Void

void

some people are brought up as voids

and when you're not sure how to build a person out of that void, you try filling it instead

with short-term poison-anesthetics; like sharps, or pills, or relationships, or pretend, or food—

or starving that void until it gapes enough to consume even it's own destruction

and the void is always screaming, and so are you, but anyone who hears it loses their mind

i don't know how to be a person, and it hurts. and i'm learning to express that pain with my words, not my body, but it's difficult to detach something that's built into the foundations

how can i describe it when you're a person in all the ways that i'm not?

one of my favourite authors. thats all

“And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way.”

— Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia

"the only way to gain approval is by exploiting the very thing that cheapens me" — this is yesterday, by the manic street preachers (the holy bible album)

can u tell ive been trying half face pictures? // sotd is there's a platypus controlling me

im trapped in a hospital with nothing but poorly written fiction and my headphones. shall i ever see the light of day again? probably. the window is terribly large. (second)sotd is anesthesia by type o <33

queuing this photo from the other day to post in a little while cause im gettin surgery in 10hr!! will update when im allowed accessories and nail polish again // sotd is 'lesbian vampyres from outer space'