Obaa-Chan VS Uselessness

Obaa-Chan VS Uselessness

Sakura Haruno is and was a character who divided the Naruto Fandom. The most common argument against her was that she was useless. Now what one shall do if you are reborn as her? Our elderly MC for sure will do anything, do not be her!

Or:

An 85-year-old granny and Naruto Fan gets reborn into the Shinobi world as Sakura Haruno. Rejected canon and modeled herself after Mitsuri Kanroji from Demon Slayer.

Prolog: I'm too old to be reborn!

Let's make one thing clear.

I'm not some 16-year-old girl who got hit by a truck and got isekai into an anime world.

I'm old.

Really old.

85 years old.

I got wrinkles and white hair and I'm a bit chubby.

I lived a long and fulfilling life. 

I read, watched, and bought anime, traveled the world, enjoyed the company of friends and family, found a job I adored, and adopted two amazing kids, a boy and a girl, who had children and made me a proud grandmother of seven kids.

I was happy.

Even if I didn’t find someone to share my life with.

I enjoyed being a cute grandma and showing my grandchildren some classic animes like Naruto, One Piece, Bleach, you name it, and not that futurist shit they have now.

Bah, just the names are awful. And even thinking about the plots just gives me a headache.

What, I'm trying to say is that the wish to get Isekai into a beloved anime was not there anymore.

I was at peace with the life I had.

As it was time to die, I was a bit scared, but I hoped to get into heaven and meet my deceased family again.

It only saddened me that I couldn't see what my youngest grandchildren would do with their lives, but I was sure they would find their way.

So no regrets.

No wish to have a new life.

I was ready for the afterlife.

So why, WHY, did I suddenly wake up in an unfamiliar bedroom, feeling so young and full of energy?

I was shocked.

Was this heaven?

As I stood up and scanned the room I noted how Japanese everything was.

Well, Japan was for me like my second home. Till I could I tried to travel there at least once every two years.

So okay, my afterlife was styled after the country I had loved so much in life.

Nothing to worry about.

When I looked into the mirror standing in a corner of the room, I started to scream!

Long pink hair.

Large forehead.

Green Eyes.

Small body with tiny breasts and waist.

This was not my body! Not even my younger one!

But I knew the person in the mirror!

"I'M SAKURA HARUNO!", I yelled in perfect Japanese. "WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!"

If God or whoever was responsible for this isekai then why Sakura?

Couldn't I be Rin and live my teenage dream of dating Obito?

Couldn't I be Naruto and marry my beloved Hinata?

Nooooo, it had to be the fangirl!

This sucks!

I don't wanna marry Sasuke!

No, no, no!

Sorry Sarada.

I have no desire to be the medic and the most useless team member.

Yes I know Kishimoto was bad a writing female characters.

Doesn't change the fact that Sakura was a huge bitch to Naruto most of the time, mooned over Sasuke, destroyed her friendship with Ino for a boy, and even with the tools Tsunade gave her she just faded into the background.

Okay, she punched Kaguya, a literal goddess, which was cool, so Sasuke and Naruto could seal her but…I just don't want to be Sakura.

I mean what can I do?

Sakura has amazing chakra control and masters Tsunade's seal at a young age, it just is not for me.

If I would be Rin or Naruto I would be a Jinchuriki and you bet your ass I would make the best out of that and become a literal deity!

So one thing is clear…I will not follow Sakura's canon path, nothing in the nine circles of hell will make me marry Sasuke the duckbutt, again sorry Sarada, and just wind up as medic-nin.

No, I will carve my own path!

And I know who will be my role model.

I find some hair ties and start to braid my hair in three braids.

No one said I couldn't get inspired by another anime.

I will introduce the power of Breathing Styles into the Naruto World and become his Love Hashira.

Yep, I will go the Mitsuri Kanroji way! 

Minus finding the husband thing. Since I don’t think I can snatch up Obito, one he is way older than Sakura-me, and two I don’t know how to save his ass and I want that NaruHina sails.

It was my first OTP and I will kill anybody who gets in the way of it!

Dattebane!

Even if I will sob into my champagne glass at their wedding since I can’t marry Hinata-Chan myself.

My hair is finished and I nod to myself.

Much better.

Now to find some clothes to fit the aesthetic.

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Obaa-Chan VS Uselessness

Sakura Haruno is and was a character who divided the Naruto Fandom. The most common argument against her was that she was useless. Now what one shall do if you are reborn as her? Our elderly MC for sure will do anything, do not be her!

Or:

An 85-year-old granny and Naruto Fan gets reborn into the Shinobi world as Sakura Haruno. Rejected canon and modeled herself after Mitsuri Kanroji from Demon Slayer.

Chapter 1: The new Sakura

Maybe God or whoever put me in this position had a bit of mercy on me.

First I didn’t wake up Sakura, now my parents, after I screamed about my situation and second I woke up early enough in the morning, to get breakfast and go shopping for some Ninja Gear.

What Sakura owned differed from my style and Mitsuri Kanroji's; I needed to buy a new wardrobe.

Also let me tell you it was so strange being treated like a kid again, like a daughter, after three decades. I lost my parents sadly one after another in a short time.

Kizashi and Mebuki were nice people, without question, but I yearned for my parents since I was young again.

For the moment I ignored the feeling and looked around the clothing store I was in to find my new ninja gear.

Sakura's red battle dress, which I wore, would land in the trash soon.

I didn’t find 100% Mitsuri clothes, but the outfit had the colours of her uniform. A simple T-shirt with white sleeves, mesh armour under and pants in the same cooler. I also wore black fingerless gloves, the Ninja shoes stayed the same and I put my headband sideways on my hips.

Happy but a lot Ryo poorer I made my way to the Ninja Academy.

It’s a shame I woke up here when Team 7 got started. How should I get my Kenjutsu good enough before we reach the Wave Arc?

Zabuza and Haku are a headache just waiting for me.

I could bemoan my destiny or just wing it and I decided to just wing it.

I knew what was gonna happen, this was a huge advantage already.

No stress.

Let’s get this day over and tomorrow the Bell Test and then let’s see if I could start my Kenjutsu and testing if Breathing Styles worked here.

Thanks to Sakura’s memories I inherited, how else would I have found the clothing store, I reached the Academy without problems.

I slipped into the classroom sitting down on the first free seat I saw. No way, would I stand with the fangirls, worshipping Sasuke.

Slowly the classroom filled and since I didn’t want to sit between Naruto and Sasuke, Ino snatched the place.

She looked so smug.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Even heard hearing the cries of unfairness from the nameless fangirls.

Finally, Iruka-Sensei arrived and the class calmed down. He gave us all a proud and happy smile.

“Starting today, you are all official ninjas, but…You all are still new Genin…”

I started to zoom out since I knew his whole speech and waited when he started calling for the Teams.

And here it comes…

“Next the 7th group, Uzumaki Naruto. Haruno Sakura-”

 Happy Naruto jumped up from his seat, shouting a yeah and searched the classroom for me.

“Sakura-Chan! Sakura-Chan! Hey! We are in a team!”, he hollered.

Most expected me to be disappointed, I saw it in their looks, but I’m not this Sakura. I’m my version of Sakura.

So I just gave him a nod.

That everybody was shocked was the understatement of the century. Ino looked at me as if I lost my marbles and Naruto was confused, yet smiled happily.

His happy smile fell as Iruka-Sensei called for the last name.

“Uchiha Sasuke!”

Like a balloon that lost air Naruto grumbled down on his seat, bemoening his destiny.

Ino again searched my eyes, sure waiting that I rubbed it under her nose that I was with Sasuke, I just deadpanned.

This freaked her out more and I could swerve she cursed quietly.

I had to fight a snort.

This could be so much fun to mess with these youngsters. I may be again 13 years old, but I’m still old in mind.

I may have found another hobby.

After Naruto complains about being with Sasuke in a Team and Iruka-Sensei lectures him we are dismissed till our Jonin-Senseis show up to pick us up.

If hellhounds were after her Ino runs up my seat, hissing: “What the hell, forehead?!”

I'm just deadpan.

“If you wanna complain about being in a team with Shikamaru and Choji while I’m with Sasuke take it up with Iruka-Sensei.”

“This is not…Sakura what’s wrong with you? You dress differently and what have you done with your hair? You aren’t yourself!”

Cool as a cucumber I stand up and put my hands in my pantspocket.

“Ino. We are Ninjas now. In the eyes of the village, we are adults. It’s time to grow up.”

Dramatically I leave the classroom, leaving a flabbergasted Ino behind.

I don’t get far enough since Naruto catches up to me.

“Sakura-Chan!”, he yells. The boy needs to learn to keep his voice down. “Let’s eat together since we’re in the same group now.”

For a moment I wondered if we should invite Sasuke, but knowing the Uchiha he wouldn’t come surely. Another time we will try to bond with him.

So I said simply to Naruto: “Sure. Ichiraku Ramen sounds good?”

The joy on his face is so bright he could light up a whole town with it.

Wish I had a camera to take a pic and give it to Hinata. She would surely appreciate it.

He takes my arm and drags me to the Ramen Shop.

Lunch with Naruto is… interesting. The boy really talks about nothing and all. Reminds me of my youngest grandchild, my little Haru.

Like with him, I want to coo at Naruto and just pinch his adorable whisker cheeks, but I can stop myself.

It would be too weird.

Also, I’m trying to make clear to Naruto that I never want to that him.

I quite literally said: “Naruto, this is not a date and never will I date you. I’m simply not interested, but we can be friends.”

He seemed sad, yet happy that I wanted to be his friend.

Let’s hope it got to his thick skull and his crush on Sakura will die in the next few episodes…I should probably say weeks.

This is my life now, not an anime.

Ichiraku’s Ramen was so good, that I will definitely come here to eat.

With thank you’s to Teuchi and Ayame we make our way back to the academy.

Nothing really exciting happens after we sit down by Sasuke. The Uchiha did give me a suspicious look, but I just gave him a friendly nod and talked with Naruto about how good our lunch was.

Slowly but surely the Jonin Senseis came to pick up their teams, and then Iruka-Sensei left too, so we, Team 7, were all alone in the classroom.

I knew we would be waiting for a long time so I got out a notebook and began to draw. 

In my old life, I worked as an illustrator for children's books. 

I always liked drawing, I even learned to draw in Kishimoto’s Style. 

Maybe, in my younger days, I have drawn some NaruHina doujinshi, hust.

Anyway, I was drawing a scene with a mother who had her little girl sitting on her lap, both smiling loving at each other as Naruto shrieked: “He is late!”

“Just sit down and stop looking out the door. It will not make our Sensei appear faster.”, I told him, starting to shade.

“How can I when our sensei is the only one late?! All the other groups went somewhere with their sensei and Iruke-Sensei went already home.”

“We know Naruto, but it doesn’t change anything.”

I don't look up from my drawing while Naruto starts to set up his prank for Kakshi. Sasuke tells him that a Jonin would never fall for such a prank and that’s when I look up and see our dear Sensei Kakashi walk in as the eraser hits him on the head.

I snorted loudly, Naruto laughed, while Sasuke was just disappointed in the Jonin.

“How should I say this…”, musses Kakashi. “My first impression of your guys is…I hate you.”

Sasuke and Naruto frown, while I just deadpan.

We follow Kakshi to the roof.

Time to introduce us to each other.

I let it play out like in the canon timeline and Kakashi starts: “I’m Hatake Kakashi. I have no intention of telling you my likes and dislikes. As for my dream…I have a few hobbies.”

“What a letdown.”, I whisper to Naruto and Sasuke. “He only told us his name.”

Naruto nods in agreement.

It’s also now his turn.

“I’m Uzumaki Naruto. I like cup ramen. But I like the ramen at Ichiraku that Iruka-Sensei bought for me even more. I hate the three minutes that I have to wait after I put the hot water. My hobby is to eat and compare cup ramen! And my dream is to become greater than the Hokages. I’m going to make all the villagers recognise my existence.”

Kakashi-Sensei tells me now to go.

“I’m Haruno Sakura. I like travelling and learning new things. What I hate is ignorance and blindless hate. My hobbies include drawing, collecting mangas and knitting. My dream is to become a powerful kunoichi and show all chauvinistic pigs how strong a woman can be! Also, I would like to illustrate stories for children and one day have a family. I want to adopt.”

The looks I earn are priceless. 

Kakashi-Sensei seems utterly surprised, but approving, Sasuke frowns deepens and Naruto grins at me. I saw how for a short moment he was teary-eyed as I said I wanted to adopt in the future. Surely he thought about how he wished someone had adopted him.

Poor baby.

I will tell Hinata to give you a lot of kisses and hugs.

Now it’s our avenger turn.

“My name is Uchiha Sasuke. There are many things that I hate, and there aren’t a lot of things that I like. Also, I have an ambition that I have no intention to leave as just a dream. The revival of my clan, and killing a certain man.”

Another poor baby.

I wish I could tell him that Itachi isn’t the bad guy here, but an enormous asshole named Danzo.

Maybe if I somehow find proof…maybe I could avoid Itachi's death and Sasuke's intention to off Kohana.

If we had Itachi and Sasuke in the war with us it would give us an edge towards Obito, Madara, Black Zetsu and Kaguya.

Wait…if I destroy the Gedo Mazo and Black Zetsu before all this can happen then we could really get a happy end here.

Many unnecessary deaths, like Neji, could be avoided.

But how in the nine circles of hell should I pull this off?

I was so busy with my own plans, that I nearly didn’t hear how Kakshi explained to us the survival training and the fail rate of over 66.6%.

Oh, time to mess now with him a little.

“It means we have a 33.3% chance of passing, this are good enough odds in my book.”, I proclaim confidently.

This lifts my teammate's spirit up, while Kakshi I could swerve pouts a bit.

With a warning to us not to eat anything or we will puke, he leaves.

Well, first-day masterd, second day, the Bell Test in progress.

Obaa-Chan VS Uselessness Index

Sakura Haruno is and was a character who divided the Naruto Fandom. The most common argument against her was that she was useless. Now what one shall do if you are reborn as her? Our elderly MC for sure will do anything, do not be her!

Or:

An 85-year-old granny and Naruto Fan gets reborn into the Shinobi world as Sakura Haruno. Rejected canon and modeled herself after Mitsuri Kanroji from Demon Slayer.

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Taking a break

Hi, my loves!

I know, I should work on my 100000000 fanfic I have and read and comment on the fanfictions I follow, but right now I lack the motivation.

I will be going on Hiatus for a while to regain energy and enjoy my summer.

Please accept my decision.

Wish you all a happy summer!

The Magician's Quest Index

SoT AU: Her homeland invaded, her parents died, and all Magic was outlawed. Dark Magician N.K. is on the run from the Inquisition, who wants nothing more than to burn her at a stake. She finds herself in Zaron, the Human Kingdom, not knowing that she stepped into a war for the most powerful relict of them all. A legend, which is reality. The Stick of Truth.

Prologue

Chapter 1

To Belong Index

She was the weird foreign girl, he was the most useless Viking in the history of Berk. Together they were just Leandra and Hiccup. Two best friends who searched for their place in the world. Would their search for it unite or separate them?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8