fandom-cryptid

Long time ago in a Verse far, far away... I fanned

Older than your average tumblrina; usually too busy working; used to fanart, fanfic and rp. Currently lurking in these fandoms: Supernatural (Destiel & Cockles), Avengers (Stony), Gotham Knights (CW), The Sandman, The Boys, Our Flag Means Death. Likely to pick up more with time. ;P

1532 posts

This First Thing I Thought When I Woke Up From Surgery Was I Am So Hungry And I Need Ramen Right Now!

This first thing I thought when I woke up from surgery was I am so hungry and I need ramen right now! but the second thing I thought was Oh my god, I'm safe.

I was safe.

I thought about having kids someday, but the thought was always divorced from the concept of having to grow them in my body. Whenever I thought about it, I would either start screaming or my mind would shut down. My worst nightmares featured discovering I was pregnant, and realizing I would have to keep it, and go through childbirth. I was terrified.

I got the surgery, and realized I was safe, and I never had those nightmares ever again. It was like finding out I was bulletproof.

Later, I looked at the broken condom, and I didn't see my life flash before my eyes. I didn't see my hopes and dreams turn to ash as I pivoted all my energy into a child I didn't want. I didn't see a possibility of starvation or homelessness because my already modest income went to a child I couldn't afford. I didn't see my disabled body becoming further disabled, or killed, by a pregnancy that I didn't want.

Read more between the pages commentary: https://www.patreon.com/posts/68216364 (free post, no paywall)