doublebunv

jay

she/her | 18 | eng/spn

399 posts

Sincerely Not.

sincerely not.

↳ gojou satoru/reader

with an arranged marriage set in place, the sacred bond is doomed with a wife who wants to make the relationship work and a husband who’s ready to ruin it all. unknown to him, a tragic fate already lies within the pages of your romance book.

genre. heavy angst, unrequited love, arranged marriage, modern au, 18+

tags/warnings. ooc, and nothing else except gojou is an ass

notes. a bit cliché but what’s stopping me from writing more gojo angst? bye idek why i still write at all jndsj rbs appreciated <3

series masterlist -> part two

Marriage is a sacred bond.

With over seven billion people around the world, you were granted to have only one person to be your chosen life-long partner. As with every failed relationships, people would tell you that you just haven’t found the better half of your soul, the significant other who shared the same heart, or as some liked to put it, your twin flame. Carefully choosing a partner was an advice that you would hear from your elders like a broken record. For years, they’ve nagged about how you were still single and miserable as a twenty five year-old without a lover, but what made up for your lackluster romance was hope. Hope that someday, at the right time and place, you were to be married to the perfect husband who would love and cherish you as a wife for the rest of your life.

That was the beauty of true love. It was unpredictable but gratifying once you had your fair share of it. You seek it, your search for it until you meet the person that was destined for you and everything else in the world would just stop. In that moment, when you and him have finally found each other, you would be the happiest woman of all.

Each person has their own romantic novels to write or movies to portray, but in a situation where a husband was appointed to you, was that considered breaking the universe’s law of finding your special one?

Was that considered cheating your way into what fate could have had in store for you?

Arguably, you thought that maybe this was a push from fate, too. Perhaps you were just truly meant to be married to the man that you have grown fond of since you were sixteen. Because his and your fathers were practically brothers by virtue, their unyielding friendship had now led you to this day, wearing an immaculate ivory gown in an expensive garden venue, to marry the perpetually handsome Satoru Gojou.

You had not seen him since the day it was announced by your father that you were going to marry his best friend’s only son. The whole marriage preparation was rushed, with everything else coordinated by the people hired by Satoru’s father to ensure that the wedding would be as perfect as it should be albeit done in haste. You weren’t exactly opposing the idea, but you were worried that Satoru might not be in complete agreement to be forever tied to a woman he didn’t love.

On the contrary, his grandmother told you otherwise. “Darling, he is excited to see you,” for hours and hours, she reassured as she stroked your hair with eyes gleaming of delight from the mirror’s reflection. It seemed that she has noticed how nervous you were for this big day. “That young man couldn’t sleep. He must be overwhelmed.”

Inaudibly to her, a sigh of relief rolled of your lips. At least, you were glad to know how he felt about today’s ceremony. You’ve only ever heard from your father that Satoru had consented to the wedding but you were spared of the other details for the past few months by being convinced that everyone was busy and that the only thing you needed to worry about was picking the perfect wedding dress.

“I probably should’ve spoken to him before the wedding just to make sure that he’s fine with everything, Nana,” you mused, staring at your airbrushed face and silently admiring how glamorous the make up artists and the hair stylists made you look today.

“Why, there is no need to worry of such thing. I guarantee that my Satoru is ready as ever. He’s blessed to have a woman like you.” The crease on his grandma’s forehead lessened the more she smiled, but a cough soon erased the gentleness on her face as she rubbed her chest for some comfort. With your older sister standing next to her, she caressed the old woman’s back and guided her into tucking a porcelain floral headpiece just above your braided updo. “Ah, look how stunning. I’ll bet my buttons you two will give me the most beautiful grandchildren.”

Heat suffused your cheeks at the thought of having your own family with Satoru. As part of a married couple’s life, the product of your love would be represented by the children that you would soon bear for him. This was a fairytale that you once believed only existed in fiction, but with some inexplicable force of luck, you were granted a prince charming to live with in real life.

Still and all, your stomach was in knots when you stood at the far side of the aisle with all eyes on you later that day. Your delicate fingers fidgeted as you held on to your bouquet, anxiety filling your heart at a dangerous rate. The garden was filled with people that you knew from your relatives, friends, to your other acquaintances. On the other side was Satoru’s own guests and perhaps some really important people in his life, even shareholders and investors, who were all waiting to see him finally tie the knot.

“You know, sweetheart. I was nervous when I married your mom, too,” your dad offered a joke to lighten your anxious state after noticing how you tightened your grip around his arm. You shouldn’t be nervous when the garden that held your sacred exchange of love was the most enchanting floral paradise that you’ve seen in your life. Amaranthine flora covered the trellises, pastel shades colored the seats, ornate candelabras decorated the credence table, all combined with the redolence of vanilla and jasmine that greeted your nose with a creamy, velvety smell.

Timeless elegance and utmost sophistication was how you would describe your wedding day as though you were a modern-day Cinderella without a midnight time frame into being a princess. Chic, refined, coordinated in pearls and pastel palettes—you were left wonderstruck at how pristine everything was.

As you made slow strides towards the altar, you saw your older sister, Gen, smiling on the corner, unknowingly reminding you of her words this morning. “It may be arranged and all, but I hope you’ll have the happiest marriage. You deserve it.”

And then you saw him.

Standing at the end of the aisle was Satoru whose ivory hair was neatly styled in a natural pomade. He donned a black three-piece tuxedo with a tie of the same color and satin lapels in champagne silk to emphasize the elegance in his look. The man radiated regality like a monarch of ancient times. His appearance was princely enough to make your heartbeat run faster than it already has and you wondered if you elicited the same feeling from him after seeing you in your custom wedding gown.

His hands were buried deep in his pockets as his eyes locked with yours in front of a smiling audience. It was typical for a groom to feel overwhelmed upon seeing his bride. Memories of his relationship with her would flash before his eyes and, most times, it would make the groom cry with the thought of finally spending his forever with her.

Satoru didn’t have all of that with you.

You couldn’t tell what thoughts were bubbling in his head as you joined him at the altar. Even though his face reflected a genial smile, his eyes couldn’t veil its emptiness. His hands felt cold when you held it. His visage remained impassive even as you two faced the pastor who would be blessing your sacred marriage. It was clear as day that being in here with you was the last thing he ever wanted.

For a bride who was getting married to a man of such saintly features, you certainly didn’t expect that you would have a broken heart on the day of your wedding. In an exchange of vows and I do’s, you were awakened to the thought of how this wedding was a torture to Satoru’s soul. He was masking his blues with an insincere smile, standing centimeters apart while his heart was miles away.

Howbeit, you remained poised as you listened to the officiant’s words, taking every word deep into the vastness of your heart just as any woman who valued marriage as an important part of her life. You couldn’t possibly put the marriage to a stop, not now and not ever. Not when all eyes were fixed on the both of you, having spent the time and energy just to be in attendance to this special day.

“Satoru, do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect Y/N, forsaking all others, and holding only unto her forevermore?”

When he took a moment to answer with a blank gaze, you could feel tiny pricks being sent straight to your heart. Just a mere glance at his stolid mien was enough for you to believe that he was going to call off the wedding and run away. What else did you expect? He clearly didn’t want this as much as Nana nor his and your fathers made it seem. It shouldn’t surprise you if he took a step back and announced that he couldn’t go on in making an oath to offer the rest of his life with you. That he would rather get out of this hell hole and be somewhere else than to proclaim a love that was being forced out of him.

But he didn’t. The soles of his leather shoes remained intact on the ground.

“I do,” he professed, despite the inner turmoil that plagued his head.

Being surprised by his conclusion to proceed with the marriage, you made the bold to decision to also continue and return your own “I do” for when the pastor asked you of the same matrimonial question.

“Bride and Groom, you have heard the words of love and marriage, have exchanged your vows and made your promises, and celebrated your union with the giving and receiving of rings. It is at this time that I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the officiant declared, “you may now kiss the bride.”

As you pivoted on your heels to face each other, your groom slowly lifted the veil off your face where you had a clear view of his diamond orbs that trailed down on your lips before he leaned in to seal this marriage with a kiss.

It was brief with his warm lips barely brushing against yours, but affectionate enough when he held your cheek along with it. The millisecond of having your lips enveloped on each other made you frozen in your spot as you absorbed the very idea that this marriage was indeed bona fide. The rings, the vows, the kiss. And when he pulled away, he was gazing at you with eyes that spoke a million words left unsaid.

There was no turning back now.

From this day forward, you were officially his and he was yours.

You would give credit where it was due. As much as you presumed that your groom didn’t like this marriage, Satoru was surprisingly a gentleman throughout the reception. He did little things that made you feel like you were an actual couple prior to the wedding—be it with the way he placed a hand on your back during your first dance or how he would scoot closer so you could whisper on his ear as you sat in front of curious eyes—quite the simple gestures, but enough to make your heart flutter.

Even though you’ve known him for years, you’ve never really had a remarkable amount of interaction together. You two remained as neutral acquaintances throughout your innocent childhood, merely greeting each other whenever necessary, but unexpected that you would end up having to marry each other as grown adults. To some extent, it might be a little expected. Your father knew about your longtime crush on him back in high school, but never did you think that the day would come where he would coordinate with the guy’s father to make sure that this marriage would happen.

Satoru was a very close family friend. Other than both of your fathers being the best of friends, your mothers were also from the same circle. Photographs of them hanging out since college were enough proof of how small the world was and how everything seemed to have connected yours and his parents to each other. Ironically enough, they both shared the same fate, too. Due to a terminal illness, your mother no longer existed in this world while Satoru’s parents were divorced for reasons you chose not to stick your nose into. His mother was alive, but no longer by his side after having remarried another man. On a similar note, he now had a step-mother who took care of him since he was eighteen.

It was also mainly the Gojous that wanted this arranged marriage because Nana favored you by a significant advantage. She has been fond of you since your father would take you to their mansion as a kid, claiming that you were the granddaughter that she never had. The thing was, Satoru’s grandmother was battling through the downsides of old age which might have left him with no choice but to comply to her last dying wish of welcoming you into their family.

You were aware of how Satoru loved her with every fiber of his body because she was the only blood-related maternal figure that he had left. You could only imagine how he would chastise himself for not fulfilling her wishes before it was too late.

But even at that, you were pretty much the same, too.

You grew up with very strict parents which ultimately became the reason why you had very few experiences when it came to men. At your current age, it was a true shame to see your friends settling down while you were still claiming to be an independent career woman as an excuse to your lack of romantic relationships. None of the guys you’ve dated ever earned your father’s approval until you no longer had anyone chasing you because they must have realized that you weren’t worth all that trouble.

You were the youngest between you and your sister who was happily married by her own choice. Unlike her, you didn’t really have anyone that pursued you the way her husband did for fifteen years. Such dedication paid off with earning your dad’s support and respect.

Your father thought that you were better off married to someone he knew, henceforth became the very reason of yours and Satoru’s marriage.

At least, in your point of view, you hoped that it could work. You’ve already had a prior attraction to him during your teenage years so it was easy to fall back into that abyss of overflowing romantic emotions for the sake of your marriage. You were willing to be the best wife he could ever ask for, only if he was ready to accept you.

“Congrats, you two.” A woman with long brown hair approached you and your husband during the reception. You recognized her as Shoko Ieiri, one of Satoru’s closest friends since high school. You were quick to greet her kindly in return. “I can’t believe you’re married, Gojou.”

The man stood high, peering around the ballroom to see the multitude of guests that filled the place. “I can’t believe it, either,” his response was rather monotonous, not giving anything away.

You tried to speak your mind and looped an arm around his, smiling gently as you looked at his angelic face, “I’m actually surprised that he showed up.”

Rather than acknowledging you, he seemed all blasé about your words by simply turning to his best man, the dashing Suguru Getou, who was walking behind Shoko. “You’re getting wasted at my wedding?” he joked, exchanging fist bumps with his best friend. “I’m the one who should be drinking.”

Suguru’s eyes turned into moon crescents as he shot you a friendly smile. “Hey, Y/N,” he greeted before facing your husband. “You can’t drink, you scum. You have a long night ahead with Y/N. They say honeymoon stage is the best.”

He was teasing the both of you by wriggling his eyebrows that garnered yours and Shoko’s chuckles. On one hand, Satoru was holding his breath with a face that concealed his distaste for the thought. His countenance was what forced you to withdraw your arm that was loosely hooked around his, gauging on his reaction and noticing the way his Adam’s apple rose up and down.

Before you could say anything else, he snatched the glass of whiskey from his best friend’s hand and took a swig in heavy gulps. “I just wanna get this shit over with.”

You started the day with a half contented heart. You were made a fool for thinking that Satoru was looking forward to being married to you because you were gullible enough to listen to his grandmother’s words. Of course she would tell you that he was excited even if he was truly not. Why would they ruin a special day by telling you that the reason they kept Satoru away from you for the past two months was because they knew he would tell you just how much he despised this wedding?

There was no doubt that he was only being civil in front of your families. He would hold your hand, walk side by side with you, and even smile at you—but through it all, there was a thin line between being genuine and simply acting. It was obvious in Satoru’s cerulean eyes that he was doing the latter.

Every time he noticed that no one was looking, he would brush your hand away and walk three steps ahead without looking back. He would glance at you with a sharp gaze, never truly looking at you to notice the pain that painted your face in dejection.

He must have dreaded this day too much. Even as the reception ended and both of your families sent you off to a black sedan as newlyweds, Satoru was building an impenetrable wall that bordered his intentions and yours in a way to wake you up from your daydream.

Life was not a fairytale, and he was the reality that pulled you back to your feet.

“You probably couldn’t wait for this day to happen, didn’t you?” his question reeked with disgust as the two of you sat on the backseat of the sedan. He had his arms crossed and back reclined against the backrest, staring at the view of the city like they were of better interest than his own wife.

You tried to swallow the weakness in your voice. “Satoru, I-I wouldn’t have agreed to this if I knew that you didn’t want it.”

For the first time that night, he turned to look at your face with eyes that bore heavily into yours. “What makes you think I ever wanted it?”

He didn’t hold back from saying those venomous words regardless if they sent knives to your aching heart. He looked even more bothered at the fact that his personal driver could hear just how revolted he was with you, exposing how this marriage was nothing but forced out of his will and that you were responsible for all of this. When you dreamed about weddings as a child, you didn’t picture out that you would be fighting with your husband on the first night.

But for what it was worth, he didn’t really consider you as a wife. Only by contract did this bond make you a legal partner, not through his personal feelings nor his own wishes.

“I’m sorry.” You didn’t know why you said those words in silent acquiescence. You didn’t know if you were saying it to him or to yourself for being oblivious to the reality that awaited you.

He didn’t care. He stepped out of the car without looking behind to see if you’ve caught up with his long strides. He didn’t speak another word as you got inside the elevator to his upscale apartment building, later entering the penthouse that you now called your home. Such a home almost emitted a gasp from you the minute you entered the topmost apartment. Everything was luxurious—from the high ceilings, the lush furniture, to the infinity rooftop pool. The glass panels offered a gorgeous view of the Tokyo skyline and you stood mesmerized by the cityscape that reflected a constellation of different lights.

“Are you gonna keep standing there or what?”

You got out of trance at the sound of Satoru’s voice who stood outside of a bedroom, unbuttoning his shirt with a moue on display. “I’m just... Is this where you live?” you inquired, following him inside the room where a king-sized bed was laid in front of you.

“Yeah.” While you stood meekly on one corner, Satoru had already gotten rid of his shirt to be completely bare-chested and you didn’t expect that he was that toned under his clothes. The man may be your husband now, but you felt awkward around him at a situation where he would walk around half naked like you’ve seen all of him before. “Your stuff are in my closet if you wanna change.”

You gave him a small nod. “Okay...”

What do married couples do on the first night? God. You were panicking on the inside as you made your way towards Satoru’s walk-in closet that housed a significant amount of expensive corporate suit and ties. The right side of the spacious wardrobe was where all of your clothes and shoes were neatly organized, seemingly done by the housemaids back at your father’s house.

It just started to fully sink in to you that you were actually married and this setup was what you considered normal now. In 2 years, 5 years, or 10 years from now, sharing the same living arrangement with Satoru would no longer be considerably new to you. You would be accustomed to his daily routines in your domestic household, perhaps with kids running around the house in a year or two.

For now, the biggest challenge was your own husband. The same man who grabbed you by the wrist and pinned you against the wall, staring down at you in scrutiny. The look of intent that he sent you was close enough to be a glower, one that brought you sudden fright and increased the speed of your heartbeat.

“S-Satoru,” you mumbled, pulling your wrist away. “What are you—”

He lightly cupped your jaw and you could feel the heavy rise and fall of his chest that signaled his growing ire. His gaze was sharp and unforgiving, ready to ruin your entirety even with just his rancorous words. “Let’s set things straight here,” he spoke in a domineering voice, “you and I will never work.”

There was no point to restrain your emotions with no one else around to play pretend. In spite of that, you held onto the ring around your finger to try and clear your intentions, “I know you’re not happy with this... but I wanna try.”

“Try?” he scoffed, leaning in closer until you could feel his warm but minty breath against your cheek. “You’re the one who forced this marriage, right? Since you had that stupid crush on me for fuck knows how long and no one else wanted you.”

You immediately shook your head in denial. How did he even the get that impression? “Th-That’s not true,” you stated firmly, “I’d never force anything. I was just complying to our dads’ requests just like you did.”

His eyebrows furrowed at your claim. “Bullshit. Why did he say he’ll pull out all of his investments if I didn’t agree to marry you?”

Your eyes widened at the newfound information because never did it cross your mind that your dad would even do such thing. Moreover, it wasn’t in his character to give an ultimatum of that scale for the sake of marrying off his youngest daughter. With those facts alone, you refused to believe your husband’s words, “My dad wouldn’t do that. He would never say that.”

“Whatever, then.” Satoru’s frown lessened but the hand that held your jaw remained still. “If you really wanna try, then stay the fuck away from me when no one’s around. Get it?”

You couldn’t understand this. No, you were failing to grasp why you were being subjected to such hostility when you had no ill intentions when you agreed to this marriage. Had you known that Gojou would treat you unfairly for it, you never would have agreed. You would have continued your life as a lonely woman in her mid-20’s without a husband who was ready to give you hell.

The antagonism in his stance induced a faint tear on your eye as you searched for the minuscule kindness in his. “Why do you hate me so much?” you asked, chest heaving from the upcoming surge of tears. “You weren’t like this before.”

While he released his hold on you, he spat out words that stung your heart with fatal poison. “You married me,” he answered, “that’s why.”

He was already walking away before you could respond. He was already stepping on your heart, thrashing it, pulverizing every artery before you could even think of living in bliss at the false pretense that he could learn to love you just as how willing you were to love him.

“Sleep on the couch,” he reminded, apathetic to the pain that swallowed you in whole, “I’m not sharing a bed with you.”

jjk general taglist: @kity @deeznutss @suhkusa @wonyoschubs @the-golden-jhope @zeickv @6mattsun9 @hokageyamz @ermahgerd-larry-and-ziam @crashica @aizawap @juniorhooter @atsumusoup @gxtitobxby @strawberries-en-cream @dora-the-grownup @softy-woo @tsumume @kac-chowsballs @anime-nymph @kageyamakock @naioimiwinchester @onlyonew @underratedmage @katsulovee @crapimahuman @alicia-1725 @fatal-impact