5 : 14 AM - Satosugu

5 : 14 AM - satosugu

“Thought you said that you’re quitting, Suguru?”

Suguru smiled at his lover’s face, blowing a smoke ring towards him. Satoru didn’t appreciate it, but considering all the things Suguru has done that he doesn’t appreciate, smoking is easy to forgive. Satoru fanned the cigarette-smell away with a hand. “You said the girls didn’t like you smoking?”

“They don’t.” Suguru answered. He found it a bit cute that Satoru would check up on Nanako and Mimiko indirectly like this. “That’s why I do it secretly.” 

Satoru just grunted his annoyance. He was still lying naked in bed, eyes unwrapped, post-orgasm bliss slowly dissipating into the gnawing frustration that only Geto Suguru could cause. The other man had cleaned both of them up and was now sitting cross legged on the easy-chair next to the bed. They were so close: if both of them looked at each other, their lips would touch.  

Suguru dragged a puff. “The girls follow this idol who’s been pushing for an anti-smoking campaign. Mimiko’s ballet teacher talks about staying healthy a lot too.” The girls are growing up well, Satoru. Don’t worry about them. 

“You won’t listen to me.” Satoru complained. “At least listen to them, then. Stop smoking so much. I can see that your stomach walls are getting weaker.” Suguru looked a bit surprised at this, as if he wasn’t expecting Satoru to bring that up, even though he knew nothing could be hidden from the Six Eyes. It was true, lately Suguru had been finding it harder and harder to stomach curses. “It’s probably the smoke killing your internal organs, Suguru.”

“Ah, it could be a lot of other things, Satoru.” Suguru lightly brushed off his concern, but he did douse the cigarette out anyway. “Stress, diet, could be stomach ulcers– don’t just blame the first thing you see . You still keep doing that?” Satoru was obviously not convinced, but chose not to argue further. He just stared at the ceiling of Suguru’s bedroom. He’d memorised that wallpaper pattern at this point. 

“Aren’t you getting late for work, Satoru? The sun will be rising soon.”

“The sun tends to do that.”

Suguru chuckled. To Satoru, it warmed his skies the same whether he was 17 or 26 years old. Such a delicate, tinkling laugh. “Move aside then, Satoru. I’m tired too,” he said, crawling under the blankets next to Satoru. “Didn’t get much rest last night, and I have to fix up so many monkeys today.”

Suguru liked saying things like that to bait Satoru. Satoru knew that. Suguru knew that Satoru knew that. Neither reacted to it.  

Satoru didn’t enjoy coming to see Suguru like this. Once or twice every year, he would end up in Suguru’s bed, unhappy about the circumstances but unwilling to leave. They’d spend one secret night together. Unlike back in those days where they talked about anything under the sun, they avoided talking about almost everything now. The past was too painful, the future a dead-end. Satoru couldn’t ask, “What did you do today, my Suguru?”, because then his Suguru would answer truthfully and the blind peace that Satoru had woven out of this situation would shatter immediately. So they talked about Shoko, smoking, Nanako and Mimiko, and the state of Suguru’s stomach. 

He could feel Suguru falling asleep in his arms. Satoru raked his eyes over Suguru’s handsome chest, branded with the large X scar. He’d offered to fix it a few times, but Suguru would sternly refuse. He knew that Suguru wore that day on his heart every single day since then, replaying it in his head constantly, until he had brainwashed and re-brainwashed himself to this point. Riko Amanai’s corpse. The applause. That one man. That one day that drove them both to insanity. 

“You’re sweating, Satoru. Take the heavier blanket off and move closer, you’ll be leaving soon anyway.” 

He did.

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a/n: satosugu angst save me. save me satosugu angst. satosugu angst.

i keeping mushing takumi from nana and geto suguru together in my head even though geto would kill him within 15 mins if they met

i love the metaphor of 'willingly blind', gojo choosing to blindfold himself to geto's sins, until the very last moment, which is the only time in canon jjk 0 that gojo finally takes his blindfolds off, and sees geto as he truly is then: dead.

Thanks Gege for simple yet recognizable costume designs

lore drop: reader and noritoshi kamo end up having 4.5 kids.

Satoshi Kamo who later takes the surname Itadori. Conceived in the culling games arc, miscarried, kept in a tube like the Death Paintings, later given physical form and raised by Yuuji (I'll battle canon if I have to). to their dismay, they look perfectly like a 50-50 copy of you and noritoshi. Despite the male name, they are genderless (miscarried before the sex organs were formed, so biologically female ig, but they aren't into the concept of gender) and swing wildly between pansexual and asexual. 'Satoshi' carries the same characters as 'Satoru', meaning 'wisdom, enlightenment, bodhi, clever', being named in his honour (Satoshi doesn't really like that tbh). Satoshi was blessed by Gojo while they were in the womb. As they were conceived and 'born' during the culling games, they have an insane amount of cursed energy, inherited both blood manipulation and distillation (chimeric soul), can do RCT, domain expansions, barriers and new shadow style techniques. They're one of the strongest sorcerers of the post-modern age, far bypassing their parents or siblings. They prefer alt/emo fashion, and really enjoy trying new foods with Yuuji. Even though they're a bit shy and reserved at first glance, they actually have a chibi sunshine personality. Satoshi, having been an incomplete foetus in a jar for a decade, really loves living life to the fullest. Fav food: anything new. will happily try weird food combos.

Naomi Kamo-Zenin, born at a time when reader and Kamo have left Shinjuku and are residing in France. They were unsure if they could go back to japan at this point of time, so they gave her a western-sounding name with japanese characters, meaning 'honest/direct/candid beauty'. technically their firstborn, since Satoshi was miscarried at birth. higher CE than younger siblings. inherited blood manipulation. She likes to go shopping with Chihiro, hates studying (weak at stem subjects), but good with people. She's been raised with the tacit expectation of leading the Kamo-Zenin Clan as the next head and takes it seriously. Looks more like you than Noritoshi even tho she has her dad's personality. Fluent in Japanese, English, French and Mandarin. Fav food: Slightly bitter things like dark chocolate and americanos.

Chihiro Kamo-Zenin, first child born back in Japan. his name means 'a thousand, generous, gentle, wise', with the character 'chi' = blood to represent the newly rebuilt Kamo-Zenin clan, tying them back to their old pure blood and of course, the esteemed blood manipulation technique that he also inherits, along with RCT. he was born at a time when his parents are doing their best to rebuild japan, and was raised by mostly nannies and Naomi in his early years. He's a shy young boy who likes to read books rather than go out, very obedient, intelligent and sensitive. His face is an exact copy of Noritoshi's. higher CE than younger siblings. The higher-ups want him to succeed as the clan head instead of his sister, even though he has no plans to do so. Vey close to Naomi. Fav food: anything dino-shaped.

Elder twin Asahito Kamo-Zenin, 'rising sun'. Younger twin Tsukiko Kamo-Zenin 'daughter of the moon', also named to honour Tsumiki. Megumi was staying with your family at the time of your difficult pregnancy with the twins. After their parents, he was the first person to hold them, and is very attached to both of them. the twins share both their (kinda low) CE and CT, i.e. at any point of time, only of them can use the Ten Shadows technique, which was a surprise to everyone including Megumi, who had to teach them how to control it. the twins are attached at the hip to each other, read each others minds, and do their best to be absolute menaces, being the only extroverts in the most introverted family. They haven't tamed anything other than the divine dogs yet. They mostly look like you but with their father's eyes. Fav food: Asahito likes crab platters and Tsukiko likes cold soba noodles.

bff