Can I Please Request Ellie X Reader Whos Dealing With Panick Attacks But She Doesnt Understand Why Shes

can i please request ellie x reader who’s dealing with panick attacks but she doesn’t understand why she’s feeling bad wich makes her feel worse? i don’t know if it makes any sense srry😭😭😭

luv ur writing sm!!!!

cw: mental health issues, mentions of panic attacks, this is a little angsty!

a/n: thank you for requesting! i did tweak it just a tiny bit i hope that's okay!

it's been like this for the past couple of weeks but you couldn't understand why. jackson was a safe community with a ton of protection yet the nights where you shot out of bed, shaking and crying became more frequent. you can't remember what the dreams were but they left you in shambles every time.

tonight happened to be one of those nights

your breathing was labored, hands shaking as your eyes darted around trying to ground yourself. the darkness enveloped you causing your breathing to get more erratic. whimpers escaped your lips as your hands patted the side of the bed ellie usually slept on. you knew she would help you.

there was nothing.

you shakily pull yourself out of bed and pull open your bedroom door. she was sitting on the couch with her guitar sitting on her lap. her eyes snapped to your shaking figure, concern replaced the once relaxed look.

"hey, hey," she whispered, placing her guitar to the side before she made her way over to you, "what's wrong baby?"

you couldn't breathe. your chest moved rapidly up and down as you tried to catch your breath.

you managed to gasp out a strangled 'i don't know,' before ellie was gently dragging you to the couch, taking your body in her arms. she rocked you back and forth slowly while whispering sweet nothings. the smell that lingered on her hoodie reminded you of home. her large hands helped soothe you just enough to catch your breath, air flowing into your lungs.

ellie noticed your calming state, pulling you from her chest so she can look at you, "can you tell me what's wrong now?" her voice was soft.

you tried to blink away the tears that clouded your vision, "i have these dreams," you pause to take a deep breath, "that something happens to jackson — something happens to you and it, it makes me feel so, just so-" you wrap your arms around her as you can't finish the though you have.

her arms go back around you as she begins to speak, "jackson is safe, there is no reason to worry. and i can promise you nothing is happening to me." she chuckles at her statement but your chest tightens.

you shake your head, "we don't know that ellie." your voice strained as you though of the worst.

her hands gently rest on your jaw pulling you to look at her, "as long as you are here, i will be. i'll never let anything happen to you. okay?"

you sigh, "okay."

thank you guys for all of the requests!! i promise this weekend ill try to get to most of them <33

hello! im a new ellie writer named cherry!

i am taking requests rn for headcanons and other things!

i am comfortable writing smut but it will most likely be in headcanon form so if you request that be aware!!

excited to start writing more and more for you guys MWAH (*≧▽≦)

falling in love at a coffee shop pt. 2 [ELLIE W]

summary: you used to hate coffee but now it wasn't so bad

genre: fluff

wc: 2k

a/n: i rewrote a couple of things, nothing major, but i was re-reading it and it just didn't flow as well so that's why i took it down. thank you guys for being so patient !

part one

The phone sitting in front of your face was taunting you. Its bright screen glared into your eyes. You had the contacts app pulled up with your cup in hand. All you needed to do was put the number in your contacts and send a short message to the barista. It really isn't that difficult but the barista made you so nervous.

Ellie.

The name made the end of your lips curl into a small smile. It was a pretty name. Simple but pretty. Just like her. You thought of the way her hands flexed while she made the orders. Her hair seemed to spill out of its low bun, framing her face with loose pieces. Your thoughts trailed back to the way her hands looked while she poured the concoctions together. 

Shaking your head, you grab your phone again. You put the number in your contacts and put the phone face down on your desk. Step one is completed.

"Have you done it yet?" Dina walks into your room with a bag of chips. You give her a grunt to acknowledge her question. You hear her rustling around behind you.

"I just have to text her now," You fully turn toward your friend who was now sitting on your bed, "What do I say? I don't want to make it weird."

She shakes her head, putting the bag of chips beside her, "It won't be weird! Just be casual about it." Her legs cross as she gets more comfortable. She always treated your room like it was hers. You didn't mind, though.

Hey! This is the girl from the coffee shop. The coffee was great!

"Now I just need to send it," You whisper to yourself, finger hovering over the send button, "Why is this so hard?"

Your finger hovers over the send button. Your bottom lip is in between your teeth as your heart begins to pound against your ribcage. You wonder if that was normal or not.

You don't hear Dina sliding off the bed, sneaking up behind you until her finger hits the send button. You squeak out of pure terror at this, turning toward her. Your phone falls onto the desk in front of you.

She is doubled over laughing at your reaction. Her hands are on her knees while tears squeeze at the corners of her eyes.

"Holy shit," She grumbles, "You should've seen your face!" 

You clamber to grab the phone again. You look back at the message reading over it to make sure it was all spelled correctly. It looked alright. But it could've had a little more substance to it. Was it too dry? Was Ellie going to think that it was a weird first message? You groan loudly, slinking back in your chair.

"Dina," You elongate the 'a' in her name, "I wanted to read over it a couple more times! What if she thinks I'm not interested or something? It's such a dry message!"

She pats your shoulder, "I think she knows, my friend. Why else would she give you coffee for free?"

"That's just jumping to conclus-" Your sentence is cut off by the chiming of your phone. Dina's eyes shoot wide at the sound. Your mouth hangs open in shock. You cannot believe she was so quick. Neither can Dina apparently. The two of you sit there in complete silence for a moment before she scrambles to read the message.

Her eyes read over the message a couple of times. She squeals, looking at you with eagerness you've never seen before, "Oh man! This is golden."

You feel your stomach flipping, "What does it say? I don't think I can read it. No, I definitely cant read it." 

She does the honor of reading the message, "Hey, pretty girl, Thanks for texting me. I will see you around?" Dina's voice is a fake deep sultry sound while she reads.

You put your hands over your face, "No fucking way. She called me a pretty girl."

Dina's voice goes back to normal, "Yes fucking way! She thinks you're pretty," She sings in an opera-like voice causing you to giggle, "I'm going to text back. Is that fine with you?" You don't have any energy to protest. The feeling of being called a pretty girl overtakes your mind and body. 

Is this what love felt like? No, it was too early. Infatuation? That's more likely. It was a great feeling, no matter what. Thinking of Ellie reading your message brought a smile to your face. You wondered if she got butterflies when your message popped on her screen. You hoped you elicited that sort of reaction from her.

"Okay," Dina's voice snapped you out of your trance, "I told her you would come by later to pick us up some coffee."

You shoot out of your seat, "What?!" 

Dina shrugs, "I'm kinda in love with the coffee, you are kinda in love with the barista. Just makes sense."

She wasn't wrong. It kinda made you ill how much she knew you.

--

The weather was beginning to change slowly around you. Gone were the days of warm weather. You were going to miss the sun beaming down at you while you walked to class. It was transforming into fall at a rapid pace. The leaves fell in a flurry all around you while the wind whipped at your face, leaving it red. Fall always made you melancholy. You hated leaving the warm, carefree weather behind to enter cold and gloomy. Just around the corner was even harsher climate. Your shoulders dropped at the thought of Winter making it's yearly appearance.

The coffee shop was now in your line of sight. The lights in the window twinkled, welcoming you in. There was a sign sitting out front detailing the hours and what sort of special drinks they had. It looked like Ellie's handwriting. It was a sad attempt at bubble letters. The lettering had you snickering while a warm feeling spread through your chest at the thought of her.

You grasped your backpack straps harder as you approached the door. You tried to see if she was in the back making drinks but a couple of plants were blocking your vision. You took a deep breath to calm your nerves before pushing into the coffee shop.

She was steaming milk when you walked in. The cashier greeted you to which you smiled at him before going back to looking at her. She was so pretty. Her hands worked in fast movements, crafting a drink for the other patron in the store. When you took a couple more steps into the shop, she finally looked up at you. A blush crept on her face as she gave you a smile. You were glad she acknowledged you.

"What can I get for you today?" The guy at the register snapped you out of your daze.

You stutter, "Oh, uh, Can I get, uh-"

"You want your regular?" She speaks up from where she was making drinks.

You nod at her, not able to form the words. It was like she had you under hypnosis. Just the mere sound of her voice made your brain lock up, unable to form a sentence.

She makes her way to the cash register, gently pushing the guy out of the way, and taps on the screen in front of her. The register dings signaling the order was put in the system.

"I'll get it ready for you." Her voice was smooth as she nonchalantly walked back to her area. The guy smiled awkwardly, motioning for you to walk to the pick-up area.

You sigh, faking exasperation, "You know," Your voice catches her attention, "I'm going to have to pay you back this time." She scoffs at your remark, a smirk gracing her lips. 

She shakes her head, "There's no way in hell I'm letting you pay." Her hands work fast on your drink. You wish she would slow down. All you want to do is stare at her for longer than you usually get to. You couldn't help but look at the tattoo on her forearm flexing as she reached around the counter.

"The store is going to go bankrupt because of me," You see her roll her eyes at your dramatic statement, "Next time, let me pay."

"I'm the owner," This genuinely shocks you. You thought she was just a worker, "I can do whatever I want."

"Ellie." You say in a warning tone. Her hands falter a little bit at you saying her name. She seems a little taken aback at the way her name sounded on your lips. But it doesn't take long for her to begin working again. 

"Ok," She resigns, "Next time, you will pay." She hands you two drinks. It was cute she knew Dina's order as well.

"Thank you for this." You hold both drinks up with a smile. She smiles back at you, eyes scrunching up. It was the cutest thing you have seen in a while.

She speaks up, stopping you from leaving the shop, "See you tomorrow?" Her hand came up to scratch at her neck.

Cute.

"Yeah," You were shocked at her words but went with it, "See you tomorrow!"

--

That's how the next week went. You would get up every morning, fix your hair, and do your makeup just so you could see the barista at your local coffee shop for no longer than 10 minutes. She would beam at you every single time you walked in. One day, she even complimented your earrings. That alone made it worth it.

It was a fight to pay, though.

You learned that Ellie was lying about letting you pay. She fought with you for five minutes the following day, thankfully, the cashier took your card when she turned around to grab hers. She looked at him as if he sacrificed a whole bloodline but he just shrugged at Ellie's dramatics. You learned his name was Jesse and that he had been working there as long as Ellie opened it. They had been friends for a while before she opened the shop too.

Dina commented that there was a spring in your step now. You just brushed her off but deep down you realized she was right. You felt freer. The leaves falling around you just reminded you of the beauty in life when it would make you a little sad before. You loved the way the wind hit your face. The chill of the air made you smile now.

This was just from seeing her briefly.

When you imagine going on proper dates with her or speaking to her for extended periods of time, your heart begins to beat faster against your chest. You wanted to see what she looked like when she was happy. You wanted to see her angry face or the way she looked when a movie she was watching made her well up.

You were falling for her hard.

When the text dinged on your phone you couldn't hide your cheesy smile from Dina, who has been as ecstatic as you throughout this entire journey.

"Do you want to come over and watch this cheesy 80s horror movie I found at the video store?" You read to Dina who flopped on her back, screaming into a pillow.

You couldn't help but thrash around in excitement with her.

She lifted her body back up, rigid with excitement, "What did you say? Tell me." She bites her bottom lip anticipating your answer.

You laugh, "Of course, I said yes!"

The two of you resume screaming at the situation. Even when someone pounded on the wall, yelling at you to 'shut the fuck up,' it didn't stop the two of you from giggling like school girls.

You could get used to this feeling.

next part

tag: @pinkazelma

ellie + hands bc im gay

ellie x bimbo!reader ?? (modern au!)

a/n: love this! i'm going to do it in headcanon format but if you want it in actual like... story form just lmk!! this request is so fun hehe thank you for requesting!!!

there is a tiny amount of smut at the end as well!

when ellie first met you, she really didn't see it going anywhere

you guys were just classmates, hell she barely knew your name

you were paired up with her along with 3 other people for your big final project in astronomy class. a class you were not good at all

thankfully ellie was good and actually enjoyed it

the other 3 people rarely showed up and just kinda put feedback in the group chat you guys had, which annoyed ellie to no end, but that meant the two of you were around each other a good chunk of the day for weeks on end to pick up the slack

she may be a little more on the masc side but she didn't usually go for hyper-femme girls

usually

she thought you were endearing with your questions and accessories bouncing everywhere

ellie always liked how you smelled too, cotton candy and strawberries, but she would never admit that

the tipping point for her was at a party

you looked at her with these puppy-dog eyes

she swears she's never felt her heart actually stutter before

that's when you had her hooked on you

dating ellie was genuinely the best thing that could've happened to you

usually, people dated you but disrespected you the whole time because of your bubbly attitude and the way you would constantly ask questions

not ellie though

she actually treated you like a human

you loved how she would always open the doors for you and guided you through crowds with her hand on your lower back

if you guys went to a fast food place and you didn't order anything, she never complained when you ended up taking half of her fries

you had ellie wrapped around your finger

little did she know she always had you wrapped around hers

if she told you to jump off a cliff, you would, that's how much she affected you

her nicknames for you always sent you into overdrive

"sweet girl" and "pretty girl" were the two main ones she used

but when her fingers were buried deep inside you, her forearm burning from using it, she would call you her "stupid bitch"

"yeah, you like that? stupid slut." her fingers hitting the spot deep inside of you that made you writhe around

when she had her strap on, pounding you from behind, she would always pull you against her chest and shove two fingers in your mouth

"keep quiet, baby," her breath tickled your neck, "wouldn't want the whole dorm to hear you."

in general, ellie was head over heels for you

it happened so quickly for her but she was infatuated so she really didn't care that much

you were just glad she accepted your bimbo ways <3