A Distressing Solstice

A Distressing Solstice

a/n: For my lovely @icey--stars I hope you have a wonderful holiday and thank you to the amazing people at @acotargiftexchange for making this a thing!

w/c: 2000+

warnings: 🐱

masterlist

*****

Eris’s POV

Eris glanced in the full-body mirror one last time before taking a deep breath and praying to the Cauldron that nothing would go wrong. He was in a dark red vest that had black patterns covering a black shirt paired with black dress pants. It was the Winter Solstice and Azriel had invited him over to meet his family on good terms and to come clean about their not-so-secret secret relationship. Rhysand and Feyre had found out when catching the two lovers making out 30 minutes before a meeting. Surprisingly the High Lord and Lady had already suspected and was willing to hear them out. Lucien had also found out in a similar way, accidentally walking in on something he definitely never wanted to see again. Eris also knew Morrigan suspected because Azriel had dragged him halfway through Velaris to apologize and explain why he’d left her in the woods that day. If Mor knew, then all the females in the night court probably did as well. Really this was only for Cassian (because Amren always knows everything), the ‘poor oblivious Illyrian baby’ as Azriel liked to call him. Still, Eris’s nerves jangled nervously as he winnowed to the River House. Sparing a look at his watch, Eris realized he was fifteen minutes early. Oh well, couldn’t very well go back now… well he technically could…. Shaking the thought from his head he scanned his surroundings. Although he would deny it to the grave, the River House was as incredible as Az had told him. As he approached the house mansion, he glanced at the windows. Two silhouettes were too close to be casual. He smiled, happy for their love. Then, suddenly realizing one had giant wings, Eris froze, fearing what he was seeing. Creeping closer, he peered through the window focusing intently on the figure with wings. That same jet black hair. Oh no. It couldn’t be. Azriel would never. Eris’s face drained of all color as he saw his lover against the counter with Elain Archeron leaning forward to kiss him. Fire roared through his veins as his own heart broke at the sight and he thought of how devastated Lucien would be. Using every scrap of self control to not smash through the window and beat both Azriel and Elain up for their betrayal, Eris backed up. Indifferent mask falling into place as he watched their lips meet. He turned down the pathway and started the walk back to the unwarded areas. All while slamming up those steel walls in his heart and mind. Pushing his feelings into a teeny tiny box and once more becoming the High Lord. The High Lord that showed no mercy, no compassion, no joy, no love, nothing except cruelty. The High Lord he’d been before Azriel. When Eris reached the end of the wards, he looked back at the River House and without a single trace of emotion winnowed out.

***

Bright light greeted him along with the shocked face of his little brother. The day court. “Eris! I thought you were with Az?” Lucien’s slightly worried voice broke Eris’ facade of indifference. His body gave out and he dropped to his knees in the middle of Lucien’s cabin. “Eris?! What happened? What’d he do?” Eris chuckled. He loved his brother. In a weak voice he asked, “Why do you assume he did something?” “Because you’d never hurt him.” Lucien’s arms encircled him and Eris felt himself being lifted off the ground. “You love him. You would do anything for that shadowsinger. He doesn’t deserve it, but you’d still do it.” “I loved him.” The words were another stab into Eris’ heart as Lucien sat him down in an armchair. “No, you love him. You, of all people, can’t unlove in twenty minutes. I know you Eris. You’re blocking your feelings, making yourself feel nothing. It’s not healthy, you’ve got to at least have closure if you’re going to end it with Az.” Eris glared, hating that Lucien was right. His damned emissary training made him absurdly good with words. “So, I ask you again. What happened?” “Luci… Ela- Elain kissed him. Your mate kissed my mate.”

*****

Azriel’s POV

It was eleven, Eris was four hours late. He probably wasn’t even coming at this point. Azriel drained his wine, glancing towards the door once more before Feyre drew his attention. “Do you know where Elain is?” It was the fifth time the question had come up, all directed at him. “No.” He’d rejected Elain again after she’d forced herself on him. She’d pinned him between the kitchen counter and not willing to hurt her, he’d been helpless. But she’d kissed him and he knew he had to do something but his body froze. He’d shoved her off after a moment and harshly told her he didn’t want her. He’d never wanted her. She’d just been a placeholder while he tried to find someone who was right for him. And he’d found that someone. She’d run off crying. He glanced outside again and still no fiery red head. “Az?” Rhysand placed a present in front of him as he looked down and Azriel with a worried gaze. “You alright?” Azriel nodded at his brother before taking the present. Carefully unwrapping the squirrel and acorn wrapping paper, Az pulled out the present. It was a small box. When opened it was a heart locket the color of autumn leaves. Upon closer inspection Azriel noticed that the locket was broken in two. He opened one side; it had a picture of Eris staring at someone not shown with a heated, loving expression. Frowning, Azriel opened the other locket to fine a picture of him staring with the same expression at someone else. He smiled slightly, putting the lockets together to show a picture of the couple locked in a heated gaze. Looking up at Rhys, his eyes watered at the incredibly thoughtful present. “It’s lovely Rhys. I love it and I’m sure Eris would if he’d bothered to show up.” His voice turned bitter and he let a little bit of his pain show. Anger shown in his brothers eyes. “I can’t believe he stood us up. I thought he was good. Do you want to go find him?” “He is good. I’m not sure. Give it another hour, if he’s not here by then we’ll go see what happened.” Rhys nodded, smiling at his brother before moving back to Feyre’s side and tucking her into his side. Azriel’s heart clenched at the love his High Lord and Lady had. He wished for it, especially the mating bond. But it seemed the Mother had deemed him unworthy of even that. Barely minutes later, Rhysand was once again standing in front of him. “Screw it Az, let’s find that asshole.” His brother had that look on his face that said he wasn’t going to back down on this front. “Fine… just let him explain before murdering anyone.” Rhys’ grin was a slash of white, “I make no promises.” He grabbed Azriel by the shoulder and winnowed them out. The scent of fresh fallen leaves hit him and Az relaxed slightly. He opened the cabin door and stepped in, Rhys a step behind him. “Er?” No answer. “He’s not here Az. Hasn’t been for hours.” Azriel nodded, stepping back into his shadows and winnowing away. There was only one more place Eris could possibly be. Az felt a knock against his mental shields. “I wish to do this alone, Rhys.” “Then best of luck, brother.”

*****

Lucien’s POV

Lucien heard a light knock against his cabin door and sighed, already knowing who stood outside. He couldn’t believe Azriel had cheated on Eris with Elain. Of all people. He wanted to give up on Elain, to find someone who wanted him and cared enough to accept and use his damn gifts. But she was his mate and that string connecting them wasn’t so easy to block. Lucien disentangled himself from his sleeping brothers arms and silently crept toward the door. “He won’t want to see you.” Meeting Azriel’s hazel eyes he felt a surge of anger, especially at the very faint smell of jasmine and honey. The shadowsinger looked confused at Lucien’s words. “Why? What did I do?” Lucien’s brows pulled together slightly, was it possible that Eris had gotten it wrong? That the situation he’d seen wasn’t what it’d looked like? An unwanted flare of hope ran through his body. “You… where were you fifteen minutes before 7:00?” “Umm.” Realization dawned on Azriel’s face. “Kitchens. Oh. So, Eris was early and saw through the window when Elain kissed me and assumed that I was cheating on him?” Damn. He’d gotten it right away. “Yep. And now you can come in, explain you hopefully weren’t cheating on him and make it so I don’t have a brooding high lord in my getaway cabin?” “If you’d step out of the doorway.” His voice lowered to a whisper. “Do you think he’ll hear me out?” Fear and sadness laced his tone. Lucien shrugged elegantly, “good luck!” He needed wine, maybe he’d stop by the River House and take a few of Rhysand’s good bottles and be back in time to kick his brother out before he had sex with the shadowsinger in his bedroom, again.

*****

Eris’ POV

A hand shook him out of his sleep and he groaned, batting the hand away. Said hand grabbed his hand and pinned it to the bed. Said hand wasn’t just calloused like Lucien’s but also had scars. Burn scars. Eris shot up, suddenly wide awake as he looked to his side and was met with a pair of hazel eyes. “Azriel.” He jumped off the bed as the memories of why he was at his brothers cabin came back. Azriel had cheated on him! With Elain. His brothers mate! “Eris, please. Let me explain.” A hint of desperation sparked in his eyes. “No! You kissed her! You-“ “Eris!” Azriel cut him off, rounding the bed to stand in front of him. “She kissed me! I-“ “You kissed her back! You know how much she means to Lucien and you still kissed her back!” “Lordling.” Azriel pushed him onto the bed and hovered above him, pinning his wrists to the mattress. “She kissed me and it took me by surprise so I froze. If you’d only stayed and watched another five fucking seconds you would have seen me push her away and tell her I don’t want her.” Eris’ emotions spiked, “Of course I didn’t stay to watch my mate kiss another! It’d tear me apart!” Azriel stilled above him. “Mate?” That’s when the bond snapped for him and Eris felt the mating bond go taunt. Rushes of desperation, surprise and love flooded his side of the bond. “Mate.” The confirmation alone made the bond glow with life. He leaned up, even as Azriel still pinned him to the bed, placing a gentle kiss on his mates lips. “I’m sorry I ever doubted your loyalty to me… I just assumed the worst and I shouldn’t have.” Azriel’s eyes softened and his body relaxed as he let got of Eris’s wrists and collapsed on top of him. “I love you, lordling.” Azriel’s hands cupped his face and he kissed him passionately, letting the bond between them come to life with shared love. “I’m the high lord. Not a lordling.” Eris grumbled into Azriel’s chest. “But I love you too, shadow boy. A waterfall of ice cold water hit the couple and they both yelped jumping up and out of bed. Eris glowered at his grinning brother as he magically dried himself and Azriel. “You’ll pay for that, Luci.” He grabbed Azriel’s hand and started to drag him out of the cabin. “At least I won’t have the scent of your sex in my cabin for weeks again!” Azriel glanced at Eris, “That long?” Eris grinned nodding, “Longer.” He winnowed them to his own getaway cabin. “Now mate, where were we?”

*****

A/n: Thank you for making it through that… hopefully without any cringing!

taglist:

@thelov3lybookworm @stargirl1714

thank you @artists-ally for keeping me sane with promises of that one thing and suggesting a name for Az.

Undeniable Bonds

Azriel x F. Reader

Warnings: angst, as per usual. SPOILERS for other SJM series. Mentions of blood, descriptions of injuries, mentions of death, feelings. Not proof read.

Author’s note: Merry Christmas everyone! It took me MONTHS but is finally here, hope you like it. Sorry for making you wait for so long, life has been nothing short of chaotic. I'd like to thank @crazylokonugget , I read your comment. It was the rush of inspiration I needed to get back into writing. 

CHAPTER SIX 

The moon was shining big and bright above the night sky in the city, there was music being played by the river despite the chilling winds of the winter and laughter filled the air around The Rainbow. It all seemed so livid, so peaceful and merry in contrast with the emotional turmoil brewing in your insides. 

You were feeling everything at once, every single thing you had tried to keep concealed for centuries now was ready to combust. You felt confused, and angry, resentful, wary…and underneath it all naively hopeful. It would be a lie to say you had successfully gotten rid of your feelings towards Azriel, if anything all the awful things you've done to each other hurted all the more because of that. He was a friend once, and a good one. Gentle, caring, protective, used to actually enjoy the other's presence, go on walks during the nights when the world felt too heavy, just silently supporting each other. Shared laughs at stupid jokes played at Cass and Rhys, sneaking around while in other courts just for the fun of it, knowing no one would ever find you. You were a team. Until one day you weren’t, he just decided it wasn’t worthy and that was it.  

How were you supposed to open up to this person, when he hadn’t even seen the worst in you and deemed you unworthy? How could you ever trust him again? Yet, here you were, walking side by side next to the Sidra like the old times. You could punch yourself in the face just for considering this, every anxious trait screamed at you to leave, you didn’t owe him a single thing, didn’t have to explain anything. So why did you keep walking alongside him? 

“So…uhm,” He started, nervously scratching at his nape. Trying. He was trying to be open, didn’t hold up that mask of coldness to conceal his emotions, not once. “You and Lucien..?”

“None of your business.” you snapped out of instinct. 

He avoided looking directly at you, focusing on some distant light across the bridge. 

You let out a deep breath, this wasn’t going to work. 

“Just talk to him.” Amren’s voice rang in your head. Try. You had to try, you didn’t have to let him know much just…let the conversation flow, right?

“It was a long time ago, even before Amarantha..” you started, casting a sidelong glance at him.

He turned to you, features soft under the moonlight. Gods, he was unfairly beautiful when he wasn’t an ass. You fixed your sight on the river, if only to keep on track. “Nothing really happened, we were young and drunk at one of Tamlin’s masquerades, we made out and that was it.” 

He nodded slowly and cleared his throat, “And now?”

“Is this what you really want to talk about? He’s my friend, not that I owe you any explanation. Or is this your way to ask if Elain is available now?”

You couldn’t help it, the audacity of this male prying into your private life as if he hadn’t been lusting after Lucien’s mate of all people. Hypocrite doesn’t begin to cut it. 

“I don’t care about Elain, I care about you.” 

You wanted to laugh. “Since when? If I recall correctly you despised me until a week ago, you were either insulting me or just blatantly ignoring me in favor of her, or anyone else really. Then all goes to hell and suddenly I’m worth living for?!” 

He grimaced, “You– you remember that?”

You sighed tiredly and sat down on a bench overlooking the Sidra. “Yes, I remember. I just…I don’t understand you.” 

Azriel just stood there beside you, shifting his weight uncomfortably, not being quite sure what to do.  When he didn’t move or say anything you continued, “I want to believe you,” you swallowed around a lump “but do you hear how it sounds? After all we’ve been through. I trusted you and you threw that in my face, how do you expect me to believe that you care about me?” 

This wasn’t going as he was hoping for, but at least it was something. You were speaking to him more than two sentences, which was a lot more than he deserved to be honest. You could yell at him, curse him, punch him in the face if you wished and he would take it. No complaints. Anything if it meant you’d show him how you truly felt, he wasn’t sure he could endure your silence again, knowing how much he had hurt you. He needed you to let it all out, so he could do something to fix it. 

“I don’t expect you to believe me right away, of course not. I know that I have to earn your forgiveness and one day if I’m one lucky bastard I might earn your trust back once more. But I also know that even when I try to make things right you may not forgive me at all, and I’ll accept that too. Honestly? I just want to know how you feel with all that has happened. The only thing that matters now is you.”

You let out a shaky breath, turning away from him. “I don't know what I'm supposed to feel, everything is a mess.” 

He moved then, crouching in front of you and grasping both your hands on his own, making you look at him. The earnest way he was looking at you, the desperate feeling swimming in his eyes that traveled all the way through the bond. It made you gasp, with all that’s been going on you forgot to put a shield up. Now you could feel him, all of him, which meant  he could feel you. 

“I have no damn right to demand such mercy from you, but if for a single moment you find in your heart a spec of doubt, a small sign of will to forgive this coward for wronging you so unfairly, I just want you to know how sorry I am, for everything. I regret it all, I wish I could take it all back. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, until the day I part from this earth I will fight for you.” 

You were quite sure your bottom lip was trembling as much as his hands were, trying miserably to contain the unwelcomed tears pooling in your eyes. Those were such nice words, the silly part of you that always longed for his recognition wanted so desperately to believe, but there were still too many unresolved things, too many questions still running frantically through your head. And one recurrent thought…

“Did I really have to die for you to notice?”  Your words hung heavy in the air, with a mix of accusation and vulnerability.

Azriel, gaze intense and haunted, looked as if you had just punched a hole through his chest. In that moment, the shadows that bound him seemed to soften, and he confessed the truth that had long eluded you both. It wasn't the brush with death that made him take notice; it was the fear of losing you that shattered the carefully constructed barriers around his heart.

"No, it's not about noticing, it's about realizing what it means to lose you," he admitted, his voice a low, gravelly murmur. Azriel's jaw tightened, a small sign that betrayed the internal struggle within him. "It's not so simple. The thought of a world without your laughter, your presence....Losing you was the worst of my nightmares coming true. I've always cared, but I let my past dictate my actions, and I was cruel to you because I couldn't bear the thought of history repeating itself. But I was wrong, and I almost lost you because of it."

“What do you mean?”

You had unconsciously leaned in closer to him and he swallowed audibly at the intensity in your eyes —onyx black that sometimes showed swirls of violet and blue. Like lightning striking the midnight sky. They were a rare sight, a beautiful one, he knew that only happened when you felt too much. The telltale sign of the emotions you were so desperately trying to hold back from reaching him.  

“I will tell you everything you want to know, in time. I will lay my heart down for you to step on if you wish. But I believe that is a conversation on its own, I wish to explain everything to you and I don’t think I can do it tonight.” He looked almost pleading. “There’s nothing that can excuse the way I treated you, I’ve been a coward, and an asshole and you have every damn right to be angry with me, to hate me. That much I understand. I just hope you’d be willing to listen when the time’s right.” 

You supposed it was fair. It still made you uneasy and you pulled back a little, ignoring the hurt that flashed through his eyes. Given how strained your relationship was, you guessed it was normal he was still doubtful about sharing too much too soon. You weren’t that willing to particularly share much of yourself yet, if ever. 

Gods, you wished you could rage about everything that has happened, and hated the way his words had soothe an ache in your heart you were making an effort not to acknowledge. 

Time. It would take time to heal, and trust, and effort on both sides to make this work. Whatever this white flag he had weaved tonight meant. You knew it was the right call to make, for the sake of everyone, to try and make amends. That didn’t mean it was going to be easy, some things were too deeply engraved in your heart to let go. 

Did it make you a weak, spineless female to want to give in to him? What was the cost of it? 

“Alright,” you muttered, standing to your feet, Azriel followed you. “If I agree to do this, I’ll need you to be patient. I’m not ready yet to let you in, I still have my doubts about this. I think you understand why. But I want to try to be friends again, that’s as much as I can offer you right now.” 

Friends. That was a lot more than he had dared to ask for, even if in his heart he desired more. It wasn’t about him, nor his desires, it was about you and giving you what you need. So if what you needed from him was friendship, he’ll take it. Make the most of it. 

Azriel nodded, something sparkling to life in his eyes that wasn’t there before. The bond thrummed quietly with emotion. Hope. 

“One step at a time?” you offered, extending your hand to him. 

“One step at a time.” He repeated, taking your hand. 

It was awkward but welcomed, the feeling of something settling within your chest. The mating bond had been neglected for so long that the weight of it felt weird now, as if a missing limb had been spoken into existence. Azriel seemed to notice too, absentmindedly reaching his hand up to rub at his chest. 

You tried not to shudder when he gently tugged at it and opened your mouth to suggest keeping the ends closed for the time being. Unless until you were more comfortable with each other. It was way too intimate and overwhelming otherwise, and that you were not ready for yet. 

“Maybe we should–” you stopped as you felt something warm and thick dripping to your lips. Pressing two fingers to the spot and watching them stained red. Blood. 

Azriel quickly caught up to the movement, body stilling in alert.

“What's wrong?” he asked, stepping closer. 

“I don't know,” A strong pang shot too fast to your head making you gasp and causing you to fall forwards. Azriel’s arms instantly wrapped around your shoulders, holding you to him. His shadows were in a frenzy, surrounding you both while he inspected your face for any signs of injury. 

“Y/N? Talk to me, where does it hurt?” He sounded agitated. 

You could hear Azriel’s voice being muffled and muffled by the second, could feel his warmth and the firm press of his body against yours, but everything was quickly becoming a blurry image. Like some distant dream everything started to fade from sight, the whole scenery changing, twisting and re-adapting. 

Velaris had been replaced for a cold, dark room, the air thick and musty. The sound of crashing waves filling the otherwise silent space. Rusty chains hung wicked and ancient from the stone walls, an iron coffin sitting vacant across from you, open and expectantly waiting for its occupier. You couldn’t move a single muscle, only stare through eyes that were not yours, scent with a foreign nose, the smell of fear, and blood, and immense sadness. 

You blinked twice — or rather this…person whose mind seemed blending with yours did— and gazed down to gauntlet-covered hands. Iron, yet again. There was a slight tremble to this other body, a female’s body, from pain so deep from within her guts and the fire blazing underneath, it rose and rose and rose, flaring until it was pushed down and forced to remain still.

She looked up again, to the lone white wolf lying a few feet away, already watching her. The animal tilted his head to the side as if in contemplation and blinked three times. 

“Are you okay?”

—----------------------------------------------

Sound was the first thing to return to you, hurried, hissing voices coming from somewhere around you. 

“I swear on the Cauldron I'll have their heads on spikes as ornamentations for your throne.”  A low, deep growl laced with intent. You recognized Azriel’s baritone voice from beside you. 

Violet and blue-ish gray greeted you when you finally opened your eyes, immediately recognizing the Town’s House living room.

What in hell had that been? It occurred to you that you had dreamed about her before, the female, recognized the same lemon verbena and crackling embers scent from previous dreams, although never catching a full look at her. Who was she? Was she in danger? Was this a warning? 

Frowning you propped up to your elbows to sit, back resting against the couch’s armrest. Feyre gave you a soft smile, sitting down next to your legs. 

“How are you feeling?” She asked, worry staining her features. 

“I'm fine, just a little dizzy.” You craned your neck back to look at the male standing behind the couch, one of his shadows slipping away to caress your cheek before returning to his master. “What happened?” 

Azriel's honey gaze settled upon you, shoulders sagging a bit from relief at the sight of you awake. “You were unconscious for a few minutes, I flew us back here and called Rhys. I didn't know what to do. Are you sure you're ok?” 

“Yeah, I'm alright. Thank you.” You tried to smile softly but barely managed to slightly lift the corners of your mouth. He nodded, unconvinced. After a moment to cringe, you added, “Whose head are we having on spikes?” 

Silence. 

Rhys cleared his throat. “Your brother’s and Damien’s.” Suddenly the room’s temperature dropped. Feyre shifted uncomfortably in her place. We hadn’t openly discussed the situation yet. “If this is a side effect of whatever they did to you, we need to find the–” 

“It 's not.” you interrupted him. 

It wasn't like you didn't want to find them and finish what had started two centuries ago. But it was your fight, you didn't wish to trouble your family with it. Didn't want Rhys particularly involved out of anyone, he was the reason they came back. Albeit unbeknownst to him. They still lusted after his crown, his throne, they wanted vengeance. Your blood as well as his. 

Azriel stared at you, contemplative. You could sense he wanted to ask more but was debating whether it was pushing a boundary or not. It was all new to the two of you, too fresh to know what was appropriate. 

Fidgeting with your entwined fingers on your lap, you decided to offer some truth. Even if they didn't believe you, even if it sounded crazy. 

“This has happened to me my whole life. It doesn't always knock me unconscious, most of the time it's just dreams.” 

Rhys frowned but it was Azriel who asked, “What sort of dreams are those?” 

“I can't fully explain because most of the time I don't understand them. But it is almost like my mind goes somewhere else, like I share one consciousness with another. A female. Though I haven’t figured that out until tonight. I've seen scraps of her mind, and the places She's been, but I don't know her face.” 

You could practically see the engines in Feyre’s mind working.  She had stayed silent for most of the interaction, paying careful attention to each word. 

“And what happened in this…dream? What did you see?” asked Rhys this time. 

“Not much, she seemed to be in some sort of mausoleum? It was barely lit, few candles here and there. It had to be some isolated place next to the sea, I could hear waves crashing against rock. The air was thick and musty. There was a wolf with her.” 

“Do you think it is possible you're dreaming about someone in the Summer Court?” Azriel caught your attention once more. 

“I don't know, could be. But it feels off. There were chains on the walls…and an iron coffin. But she was alive, I think. Maybe she’s a prisoner?” You turned to Feyre then. “You’ve been there when stealing the Book of Breathings, does this sound familiar? Some place you may have seen?” 

She shook her head. “No it doesn't. That doesn't mean it does not exist, I didn't get to see much of the Summer Court. But why would Tarquin keep an iron coffin?” 

You sighed, rubbing your temples. “I don't know, it doesn't make sense. Why would I be dreaming of a female in the Summer Court? How do I relate to that?” 

“What if they're not dreams, per say, but visions? Like Elain's…” she pursed her lips, deep in thought. 

Azriel tensed beside me, I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. I hadn't seen Elain around that much after Solstice night, coming to think of it. Does he think it's my fault? 

“Hadn't thought of it that way. Honestly, I read too much, since I was a kid. I was convinced my mind made it all up until it started to happen during day time. But either way, I don't think this is the case. I mean, nothing that I dreamt of has happened, and if it did, it didn't involve any of us. So we have no way of knowing about it.” 

“It still bugs me. There has to be some explanation to it. It clearly affects you, I don't believe it's normal that these dreams cause you nosebleeds and make you pass out. What if it gets worse?” Rhys pointed out. 

“Beats me. I know as much as you do.” 

“We’ll have to look into it. Whatever this is, and whoever that person may be. Is there something else you remember?” Azriel's brows were pulled together tightly, but his eyes were gentle when he settled them upon me. 

“I just…one time I recall feeling her, here in Velaris. I — she— saw you two.” You pointed to your high lord and lady. Rhys stilled. “But it was like she was falling from the sky, or rather falling through. You were pregnant with little Nyx.” You told Feyre and turned your head to look at Azriel. “I don't remember much about it. I must have passed out, you found me in the hallway shortly after.” 

Azriel gave a tense nod. “I remember you lying face down on the top of the stairs, your books thrown all over the place. Your nose wasn't bleeding though, I thought you were drunk.” he said apologetically.  

I shrugged. “You didn't know, and I couldn't explain either.” 

“If this is a person that's been here without us knowing, then we must start to investigate immediately.” Rhys cut in. 

“But where do we start?” I asked. 

“I'll see if the wards of Velaris had been tampered with, for starters. Maybe we can find some imprint of magic. In the meantime I’d say you learn about bonds and connections, how they work, check your mental shields. If you have access to her mind then there's a possibility she has access to yours, there has to be a link somewhere.” 

“Alright, I'll start to look into it right away. There has to be something in the library about mental connections.” 

“You should rest now.” Azriel placed a hand on my shoulder. “I'll help with the research tomorrow. We can go to the library after training the Valkyries. If that's okay with you.” 

You nodded and relaxed a little. Ignoring the warmth that his touch had spread across your back. 

“Yeah, it's fine. Tomorrow then.” 

—---------------------------------------------------

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uhhh sorryyy

I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT DORIAN WAS A SHADOW WIELDING MAN. I FORGOT HIM IN MY 3 SHADOW BOY FIC….! IT SHOULD BE 4 SHADOW BOYS!

not to get your hopes high or anything, but im cooking up a rhysie fluff/reunion fic to make up for all the awful rhysie in remember me 😉

(YO JUST AS I WAS WRITING THIS AN IDEA SNUCK UP ON ME OHMYGODDDDD)

So, about that idea i wrote up there, do we want this comfort fic to be a new reader or the reader in the remember me universe in an alternate universe where rhysie and feyre never end up together?

Home Late (Azriel x reader)

A/n: something... i will update one day

i was gonna do this with Lucien due to @thelov3lybookworm but I wasn't sure it'd work well with him so... here we are (also back to second person)

wc: 768

⚠️: uh... Az? angst ig but that usually happens

masterlist

*****

You wave goodbye to Jess as he winnows away. You've been gone for hours planning a surprise birthday party for your boyfriend, Azriel. His birthday was next week and he hadn't had a party in his whole century of living. You open the door to your shared townhouse and grin at the memory of the dazzling blue dress you'd picked out. You wave goodbye to Jess as he winnows away. You've been gone for hours planning a surprise birthday party for your boyfriend, Azriel. His birthday was next week and he hadn't had a party in his whole century of living. You open the door to your shared townhouse and grin at the memory of the dazzling blue dress you'd picked out.

"Azzzzz?"

Silence follows your cheerful shout and you head down the hallway with a slight frown. You find Azriel in his study, bent of a pile of papers.

"Hey Azzie!" You smile as you lean against the doorway but your smile quickly drops into a pout when Az ignores you.

"Az?"

He doesn't even blink.

You approach your boyfriend nervously and tap him on the shoulder. You know he sometimes gets into work phases and works for hours on end without food or sleep.

"Azriel? Have you eaten?"

He turns around so sharply that you step back. Your brows furrow. His eyes are hard and steely and show no emotion other than anger.

"No, I haven't eaten! And you know why?" His voice rises to a shout. "I spent hours, hours panicking over where you were! I almost sent out a damned search party to find you!"

"I-"

Az cuts you off. "You were gone for twelve hours!!" He prowls toward you, eyes narrowed in anger.

You pale, stepping back. You've never been afraid of Azriel but.... "I was out with Jess."

His muscles clench. Shit. Wrong thing to say, he hates Jess. "And you didn't bother to tell me?"

"You would have had a shadow follow me." You look down, the floor suddenly very interesting.

"How's that a problem? You've never had a problem with that before!"

"But-"

"But what!!?" His voice rises to a shout.

"But you'd know!"

He stills. "Know what!?"

"Um... it's a surprise." You didn't want to tell him about the surprise party. It is a surprise party after all.

Azriel's voice is resigned and betrayed when he next speaks, "Are you cheating on me?"

Your mouth falls open. "No! I would never!"

"Then what can't I know?" His voice rises again and shadows swirl around him in a frenzy. You step back and your back hits the wall. His eyes glow with a feral emotion that you can't place as he approaches.

"Az..."

He places a hand on either side of you, effectively caging you in. He leans in to whisper in your ear.

"Did you fuck him?"

"I wasn't cheating on you!!" Your voice rises now.

"Then what in the Cauldrens name were you doing??" He pins one of your wrists to the wall when you try to push him away. Azriel brings his face close to yours. "What. Were. You. Doing?"

His grip on your wrist hurt and you know you'll have bruises. "Throwing you a damn surprise party, that's what!!"

Azriel stares at you and his scowl immediately melts off his face. "Oh darling, I'm so fucking sorry." He steps back. A look of shame and pain etched on his face as he stares at the ground.

You step forward hesitantly. "Az..."

He laughs slightly. "I've lost track how many times you've said that. I'm sorry Y/n, I'll go."

"No! Why would you go?"

"I never deserved you." He starts to turn away.

You snatch at his arm, wrapping your arms around him. "I love you Az. Nothing you did tonight can possibly change that. Except for maybe over working."

He chuckles into your hair. "I love you too."

"But you know... if you really want me to forgive you." A smirk decorates your face. "You could sing for me?"

Despite the many times you've asked, begged, and used your puppy eyes to get him to sing. Azriel has never sung.

He groans. "Just like you to guilt trip me."

***

A week later

"You look beautiful!" Morrigan grins as she circles around your body.

"Are you-"

"Yes! Go! Have fun, knock Az of his feet!" She pushes you out the door and locks it behind you.

"Rude." You mutter.

"Y/n..."

You turn around at your boyfriend's voice. "Az!" He stares at you as you run towards him.

You trip over air and start fall. Azriel jumps forward and catches you. "Y/n! Are you alright?"

You look up at him meeting his eyes. "Thanks-"

A snap sounds in you ears and you and Azriel stare at eachother. You follow the golden thread connected to your soul and tug. Azriel jerks towards you. "You- my- mate."

You lean up and kiss him. "My mate. Happy 589th birthday!"

tagging:

@profound-imagination @stargirl1714

someone give me angst, angst, angst. Like the most heartbreaking angst you’ve ever read with or without a happy ending. Something that made you cry! Please?

With: Acotar characters, TOG characters, CC characters, Harry Potter characters, fourth wing characters… anything..