Classynerdclamclod - Fat Lover

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Couch Training

A good piggy is a lazy piggy, so let’s all remember to spend plenty of time on the couch! I know in the beginning it might be hard to stay on the couch all day, but after a few weeks of denying yourself a walk around the neighborhood or a trip to the gym in exchange for the coziest spot in the house, you’ll forget all about exercise in no time!

Just like an athlete, it’s smart to prepare yourself for couch training, but instead of stretches we’ll be gathering supplies to keep us happy, comfy, and fed all day! Remember, when we’re prepared, we don’t have to get up!

Some handy piggy supplies might include your favorite blanket, some nice stretchy pajama pants for when you’ve been snacking, a nice big drink that you won’t have to refill, and of course, enough snacks to last you at least 3 hours! If you’re like me and you like variety, go ahead and bring everything you might want to eat into your piggy pad with you so that you don’t have to get up when you inevitably get hungry for it!

When it comes to couch training, lazy piggies shouldn’t look to accomplish much, but here are some activities to help keep you sedentary! There’s always tv to provide hours and hours of mind numbing entertainment, but don’t forget about movies, feedee podcasts, or even audio books! Having to actually read books might be hard for the lazier piggy, so don’t feel like you need to challenge yourself with any of those! Playing video games, scrolling TikTok, or watching dirty videos are other great options! Doing things that don’t require a lot of brain power is key!

Another good activity for couch piggies is playing with yourself, stuffing, or sexting/facetiming your feeder! If your feeder is home with you, you can always incorporate feedings into couch training, too, as a reward or incentive to not get up!

When you’ve thoroughly exhausted yourself by sitting on your ass and eating all day, it might be time for a much deserved nap! Couch training should include frequent naps so that the piggy doesn’t get too tired to eat!

If the piggy ever gets sore or feels the need to stretch after sitting for so long, try taking some pain meds and massaging your fat rather than getting up! If your feeder is home, ask them to rub you down to help with the soreness. There are also plenty of stretches piggies can do while remaining seated! You know you don’t really want to get up, so don’t!

After a few weeks of couch training, lazy piggies should notice that they’re sitting on the couch for at least 4 hours a day, but optimally 8 or 9 if you work from home! With any luck after a few months, your hips will be bigger than the couch cushions and you’ll be too fat to even consider getting up anymore!

ADHD pro tip: Use psychological warfare on yourself.

For example, in order to do long tasks, like folding laundry, I put on the Mario Hat:

The main feature of the Mario hat is that my headset does not fit over it, so when The Bees™ try to put me back in front of the screen, the headset issue forces me to remember why I put the Mario hat on, and back to the task I go

As a bonus, the Mario hat is also a very clear indicator to my housemates that business is getting done, and they have learned not to distract me when I'm wearing the "goofy-ass cosplay hat"

It's not stupid if it works.

In reference to my previous post, heres the gluttony month challenge

This is just a rough draft so recommendations are greatly appreciated!

Month of gluttony

(Feel free to adjust the numbers to make sure the challenge suits you, if the current challenge is too easy, add more, if its too hard eat less, but i do encourage that you only make it easier if you absolutely can’t)

Day 1 add 1000 calories to whatever you eat on a normal day

Day 2 full pizza in one sitting

Day 3 everything you wanna eat, eat double

Day 4 stack a burger as high as you can and add as many fries as can fit on the plate

Day 5 weight gain shake chug

Day 6 4 eggs, 4 pancakes, 4 slices of bacon (or meat alternative)

Day 7 tacobell binge, get AT LEAST 3 items

Day 8 2 liters of soda and a footlong sub

Day 9 grazing day, no big stuffing just continuous snacking, make sure theres always food by your side

Day 10 add 2k calories to what you usually eat

Day 11 do a food challenge at a local restaurant or desert place

Day 12 no turning down food for the day, anyone asks you to eat something, you have to (to make this day best, make sure to let people in these communities know youre doing this challenge)

Day 13 eat 2 pints of ice cream in one sitiing

Day 14 grazing day, no big stuffing just continuous snacking, make sure theres always food by your side

Day 15 add 3k calories to what you usually eat

Day 16 break day, youve worked so hard and the hardest is yet to come, you get one day to eat normally

Day 17 a full pt of pasta for you

Day 18 eat a full cake/pie

Day 19 grazing day, no big stuffing just continuous snacking, make sure theres always food by your side

Day 20 add 4k calories to what you usually eat

Day 21 break day, youve worked so hard and the hardest is yet to come, you get one day to eat normally

Day 22 move as little as possible, lay in bed all day and have your meals brought to you or bring snacks at the beginning of the day

Day 23 go into your local grocery store/gas station with $10 and get the most calories you can out and eat it in one sitting

Day 24 grazing day, no big stuffing just continuous snacking, make sure theres always food by your side

Day 25 add 6k calories to what you usually eat

Day 26 break day, youve worked so hard and the hardest is yet to come, you get one day to eat normally

Day 27 “bulking” a full pot of rice

Day 28 pick 3 fast food restaurants to get a full meal from in one trip

Day 29 a dozen donuts in one sitting

Day 30 10,000 calories in one day

If you’re looking for fun names for this depending on the month you could go with Balloon June, thick thigh july, stuffing september, fatober, and those are all I can think of, I’ll probably try and do it in balloon june or thick thigh july, not sure which 🤔

Dats a lot of information rn but DAMN.

TiL (click to go to the thread, which probably has more interesting tidbits I missed).

Bonus: