I Don't Talk About The Specifics Of My Csa, Because It Was Very Unconventional... But I Want To Give

i don't talk about the specifics of my csa, because it was very unconventional... but i want to give a shout out to anyone else with "unconventional" child sexual trauma, whether your csa was contactless, whether it was perpetrated by another child, or an adult who wasn't exactly a pedophile (some adults just have real shit boundaries with kids), or it happened over the internet... if someone was sexually inappropriate with you in a way that fucked you up as a kid, you have trauma, and it's just as valid as those whose trauma happened under more "conventional" circumstances.

no one had to lay a finger on you for you to be a csa victim. it can be as simple as being shown porn as a child, being introduced to concepts like rape too young, or someone verbally crossing the line, even if they never touched you. it's valid even if you ended up stumbling across the traumatic materials on your own, while browsing the net. i know a lot of kids whose parents didn't monitor or restrict their internet access that stumbled on some pretty horrific stuff and got fucked up. you can still claim your trauma, even if there is no direct perpetrator.

i hope you all are able to process what happened and heal from it, no matter what shape your trauma took <3 remember: trauma isn't a competition, and you shouldn't belittle what you went through, just because you feel like it "could have been worse."

Even when I’m “relaxing” I can’t really relax. I’m so tired

calling the cops on an unhoused person for being weird/rude/"scary" in public is so weird to me on such a fundamental level... like even before you get to political beliefs about jail and homelessness, you are beefing with a dude who has to live on the sidewalk. like sorry if he was rude to you dude sorry if he made you uncomfortable but to be fair he lives and sleeps on the fucking sidewalk. sorry if hes being too mentally unwell on the street late at night but like you gotta understand that he lives on the fucking sidewalk. sorry if he seems a little bit "off" today dude i think maybe its because he lives on the fucking goddamn sidewalk

[ID text — The desire to be sicker, to prove that you are sick, itself is indicative of sickness. A well person does not desire to be sick]