I Just Teared Up While Telling My Roommate About How The World Doesnt Deserve Bill Hader. On A Completely,

I just teared up while telling my roommate about how the world doesn’t deserve Bill Hader. On a completely, totally, not at all related note, are finals making the rest of you emotionally unstable? 

No lol the essay was great. I really love that explanation and it makes total sense. Now thinking about it I always just assumed pennywise was mocking adult Richie about Connor(because we just seen the arcade flashback) but now I think it’s also possible that he could have been mocking him about his feelings for Eddie

Pennywise was just mocking Richie about his fear of having his sexuality discovered and the arcade scene explains that that fear stemmed from the bullying and shaming he experienced as a child. If his shame was related to one specific person, Richie wouldn’t have tried so hard to pretend he’s straight. Richie’s feelings toward Connor were probably more “oh he’s cute” but not a crush. He was more of a needed plot device to tell us Richie’s sexuality than a character. And after this experience Richie carved his and Eddie’s initials into the bridge so we know where his heart truly lay. That being said, Richie’s struggles weren’t really related feelings for one specific person but rather his feelings of fear and homophobia toward himself. 

richie and stan were best friends

i cant bring up the specifics of the book since ive only read it once, but both the book and miniseries confirm that richie and stan were friends before the formation of the losers club.

stan (at least in the miniseries/movies) is the only loser(except, possibly, beverly) who can keep up with richies jokes and, without missing a beat, have an equally witty quip. theres a certain amount of friendship and comfortableness that goes into being able to make jokes with your friend, without it becoming personal. there is no venom behind “thats not saying much”. its richie making a joke about his dick size and stan poking fun at him, theres no venom behind “do what you always do, start talking”.  stan doesnt have the same bickering with any of the others, and he certainly wouldnt make jokes like that with people he doesnt like. yes, richie jokes with all the losers, and none of them hate him for his often inappropriate comments, but none of them have comebacks. they just wave him off for the most part.

but its also the way stan can react to richie without looking at him. the way stan immediately knows richie goes for a high five after “beats spending it inside of your mother” and brings his hand down. the way he rolls his eyes before richie can even finish his sentence because he knows its going to be a bad joke.

the way, at the end of chapter 1, stan deadpans “i hate you” before smiling and richie doesnt hesitate to smile back.

the way they always seem to gravitate towards each other, almost always standing next to each other when they can. in chapter 1, richie gets knocked into stan by the bowers’ gang and they help each other up because thats what they do. to contrast, later in chapter 1, when the losers go to bens house, eddie falls when he tries to dismount his bike and richie just watches, he doesnt help like he does with stan.

its stan grabbing richie and pulling him out of the way when pennywise comes out of the projector. its richie holding onto stan and comforting him in the sewers in the miniseries. its stan trying to hold richie back when richie tries to hit bill. its richie whos the first to get to stan after judith attacks him, its richie on the brink of tears when stan screams “you left me. youre not my friends. you made me go into neibolt”. its richie screaming “stanley!” when he gets thrown back by pennywise during the fight

in the miniseries before they go into the sewers, its stans “i said i was in” and its richies “yeah, you think we’re gonna let you have all the fun there, billy boy?” richie is just as scared as stan is, he just doesnt show it in the same way.

now to the main part of the argument: stans bar mitzvah

richie was the only one of the losers to go to stans bar mitzvah. its not like the other losers didnt know, because the core four talk about it at the beginning of chapter 1. neither bill nor eddie show up to this huge moment in stans life. in the movie, its hinted at that stan might be questioning his religion, or at least, he doesnt believe his religion is the most important thing in his life. he wants support from his friends, and looks to richie, the only one there, for that support. hell, richie is the only person in the whole synagogue that supports stan in that moment.

similarly, when richie needed support, stan is the one who provides it. ive said it before and ill say it until i die, richie was going to leave derry and the losers in chapter 2.

richie was driving away, ready to turn his back on the losers, when he came across the synagogue. its only when he remembered stans bar mitzvah, and his speech about what being a loser means, that he decided to stay. “thanks for showing up, stanley” is not a throw away line of “oh i remember you now lets fight this clown” its more along the lines of “i remember how you made me feel safe and loved and how the rest of the losers make me feel the same. thank you for reminding me when i needed it most.”

theres also more behind “probably like he was as a kid: the best”. thats not just a line about how stan bought them shower caps to keep spiders out, its specifically about the connection richie and stan have. its why stan is stan the man, its not just a simple rhyme, its because richie looks up to him and thinks hes, as cheesy as it sounds, the man.

i could go on about every line richie says about/to stan in chapter 2 but i wont because thatll make this even longer

richie and stan were best friends and its so much more than a headcanon

My brother was due a couple weeks after my mom’s medical school graduation so she asked if she could be moved up in the order and put in an aisle seat just in case she had a newborn. The people in charge of the ceremony kept saying it would be fine and it wasn’t worth the hassle when he might not even be born yet. A few days before graduation, my mom met with them again with a three day old baby in her arms and said “Now will you make the adjustments?”

“How many times in your life have you been excluded from something important or talked over or ignored because you’re the only woman in the room?”

Thoughts on Connor being Richie’s token? I hate that they gave so much importance to a character that never even existed in the book

So pretty much everything I think about the Ritual of Chud and Richie’s token being Eddie comes from this video, which actually made me cry despite the cheesy graphics. The ritual is about overcoming the pain of the past, which they interpret as destroying a symbol of the pain but don’t actually overcome it until Pennywise forces them to (Bill forgives himself, Bev confronts her father, Ben confesses his love for Bev, etc.). Burning the arcade token didn’t do anything to heal Richie, and the arcade token and Connor represent being bullied specifically, but doesn’t encompass all the repression, internalized homophobia, and fear Richie lives with. I just see Connor as a plot device for Richie’s trauma and nothing more. I think Eddie is Richie’s token because Richie’s discovery of the feelings he fears are centered around Eddie, and it takes Eddie getting stabbed for Richie’s “straight guy who only jokes about girls” persona to start crumbling and he starts showing how he feels without shame as he stays by his side even when the others have left. It’s the persona he’s been hiding behind for nearly 30 years and the persona that completely dissolves when Eddie dies and Richie exposes to the Losers and himself how much he truly loved Eddie as he completely breaks down. When Eddie gets stabbed, Richie realizes he cares about Eddie more than his fear, therefore his pain of the past had been overcome, Eddie being the token of that pain. Further proof Eddie is Richie’s token provided by the video linked above is that Richie insults Pennywise before getting stuck in the deadlights and it does nothing, and then Eddie dies and all of a sudden it works because all the tokens had been properly destroyed. We see in the last adult Richie scene at the kissing bridge that what happened had made him more comfortable with his feelings toward Eddie and his sexuality because with Eddie dying, he was forced to let go of the pain of his past. Sorry, you probably didn’t want a whole essay. 

“One day, I will adopt you too and I will have the whole set. One day.”

literally cannot stop laughing