MY BELOVED

MY BELOVED

Gwendolyn Bouchard my beloved, you've gaslighted, gatekept, and girlbossed too close to the sun.

the jesus christ line was so silly to me

CRYING AT ALICE SAYING HE HAS NO GAMEEEE this episode is so sexy!!!

I was discussing Jon with my friend earlier today, and I am such a Jon apologist.

Spoilers for TMA Season 5

Yes, he was flawed. Yes, he made mistakes. I love that so much about his character. There is something so easy to identify with about being put in a position where there's a bigger picture you're a part of that you don't know about but others do. There's a helplessness to it. There's only so much that you can do. Jon is a victim of not knowing the genre he is in! It's okay.

I know the first thing to criticize Jon for that often comes up is him in season two, the way he tried to do things on his own and didn't ask for help. Yes, he wasn't perfect, but I do think he was admirable in some ways (and no this is not about him stalking his coworkers). He was in an impossible situation then, and he was right to be paranoid. Yes, he made the wrong choices (like axeing the table), but if I were in his position at least, I would be paranoid with trust issues too. I would feel like I had to manage things on my own.

Then, there is the matter of his own humanity and struggle for it until the end. Jon struggled to maintain his humanity for so long, and that was such a beautiful struggle to be able to experience as a listener. It was an entirely unfair scenario. That's life. TMA is life to the darkest corners and most flawed desires and fears. It paints characters with flaws that are so real and accentuated by their attachment to an entity and even their place as a victim.

Continuing with this point, I don't think it's right to criticize Jon for well feeding the beholding and acting on his hungers and not do the same for someone like Daisy. Personally, I don't love Daisy. Her confidence and self-righteousness as well as her abuse of power really bothered me. I tried to like her, but it was her condemning Jon and feeding her own hunger in the same vein that struck a dissonant chord for me. Yes, you could compare their differences in season 5, but I still don't think so. Jon did what he thought was right (on his own, once again) and Daisy does what she believes is right as well. Doing what you think is right doesn't make it, and I still standby the ending of season 5.

I don't think Daisy was wrong for her ending, even if I don't like her, but I don't think that Jon was either. He was trying to atone. Up until the end, he held as best as he could onto his humanity, even when it was about becoming a monster.

I don't blame him for doing things like feeding on other people in later seasons and being a cause for fear. This is going to be a very silly comparison, but the person I become when I haven't eaten is so bad. I go from talkative and outgoing to full of hate and resentment, and I am so quick to argue. It's so bad. Then, I eat food, and the world becomes a place with light, so just saying. Thought I would toss that bit in there. Like, yes, I am responsible if I say for example hurtful things when I am upset because I am hungry, but you're standing between me and my lunch break!

Also, like Jon was set-up! He went through so much shit! It's okay for him to make bad decisions. You would too!

All anyone can do in life is try. I am not saying we should all become monsters and start the apocalypse. I'm just saying Jon is a chill dude in my book.

sobbing my friend that moved away mailed me a hand drawn copy of a guest for mr spider

asmr