Fanfic-corner - Lina's Fanfic Corner

I know I've already posted about this but I am begging you to check out The Castiel Project because it is such a wonderful idea and I am so moved by everyone who has donated!

If you're more of a Dean fan, there is also this fundraiser for NAMI, a mental illness related charity, in his name.

It's amazing how the fandom has come together, even when we were given the shittiest ending possible.

If you can, help something good come out of this shitshow.

The Castiel Project

Really dont wanna think about the finale rn cos YIKES but if you could pick a scene that you personally thought you could've done WAYY better from any episode and write about it i think that'd be super cool

Sorry it took me so long to write this, I've had to do it on my phone because I've not had access to my laptop! If I'm being completely honest, I think anyone with a brain cell could have written a better scene than the entire finale, but since I saw the pie scene first and it very much stressed me out before the episode aired, I've decided to rewrite that one. Hope you enjoy!

On AO3.

Stress Cannot Exist in the Presence of a Pie

"I'm not Sad Sam," his brother protests, and Dean immediately regrets asking, because he knows exactly what's coming next. "I'm just thinking about Cas. And Jack. If they could be here-"

"Yeah, I think about him too," Dean interrupts before Sam can continue. He's been putting on an Oscar-worthy performance of pretending to be okay, when in reality he feels like a part of him died with Cas. Some of his liver certainly did.

"You know that pain's not gonna go away, right?" He adds, even though they know that better than most. "But if we don't keep living then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing."

Sam nods slightly - they've been through the charade of losing a loved one enough times that he knows he is right - but the reminder wasn't really for him.

Dean clears his throat, eager to change the topic before he has to think about his messy emotions more than he already has. He can do that later, where Sam can't see him and he has a bottle to help ease the pain. "Quit being a freaking Eeyore. Come on, get into this!" He says, gesturing wildly at the selection of pies he had brought over.

"What's an 'Eeyore'?" A familiar voice asks from behind them, and Dean swears his heart actually stops. Even Sam stays completely still for a moment, but he manages to swivel in his seat to see it really is-

"Cas?" Sam exhales.

Dean finally allows himself to turn his head slowly, his heart now thumping faster than the time he had chased a vamp for fifteen blocks and his head pounding worse than any hangover he had ever experienced.

Sure enough, there stands the familiar angel, his trenchcoat still stubbornly crumbled and his piercing blue eyes turned to the ground. There is a tight expression on his face. Dean could swear it was shame, but he can't fathom why.

"Hello, Dean." Cas greets, ignoring Sam.

Dean stands up suddenly, the pies slipping onto the ground in a messy heap, clambers over the bench to where Cas is standing perfectly still, and he grips him gently.

"You stupid son of a bitch," he says into Cas' neck as he pulls him into a hug. "Never fucking do that again."

They stay there, wrapped in each other's arms, for much too long, only pulling apart when Sam mutters something about getting more pie, a broad smile on his face.

Dean waits until he has disappeared into the crowd before speaking again, his hands still clinging desperately to Cas' shoulders. He knows it is probably stupid, but he feels like Cas will vanish if he lets go. "How are you back?"

"Jack," he replied, uncertainty poisoning his tone. "Dean, about what I said…"

"I love you too, dumbass." 

Cas' head snaps up and he stares at Dean for a long moment. "You do?"

"'Course I do. Have done for years." Dean answers with an easy grin. "Now, let's go get you some pie."

I am forcing myself to watch the scene where Bobby explains the changes in Heaven so I can write a fix it but I can’t even see the screen because my eyes are sob blurry with tears

I've had five full on crying meltdowns today, and I am finding it impossible to explain to people who don't watch the show. I feel this massive sense of shame, and I can't tell whether it is because I know that the show will go down in history as having one of tv's worst endings, or because I am embarrassed that I let myself hope we would have a happy ending.

i really hate being this negative but i feel like this just broke me.

i had resigned myself to disappointment, and then they made me hope. i chose to be brave and believe one last time, because it was the only thing that made sense. i decided to believe that the greatest story i’d ever seen could have a happy ending. and they reached out to meticulously crush me in every single way possible.

i can’t stop thinking about it, i can’t sleep, i’m still crying, i’m nauseated, my chest aches, none of the fix-it attempts are sticking or giving me relief. i love us for trying to carry on, trying to fix it like we always have, but i just… i feel like something died inside me tonight.

i know that sounds melodramatic, and i wish i could laugh and brush it off, but i don’t know how. i hate them for making me hope. i hate them for making me believe that i could have something good.