Busy Confession

Busy Confession

[Mean Girls 2004] Janis Ian x Female Reader

Word Count: 5.81k

Proofread: No

Content Warnings: Language, anxiety, and feelings of rejection

[A/N]: Story three for Janis--I'll be working on another character soon. I still have a couple of characters I want to write for, but then I'll upload the master list I'm currently making and start answering requests.

[A/N] #2: Sorry this one took longer than the others. I've been trying to post every Saturday, but I could not for the life of me figure out how to write this one. I haven't proofread this yet, so let me know if there are any mistakes.

Enjoy!

 “Oh come on, turn red already!” Janis hollered, her voice raising towards the end as her nails dug into the material of her steering wheel. Her hands had begun to cramp in the past few minutes, and she knew it was from her white knuckled grip that she had on the wheel during the entirety of her drive, but each time she tried to loosen said grip to help her tense, aching muscles relax, they’d return to their firm grasp at the mere thought of the text she had received.

Logistically speaking, Janis knew [Y/N] wasn’t trying to come across as flirty or teasing. In the emotional part of her mind, however, she wondered if it was actually the opposite–if the girl she had been crushing on for years was finally picking up on it and was now taunting her with semi-flirty responses. Usually, when her emotions would spiral out of control the way they were in the moment, she’d head to [Y/N]’s house to rant about it and ask for any kind of advice. Since that was who was causing what she was feeling, however, she knew she had to resort to her other best friend: Damian. Too jittery from her gay panic, Janis only managed to call him long enough to let him know she was headed over.

He had tried to say something to her before she hung up, but she was in too much of a rush to get in the car that she didn’t comprehend a word he said. She hopped into her car after barely remembering to snag her keys from the hook by the door, scolded herself when she struggled to get the key into the ignition, then sped off out of her driveway toward the direction of Damian’s house.

On the way there, she continued to glance anxiously over at her phone, which she had tossed over into the passenger seat. She feared that [Y/N] would notice her going silent and say something, but she herself couldn’t think of anything to say. With anyone else, she could blurt out a clever retort or crack some kind of joke. With this girl, however, she always seemed to find herself falling silent. The last thing she wanted to do was say something weird or make the situation worse and lose [Y/N]. She was aware that wasn’t how it would happen. After all, she had known [Y/N] far longer than she had known Damian, and even knew her before Regina George changed the course of her life back in middle school.

But that was exactly why she was suddenly so cautious over her words around her. She didn’t want to ruin all of those years together and lose the one person who genuinely seemed to love her for who she is. As far back as she could remember, [Y/N] was the one person she could always rely on without the constant worry of being talked about behind her back. She didn’t want to ruin that by assuming [Y/N] felt the same way about her that she did.

Eventually, after what felt like hours, Janis finally made it to Damian’s house. There, she practically fell out of her car with her phone tugged tightly against her chest. Quick footsteps beneath her was all she could hear as she more or less ran to the front door. Subconsciously, her arm raised far enough for the side of her fist to pound against the thick wood of the door now in front of her. Almost immediately after, it swung open, revealing Damian standing there with a conflicted look. Before he could say anything, however, Janis pushed her way past him and dashed into the kitchen. She froze in the doorway upon seeing Cady standing there as well, visibly confused at her desperation.

“Janis? What’s going on?” Speechless for a moment, Janis could only stare at her. At length, Damian stepped in and cleared his throat, moving to stand beside Cady. “Yeah,” he started, “I was trying to tell you that she’s here, but I guess you weren’t listening. Which, I mean, your face right now kinda confirms that for me.” Finally, the goth managed to blurt out a small, “oh,” before glancing at her feet to avoid eye contact with the redhead still glancing at her in puzzlement. “Am I interrupting something?”

A heavy sigh slipped past Damian’s lips as his hand shifted up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “No, but I think I’m not the only one here that’s “too gay to function.” Not sure if she even heard me at all before she hung up.” Finally, a look of understanding crossed Cady’s features. “Oh,” she mumbled as she once again turned to gaze at Janis. Although she was still averting her eyes from Cady’s focus, Janis managed to sneer up at Damian at his words.

Now worried she was in the way, Cady slipped past the two having a one-sided staredown and made her way over to the front door. “Well, I was just about to head out anyway.” Janis glanced up at this, looking slightly relieved. “But, uh…I’ll give you a call about our plan later on, Damian.” The exhausted teen, at the mention of his name, looked over at Cady as well and nodded. “Yeah, sounds good.”

With that, the redhead vanished through the door and began walking home. Only waiting a moment to make sure she was really gone, Janis quickly whipped her phone back up and powered it on, clicked over to her recent messages, and turned the phone for Damian to see. “Dude, I don’t know what to do. What the fuck do I even say after that? Do you think she knows how I feel about her? What if she does? I don’t want her to hate me for it. How would she react if she really did know? Would she–” Two hands landed heavily on her shoulders, halting her babbling and forcing her to look up and away from the screen.

“Janis, calm the hell down, holy shit.”

He huffed when she managed to settle a bit, then took the phone from her hand to read the screen properly. At the sight of the words [Y/N]’s had chosen, he chuckled and ran a hand down his face. “Good lord, I have no idea how you’re gonna survive if the two of you actually start dating.”

“That’s exactly why I came here, Damian: if I don’t ask her out soon, and if she starts talking like this all the time, I’m going to fucking die of embarrassment. Problem is, I have no idea how to ask her out without ruining everything. I need your help, man. Please.” Damian let out a laugh, crumbling whatever sense of confidence Janis may have had. “Oh my god, you and Cady are the bane of my existence today. How did I manage to not be busy the exact same day you both decided you needed relationship advice?” At his words, the goth tilted her head and hummed in confusion.

“That’s what I was trying to tell you over the phone: the reason Cady was here was because she was trying to figure out how to ask Aaron out on a date without Regina ripping her to shreds.” Janis’s brows shot up in surprise. “Oh, shit. Seriously? Is that what the phone call she mentioned was about?” Damian only nodded in reply, crossing his arms as he suppressed another groan. A moment passed where they only stood there in silence, and Damian was internally grateful his parents were at work as Janis had an existential crisis in the middle of their kitchen.

Finally, a smirk replaced his bothered grimace. “So, she wants to kiss you, huh? Wanna do that with her?” He teased, leaning down to nudge her shoulder and gain her attention again. Janis scoffed and shoved his arm away. Her head turned and lowered in an attempt to hide the growing shade of red on her face, though she wasn’t able to bite back the small grin that painted her lips. “You know damn well I do,” she murmured almost silently.

Damian snickered, cupping his ear and leaning toward her in a mocking manner. “What was that? Speak up–you know I’m selectively deaf.” Janis sighed, forcing herself to speak in a louder tone. “I said you know damn well I want to kiss her.” Upon finishing her statement, she stormed over to the kitchen table and planted herself in one of the chairs, crossing her arms on the tabletop and burying her face in them with a drawn out groan.

As she struggled to gather her thoughts, Damian moved to sit next to her, cackling softly to himself at seeing how uncharacteristically distressed his best friend was over a girl. “But it’s not just kissing you wanna do, is it?” He questioned after a moment. Janis shot up from her slouched position and gestured wildly with her hands. “Of course that’s not it! You know it isn’t! But I just…” She glanced down again, her fingers tangling themselves into her fringe and tugging harshly at the strands as she wordlessly went to war with herself, unsure of what to actually say.

“I just don’t wanna mess everything up,” she all but whispered in a broken confession, returning to her previous position of hiding her face in her arms.

The sound of a chair squeaking followed by something landing softly on the table and being slid her direction made her glance up again. Damian had slid her phone back over to her, though now it was face-down and powered off. “I know. I know you love her–pretty sure everyone does at this point. You’re terrible at hiding it.” Janis jabbed him in the arm again, making him chuckle. Upon seeing how distressed the goth was, he sighed, his voice taking on a much softer tone.

“But I do know that she’s one of those people too, even if that’s not what you wanna hear. Trust me, she feels the same. I’ve got quite the eye for these kinds of things.” Defeated, Janis sighed. She leaned back against the chair, dropping her head back to glare up at the ceiling. “Even if that were true, how the hell would I confess without sounding like some sort of loser? I don’t want her to think I’m a creep or something.”

Her friend hummed in thought at this, his eyes seemingly scanning everything and nothing in front of him at once. “Well, why don’t you make it count then? Make it special–your confession, I mean. Just add a whole bunch of stuff she likes. I mean, she loves going to the movies, eating out at restaurants, playing random sports and board games…there’s all kinds of stuff you could do.”

Janis remained silent for a while, prompting Damian to question if he said something wrong, or if she had even heard anything he said. Finally, right as he parted his lips to ask if she was alright, Janis slowly looked up with a growing smile, almost as if realizing something. “That’s a good idea,” she murmured. “Uh,” Damian started in reply, glancing around nervously as she pocketed her phone and began to stand. “Which one?”

“All of them.”

Over the span of another two and a half weeks, Damian managed to help Janis set up a plan where she could finally confess her feelings to [Y/N] and ask her out. The day had come that they agreed to put it into motion. Janis had never felt so nervous before. Not when she had a class presentation, not during any of the art contests she had participated in, and not even when she came back to school after leaving for the final half of her eighth grade year. She knew how to handle those levels of anxiety, but not this.

Never before had she confessed to someone–let alone someone she could actually picture a future with. In the past, when she found herself developing some sort of crush on another girl in her class, it was short lived. She never had to deal with the feeling long, which is why her feelings for [Y/N] became very evident after reflecting for a while.

In the days leading up to her confession, Janis more often than not found herself sketching [Y/N] on everything. She wasn’t able to focus during classes, so she’d pretend she was taking notes or working on an assignment to hide her inattention from the teacher. Even when [Y/N] wasn’t there for her to see, Janis was still doodling her from memory on anything and everything available to her.

Her sketchbook had been filled to the brim with illustrations of the girl before, but the closer she got to the end of the book, the more the pages seemed to be occupied by her face. No matter what she tried–playing video games, watching movies, going to work after school–she couldn’t get [Y/N] out of her head. More than usual, anyway. Tucked away in the corner of her  room, hidden by a thin white sheet, she kept a canvas propped up on her favorite easel. Underneath the cover lay a portrait of [Y/N] she had spent weeks on, always finding another flaw that had her repainting over the dried, flaking pigment.

In her mind, Janis could picture the girl so easily. She could recall every little marking, whether it be a scar or a freckle of some kind, it was so vivid. On her canvas and on paper, however, she just couldn’t seem to get it right. She wanted the illustrations and paintings she made of her to be perfect because that’s how she saw her.

That’s how she had always seen her.

It felt nice thinking about someone she loved so much, but it also worsened her anxiety for her upcoming plans.

She waited until school had been let out for a holiday toward the end of the second semester to carry them out. It would allow for her to set up an outdoor date that would hopefully take place past the beginning of her and Damian’s ideas, as well as give her time off from both school and work.

After making sure [Y/N] was ready for the day, Janis let her know she was headed in her direction to pick her up. The entire drive there, everything about her was shaky, including her breathing. By the time she arrived, her mind was numb and her limbs were tingling. She barely managed to type out a coherent message to let the girl know she was there. Her breathing only got worse once [Y/N] was in the car with her, sat so close to Janis, yet so far away somehow. When she greeted her, her voice cracked and shook, furthering her embarrassment. [Y/N] giggled at her, so she looked down. “God, fuck my voice,” she mumbled.

Again, [Y/N] chuckled, but planted her hand gently on the goth’s shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze. “Hey, I don’t know why you’re getting so flustered about it. Do you not remember when we first met back in elementary school? You know. When I was crying?” Janis sat up a little straighter and smirked. “Because another kid ate one of your dino nuggets during snack time? Yeah, I remember that. Squeakiest voice I’ve ever heard, even to this day.” [Y/N] faked a gasp and a look of offense, bringing her free hand to her chest in an exaggerated manner. “How dare you say that when Karen Smith exists in the same town as us?”

Finally, Janis snickered at her, turning back to the wheel and shifting her gear into drive. “Fair point,” she replied. She leaned over a bit. “You’re definitely the runner up, though.” A scoff and a playful shove was what she was greeted with in reply, prompting her to finally let out a proper laugh. Her smile visibly faltered for just a moment at the feeling of [Y/N]’s hand sliding off of her shoulder a moment later and moving back to rest in her lap in the passenger seat.

“So, what all are we doing today?” At this, Janis’s anxiety spiked once again. “Well, I thought we could go see a movie and then go eat somewhere before I show you the surprise I have for you.”

[Y/N] leaned over a bit, drawing out a long “oooh” with a dorky grin. “What’s the surprise?” Janis laughed and gently pushed her back, even though she didn’t want to. “If I told you the surprise, then it wouldn’t be a surprise.” Again, the girl in the passenger seat faked a look of hurt, though it was quickly replaced with a smirk. “Okay, okay, fine. Fair enough.”

As Janis began leading the car in the direction of the nearest movie theater, [Y/N] slipped her phone out from her back pocket and began typing away and swiping through her apps. Unintentionally, Janis continued to glance over at her and her screen periodically, some unknown feeling bubbling up underneath her skin and causing her throat to fall dry. Her hand slipped to the side to turn the AC’s settings up higher, then drove upwards to run down her face as she sighed. Whatever it was that she was feeling was making her burn up.

[Y/N]’s attention was drawn to Janis’s motions, her head perking up and turning in her direction. “You good?” The goth only nodded, desperately trying to scrounge up some sort of excuse as to why she was suddenly far more flustered than she previously was mere moments ago. “Yeah, I just…I’m really hoping you’ll like the surprise when we get to it. I worked really hard on it.” A small pause. “Oh.” Another pause, one that had Janis fighting the urge to scratch or pick at something with her fidgety hands.

“I’m sure it’ll be amazing, Jan. You don’t need to worry about anything.”

With a bit of force, Janis managed to convince her lungs to work properly again. She sucked in a deep breath, trying to hide her struggle in the motion, and let it slip back out in the form of a heavy sigh. “Yeah, okay,” she replied softly. Thankfully, before things could grow even more awkward, Janis pulled into the parking lot of the movie theater. She switched the engine off and tucked her keys away in one of the pockets of her black, baggy cargo pants. “Well, I guess we should get inside if we wanna get through the long ass line for concessions,” she explained as she pushed her door open and slipped out of the car.

Without thinking too much about it, Janis sped over to the passenger side and tugged the door open for [Y/N], who glanced up at her with a confused stare. She quickly chuckled, however, and stepped out, moving over far enough for Janis to close the door again and lock the car. “Such a gentlewoman,” she teased, prompting the goth’s pale face to flush red again. She still laughed, even through her slight embarrassment, and rolled her eyes. “Whatever. You’re welcome.”

“Thanks,” came her reply, though it was accompanied by a small bump against her shoulder. She had turned to walk towards the entrance, but [Y/N] had almost immediately caught up with her and nudged her arm with her own. Janis grinned at her and double checked that her car was locked before they got too far. As she stuffed her hands into her front pockets, Janis found herself glancing around at the other people littering the street nearby.

She subconsciously let her teeth hook against her bottom lip as she spotted the couples walking in and out of the building, each one leaning against each other and sharing light conversation or cracking jokes. Her fingers bent upwards, allowing her to toy with her rings as she managed to tear her eyes away from a pair sharing a quick kiss and focus on the ground in front of her. For just a moment, her eyes glimpsed over at [Y/N], who was squinting to try and read the movie posters lined up on the wall still halfway across the parking lot.

Janis couldn’t bite back her small smirk at her focused expression, though she let her gaze drop back down to continue watching her feet leading her forward. Too caught up in her thoughts, Janis let out a startled gasp when she felt two arms wrap themselves around her left one. One hooked around her elbow, the other sliding down so a hand could rest on her forearm. She turned her head to face who had clutched onto her, her cheeks and ears bursting with color as [Y/N] stepped closer and beamed up at her. “A-Ah, you okay?” Was all she could manage to ask between stuttering breaths.

“Yeah, I just like your jackets. They’re cozy, even if I’m not the one wearing them. Like, this sleeve?” [Y/N] gently patted the section of Janis’s sleeve covering her bicep to clarify, making the other girl jump, “it’s soft. Not sure how. Looks really rough, but it’s not.” She giggled to herself for a second. “Kinda like you.”

A darker shade of crimson dusted Janis’s already reddened face. “What?” [Y/N] smirked at her reaction. “Well, I mean, a lot of people are scared of you–specifically the freshmen–but I’m pretty sure it’s just because of your style. You’re really good with comebacks too, and even when they’re mean, they’re still funny as fuck. I think people are just afraid to confront you because they know you’ll destroy them. But you’re actually the sweetest person I know. And you’re really cool. I don’t think you and I have ever really gotten into an actual argument, but I also think it’s because you make sure to listen to me and hear me out.

“Most of the time. Unless you’re trying to lecture me on my gaming skills.” Janis smiled at her last statement, though her heart hammered against her ribs for the small speech before. She thinks I’m sweet? And cool? Unintentionally, she tuned out the majority of what the conversation was about as they both headed inside, the wide, sheepish grin never leaving her lips.

They got their tickets checked, stepped into line, got their drinks and snacks, then headed to the room playing the movie they were there for. As they sat in their seats toward the back of the room, Janis finally felt her spiked nerves subsiding a bit, realizing they could both focus on the movie and avoid having to make awkward conversation.

She didn’t pay attention to most of the film. Although her anxiety had calmed, it was certainly still there. Each time she thought of what she had planned next, another wave of trembling shot through her body. Roughly halfway through, [Y/N] shivered, shifted in her seat, and grumbled something under her breath, gaining Janis’s attention. Sensing eyes now on her, [Y/N] made eye contact and sent a nervous smile in her direction. “Sorry, I just keep forgetting how cold this damned theater is.”

Janis hummed, and almost instantly, after putting her box of small chocolates down, she slid her jacket from her arms. She leaned over a bit, motioning for [Y/N] to lean forward. When she did, the goth dropped the jacket gently on her shoulders and pulled it around her a bit before moving to sit properly in her chair again. She fought the urge to glance back over at [Y/N], but from the corner of her eye, she could see the girl tug the jacket snug around her frame. She let out a gentle sigh at the warmth.

Janis cracked a smile without realizing. She picked her overpriced sweets back up and pulled another one from the box, popping it in her mouth before scooching over enough to take a sip from her soda. For the remainder of the movie, the two sat in silence, simply enjoying each other’s presence. When the film ended and the lights came on, they got up and wordlessly left the theater. Once they were in the car, Janis finally fully looked over at [Y/N], sucking in a breath at the sight of the jacket now fully on her.

Sometime during the ending, [Y/N] had ultimately slipped her arms into the sleeves to wear it properly. Janis beamed, feeling a strange sense of pride. “So,” [Y/N] chirped, snapping her out of her trance. “Which restaurant are we going to?”

Oh, right. Her plans.

Janis, to distract herself momentarily, turned her car on and began the journey to the restaurant she had made a reservation at prior to the movie. She checked the time before answering. “Ah, it’s that new Italian place down by the mall.” “Oh, cool! Have you heard if it’s good?” “Yeah, it’s got a lot of good reviews online. It was also honestly the only place I could find that the two of us haven’t both been to.” [Y/N] laughed gently. “Yeah, but who knew we’d end up being drawn to so many different places here?”

The time at the restaurant, much like the theater, was hard to pay attention to for Janis. Throughout the meal, even when she didn’t realize it, she could be caught practically staring at [Y/N] as they both ate their dishes. She managed to focus enough to answer any questions thrown her way and keep the conversation going, but had anyone asked what they talked about, she wouldn’t be able to answer.

By the time they had made it back to the car, [Y/N] was able to tell something was wrong. As soon as the car started and Janis pulled out onto the road to head toward her next plan, [Y/N] tapped her arm to get her attention. A hum slipped from the goth to show she had acknowledged the touch, though she kept her eyes on the road. “Are you alright? You’ve been really…quiet. Like, all day.”

Shit.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m still just really nervous about the whole surprise thing. Which…is where we’re going now.”

After she pulled up to an empty parking lot, Janis took a breath, practically freezing in her seat as [Y/N] slowly got out of the car. A moment or so later, at the sound of a knock on her window, the goth finally pulled her attention away from the steering wheel to find [Y/N] standing there, confused. Finally, she managed to pry herself out of the driver’s seat and close the door. She locked the car with trembling hands before wordlessly walking in a random direction. With a small squeak of surprise, [Y/N] jogged to catch up with her, immediately questioning where she was headed.

“Oh, right,” Janis muttered, glancing up at the now concerned girl for just a second. She turned around to face where she was walking again. “Sorry, I’m just…I’m leading you to where the surprise is, I just forgot to say that somehow.” “Oh.”

Too anxious, Janis couldn’t force herself to blurt anything out, too afraid of making small talk as they headed to where her source of anxiety was originating from. The entirety of the walk, [Y/N] trailed behind her and quickly told herself to just look around at the scenery. They had stopped at some kind of large park, though the part they were headed toward looked more like the entrance of the woods. The sight at the darker shade under the trees caused her nerves to spike, though she calmed down when Janis finally managed to mumble a really soft–almost inaudible–“we’re almost there.”

The closer they got to the wooded part of the field, the more concerned and puzzled [Y/N] grew. Finally, just as she was ready to ask if they were lost, or if Janis planned on killing her–which in her mind made sense, considering the goth had started acting weird in the past hour–Janis sighed and stepped to the side. She lifted and waved her arm, motioning toward a small setup partially in the shade. “We’re here.”

[Y/N] turned her focus to the setup, which made her gasp softly. It was a classic picnic scene: a red and white checkered blanket laid out neatly underneath a large oak tree, a small woven basket weighing one of the corners down, and a cooler for the drinks. However, a decently sized gift was wrapped up and was propped up against the bark. “Surprise,” Janis murmured, snapping [Y/N] out of her surprised trance.

“Oh, Janis,” she whispered. “It’s beautiful.” Janis seemed surprised at her words, a small smile finally painting her lips again. “Really? I figured you’d find it cliche or something.” [Y/N] chuckled and gently nudged the goth’s shoulder. “I mean, you know I love a good cliche. It’s not a bad thing.”

After sharing an awkward grin, the two of them headed over to the blanket and sat down. They picked a few snacks from the basket on the corner, as well as a drink from the cooler, then ate slowly as they did their best to strike up a normal conversation. This worked for a very short amount of time, but [Y/N] eventually gave in and finally asked what it was all for, to which Janis grew nervous all over again.

She tried to find a way to segway smoothly into her confession, but eventually realized there was no point in trying to appear confident. She had blown that long ago. With a heavy sigh of defeat, she stared down at her lap, fiddling with the tab of her soda can to pull her attention away from the set of eyes on her. “Okay, I can’t keep this up anymore,” she began.

“I brought you here because I–” She swallowed hard and shut her eyes. It was just a confession. How hard could it possibly be?

“I brought you here, and did everything else today, to tell you that I really like you. Like, I’m in love with you. A-And I wanted to bring you here to ask you to be my girlfriend.” A moment passed where the two just sat in silence, and although she didn’t want to, Janis finally managed to open her eyes again to glance up at [Y/N]. She worried she had been completely ignored, but she mainly feared she was about to be made fun of by the one girl she actually had serious feelings for.

Instead, she was greeted with the sight of [Y/N] blushing for the first time that evening, a small smile cracked across her lips. “Uh,” the goth stuttered. “It’s fine if you say no. When I told Damian about wanting to ask you out, he said I should make the whole thing special, so…here we are.” More silence, though Janis couldn’t tell that it was only there because [Y/N] couldn’t find the right words to express how she felt. After what felt like a whole hour to her, Janis finally sighed and put her drink down, readying herself to stand up. “This was a mistake, wasn’t it?”

As she began to lift herself off the blanket beneath her, a hand grasped her wrist, halting her movements and prompting her to sit down again. “No, I’m sorry, Jan! It wasn’t a mistake, I just…I never thought you’d actually ask.”

Janis could only gawk at her, mouth agape. “Huh?”

[Y/N] giggled at her reaction. “I would love to be your girlfriend, Janis.”

More laughter stemmed from Janis sitting there, purely dumbfounded as she visibly tried to process the words. Finally, a bright smile graced her lips, one wider than ever before. An excited glimmer shone in her eyes. “Wait, really? You would?” “Yeah, of course!”

Janis finally let out a laugh, then a sigh as she shifted to fall over and let her head land in [Y/N]’s lap. “Oh thank fucking god,” she blurted, causing the girl to chuckle and gaze down at her in slight bewilderment. “I’m so tired. I spent so much time planning this whole thing out. I wanted things to be perfect. I didn’t know you were going to say yes like it was the most obvious thing on earth.” They shared a laugh, the previously thick tension finally lifting.

“Yeah, no, I was always gonna say yes. But don’t worry, I really loved everything we did today. Uh, well, except when you were leading me to the woods and started acting weird. Thought I was about to be wiped from this planet.” Janis snickered again. “Nah, I wouldn’t do that to you.” She grinned softly up at her, shifting to lean against [Y/N]’s stomach. “But I am glad you liked everything today. That’s a relief.”

[Y/N] beamed wider and nodded. She drove her free hand upwards to let her fingers rake through the goth’s dark strands, causing her to let her eyes to flutter shut and lean into the touch. They stayed like that for a while, but [Y/N] eventually had a small reminder pop into her head. “Oh, what’s the box against the tree for by the way?”

Janis’s eyes shot open again, a deep crimson red dusting her cheeks. “Ah, well…” She hesitantly sat up and stood long enough to pick up the present and hand it to [Y/N]. She sat back down next to her and watched as she carefully peeled open the gift. Once it was mostly torn away, [Y/N] gasped gently at the sight of a canvas with a portrait of her, glazed over nicely with Janis’s signature down in the bottom left corner, right next to a small note.

To the one person who has always seen the best in me and has never treated me poorly. I hope this painting does you justice.

Silently waiting for a response, Janis kept glancing over between the portrait and [Y/N], trying to gauge her reaction. When she got nothing, the overly anxious girl cleared her throat. “Do you…like it?” Finally, [Y/N] turned to face her. “Are you kidding? I fucking love it,” was her reply. Janis huffed out a sigh of relief from the reassurance and smirked, leaning against the other girl’s shoulder and closing her eyes again. “Jesus Christ, another huge relief. I love you so much.”

Softly, [Y/N] nuzzled her head against Janis’s, slipping one hand from the partially unwrapped canvas to lift it and cup the girl’s cheek, her fingertips lightly grazing her raven hair.

“I love you too.”

Hurt What's Mine

[Shadow of the Tomb Raider] Lara Croft x Female Reader

Word Count: 8.05k

Proofread: No

Content Warnings: Language, mentions of blood, heavy descriptions of gore and death, hospitalization, brief mention of medication

Categories:

Angst Fluff Mix

One-Shot Preference Headcanon

[A/N]: Thank you for 170+ followers! I've got a couple of people who have requested things through my inbox, and I'm hoping I'll be able to answer them soon! I will be open to requests soon, but there are a few more characters I want to write for ahead of time so it's easier to get an idea of what fandoms I'm open to. If you sent in a request, thank you! Once I've posted for a bit longer, I'll upload the masterlist I've made as well as the rules for requesting, then I'll answer requests!

[A/N] #2: If you do have a request that you'd like me to write in the future, please let me know! I'll get to it eventually, things are just hectic right now. Thank you for reading!

Enjoy!

Amongst the loud snapping of twigs combined with the rustling of the leaves overhead, softened chatter could be heard throughout the entrance to the forest. The sky, which had been painted warm shades of red and orange mere moments before, had grown murky with hues of purple and black. Small stars illuminated the sky as it grew darker, bright pools of light poking through the inky atmosphere to aid the moon in flooding the landscape with a soft glow. In accompaniment with the darkness seemingly swallowing up the woodland area that Lara and [Y/N] wandered into, a harsh breeze rushed through the air.

As the two walked deeper into the forest, Lara made sure to reach over when coming across drywood and break it free from the ground, tucking it under her arm. After seeing her do this, [Y/N] mirrored her actions and began to gather wood as well. The two had decided they’d head into the nearby forest to gather kindling for the fire they planned to build back at camp. There, Jonah was waiting, sorting through his supply of herbs and a small flask of water he’d said he would use to stir up a broth of sorts that would help all three stay warm for the night. The only problem being there was no fuel for a fire nearby, so both women volunteered to scavenge for some together.

It had taken quite a while to make it to the woodland area safely, but the conversation they had struck up with each other managed to keep the journey bearable. Thankfully, Lara had remembered to snatch her makeshift machete before heading out. Using the sharpest part of the rusted blade, she sliced through the brush that obstructed their path, allowing them to meander forward with a partial trail behind them.

Soon enough, neither of them were able to carry more of the drywood they came across. With a huff, Lara spun on her heel and jutted her chin toward the path she had made. “We should head back. We can always come back later if we need to gather more.” [Y/N] nodded, trailing behind the brunette as she led the way. A few minutes passed in silence, both women focused on not tripping over the loose roots or pebbles that littered the dampened blades of grass. Ultimately, as they neared the halfway point of the path, [Y/N] decided to break the silence.

“God, I’m glad we haven’t had any run-ins with Trinity. Those guys are a huge pain in the ass,” she complained. At her words, the corners of Lara’s lips perked up into an amused smirk. “Yeah, they are. We still need to keep our guard up, though. There weren’t any traces of them following us here, but that’s been the case the last couple of times as well. They’ve got the wrong motives, but they’re clever, and they know how to handle stealth operations.”

A grimace painted [Y/N]’s features as she nodded in response. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.” Silence once again fell upon them, allowing their senses to return to the sound of their own footsteps beneath them as they staggered ahead. While they recalled the way they came from, they struck up another conversation with one another, trying to keep the mood light in the eeriness that made itself known between the towering trees. It seemed to work–both felt more at ease as they chatted away. Merely a moment seemed to pass, however, before a loud clamp echoed throughout the area, followed by a ticking and whirring noise nearby.

Before either had time to react and understand what had happened, Lara flew backward with a holler and collapsed onto the ground. She was yanked forward once she made contact with the soil. The whirring noise returned, louder this time, and she was soon dangling high in the air by her foot. She groaned, her ears ringing and vision blurry from the way her head had bashed against the floor. Her eyes were pinched tightly shut, though her hand instinctively reached for her belt to find her gun.

Squinting and blinking her eyes rapidly, Lara managed to clear her view. All at once, she could make out what had happened. Just a few feet away, [Y/N]’s leg had been caught in a similar trap, but she wasn’t conscious enough to try and escape. Lara’s arm whipped forward to take aim, watching with a newfound sense of terror as a horde of shielded soldiers, clad in black, swarmed forward to the two. Even as she struggled to steady the hand that she gripped the gun harshly with, Lara began to fire warning shots, striking several of the soldiers and watching them plummet to the ground in waves.

A few that hadn’t been shot dashed toward [Y/N] and took hold of her limp arms. They hollered at each other to get her down, using her as some sort of human shield to avoid being killed as well. Upon seeing them grab the unconscious girl, the blood pumping from adrenaline underneath Lara’s skin lit aflame with fury and a desire to defend. Her aim became far more accurate, more fatalities becoming visible as she fired away at them, a wolf’s snarl lacing her words as she bellowed at them to leave her alone.

She knew she just needed to get enough of them down so she could break free from the pulley that tightened the rope around her ankle to a painful degree. If she could do that, she could protect [Y/N] and help her flee. A false spark of hope flushed through her veins as she noticed she had cleared most of the squad, the lie of it evident as her clip ran empty and more men emerged from the distance. She cursed at herself, her hands unsteadily flying back up to her belt to find another magazine and reload. As she struggled with fiddling her pack open to search, she failed to register the sound of thundering footsteps nearing her from behind.

Finally, she pulled a clip free with a small huff of relief. She let her empty mag drop to the ground, flicked upward with the new one to reload, then cocked the hammer back before taking aim. A single bullet fired from the barrel, and everything went black.

Everything seemed to come back at once–every sense flowing forward and overwhelming Lara’s mind. A muffled groan slipped past her lips as she managed to lift her head. Entirely unaware of her bearings, her eyes flitted around in confusion, unable to see with her eyes wide open. She jerked her arms forward, hoping to grab hold of whatever fabric covered her face, only to feel cold steel dig harshly into the skin on her wrists. She hissed in pain, wriggling for a moment as she tried to understand what had happened.

Her focus returned to what she could feel. She had been chained to something, though it was hard to make out exactly what it was. Against her back, she could feel jagged wood scratching at her scarred skin each time she moved. Her arms encircled whatever it was she was pinned up on. Piecing things together, she figured she had been cuffed to a wooden beam somewhere. That didn’t explain where she was, though. Aside from the village she and the others had passed through once they arrived, there were no structures of any kind as far as she could tell. Had one of the villagers turned and taken her hostage?

She could feel the frigid grated steel beneath her, which confirmed she had to be somewhere else. The ground in the homes of the village had been purely dirt and tattered cloth.

Then where the hell was she?

What had happened before she blacked out?

“Oh, look who’s up from her nap,” a booming voice called out, pulling Lara from her thoughts. Her head shot up, a quick yelp of pain greeting her as her head throbbed from the sudden motion. “Who the hell are you? Where am I? Where’s [Y/N]?” She couldn’t recall what she had been through beforehand, though some part of her told her she needed to defend herself regardless. A deep chuckle rumbled nearby before the owner of the previous voice stepped closer. Lara braced herself for a hit, fighting back a flinch when gloved fingers gripped the top of what had been obstructing her view and tugged upward.

She squinted with a hiss as the overhead lights flashed their way into her eyes, effectively blinding her for a moment. As her vision cleared and adjusted, she jerked her head to the side to face whoever had granted her the ability to see again. A moment hardly passed before her face contorted with anger: her brows furrowed tightly together, practically knitting themselves as one, her jaw clenching as her teeth ground painfully against each other.

“Who the fuck are you?” She snapped. Quickly, her outrage completely replaced the feeling of distress, only worsening when her gaze flickered down to see Trinity’s emblem stitched into the man’s tactical vest. He laughed, tossing the woven bag that had been tied around her head to the side. “You don’t need to know who I am, but I certainly know who you are.” He grinned, then reached behind Lara to pick something up from behind the pillar. Briefly after, he leaned back again, dangling her tactical belt tauntingly in front of her, still fully equipped with all of her weapons.

Her eyes widened a fraction at the sight, instinctively flying down to find and confirm that she had indeed been stripped of her only means of defense in this position. Immediately, she knew she needed to free herself. With the methods she had been taught after tussling with offenders before, she knew she could easily wrestle this man to the ground and overpower him. With her arms restrained, however, she could only fight back at an infuriatingly close range.

He seemed to notice the stress that had returned to Lara’s mind, letting out another cackle at her misfortune. He stood, twisting his torso far enough to hurl the belt over the railing. As he made his way over to squat in front of her again, she took this opportunity to look around. She had been right: she was chained to a wooden support beam, and she was seated against steel. Through the holes in the grated plates, she could see she was far up off the ground, at least three or four stories high.

Looking up, she could see layers of other platforms above, towering to an ungodly height. Dropping her gaze back down, the platform she was on curved around a circular building just behind her, and ahead of her, a long metal bridge stretched out to connect to an identical structure. As her eyes focused in on a figure across the platform, her blood ran cold, wishing she hadn’t recognized what was happening.

Everything that had happened before she ended up here came flooding back. The forest, the traps, the soldiers, everything. Now separated, [Y/N] was similarly cuffed to a pillar. Her binds seemed tighter, red lines already formed on her wrists as though she had been struggling against them for a while. For the first time since making it to the town, Lara felt genuine fear. Had they already hurt [Y/N]? Had they forced her to give away where Jonah was?

“[Y/N]!”

“Ah, so you noticed,” the man voiced, bringing her attention back to him. Shakily, she lifted her head, She screamed at herself, willing her voice into intimidation. “Let her go. She has nothing to do with this.” Internally, she cursed at the way her voice wavered and cracked.

The man grinned devilishly, shaking his head. “You don’t get it, do you? The moment you brought her here, you forced her to be a part of this. Like it or not, she has everything to do with this.” He leaned forward, blocking her view of [Y/N] and forcing her to look him in the eye. “It’s your fault.” Bringing his hand to his chin, he glanced up and mockingly pretended to think. “I suppose the saying, “like father like daughter,” is true after all. Wouldn’t you say so?”

At the mere mention of her father, a concoction of emotions bubbled beneath the surface of Lara’s skin. Even so, she forced her expression to remain stern. “Don’t you fucking talk about him.” Once again, she was met with a laugh.

A soldier that had been stationed nearby stepped closer to the two, concern laced in his tone. “Sir, shouldn’t we be careful? She’s taken out half of our men already, and most of it was entirely on her own.” The man in front of Lara rolled his eyes and stood, giving a small shrug. “Relax, I’m just having a bit of fun. There’s nothing she can do like this,” he gestured toward her. “With respect,” the soldier started, “she’s gotten out of tougher situations. Maybe we should–”

In an instant, the man, who Lara assumed was the captain at this point, whipped his gun from its holster on his hip and stood. He flicked his arm upward and pointed the barrel directly against the soldier’s forehead, prompting him to freeze. “I’ll fucking take care of it, you got it? All I’m gonna do is get her to tell me a few things, then we’ll blow both of their brains out, then be on our way. Stop me like that again, and the first round will go through your thick skull. Understand?”

Quickly, the soldier nodded and stepped back to his station. “Yes, sir.”

The captain then tucked his gun away. He turned and made a motion with his head to the group across the bridge. Lara glanced behind him to see what was happening, only to panic further as they crouched beside [Y/N], who flinched away at their touch. “Don’t touch her!” She screamed, thrashing violently against her restraints.

“Oh, don’t worry,” the captain teased, crouching down in front of her again to look her in the eye. “As long as you answer some questions, we won’t hurt her anymore.” Anymore. That word bounced through Lara’s head as she barely managed to notice that [Y/N]’s skin was littered with bruises and cuts. She swallowed hard, glaring at him. “What do you want? What questions?” He again acted as though he was deep in thought. “Well, for starters, you could tell me where the artifact you're looking for is.”

She scoffed. “So what? You can use it to wipe out humanity? Like you tried to do with the Divine Source?” The captain forced a smile. His hand lifted from his side and made a motion toward the group behind him. Lara watched, horrified, as one soldier used all his strength to kick [Y/N] in the stomach, another grabbing a fistful of her hair and slamming her head back against the pillar. She cried out in pain, desperately trying to free herself.

“Like I said, tell me what I want to know, and she won’t get hurt.”

Lara practically growled at him when she spoke. She ordered him to call the group back, threatening to make his death hell if he didn’t comply. “What do you think you can do? Can’t exactly kill me while you’re stuck here.” She scowled, her fingertips tapping at the chains in search of the padlock. Her arm shimmied a bit, allowing one of her hairpins to slip from the cuff of her sleeve and into her hand that she kept tucked away for situations exactly like this.

As she fiddled with trying to find the padlock, the captain continued to hound her with questions.

“Where’s your camp? I know you brought someone else here too.” She shuddered at the thought of Jonah being dragged into this as well. “I don’t know. I don’t even know where the hell I am, and you expect me to remember how to get back?” Another motion was made, prompting another harsh punishment to be given to [Y/N]. Lara shouted her name, begging her to hold on and promising she’ll get the two of them out.

The captain scoffed and crossed his arms. “Are you really not grasping what I’ve said? Answers for me means less pain for her.” Panicked, Lara thrashed again, her hands trembling as they continued their search. “I’m trying! But you aren’t giving me questions I can answer!” It was hard to mask her relief when her fingers finally found the padlock, though she instead focused on wriggling the bobby pin into the lock. “Well,” the captain huffed, standing again and slipping his gun from his belt. “I think I know something that might trigger your memory.”

At that, he turned and began walking toward [Y/N], wordlessly ordering the group of soldiers to back away. “No, don’t hurt her!” Lara was practically screaming at her hands to still, and with another brief moment, she finally managed to pick the lock, wrestling her arms free from the chains and stumbling as she stood. Without an ounce of hesitation, she lunged forward toward the captain, grabbing hold of him and trying to keep him away. He hollered in surprise, reaching back to claw at her and get a grasp. “Get off of me, you bitch!”

The team of soldiers that had been abusing [Y/N] only a mere moment before were now hurtling toward her. With a bit of a struggle, three of the soldiers managed to pry her off of him, throwing her back before forcefully pinning her against the pillar yet again. She fought against them, screaming for them to let her go. The captain ahead grumbled and stared her down for a moment, though he was quick to turn and walk toward [Y/N] again.

As Lara thrashed against the soldiers holding her down, the head of the team reached up toward a sheath against his hip, his gun having been smacked out of his hand and over the ledge from Lara’s outburst. Something felt as though it were burning in her mind, growing hotter and hotter as the captain closed the space between him and [Y/N]. She couldn’t let Trinity take another person she loved away from her. She wouldn’t allow it.

Hardly managing to remember her training, she turned and lunged her torso forward, using all of the momentum to headbut the soldier grasping her right arm in the face. He howled in pain, letting her go and falling backward. She then turned to the man holding her left shoulder. In the blink of an eye, she whipped her arm in a circular motion, gripping his wrist and forcing his arm to twist until he let go. Just as quickly, she shuffled forward and kicked the third soldier square in the chest, effectively knocking the wind out of his lungs.

Before she could stand, two more men sprinted forward and blocked her path, one of them managing to land a few rough kicks to her face and head. She hooked her arm beneath the back of his leg, jolting up to stand and flipping him backward. The second soldier struggled to free his rifle from the band on his back. By the time he managed to try and aim at her, her forearm flew sideways and struck his wrist, the impact catching him off guard and causing him to drop his weapon. Lara then leapt forward and gripped the straps of his tactical vest. She spun around to gain more force before driving him around again and launching him over the railing, not bothering to watch as he plummeted toward the ground countless meters below.

She turned, determined to get to the captain, but froze in place. Still so far away, he had freed [Y/N] of restraints, knowing she wouldn’t have been able to fight back. He pinned her against the platform, his knees planting themselves on either side of her hips as he drove his knife down into her stomach. Lara watched as [Y/N] tried to gasp for air, only to choke and let out a silent scream.

She felt everything grow heavy, ready to give into the temptation to drop to the ground. An inhumane level of fury coursed through her veins, and soon she found herself running forward at full speed, no longer in control of her body.

The neared the captain in only a few seconds, leaping from the ground and thrusting her arms forward. She tackled him off of [Y/N]’s writhing body and ripped the blade from his hand, dropping it and instead using her fists to beat any part of him she could see. Hit after hit, punch after punch, a new bruise formed on his skin, thinner sections splitting open into gashes. His blood seemed to all pool together beneath his head.

Lara let out a yell with each strike made against his skill. She lost count of the amount of times her knuckles made contact with the swollen form beneath her, not even noticing that her knuckles had begun to tear open and bleed from the sheer force alone. As his arms and legs fell limp against his sides, Lara’s punches came to a stop. Her bloodied hand reached over and grasped the handle of the knife, knuckles white from the tightness as she lifted the blade above her head.

Instantly, she plunged the knife down, listening with a sick joy as the thin metal ripped through layers of skin and organ, cracking through parts of his ribs. Mirroring what [Y/N] had done, the captain hopelessly tried to gasp for breath, instead wheezing and sputtering while his hands weakly scratched at her arms. Only for a moment, she kept the knife there. Before she could watch the life leave his eyes, she drew the blade out and immediately thrusted it down into his jugular with an equal force.

Her hands let go of the handle and dropped to land at her sides. She stared down, gleefully studying the way the captain clutched at his throat, a thick puddle of blood erupting from his mouth and trickling down his cheeks and jaw, disappearing into his hairline and accumulating with the crimson red under his trembling form. Glaring down at him with dull eyes, she lazily tugged the rifle from his back, forcing herself to stand and turn around.

She hadn’t heard the group of soldiers thundering up the stairs, but she had apparently sensed it. Effortlessly, she lifted the rifle and took aim, crouching down and firing away as the men made their way up one by one. By the time the team died out, she heard the gun click. Her gaze bored down at the rifle, realizing she had burned through the ammo. With a grunt of disapproval, she discarded the gun, then ripped another one away from a nearby lifeless body. She used that rifle to finish off the squad, blankly staring ahead after lowering the gun.

As her mind clouded over, taking in the scene before her, she tossed the gun to the side, straining to hear as it clattered against the steel platform. A bloodbath. That was the only way she could possibly describe it. Piles of bodies across such a small space, silver metal now stained red from blood and black from gunpowder. Lifeless eyes of the fallen seemed to watch her as she lifted her hands, taking in the way blood coated her skin. She wasn’t sure how much of it was hers and how much of it was the captain’s. She paid it no mind, instead rotating her hands to examine her knuckles. She had most definitely broken a few, if not all, of them,

Had she actually done all of this?

Nothing felt real.

The sudden sound of harsh coughing broke her out of her trance, forcing her attention toward the source. She scrambled over to [Y/N]’s side, holding her head up as she processed just how badly she had been hurt. Adding onto the gaping wound in her torso, countless bruises and cuts peppered every exposed inch of skin. The back of her head had been dripping blood from being hammered into the wooden beam. Lara gasped and frantically helped her prop her head up to prevent choking on her blood, her eyes scanning the surrounding area for something to help stop the bleeding. She grimaced when [Y/N] whimpered from the way she stretched over to grab a torn uniform.

Thinking on her feet, she slid to the wall of the base and leaned the wounded girl against it, apologizing tearfully each time she yelped in pain. After tearing the uniform into a thinner piece, she began stuffing part of the wound, earning more cries. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she whispered, finally using the rest of the cloth to ball it up. “This is going to hurt, but I need you to trust me.”

Before [Y/N] even opened her eyes, Lara forced her hand downward, applying an immense amount of both pressure and pain to the wound. At this, [Y/N] screamed in agony, her eyes beginning to roll back as her breaths quickened. Lara cupped her jaw and shifted forward. “[Y/N]? No, [Y/N], I need you to stay with me, okay? Keep your eyes open! Everything’s going to be okay, I promise. Stay with me,” she said, struggling to keep her voice steady.

“[Y/N], please, I can’t lose you. Not like this. Keep your eyes open–that’s all I need you to do!” Her words fell upon deaf ears, no matter how desperate they became. Before Lara could beg for her to listen again, [Y/N]’s head drooped down, her body now completely limp.

“[Y/N]?” Lara whimpered, shaking the unconscious girl’s head as a silent plea. When no response came from the motion, the Croft felt her tears beginning to spill, only being able to whisper “no” repeatedly. Her hand, the one that had been holding up the woman’s head, slid down to check for a pulse. She gasped softly when she found it, though realized she had to act quickly from how weak it was. “Shit,” she blurted, once again examining her surroundings. That bastard had thrown her radio over the railing with her weapons. There was no way she could contact Jonah without alerting any other potential Trinity bases of where they were. One look down at [Y/N], however, forced her to take that risk.

She stood and quickly rushed over to the nearby bodies, her calloused, bloodied hands desperately searching their equipment for a radio of sorts. She cursed with each failed search, though lit up only a fraction once she found one. Quickly, she ran to sit by [Y/N]’s side again, holding her up and pulling her close, keeping an eye on her as she sent out a message.

“Jonah? Jonah, are you there? Can you hear me? I need your help: [Y/N]’s bleeding out!”

She released the button, only earning static in response. Her eyes shot back to the woman beside her, her only shimmer of hope dimming immediately. Her finger clicked down again, lifting it closer to speak into it once more.

“Jonah, I need you here! Jonah, please, can you hear me?”

A choked sob erupted unwillingly from her throat. She felt like curling into herself and breaking right there. Now hunched over, she clutched the radio tightly against her chest, grasping a handful of her hair as she tried to come up with another plan. All she could bring herself to do for a moment was weep, terrified of losing the woman propped up by her side.

Her mind cleared for a brief second, and although she had no idea where they were, she knew they couldn’t stay there. More reinforcements were bound to show up sooner or later, and she was in no state to fight them all. She stood, peering out at the landscape in hopes of finding a landmark she had passed before. The lids of her eyes threatened to shut, heavy with fatigue from the loss of adrenaline and the salty tears that had fallen.

She staggered closer to the rail, gripping onto it tightly as a way to ground herself as she searched further. Her heart felt like it was going to sink down into the pit of her stomach upon spotting a village in the distance. She turned to [Y/N], unsure if either of them could even make it that far. There was a chance it wasn’t the village she had been in either, on top of the fact there could be more traps hidden in the forest.

That only stopped her briefly. She knew they needed to leave, and she knew it was better to head out with the chance of finding Jonah than staying there to die.

Willing every ounce of strength she had left, she plucked the rifle she had thrown to the side back up, slinging it over her shoulder before wobbling back to [Y/N]. She huffed, sucking in a deep breath to ready herself, then bent down to pick her up, one arm tucking itself underneath her knees, and the other wrapping around her torso.

She turned, stumbled forward toward the stairs, and wrestled with the urge to look down at the unconscious form in her arms.

Each step down felt like a mile, Lara’s calves straining and aching, feeling as though they would give in and snap like twigs. By the time she managed to make it to the ground, it took everything in her not to collapse. She just kept telling herself they’ll be there soon. That was all she could do to keep moving forward. If she didn’t make it, not only would [Y/N] die, but she would as well. The marks from the beating she had taken had begun to finally sink in, adding to the difficulty.

She swayed every few steps. Her body threatened to fall over anytime she leaned too far.

She had no way of knowing she was going in the right direction, only able to rely on her instinct. There was no path, no landmark, no sign of nearing the village, which is why it was such a surprise when she could hear hollering up ahead. She strained her ears, hardly managing to make out that the unidentified voice was calling her name.

“Jonah?” She whispered hoarsely.

“Lara! [Y/N]! Are you two out there?”

“Jonah,” she weeped, unable to raise her voice any further.

Her feet continued to stumble toward the sound of his voice. The closer she got, the stronger the small spark of adrenaline she somehow still had grew. Finally, realizing he was only a few feet away, Lara managed to pick up her pace, lightly jogging forward. “Jonah, we’re here,” she cried out weakly. She moved ahead, breaking through the entrance of the forest to reveal the small patch of land they had originally tried to set up camp at. There, Jonah turned around and instantly ran over.

“Lara, you’re alright! I heard gunfire, but I didn’t know where you were, and–”

“Jonah, we need to get back to the plane right now. [Y/N]’s losing too much blood, and I don’t know how much longer she’s going to last,” although her tone was weak, there was no doubt she was terrified. Jonah finally looked down to the woman in Lara’s arms, his body tensing at the sight of all she had been through.

“Shit, what did–okay, but what about what you came here for? We can’t come back! Trinity’s going to–” Jonah knew that even mentioning the artifact in that moment was a mistake, but his mind was racing, preventing him from thinking logically.

“Forget the artifact, Jonah!” Lara snapped, her raspy voice finally reaching the volume she’d wanted to have when calling for him. “I don’t give a shit about that right now! I just want [Y/N] to survive! I’m the reason she’s in this state to begin with–I don’t want to be the reason she dies!”

At her sudden tone, Jonah could only nod and motion for Lara to hand [Y/N] to him to carry her there. Reluctantly, Lara did so, only after realizing she wouldn’t be able to make it to the plane in time if she were the one taking her. Without a moment to lose, Jonah began rushing up the path toward where they had landed, shouting behind him for the Croft to follow.

The ringing returned the closer they got, her vision blurring and growing dark. Everything was spinning, and she had to force herself to keep track of Jonah. By the time they had all made it into the plane, Lara’s body finally gave out.

“You know, I don’t think I had ever scared my father that badly before,” Lara murmured, a gentle chuckle escaping as she smiled fondly at the memory. With a sigh, she felt the pad of her thumb caress the tattered skin on the back of [Y/N]’s hands. For just a single moment, the ticking of the clock hanging above the door synced up with the beeping of the monitor beside the bed. Just as quickly, they fell out of rhythm again, and Lara waited for them to repeat it. Every few minutes, for the past several weeks, both would beat together for just a brief second, only to fall apart again.

It was the only thing she could look forward to anymore. It kept her distracted so she didn’t have to process everything just yet–so she didn’t have to look up at the woman deep in a coma in the bed she sat by. Jonah would come in here and there, reminding her to eat something small or to bring her a spare blanket for the night. Nurses would step inside to take vitals and update Lara on what was happening. And even though [Y/N] was there, whenever everyone else would leave, Lara still felt alone.

She could talk to her, but it was more like talking at her. She had no idea if the woman could hear anything she said, nor did she know when she was going to wake up. It had been seven weeks since they made it back from the expedition. Lara’s injuries were treated fairly easily, but [Y/N] had fallen into a medical coma from blood loss and excessive blunt force trauma. Her chances of survival in the beginning were slim, but things started to steadily improve as the days passed by.

Those days, however, felt like years to Lara. The woman she could once talk to and joke around with, the woman she could once hold and be held by, the woman she could once gaze into the eyes of, now lay before her, unmoving and silent. She was alive, but to Lara she seemed dead. She had been so lively before, and now she couldn’t even open her eyes.

To fill the never-ending silence that weighed heavy upon her shoulders, Lara would talk aloud, pretending as though she was sharing her thoughts with [Y/N] like she had done before everything went awry. Recently, after running out of small-talk she had murmured like it was scripted, she had resorted to retelling memories she had of her father back as a child. Somehow, even as [Y/N] stayed unconscious, Lara felt comfortable sharing her favorite times spent with her late father. Anyone else would’ve been waved off and told she wasn’t comfortable, but [Y/N] had always been the one person she could come to to speak of him freely.

Even seemingly dead, [Y/N] was still the only one she trusted. It was funny, in a way.

She huffed out a sigh, lifting the woman’s hand to her lips and pressing a featherlike kiss to her knuckles. Once her lips left the clammy skin, she brought her head down to lean it against the back of her hand. Her eyes closed, brows furrowed as she bit back a sob.

“I wish I had never brought you with me. If I hadn’t, you would still be comfortable at home, watching TV and sleeping in. You wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t… You wouldn’t be hurt, or strapped to this machine, or fighting for your life. You wouldn’t be in a coma.” She sniffled, squeezing the hand still against her forehead. “This is all my fault. I’m so sorry, [Y/N]. I would take it all back if I could.”

Some part of her waited, half-expecting a response. She whimpered, clearing her throat to prevent herself from bursting into tears again. With a hard swallow, she lifted her head, gaze trailing up to [Y/N]’s face. She smiled. “I have no idea how, but you still look so beautiful. Even when you’re out like this.”

Her free hand lifted far enough to caress the girl’s cheek, then pinch the bridge of her own nose, internally groaning at how heavy her eyes felt. Once her hand planted itself back on her thigh, she glanced over at the heart monitor, watching each movement on the screen intently for a moment, allowing herself to gather her thoughts. Finally, she faced [Y/N] again. Her hand squeezed her leg, unsure of what to say.

“I love you. So, so much. I should’ve said it more before… all of this, but I’m saying it now. I do love you, [Y/N], more than anything in this world.”

She huffed out a pained laugh.

“I don’t know why I’m so mad at you. None of this is your fault. I’m the one who dragged you into the expedition, and I’m the one who ended up getting you captured. I wish I hadn’t begged you to come with me. You deserve to be at home, not in this bed. I should’ve protected you, and I didn’t, and for that, I’m so sorry. You deserve someone better: someone who wouldn’t have gotten you into this mess.

“The worst part is: I don’t even know if you can hear me. I’m not sure if you’ve heard anything I’ve said this entire time. I’m not sure why knowing that you might not hear me hurts so badly, but it does.” Tears once again pricked the corners of her eyes. “God, I wish I could hear your voice again. I miss you so much. I know you’re right in front of me, and I know you’re still breathing and alive, but I’ve never felt so alone. It doesn’t feel like you’re really here. It feels like you’re not you.”

The tears stinging her eyes now blurred her vision and poured down in thick masses. Her free arm raised, allowing her to use the sleeve of her jacket to wipe them away. Once they dried, she looked up at her again, hands trembling harshly.

“Please wake up. I’m begging you.”

Grumbling was all Lara could do in her unconscious state. Any small sound she could hear had her grumbling louder: pages flipping, pens scribbling, pills rattling, doors opening, monitors beeping. Everything that she could hear seemed to be working against her, screaming at her to wake back up. It was late at night when she finally let herself drop her head onto the edge of the hospital bed to rest. Hand still clutching onto [Y/N]’s, she managed to drift off for the first time in days.

The sounds grew incessant, however, stirring her partially awake. Each little noise irritated her further, and she had to fight the urge to muffle the scream bubbling up in her throat with the sheets cushioning her head. To add onto her growing frustration, something squeezed softly at her hand, forcing her back to her senses.

“For fuck’s sake,” she mumbled, lifted her head, then looked down at her hand. Her brows pinched tightly together, she sat there, processing what she had just felt. Again, her hand was squeezed.

Her brain, although severely sleep deprived, finally managed to register what had happened. Immediately, she looked up from her hand, her eyes landing on [Y/N], who finally opened her eyes for the first time in months. She gazed back at Lara the way the brunette had been craving the entire time. Upon seeing that she was now awake, tears instantly trickled out from Lara’s eyes, a shaky sob accompanying them.

“[Y/N]?” She whispered, unsure if she was actually awake.

“Hey, Lara,” came her raspy reply, a tired grin gracing her cracked lips.

Right away, Lara sprung up from her seat by the bed and leaned forward, capturing [Y/N] in a tight embrace. “Oh my god, I don’t–” She sniffled. Her leg lifted up, allowing her to sit beside the woman now practically cradling her in return. “You’re awake. You’re finally awake. I don’t believe it.”

She leaned back from the hug, cupping [Y/N]’s face in her hands and studying every little feature she could see. Sob after sob wracked through her body as she pressed a kiss to the wounded woman’s lips, only shifting back to pepper the rest of her face in similar kisses. “I thought I lost you,” she whispered after calming down enough to speak. Her voice trembled and broke more with each passing word, rambling about what she had feared.

“God, I love you so much.”

Again, she captured [Y/N]’s lips in her own, pure relief washing through her senses when she felt her kissing back. Weakly, the bandaged girl chuckled. “I love you too,” she rasped out.

Lara instantly leaned back into the embrace, clutching desperately at the hospital gown she rested against. She swayed side to side, shivering as [Y/N] soothingly rubbed up and down her back. She couldn’t begin to explain how she felt at that moment. All she could say was she was so relieved to know that the woman she held closest to her heart was alive and breathing.

“Can I ask you something?” A soft voice whispered. She leaned away again to look her in the eye. “Of course. Anything at all.”

“What happened after I was stabbed?”

Lara froze, now growing uncertain. “You don’t remember?” She sucked in a shaky breath when her only response was a shake of the head. Her gaze dropped down, unsure of where to start. She scratched the back of her neck anxiously, took another deep breath in an attempt to steel her nerves, then cleared her throat. “Well, I’m not really…”

She turned to glance behind her, ensuring no one else was in the room before she spoke again. There was no shame in what she had done–not for her–but she’d be torn away instantly if someone overheard. [Y/N] had just woken back up, and she wasn’t going to risk losing her all over again. Although, that still might be a possibility, depending on how she took the news.

She explained herself, sparing no detail of what she had committed in her blind rage. From wrestling with the soldiers to stabbing the captain of the team in both the chest and the throat, she confessed every little atrocity that had been brought about by her hands alone. As she spoke, she averted her eyes, too afraid of being gazed at with disgust. She focused on the pattern stitched into the bedsheets bundled up atop [Y/N]’s legs.

Finally, she managed to tear her eyes away from the sheets and look back into [Y/N]’s. She swallowed, surprised to see that familiar glint of admiration in her eyes. There was no sign of repulsion or discomfort at the heinous things she had admitted to. “You’re not mad?” Was all she could ask. [Y/N] snickered and shook her head.

“Are you kidding? Those asswipes beat the shit out of me, and one tried to kill me. I don’t exactly have sympathy for them after that.” Relieved, Lara sighed and grinned. It was a breath of fresh air to see her laugh again, even though it was rather weak.

She turned to sit next to [Y/N], who she then pulled into her side. With a quick peck to the top of the head, she closed her eyes and yawned. “Tired?” “Mmhm.” “Yeah, same.” Lara laughed, looking down at her in confusion. “You were in a coma for nearly three months. Why are you tired?” [Y/N] smirked and rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t willingly unconscious. Plus, my body just sucks,” she murmured, earning another chuckle.

“Well, I love your body,” Lara mumbled, tugging her closer. “Every bit of it.”

Waiting a moment, [Y/N] leaned against the brunette fully, her head dropping onto her shoulder as she closed her eyes. She grinned, listening to Lara yawn again before she shivered. “Move your legs for a second,” she whispered to the already half-asleep woman. “Hm?” “Move your legs.” “What? Why?” “So I can cover you up with the blankets.”

Lara seemed to take a moment to understand what she had said. Finally, though, she lifted her legs with a groan, letting [Y/N] slip the covers out from under her and essentially tuck her in beside her. Both sighed in relief: Lara from the warmth of the sheets and [Y/N] pressed against her, and [Y/N] from the feeling of Lara holding her close.

Lights had been turned off throughout the ward for a while, which both women were silently grateful for. As they shuffled to lie down more comfortably beneath the covers, everything seemed to settle down for the first time in months. Lara’s body finally relaxed, the lack of sleep from the past several weeks catching up to her at a rapid speed. She hummed softly as she turned onto her side, pulling [Y/N] into her chest.

“I’m never taking you on a trip like that again,” she slurred out. “At least, not until I know Trinity won’t be there.”

[Y/N] nodded as she listened, also partially asleep. She squirmed a bit, sliding closer while trying to mind her IV. As her head settled against Lara’s chest, she yawned. A moment passed before she spoke again.

“You do know the nurses are gonna come in any minute and realize I’m awake, right?” A groan sounded from Lara, prompting a snicker from [Y/N]. “I’m gonna crawl back into the bed again the second they leave. I just want you in my arms right now.”

“Well, either way, I want you to know that I could hear you for most of the time I was out. And I also want you to know that I plan on saying “I love you” as many times as you did before I woke up. I really do love you. I mean, you were right here the second I woke up, and I don’t know if you ever…” She thought for a moment, opening her eyes and looking up at Lara. “Did you ever leave the room?” Even as she fought to stay awake, Lara scratched her cheek nervously. “Only when I used the restroom. I was afraid I wouldn’t be here when you woke up.”

[Y/N] grinned. “Well, I’m glad you were here. I was worried you wouldn’t be here at all when I woke up. I figured you’d leave and head home, or maybe go back to the village we were at.” Gently yet reassuringly, Lara squeezed her closer. “I would never do that to you. You’re everything to me.”

“And you’re everything to me.”

Another yawn managed to escape the brunette’s lips. She pressed a small kiss to the top of [Y/N]’s head and sighed, already drifting off again. “I love you, so damn much. No one’s going to hurt what’s mine, never again.”

“I’m yours, huh?”

“Of course.”

A gentle smile graced [Y/N]’s features as she shuffled closer, pressing a kiss to Lara’s collarbone as her eyes fluttered shut.

“Of course I’m yours.”

dude you fed us so well with good luck charm. one of my favourite parts was how you wrote jinx first processing being called a token of good luck. idk there was something about it that was both in character yet paid homage to how such a thing can feel, and you captured an outside view's pov of watching it happen in real time so well

AAAA I'm glad you enjoyed that fic because it was really fun to write! I love that so many people liked it as well.

And yeah, I wanted to give it more of a realistic feel in regards to her character when the reader calls Jinx her good luck charm, so I'm really happy that it came across the way I intended! I'm trying to also improve on showing rather than telling, and it seems it worked for that fic specifically, which makes me very happy! :)

I have a few more fics planned for a couple of characters, and Jinx is one of them, so I hope you'll enjoy those as well if you'd like to stick around! Thank you so much for your kindhearted words, they really do mean a lot to me! 🩵

For anyone interested, the link for the fic mentioned above is here.

First Defense

[Five Nights at Freddy's] Vanessa Shelly x Female Reader

Summary: Upon seeing you get hurt, even though you've never officially met, Vanessa gets protective.

Word Count: 3.33k Content Warnings: Language, violence, mentions of substance abuse Category: Angst + Heavy Fluff || Oneshot

[A/N]: Sorry if the pacing seems really fast. I wrote this really quick before my meds knocked me out for the night. Might seem kinda odd at the end, considering I didn't proofread any of this.

Enjoy!

The sound of a loud ring echoed throughout the bustling atmosphere of the room, signaling that someone’s order had been finished. “Order for Vanessa S.?” As the words flew through the air, a tall blonde stood from her seat at the table closest to the door. She sauntered over to the counter and plucked her drink from the top of it, quickly thanking the barista before she backtracked to her seat.

As she took her spot at the table again and sipped lazily at her freshly-brewed coffee, her eyes repeatedly found themselves wandering toward the entrance, expectantly waiting for the familiar sight of someone she had kept her eye on for a while. You had been a regular at the cafe for years, though she didn’t realize it until a month or two prior to the time she was living in at that moment as she waited for you. You had no idea who she was, but she certainly knew who you were. It wasn’t her intention to learn everything she could about you the moment she laid eyes on you, but she wouldn’t deny that each new fact thrown her way by the staff you had grown close to gave her another spark of interest in who you truly were.

Within the short few months after she had first seen you, she too became a regular at the cafe, only with the intent to hopefully gather the courage to finally talk to you properly one day. She had your schedule memorized almost immediately. Monday through Thursday, you came in relatively early, clearly getting a boost of energy for the morning shift of wherever you worked. Fridays, you would wait to come in until after lunch, though long before dinner.

Finally, on weekends, you’d come in during the afternoon. It seemed you got the weekends off, so you often came to the cafe to chat away with the baristas and waiters who were visibly very fond of you. She could understand, however, why they seemed to lighten up at the mere mention of your name. Your presence alone, even when you were across the room from her, was calming and infectious.

She’d chuckle with you, not even knowing what joke you had cracked.

She’d frown when you’d grimace at the mention of something she couldn’t hear.

She’d grow upset the moment you showed any sign of discomfort or anger.

Already, even though the two of you had never fully met, she adored you. In her mind, she couldn’t picture anyone who would want to dim the only light in the cramped room of the crumbling cafe. Her brain had battled for days on how to finally greet you face-to-face without coming across as creepy. She couldn’t introduce herself as someone who’d been memorizing your schedule in regards to the small coffee shop, and she knew that. It would sound like she was stalking you, and that was the last thing she wanted. Yes, she knew it was a bit odd that she only came to the cafe in hopes of seeing you, but it was all she had until she could build up her courage.

You’d be there any moment, and she continued to watch the door at the front, practically like a hawk as her eyes would only flicker away from it to find her cup on the table again for a quick sip.

Soon, you came in, much to her relief. She had been prepping what to say in advance since she woke up that morning. She just hoped she could get it across the way she wanted. She watched as you shared a few jokes almost instantly with the few waiters you passed by as you made your way to the counter. Again, the sight of your smile had her own lips perking up into a grin. Her eyes trailed after you, then remained on you once you stood at the counter to place your order.

Although she knew which times you’d come in each day, she had no idea what you usually ordered. Even on the rare days where you’d sit relatively close to her, she couldn’t make out what the label on your cup said. It wasn’t important, she knew, but it was another part of you that seemed to interest her.

You chatted away gleefully with the cashier and barista. Only a few moments prior, they had been grumbling and feigning looks of what most people would call joy. The moment you made it there and struck up a conversation, however, their moods shifted drastically. They beamed brightly in your direction and laughed at whatever new pun you had given them.

Vanessa wished she was close enough to hear your words, but seeing you chuckle at your own joke had her snickering softly to herself. You seemed like such a kind soul, and she wanted to meet you so badly.

She managed to tear her eyes away briefly when the bell above the door rang. A tall, heavy, middle-aged man walked through and made his way to the spot behind you in line, a scowl forming once he spotted you there. He cleared his throat a while after Vanessa had assumed you finished your order – considering you had gotten your receipt – and you turned to him. You waved your hands in front of you and gave an apologetic look as you stepped out of the way, mumbling a soft “sorry” that she could only make out by glancing at your lips.

He rolled his eyes at you and continued to glare momentarily as he shuffled forward and pulled out his wallet. As he placed his own order, it was clear the cashier and barista were uncomfortable once again. They glanced over at you and watched as you moved to lean against the wall right by the counter. You weren’t in the way, but you were still able to talk with them as they worked on the two new orders.

Once the man was handed his receipt, he turned and stared at you with a growing grimace. You seemed to pay no mind to him, too caught up in your conversation with the barista behind the counter. When she and the cashier headed back to do their respective jobs as new customers filed in, the stranger trudged your way and seemed to bristle when you finally acknowledged him.

Vanessa, at first, couldn’t hear what he began to rant about at you, though she could see the increasing fear and discomfort growing more evident on your face. Fairly shortly, however, she was able to make out more and more of his words as he began to holler at you. “You need to get out of the way! You’re blocking the path and being inconsiderate about the other people around, you disrespectful brat!” Everyone’s heads seemed to turn toward him, confused at the sudden loud volume.

Vanessa’s eyes trained themselves on him carefully, nails digging into her palms as she readied herself to step in. “Sir,” you chirped back shakily, “I’m not in the way, I’m just leaning against the wall. There’s plenty of room.” This only seemed to infuriate him more. “You are in the way! Are you calling me a fucking liar? You shouldn’t be in here! I should drag your ass out of here myself, you bitch,” he growled as he stepped closer to you. His frame practically towered above your own as he glared down at you, doing his best to intimidate you.

As he continued to screech insult after insult at you, the barista and cashier started to come around from behind the counter to intervene. Vanessa knew they wouldn’t be able to physically do anything, which is why she leaned her head to the side and sent out a request for security on her radio, all while keeping her focus on you.

She could tell something wasn’t right. It was clear you had no idea who he was, but you hadn’t done anything wrong regardless. From what she had seen in the past, it seemed like he was under the influence of something, and it only sparked her nerves more when he physically shoved you back against the wall, then moved back to roll up his sleeves.

Once more, Vanessa sent in another request for backup, her words more urgent. Her eyes flitted down for only a second to push her drink aside, then finally narrowed in back on you.

That’s when she witnessed the way the back of his hand struck itself harshly against your jaw, the sickening sound of what sounded like a crack echoing through the room as you were sent spiraling toward the floor. The room fell silent, and the staff made their way closer. As she saw you hit the ground, fury and an unfamiliar need to protect you flooded Vanessa’s body instantly, pumping every vein full of adrenaline and forcing her to act purely on instinct.

With a movement so quick it almost sent her chair to the ground, she stood from her spot at the table and stormed over to him before the staff members could, clutching his shoulder and whipping him around to meet her eye. He hardly had a chance to register her there before she took hold of his collar with a white-knuckled grip. Almost too easily, she hoisted him backward and pinned him to the wall, the back of his head slamming against the sheetrock and momentarily disorienting him.

She stepped closer to him, ignoring the fact he nearly towered over her. Her face now merely inches from his own, she scowled up at him, her words dripping with venom laced in each syllable.

"Lay your hands on her again, and I'll rip your fucking throat out, you hear me?"

He sputtered for a moment, still regaining his bearings. When he made out her figure and spotted her uniform and badge, he bristled and launched forward, shoving her off of him. Immediately, he booked his way toward the door, though the security that Vanessa had called in as backup blocked off his path. As he attempted to shove past them, he was tackled to the floor and pinned there as the lead officer cuffed him.

Once she was sure the situation was handled, Vanessa kneeled down beside you and took your hand, helping you sit up. She was quick to check over the skin she could see for any bruising or cuts. “Are you alright?” She finally asked, wishing so badly that they didn’t have to be the first words she ever presented to you. Still in shock, you only gave a nod as a response for a moment. Your eyes found hers, then glanced over at the scene by the door, then fell back to her own. “What the hell just happened?” A sigh slipped past her lips before she helped you stand.

“The guy being wrestled over there just hit you. Really hard, too. Does anything hurt? Like, more than it should after a hit like that?” Almost as if you couldn’t grasp the situation properly, your hand lifted to your face. You winced when the tips of your fingers grazed over your skin, sending a jolt of alarm through Vanessa. “Shit, you okay?” You nodded finally and cradled your cheek in your hand. “Yeah, I’m fine. It just really stings.”

She huffed out a sigh again and nodded before turning her attention back to the officers at the entrance, who barely managed to handcuff the stranger and began to try to drag him out the door. With a quick motion to run her hand down her face, Vanessa gently took hold of your free arm and tugged you along to the rear exit. She kept you at the side of the building until the man was driven away to the police station, then she led you to the front of the cafe.

“Do you want to press charges? I’ve got to get a statement from you either way.” You grew nervous at this, which only gave her a worse feeling. “I don’t know,” you murmured. “What if he finds out and comes after me again?”

She frowned at your words, both hands coming to clasp one of yours in between. Softly, her hands gave you a reassuring squeeze. “You don’t need to worry about that. I’ll be with you there every step of the way. I promise he won’t hurt you, okay?”

Still, you seemed to hesitate. She tilted her head after a moment, noticing the way your eyes glossed over as you stared into the distance. Just as she parted her lips to speak again, you nodded and gave an answer. “Okay, yeah, I want to press charges.”

Her lips cracked into a smile at your words. “Okay, then let’s get you down to the precinct. I’ll give you a ride.”

Nearly a full year after the stranger had struck you in the cafe, the charges were finally filed, and the assailant had been thrown behind bars for multiple reasons that were finally brought to light during the case. Keeping true to her word, Vanessa stood by your side throughout the entire process, offering support when the man’s legal team grew aggressive with their defense.

To the surprise of no one, Vanessa discovered almost immediately that the man had been heavily under the influence of both alcohol and overuse of prescription drugs. It was a wonder to the entire team as to how he even made it to the cafe without causing a wreck or getting into a fight on the way.

Both accounts of substance abuse were added to his charges, as well as multiple felonies he had already committed prior to his arrest. He had evaded the police for over two years, which is why they were so pleased to finally see him thrown into a cell. Even after the case was solved, Vanessa still made sure to make frequent stops at your house to check in and make sure you were still okay.

She’d swing by in between shifts and sit down for an hour or so, listening to you talk about whatever you were worried about, then she’d offer any advice or support she had in return. Some days, when you felt more at ease, the two of you would talk about the people you had made friends with at the cafe, and she was relieved to know they were also there as your own support system.

Soon enough, she’d visit just to spend time together, grateful that you seemed comfortable with her by then. After months, she offered to take you out for coffee or tea, though she ensured that she would bring you somewhere completely different from where the assault had taken place.

You accepted, thankfully. After her last shift of the week, she picked you up in her personal car instead of the cop car you had sat in a year before to give your statement. It was a short drive to the new cafe. Once parked, she got out before you and strode to the opposite side to open your door, taking your hand and helping you step out. She locked the door as she led you inside of the small shop.

The two of you sat down in a corner booth after ordering. When Vanessa’s name was called, she had you wait in your seat as she got both hers and your drink from the counter. She managed to strike up a conversation as you both sipped away at your separate cups.

“So, I have a couple of things I have to confess,” she started. Curiously, you perked your head up further at her, prompting her to give a small smile. “For starters, I was only in the coffee shop that day because I was actually planning to finally talk to you. It might sound weird, but I had been going there for a few weeks and watching you. I promise I didn’t mean anything weird by it, I just couldn’t bring myself to actually talk to you properly for a while. I wanted to watch how you were with other people to see how I should approach you.

“Then, just when I finally got the courage to greet you, that guy walked in, and… well, you know what happened, obviously. And as odd as it sounds, I’m actually glad you agreed to press charges. Mainly because that asshole deserved it, but also because I got to know you better. Not necessarily at the beginning, since I know that would be really gross to focus on, but after he was thrown in jail and you said it was okay to stop by for visits. I really liked getting to know you.”

Shakily, her hand reached over and rested on top of yours. “And I really hope I can continue to get to know you. I, uh, wanted to ask something, but I want you to know I completely understand if you’re too weirded out by me asking.”

You had started smiling at some point during her small speech, and when you nodded for her to continue, she felt slightly more at ease.

“I know it was a really weird way that we met, but I really have liked you for a long time now. I guess the reason I’m worried about asking this is because it seems like this has been my whole intention the entire time I was helping you press charges, and that’s a disgusting thing that a lot of people unfortunately do. I don’t want it to come across like that at all, so let me know if it does, okay?”

Again, you only gave a nod, though your grin never faltered.

She sucked in a quick breath and nodded as well.

“I just wanted to know… Well, I’m sure you already know what I’m going to ask. Will you go out with me? When you’re ready, of course. I know you’re still kind of iffy about things after what happened. I’ll take you somewhere else, if you are ready, since a coffee shop is kind of an ironic place for a first date. I mean, not that we’d go out immediately since I said when you’re ready, but if you are ready, then I can –”

She froze when you laughed. Your free hand moved over to pat her own lightly. Her gaze flickered down at your hand before meeting your eye again.

“‘Nessa, you’ve gotta breathe. My answer is yes. I don’t think it’s too early to ask, alright? None of what you’ve said comes across as creepy to me, and I’d absolutely love for our first date to be anywhere at all. Even a coffee shop. It helps me remember that one bad event somewhere doesn’t mean it’ll happen at every place that’s the same. I trust you.”

Her smile finally returned, a soft chuckle leaving her lips as she nodded. “Sorry, I've just been really worried this would go wrong because of me.” She rubbed the back of her neck for a moment before she let both hands take hold of yours to squeeze them. “I’m glad you said yes, though, even if I sounded scatterbrained when I asked.”

“Eh, you did, but it’s just part of your charm.”

“Yeah, the charm that only you see. I don’t tend to get this way with other people.”

“Oh? Guess that makes me lucky then.”

She laughed again. With ease, she brought one of your hands up to her lips, pressing a featherlike kiss to your knuckles. When she lowered your hand to rest on the table again, her thumb gently grazed over the back of it.

“Yeah, guess it does.”

You tilted your head and thought for a moment, your smirk growing. With a glance down, you let one hand slip out to squeeze hers instead.

“And you promise to protect me the way you did back then?”

Her smile widened.

“Absolutely, I’ll kick anyone’s ass if they try to hurt you.”

Admission

[Shadows of Rose] Rosemary Winters x Female Reader

Summary: Rose has grown to like you, though she keeps her feelings hidden, convinced that you wouldn't feel the same way. Her worries are relieved when you sit her down for a talk.

Word Count: 3.17k Content Warnings: Fear of rejection Category: Soft Angst + Heavy Fluff || One-shot

[A/N]: Reposting it just to see if the formatting issue was caused by the ask box.

Enjoy!

Blended between the gentle rustle of leaves and the soulful songs of birds chirping high above, hearty barks of laughter sprung to life. Trailing forward on the graveled path encircling the small scenic park, you and Rose snickered with each shared inside joke passed alongside light, playful pushes, uncaring of the eyes trained on you in curiosity and slight annoyance.

As she spoke about another joyous memory of hers, you couldn’t help but take notice of the features adorning the heavenly smile painted across Rose’s lips. Although her eyes only periodically met yours as she recalled and retold the story in her mind, the way they crinkled from the amusement – also evident in her tone – was prominent. Similarly, upon chuckling in response to a particularly comical moment, the bridge of her nose scrunched up, and you watched as her hands flew down to rest on her gut to prevent herself from doubling over as another wave of laughter erupted from her throat.

God, she was beautiful.

You’d known that since the moment you met her years ago during one of her outdoor training exercises. To this day you were unsure as to why she was suddenly allowed to train away from the BSAA grounds, though you would forever be grateful to the soldiers stationed there who let her be free for a day and enjoy the park between training sessions.

You remembered watching her in pure awe then, just as you continued to do now. Everything about her amazed you.

On that particular day when you had first met, it was inspiring to witness how effortlessly she seemed to move during practice, and even more breathtaking to see how intrigued she was by the nature that surrounded her when she was allowed a break. The way her cheesy grin grew as she watched two birds dancing up in the branches, how the brightness of her blue eyes filled with curiosity when they finally landed on you, how she eagerly bounced your way with her arm outstretched – each little characteristic she presented to you swept you off your feet.

“Hi, I’m Rose,” she chirped once you managed to snap out of your awestruck trance and take her hand into your own. When you timidly offered up your name, she nodded and repeated it. “Pretty name,” she noted out loud to herself. She hadn’t seemed to notice the way your body tensed, nor the way your face grew warm and red at her words. Instead, she asked what you were doing there, and more importantly why you’d been watching her.

A moment passed where you came forward with no explanation, desperately trying to find a good enough excuse that wouldn’t make you come across as odd to this new, bubbly girl. Finally, you forced yourself to admit that you thought what she had been doing looked cool. “Oh, really?” She asked, her brows raised. “Why don’t you join me then? It’ll be fun!”

At first you tried to deny her suggestion. All it took to win you over, however, was a small, drawn-out “please,” paired with the pleading eyes you would later learn to be her favorite way to convince you to do what she wanted. Ultimately, you agreed, and she led you to the small, secluded section of the park she had been using to train all day. Just as she had begun to explain one of the easier maneuvers, excited to have someone to finally talk to, a gruff, towering man approached, halting her small lesson with a question of his own.

“Who is this, Rose?”

She turned to him, all of a sudden trembling and waving her hands about as she did her best to defend herself to this strange man. “She’s just a friend,” was how she started, and his head cocked itself to the side, eyes trained heavily on you with some kind of emotion you couldn’t pinpoint. “I figured we could do a few of the training moves together for fun.” The man sighed, shoulders drooping with fatigue and rough hand raising to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Rose, we’ve been over this.”

“I know, but I just thought it wouldn’t hurt to ease up this once. Chris, I’ve been working so hard, just like you want me to, but I really want to take a break every once in a while. Why can’t I just relax for one day? Isn’t that why you brought me out here this time?”

You remembered standing there, hands practically tied together in an attempt to ease the harsh trembling they carried. The soft breeze that day only forced you to take notice of the frigid beads of sweat forming on the back of your neck, which you not-so-subtly swiped at as you listened to them speak. The nerves throughout your body spiked when the man, whose name you barely managed to pick up on as Chris, glared over at you once more.

Wordlessly, his gaze flickered between you and Rose. You could feel yourself melting beneath his crushing eyes, your own focus landing on the soft tufts of vibrantly green grass beneath your shoes.

“Just this once,” he said at length, prompting you to snap your head up to face him again. You weren’t sure who he was, but you could tell how important his word was to Rose, who had once again grown giddy at his permission. “Thank you, Chris,” she cheered as she tugged him sideways into a small hug.

She pulled you to a nearby spot and continued explaining the specific move she had tried to talk about earlier. Chris kept a watchful eye on the two of you, though you could tell it was more on you than her. After some time, you didn’t even notice him anymore, too engulfed in the game you and Rose had made up and started playing. By the time soft blues and purples began to paint the sky, you saw how he seemed to be more at ease around you, even offering you a kind smile before you parted ways with your new friend.

Now, as you trotted through the park with that same friend, it was all too easy to listen to her poke fun at a few failed training experiments she had with Chris over the years. Even with her teasing words, it was clear how much the man meant to her. “He’s like a second father to me,” she told you once.

As she finished her thought and turned to you, you blinked, unsure of whether or not she had asked you something. You had been too focused on how the palette of the setting sun casted itself beautifully over the blonde locks tucked underneath her cap and her pale skin, the hues alone making her look ethereal. You fidgeted with your phone in your pocket for a moment, wanting to capture her in that moment.

“Is there something on my face?” She questioned suddenly, subconsciously wiping her mouth as your silence briefly continued. “Oh, no,” you replied after finally coming back to your senses. “Sorry, I just kind of zoned out for a minute.” She hummed and nodded, a small smile toying effortlessly at the corners of her lips.

For a split second, you found yourself gawking at her again. Before she could catch you a second time, however, you coerced yourself to instead listen to the crunching of the gravel beneath your feet as they carried you forward, your eyes dropping to watch them do so. The cool wind that grazed over your skin was welcome in comparison to the burning sensation building up in your face, and you were unable to bite back a small huff of relief when it cooled and dried the droplets of sweat forming on your brow. Curiously, Rose glanced your way at the sound, though she looked ahead again when you said nothing more.

“So,” she started after walking a few more paces, “any ideas on what you want to do after high school? I mean, I know you told me about the college you want to go to and what you want to major in, but any plans for anything else?”

“Anything else?” You echoed. “What do you mean?”

Just as yours had done only a moment prior, Rose’s face seemed to burn scarlet red, though she quickly averted her eyes and turned her head to hide it. Forming a fist and bringing it up to cover her mouth, she cleared her throat and nodded. “Yeah, like…” She shrugged, though it seemed more like she was trying to get something off her shoulders than being casual about it. “I don’t know. Maybe start dating someone, or… do something else?” She scoffed. “I don’t know.” It hurt your heart to see her seem so anxious about something, but her tone and timidness brought a sense of endearment as well.

“Oh,” you blurted, mirroring her actions and turning away to hide the betrayal of your reddening features. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make it awkward,” she murmured with a defeated sigh.

You desperately wanted to tell her she didn’t make anything awkward, wanted her to know there was nothing to feel guilty about, but it would be a blatant lie to say things weren’t uncomfortable. Instead, all you could offer up was a whispered “it’s okay.”

As the world around you quietened and settled to make way for the rising moon, your mind raced and scrambled for something more to say. “Well,” you squeaked out eventually. “I don’t know about dating anyone, but it would be nice to find a steady job so college doesn’t completely kick my ass.” A quiet chuckle slipped from her lips, though she seemed disappointed in your answer, her eyebrows creasing as though she had been expecting something else. Hoping for something else.

“Yeah,” was her only reply.

When your eyes finally wandered over to look at her, she seemed further away, her eyes slightly dull and that smile gone from her face entirely. Upon noticing this shift in her demeanor, you found yourself determined to cheer her up, eyes flickering around the area almost frantically for an escape from this tense atmosphere you had unintentionally built.

A few paces ahead was a bench, clear of other people and free from any potential prying eyes. As you crossed through the grass, Rose watched you with a hint of confusion, quickly trailing behind and ultimately joining you on the bench. Before any other thoughts could form, one thought in particular made itself known to you, one that had you crumbling slightly from fear.

It seemed the short-lived discussion of dating seemed to be the cause of her deflated charisma. Maybe bringing it up again in a different light would spark that gleam in her eyes again.

While your hands fiddled restlessly with the hem of your shirt, Rose looked around silently at the empty park, the tree behind the bench nearly drowning the both of you in total darkness as the sun continued to fall beneath the horizon. It took some time before she noticed your shuffling, though her face was quick to contort with concern when she did. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I just,” a quick clearing of your throat was made as an attempt to conceal the way your voice shook and cracked. “Can I be honest with you about something?” She nodded. “Of course.” “It has to do with what we were talking about earlier. About dating someone?” At your words, she seemed to perk up, a strange concoction of emotions flooding behind her gaze.

Even with the darkening shadows dimming any clarity given by her features, she made it evident that she had taken a sudden interest in what you had to say. She was eager.

You heard the rustling of her sleeves as her arms lurched forward toward you, only to falter and return to her sides, and could still make out the silhouette and the curve of her face when she winced at her own actions. You paid no mind to it, knowing that what you were wanting to say would probably bring you more grief than what she felt.

“I do actually like someone,” you mumbled, shying away from her gaze when it returned to you. “But will you promise me you won’t freak out if I tell you who it is?”

As if the incident from before had been replayed, she physically deflated at your words all over again.

“Uh,” she whispered, looking down unsurely.

“Yeah, sure. I promise.”

Her tone made you hesitate for a moment. If she was this upset just by you mentioning you had feelings for someone, how would she react to you admitting who it was? Before you could lose the nerve, you forced yourself to speak. “Well, she’s special to me. Ever since I met her, she’s done nothing but make me happy, and I feel like I can actually be myself around her. I feel… safe and secure with her, and I’ve honestly been picturing myself with her in the future.”

Each passing word seemed to crush Rose more and more, though you continued with this seemingly brutal torture anyway.

“She’s beautiful, and funny, and smart, and strong, and talented, and I didn’t realize how important she is to me until recently. I want to tell her how I feel and see if she feels the same, but I need you to be honest with me. Do you think she’d feel the same way?”

Bitterly, she shrugged and shifted her hands to toy with her fingers. “Depends,” she responded bluntly. “Who is it?”

“It’s you, Rose.”

For an agonizingly silent moment, all she could do was stare down at her hands, and you wondered to yourself if she had even heard you at all. Just as you parted your lips to repeat yourself, her head lifted and turned to you. The pale lighting from the slowly rising moon caressed her face, allowing you to see the starstruck expression that riddled her features. Shakily, she lifted her finger to point at herself. “Me?” She asked in disbelief, a scarlet red hue dusting across her cheeks.

When you nodded, it only took half a second before that gleaming smile you adored more than life itself broke out across her lips. “Oh,” she blurted, shrinking into herself a bit while her chipped nails tapped at the backs of her knuckles, her grin never fleeing.

Her eyes, although you couldn’t see them clearly in the little light provided, flickered down for a moment in thought before returning to your own gaze. “You’ve been picturing a future together with me?” You hummed and nodded, soft prickles bubbling up on the back of your neck as your mind tried to convince you of every possible way she could reject you then. The thumping of your heart skipped with fear when she laughed, and your head dipped down to hide your face.

“I never thought you’d actually feel the same way,” she confessed, hands writhing against one another. The moment the words left her lips, you found yourself glancing back up at her, eyes wide and mouth agape in shock. “You like me too?” Another soft chuckle. “Yeah, of course I do. I honestly thought I was horrible at hiding it, but apparently not.”

The corners of her lips perked up into a sly smirk. “Or maybe you’re just a little too dense for it.” Playfully, you smacked the side of her arm, which prompted another joyful laugh that you could never get enough of. Slowly, her hand slid over to cover yours and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “But in all seriousness, I really do like you. I’ve been wanting to tell you that for a while now, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I really didn’t think you would feel the same way.”

Tilting your head to the side, you gave a look of confusion. “What? Why wouldn’t I like you? You’re only, like, the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

She tucked her hair back out of her face before offering a small shrug as a response. Your question seemed to bring her a feeling of discomfort, and although you weren’t sure why, you were quick to try and think of a way to cheer her up again. Before you were able to speak, however, she answered you properly.

“Well, I mean… to be fair, I haven’t always exactly been liked. Before I met you, I had never actually fallen in love with anyone. Mainly because I’ve never been close to anyone before, but also because you’re the only person I actually feel safe with. I feel like I can be myself around you – like I finally mean something. You make me feel like I’m normal in all the best ways. Chris is nice, but he and the others have only raised me to be a bioweapon for them, and they don’t hide the fact that that’s how they see me. You, though… You make me feel human. You make me feel like I’m a real person who has her own purpose – her own life and future.

“And if I’m being honest? As corny as this is going to sound, I don’t want to live in any future for myself if you’re not in it. I was worried that if I confessed how I felt to you, you’d think I was weird or gross and wouldn’t want to be around me anymore. That’s why I kept trying to hide how I feel. I didn’t want to lose you.”

Each passing word only caused your smile to grow. As she spoke, you flipped your hand around in hers, allowing you to finally lace your fingers with hers. When she fell silent again, you gave her hand a small squeeze, similar to how she had done to you shortly before. “Well, now you don’t have to worry about it anymore. You know I feel the same, and you know I want to have a future with you.”

Slowly, she rose to her feet, then turned and helped you stand to look her in the eye. Even with the blackening shadows, you could still see the smitten gleam in her eyes, paired with the seemingly permanent smile on her lips. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she whispered.

“So what does that make us?” You stepped forward, arms flying out to encircle her and pull her flush against your body, prompting a small yelp to sound from her. As quickly as you had reached for her, she all but melted into your touch and held you just as tightly in return. “Well, I’d like to be your girlfriend,” you replied. “But only if you feel the same.”

Her shoulders shook slightly against you as she laughed, her fingernails digging in lightly to your shirt as she nodded. “Of course I feel the same, you dork. I’d love nothing more than to be able to call you mine.”

Guardian Angel

[BATIM/BATDR] Allison Angel x Female Reader

Summary: When she grows anxious after defeating Alice to keep you safe, Allison vows to protect you from every threat in the studio.

Word Count: 3.43k Content Warnings: Slight language, mentions of injury, bullet wounds, death, anxiety, and paranoia Category: Soft Angst + Fluff || Preference / Oneshot

[A/N]: Thanks for 210+ followers. :) Note: "[Y/N]" is used in most of my stories, just as a small warning in case that throws you off. I'm switching to have my stories in second-person POV, but all characters will still refer to the reader as "[Y/N]".

Enjoy!

“Darling, I’m not sure about this,” Allison murmured as she stopped you from opening the door. “I know you think you can get through to her, but she’s too far gone. I’ve tried for years now to talk to her. I don’t want her to hurt you.” You smiled softly at her concern. Turning to face her, you took hold of her right hand and clasped it between both of your own. Her expression softened at the warmth of your hands and the sight of your grin.

“Allison, I promise everything will be okay. She’s surprisingly never hurt me before, so I’m sure this time won’t be any different.” She seemed uneasy again. “I know she’s been…"peaceful" with you in the past, but she’s incredibly unpredictable. She could turn on you in the blink of an eye.”

A quiet sigh slipped through your lips and you nodded. “I know. Listen,” you squeezed her hand as you spoke. “I promise that if anything happens, I’ll get away from her as fast as I can, and I’ll hide away until I can get back, or at least until you or Tom can find me, okay?”

Something in her eyes seemed to show that she didn’t trust your words. She knew she could trust you, and that you likely could get away if you needed to, as you promised, but that didn’t take away her growing fear of losing you to the very woman she tried to help her entire life down in the studio they had shared. Still, she could only nod and ask you to be careful. She watched with slight panic when you slipped through the door and disappeared down the halls. She prayed she’d see you again. Alive.

“Alice, I’m not trying to start an argument. I’m just saying it might be good to find a more humane way to carry out your experiments. I’m not saying you have to stop doing them,” you explained, trying to keep your voice steady to avoid upsetting Alice even further. Your tone, no matter how calm it was,  still seemed to agitate her. She all but growled at you, finally turning to you and shoving you backward. You flailed your arms in an attempt to steady yourself. She stepped closer soon after and shoved an accusatory finger in your face. “Who do you think you are, telling me what to do and ordering me around?” You stared at her, confused. “Alice,” you started, hands now held up in surrender. “I’m not ordering you to do anything. All I’m saying is–” The Angel shoved you again.

“You will not speak to me and try to control me. Especially not while we’re in my territory.” Her arm swooped up, motioning toward the arena she had made her own in case of an attack. Quickly after, her attention turned back to you, the non-tattered part of her lips stretching further into a scowl. Once more, you offered up a sign of peace, trying your best to calm the situation.

When Alice got as irritated as she seemed to be in that moment, it tended to be best to either do as she said or find common ground. You had no idea how you managed to get her to spare you for this long, but you certainly didn’t want to ruin it and lose your life. You had promised Allison that you’d come home, and you didn’t intend to break that promise.

“Alice, I promise I’m not trying to upset you here. We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to, I just wanted to give my opinion on what you’re doing. I see now that was a mistake.” At first, it felt like those words were the correct ones to use in the moment. Her body language seemed to prove you wrong, however. Shoulders tensed and jaw clenched, she raised her hand. Before you had any time to react, the backs of her knuckles came down hard against your cheek, sending you spiraling down.

When you gathered your bearings again, you found that she was now standing over you. Her leg lifted and just as swiftly dropped down. Her heel jabbed you roughly in the stomach and dug itself in, causing you to wail and clutch at her calf. Pathetically, you tried to push her leg away. “You have no right to speak to me that way. Had I wanted someone’s opinion on what I’m doing, I certainly would not have asked someone as incompetent as yourself. You will obey me in my domain, and I am ordering you to keep your mouth shut!”

As best as you could, you let out a weak cough, then begged her to stop. “Please, Alice,” you managed to choke out. “I'm sorry. I just wanted to–” “No!” In a mere second, you were staring down the barrel of her tommy gun. “I’m not sure why I was ever merciful toward you. You’re with that…that copycat, Allison! I should’ve known right away that you were only going to be a thorn in my side.” She stepped closer with a wicked grin, bringing her gun only an inch from the center of your forehead. “Final curtain, honey. Now you won’t burden me ever again.”

Her finger slipped from the side of the guard, hooking around the rugged trigger. She cackled as she studied the fear in your eyes, almost as if she found some sort of sick, twisted delight at the sight. “Bye-bye, baby,” she mocked. Your eyes pinched themselves shut, tingling limbs frozen in shock and terror as you silently readied yourself for the loud crack of your demise. The barrel finally planted itself against your clammy skin.

A loud cry rang out, and the gun finally fired.

One pop, then two.

You remained still on the ground, too afraid to open your eyes.

Still, you were breathing.

You could still hear the now deafening silence that surrounded you.

The sound of your heartbeat hammering against your ribs finally filled your ears.

At length, when you felt no pain where you had been preparing to, you finally let yourself peek at your surroundings. Alice was no longer in front of you, nor was the weapon. Almost instinctively, your hand came up to the center of your forehead, fingertips shakily grazing against the uninjured skin. Your hand dropped back down, allowing you to see that all you had collected was sweat. There was no blood that you could see.

“[Y/N]!” A familiar voice finally called out, snapping you out of your confused trance. When you looked up, Allison was there, concern riddled against her face and contorting her features. “Oh, thank the heavens you’re alive. I was so afraid I hadn’t gotten here in time. Are you alright? She didn’t hurt you too badly, did she?” Her free hand cupped your face. She tilted your head to the side, examining you and searching for any cuts or bruises. The same hand then dropped down to lift your shirt. She winced at the sight of your skin already bruising because of Alice’s heel. You could see she was holding something. You turned your head far enough to see what it was.

There, in her other hand, was the tommy gun that had nearly taken your life shortly before. You finally managed to glimpse around to see where Alice had gone, only to find her on the ground with inky blood pooling around her. There were two visible bullet holes from where you were seated. One in the center of her throat that caused her to gurgle as she gasped for breath, and the other through the lower part of her jaw. Her limbs seemed to twitch and convulse for a brief moment, then stilled. You shivered at the sight, stifling the bile creeping up your throat, then finally returned your attention to the woman in front of you to ignore the reality of the corpse by your side.

“Uh,” you stammered, struggling to form words. Blinking from the sensation of your eyes burning, you felt Allison’s thumb graze over your cheeks to wipe the trickling tears away. “Uh, no, I’m alright.” She sighed heavily in relief. After bringing you up to your feet, she helped to lead you out of the room, supporting your weight against her. Had the gun not still been in her hold, she would’ve picked you up and carried you home. “Where were… how did you get here in time? I thought you were still back at the safe house.”

An anxious look crossed her face. She laughed nervously and glanced up at one of the nearby platforms. “Well, don’t be upset with me, okay?" Wordlessly, you nodded, a sign for her to continue. "After you had told me you were going to speak with Alice, I got really worried, and I ended up following you. I was actually in here before either of you were. I was hiding up there,” she explained, pointing up at the place she had been perched up on before the fight broke out. “At first, I didn’t want to get involved. I trust you, and I know you’re able to get her to calm down most of the time, but when I saw her pull out her gun, I just… I panicked. I had to do something.

“I couldn’t just stand by and watch her kill you, and I couldn't stand the idea of something happening here, out of my control, while I was still home. I would never have been able to forgive myself.” She glanced down at the gun still in her hands. “I’m not sure why my first instinct was to fire at her. It felt like I didn’t have any control over my body. I realized I needed to protect you, and then I sort of,” she paused, trying to find the right word. “Blacked out, I guess.”

You listened intently, unsure of what to say in response. Finally, you glanced down at the ground, watching your feet shakily carry you forward to where Allison was leading you. “Well, either way, thank you. I thought I was a goner back there.” She chuckled weakly and nodded. “Of course. I’ll always find a way to protect you.”

The rest of the walk back to the safe house was silent. The reality of Alice’s death and the fading adrenaline brought both discomfort and exhaustion to the two of you. By the time you made it back, it felt like you were going to collapse any minute. Before that could happen, however, Allison helped you to your room and sat you down on your bed. She left the room, then quickly returned with the makeshift med-kit from the bathroom. “I’ve got some ointment that’ll help with the bruise she gave you. Could you lift your shirt up a bit for me?”

Confused, you obliged, watching as she sat next to you and slid the small jar from the container. How had she known about that?

You hardly remembered that she checked it in the arena. She had even admitted to you that she saw the whole thing happen. Your mind felt fuzzy from all that you had bared witness to.

She unscrewed the cap, scooped up a small amount with the pads of her fingers, then reached down to rub it against your already bruising skin from where Alice had stomped on you. A shiver ran down your spine at how cold it was. She murmured a small apology, though she continued to apply the rest of it.

Eventually, she leaned back and closed the jar. She popped it back into the plastic med-kit box, snapped it shut, then put it away on one of the shelves you kept a few books on near the bed. “That should help it heal a bit faster. I’m sorry I didn’t prevent it in the first place.” You dropped your shirt back down to cover yourself and turned to her.

“Allison, none of this was your fault. You were right. I really should’ve listened to you before I left. There was no reason for me to talk to her about her experiments. I mean, some part of me already knew that she wasn’t going to hear me out, but I still went anyway. I’m just lucky you were there. Otherwise, I’d probably be in Alice’s position: dead on the ground.”

Allison shook her head and grimaced. “Oh, god, I don’t even want to think about that.” You smiled and gently nudged her shoulder.``Well, now you don’t have to. I’m still here right now because of you.” Her lips perked up, mirroring your grin. She seemed to want to say something else, but once you let out a loud yawn, she decided against it. After double checking that you were free of any other injuries, she stood from her spot on the mattress and trailed over to the door. “Well, I’ll let you rest. Don’t be afraid to come get me if you need anything else, alright?”

You nodded up at her. Already, you were climbing underneath the covers and reaching to turn off the bedside lamp. “Thanks again, Allison,” you whispered just loud enough for her to hear before she left. “Of course, darling.” She then stepped out into the hall and shut the door silently behind her. Tom would be out much longer, she knew that, considering he was scrounging around for more scraps to add to their food supply. With how scarce it was, he’d likely be gone for a few days. There was no one else she could talk to about her growing fears. She sighed and went to her room.

Once she was alone, she plopped down onto her bed and let her head fall into her hands. “That was too close,” she mumbled. “I should’ve been there sooner. Acted sooner. I could’ve lost her.”

Her mind continued to race for over an hour, even long after she had shut off the overhead light and bundled herself under her blankets. She stared up at the ceiling once she realized she wouldn’t be getting any sleep anytime soon. The calloused tips of her fingers picked at the frayed fabric of the weighted blanket on top of her.

Although she repeatedly tried to remind herself that you were perfectly alright in the next room over and were going to recover from your minor injury, the reality that you had almost been ripped away from her because of someone she had tried to help for years set in and overwhelmed every thought that crossed her mind. Tears pricked her eyes and trickled down her temples, disappearing into her hairline.

She figured she had been lying there for hours by the time she decided she’d do something about her fears. Swiftly, her arms shoved the comforter away. With trembling legs, she trudged out of bed and left her room. She returned to stand in front of your door, which she opened slowly to ensure she didn’t wake you.

At first, she only sat near you on the bed, watching over you in case you woke up needing something. But she quickly realized that her eyes were growing heavy from fatigue. Somehow, just by seeing that you were still breathing and peacefully sleeping, her mind seemed to finally settle and let her relax. It helped ground her into the present rather than letting her dwell over the haunting image she still had about what would’ve happened if she hadn’t gotten to you in time.

She sighed, rubbing her eyes with her palms and glancing over at the clock you kept hung beside the door. It had been around four hours since she was last in there with you, yet it felt like it had been an eternity for her. As slowly and carefully as she could, she climbed over beside you, shuffling forward to join you under the covers. She rested on her side, greeted with the sight of your back still facing her.

Involuntarily, her hand slid up from its place on the pillow next to her head to place itself on the center of your back. There, she could feel your heart beating safely behind your ribs.

Similar to before, though under different circumstances, it felt like she had no control over her body. She shifted closer to you and pulled you against her, letting her head fall against your back to help her better feel and hear your heartbeat. Cold, strong arms wrapped themselves around you and tugged you even further against her form.

“I’m so glad you’re safe,” she muttered more to herself than you. “I don’t know how I would’ve reacted if I hadn’t managed to stop her from hurting you again. I don’t think I could’ve kept going. And if Tom weren’t still here, I certainly would’ve given up. The two of you are all I have, and even though I’ve known Tom for so long, I can’t help but fear losing you more. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, and I honestly think I’ve fallen in love with you. Of course, I have no memory of who I was before I showed up here, so I can’t pull these feelings from anything I might’ve experienced, but it feels like the right term to me.

“I do love you, [Y/N]. I just wish I was able to say it to your face. You’re everything to me, and even though I know you’d still care for me and we’d still be close, I can’t help but fear the idea of you rejecting me or not feeling the same. There’s not much I can offer you down here in the studio, but I want to give you the best life I possibly can. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, regardless of how things turn out between us. I don’t ever want us to grow apart.

“I think that’s why I lost control when I saw how Alice was going to kill you so easily. I’ve never been so quick to kill someone. I like to believe that everyone down here deserves another chance to find themselves again, but I feel like Alice was a lost cause, and seeing her standing over you like that only confirmed it for me. No matter what I did for her, she always seemed to be angry at the world–at herself, too. I was terrified when I saw her point that damned gun at your head. When I can physically bring myself to, I want to throw it into the river of ink downstairs so I'll never have to see it again.

“I don’t think I could go every single day seeing the very thing that nearly stole you from me. I know Alice was the one controlling it, but it brings back too many bad memories and ideas. I just…”

She sucked in a breath, nuzzling her face against your back and sighing when she could pick up the scent of your shampoo and the fragrance you always liked to wear. The feeling of your warmth and soft shirt against her skin helped bring a stronger sense of comfort. Instantly, it calmed her. “I just want you to know that I’ll always do anything I can to keep you safe. Not just from Alice, even though we most likely won’t have to worry about her anymore, but from everything. Including the Ink Demon. If I have to lay down my life to make sure you can live out the entirety of yours, I’ll do it.”

Finally, after so long of struggling to do so, her eyes fluttered shut. A yawn slipped from her lips and she murmured something to herself for a moment. Just as she almost drifted all the way off, the feeling of you shuffling and squirming in her arms brought her back to half-consciousness. She glanced over at you, finding that you had rolled over and shimmied your way beneath the covers to press your head against her chest. She couldn’t help but beam down at you and hug you closer.

Drowsily, she leaned down enough to press a featherlike kiss to the top of your head. Her chin then dropped to rest where her lips had just been, eyes closing once more. Her grip on you stayed firm, even after she had fallen asleep. As long as she knew you were there, safe in her arms, she was confident that everything would be alright.