I Feel Like So Many (especially Young) People Here On Tumblr Were Beaten Over The Head Again And Again

I feel like so many (especially young) people here on tumblr were beaten over the head again and again with “believe the victims, stop asking them to prove their victimhood” and instead of understanding that this means “don’t dogpile victims because you like the abuser” instead took it to the no-nuance end of the pool and turned it into “if you hear something bad about someone don’t go looking for sources or context” and those are not the same things

You should look at sources. Always. Taking a moment to say “wait, who said that? what happened?” isn’t victim blaming, it isn’t siding with an abuser, its taking a step back to understand a whole picture, in its context. 

When you do this, 

you are actually a better ally than just knee-jerk, superficial, performative support.

you can approach with nuance.

you can avoid speaking over them, and learn how to be a better, more supportive ally.

you can avoid repeating old claims that have already been either addressed or disproven.

you can avoid propaganda and disinformation, which not only serves to undermine whoever its about, but it undermines everyone else. 

This post is about political disinformation, but when people get away with making false allegations about abuse or racism or homophobia or any other gross behavior it undermines the positions of actual victims because people who are prone to bad faith can say “ah, that was a scam, victims are scammers”. When you make false claims about politicians, you undermine the political process and allow people who are prone to bad faith to say “see I don’t need to participate”.

I know we hate checking facts and sources here on the internet, but that’s the whole point of the internet. Information is available, and you should be checking your sources before you make claims about people.

Words to Describe Hair

This began as a guide to describing Afro/curly hair but of course, I got carried away. From look and texture of hair, colors and various styles, this guide serves as a thesaurus of sorts for hair, as well as pointers for use in your writing.

Culturally Significant Hair Coverings:

Know the meaning behind head wear and why it’s worn, when and by whom, such as a Native Nation’s headdress, before bestowing a character with it.

Head Coverings Resources:

More on various head coverings.

See here for more Islamic Veils. 

See here for more on the Nigerian gele.

See here on African American Headwraps. 

View our hijab and headscarves tags for discussion on these topics.

Afro - Curly - Straightened

There are many varieties of braids, twists & Afro hair styles; have some more!

African/Black Hair: Natural, Braids and Locks

African Hair: Braiding Styles 10 African Types

Describing Black (Afro) hair:

Appropriative Hairstyles: Keep in mind that Afro styles should be kept to those in the African Diaspora, such as dreadlocks, cornrows + certain and many braided styles.

Tread carefully describing Afro hair as “wild” “unkempt” “untamed” or any words implying it’s unclean or requires controlling.

“Nappy” and “wooly” are generally words to stay away from, the first having heavy negative connotations for many and the latter, though used in the Holy Bible, is generally not acceptable anymore and comes off as dehumanizing due to Animal connotations.

There are mixed feelings on calling Black hair “kinky.” I’m personally not opposed to the word in itself and usage depends on the person’s race (I’m more comfortable with a Black person using it vs. a Non-Black person) as well as their tone and context (if it’s used in a neutral or positive tone vs. negatively/with disdain). Get feedback on your usage, or simply forgo it.

See our tags “Black Hair” and “Natural Hair” for more discussion on describing Black hair.

Texture - Look - Styles

Hair Colors and Style

Writing Tips & Things to Keep in Mind:

Combination Words: Try combing words to illustrate look of hair. A character with springy coils that dance across her shoulders with every movement, the man with thick silvery hair slicked back into a ponytail…

Mind Perspective: Depending on POV, a character might not know exactly what cornrows or a coiffure style is, at least in name, and it might make more sense if they described the hairdo instead. More defining terms might come from a more knowing source or the wearer themselves. One book I read described a girl’s afro puff as “thick hair pulled up into a cute, curly, poufy thing on top of her head and tied with a yellow ribbon.”

POC & Hair Colors: People of Color’s hair comes in all shades and textures. There are Black people with naturally blond and loosely-textured to straight hair, East Asian people with red hair, and so on. Keep that in mind when coding characters if you tend to rely on hair color alone to denote a character is white vs. a Person of Color.

Related Tropes: There are tropes and discussion related to People of Color, colored hair, and light-colored hair and features. 

Check out these posts on the topic: The East Asian Women + Colored Hair Trope - Black Characters & “Wild” Hair Colors - POC w/ Supernatural Colorful Features. - ‘Uncommon’ Features & POC Characters

~Mod Colette

i cant stop laughing about this website

Coming into a fandom late

One thing that pisses me off a lot is the fact that the world is not made for single people. Ignore the fact that everyone and their dogs think it’s wrong not to want a partner, I’m talking about practical things.

I’m talking about rent and mortgage in a city like London with only one salary. Yes, it’s exactly as hard as you can imagine. Not easy on a single salary unless you’re senior management level, want to commute two hours each day, or you are lucky enough to have your landlady be your best friend. Or you don’t mind living in a shoebox pretending to be a studio. Otherwise, you’ll be in a shared house.

I’m talking about holiday and travel, where either you go to hostel dorms of pay double price for a room in most hotels. And there are no packages for one, or barely any, and they are in singles holidays where the objective is not so much travel but stop being single.

I’m talking about doing shopping and producing more food waste than I’m comfortable with because everything comes in bigger portions than one person can reasonably eat. Even with freezing more than half of everything there will still be something that goes off because you were too slow to eat it if you do shopping once a week. Or you have to go shopping every couple of days and eat the same those two days.

It’s not enough to have all media telling you you’re wrong for not wanting a relationship, the entire world will try to push you into forming one by making it too expensive to be single.

btw clip studio paint is on sale right now

i really can’t recommend this program enough, i paid Once for it years ago and i’ve gotten every upgrade since for free and basically it’s becoming more powerful by the minute

like, back in the day working with color in it was an unimaginable hassle, and now you can directly import ps brushes with minimal adjustments