Be Sweet

be sweet

prince!hoshi x princess!reader (svthub garden collab)

word count: 18.7k

warnings: arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, modern royalty au, family issues, descriptions of food, unprotected sex

tag list (only svthub members since I’m revamping my tag list): @bitchlessdino @wondernus @idyllic-ghost @strawberryya @junkissed

notes: oh my god I finally have another fic out!! this one was truly a labor of love, thank you to all the svthub members that beta read any part of this story. this fic is for the @svthub garden collab and I am extremely grateful for the network’s help with this story <3 I’m very happy that this aligned with hoshi’s birthday! and a big big thank you to my beloved @wondernus for making this amazing header for me!!! as always, I hope y’all enjoy this and please leave feedback through reblogs !!!! and the title is based off the amazing song be sweet by japanese breakfast, listen along to it if you’d like!

The day’s events shouldn’t have felt so taxing, yet they were. There were only a few meetings you had to sit in on, both not requiring full participation. That sounded easy enough for you to handle, you were used to the rigor of royal meetings for years now.

It was easy enough to brush off any requests with a short comment of approval or neutrality, never expressing a thought of negativity unless the guest was close to your family.

You didn’t pull the princess card very often, especially since your meetings mainly consisted of fellow royals who knew the pressure of the job, but today felt different.

Maybe it was the dull pressure that resided in your head, making it hard to focus on the topics at hand. You curse yourself for not taking some kind of headache relief earlier, but now it has lodged itself in the middle of your brain.

You almost work up the nerve to speak up, but your aide beats you to it.

“Princess,” you feel a hand on your shoulder, “there's an urgent matter. We should leave immediately.” Her hushed tone makes your heart clench.

You could only hope no one in your family was hurt. You silently nod and clear your throat, bringing attention to yourself.

“I’m so sorry, but something urgent came up. I have to go, but please make sure to send me any notes and I’ll be sure to review them before we meet again,” You offer the room a small smile, enough to garner empathetic nods from the room.

You let out a shaky breath and stand from your seat, your aide trailing slightly behind your side as you both exit the room in silence.

“What’s going on?” You ask hesitantly.

“Someone has requested a private meeting with you, they asked to keep their identity a secret. Everyone in the family is okay, don’t worry,” The aide turns her head slightly to make sure she can see your response.

You can’t help but ask about your family first, it’s the only thought you have as the only child.

If someone’s passed on, you’re stepping up to handle the situation, and the emergency plans start to kick into high gear.

Luckily, that nightmare can remain at rest.

“Okay,” you nod slowly, trying to process who could want a private meeting with you.

Is an elder statesman concerned about his country? An estranged family member asking for a favor? It really could be anything or anyone.

You both keep a consistent pace through the cavernous halls of the royal estate, your footsteps echoing loudly with each step. You soon arrive at one of many conference rooms, and you’re surprised to see your aide face her back towards the door, she steps aside to let you walk in.

“I’ll be out here if you need anything, lest it escalates to that point,” She raises her eyebrows at you before looking away. That wasn’t a reassuring sign.

You brace yourself before going inside, but nothing seems to prepare you for who’s waiting.

“Hi, lovely.” Kwon Soonyoung smiles at you in a menacingly sweet kind of way, it makes your blood boil.

He’s dressed much nicer than you’re used to seeing him, he’s the type to wear baggy clothes that swallow him whole. In contrast, today he wears a crisp button-down with black slacks, his suit coat nowhere to be found. His signature designer sneakers are exchanged for loafers instead. There’s no logical reason why he could be here, considering his own busy schedule as a prince.

Soonyoung isn’t flying in for a private conversation just for the hell of it.

“Why are you here?” Your tone is resolute, not allowing for even an inch of resistance.

“That’s what we need to talk about. We’re getting married,” He lifts the corner of his mouth.

You let out a laugh that is nowhere near polite, in fact, you’re nearly cackling at the prospect of this idea. It’s simply so outlandish, so fantastical that every time you look at his face it seems more unfathomable.

Most princesses knew to let each other know that if they were charmed by him, Soonyoung was ultimately not marriage material. If anything, he was determined to make himself the least suitable husband possible.

He was the typical sweet boy turned party animal, spending most nights abroad drinking his days away with a new girl in his bed every night. He does show up to the occasional political obligation, but only when his team forces him to. That’s one reason why he bothers you so much, he has such little duty to his native country of Aranorin and the people in it that everyone else has to make him care about it.

“You’re joking, there’s no fucking way,” Your body vibrates from laughter, but you slowly come to your senses once you see he’s not cracking another joke.

“I’m not joking, I’m here to start our courtship.” His serious tone makes you start to consider the gravity of the situation.

“Hold on, so you think you can just come into Maritria, coming from god knows where,” You make a broad gesture toward him before continuing, “to formally start our relationship. That’s what you’re saying,” You cross your arms, returning to your originally defensive stance.

“Yes, this isn’t just coming out of thin air. This has been in the works for a few months now,” He raises his eyebrows to punctuate the timeline. It just makes you even more confused. Why wouldn’t anyone tell you about this?

“What do you mean?” You question.

He braces himself one last time. “I’ve been speaking to the king and queen about arranging our marriage for two months,” You almost think his face goes slightly sympathetic at his admission, but that’s wishful thinking.

Regardless, it’s a blow to your ego.

How could they not tell you? How could they so easily shift the responsibility onto him without saying a word?

It would be one thing if they were still considering other men, but to know the talks were final, that Kwon Soonyoung was your future husband whether you liked it or not, was a devastating realization.

“This is unbelievable.” You let out a shaky whisper, you’re so rattled that you force yourself to sit down and close your eyes, willing yourself to take a deep breath.

You open your eyes to see him hovering near you, clearly a stifled attempt to try and comfort you. Yet, he’s the least comforting person you’ve ever known.

“I don’t want to do this either. You’re definitely not my first choice for a wife.” He scoffs at the possibility that he could ever choose you without incentive.

“Yeah, clearly. You’d rather want a girl who would kiss your ass every day instead of being honest with you.” You retort.

The gossip that flitted between young royals all but confirmed your suspicion that he dumped any girl that tried to make a long-term connection with him. It was fine if he didn’t want to get married. Not all royals are meant for it, and he didn’t have as much pressure to marry off as the youngest child. He could get away with being a lifetime bachelor, but choosing that lifestyle wasn’t worth hurting other people in the process.

“Aw, is lifetime celibacy boring you that much to the point where you’re worried about the girls I sleep with?” He cracks a smile that you match with a forced laugh.

“No, I just think you dump them as soon as they realize how small your dick is.” You smile through your response, causing him to form his arms together.

“You’re so lucky now that we’re together, you can finally stop waiting for those nice guys who don’t have a personality to sweep you up,” His condescending tone makes you frustrated but not deterred from bantering completely.

“So I can end up dating one of your dickhead friends instead? Absolutely not,” You shake your head knowing how insufferable most of his friends are. Soonyoung just happened to be the worst of them.

“All jokes aside, I know you’re perfectly aware of why we’re getting married. I don’t have to look at the news to know things are bleak,” His straightforward approach forces you to swallow the lump in your throat.

You knew the country’s finances were not great.

You didn’t want or need to see the exact numbers, especially if it makes your day-to-day duties labored with worry. Although many political teams insist that princesses have no business in the logistical affairs of running a country, it meant everything to you to know how your country was faring in the world. Maritria already maintained a longstanding connection with Aranorin that gave your country some freedom to pursue other lucrative opportunities, but it dawned on you that it wasn’t enough.

“I’m doing this for my country, not out of some pathetic excuse you may have to avoid self-reflection. You can just get married to me and stop pretending to be a good person, right?” You ask bitingly.

“We both know I stopped pretending a long time ago. Marrying the nation’s sweetheart is just a bonus,” He smirks unapologetically, you don’t like the way the nickname sits on his tongue as if it’s his own.

“Is there anything else you want? I need to get back to work,” You stand up from your seat, trying not to look back at the door while you plot your escape. It was hard enough not to completely explode at him, and you needed to redirect your energy elsewhere.

“There is, I got you something,” He retrieves a small velvet box from his pocket. “It’s not an engagement ring, but just consider it a courtship gift.”

You open the box and lightly examine the ring. You know it’s far too expensive than most of the jewelry you’ve ever worn. Your family was wealthy, but Soonyoung’s family had the kind of money that you didn’t need to plan so carefully around. However, you don’t want to seem so easily impressed.

“It’s fine. When are you planning on proposing?” You brush him off easily.

“That ruins the surprise.” He smiles at you yet your face remains stoic.

“I’ll get your number from someone else, I don’t want to drag this out anymore.” You stuff the box in your dress pocket and start to make your way toward the exit.

“It’s been horrible to see you again, Your Royal Highness.” His stiffly formal greeting makes you turn around to face him.

You squint your eyes. “Don’t do that.”

“What?”

“The Royal Highness thing,” You point at yourself before continuing, “I’m not gonna say Your Royal Highness every time we’re in private. Don’t start giving a shit now.”

“Fine. Bye, darling.” He quips.

Your face contorts into disgust before you can stop yourself. “You’re not gonna make that my mandated wife nickname.”

“You don’t get to choose the nickname I give you, honey.” He approaches you and pinches your cheek before speaking, “Besides, it’ll be fun to try to figure out how to mask my hate for you in public.”

You cringe at his touches, but you straighten up immediately.

“Likewise,” You offer a tight-lipped smile before finally leaving the room.

You close the door behind you and take the breath you didn’t know you were holding in.

“Can you clear my schedule for the rest of the day? I need time to deal with this,” You finally look at your aide with an expectant glance.

“Yes, of course, princess.” She immediately grabs her phone to send notices to those involved. You can’t even remember who you were meant to see for the rest of the day. Your mind simply wanders to your parents, the next targets of your rage.

“I’m gonna go home. I don’t want to see anyone unless it’s my parents. Or him, not that I want him around anyways,” You roll your eyes at the thought of having to voluntarily communicate with him on a regular basis.

“Sounds good. I have his phone number, if you’d like it.” She offers.

“Ok,” You agree and quickly input his phone number. As you type in a contact name, you’re not sure what to call him.

Soonyoung is far too casual, it doesn’t feel comfortable yet. You’re absolutely not calling him by his title, not by a long shot.

The romantic pet names similar to the ones he used with you were not earned, so it left you stumped.

You settle on “headache,” because the ache in your temple is still there, bothering you immensely and now he’s adding to it.

You’re just lucky that you didn’t end up shouting at each other this time.

—

As if they could read your mind, your parents call you in for an emergency meeting before you can make it home. That pent-up rage is starting to make its way out before you even see them, it shows in the way you stomp to your father’s main office, marching far ahead of your aide.

You open the door without knocking, a major sign that you’re not looking forward to the discussion.

Your father gives you a warning look, but you’re not bothered by it. The staff turns their attention toward your bold entrance, immediately preparing themselves to leave.

Your father is sitting in his velvet study chair, poised as always. Your mother stands behind your father, idly leaning her weight against the back wall.

Her demeanor is not as composed, as if she knows you’re about to raise hell.

“We’d like a private meeting, thank you,” He gives a pained smile to the staff and they all file out silently. You watch them with a fiery gaze, waiting for the last person to close the door behind you.

When the door finally shuts, you whip your gaze to face them again.

“Soonyoung? Are you kidding me?” You exclaim.

“Y/N, please,” Your mother tries to intercept, but you’re faster than that.

“Actually, I’d like to know exactly why I was left out of the conversation about me having an arranged marriage, to begin with,” You cross your arms and lean back in your chair, preparing yourself for a bullshit excuse.

“Well, we were anticipating this kind of reaction,” he gestures at you in disapproval, “you weren’t meant to be involved in these discussions in the first place.” He speaks to you so patronizingly that it almost catches you off guard.

“So you can just decide that I’m getting married on a whim, just like that.” You snap your fingers impatiently.

“You know how the country is currently faring, you knew marriage could possibly be an option for financial security almost a year ago. Please don’t act like this is some affront to you,” Your father slowly raises his voice, fists slowly clenching as he elaborates.

“Yes, but you didn’t tell me things were this bad. You didn’t tell me that you had tried everything else. Hell, you didn’t even tell me that you were starting discussions about marriage!” You were trying your best to keep your voice even, but the defeat was starting to show through.

“We ultimately thought leaving you in the dark was best, but we miscalculated.” Your mother tries to cover for your father’s stern approach. You scoff, turning away for a moment before continuing.

Miscalculated is an understatement. You were devastated.

Your father seems to be annoyed that you were showing this much emotion while your mother seems ashamed that the situation has escalated this far. Their conflicting expressions just made you feel even worse, knowing that they couldn’t act as a united front. You wished that it was either complete anger or support from both of them.

“Soonyoung. You can’t possibly tell me he was the only option,” You turn back to them with glossy eyes.

“Sweetheart, you know Arinorin is one of our most important allies. Soonyoung would have always been an option. Even if there were better options, we couldn’t ignore him.” Her comforting tone does little to comfort you at the moment.

A tear finally falls onto your cheek. Her words hurt because she was right. Even if there was a perfect prince waiting for you out there, he wasn’t the prince of Arinorin.

“He hates me, you don’t see how much he hates me.” You shake your head and cover your face with your hands. You’re fully sobbing into your hands and it leaves your parents speechless. You know they’re looking at you with full judgment, but it didn’t matter.

“You’re giving your only daughter away to a man who despises her.” You seethe through your tears.

“He hasn’t given us any reason not to trust him.” Your father speaks up again and it breaks you down even further. He has that immovable stare on his face that signals his word is final.

You compose yourself before speaking again.

“When we get a divorce, it’ll be your fault.” You lift your hand to your cheeks, wiping away any stray tears left on your face.

“You’re being ridiculous, you’re saying that you won’t even try for your country?” Your father shifts in his seat, it seems like he wants to jump up and fully lecture you but it won’t happen.

You finally snap. “I have tried for this country! Every day, I have shown both of you what I’m capable of as a future queen, not asking you for anything. Now, the one part of my life where I should have control, choosing the person I’m married to, I have none.” By the time you finish speaking, your tears are gone by sheer will. Your eyes burn with the familiar sting of fatigue mixed with anger bubbling over the surface.

“I’m sorry, dear.” You see your mother wipe a tear of her own. You were grateful that she saw through you, at least at this moment. It was a quiet show of support that you needed amongst all these difficult feelings.

You put your head in your hands for a moment before looking up at them. “I’m going home and someone will send me the things I need to wrap my head around this entire situation.” Your tone is far more measured compared to before.

Before you can hurt your own feelings by hearing them out, you decide to make your exit. You’re nearly out of the door before you turn around again, letting go of the doorknob.

“I’ll always remember that he told me first instead of you.” With that, you leave without looking back at their expressions.

Hopefully, it’ll hurt like hell for them to hear it.

You ignore the staff members that were peering near the door, eagerly waiting to see who would break first. You’re sure that it looks dramatic, but you were far too concerned with your own feelings before anyone else’s.

—

Once you made it home, you were attempting to forget the stress of the day and it was going relatively well. You were able to catch up on a TV show you’d been forgetting to watch, and finally remembering to do self-care tasks that were left unattended due to your work.

Now, you’re taking a bubble bath with no intention of opening your eyes anytime soon. You needed to just sit, you didn’t have much time to do that most days.

The water is still fairly hot, enough to where you can sink down and continue to salvage any remaining calmness you might’ve had left.

Thus, your vibrating phone didn’t exactly make you feel at ease. You hope that it wasn’t one of your parents, considering your conversation didn’t have a clean finish. Any of their apologies would be falling on stubborn ears.

You glance at your lock screen and if anything, it’s worse.

It’s him. You pick up the phone with an anxious hand and press the accept button.

“What do you want?” You snap at him.

“You actually picked up!” He notes with a hint of surprise.

“Trust me, I didn’t want to.” You shift uncomfortably in the bathtub, the sloshing water calling you out immediately.

“Is that water? What are you doing?” His curious nature already annoys you, so it’ll be easier to dodge the question.

“None of your business.” Your free hand cups the remaining bubbles in the bath.

“Oh my god, is the princess naked on the phone with me?” He sounds far too pleased with himself. You can practically hear his shit-eating grin in the way he replies.

“You’re a horny little freak who hasn’t told me why he’s called yet.” You force yourself to sit up now that the relaxation in your body is quickly dissipating.

“Right. We’re doing intimacy coordination tomorrow. I figured you didn’t look at that schedule they gave you.”

“Shit.” You sigh just out of earshot.

Intimacy coordination isn’t common at all with arranged royal marriages. If a couple looked like they had never met before in their life, it was typically on them for not being more convincing. Yet, the number of public events you two have to be involved in over the foreseeable future warranted different circumstances. If you couldn’t look head over heels for each other at the wedding, it was going to spell trouble for both countries.

“I’m only in town until tomorrow night, so I don’t have to look at your face for much longer than that,” You sigh at his response, knowing that he’s not one to hold back with you.

“I wish you could leave sooner, maybe I could actually enjoy not seeing you even more than I already do.” You reach to open the drain.

“Just practicing my future husband duties by stressing you out, love,” You can practically hear his smile through the phone.

“That one isn’t bad, actually,” Your thoughts trail off once you hear it, but he brings you back to reality almost immediately.

“So that’s definitely not what I’m gonna call you.”

“I’m hanging up.” Your waning patience with him has officially run out and you’re itching to move on with your night.

“Bye, honey!” He’s laughing uncontrollably through the response and it makes your blood boil. It’s clear that this is already a joke to him.

“Fuck off,” You hang up before you have to listen to his laughter any longer. You put your head in your hands and let out a muffled scream.

He already wanted to make this courtship as excruciating as possible.

You finally stand up from the bath and wrap a warm towel around your body, staring at your reflection in the mirror.

Luckily, your parents did listen to your request and a massive document of schedules and timelines of your relationship with Soonyoung appeared in your email inbox.

You had only skimmed the schedule before Soonyoung called you, you stopped looking at it before it stressed you out beyond repair.

According to the timeline your parents created in accordance with his team, you were supposed to have been dating for 11 months at this point.

You can’t possibly imagine putting up a front for 11 months, but then again, you would have to pretend for the rest of your life.

That thought haunts you through the rest of your night routine.

How do you carve your life around Soonyoung when he’s creeping his way into everything?

How do you find peace when you’re with someone who’s determined to misunderstand you?

These questions have you wiping your tears as you attempt to fall asleep that night.

—

To your dismay, the intimacy training was first thing in the morning.

You were barely conscious, but somehow you arrived early with a slightly cloudy mentality and an overall dread for the next 2 hours.

You were the first of the three, besides your personal staff members, to arrive at the dance studio. You figured the space was far too big for what you were working through today, but you forego criticism to admire the room.

Admittedly, you didn’t go into many of the creative spaces throughout the palace because you weren’t a creative type. The arts were simply something you admired from afar, you didn’t have the talent even as a child to pursue these things seriously.

This apparently needed to be remedied as you notice the sweeping mirrors around the perimeter of the room. The hardwood floors were practically shining underneath your feet. You’re sure that whoever used the room was sure to enjoy themselves.

You’re admiring yourself in the mirror when you catch Soonyoung entering the room. He quietly greets the staff, giving short bows to everyone in sight.

It’s the only time you’ve seen him act with a royal demeanor, even in his casual workout clothes it’s a bit surprising to see him this way.

He makes his way over to you with a smile on his face.

“You’re early.” He eyes you up and down.

“Unfortunately, yes. You look.. comfortable.” You don’t mean to raise your voice up another octave, but you were just barely attempting niceties.

“So do you, you actually don’t look like you're trying too hard for once.” He leans against the mirror and gives you another judgmental look.

“It’s far too early in the morning to play this game, Kwon Soonyoung. Don’t get your feelings hurt.” You close your eyes before you get too angry, a slight change of pace from your typical interactions with him.

“It’s fine. I’m sure you’ll be more awkward considering you’ve only had two boyfriends, one who looked like he was your son.” He stifled a giggle.

“Chan was so sweet.” You pouted at the thought of your teenage boyfriend. He really was kind, probably the perfect first boyfriend that you could ask for. You remember how much he cried when you broke up with him. You just weren’t the same person you were when you started dating him at 16, so you needed the space to grow apart.

Unfortunately, Soonyoung was right about the mom thing.

“It’s not my fault I had a growth spurt and the stylists kept dressing me like a divorce lawyer.” You insisted.

You recalled how harsh the style blogs were on you back then, many claimed that you’d never find your own personal style as long as other people kept dressing you older than you actually were. Unfortunately, they were also right. You live and learn though.

However, you didn’t even want to think about your second boyfriend.

“I’m just saying good chemistry doesn’t come naturally to all of us, it’s okay to ask for help.” His faux concern was especially irritating.

You weren’t that awkward with men, were you?

You didn’t have much time to consider an answer before a young woman walked into the studio.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you both! My name is Elise and I’ll be leading you both through training today.” She offers her hand out to you for a handshake and you accept with a smile. She does the same to Soonyoung and moves toward the mirror.

“So, how long have you known each other?” She dives right into discussions with the question.

“Around 15 years or so?” The number that came out of your mouth was definitely a rough estimate, but it sounded about right.

You vaguely remember being introduced to Soonyoung and his older siblings at a fancy state dinner as a child. He was far less mischievous then, a bit timid around everyone except his family. Since then, you’ve ran into each other regularly due to the relationship between your parents. They were far closer to each other than you were with him and his siblings, so the situation feels a bit ironic now.

“Okay, but I’m assuming you haven’t been in contact very often?” She clarifies.

“Not at all.” He chimes in.

“Right, so we’ve got our work cut out for us then. Today isn’t gonna be too complicated, you’re just gonna be trying some physical activities to see how natural that looks.” Elise smiles in order to lighten the mood, but you’re certain it won’t work out.

“So, what are we gonna practice, hugging?” He scoffs, and you’re certain that he thinks this is all bullshit. You weren’t happy about it either, but keeping up appearances was the most important part of this.

“Yes, I know that sounds weird, but I promise it’ll pay off,” Elise continues to offer reassuring statements, but he’s not convinced and frankly, neither are you. You exchange a glance with him and decide to take the lead as the awkwardness continues to sit in the air.

“So where should we start?” You ask out of a mix of curiosity and dread.

“Let’s just have you both hold hands.”

Soonyoung extends a hand out to you with a smirk on his face. You’d rather slap him, but you’d think it would leave Elise traumatized.

You take his hand a bit too forcefully and adjust yourself within his hold. By glancing at the two of you in the mirror, you notice two things.

First, his hands are warm, a bit too warm for this moment.

Secondly, his thumb is absentmindedly brushing against the back of your hand. You can’t call attention to it or else it’ll stop, and you decide in the moment that it’s too relaxing. He probably doesn’t even notice that he’s doing something so romantic, that little bastard.

“Okay, so how does that feel?” Elise asks.

“Fine.” The reply forces itself out of your mouth.

“It’s fine.” He agrees with a nod of his head. He also peers at the both of you in the mirror with a slight curiosity, his head tilting slightly.

“We do look good together, though.” He murmurs to himself. You’re not sure if it’s the arrogance peeking through and he only believes you look good while he’s with you, but maybe for a second, you can see what he’s talking about.

“Good, and what’s a small physical gesture you can do to make each other feel at ease?” Elise’s question causes you to look up at him.

This feels unnecessary since Soonyoung is not a nervous person. No matter what, his particularly frustrating charm and gregarious personality never allow any anxiety to show to others.

“I can just do this.” He calls attention to the thumb thing and that puts you on the spot.

He seems incapable of needing comfort. It’s one of the things that keeps a silent distance between the two of you. You believe that he remains emotionally stunted in order to navigate his world a bit easier.

He can let the girls who want something more from him down easy, and they don’t realize how bad it really felt to be pushed away until they never see him again.

You didn’t want to end up in that position.

“I don’t know.” You let your mind wander for a moment.

Yet, he was bold. He was always decisive in what he wanted, never caring about what his actions made him look like if it was for better or worse.

You figured that you should be bold too.

You intertwine your fingers deeper into his grasp and pull his hand to your lips, leaving a small peck on the back of his hand.

His eyes widened immediately. “That’s quite forward, princess.”

“I needed to one-up you,” You answer nonchalantly, but you don’t miss the slight spark in his eyes. It was unexpected, and you were always going by the book.

Elise ignores your conversation and continues her questioning. “So I assume you both will be interested in PDA?”

“To a certain extent, I don't see why not.” You pull back slightly into your reserved nature, but he runs with it.

“Yes, we’re supposed to be a more open and progressive couple to represent a new generation of royals, so it would be nice to be a bit bolder,” He nods decisively along with his response.

You didn’t really think about the relationship like that until he mentioned it. While you were attuned to a certain sense of responsibility as the singular face of your country’s new generation of leadership, it was known that you fought back against regressive norms brought up in your daily work.

Why not lean into something new when the image of your respective countries so desperately needed a refresh?

“That’s good to know. I know you both have different styles, but I think there are ways we can meet in the middle here.” Elise notes.

That statement proves to be true for the rest of your session. Elise leads you both through hugging and slightly provocative gestures that make you want to crawl out of your skin, but you both fumble your way through it.

Soonyoung seems insistent on embarrassing you with more revealing gestures while yours are relatively contained. He’s being a bit too playful for your liking, but it helps you understand his personality a bit more.

You decide that you want a moment to speak with him before he flies back home later that evening, excusing Elise and the remaining staff to leave you both in the studio.

“When do we see each other again?” You ask.

“You’re a bit too eager, aren’t you darling?” He smirks at you, and you lose the slight bit of faith you had instilled in him before.

“Shut up, I’m just trying to remember this stupid schedule.” You grumble. You resort to pulling out your phone instead, quickly finding the most up-to-date iteration of the relationship timeline in your email inbox.

“I’ll be in Arinorin in a few weeks to meet your parents,” Your brain works through the schedule quickly, scanning the information fast enough to say it out loud.

“Oh shit.” He mutters under his breath.

Oh shit was right. You haven’t had a proper conversation with the king and queen since you were a teenager. It was typical family friend fare, asking how your studies were going, if your hobbies were still things you enjoyed and a faint interest in any other topics that you happened to bring up.

Since then, there were only brief interactions in passing that were fairly positive. They must’ve thought quite well of you if they agreed to have their youngest son marry you, but that was something you’d have to inquire about with them.

“And to go on a date with you,” You mumbled.

That’s what really rattled you. It wouldn’t be real until no one else was around to direct and stage your romance, it was up to the both of you to make it happen.

“Right, I’ll get to choose what we get up to.” You can tell that his brain is creating a vision that will be less than satisfactory, and you can’t fight the urge to attempt to gain control.

“We aren’t going on your yacht, are we? I think you’ve broken enough hearts there.” You tease him.

“Very funny, and no, we’re not going on the boat… anymore.” He admits with an eye roll.

“See! I knew you were gonna take me there!” You interject, letting out the laugh that had been sitting in your chest for a minute or so.

“I’m never anybody’s boyfriend, cut me some slack,” He says it as if it’d get him off the hook for being mentally checked out during this process.

That much was obvious from the lack of planning, but you’d have to give him some space to try and impress you.

“Yeah, that’s pretty clear. I know long-term planning isn’t your strength.” You bite back and he brushes it off easily.

“Get all your jokes out now, but I’m gonna impress you. Mark my words,” He points at you while heading towards the door.

“We’ll see about that, loverboy,” You check your phone absentmindedly while he sees himself out.

“Is that my nickname?” He pokes his head back into the door with an excited tone.

“Bye, Soonyoung,” You grit your teeth into a smile and watch him reluctantly leave the room.

You can only hope your future in-laws aren’t as insufferable as him.

—

A few weeks later, the trip to Arinorin has arrived and all of its possible consequences are driving you up a wall. The culmination of meeting with your future in-laws, the date with Soonyoung, and the idea of being perceived as his partner outside of your home country are all slightly nauseating.

At first, it was just fun and games, but now, as the plane lands, the tension settles beneath your skin. Soonyoung was supposed to be picking you up, but you didn’t have much faith in that happening.

You barely remembered to grab the ring he gifted you so you could wear it while you were in town, simply as a reminder that this was all happening.

You exit the plane with your luggage in tow, only for Soonyoung to be waiting on the tarmac. He’s accompanied by a large black SUV that is clearly not his personal car, but his stance is trying to convince you that it is.

“Hi, princess.” He calls out with a wave of his hand.

“When are you gonna actually call me by my name?” You approach him with squinted eyes, your vision steadily adjusting to the early afternoon sun.

“When this feels less awkward, so give or take a few years,” He jokes.

“Not funny,” You gesture to him to take your luggage, and he catches the hint once you look at him again. You don’t want to shoulder smaller tasks onto his staff, you wanted to see how he would handle these things instead.

“How was the flight?” He calls out to you again, you hear the trunk slam shut and he comes into view again to anticipate your answer.

“It was alright, I’m just tired.” You rub at your temples to punctuate the feeling.

“Hopefully your room will be good enough,” He sounds somewhat considerate while opening the door for you. It feels wrong.

You slide into the back row with him following behind you. He shuts the door and his driver promptly begins the drive to the palace.

“Are you nervous about the trip? My parents aren’t exactly as kind as yours,” Soonyoung chuckles.

You let out a deep sigh. You wouldn’t call them kind considering the circumstances, in fact, you’re barely on speaking terms with them outside of public obligations.

Was it petty? Yes.

Was it also justified? Yes.

You figured that icing them out for a while would help them come to their senses. If worst comes to worst, maybe it could help you gain further control over the wedding.

Nevertheless, you were still upset with them.

“They’re really not that great, and I’d say that I’m pretty good with parents,” You avoid his glance to look out the window instead, taking in the sights of the country.

You don’t have many memories of Arinorin. Many of them were informed by meetings that you couldn’t even remember anymore.

“You’re right. The nation’s sweetheart can charm anyone. Plus it’ll give me time to think about what we’re gonna do on the date,” He affirms with a nod of his head.

“God, don’t remind me. If I’m lucky, we’ll be meeting at a strip club.” You roll your eyes.

“You really have no faith in me!” He pouts. You don’t give into him though.

“It's hard enough just being in a car with you.”

—

Soonyoung doesn’t ever have to think about first dates.

In fact, he doesn’t think he’s been on a proper first date since he was a teenager. Even then, it was low stakes. He could just pick something random for him and another girl to do, and it would be completely inconsequential to his life.

Now, impressing his future wife with an incredible first date feels monumental. He barely knew anything about you besides that goody two shoes personality of yours. It seemed like everyone was suddenly obsessed with you and he was the last to know.

He decides that a midday picnic is inoffensive enough for the both of you to enjoy. If either of you were miserable with each other, there would at least be good food to distract from it. The sunny weather was already on his side, now he just had to charm you.

You waved slightly as you approached his picnic blanket, stopping before your feet could cover the edge of the blanket.

“Wow, this is a lot,” Your eyes landed on the assortment of food spread across the blanket. There was a spread of fruit, snacks, and sandwiches for the two of you to eat together. Soonyoung knew he didn’t completely fuck up by the way you nodded, but you weren’t exactly jumping to praise him in general.

“I don’t get a hello?” He attempts a greeting but it falls flat.

You roll your eyes. “Hi, Soonyoung,” You state halfheartedly, crossing your arms in protest.

“Hi. Does the food look alright?” He takes off his sunglasses and fixes his gaze on you.

“Yeah, I figured you’d be inept at setting up a date, so it’s surpassed my expectations already,” You give him a tight-lipped smile before sitting on the blanket. He attempts to ignore the way your dress hikes up slightly to expose your thigh. The sundress that you’re wearing seems to expose every detail of your body that he’s neglected to look at, but he snaps back into focus when he hears you clear your throat.

Once you both start eating, it’s clear how little you have in common with each other. Sure, he figured it’d be a little difficult to get to know you, but the lingering silence doesn’t exactly make him eager to strike up a conversation.

“How do you feel about all this?” You ask suddenly. It catches him so off guard that he chokes on the piece of fruit he was chewing.

He coughs, raising the attention of the nearby guards. You turn to them, giving a signal that he’s okay before turning around. “Damn, I didn’t think the question was that bad,” You laugh sadly.

“No, it’s fine. I just didn’t expect it.” He waves off any suspicion.

He takes a deep breath. “I mean, I’m not thrilled. I know the economic aspect of this is the most important thing, but my parents are practically dying to marry me off,” He reaches for a bottle of wine, grabbing a nearby glass before pouring himself something to drink.

“So I’m not the first?” You ask.

“Absolutely not,” He snickers. This relationship would mark the 5th time his parents have tried to set him up with a fellow royal. He has managed to sabotage all previous attempts on account of pissing his parents off.

The girls they set him up with were nice enough, but he had no chemistry with any of them. He felt like sparing them from a relationship full of misery by ruining it before it even started.

“So your parents figured you wouldn’t want to escape a marriage instead of just dating?” You attempt to clarify.

“Bingo,” He sips his wine before handing you the bottle.

“So, does that mean you’re gonna try to escape this?” You accept it and pour yourself a fuller glass, immediately taking a sip after asking the question.

“I think you’d be pretty fucked if I tried to do that. I’m not that much of an asshole,” He shakes his head and laughs it off. Since being hated by his parents was bad enough, Soonyoung didn’t want to become the center of an emerging geopolitical crisis.

It would fuck everyone over, especially you. He could at least admit to himself that you didn’t deserve that.

“That’s nice, I guess,” You smile halfheartedly at him.

“Don’t say I never did anything for you.” He speaks in an unusually flat tone before turning away to face the view of sprawling hills and seemingly endless mountaintops. The sight of the burgeoning nature surrounding the houses below him brought a sense of peace.

Before you asked, he hadn't given the entire arranged marriage process much thought. Sure, he knew that you’d be getting married relatively soon, but he had no idea how to present himself as a good partner. He didn’t exactly know how to move forward knowing that everyone expected him to fail.

“You really are a dickhead,” You mumble.

“You’re not exactly sweet as pie either. Everyone loves you, but you’re fucking miserable to be around.” He responds in a piercing tone.

“Well, if you get to be a cunt, then so should I. It’s not like I’m getting anything out of this,” You shoot back.

You were definitely worse off as an only child. Sure, he was the black sheep of the family, but he could get away with plenty of things as the youngest. His siblings were off impressing the world by ruling the country, getting PhDs, having a shit ton of kids, and generally being upstanding citizens.

However, it didn’t make sense for him to try that hard.

“Your country’s finances won’t go to shit, isn’t that enough?”

His question seems to bring out another layer of frustration for you. “No, I want a husband who gives two shits about me past my bra size, but apparently that’s wishful thinking,” You angrily bite into a strawberry and turn away from him.

“Look, we don’t have to do anything except pretend that we’re in love. So, let’s not do anything past that. Alright?” He proposes. Your face is unreadable, but the way you chew on the inside of your lip shows that he’d never get to know what’s eating away at you.

“Alright,” Your body language seems to retreat completely.

The mood of the date is different after that, and his request seems to render you both silent as you eat the rest of the food without interacting. The view of the countryside makes him wish that he didn’t have to deal with any of this, just live in a tiny house where no one had to remind him about his impending marriage.

—

The entire day leading up to the Youth Summit Ball left you feeling incredibly rattled.

You know the staff is perfectly capable of executing your vision for the ball as they've done year after year. It was one of your signature events as a royal, and its annual presence in Maritria brought much-needed attention to the country with the presence of young royals and its ever-popular red carpet.

Tonight, however, would be the first time Soonyoung is escorting you as a “longtime” boyfriend in public. You’ve been seen together in public, yes, but this is a public declaration that you are hypothetically in love with him. As a co-chair of the event, nothing could go wrong since many of your peers would be attending with their families.

Nothing could go wrong, thus you needed him to know the extent of your anxiety.

You heard a knock on the door, and you’re accepting them inside without a second thought.

“You wanted to see me?” He asks as he steps inside the dressing room.

You’re thrown by how handsome he looks. You argued with each other over text about what he should wear, he insisted that it didn’t matter. Yet, your color palettes were not to be betrayed. You internally thank yourself for persisting with a navy suit. It contrasted well with his platinum-blonde hair that seemed to attract as many eyes as possible while you were out in public together.

“Yes, I did. You need to behave tonight, I’m not risking anything because you want to get your dick wet,” You scoff.

“Trust me, I already got this little lecture from your mother. I’ll be fine.” He smirks at you, not doing much to quiet the anxiety that was starting to build in your stomach.

“Well, your girlfriend is telling you herself that I’m serious about this,” Your hands automatically move up to his shoulders, smoothing out the nonexistent creases on his jacket. It was still weird to call yourself his girlfriend, the word felt too stiff coming from your mouth.

“And I’m reluctantly listening,” He moves his hand to your bare shoulder, brushing something off with a few light sweeps. You opted to wear a black form fitting gown, the design was relatively simple but it was still eye-catching. You thought you noticed Soonyoung taking glances at you.

“Do you remember everything I told you about tonight?” You remind him.

“Why wouldn’t I remember, Y/N?” He gives you that “are you serious” kind of look and you’re starting to buckle under the pressure.

“I don’t know, maybe you’re nervous or something,” You turn away from him, peering into the mirror to check if there are any flaws with your makeup.

“I don’t get nervous about stuff like this. Are you nervous?” You see him approaching, but you put your focus immediately back on your face.

“What? No, stop, I’m fine,” You purse your lips to check your lipstick. He mimics you, pushing his lips out like a duck and it startles you.

“Those cheeks of yours are telling me otherwise,” He rubs a finger on your cheek and you slap it away almost immediately.

“Stop, Soonyoung, I’m serious. Let’s just get through the night.” You shoot him a warning look and he puts his hands up defensively.

“Okay, no funny business. I promise,” He smiles. It’s not enough to convince you, but your mind is too focused on creating a good outcome for the night that it’s fruitless trying to argue with him any further.

“Ready for a good time?” He offers his hand out to you, and you reluctantly accept it.

“It sounds bad when you say it.”

—

“You know, she said we should kiss just once to see what it’s like,” His voice was slightly slurred as if the alcohol was slowly taking possession of his words.

“You’re just tipsy,” You throw your purse across the living room and fumble to lock the door shut.

“No, you are, I saw you sneak two shots out of the kitchen,” He points with a shocked smile, “plus a few glasses of chardonnay. You’re not fooling me, princess.”

He was probably right, but that didn’t make it any better. “God forbid that I wanna drink at my own event. Why are you at my place right now?” You’re irritated at his presence almost constantly.

“You wanted me to do everything for you, remember? So you could just hop into bed with no worries,” He waves his arm into the air.

The event went well, accounting for your drunkenness and Soonyoung’s unpredictable nature.

“What are you waiting for then? Take my shoes off,” You flail your arms helplessly, your body is slowly slumping forward but Soonyoung catches you before you stumble.

“Okay, let's sit down, miss bossy. You’re ordering me around when I was a perfect boyfriend tonight,” He guides you to your couch, slowly easing you down onto the seat when you let out an audible sigh of relief.

“You were an average boyfriend who didn’t look stupid in front of paparazzi. Don’t feel too proud of yourself.” Your tolerance for his shenanigans was lower than usual now that you were drunk, and you didn’t feel bad about fighting back at him.

“All of this is extra credit,” He tries to reason himself out of the bare minimum.

“Taking care of me is not extra credit, it’s the standard. You’re supposed to be taking care of me for the rest of my life, not just right now. Idiot,” You roll your eyes and close them briefly before his voice forces you awake again.

“You’re so mean to me, your poor boyfriend is still learning what you like,” He finally takes off your heels and you let out a deep sigh of relief.

“Better?” He asks with a smile. You know that he wants to laugh at you so badly, but you’re too far gone to care.

“Much better,” You close your eyes for a moment before snapping again. “Take off my jewelry.”

He removes your earrings quite easily, but you still feel a bit flustered when he leans toward your ear to focus on undoing the clasps of your necklace.

He settles his face near your neck to fully remove your diamond necklace, he cradles it in his hand and you think you might go slightly insane. He places it on the coffee table gently and looks back at you with a smirk.

“What’s going on?” You pick up on his expression.

“Nothing, I’m gonna do your hair.” He turns your body so your back is facing him now. He’s sort of just feeling around for bobby pins, placing them down on the coffee table whenever he pulls another out. Once he takes out the decorative pins near the top of your head, your hair finally feels free.

“Soonyoung?” You ask suddenly.

“Hmm?” He’s organizing all the hairpins but takes a moment to look up at you.

“Do you think I’m pretty?” Your voice is a bit timid, nervous about how he might react. You would’ve contained yourself in any other circumstance, but now you just needed to head that you were worth complimenting.

“Where’s all this coming from, you’re just fishing for compliments now,” He shakes his head with a smile on his face.

“No, I’m not. It’s just-,” Your thoughts trail off, but Soonyoung catches your attention again with a gentle hand on your thigh. You don’t jump to move it away.

“Everybody was looking at us, but some people looked at us like I wasn’t meant to be with you. Is that true? Am I not pretty enough to be with you?” You feel increasingly insecure the more you elaborate. You didn’t think you’d feel this upset about it, but it meant your work was failing. You weren’t a believable couple and it was obvious to you now.

“Y/N, don’t say that. You’re beautiful,” His voice is noticeably softer.

“Not beautiful enough to sleep with. You wouldn’t sleep with me,” You rub your eyes with your hands and Soonyoung removes them from your face, laughing at the traces of makeup on the sides of your fingers. It seems like he still caught what you said though when he stops laughing.

“And that’s not the point. You’re just saying shit now, all of the guys in there would be lucky to even kiss you,” He insists. He stands up suddenly and walks toward your room. You assume he gets up to find makeup wipes, but you sit with his statement in the meantime.

You contemplate if you’d even want to kiss any of the royals who came to the party. You knew your standards were high and wondered if that would chase them off before they even had a chance to kiss you. He comes back and immediately wipes across your face the moment he sits down. His approach is slightly rough, but you couldn’t exactly get mad at him. He was just doing what you asked of him.

He’s analyzing if he got all of the makeup off when you speak up.

“But you’re not lucky?” You remark quietly.

That makes him clear his throat. You can even spot a hint of blush across his cheeks. It appears that you’ve riled him up slightly.

“I am lucky,” He lowers his head to rub the back of his neck with his hand, “You give me a run for my money.”

“Show me how lucky you are.” You continue to tempt him to see how he’ll react.

“I thought you wanted me to behave tonight?” He’s almost willing to act, but he still waits for your approval.

“I do, but she said we should kiss for practice,” You swallow lightly in anticipation. He rests his forehead against yours and you can hear his breath hitch in his throat.

You’ve been good, you’ve been so good all of your life. You don’t think you’ve done anything worth batting an eye at for your entire adolescence and young adulthood, but it was exhausting.

It was exhausting to be good, the voice of reason, the example of a perfect daughter to your country.

You weren’t in love with him, absolutely not.

Yet, the curiosity about what his lips tasted like made you want to be rebellious.

“I didn’t think you heard me.” He chuckled softly.

“I did,” You nodded your head against his. Soonyoung didn’t ask for permission to be bad, he just did it. That’s what runs through your brain when your lips meet his. Neither of you move for a moment and you’re afraid that you messed up.

That is until you feel Soonyoung’s hand cradling the back of your neck. He’s tilting into the kiss and you know he’s comfortable by the way his tongue slips into your mouth.

He tastes like tequila mostly, but there’s a hint of sweetness that you suspect comes from the dessert table at the party.

It feels so much better than you expected, now you know why girls couldn’t get enough of him. Even if it is just practice, he still took it far more seriously than you expected.

You haven’t had many kisses that were worth remembering, but this was something spectacular.

You know he’s kissed people far more times than you have, but there’s still a hesitant energy there that you can’t describe.

Did you make him nervous?

He pulls away first and it surprises you. He takes a deep breath and looks at you with tired eyes.

“Just a practice kiss, right?” He whispers.

“Just practice.” You affirm, pulling your head back. You’re not sure why it felt so disappointing to not have another kiss. You were sobering up which made the realization even worse.

“I’ll leave now before you kick me out.” He stands up from the couch and you don’t follow him. He makes it to the door and turns around.

“Don’t stay up all night reading thinking you can fight a hangover, go to bed.” He points at you with a teasing finger.

“Don’t lecture me, Kwon Soonyoung.” You stand up and walk toward your bedroom, ignoring whatever expression is on his face. You don’t look back until you hear the front door shut.

He didn’t say goodbye and that was probably for the best. You didn’t need any other memory from this part of the night to linger in your brain.

You rush back to the living room to lock the door again and sulk back to your bedroom. You eye the novel on your bedside table, you left it there earlier in the day to pick up whether you ended up drunk from the party or not.

Damn, he was good.

—

There were now multiple days, even weeks, between your shared schedules with him, and the more time that went by after the kiss only made you want to see him again.

Of course, he was friendly to you in public, and you were both able to handle public events with ease, but

the timing left you with many questions, and one stuck out in particular.

Why was he nervous to kiss you?

Today, he requested a private schedule for the two of you before he left Maritria early next week. There was a sneaking suspicion that it was the proposal since there wouldn’t be another reason for you to be alone.

He never wants to be left alone with you, it’s all about putting on an act for others that makes it so thrilling for him.

That’s what you try to tell yourself, at least.

“You’re here,” He eyes you carefully as you approach the entrance of the private garden. He’s surrounded by endless blooms, it’s almost suffocating how romantic it’s supposed to feel.

“I’m here because you want me here,” You offer quietly.

“Right, well I don’t want to waste any time. I’m sure my princess has lots of work to do today.”

On any other day, he’d be right, but the underlying suspicion of his true intentions made you want to linger.

He grabs your hand before you have another second to contemplate your feelings.

“I know that I’m not the person you wanted this to be from, but that’s how things have turned out. We both can’t get what we want, but I want to make this a good memory for us regardless of the situation.”

He gets down on one knee before asking. “So, Y/N, will you marry me?”

His hands held a small black velvet box and he quickly opened it to reveal a stunning oval shaped diamond ring. There are definitely more carats than you've ever seen on an engagement ring, and the gold band it sits upon feels equally regal.

It almost makes you sick from how ornate and gaudy it is, but it’s yours.

“You know this is the part where you say yes,” He clears his throat.

“Give me a second,” You mumble. You can’t see his glance, instead choosing to look at the ring. Everything else felt like a game before, but this was real.

He is proposing to you, offering a ring to you to signify a love that wasn’t actually real. That kind of sappy affectionate love you dreamed of would never come to fruition, possibly for the rest of your life.

It’s a realization that is entirely too bleak for the moment.

You’re meant to be happy, but if your parents were here they’d pick apart how long it took you to respond.

“Yes, I’ll marry you,” You force a smile onto your face to appease him. It doesn’t seem like he notices the pained expression within it, only offering a content sigh.

“Great.” He rises to his feet to place the ring on the appropriate finger. It feels like it’s all over now, you can imagine the rest of your future laid ahead of you on a set path.

The thought of taking constant publicity trips as a couple, having future heirs to the throne, and the idea of bringing him into Maritria’s lineage makes you wonder if you did everything you could to save yourself.

There is no out, just you, him, and the impenetrable distance between you both.

You wonder how a couple might build a life with an unstable foundation.

“Should we kiss?” His question brings you back to your senses.

“What?”

“For the camera, we should kiss.” He points to a photographer making themselves known from a nearby bush.

You swallow the lump in your throat and nod.

This is your duty, right?

You pull him close and kiss him, trying to ignite the small spark you felt when he was at your apartment.

Yet, the feeling doesn’t come and you pull away from him gently after a few moments.

“We just need some photos for social media and then you’re free to go.” The photographer reassures you with a kind tone.

You snap into professional mode in order to speed up the process. Your hand rests on his chest, angling it slightly to show off the ring. You force a smile, trying to indulge in the fantasy of it all. Once he gets a few shots of that pose, you turn back to look into Soonyoung’s eyes.

He was unfortunately quite handsome, it’s a shame that nothing else about him could make you happy.

“What are you thinking about?” His questioning pulls you out of your head once again, but you’re not sure what to tell him.

Being honest with him means making a sweet moment uncomfortable, and lying to him means letting your pain continue to simmer.

You go for the latter, to spare everyone a difficult moment. “Nothing. The ring is beautiful,” You shift the conversation with a quiet tone in order to deflect the topic off of you. He smiles widely, his face tells you that he didn’t expect you to like it one bit.

“I let my team take the reins with it since I don’t know you that well.” He responds so earnestly, and you’re not sure if he understands how hurtful that sounds.

You take it in stride though. “Well, it’s beautiful.”

He only nods and takes a moment to adjust his suit jacket.

You watch him brush over the fabric with his hands, wondering how in the world you ended up here. Even if things were different, fate would probably still bring you into Soonyoung’s orbit in another way.

Regardless, it’s enough to make you even more upset. Once the photographer is satisfied with the variety of shots, you’re about to leave when you feel Soonyoung’s hand touch your shoulder.

“Hey.” He turns your body to face him with his hand. You’re not sure how much longer you can stand in front of him without crying.

“We’re still on for this weekend, right?”

You can’t be bothered to remember what he means, but it’s best just to agree. It’s not like you had much of a choice.

“Yeah. I’ll see you then.” You nod at him before leaving. The moment you turn your back, you can’t hold back the stray tears falling onto your cheeks. You can only hope that he can’t hear your sniffling.

—

Now that the proposal news was officially out, your life had an even bigger microscope on it than usual. You’re used to being judged on a public scale, however, there were millions of people who were obsessed with Soonyoung that now wanted to know every single piece of information about his new fiancée.

Your Instagram posts and tweets had an influx of new activity that you could barely keep up with, and the new attention was starting to work into every corner of your life, even the time you spent with Soonyoung.

“Can you tell your fans to stop making video edits of me?” You stuff your phone into your jacket pocket in slight annoyance. You were genuinely trying to enjoy the private dates you had with Soonyoung, even if they were heavily guarded by staff. It was only right that you treated these outings as the dates they were, opportunities to get to know him better in order to connect with him that would hopefully prevent any issues further down the line.

Today, the location of the date was your choice and the staff had elected to leave you alone in light of the proposal news. Thus, you decide to take Soonyoung to a small beach on the outskirts of Maritria’s capital city. You’ve spent many days throughout your teenage years in your favorite spot, a cove in a hidden part of the beach. You figured that it’d be smart to let him in on a few things that you enjoyed, namely one of your most treasured spots in the country.

“That means they like you, and since when are you afraid of attention?” His interest is now piqued as he places his head in his hand to face you.

“Since always, I’m not exactly a Kwon Soonyoung-level attention whore,” You scoff.

“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” He speaks in an exaggerated sad tone, accompanied by his pretending to cry. He turns his head to face you, sunglasses attempting to hide the goofiness peeking through.

“Still, I mean this is all a lot. I’m not exactly important enough to warrant 700,000 new followers.” You attempt to redirect the conversation.

As soon as the remark leaves your mouth, Soonyoung takes his sunglasses off. He looks at you with a confused glance, as if your self-deprecation was a personal attack on him.

“What are you talking about? You’re a princess and a genuinely nice one at that. That’s pretty hard to come by these days,” He compliments you. It pulls at your heartstrings very slightly, enough to absentmindedly check for a blush on your cheeks before snapping out of it.

“You wouldn’t know, you don’t see anything past the title before you sleep with these girls,” You attempt to defuse the response again, but he’s prepared.

“First of all, those days are behind me. I’m a proper engaged man now,” His thumb grazes your engagement ring and it sends a chill down your spine.

“And second, that statement is funny coming from someone who’s marrying me for financial stability,” He pokes your shoulder and you move to cover it.

“Correction, my country’s financial stability. You’ll have to get used to living here once we’re married,” You clarify.

“Who said we’re living in Maritria?” He argues instantly. You let out a sigh and try to understand the perspective he’s going to bring up.

“Soonyoung, wouldn’t it be smart to show how much the country’s condition would improve with you here?”

“Yes, but imagine being in Arinorin. The optics of giving you away to the country that saved yours seem pretty positive to me.” He suggests. While idealistic, the perspective is shortsighted. He didn’t necessarily have a shining future back in his home country considering his reputation and lack of communication with his parents.

“Even though you’ll never be king?” You didn’t mean for the question to sound so mean, but it’s true.

He was not the country’s future king, not unless there were dire circumstances that would force him into the position.

He scoffs. “Way to rub it in.” He looks into the distance, not acknowledging your glance anymore.

“I’m just saying. At least here, you’ll have the chance to have more of the public’s attention. There’s nothing to fight over, it’s just me,” You add sympathetically.

There’s a lingering silence that you don’t want to fill for the moment. You can tell he’s mulling over your words by the way he’s looking down at his hands, playing with his sunglasses idly.

“You know, you don’t have to stay there. Not to be that person, but if the idea of staying makes you feel worse, then what’s the point?” You soften your tone in an attempt to bring him back.

“You don’t know what it’s like,” He shakes his head resolutely. You feel your window of opportunity to try and comfort him closing rapidly.

“Ok, you’re right, but I’ve kept up with the news. I know a bit about how my future in-laws have treated you. You’ll be okay here,” You place a hand on his shoulder.

“I think they’ve wanted me to leave for a while, honestly. I’d go somewhere where they don’t have to think about me anymore.” He scratches the back of his neck before focusing on a small tidepool that sat directly below the both of you.

His statement is enough to now squeeze his shoulder, gently rubbing it to show your support.

“I’m sorry.” You offer quietly.

“It’s not your fault. I don’t think being a problem child fits me very well anymore.”

“You can reinvent yourself here if that sounds alright with you?” You offer and he laughs quietly.

He smirks. “I’ll think about it,” His slightly hopeful tone makes you feel at ease.

Any true affection toward him still feels too foreign, but verbal reassurance is a step you’re willing to take if it means your shared future is relatively peaceful.

—

The trips back and forth to each other’s countries were becoming a blur of wedding planning, being present at each other’s public engagements, and trying to get to know each other. It was becoming such a tedious process that any opportunity to rest was taken without hesitation.

The big plan for the current trip to Arinorin was to have a joint dinner with both of your immediate families.

You waited endlessly, but Soonyoung never showed up for dinner. It was embarrassing trying to subtly figure out where he was by going to the bathroom and frantically texting him. When that didn’t work, calls went unanswered until you were forced to give up and return to the table in defeat. He wasn’t answering and you were left to deal with two confused families on your own, attempting to answer questions that you had no answers to. Dinner eventually proceeded with an unyielding amount of attention on you, but thankfully, the rest of his family seemed to accept you.

Yet, it was ultimately embarrassing to attempt to cover his tracks and defend his actions throughout the night.

Thus, your post-dinner plans were to relax in your room and attempt to forget how wild the night had been. A knock on the door interrupted those plans almost immediately.

You open the door to see one of the guards that have been assigned to you since the arranged marriage proceedings had begun.

“Sorry to bother you, princess. I’ve just received word of a disturbance with the prince downstairs that needs your attention.” His tone was especially solemn, so you didn’t want to leave him waiting for long.

“Alright, I’ll be ready in a minute.” You nod at him and thank your lucky stars that you’ve already changed into more comfortable clothing.

With his assistance, you were soon traveling through the endless halls of the castle to find your fiancé. It wasn’t long before he came into view, sitting on a bench with his legs tucked up to his chest, arms wrapped around the front with his hands clasped tight. He was clearly drunk, sighing to himself before looking up.

“Y/N! Hi!” He exclaims, waving at you wildly.

“Fucking hell,” You exhale under your breath. You’re extremely grateful that he wasn’t out wandering the streets, clearly under careful watch by his guards.

“Can you give us a moment?” You look around at the surrounding guards. They nod curtly and dismiss themselves, retreating to a nearby room where they could still intervene quickly if needed.

You turn your attention back to him once the door closes. “Where were you?”

“I was out with Seungkwannie and, um, Seokmin. It was so much fun,” He laughed brightly, eyes almost disappearing from his smile.

“We were supposed to have dinner with our families. Remember?” You hold onto your curt tone.

He shakes his head immediately. “They didn’t wanna see me, they don’t care about me.”

You were starting to lose your patience. While you understood his hesitation to face his family, it wasn’t an excuse to leave you to navigate so many different dynamics on your own. This was supposed to show your families all of the efforts that had been made thus far, and there were plenty of efforts that were beginning to show naturally.

He had become more affectionate in public, it was less uncomfortable to smile at him and speak with each other kindly. It wasn’t real, obviously not, but unsuspecting eyes wouldn’t have known any better.

You were almost visibly in love.

“How about how I feel, Soonyoung? I had to deal with everyone alone, deal with everything by myself. That was so hard for me, but you just ignored it and got drunk.” Your voice was tight, barely allowing yourself to feel anything besides anger.

“I’m sorry,” He sighs before running through his hair. He’s affected by it, as his posture starts to wilt like a dying plant.

“You should be. That hurt my feelings a lot,” You felt the intended venom of your words dissipate on your tongue until nothing was left.

What was the point in yelling when he wouldn’t remember any of it anyways?

Honestly, you were disappointed in him. You had earnestly tried to connect with him, and it finally felt like he was trying to do the same thing. Yet, he let you down. You didn’t ask for much of him and adjusted your expectations for him at every step of the way, but he couldn’t do it.

He couldn’t be better for you.

“Was being selfish,” His pout seems to get deeper somehow.

“Yeah, you were,” You whisper. You finally take a seat next to him on the bench, taking a deep breath. The silence between the two of you almost felt labored, as if the air held all of the emotions you were both feeling at once.

You shouldn’t be babysitting your fiancé like this, that much was true. If he couldn’t even attend a family dinner, what did that mean for the marriage?

“You don’t have to worry about the wedding. I’ll take care of everything,” You mutter quietly.

“What?” He sits up in surprise.

“I can’t trust you, Soonyoung. You don’t care about this and you clearly don’t care about me, so why would I let you plan any part of this?”

“I can try, just let me try,” He pleads quietly. You can feel the desperation in his tone, but you can’t budge.

“I’ve let you try and this is what happens. I don’t know if this is how you picture our marriage, but if this is it then consider us strangers. I can’t do this, not like this.” You can’t look at him as you stand up.

Your body goes into autopilot as you knock on the door where the guards are stationed, letting them out so you can both separate for the night. You gently request for him to be taken home before starting the journey back to your room, wiping away tears that welled up in your eyes without a second thought.

You hear him calling your name, but what point is there in turning around? You didn’t have the energy for drunk pleas and broken promises anymore.

If you couldn’t stop everything and everyone from falling apart, you could at least try to protect yourself from the wreckage.

—

For the first time, Soonyoung hadn’t been able to stop thinking about you.

It never felt good to be ignored by anyone, but getting ignored by you? It had to be a new kind of pain.

Despite his unbothered facade, he didn’t mind your company at all. He quite enjoyed your little quirks, small things that other people probably wouldn’t notice.

In the chaos of your intertwined schedules, there were moments where he’d just look at you to take in your features for himself, and not anyone else.

He loved seeing how peaceful you looked while you slept during flights or the way your cheeks lifted when you smiled. Since he couldn’t have you to himself often, he could hold solace in the smaller moments.

Admittedly, he had been in love with you for a while now, and he could pinpoint the exact moment when he realized it.

He mentioned to you offhandedly that he’d lost a beloved stuffed tiger toy as a kid, but he’d accepted the loss and attempted to move on. He didn’t think you’d remember the anecdote, much less do anything about it.

Yet, you handed him a silver gift bag while on a flight with him.

When he unwrapped the tissue paper to the sight of the exact make of the tiger he had, his heart momentarily stilled in awe.

“I found the original manufacturer and they still make them. The certain model you had is a collector’s item now, so it took a little while to find but it wasn’t impossible.” You explained everything calmly, your hand propped your head up on the armrest of your seat. You lazily smiled at him as he admired it in his hands.

“This is very kind of you, thank you,” He couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face.

His parents hadn’t thought of trying to replace it for him after all these years, and he surely didn’t expect it from you. The gesture is just so romantic, even if you just wanted to write it off as simply a nice thing to do.

He didn’t cry until he was alone after the day’s activities were finished, realizing just how important it was to him. You were so nice, much nicer than he deserved from his future wife given his standoffish behavior.

There was no reason why he couldn’t confess his true feelings to you at this point. The wedding was fast approaching, sooner than he’d like to admit.

Details about the ceremony were quickly ironed out between your shared staff before he could think twice about asking, and you held to your word that he wasn’t allowed to get involved in wedding planning.

He didn’t remember much from the night you found him drunk, but it was clear that wedding planning was off-limits and you were extremely wary of being alone with him. Thus, he had to make his apology meaningful, and he couldn’t wait until after the wedding. He was determined to mend the relationship before you walked down the aisle.

He started by sending you various bouquets, all carefully chosen by him.

That was a kind gesture, right?

He thought so until he saw you throwing one of the bouquets into a dumpster from afar.

All of his apologetic texts to you were swiftly ignored as well, forcing him to switch gears completely. It was clear that you were subtly hinting at an in-person apology, which was daunting but not impossible for him to do.

He hadn’t been back to your apartment since the night of the Youth Summit Ball, a major oversight on his part. Yet, he figured there was no better time than the present to start taking things more seriously.

He held the bouquet of white and red carnations tightly in his hand, fingers playing gently with the paper wrapping as he sat in his car.

He was optimistic that the rain would hold out until he was hopefully let into your apartment. Yet, he ignored the raindrops periodically hitting his raincoat as he walked up the stairs to your brownstone.

The moment he knocked on the door, it was as if the universe decided to fuck him over. The occasional raindrops turned into a full downpour, and he scrambled to figure out what to do with himself. There wasn’t any awning to hide under, so he attempted to conceal the flowers from the rain, unzipping his jacket enough to sit the damp bouquet on his chest before zipping it up again.

It felt like a lifetime before you opened the door, and the sight of you rendered him speechless.

This was the first time in so long that he was facing his fear of resolving the neverending conflicts in his life.

“Hi.” He smiles despite your unreadable expression.

“Hi,” You were confused, rightfully so. After passive-aggressively sending indirect apologies, he decided to skip everything else and just show up.

“Are you busy?”

“No, but I don’t think I have a choice,” You move to the side so that he can enter your apartment. He takes the cue and makes himself comfortable in the living room.

“These are for you.” He hands the flowers to you, and the hesitancy is clear on your face.

“You aren’t giving up on the flowers, are you?” You ask with a judgmental tone. He doesn’t feel completely deterred when you place them on the dining table instead of throwing them out.

“Well, these are your favorite.”

“This doesn’t bail you out, you know.” You give him a knowing look.

He sighs, steadying his breath before speaking. “I know, and you deserve an apology for everything.” When he notices that you're focusing intently on his words, he feels confident about continuing.

“I know that I’ve made you feel isolated, and I’m truly sorry for that. I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone in this, and I want to make this marriage work. You deserve to marry someone who’s willing to admit their mistakes and grow with you. I’m ready to be that person if you want me.” By the time he finishes, he knows that he was completely honest with you. He’s wanted to be upfront with you for so long, but it wouldn’t have been worth it if he didn’t express himself properly.

You let out a contemplative sigh. He could tell that you didn’t want to reject him, it’s as if your face was processing his statement just as swiftly as your brain.

“As much as I appreciate this, I don’t want to be in a loveless marriage.” You said.

He swallows lightly, but he’s still understanding of your perspective. He knew that he had to lay everything out for you before it was too late.

“Who said it was loveless?” He says.

“What?”

The revelation seems to catch you off guard, but it's not surprising to him. Soonyoung is a happy-go-lucky kind of guy, and this kind of confession feels completely out of his emotional range.

“I love you, and I should've told you sooner. I regret not proving that you could trust me, and you have every right to not have any faith in me.” He walks toward you, internally pleading that the lack of distance will help you change your mind.

“I do have the right,” You mutter under your breath with a chuckle. He lifts your chin slightly with his finger, forcing your eyes to meet his again.

“I will prove to you every day for the rest of my life that I love you.” His eyes are completely sincere, showing that he’s willing to provide the romance that you’ve been grasping for. He can tell that you can’t let him in this easily, he has to earn you completely.

“Every day?” You question him.

“Every single day,” He reiterates. He means it too, his mind was already thinking of dozens of ways that he could start making it up to you.

“That’s pretty tempting, honestly.” You tilt your head in curiosity.

“Anything holding you back?”

“I don’t think so. You just can’t keep coming into my apartment soaking wet anymore,” You scrunch your nose at his appearance and gently tousle his hair, earning a giggle from him.

“That wasn’t planned. It was pretty romantic though, right?” He can’t fight the smile that spreads across his face as he asks.

“A little bit. I forgive you, by the way,” You admit.

He exhales and runs a hand through his hair with shaky confidence. He couldn’t be certain of your decision, so the relief he feels at your words is palpable.

“Does that mean I get to see all the spreadsheets about the wedding now?” He knew he was testing his luck by asking, especially because the process had been under lock and key even before restricting his access to wedding-related documents.

“Yeah, it’ll take some stress off my back. It’s giving me headaches just thinking about everything coming together,” You rub your forehead and close your eyes for a moment before looking back at him.

“You’ve been stressed like this and you haven’t told me?” He frowns.

“I was mad at you, so all my other feelings just kept building up. I’m sorry,” You shake your head, immediately covering your face with your hands. He pries them off just as quickly, pressing a kiss to the palm of your hand.

“It’s okay, love. I am more than willing to help you, I promise,” He nods eagerly with a grin.

“Okay. I like that name, you know,” You finally crack a smile and his own smile widens.

“Figured you would.” He’s leaned closer to your face, but there’s enough space to move away in case you reject him. “Can I kiss you?” He asks gently.

“Please,” You whisper.

It’s all he needs to complete the distance between your lips and the feeling of you is almost overwhelmingly beautiful. He’s so lucky at this moment, feeling your hands push his head deeper into the kiss. He was too cautious last time, but now he’ll never take another kiss of yours for granted, not when it feels this good.

He would do anything to make sure you felt loved and cared for, no matter how long it took to earn your full trust.

—

“I just need a moment alone, if that’s alright?” The question comes out a bit shakier than you imagined, but you can’t seem to quiet your nerves. Your wedding day has already taken you on an emotional rollercoaster despite not going down the aisle yet.

As you view yourself in the gown that you meticulously picked out along with the detailed hair and makeup that took hours to complete, nothing looks out of place.

Yet, your heart feels unanchored.

Your relationship with Soonyoung was getting better every day, but it seems like it was all going a little too well. Even though your relationship was transforming from a state of emergency into a promising romance, it was all catching up to you at the moment. Your mutual efforts to improve your relationship had been fruitful, giving you both the confidence to get married without feeling insecure.

You wouldn’t regret it, right? You needed to be certain that you wouldn’t.

“Of course, Princess.” Your head staff member agrees without question before exiting the room along with a few team members who were assisting you for the past few hours.

Your brain can only think of him. The tradition of spending the night before the wedding apart from each other felt more like torture than anything else, as you’ve come to appreciate his comforting presence next to you. In the last few weeks leading up to the wedding, he’s made such a genuine effort to intertwine your lives together that spending time apart felt futile.

A knock on the door breaks you out of your trance. Before you can ask who’s there, Soonyoung’s voice fills the silence.

“Is it a bad time?” His voice makes your heart flutter before you can even look at him.

“You can’t see me before the wedding, it’s bad luck,” You attempt to fight the smile on your face but you don’t allow yourself to look at him.

“Even if my bride has cold feet?” He presses on, his footsteps quietly approaching you.

You turn to reveal yourself to him and his face lights up.

“They’re not cold, they’re lukewarm,” You smile coyly at him. He grabs your hands and scans your body with wondrous eyes, his gaze seeming to land on every detail of the dress before meeting your eyes again.

“You look so,” His voice trails off. You’re sure that you can read his mind, he’s practically grinning from ear to ear. It makes you feel a bit shy, you can feel your cheeks heat up from his complimentary words.

“You’re really inflating my ego here,” You shake your head gently, but the feeling of his hand grazing your cheek pulls your gaze to him. Despite your best efforts, it’s still hard to fight the inner voice that tells you that he doesn’t mean it, that he’s only saying it because it’s something you want to hear.

Yet, his responses are just unflinchingly earnest that it makes you wonder why you ever felt that way in the first place.

“You just look so stunning,” His voice begins to shake before he clears his throat, “I just can’t believe that you’re mine.”

You were certain that you’d never seen that much sincerity in his eyes up until now, but it started to quiet the lingering fears that still sat in the pit of your stomach. He was absolutely smitten with you, to the point where his smile didn’t go away while you were talking to him.

“You can’t cry yet, you have to save it for the cameras.” You chuckle in an effort to push away his tears, but his eyes were still glossy.

“I can’t help it. You’ve worked really hard on all of this and it’s coming together so well,” He sighs with content. Honestly, you needed to hear that it was all worth it, especially from him. Although he’d been offering reassurance more often than not, the sentiment felt different knowing that you were minutes away from getting married.

“I wanna kiss you so badly, but I can’t fuck up my makeup.” You pout. He instinctively places his hands on your shoulders, moving them up and down to make you feel grounded with his touch.

“We can kiss, you know. There are no rules to any of this.” He attempts to get you out of your tradition-focused mindset with a low tone. You do want to indulge him though, considering that this was the first time you'd been alone with him all morning.

“Just go below the mouth.” You nod and he smirks, immediately placing his lips on your jaw to see how you’d react. It pulls a soft moan from your throat, and your reaction encourages him to go down your neck, leaving kisses wherever his lips can find skin. You started to let go of the responsibilities lingering over your head and focus on your fiance’s tongue leaving open-mouth kisses on your cleavage.

He’s practically doing everything but undressing you and his eagerness makes it harder to pull away, but you have to.

“Babe,” You whisper.

“Hmm?”

“Later,” You have to hold onto your resolve or else you’ll give in, and you can’t let your first time be in a dressing room.

“Later?” His eyes perk up like an excited puppy. The implication of the consummation of your marriage feels daring, it will serve as the reward after dealing with the decadent fanfare of the day.

“Yes, later. I promise.” You nod and he somehow looks even happier than before he walked in. He focuses on your lips but leaves a kiss on your cheek instead.

“I’ll see you out there, okay?” He presses one last kiss to your palm before heading towards the door.

“Okay,” You wave him off and watch him disappear with a smile on your face.

It’s clear that you don’t have anything to worry about.

—

“You’re sure that you don’t wanna come in with me?” Soonyoung calls from the pool.

“Yeah,” You nod with a hand placed above your eyes, acting as a sun visor since you couldn’t find a hat to put on.

You were two days into your honeymoon, tucked away at a small island resort that mostly isolated you from the outside world.

The wedding had thankfully gone far better than you could have imagined. He stopped you multiple times throughout the reception to tell you how beautiful it was, how happy he was to be in the moment with you, and how well you planned it all. It was a day that felt sun-soaked, enveloped in a love that was starting to soften and lose the sharp edges that had restrained it before.

Despite all of the kind attention from family and friends throughout the day, it was evened out with the constant presence of staff and castle officials that made it all a bit overwhelming.

Thankfully, the honeymoon began the next day and you’d have to force all responsibilities out of your head for the next week.

“You’re thinking about something, probably too many things,” He assumes correctly.

You scoff and turn away for a moment before facing him again. “You can’t be this good at analyzing me, we’ve only been married for less than a week.”

He laughs before swimming closer to the edge of the pool to meet you. “That’s my job, angel.”

“But you’re right, I am thinking too much about you moving in and all the press stuff we have to do,” You’re rubbing at your temples just thinking about how much effort it’s all going to take.

“Hey, look at me.” He calls out softly. You reluctantly place your hands at your sides, trying to take in his words.

“You’ll have plenty of time to worry about this, but this is the only time you’ll be on your honeymoon. Hopefully,” He shows his teeth and it succeeds in making you laugh. He smiles back at you before continuing.

“So maybe we can swim together if you’d like?” He tries again, knowing you’ll say yes. You take one last sigh and nod.

“Yeah, just give me a second.” You take your coverup off to reveal a solid black bikini he hadn’t seen yet. You discard the coverup on a nearby chair before turning to face him.

He eyes you for a moment before you clear your throat. “Slow down, loverboy, we’re supposed to be swimming!”

“Just admiring how beautiful my wife is, that’s all,” He bites back a smile but ultimately lets it show. You walk down the pool stairs until you’re swimming next to him. He only stares at you for a second before pulling you in for a kiss.

You’re caught off guard, letting out a small squeak when his tongue slides into your mouth but you give in to the feeling soon enough. You let your fingers card through the back of his hair, pushing yourself further into the kiss. You feel his hands wander across your ass and you let out a moan.

“Just wanted me in here so you could fuck me?” You whisper, finally pulling away from the kiss to catch your breath.

“You caught me,” He whispers back and proceeds to kiss down your neck, not hesitating to leave marks that force moans out of your throat.

“For fuck’s sake,” You sigh. You didn’t need to have control right now, you didn’t want it when he was making you feel this good just by kissing you. You thank your lucky stars that the vacation house is somewhat isolated because you can’t pretend to hold back the noises you’re making.

He picks up on this and presses his erection against your thigh, causing you to hold your breath. “Where do you want me, sweetheart?” He asks quietly. Your train of thought can’t even start because he’s staring right at you, brushing his thumb against your lip.

“Chairs,” You mutter. He bites his lip and turns to look at the unoccupied beach chairs lined up near the sliding glass door that leads back into the house.

“Okay,” He nods. He leads you back to the pool stairs before taking your hand and helping you out of the water. You both don’t think about drying off before he sits you down onto the chair, pulling off your bikini bottom without a second thought. You watch him with spread legs, taking in the sight of his glistening chest and abs. He seemed just as eager as you, taking off his swim trunks in the blink of an eye. The sight of his cock makes your head spin, so you force yourself to make eye contact with him.

“Are you okay, baby?” He asks earnestly. He must not know how hot he is because you’re rendered speechless. His freshly dyed black hair is slightly spiky, and it doesn’t help when he runs his hand through it. It all just goes to your clit, and you’re certain that the pressure will make you explode.

“Yeah, I’m good,” You force your mouth into a smile to replace the incredulous look on your face. He nods and settles into the space between your legs, quickly spreading hands across your thighs.

“Have I told you how pretty you look today?” His eyes are practically dripping with lust, but you want to let him know that the feeling is mutual.

“Yeah, maybe for the 100th time today, but you look even prettier,” Your compliment comes out a bit shy, but it still makes his eyes light up.

“I don’t think that’s possible,” He lets his thumb graze your clit and you whimper. He lingers there for a few more moments before dragging two fingers down your entrance. He ponders for a moment before pushing inside, and the new sensation makes you cry out. The angled position of the chair makes his movements feel even more powerful, and his fingers gliding against your tight walls already have you in shambles.

“It’s not possible because you’re the prettiest person in the world, and I get all your cute noises to myself, right?” His question makes the coil in your stomach harder to ignore.

“Yeah,” You moan. He leans in for a kiss, capturing your lips easily while thrusting his fingers even deeper. How does he know your body like this? Sure, you’ve made out a few times but he's never touched you like this before.

Maybe it’s the anticipation that’s causing him to show out like this, he’s trying to impress you because of how long you’ve had to wait for this. You let your arms drape behind his neck for a moment before clutching onto his back.

You hear him moan from the scratches you leave on the expanse of his back, you savor the noises as they start to blend in with your moans.

“Gonna cum,” You breathe into his ear. He can tell how tense you are around him, and your eyes are becoming frantic from the impending pleasure.

“Just relax baby, take a deep breath, and let go for me. I know you can do it,” His encouragement lets you cum immediately, arching your back off the chair with a soft grunt escaping your lips. Your orgasm washes over you all at once and his fingers only slow down a bit, allowing you to feel every single bit of pleasure that he could pull out of you.

You take a few deep breaths and focus on his eyes once again. You start to register his face again as he strokes your cheek. “Are you ok? Are you up for more?” He asks hesitantly.

“Yeah, I just didn’t think you’d get me like this so early, that’s all.” You cover your eyes with your hands for a moment before looking at him again. He has you so shy that you can barely look at him. It’s hard to admit to yourself that you haven’t cum like that in a very long time, but if he’s making you feel like this so early on into the marriage, you don’t think you’ll ever be disappointed.

“Well, that’s good. I just wanna take care of you,” He reassures you sweetly. His eyes are so full of love that it makes your heart pound, swallowing in anticipation.

He meant it when he said he’d take care of you, he had barely let you do anything for yourself since you arrived at the vacation house. It was so adorable that you didn’t have the heart to stop him. It was nice to let him live up to his promise of showing his love for you instead of constantly feeling distrustful of his actions.

Of course, there would eventually be moments where you’d disagree or argue with each other, but it wouldn’t be out of spite like before. You’re lost in thought until he presses a kiss to your cheek.

“Where’d you go, pretty?” He whispers, his face now a few inches away from yours. It somehow makes you even more flustered than before.

“Just thinking about how much I love you,” You admit with a smile. His eyes widen at the confession and you burst into a fit of giggles.

“You love me?” He asks in surprise.

“I love you.” You state it confidently. You mean it too, and it feels so easy to express it to him. You knew you loved him since the wedding, he cried at the sight of you walking down the aisle and it helped you realize his sincerity. He seems to let the words settle into the air before giving you a response.

“I love you too. It feels good to say that,” He laughs at his own confession. With a mutual confession out in the open, the air somehow feels lighter.

“Can I show you how much I love you by fucking you properly?” He asks. You can only laugh and nod your head at how sweet it is.

“Not out here though. I need you in bed right now!” He exclaims, sweeping you up into a bridal style hold. You let out a scream before bursting into laughter, you can only let yourself get carried back into the house without protest.

----

“Fuck, right there, please,” You whimper, eyes screwed shut. The feeling of his cock stuffed inside you was indescribably good, it was nearly enough to make you cry. Once he got you on the bed, he wasted no time filling you up and easily pulled moans out of your throat.

He pressed your legs up to your chest, making sure that he was completely inside of you. You quickly learned that your husband had incredible stamina, and you were definitely gonna cum again sooner rather than later.

“You’re so good for me, my love. You don’t know how many times I’ve thought of having you like this,” He whispers in your ear. The sound of his balls slapping against your skin brought something primal out of you, you just want to suck him inside of your walls even deeper. You were barely holding on, but he kept pushing you even closer to the edge.

He leaned down to leave marks in the crook of your neck, leaving a hand free to fondle your breast. It was as if he combined every possible move just to drive you insane and it was working.

“Gonna cum for me, sweetheart?” His voice is laced with something even deeper than lust, it almost felt demonic the way he asked you.

“Yes, please let me cum, please,” The words spilled out of your mouth, your voice was shaking along with your body. He was practically rocking you back and forth with the impact of his cock, hitting that particular spot deeper every time.

“Go on, then. Cum for daddy,” He grants you permission. The nickname makes you flood his cock, screaming again as your orgasm takes over you. He pulls out in time for you to squirt on his cock, leaving you even more surprised than before.

“Holy shit,” You whimper. He looks so pleased with himself, but also shocked that he was able to push you that far.

He lets you both recover for a few minutes, but you know he hasn’t cum yet. “I’m kinda close, baby, is it alright if I-?” He asks, but you don’t let him finish.

“Of course. I already miss your cock, to be honest,” You let yourself smile and his eyes are already blown wide by your response.

“You’re insane, you know that?”

“You made me like this,” You hit his arm playfully. He slides his cock into you again slowly and he watches your mouth fall open slightly at the sensation.

“I did,” He smirks at you, relishing the sight of how fucked out you look just from him staying still.

He picks up the pace, trying to focus on getting himself there. It didn’t seem like it’d take much just from how intensely he looked at you.

“Gonna let me cum inside you, baby? Should I get you pregnant like this?” His questions felt sinful in your ears, but you were too gone to care. You felt pressure building just from that, and the thought of him breeding you felt exciting.

“Yes, please, I want it,” You whine. He felt so deep that you could feel it from your head to your toes. Every single part of you felt overwhelmed by his cock and his relentless pace.

“Good girl, daddy wants to fuck you like this all the time,” He moves to kiss you sloppily, but it still feels heavenly to have him in your mouth. It wasn’t much longer before you felt his body tense beneath you.

“Are you close?” You ask breathily.

“Yeah,” He grunts. He grabs your hips and fucks into you even harder than you remember, the pain radiating from your thighs forces a tear out of your eye but you know it’s helping. He doesn’t warn you before he cums, and the sudden warmth inside of you makes you moan louder than you expect. He finally falls beside you and lets you both recover for a few minutes in silence. You could easily fall asleep like this, both of you laying haphazardly under the covers while his breathing steadies your own.

“Y/N?” He calls your name and it startles you. You struggle to keep your eyes open at the sound of his voice.

“Oh no, I scared you,” His voice is much quieter than before, lulling you back into a state of calmness.

“No, I’m okay, I promise,” You turn to face him, rubbing your eyes gently.

“Ok good. We’ve gotta clean up now, alright?” He softens the blow of the question by kissing your forehead. It still feels foreign to let him take care of you, but when you see how gentle he is, you don’t feel the urge to take control.

It’s enough to watch him go through your suitcase, observing how his eyebrows furrow while trying to decide what shirt you might want to wear.

You decided that he didn’t have to prove anything else to you, ultimately, you could see how pure his heart was, and it would be doing both of you a disservice to let assumptions of character control the course of your relationship.

You’re attentive enough to follow his cues while he’s dressing you or helping you up to the bathroom, but your mind is consumed by him.

“Doing okay, love?” His question pulls your head toward him. You adjust your posture in bed as he approaches you, climbing into the bed beside you.

“Better now that you’re back,” You hum lowly, leaning your head onto his shoulder. You take a deep breath, taking in the feeling of his skin against yours.

His body vibrates as he chuckles. “I’m glad you’re alright. I was thinking about something while we were in the bathroom,” He leans into your touch slightly, enough to make your eyes flutter shut.

“What’s up?” You accept his inquiry.

“I think we should take the kids here one day when they’re old enough,” He explains it as if it’s fate, and you can’t help but smile at the thought of him being certain that your shared future is meant to expand in so many different ways. You can’t picture yourself being pregnant for a long while, but the idea of building a family with him feels right to think about.

“We’ve fucked once and you’re thinking about our kids,” You tease him in a lighthearted tone, but you hear his nervous laughter.

“It’s just a thought,” He waves his hand gently.

“It’s a very nice thought, you’re really sweet,” You finally raise your head to look at him. You let your hand caress his cheek before kissing him gently. He accepts you immediately, and you let yourself linger on his lips for a few moments before pulling away to look at him.

He searches your eyes, focused on figuring out what you’re meant to tell him. You can’t think of anything profound to tell him, any extravagant sentimentalities you might’ve conjured up don’t make their way out onto your lips.

“I love you,” You whisper. Your feelings are buried too deep to let them all out now, but it’s enough to tell him this. You feel the pressure in your chest lessen the moment he smiles back at you.

“I love you so much,” He mumbles the words against your lips before kissing you, love seemed to radiate from his lips the way he was holding you against him. The day unfolded into the evening, time passing languidly as you were enamored with each other.

As you fell asleep with him holding onto your waist, you realized that sweetness had made its way into your life before your very eyes. The limitless potential between the two of you no longer strikes fear into your heart, but instead sustains you in new ways.

There would be time to flesh out the dynamics of your relationship, determining how you’d show up for each other in loud and unspoken ways, but the present feeling of safety that sat in your chest was enough.

Neither of you was perfect, but the act of showing up and being willing to grow with each other was enough.

You are both trying, and that is more than enough.

nothing a little camaraderie can't fix ❊ yoon jeonghan

❋ plot: you've always hated jeonghan, and jeonghan has always hated you. however, matters of the heart take time, and maybe that slytherin you've sworn to detest forever isn't really as bad as you'd originally thought.

❋ pairing: jeonghan x f!reader

❋ words: 14.1k

❋ genre: fluff, angst, humor (i tried) // slytherin!jeonghan, ravenclaw!reader, hogwarts au, enemies to lovers au, i guess it's also rivals to lovers in a way, junwoo as best buddies <33, this got kinda long it really was not supposed to be this long oops, also i highkey love joshua in this one, i almost put a love triangle in this and then i chose to let it be

❋ warnings: swearing & name calling, they're mean, quidditch-related violence

❋ notes: first svt fic! hello caratblr aaaa pls reblog/leave feedback it would mean the world to me 💫 (i wrote this over a few days while procrastinating on hw so its unedited and badly written sorry in advance xx)

back to masterlist

Junhui is trying very hard not to accidentally butcher your Potions partner assignment and get you both Dreadfuls for the concoction, but at the rate he’s going, you might as well give up on your Acceptable aspirations.

“You had one job,” you tell your best friend, setting your knife down for a break. Whatever’s in your cauldron bubbles consistently, a garish blue color that it definitely shouldn’t be if Yook Sungjae’s cauldron next to you is any indication. “All I ask for today is an A, Jun. Just an A. Please.”

“I’m not doing anything!” the boy yells back at you, pointing at the mixture frantically. “We followed all the instructions, you watched me put everything in!”

“I literally haven’t touched anything until now! I only just started cutting these up!”

“Maybe you’re doing it wrong!”

Your potion makes a strange popping noise in the silence that follows, and you sigh, rubbing your temple. “Merlin, we are a mess.”

There’s nothing more you can really do, since Professor Slughorn is busy handling a near-disaster on the other side of the classroom, so you return to slicing the dandelion roots, at just the right angle and width as you were instructed. You’re just about done with the last one, ready to sweep them all into the cauldron and hope for the best, when a hand reaches out and plucks one off the table.

“Hey!”

“Too thick,” a familiar voice drawls. You lift your eyes to meet a pair you’ve grown to harbor a deep hatred for over the years. “Are you sure you were paying attention last class, L/N? Or did the Hat make a mistake putting you in Ravenclaw?”

“Very rude of you,” Jun remarks calmly from his spot. You’ve known him long enough to understand that behind the tranquil demeanor, he’s definitely as irritated as you are. “Kindly take your flat ass back to your seat and apply your ludicrous, crack-brained academic principles to yourself.”

Yoon Jeonghan, for all of his smug glory of several seconds prior, looks taken aback for a moment.

“What he said,” you add, just to reaffirm, enjoying the moment of confusion on his face. It’s gone soon enough though, replaced by that easy, sure-of-himself smile that’s always playing on his lips.

“My ass is most definitely not flat.”

You throw your hands up in the air. “Jun insulted you in several different ways, and that’s what you choose to focus on?”

“Can’t have my reputation tarnished, can I?” Jeonghan drops the root back into your pile. “In any case, good luck getting anything above a Troll on this potion. So much for wisdom and intelligence and all that.”

“You are a total dickhead,” Jun says solemnly.

“I’ll have you know I’m in the top of our year in several subjects,” you fume back at Jeonghan, “Transfiguration included, which I know you suck at because you accidentally turned Xu Minghao into a frog once instead of a turtle. Amphibians and reptiles are very different.”

“That was two years ago,” he responds coolly, shaking his head to get his hair out of his face. “I don’t repeat mistakes. And I certainly outdo myself every single time.”

“And the sky is bright yellow with polka dots, and pigs can fly.”

“Well, they can, if we assist a little bit —”

“Yoon Jeonghan, get out of here before I send you flying through the door,” you spit. “My wand is in my pocket, and Slughorn’s back is turned. I’m not afraid to use it.”

“You know I’d never turn down an opportunity to duel,” he says (you do know, especially after he and Jun nearly faced off in the Great Hall at breakfast during your second year), his eyes flickering around the classroom, “but I don’t think you would enjoy it too much if I made a fool out of you in front of our class, would you?”

“I don’t think you could,” you say delicately, reaching over him to push the sliced roots into the cauldron.

“Is that a challenge, L/N?”

You sprinkle a bit of pearl dust into the concoction, along with a scoop of powdered horseradish and several rose petals, right when Jun catches on and reaches over with the bottle of neem oil to splash a bit in. As the newly added ingredients boil and dissolve, the consistency and color of your potion seem to return to normal, a pale translucent shade rather than the dark blue it was earlier.

A smug smile dances on your face as you look up triumphantly. “I think I’d win, don’t you?”

“Well,” Jeonghan says, folding his arms. “I’ll say I’m impressed. Didn’t think you had it in you, considering how the both of you struggle in this class each day.”

“We’re self-sufficient and can fix our own problems when we have them. As any good Ravenclaw would,” you emphasize the last phrase in response to the insult he threw your way earlier.

“‘Any good Ravenclaw’ might not find themselves in this position in the first place.”

“Shouldn’t you go to your partner and actually be useful for once instead of getting on our nerves?”

Jeonghan glances back at his table. His partner for the project, a pretty Hufflepuff third-year you’ve seen around the castle, is busy corking a vial of their potion, ready to turn it in at the end of class.

“Already been done. You’re just behind.”

Jun casually flips him off, eyes still on the open textbook propped against several containers. You wonder whether those two would have already killed each other by now if you weren’t around to stop things from escalating in either direction.

“Piss off, Yoon.”

“Mouthing off, now, are we?”

Slughorn rounds the corner before you can let a string of curses leave your mouth, pleasantly surprised by whatever you and Jun have brewed up.

“Positively wonderful, my dear! Look at this beautiful color, the consistency — oh! I expected nothing less from you both. Take fifteen points, each! Simply brilliant, you are…”

Jeonghan raises an eyebrow when your moment of glory is over and you reach for a vial to turn in a small sample. “Ravenclaw racking up points in the classroom as usual, eh?”

“Piss off,” Jun echoes your last words, cleaning up the supplies strewn across the table with a wave of his wand. “If you’re so salty about the point gap, try closing it on the field and then we’ll talk.”

You almost laugh, almost — Jun has definitely struck a nerve by the way Jeonghan’s jaw tenses, nostrils flaring. The fact that Slytherin has lost every game so far, save for the very first one against Hufflepuff, is a sore spot for the whole house, and the obvious disparity in points is displayed in the Great Hall, the hourglass of emeralds far lower than the others.

When Jun walks away to the front of the class, you’re left there facing Jeonghan.

“So,” you smirk, packing up your things. “Good luck on the pitch, then. Though with our lineup, I’m not sure what else you can do to save the game.”

“Awfully confident, are you?”

“Of course,” you answer proudly. “With players like Jun and Hyunjin, we’ll sweep Slytherin in no time.” 

He chuckles. “Your unwavering faith in everyone around you is pretty entertaining, I have to admit.”

That provokes you, causing anger to flare deep in your chest. You grip your bag so tight your knuckles hurt, slinging it over your shoulder.

“Well, I won’t entertain you any longer, Yoon. I’m out of here. Have fun preparing for your team to eat shit tomorrow.”

Jeonghan smiles slyly, turning to leave as well. “We’ll see,” he says cryptically. “May the best team win, L/N. But don’t forget that I always have a trick or two up my sleeve.”

Actually, if there is only one thing you remotely like that has to do with Yoon Jeonghan, it’s his best friend Joshua.

You’re not even sure how those two get along, but Joshua’s company is well and good enough for you — the Hufflepuff prefect is the opposite of his friend, kind and funny and everything wonderful. He’s also the perfect person for you to vent about your frustrations, most of which end up being about Jeonghan anyways. 

On days like today when all of your other friends are busy, you often accompany him on his evening rounds, doing a full lap of the castle while talking about your lives.

“I hear Slytherin and Ravenclaw are facing off this weekend,” Joshua says carefully. He’s trying to hide a smile, you know — after several years of friendship, he isn’t hard to read.

“Yes, that bastard you call a friend made sure to remind me,” you roll your eyes. “He decided to be particularly insufferable during Potions today, if you haven’t heard.”

“I have.”

“Wonderful.” You fold your arms, sighing. “I don’t get it. How can you even stand him?”

Joshua chuckles, pulling open the doors of a small cupboard to make sure no one’s inside.

“He’s my best friend, Y/N. As difficult as it is for you to believe, he is a good person at heart, and I voluntarily choose to put myself in his company every day.”

“I don’t believe it, but sure.”

“I’m serious! Have I told you —”

“Yes, you have,” you tell him. Countless times has Joshua recounted the story of how they all first became friends; he, Jeonghan, and Gryffindor’s own Choi Seungcheol. Countless times have you laughed it off, unable to reconcile his version of Jeonghan with yours, and you won’t start believing it today. 

“Then believe me when I say he’s a good friend, and he’s far better than he usually lets on.”

“You aren’t going to change my mind, Josh.”

“That’s not to say he isn’t a complete asshole,” he admits. “Because he can be, and usually is, a pain in the neck. But that’s just how he generally likes to present himself.”

“I still hate him.” You finger the end of your loosened tie absentmindedly as you two round another corner. “Jun hates him too. And — well, Wonwoo is outwardly neutral, but he probably doesn’t like him either.”

“Maybe it’s just a Ravenclaw thing,” Joshua jokes. “Y’know, eagles and snakes and all that — Oh?” He stops short, lips lifting into a smile as he looks ahead of him. “What are you lot doing here?”

You stop, too, but you scowl instead. Jeonghan raises his hand in greeting, walking towards his friend and ignoring you at first.

“Oh, just taking a walk after homework, I needed some air. The usual.” His eyes flicker to you and back. “Interesting company you’ve chosen tonight, ‘Shua.”

“Y/N comes with me most days,” he replies. “You just never remember it, do you?”

“No,” Jeonghan looks at you again, amused, “I don’t.”

Choi Seungcheol smiles at you warmly from beside him, a sharp contrast to the Slytherin towering over you. “Hey, Y/N. Nice to see Josh isn’t going about doing these alone, I’d imagine he needs someone to stop him from making any dumb choices —”

“Any stupid decisions I make are always heavily influenced by either or both of you idiots.”

“That isn’t true!”

“Cheol, I don’t want to hear anything about reckless decision-making from a Gryffindor, of all wizards. Merlin’s sake.”

You watch them bicker with a fond smile, tugging on Joshua’s sleeve when they escalate into loud yelling.

“Alright, that’s enough, you guys are going to make the portraits mad with all this ruckus, and Josh has to finish his rounds in time to head back to the basement.”

Seungcheol grins cheekily, red and gold robes swishing around his tall frame as he moves away. “See, I told you that you need her around. Pity you weren’t made prefect, Y/N, I reckon you’d be an awfully good one at that.”

“This is all your fault, Cheol,” Joshua says, but he’s patting his friends on the back amiably anyways, beaming. “We’ll get going then — unless you want to get back to Ravenclaw Tower now, Y/N —”

“No, I’m good,” you cut him off, hyper-aware of Jeonghan’s eyes boring into your back and eager to leave. “Let’s just go, yeah?”

The two of you hurry away before you’re sidetracked any more by his friends. Seungcheol gives you a friendly wave as you leave, and Jeonghan sends you off with a knowing smirk, the one that always puts you at unease, the one that you know means that he knows far more than you’d think. You don’t like it one bit.

“Seungcheol is quite nice,” you say, in an attempt to forget all the murderous thoughts you have about a certain Slytherin boy.

“Yes, he is,” Joshua agrees. “My friends are quite nice. Not that you would agree, though.”

“Yeah, I hate him,” you nod. “Yoon fucking Jeonghan, asshole extraordinaire.”

“Stunningly accurate.”

“The absolute worst, most infuriating person I’ve met in my life so far.”

Joshua winces lightly at this. “C’mon, won’t you cut him some slack? We’re sixteen, we do dumb things every day. He’s no exception.”

“He’s been making my life a living hell ever since we stepped off those boats and into the castle,” you grumble, remembering the way Jeonghan’s relentless teasing had begun the moment you met him, right before your Sorting ceremony four years ago. “There isn’t an excuse at this point.”

“All right, all right,” he says, giving up on ever getting you and his friend to see eye to eye. It won’t ever happen anyways, not with the way you speak about him during these evening rounds and the way Jeonghan talks about you like you’re the most irritating thing on this planet. Some people will never get along; maybe you two are an example of that. “Hate him all you want, Y/N, have at it. I won’t stop you.”

You smile gently. “Thanks,” you tell him as you approach the hallway that leads straight up to Ravenclaw Tower off the left side. “You okay to head down on your own?”

Joshua rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “I’ll make it to my common room alive, Y/N, don’t worry.”

“By the way, will you be at the game tomorrow?”

“Of course! My friends never miss mine, and I never miss theirs.”

You narrow your eyes. “You better be wearing blue and bronze when I spot you, Hong.”

“No promises, I’m afraid. My loyalty lies in all four houses all the time, anyways.” Joshua smiles. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

“Don’t disappoint,” you tease lightly. “I’ll see you at breakfast, then. Good night!”

“‘Night, silly.”

“... I really meant what I said about the colors, Josh!”

“Yes, yes, I’m highly aware that you’d hex me if I show up in any colors but yours, Your Highness —”

“You’re not funny.”

“Would you like me to Transfigure my hat into a raven and bring it to the match instead?”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I’ll do it right now —”

“Joshua!”

Jeonghan’s eyes narrow at you as you enter the Great Hall, your friends Junhui and Wonwoo by your side. You’re very clearly tired, hair a mess and uniform off-kilter, and he has to stop himself from chortling at your obvious plight.

“What’re you laughing at?” Lee Jihoon asks his fellow Beater, grabbing another orange scone. “You’re never in a good mood this early in the morning.”

“Nothing.”

“You forget how transparent you are sometimes,” the Slytherin says dryly, following his gaze. “Is it that Ravenclaw girl again? The one you love to torture endlessly?”

“You know about that?”

“Everyone knows. There’s a reason Professor Greene never lets you two duel each other in DADA, you know. Can’t have a murder on school grounds.”

Jeonghan chuckles. “Only a little bit of fun, Jihoon. Getting a rise out of her has always been amusing.”

“Amusing until she decimates you with her wand,” the younger says casually. “She’s awfully good with hexes. I wouldn’t get on her bad side.”

Interesting. Jeonghan watches you flit around the Ravenclaw table, talking to your friends, laughing. An enigma since the first day he spoke to you. He wonders what stopped the Hat from sorting you into Hufflepuff, a hard worker at heart and loyal nearly to a fault.

“Anyways, we should get going.” Jihoon’s voice tugs him out of his head, bringing him back to reality. “Win or lose, we better be ready to play this match to death, I reckon.”

Yeah, and especially after the quarrel he had with you during Potions just a day prior, Jeonghan won’t know what to do with himself if his House loses yet again. He just decides that they’ll have to win, there’s no other way out, and he’ll do his part by sending off as many Bludgers as he can.

He follows Jihoon out of the Great Hall, only sparing you a side glance as you wave Junhui off with a smile, and tugs on his friend’s sleeve right when they enter the side shed, where the locker rooms and broomsticks are located. “Hey, listen. I have a plan.”

Jihoon pauses. “Is it legal?”

Jeonghan smirks. “This time… technically, yes.”

“Should I believe that, or?”

“Do you want to win or not?”

Jihoon sighs in defeat, smiling. “Go ahead, mate. I’m all ears.”

“Slytherin in possession of the Quaffle again! Garcia takes it to the middle of the pitch, weaving between the Ravenclaw players, she’s nearing the hoops — oh, no, never mind, Quaffle with Ravenclaw now, Wen taking it back with him. Blimey, that was so fast, I didn’t even see it!”

You and Wonwoo cheer from the stands, watching intently as Jun speeds to the other side of the pitch after a clever play and a few swift movements. Joshua stands with the three of you, donning one of his friend’s Slytherin scarves and having charmed his robes blue and bronze for the occasion. Seungcheol beside him, however, never bothered to change from his usual school attire.

“You stick out like a sore thumb,” you had told him earlier.

“Overslept,” he had said sheepishly. “Didn’t even make it to breakfast before Josh dragged me out.”

The commentary continues, an energetic seventh year Hufflepuff at the mic watching Jun dodge swipes and dart skillfully between converging players.

“Merlin, he’s quick. Careful there, mate! He’s got Yoon tailing him from the left, several Chasers blocking his right, c’mon now — Ooh! Yikes, that didn’t look too good…”

You gasp as Jun rolls over sharply, avoiding a Bludger sent his way by none other than Jeonghan.

“He could’ve fallen off,” you say angrily. “That’s way too close of a distance to hit someone!”

“He’s fine, look,” Wonwoo tries calming you down, pointing at the pitch. Jun dives slightly to dodge yet another one of Jeonghan’s Bludgers and makes a quick pass to a teammate, unable to get past the blockade of Slytherin Chasers. “He won’t fall.”

The game lasts quite a while, far longer than you had expected the opponent would be able to hold out. Your Seeker, a newly recruited third year called Vernon, hasn’t been able to find the Snitch yet: you’ve seen him speed towards something fluttering in the distance before stopping short when it suddenly disappears from sight.

Over time, however, it’s become clearly evident to you what a large part of the Slytherin strategy is. Every time Jun has a close call — which is frequent, too frequent to be a coincidence — you notice a similar pattern; one Slytherin Beater tails him and the other swings the nearest Bludger to his teammate, who sends it flying straight at your best friend. And it’s always, always handled by Jeonghan.

Thankfully, up until now, Jun has managed to get out of the way before getting hit, or one of your Beaters smacks it away for him, but your anxiety rises significantly with every attack.

“They’re targeting him,” you tell your friends. “It’s so obvious. They know that he’s the best Chaser we have, and that he almost always has the Quaffle — look, again! They aren’t even going after Vernon! Does that make any sense at all?”

“No,” Joshua admits. Both teams are evenly matched for points; if Vernon catches the Snitch, it’s game over for Slytherin, but the Beaters aren’t trying to deter him in any way. “I mean, whatever the hell Jeonghan’s trying to do, at least it’s not against the rules this time.”

You shoot him a dirty look.

“What? I’m just saying,” he defends. “He hasn’t tried to knock Jun off his broom while he’s not in possession. I’m pretty sure the rules say that if the Chaser’s got the Quaffle in hand, the Beaters can go to town.”

But you know better than that. You know that it isn’t just a ploy to win, but a revenge scheme, confirmed when Jeonghan manages to find you in the crowd after a particularly obnoxious play and gives you that mischievous smirk. Payback for Jun’s comments the other day, that’s what this is about.

You should have known. Jeonghan hates losing, but more than that, he hates losing to you. A defeat by Gryffindor, he can take — but not your house. Not anything that has to do with you, he’s made that clear over the five years you’ve been classmates.

“And that’s another goal for Ravenclaw! Ten up now, thanks to Hwang rushing in for the play, and now — oh dear, looks like they’ve spotted the Snitch! Will they be able to catch it, or is it a false alarm yet again?”

Murmurs ripple throughout the crowd; everyone watches with bated breath as Vernon and the Slytherin Seeker lock eyes and dive at the same time, racing towards a nearly invisible flicker of gold with arms outstretched. Above them, the game continues; Hyunjin makes a desperate pass after being nearly shoved off, Jun catches it and is about to do a sharp left turn towards the right hoop —

“Oh, hell no,” Wonwoo whispers.

The four of you watch in horror as Jun fails to look out for his right side this time, and the Bludger hits him just at the top of his shoulder, the side of his face taking the brunt of it immediately after. The force pushes him clean off his broom, falling off sideways, and there’s blood starting to trickle from his face, staining his robes.

From the other side of the pitch, there are triumphant shouts from the crowd as the Snitch is held up in the air by the Slytherin Seeker, a slender black-haired boy. Vernon isn’t there; you see him fly to Jun’s aid as his teammates slow his fall before he hits the ground. Everyone converges on him, someone calls for Madam Pomfrey, and you decide you have to see him now.

Seungcheol clears the way for you, tall and broad, and you break through the rows with the others in tow, running across the muddy field until you reach the players huddled in a circle.

“Is he okay? What’s going on?” you ask a worried-looking Vernon, clutching his broomstick. 

“Er… well, he’s unconscious,” the younger boy tells you. “And he’s bleeding. They got him pretty good.”

“What?” You push past more of his teammates, hand flying up to cover your mouth at the sight of his bruised face and bleeding ear, shoulder clearly dislocated at the angle he was hit. His eyes are closed, knocked out by the clean swing to the head — you know that he’ll be fine, that Madam Pomfrey’s magic will heal him up soon and it’s not a Muggle injury like the ones you both had faced as young children, but you’re suddenly angry, whirling around with your hand in your pocket.

Hyunjin runs up to the group, having fetched the matron, and you watch them take your best friend up to the hospital wing.

“He’ll be fine,” Joshua says, patting your shoulder. The others nod. “It’s just the usual Bludger injury, just give it a day or two.”

“It’s not,” you seethe. Most of the students are heading back into the castle, and there aren’t any staff around. “Yoon Jeonghan. Where is he?”

“Uh…” Hyunjin gestures to the opposing team. “I reckon he’s over there. Why?”

“That bastard,” you spit, marching over to the group of players in green and silver robes talking amongst themselves seriously. When you approach, you reach for his shoulder, aggressively yanking him around to face you.

There’s an unreadable expression on his face but he immediately schools it, nonchalant and unbothered as ever, looking at you with a calmness that angers you more by the second.

“Can I help you, L/N?”

“You fucking prick,” you yell up at him. “You knew what you were doing, didn’t you? It wasn’t just for the game. You just always have to have the last laugh, right? You just want to win, everything else be damned.”

Jeonghan raises an eyebrow. “I had nothing to do with us winning the match.”

“No, you didn’t,” tears start escaping your eyes from how frustrated and angry you are, “ you didn’t really care about that, did you? You just always have to win against me. You just need a reason, one reason to mess with me and my friends. Am I wrong?”

“Yes…? Look, L/N —”

Before he can finish your sentence, you reach into your robes for your wand, pulling it out in blind rage. Jeonghan realizes what you’re about to do and grabs for his, tucked safely away into one of his pockets, and you both point at each other, incantations on the tips of your tongues —

“Expelliarmus!”

Your wands fly out of your hands as Joshua puts his own away, walking over to you both. “You can’t fight each other here,” he says sternly, “or anywhere else, for that matter. Seriously, have you two ever thought about talking this out and not attempting to kill each other whenever you happen to be in proximity?”

“No,” Jeonghan snorts, and you nod vigorously.

“Well, I won’t have you two dueling on demand. Not on my watch.” 

“But he literally just —!”

The prefect silences you with a shake of his head. “I’d rather not dock points off either of you, so I’ll just let it go this time, but please … I want my friends alive and well and not at each other’s throats constantly.”

You glare at Jeonghan the best you can (if looks could kill, you hope he would be six feet well under) and stalk off to pick up your wand. Wonwoo offers you an empathetic smile.

“Do you want to go visit Jun now?”

“Yeah,” you answer grumpily, turning around to eye your nemesis, surrounded by his team whispering probably about what just happened. Joshua is talking to Seungcheol beside them, presumably waiting for the group to finish their team chat. “I can’t believe he got away with that, Woo.”

“He didn’t break the rules, there wasn’t anything for Hooch to call him out on,” he tells you, putting an arm around your shoulder. “Jun’s gonna be fine, yeah?”

You lean into his side a little, exhausted and still angry. “Okay,” you finally relent, letting him lead you back into the castle. You don’t look back, but the weight of the wand in your pocket is a burning reminder of the boy you can never, and will never, get along with.

It’s late, well past curfew. Jeonghan knows that, and yet he finds himself slipping out of the dungeons, careful not to make a single noise. Joshua doesn’t need to know that he’s chosen to break a few rules again tonight.

He doesn’t even know why he’s doing this, he realizes as he makes his way up the flights of stairs, careful to jump the disappearing step halfway. He shouldn’t be doing this, really, but something in him tells him to. It had bothered him all day — he couldn’t stop thinking about it and it had kept him up, unable to sleep peacefully.

Jeonghan approaches the hospital wing, treading gingerly. The voice in his head telling him to just go back downstairs doesn’t shut up, but that’s more of a reason why he’ll stay. The image of you kneeling over your childhood friend, panic in your eyes, pops into his head first. Then the look on your face, on the verge of tears, as they’d carried him back to the castle. Your icy glare, wand pointed straight ahead.

He shakes these thoughts away, quietly slipping through the curtains. Madam Pomdrey’s quarters are close by, but she won’t hear him, he knows this confidently. Five years is enough for a boy seeking out mischief to figure out how to properly sneak around the castle.

All the beds are empty, except for one. Junhui is propped up on several pillows, right arm in a sling as he rests. The bruises and blood are gone, but Jeonghan knows that the bone damage will take a bit longer to fully heal.

“You know, you’re the last person I expected to be here at this hour.”

Jeonghan startles, a little. Junhui’s eyes are open now, shadowed by the gentle moonlight. “Ah… well, I just …”

“Gave in to your humane tendencies?” Junhui asks dryly, scoffing.

“I guess you could say that.”

“Cut the crap and tell me what you want, Yoon.”

Why’d he come here in the first place? The only thing in Jeonghan’s mind had been your stricken face and a strange guilt in his chest, that’s all.

“I don’t know,” he says finally. “‘Guess I kinda felt bad for, y’know. Smashing your shoulder in and all that.”

“Felt bad for just doing your job on the pitch?”

“... I won’t deny that it was intentional.”

“So I thought.” Junhui hums, lips quirking upwards slightly. “I’m not offended, if you thought I wanted an apology. These things are bound to happen, and anyway, I didn’t really expect much else from someone like you.”

Jeonghan is quiet, not really knowing how to respond. Someone like him… of course, he hadn’t anticipated Junhui’s attitude towards him to be any sort of benevolent at all.

“Cat got your tongue, Yoon? Is that all you wanted to say?”

“Yeah,” he says finally, averting his eyes from the younger boy. “That was it.”

“Alright, then.”

He turns to leave the infirmary, but he barely gets past the curtains before Junhui’s voice stops him again. “Hey, Yoon Jeonghan.”

“Yes?”

“If you really do feel like you owe an apology, you won’t find that person here,” he says lightly. Jeonghan turns, eyeing the boy with suspicion.

“You’re talking about L/N, aren’t you?”

“You tell me.” 

“She isn’t the one who got multiple injuries to the shoulder and face. You are.”

Junhui chuckles softly, laying back again and closing his eyes. “Huh. Maybe there is a heart in there after all. Way, way deep down in that twisted little soul of yours, in your own twisted little way.”

Jeonghan rolls his eyes, already irritated. He should probably leave before he says something he’s sure to regret later. “I’m leaving,” he replies shortly. “Don’t die, Wen.”

“I’ll do my best.”

That trip to the hospital wing doesn’t help him at all in terms of sleep. In fact, Jeonghan stays up nearly all night, just contemplating. Thinking. Tossing and turning around in his bed. And for some reason, you plague his mind more than he would ever like to admit.

You and Jeonghan don’t really speak much after that incident, not even to strike a nerve now and then in passing. Autumn leaves fall and the first snow arrives with a strange peace of mind that you aren’t used to having since you stepped foot into the castle as a first-year.

Jun, all healed and in prime Chasing shape now, has certainly noticed the change in demeanor.

“Did he finally decide to stop bothering you?” he questions one day when you’re both seated in the library. The Slytherin in question is just a table over with Joshua and Seungcheol, immersed in reading a large textbook. “Has it finally happened?”

“I mean, I guess so,” you say, brows furrowed. “He’s gone radio silent on me for the past month and a half now.”

“You should be celebrating!”

You should. You nearly did, when you first realized that he’d started leaving you alone more, but then it had felt weird to be able to just mind your own business in Potions without those biting remarks you used to receive on the daily.

“Yeah, whatever,” you say, going back to your half-finished Potions essay. “C’mon, focus, Jun. How are we gonna pass the O.W.L.s if we can’t even score an Excellent on one of these darned essays?”

“But I don’t even get why you can’t put dittany and fluxweed in the cauldron together,” he whines. “Slughorn didn’t even bother explaining. He just said something along the lines of ‘do it but at your own risk’ and that doesn’t really help.”

Wonwoo sighs, slouched over in his chair with a novel in hand. “Why don’t you just pay attention in class instead of bickering with each other?”

“His fault!”

“Her fault!”

He sighs again, adjusting his glasses. “I turned it in yesterday, so I can’t remember exactly what I wrote, but the gist of it is that it’ll cause an explosion and if any of it gets on your skin it’ll give you a nasty rash.”

“Leave it to you to do the homework super early,” Jun grumbles. “So unhelpful.”

“No, I’m just responsible.”

You manage to write another few inches of your essay while Jun gets lectured, and when he leaves for Quidditch practice, Wonwoo rises to go too.

“I’ve got to tutor a few first years for Transfiguration in a few minutes,” he says apologetically. “Or I’d have stayed a bit longer.”

You wave him off with a smile, telling him you’ll see him at dinner, and he’s gone, leaving you alone at your table. Not for long however, when someone taps on your shoulder a few seconds later.

“Hey,” Joshua grins, standing over you, “wanna come join us? You seem a bit lonely, plus I feel like I’m going to lose my mind with these two dimwits if I don’t have a voice of reason here.”

Your eyes flicker to Jeonghan, arguing with Seungcheol about something. You want to say no but you end up agreeing anyway, pulling your stuff and a chair over to the empty spot at their table, Jeonghan directly in front of you.

“What did he do?” you ask your friend quietly.

“Oh, Cheol is convinced Jeonghan used an Auto-Answer quill on the Herbology homework and his Gryffindor pride won’t let him just forget about it,” Joshua rolls his eyes. “This is my day to day reality, in case you were wondering. It’s not fun.”

“Well, he probably shouldn’t be using one anyways … so much for being Prefect,” you tease. “Didn’t you say anything to him about it?”

“The world won’t end if a bloke slacks off a little every once in a while. I might be a prefect, but I’m not a stickler for the rules when it’s as harmless as this .”

“Maybe you should have been in Slytherin.”

“That’s what I keep telling him!” Seungcheol exclaims. “He likes to pretend he’s so much better than us, but morally he’s at the same level as this one,” he says, jabbing Jeonghan in the shoulder.

The latter doesn’t reply, just stares you down, eyebrows furrowed. “What’s she doing here?”

“I asked her to come sit with us because her friends left,” Joshua says patiently. “Please tell me you’re going to let it be and not cause a scene.”

“Why didn’t you just leave her alone?”

“I’m right here,” you interrupt, irritated. “You can talk to me, you ass.”

Jeonghan scoffs quietly. “And why would I want to do that?”

“Here we go again,” Seungcheol mutters, slouching further in the chair and hiding his face behind the newest edition of Hogwarts: A History.

The Slytherin’s nonchalant attitude makes you furious, anger bubbling up through your chest. 

“What is wrong with you? You suddenly decide out of nowhere that you’re going to be a decent person and leave me the hell alone, fine, but the second we have to coexist you start picking a fight with me? Are you serious?”

Joshua sighs. “Guys, please don’t get us kicked out of here —”

“I didn’t say you couldn’t be here, I just asked why. If anything, you’re the one picking a fight right now,” Jeonghan points out coolly, and you keep your mouth shut for the sole reason that the number of expletives you have ready would definitely get you banned from the library for life.

Seungcheol straightens suddenly, trying to change the mood. “Okay, um, has anyone started the essay Binns assigned? ‘Cause I have no idea what I’m doing whatsoever and he will probably be able to tell while grading my work.”

“I already wrote it. Here, let me see what you have so far,” you offer, glad to think about something, anything else. You scan his parchment and find several mistakes (“A troll, Choi, not a house elf”), correcting them as you go.

“You should come to the next game,” he says, taking his essay back with a grateful smile. “Gryffindor against Hufflepuff. You’ll get to see us beat Josh to the ground,” he jokes.

“Cheol, don’t you make Quidditch a personal problem!”

You chuckle. “I’ll come, I suppose, but who am I supposed to support?”

“Me,” Joshua says immediately, “because I’ve been your friend since first year and you’ve barely spoken to him, like, ever.”

“Maybe I’ll do what you did and show up in both colors,” you counter. “Two-timer.”

“I told you the night before that I can never pick a side!”

Seungcheol joins you in laughing at him — oh, it feels so good to truly let yourself feel happy for a minute without worrying about everyone else all the time. Sure, you can still feel Jeonghan’s eyes burning into you, but you refuse to look. You refuse to give him the time of day when he treats you like trash and can’t decide whether he wants to be tolerable or a downright jackass.

Maybe someday in the future, once you’re older and out of Hogwarts, you’ll see this as a stupid rift between schoolmates, futile grudges you’re both holding that won’t ever matter in the grand scheme of things. But now, sitting in the library, it’s anything but. 

This is real time, and you are in it. And you are determined to detest Yoon Jeonghan with all of your heart, more than anything else.

It’s extremely late by the time Seungcheol manages to finish his essay with the help of his friends, just a bit before curfew. You’d left a while ago for dinner — thank Merlin for that, Jeonghan thinks — and hadn’t returned, probably to get a head start on other homework.

You are a Ravenclaw, after all. He wouldn’t really expect much else.

So you’d gone, bidding his friends goodbye and promising them both different things, telling Joshua you’d meet him for his evening rounds tomorrow and agreeing to show up for Saturday’s Quidditch game. And that had been all. You hadn’t even spared a look in his direction, let alone spoken to him for a moment.

Pity. He would have liked to crack that smile at you once again, the one he knows will rile you up instantly, but he hadn’t had the chance.

“Why do you even like Y/N so much?” he asks Joshua as they’re heading back, once Seungcheol waves them off with a quick goodnight and turns towards Gryffindor Tower.

“You know, she asked me the same thing back at the beginning of the year,” Joshua chuckles. “Sounded as confused as you do, too.”

“What’d you tell her?”

“That you’re my friend and somehow, somewhere, there is a heart of gold hiding under that pretentious dickhead image you have,” he replies, “and in response to you I’ll say nearly the same thing, except that Y/N doesn’t have a pretentious dickhead image to begin with.”

“That’s such a lie, and you know it.”

“No, I don’t, because as much as you like to deny it, she’s genuinely a good person,” Joshua rolls his eyes. “And as much as you enjoy acting like she’s always uptight and defensive — don’t look at me like that, you’ve said those exact words before — you clearly haven’t interacted much outside of those rows you guys used to have every other day.”

“Used to have,” Jeonghan echoes.

“Yeah, I’m glad you chose to lay off her for a bit, because you were starting to be kind of a dick,” Joshua admits. “I don’t think Y/N’s exactly right either when she’s badmouthing you, and I do defend you when I can get a word in, but you honestly did start most of your arguments so I can’t really say anything as far as that goes.”

The past tense doesn’t go over Jeonghan’s head. He hadn’t really meant to let you be; sure, it seemed like a blessing to fellow classmates and teachers alike (Merlin knows Professor Longbottom was sick of your spontaneous quarrels during class) but it wasn’t intentional on his part.

Somehow it just … happened. After visiting Junhui in the infirmary that night, he stopped going out of his way to bother you. You weighed on his conscience all the time anyways, he didn’t need you in his daily life to add to that. 

Ah, but he shouldn’t be feeling bad for you. Why would he, when he’s the reason you suffer? Jeonghan hasn’t stopped bugging you for five years now, always at odds with you; it’s a game of careful balance, a perpetual back and forth that amuses him endlessly, and he’s never stopped. 

It’s become something like a constant in his life, and perhaps yours as well. Something he can count on to always be present. It doesn’t matter if he’s just lost a match, or struggled in Transfiguration (not that he’d ever let that slip to you) — you’re always there, he can always fire off a sarcastic one-liner, and the rest is as usual.

Maybe he’ll stop now. Maybe it’s good for him to stop now, too, and get you off his mind in the process.

“Hello? Earth to Jeonghan!” Joshua is laughing at him when he finally focuses on his friend. “What were you daydreaming about?”

“Nothing. Just … stuff.”

“Stuff,” Joshua repeats, eyebrows raised. “Alright, mate, have fun pondering stuff. I’ll see you at breakfast, Han. Don’t stay up too late, okay?”

When he leaves, Jeonghan is left alone there, just him and his confused mind.  Maybe someday he’ll figure it out. But right now he disappears into the shadows of the staircase, down towards the dungeons.

He’ll think about it later. Tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day.

“What was the ingredient Slughorn told us to substitute for the asphodel last week?”

“You seriously don’t know?”

“Why do you think I’m asking you, L/N?”

“Fine. Crushed firefly wings.”

“... Thanks.”

“What?”

“I said, thanks.”

“Oh. Well… you’re welcome.”

At some point in the middle of the week before O.W.L.s, Yoon Jeonghan realizes that maybe you’re not as horrible as he’d originally thought.

Something in him hates that the idea of you being around doesn’t really disgust him like it used to. As for you being on his mind more often than not, he’s already come to terms with it. After all, five years of arguing with someone might as well form a connection, who knows?

Now, though, he really watches you — not with the critical eye he’s used countless times before, the one he used to catch your every flaw and mistake. No, he just watches you exist and float around your friends, doing what you can.

And maybe he was a bit wrong when he called you stuck up, because you readily help Joshua with any questions, you make your friends feel at ease when they aren’t sure about something they’ve learned. Maybe he was a bit wrong when he called you defensive, and foolish, and stupid, because you’re slowly proving that you’re anything but.

Actually, it might have been there all along, but he’s selectively chosen to ignore anything positive about you in all the time he’s known you, so who is he to complain, really?

He catches you early to Potions one day, talking casually with your friends in the corner. You see him enter and the both of you greet each other with a curt nod. Which is strange, he knows — he sees Junhui whisper something to you, brows furrowed. He wonders what it is; Junhui is somewhat interesting, he’s decided after that conversation they’d had that night in the hospital wing.

When you finally leave your buddies and move your stuff to the table you’re both seated at now, Jeonghan already has his supplies out, parchment and notes on the desk as he rummages through his bag for something to write with. You’re looking him dead in the eye as he straightens.

“D’you need a quill, or?”

He blinks. There it is again, your constant kindness. Now that he’s subject to it, he wonders why exactly he didn’t really notice it before.

“Er, yeah, I suppose.”

Your skin brushes against his fingers lightly as you pass it to him, for a moment, and that’s all. You don’t look or speak to him again that class, but he feels like he’s starting to see you in a new light. 

A part of him hates it. (He realizes he doesn’t entirely hate it.)

Potions is over before he knows it, the time flying faster than it usually does. You end up leaving the room before he can return the quill he’d borrowed, basically bolting out the door. Whatever, he thinks, he’ll see you again. He can give it back to you another day.

Later that night, he’s using it to do homework in the library with his friends when Joshua makes a noise of disbelief in the back of his throat. 

“What?” Jeonghan queries.

“How’d you have that?”

“Borrowed a quill from L/N during Potions. Why?”

Joshua gives him an odd look. “That’s her favorite quill,” he says slowly. “The one with the golden stripes and gray end. She loves that one to death.”

“... Oh.”

Jeonghan isn’t sure why, but this manages to warm his heart a little. The gold speckles on the feathers shine under the light as he twirls it between his fingers, and every time he sees you after that he conveniently forgets to remind you to take it back. 

Maybe he just likes how it looks when he writes with it. Maybe he just wants to carry a piece of you with him even when you’re not around.

At some point in the middle of the week before O.W.L.s, you realize that maybe Yoon Jeonghan isn’t as horrible as you’d originally thought.

For one, he’s started being somewhat decent to you, which is a step up from pretending you don’t exist and a great leap from treating you like absolute trash whenever you’re around him. You don’t miss the subtle manners directed towards you in class, and in passing, and sometimes it makes you pause and rethink. 

More startling is his newly evident courtesy towards your best friend. The first time you saw them acknowledge each other without a scowl or smirk on either of their faces, you nearly passed out from shock.

“What the hell was that?” you had asked Jun. “What just happened?”

“I greeted a classmate?”

“Dude, you’ve hated him for almost as long as I have.”

“You never know, Y/N. Some people might not be worth hating after all.”

“Oh wow, so vague and mysterious, you’re really helping, Jun.”

Wonwoo had laughed at the both of you, telling you to stay focused on getting to class, and that had been it. At the moment. You still think about it from time to time, wondering what could have caused this change in demeanor.

And you start changing yours as well, because deep down, you know it would be unnecessarily mean of you to be rude to someone who seems like they’re trying to be polite. So… you return the favor, answering questions about class and lending quills and parchment. You’re civil, he’s civil, and things seem to be going smoothly.

Jeonghan almost makes you think you had been wrong about him from the start. But that’s not possible… is it? You find yourself thinking about him too often these days, but you still can’t figure him out, and it irks you to no end.

A part of you hates it. (You realize you don’t entirely hate it.)

The week you were supposed to spend studying turns into a week of you grappling with your conflicting feelings about a certain Slytherin that’s been plaguing your mind lately, a game you’re playing within your own head. Forget the Silencing Charm, forget the Draught of Living Death — you’re analyzing his behavior patterns, overthinking every single moment of your interactions.

You decide, in the end, that you don’t really hate Yoon Jeonghan anymore. You don’t tell Jun or Wonwoo, or Joshua, just a little secret for you and yourself. Something about it feels wrong, after so many years of hating and hating and hating, but you’re sure that you’ve never made a choice so right. 

You hope you’re right.

The O.W.L.s pass by with minimal stress and satisfying results, all the fifth years in the castle free for a while to do whatever in their spare time as a small reward for the grueling exam week. Wonwoo has taken up his broomstick again, joining Jun and a few other friends in small games of Quidditch when the weather is nice out. You like to sit and watch as they fly in loops through the air, often bringing with you a small book or some work to do as you keep them company from afar.

Sometimes Jeonghan decides to join the ruckus in the air. Sometimes, he decides to join you. You never know why, and you never question it, reveling in the novelty of coexisting without chaos.

It’s strange now though, the silence that passes between the both of you as you sit there doing your own thing. You aren’t used to the peace and quiet still, eyes darting to his figure hunched over a book every now and then.

Something catches your eye as he moves to write again. “Is that my quill?” you blurt out.

He stops writing, examining the feather between his fingers. “Oh … yeah, I think it’s the one you lent me in class a while ago.”

“Yeah, maybe — no, it’s okay, you can keep it. I’ve got plenty of others,” you say rushedly when he offers it back to you. “It wasn’t anything special.”

Jeonghan raises an eyebrow, bangs curving over his forehead. “Joshua said that it’s your favorite quill.”

Damn you, Joshua Hong. “It looks just like all my other ones,” you defend. “I’ll live without it.”

He merely shrugs, returning to his work. “If you say so.”

You watch him continue writing with it, the ink flowing from the tip and some of it getting smeared on the sides of his fingers. He’s right, it is your favorite quill, the one with golden speckles and a more comfortable feel than the other ones. But you would rather not have it back once he’s already had it in his hands. After all, both of you had forgotten, so why should it matter now?

Up above you, Wonwoo accidentally flies straight into Seungcheol’s back, and the latter hollers at him in response. Tearing your eyes off of them, you observe Jeonghan for a few seconds before asking a question that’s been weighing on your mind for quite a while.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

Jeonghan stills, quill halting. He looks directly at you — he’s straightforward like that, never beating around the bush — and just stares for a second. You wonder if he has always looked this good under the afternoon sunlight, his features softer as he gazes at you now.

He looks like he might say something, lips moving around unspoken words, but they close at the last second as he lets out a quiet scoff. With a quick shake of his head, he’s back at his parchment again, scribbling away. 

The gesture stings as vexation blossoms in your chest. He was being polite, he was being kind almost, and yet he deems you not even worth a response to what is probably one of the most valid questions you could ask. It feels like a slap in the face, and you can feel your eyes welling up already, just threatening to spill onto your cheeks.

Not that you care, of course. Tears of frustration are far more familiar to you than tears of sadness, and this is most definitely the former.

You can’t stand to be around him again, not when his actions are so push and pull, so you grab your stuff into your arms and stand up suddenly, ready to leave.

“L/N.”  Jeonghan tries again when you don’t reply. “Where are you going?”

Oh, so now he cares, you think, suppressing the urge to roll your eyes. You don’t bother giving him a response, choosing to ignore his words as you leave the stands as quickly as you can. You hear him call out again, your first name from his mouth this time (he’s never called you that, it was always L/N with him, and it almost makes you stop and turn), but you keep going towards the castle. 

Maybe you were wrong about being wrong — the idea of it nearly makes you laugh. Perhaps it’s time to just accept that some people might just never change.

“So you just let her leave?”

Jeonghan scowls at his best friend, fighting the urge to throw a pillow at him. The three of them are in the Gryffindor common room, sprawled across Seungcheol’s bed, talking about the most recent happenings in Jeonghan’s life. 

“What was I supposed to do, tackle her to the ground?”

Joshua leans his head into his palm. “I think a better question is, how exactly do you feel about her right now?”

“... What are you insinuating?”

“Answer my question first and maybe you’ll find out.”

Jeonghan sighs. “I don’t know what you want me to say. There’s no huge shocking revelation or whatever,” he explains. “I just… don’t hate her. That’s all.”

“You hated her, and now you don’t, so clearly there’s been some type of change,” Seungcheol points out. “So you figure out what changed, and whether you like it or not.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever hated her,” Jeonghan says slowly, just as the realization pops into his head. “I don’t know why she asked me that. I didn’t have an answer.”

His friends are quiet for a second. “Merlin, you’re dense,” Joshua observes. “Tell her exactly what you just told us! Are you kidding?”

“Yeah, no.”

“Why not?”

“Because then I’ll come across as some weirdo! How do you think that would go? ‘Hey, I’ve been a total prick to you for the past five years but I actually don’t hate you like you thought I do’, is that what you want me to say?”

“Yeah? What could go wrong with that? What are you afraid of?”

“That’s just out of my comfort zone, mate.”

Joshua lets out a hearty laugh. “C’mon, Han. Since when were you restricted to a comfort zone regarding anything?”

He doesn’t know. He didn’t think he was, but recently things have changed so much that he doesn’t really know what he’s doing, isn’t even sure where exactly he stands with you anymore. Everything was perfectly stable, but now he’s been shaken up. Uncertain. If there’s anything Jeonghan hates, it’s the uncertainty of his situation right now.

That uncertainty does nothing but grow with each passing day he spends in your vicinity.

At first it’s the little actions, the kind things you’ve always done for people but never directed towards him until now, and it’s now that he learns to appreciate the gestures he’d thought absolutely nothing of before. It goes from silently accepting your offered notes during Charms to watching you chase Wonwoo around the Great Lake, the sun illuminating your already bright smile. 

Jeonghan wonders why he’d never noticed this, you, before. (He wonders why the sight has his heart pounding in his chest.)

When the first columbines bloom in the spring, you’re there among them in a pretty maroon sundress on the weekends, casting away your usual robes as well as your worries, laughing and talking to your friends. He often happens to see you there, eyes finding you involuntarily as he’s walking across the grounds. 

Sometimes yours meet his in return, and the tentative greeting you give him is enough to send his brain into a tailspin for the next few minutes.

It gets so bad, so confusing, that he decides to sit his friends down again and brief them about his dilemma, hoping for some advice and support. All they do, however, is stare at him like he’s a complete idiot.

“Fuckin’ knew it,” Seungcheol claps excitedly.

“Knew what, exactly?”

“You think she’s cute, don’t ya?”

Jeonghan rolls his eyes, cheeks heating up. “Cheol, I am going to hex you into next week if you don’t stop jumping to conclusions.”

“I’m not jumping anywhere. You literally gave us all we have to know!”

Joshua sighs, watching the back and forth. “The answer is right here, Han, and maybe you would see it if your head weren’t so far up your ass and you would actually face the facts for once.”

Of course Joshua has to be reasonable, and most of the time, right. “And what are those facts?”

“You don’t hate her, correct?”

“Correct.”

“And now you’re telling us that she’s really nice, and pretty, and is aware of your presence, but you refuse to actually talk about it and freak out every time we suggest confronting her?”

“I don’t freak out!”

“Sure,” Joshua snorts. “Your whole world view of Y/N flipped completely over the span of like, five months, Han. How much longer are you going to keep telling yourself no when your heart is clearly screaming yes?”

Silence. Jeonghan blinks once, twice, still taking in the words. He tries his best to suppress it, but he feels something in his chest shift at the thought of you again and there’s no denying it anymore. He looks at Seungcheol, and then Joshua, eyes impossibly wide.

“Fuck.”

You’re busy sending a letter back home in the Owlery, updating your sisters and parents on some important things and responding to a message from your older brother when someone joins you in the room, quietly shuffling around among the school owls. A glimpse of green and silver, and the signature messy black hair, tells you exactly who it is.

Sending off the little pygmy owl with a gentle scratch behind the ears, you’re ready to go, fully prepared to walk past the person behind you, but he’s blocking your path when you turn around, arms folded as he stares you down.

You sigh, mirroring his stance. “What do you want, Yoon?”

“Why are you so quick to leave?” he counters confidently. Something about it is different now though, less cocky than usual and maybe a smidge more sincere. “Can’t stand being in the same room as me that bad, huh?”

“You of all people should know that,” you seethe. “You can’t just go back and forth between being nice and then being a complete dick. Maybe just make up your mind for once, okay? Just settle with hating me if that’s what you want to do so much.”

Jeonghan is silent. You take that as your cue to leave and angrily attempt to walk past him, but he stops you gently with an outstretched arm. 

“Y/N,” he says quietly, looking down. “I don’t hate you.”

“Yeah, right. You’re clearly lying.”

“I don’t,” he repeats, letting go of you now. You make no move to leave, and he looks relieved, almost. “I never have.”

“Yoon Jeonghan, this is a terrible idea for a —”

“It’s not a prank,” he insists, brows furrowed. “God, Y/N, I’m serious. I don’t hate you, and I know I acted like it for the longest time, but shit, it’s not true, I just … I —”

“You what, Jeonghan?” you ask, his name rolling off your tongue for the first time, easily, like it was always meant to be. Something softens in your chest, the frustration and bitterness of the past few days ebbing away slowly.

He just shakes his head like he’s dismissing the unspoken thought. “I’ve never felt that way towards you, Y/N, even though you have. It’s not true, I want you to know that.”

This comes as news to you at the same time that it doesn’t. Somehow you always knew that whatever was between you two, it wasn’t pure hatred. If he hated you, he wouldn’t have chosen to interact with you every single day, and if you’d felt the same you wouldn’t have let him in the first place. It takes two to tango, after all.

“I haven’t either,” you admit, putting aside any inhibitions you might have had and looking him directly in the eye. “I know I behaved that way for a while, too, but I don’t. I’m telling you just … just so you don’t think I totally despise your guts or anything.”

Your confidence makes him falter for a second, but his mouth lifts into that telltale smile again. Not so self-assured as it used to be, but softer now, more gentle and warm. “Does that mean I can keep bothering you during class then?”

“No,” you insist sternly, trying to keep back a tiny smile of your own. “It just means I don’t necessarily think you’re the worst person ever. And I won’t try to hex you when you aren’t looking.”

Jeonghan laughs, a quiet, lovely chuckle. He looks even better when he’s happy, you notice, his handsome features and the curve of his lips heightened by the mirth in his face.

“I’ll take it.”

“Well, it looks like you have a letter to send, so I’ll be going,” you laugh nervously, gesturing towards the piece of parchment tucked into his elbow. “See you around, I guess.”

He nods in agreement, stepping towards the window as you leave, heart thumping so loud in your chest that you wonder whether he can hear it from his place in the room, but he calls for you again before you go. You’re met with a brilliant smile and twinkling eyes when you turn and face him, raising an eyebrow in question.

“You should use my actual name more, Y/N. It sounds good coming from you.”

Jeonghan has never, ever had a jealous streak as far as he can remember. Until now.

He can’t help the way his jaw tenses at the sight of that Gryffindor boy who keeps hanging around you these days, one of Seungcheol’s Quidditch teammates, the one with the loud voice and obnoxious laugh. He can’t remember his name — Chanyoung? Sooho? — but all he knows is that he doesn’t like it when you laugh at any of his stupid jokes, or greet him with your pretty smile in the mornings at breakfast.

Naturally, he decides to interfere in his own way. The next time he sees the guy hovering by you and your friends, he marches right over, sidling up to you and slipping an arm around your shoulder as he takes the seat next to you. 

You just gape at him, taken completely by surprise. “Jeonghan, what—?”

He ignores the sudden rush he feels when you say his name and focuses on the baffled dude standing in front of him. “Hey, man,” he says casually, sizing him up. “What’s going on?”

You give Jeonghan a warning look. “Nothing’s happening. Soonyoung and I were just talking.”

Ah, so that’s his name. Vaguely, he remembers Seungcheol mentioning him several times here and there while discussing game strategy, praising him for his clever plays. 

“Oh? Do enlighten me. I love a good little conversation,” he says, smirking at Soonyoung.

The poor guy looks awfully confused, eyes darting between the two of you uncertainly.

“Oh. Well … I was just about to ask Y/N if she wanted to, you know, go to the end of year ball together in a few weeks. Like, as friends.” He looks hopefully at you, but Jeonghan cuts in before you can make a response.

“Sorry, but she’s actually already going with me,” he says, arm tightening ever so slightly around you. 

“I am?” you ask, at the same time that Wonwoo chokes on his pumpkin juice and Jun lets out an incredulous “She is?!”

“Yeah,” Jeonghan confirms, still not looking directly at you. “Sorry, mate. Maybe next time. We’ll let you know if it doesn’t work out, yeah?”

“Uh… okay? Wait —”

“Soonyoung,” you interrupt with a sigh, “You should go eat something. I’ll see you in Divination later today, okay?”

He takes the hint and leaves, bidding you a hasty farewell, and you immediately turn to Jeonghan. “What the hell was that?”

“Were you seriously about to go out with Kwon Soonyoung?”

You roll your eyes at him, and Jeonghan thinks it’s extremely fucking cute, pulling his arm back to lean it against the table. “One ball doesn’t mean anything, okay? Plus, I didn’t even say anything to him. You answered for me! What’s so bad about him, anyways?”

“Nothing really,” Jeonghan shrugs, trying not to waver under your insistent eyes. “But would you really pass me up for some fourth-year Keeper like him?”

“If you haven’t noticed, trying to purposefully murder people on the pitch isn’t exactly the most glorious position either.”

Jun raises his fork from your other side in support. “Hell yeah to that,” he says, but even so, he meets Jeonghan’s gaze over your head and gives him a thumbs up, his silent and steadfast approval.

“Right, but now you’re sort of stuck with me,” Jeonghan tells you. “Because if I’m not wrong, the Gryffindor table has already started talking, and soon enough it’ll be the whole school.”

“Don’t you think it might cause several shock-related deaths if we show up together and not at each other’s throats?”

“True, but what’s a formal school event without a little bit of mischief?”

“Go to your table, Jeonghan,” is what you reply with, but there’s something in the way you say it that makes him think that maybe, just maybe, he has you convinced, and that’s enough for him. Before his courage fails him and he ends up backing out, he leans in to give your cheek a quick, soft kiss and walks straight to the Slytherin table before either of you can react to what just happened.

He doesn’t look back. He thinks his heart might explode if he does.

“Are you actually going with him?”

“Did he just ask you out?”

“When did you guys stop wanting to kill each other?”

“Do you have a dress in mind yet?”

You raise your hands in defeat. “Guys, slow down,” you say to Joshua and Jun. “Please. I’m going to develop a headache if you keep at it.”

Wonwoo raises his head from the novel he’s been reading. “Already got one over here, you’re kind of late to the game.”

“Anyways,” you continue, leaning back against the tree trunk, “Maybe, I don’t know, a while ago, and definitely not. In that order.”

“I already forgot what I asked,” Jun says sheepishly. “Start from the beginning, please. Like, when did you realize that you’re actually completely in love with him?”

“I’m not!” you protest, but your unsure voice and pink cheeks give it away.

“You so are! Look, Wonwoo, she’s blushing, isn’t she?”

The boy decides to put away his book, crossing his legs and looking at you amusedly. “You are,” he acknowledges. “You have so many tells, it’s pretty easy for us to read you. Are you just going to keep denying it, or what?”

“I’m seriously not! I’m not in love with him,” you say, fingers toying with the hem of your robes. “But… maybe, well,” your voice drops to a whisper. “I might like him.”

Your friends let out loud cheers that have several passing students glancing at them like they’ve been possessed by hippogriffs. “There we go,” Joshua says happily. “It’s about time, too.”

“Just a little bit!” you add indignantly. “Just a little, okay? Like extremely little.”

“That’s not what it looks like to me!” He laughs at the mess that you are right now, flustered and unsure how to proceed. “Okay, so are you going to the ball with him or not? Because you kind of have to decide at this point.”

“Do I? I don’t even know what those theatrics were. Probably another one of his pranks, you know he likes messing with the underclassmen now and then.”

“Are you serious?” Joshua leans in like he’s telling you a secret. “He was definitely trying to ask you, Y/N. Have you ever seen him make a move like that before?”

He’s right, you haven’t, but you aren’t sure what to do now that you’re in this situation. If you say yes, will he laugh it off and say he was just joking? If you turn it down, will you lose a chance at becoming something more than just halfway to friends?

“No,” you say slowly. 

“So, the ball’s in your court now,” Joshua explains. “Up to you whether you wanna go. But after your confession just now, I think we all know the answer to that, don’t we?”

You do, it’s sitting right there in front of you, but you’re not sure how to even digest how drastically your relationship with Jeonghan has changed over the course of the year. In a good way, certainly, but it almost gives you whiplash and a little voice in your conscience keeps injecting worst-case scenarios into your head. 

What if it’s all a joke? What if it was just a setup to make you look like a complete fool?

“I’m a little scared,” you admit. “I’ve spent five years distrusting and being at odds with him, and now I have to actually bare my heart and feelings to the same person. It’s… new.”

Wonwoo offers you a comforting smile. “It’ll always be new, no matter what. As long as it’s a good kind of new. This is good, right?”

“And if it isn’t for some reason, you’ve got us,” Jun adds.

You nod at them gratefully, thumb running across the seams on the inside of the edges of your robes. Yes, it’ll be a good thing — you’ll make it a good thing. After all, you’ve spent five years of this in bitter feelings and volatile anger. It’s time something good happened for both of you anyways.

Fifteen minutes until you have to meet Jeonghan in the Great Hall, sparkling and made up to perfection, and you already feel like your stomach is churning.

“Jun, I’m going to throw up,” you say as he helps you pin some of your hair back, the rest loose against your neck and shoulders. “Maybe I should just —”

“You are not skipping,” he says firmly. “You look wonderful, your dress is perfect, and the guy will be waiting for you in the hall so you’re not gonna stand him up, do you hear me?”

“Loud and clear,” you groan, looking at yourself again in the mirror. You look quite nice, but you’ve never gone to one of these balls before, always opting out to spend the time with your friends in the common room or strolling around the castle. 

This is different, though. Tonight you want to look your best, be your best. Jeonghan has seen you at pretty much your worst most of the time anyways, so you figure it’s about time you show him a different side to you anyways. The thought of him alone makes you a little fidgety; you wonder how he’ll look in dress robes under the shimmering chandeliers, yours for the evening.

When you finally enter the Hall, your friends in tow, you’re swarmed by classmates greeting and complimenting you on your first appearance since you’ve started school. Several girls from your Transfiguration class ask you about your dress and request makeup tips, and you direct them to Jun, who had taken up the role of your stylist for this particular event.

The group dissipates soon enough, and as you search the sea of students milling around you meet Jeonghan’s eyes somewhere in the middle. They light up when you find them, and he starts making his way towards you, navigating through the rest of the attendees.

Jun nudges your shoulder. “Time to go see your man. Go kill it, okay?”

“Let us know if you need anything,” Wonwoo waves as they both slip away together conveniently, just as Jeonghan gets to you. 

He stops short once you’re fully in his line of sight, taking you in silently. You’re flustered under his sudden and quiet gaze, smoothing down the fabric of your deep maroon dress and adjusting the puffy tulle sleeves on your shoulders. 

“Pretty,” he remarks after several seconds, clearing his throat and offering you his hand. “You, uh. You’re really pretty.”

“Thanks,” you squeak out. Breathe, Y/N. Stay calm, you tell yourself as you slip your hand into his. It’s warm and comfortable, and it pulls at your heartstrings when he closes his fingers around yours, holding them securely. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

Your words seem to put him at ease; he runs a hand through his hair as a roguish grin appears on his face.

“Glad to hear it,” he answers, tugging you gently away from the center of the hallway. He looks devastatingly handsome like this under the lighting, looking at you with a strange fondness that hasn’t been there before. A good new thing, you decide. 

When he reaches for you, you hesitate, the two of you swaying gently to the beat. “Jeonghan,” you murmur, “I can’t really dance.”

“Neither can I,” he admits, pulling you to him. “I’ve got two left feet, so I guess we’ll just wing this, yeah?”

Your feet move at random, but in sync and together as he whirls you across the dance floor, giggling when you accidentally step on his toes multiple times in the process. You get stares from the couples that actually do know how to dance and are doing it correctly (that quickly turn into hushed whispers when they realize that it’s the two of you that are together), but it’s not like you care, not while you’re having the time of your life doing Merlin knows what with Jeonghan’s arm around your waist.

It feels different, good. You feel happy and free, like your heart has sprouted wings and has taken flight.

After a few songs, it changes to something much more lively, and you move away from the crowd of dancing students, depleted of energy for now. You’ve just downed a glass of ice cold water when Jeonghan approaches, leaning in to whisper into your ear.

“Should we get out of here?” His voice sends a tingle down your spine, lips so close to your mouth that if you turned a little you’d be able to kiss him right there. “Not like that,” he laughs, looking at your incredulous expression. “Just away from all the sweat and grime and loud noise. I can barely hear you from here right now.”

“You don’t wanna hang out with your friends?”

He gestures towards Joshua, currently trying to catch the interest of a girl sitting by the fireplace, and to where a group of sixth-year Hufflepuffs are trying to get Seungcheol to get on the dance floor.

“I don’t think they’ll miss us just yet,” he says. “We’ll be back before they know it.”

Laughing, you let him lead you away, out of the hall and through several stairways until you’re out in the open air. You raise an eyebrow at him when he turns to face you.

“I thought students weren’t allowed at the Astronomy Tower outside of classes?”

Jeonghan merely winks at you, beckoning for you to come closer. “It’s my favorite place in the whole castle,” he says. “And since when have I followed rules like that anyways?”

“Classic,” you respond, drawing a snort out of him. You follow him to the railing, looking out over the grounds and then up into the sky where the moon shines down on Hogwarts, the stars accompanying it with their gentle light. It’s beautiful from up here; you can understand why he treasures this place so much.

“You know, I didn’t expect you to actually agree to come with me tonight.”

“After creating such a scene during breakfast? You yourself told me I had no way out after the word spread like wildfire.”

“You could have said no. It was always your choice.” Jeonghan turns to look at you, beautiful under the night sky. “And I had to go about it in such an underhanded way, so that I didn’t look like a fool in front of you. I couldn’t just come out and say what I had in mind.”

“Which was?”

He hesitates for a moment. “That I really wanted you to go with me and not Kwon Soonyoung,” he says quietly. “That I liked you then, and I still do now. You would have thought I was crazy if I’d said all that, so I didn’t.”

The confession gives you a strange courage, emboldening you enough to place a careful hand on his arm. “Would you think the same if I said that I like you, too?”

Jeonghan’s jaw drops momentarily, searching your eyes for any sign of a joke. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. Then and now,” you echo his words.

“This isn’t a prank or something, right? Revenge for everything I’ve done?”

“I can’t believe you, of all people are asking me this.”

“Fair,” Jeonghan lets out an embarrassed laugh. “It’s just a little hard to believe. That somehow,” he gestures between you both, “this happened. And that it might work out. I know I’ve given you very good reasons to not want anything to do with me for as long as we’ve known each other, so…”

“I’ve done the same, if anything,” you reassure him, a little nervous. “I’m willing to try this out, as long as you are. Y’know, if you want. No pressure.”

“Are you kidding me? Of course I want to,” he says firmly, placing his hand over yours. 

Your next words leave your mouth before you can even think about them. “Can I kiss you?”

Immediately, you clap a hand over your mouth, horrified by exactly how weirdly forward you’re being, but Jeonghan laughs softly, pulling it away and bringing you closer to him. 

“Go right ahead.”

He meets you halfway, slowly, as your lips meet for the first time — you nearly knock your nose against his, and he laughs again as he tilts your chin up and kisses you softly, to begin with. You can taste a hint of pumpkin off his mouth, probably from whatever he’d been drinking when you were still in the Great Hall, and it’s sweet, just like him and the hand that’s brushing your hair out of your face and placing tentative pecks on the corner of your mouth.

You decide that you like it. You like him, you like this, whatever it is that you two choose to be after this night.

It’s what he asks you when you finally pull away, looking anywhere, at anything but him. “So… are we, I mean, should we —”

“Date?”

“Do you want to?” It’s the first time you’ve ever seen Jeonghan look remotely anxious; he’s running his thumb over the hem of his sleeves, fidgeting with his dress robes. “I understand if you don’t. No pressure,” he tries joking.

You snort at this. “Yoon Jeonghan, you are so astronomically dense it hurts to witness sometimes.”

He breaks out into a full smile, eyes bright. “Is that a yes?”

At your affirmation, he brings you to him in a warm, protective hug, allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder. The gentleness of his touch makes you feel comfortable, like you could not take a wrong step while you’re here together. It feels secure, and you lean into him, sharing the happiness he clearly feels when you move closer to him.

You start at the sudden gust of wind, fingers tightening around his shoulders. He pulls back a little to look at you. “It’s getting cold. D’you wanna head back inside?”

“I think we should,” you agree, shivering slightly. “It’s getting late, too.”

Jeonghan flashes you a devilishly handsome smile as he takes your hand, leading you towards the door that’ll take you back into the castle.

“Good,” he says, holding it open for you. “Because I think it’s finally time I show my girlfriend off to the rest of the crowd.”

Platform 9 ¾ is bustling today, students lugging their belongings off the train and hurriedly finding their families, not before making hasty goodbyes to friends as well as promises to write or visit over the summer that awaits. 

“Write me often,” Wonwoo says, giving you and Jun each a hug. “Actually, just text. I’ll be in Korea for most of the summer and I know you both have phones. No need to send an owl for that long of a trip.”

“We will,” you tell him, reaching out to ruffle his hair. (He grumbles, but tolerates it because you’re his friends.) “Have a good time, Woo,” you both call after him as he leaves to find his mother and sister in the group of waiting families.

Someone else taps on your shoulder, two quick ones, and you turn around with a grin. “Yes, Han?”

“Thought you’d forgotten about me,” the boy teases, greeting Jun with a fist bump. “Almost lost you in the crowd there, love.”

The endearment never fails to give you butterflies, even now. Maybe it always will. “You found me, though. I was about to come find you, we were just sending Wonwoo off.”

Jun makes a gagging noise from beside you. “Ew, couples,” he pretends to be disgusted. “I’d leave right now if I wasn’t going home with Y/N.”

“You say that like you weren’t secretly egging me on,” Jeonghan frowns, pulling you into a hug from behind you. “Don’t be a hypocrite.”

You gasp. “Wow, you guys were secretly conniving behind my back?”

“Hey, it wasn’t like that!”

The three of you laugh at this, and Jeonghan lets go of you when you turn around. “I think I see my parents,” you tell him. “We’ve got to go now.”

“I’ll write to you,” he says, fingers intertwined in yours. “And you can come visit whenever you want, both of you. Josh and Seungcheol are usually over most of the time anyways, so it’ll be a whole party.”

“We will,” you promise. “I’ll miss you, Han. But I really do have to go now,” you say sadly.

Jeonghan presses a quick kiss to the side of your head, and then another one to your lips after he makes sure that Jun isn’t looking. “Go home, love. We’ll talk later, okay?”

“Bye,” you whisper, heart thudding in your chest as you leave. It doesn’t stop even when you get to your parents and siblings and they sweep you up in hugs, asking you and Jun how your year has been and your little sisters wondering when they’ll get to go to Hogwarts too, or even as all of you pile into the familiar family car, on the way home.

Jun looks at you when you’re all settled in and your dad gets on the highway. “So,” he says, amusement clear on his face. “That was one hell of a school year, wasn’t it?”

“It was,” you agree, smiling in return as you remember all the ups and downs you’ve been through. “But I really wouldn’t have it any other way.”

thank you for reading! come talk/give feedback/ask questions in my inbox, or rb to show support! sending love, aichi ♡

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ten reasons why i hate you

MASTERLIST 

PAIRING. rich boy!jaehyun x rich girl!reader  GENRES. angst, romance, drama, rich kid!au 

SYNOPSIS. while you admittedly didn’t refuse the arranged marriage between you and jung jaehyun, that didn’t mean that you’d allow him to treat you like a doormat. for the emotional distress he had put you through during the months leading up to your engagement party, you ensure that he will pay for the way he had been treating you for the rest of his life. 

WARNINGS. little to no romance, little to no fluff, swearing, mentions of drinking, leaning a bit towards the toxic side of a “relationship,” love triangle/rectangle, mentions of physician-assisted suicide (no major character death), mentions of death, (will be updated as we go). 

DISCLAIMER. this is a work of fiction based on fictional events and characters. it is unrelated to any real people, organisations, locations, and events. the laws, and legal and medical interpretations in this work have also been modified for storytelling purposes. 

[a/n]: thanks everyone for their interest in my drabble (now titled reason #1)! thanks to that, i decided to make this into a small series comprised of 10 short chapters, hopefully all under 2k words. i’ve always wanted to a story from the “antagonist” pov, so here’s my first attempt at it! 

STATUS. ongoing 

CHAPTERS 

one: reason #1  two: reason #2  three: reason #3  four: reason #4  five: reason #5  six: reason #6  seven: reason #7  eight: reason #8  nine: reason #9  ten: reason #10 (epilogue) 

© SMOLL-TANGERINE [2022-2023]. All rights reserved.

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chained | jung jaehyun (teaser)

pairing. jung jaehyun x fem!reader

content. arrange marriage au, husband!jaehyun, slight angst, fluff & smut

author's note. yes, i am coming back with another attempt of pulling another marriage trope.

link: chained

Your mother's smile is just as bright as the lights from the chandelier. She was elated, no, more than that.

You roam your eyes around, you see Kim Doyoung walking towards you sporting a knowing smile.

"Hey, how have you been?" He says, earning a smile from you. Doyoung was always in your friends' circle of friends. Not too close either, just enough for a good talk.

"I'm good. How about you? I heard you're doing really...really good." Emphasizing the "really" because you've been hearing Doyoung's name being one of the beast in the business industry.

He laughs, his eye crinkles while he does as he drinks on his glass, "Well. Money makes me work." You laugh with him too.

He was so good in conversing that your talk got cut off by your Mother pestering you to find Jaehyun already. She pushes you to the halls after taking the staircase.

"Check Jaehyun in his room. You know where he is and then come down if you're ready!" She cheerfully says as you start to walk towards the hall where Jaehyun's room is.

You were supposed to knock on the door, but it was slightly opened. And you weren't sure if you were just hearing things or something else. You peek on the space that was opened seeing nothing but the large windows on the side, then you heard the woman's whimpers and whines. Calling Jaehyun's name like a mantra.

It was then when it hit you.

They were having sex.

You carefully stepback, walking very fast on the halls to the staircase down. As you were going down, you heard the announcement, "---Here to celebrate Y/N and Jaehyun's engagement!"

You froze, all eyes were now on you. Alone in the staircase. The guests eyes trailed behind you and they clapped and cheered, seeing Jaehyun as you sigh in relief. Releasing a smile and a nod, you go down the stairs with him following you.

Jaehyun's eyes changed. It was piercing through you. It was like he was accusing you of something. You couldn't wait to question that out.

People came to greet you both as you politely said your thank you's.

When you were left alone, Jaehyun grits his teeth. "Did you know about this?"

You quickly shake your head, "No. I wasn't expecting this either."

"Bullshit, Y/N. I heard your Mom talking." You were taken aback. He was never that vulgar to you before. He was the sweet and gentle Jaehyun that you knew. Well, not anymore since you heard the woman's voice in his room.

"We can talk about this in private, Jae. You don't have to be so worked up right now in front of everyone. We'll find a way." You said calmly, soothing him in a way.

He relaxes and blurts out, "I'm sorry. I was just shocked and I heard them talking so I thought...." You nod, understanding him.

You and Jaehyun both opposed the marriage, but it was already settled. Mrs. Jung was just convinced by your Mom, for sure. Because technically, a Jung doesn't marry for convenience. They do it for passion, or love. As what you heard.

But It was like fate. The Jung INC had trouble keeping it, and your family's business was an asset. It was like a spoonful of blessings at once. And now, you and Jaehyun are married. In papers.

As foolish as it sounds, you got married. That night, you both agreed that you can both do whatever you want. In one condition, if you choose to be with another partner, you must be out of the public eye. It's a disgrace after all, for you and for the Jungs.

:)) to be released. stay tuned.

all rights reserved. idyllicallycharming. 122822.

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The glassses-AND CHOI FUCKING SEUNGCHEOL?!?!

JEONGHAN TO WONU TO COUPS IS AN ATTACK 🫠

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