hiding behind a blog). However, the simple act of placing money on Taranaki causes the gambler in me to cry out in horror. On the flip side, the need to put money on Southland leaves my Naki pride scandalised.

Damn.

Guess I finally understand why NZ gets so worked up over a rugby game.

unscrupulousmaneater:

siddman:krissybelle:supercalifragi-sexy:bikinifetish:(via iwillbiteyou, fuckingtenderlingprincess)

I can’t wait for my hair to grow longer because then, when I don’t straighten it, it will look like this…but black. 

I haven't put a comb or brush through my hair in 3 years because I want it to look just like this...but black with caramel and ginger highlights.

I like to think I'm successful.

Oh shit! Ted's plan got snapped!

You bet that photographer will get a bigger ass-kicking. If the All Blacks lose then it won't just be the team who dishes out the hiding - it'll be the rest of the rugby-watching public in NZ.

I don't really watch rugby, so why do I care? Because I'm a degenerate gambler who put money on this game before this photo was snapped.

Bret Easton Ellis does The Baby-Sitters Club

As a young bookworm who spent a lot of time travelling in cars, I inhaled any book that was near me. It was one of my better coping mechanisms. One series that I read obsessively (before dropping without a second thought) was The Babysitters Club aka BSC if you were cool.

As in the style of all vanilla-flavoured American pop-culture, BSC is mostly about the unique struggles of a bunch of perky (one day, God will unleash a plague of caffeine-deprived zombies and they will only eat the perky people. I hate "perky" people) bland, whiny, determined middle-class white people who have a few quirky ethnic friends that still manage to fit into their respective stereotypes. For example, Claudia Kishi fits into the All-Asians-Look-Good-In-Any-Whacked-Out-Shit stereotype. There is a fabulous website dedicated to her clothing choices. She is an early 80's/late 90's Asian Lady Gaga with a sugar problem and I heart her enormously.

God, I love racism. It's some of the best fun you can have.

Anyway, a genius named Drew Grant has decided to rewrite the series in the style of Bret Easton Ellis, thus making the series readable again. We now receive gems like the following:

There is nothing more depressing than coming home after last bell at StoneyBrook High, trying to get my room in order for the Baby-Sitters’ Club meeting, and then realizing that you really don’t even give a shit anymore. Like, sorry that you have diabetes Stacey, but do we have to spend half the afternoon discussing it? And yeah, it really bums me out to watch Claudia just snort up half those Pixie Stixs when she is so blatantly trying to get attention to her sugar problem, but every time we try to talk to her about it she says she needs it to focus on her art and that her super-strict Asian parents are coming down on her ass again so what’s the point, really? This whole club is really getting to be a drag but whatever, I started the project and I just know that bitch Marci is waiting for me to like, drop the ball on this whole thing so she can pick up all the money and maybe Mary-Anne’s boyfriend Logan as a nice “fuck you too” perk

Good shit! Now this is what a bunch of pre-teens are thinking.

I've spent a chunk of the afternoon reading this while listening to Lady Gaga. Totally upgraded my mood. Try it. First Bret Easton Ellis does BSC chapter is here, chapter two is here, and it shouldn't take more than a few brain cells to find chpater 3