Shiro: Ten Years Ago I Married My Best Friend.

Shiro: ten years ago I married my best friend.

Shiro: Adam's still mad about it, but me and Matt were drunk and thought it'd be funny

Pidge: I'm thinking about getting a dog.

Allura: Oh, can she? Can she get a dog, please Shiro?

Shiro: No. If you get a dog, I'm going to be the one stuck taking care of it.

Pidge: You wouldn't have to take care of it.

Shiro: Really? And who watered the philodendron on your bookcase and sang it back to life?

Pidge: Yeah, that was made out of silk, Shiro.

Hunk: Okay, Pidge, what you need is indeed something that buries a bone, but I'm not talking about a dog. I'm talking about a man.

Pidge: Here we go.

Hunk: You're clearly trying to fill a hole

Lance: [About to say something dirty]

Hunk: ...in her heart.

Hunk: You feel like the seventh wheel, because now Lotor is with Allura and Lance's with Keith and Shay's with Big Fudge.

Lance: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Big Fudge.

Lance: "With"? I am not "with" Keith. Wrong preposition.

Lance: Later tonight I'm hoping to be on Keith, right? Or under Keith, right? Or, we're all adults, I'll just say it behind Keith.

Allura: [Singing] Oh, Lance's got feeling for a boy.

Lance: Yeah. Penis feelings. Because he's hot.

Pidge: There’s nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand just to seem smart.

Lance: I photosynthesize with this

takashi shirogane, babysitter extraordinaire 

What Do You Mean You Can’t Get Your Own Food: • keith and lance’s kid: uncle shiro I’m hungry • shiro: there’s leftover pizza in the fridge bro help urself • kid: • kid: I’m 6 • shiro: oh • shiro: okay then you can have the leftover pad thai instead • kid: • kid: I want to talk to uncle adam instead • shiro: yeah that’s probably for the best

Academic Excellence: • shiro: so how’s school? u started studying for the SAT yet • kid: I’m 6 • shiro: oh • shiro: uh • shiro: how is…..coloring…..class • kid:

Stop Laughing, Adam, I’m Not A Complete Failure At This: • kid: having a meltdown over smth: I WANNA SEE PAPI AND DAD • shiro, panicking: pops off his prosthetic • kid: :O u can take off ur arm!! that’s so cool!! *takes arm and starts swinging it around like a sword* • shiro: I Am A Master Of Babysitting

has the 10-year realization meme been done yet (twitter)

*bonus*