( EVIE )

✗ ( EVIE )

“No, what I want more than anything in the world right now is to hop a train to Crawely and sleep for a bloody week, Jacob!” It came out far louder than she’d intended—almost a shout. “But I can’t! If we leave for even one day we risk losing all the ground we’ve gained. How many reinforcements might slip in while we were gone—do you want to have to start picking them off all over again? They’ll be better prepared this time around—forewarned is forearmed. It will be ten times harder because you’ve got them scared—they know you’re after them—when a hound is cornered its dangerous, remember?”

She realized a moment too late that quoting their father probably wasn’t the best idea; groaning, she rubbed her temples to try and relieve the ache in her head. “Henry has absolutely nothing to do with this, and the fact of the matter is he’s bloody useless in the field. I have no idea how he passed his blooding—he can’t do anything other than research and network.”

It was the first time she’d voiced her unease regarding the man; her feelings for Henry Green were a confusing, muddled mess—one she couldn’t even attempt begin to untangle until she had time take a step back from the situation and examine it properly. That wasn’t likely to happen any time soon—she simply kept shoving it aside, storing it away to be analyzed at a later date.

“I know you don’t think the artifact is important—but it is. I have a gut feeling that if Starrick gets it before we do… it will be bad, Jacob.” She shook her head, risking a glance in his direction—wanting to tell him it was his help she needed, but suspecting he’d respond with rolled eyes and a scoff. “Regardless, the ever growing list of problems is just one more reason we have to finish the mission before we can focus on anything  else. I believe you’re the one who reminded me about the ‘no distractions’ rule, aren’t you?”

Her brow wrinkled, eyes dropping to the floor—the surge of strong emotions and the accompanying argument leaving her more weary than she’d been before;  from the moment they’d set foot in the city, sleep had been elusive and hard to come by—she was nearing the point of outright exhaustion.   “I’m just… I’m so tired, Jacob. I haven’t had a good nights sleep since the night before our blooding. Maybe that’s why I’ve been so cross and ill tempered. I don’t mean to carp at you… really I don’t.”

♖— Her shout actually made him jump, but he quickly recovered. There had been a time he knew Evie better than he knew himself -- could that possibly still be the case? Maybe, maybe if he tried -- if he took a risk he could make some headway. When she continued he barely noticed her quoting their father because in the end -- she sounded like she thought he had made more than a mess, she thought he made a difference. That in itself was enough to give him enough hope for him to give a little.

♖— “ I could have told you that.” He teased in a soft, hoarse tone when she mentioned that Greenie was useless in the field.” Just looking at him I could tell he did not have the stomach for this life.” He murmured as he watched her closely, ignoring the comment about the artifact for the moment - he was only now realizing how tired she truly looked. He had slept a couple nights after he had drunk himself into a stupor -- but most nights he had been out in the streets until the break of dawn. He knew why his nights were restless and when she said that she hadn’t slept well since before they're blooding..... The night before had been their last night in their old room, the one they had slept in for 14 years but even more dramatic was the fact that their time in London had been the first time they had not shared a bed -- well he guessed since their mother's womb.

♖— “ That’s it.” He threw his hands in the air and pulled off his jacket, throwing it on the chair before he got onto her tiny bed -- it really was pathetic. Once he settled himself against the headboard, he beckoned her over.” We can continue this conversation after you get some sleep.” He said as he gave her a look that said he was not going to take no for an answer.” Get some sleep, and we will talk about your bloody relic.” He grumbled.

▌ ▌ BEFORE I’D LOSE YOU. - @BOOKSANDBLADES

✗ ( EVIE )

▌ ▌ Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath. - @brassandbrawls

‘Unleashing angry words is never wise—though they may be forgiven, they’re not easily forgotten.’

How many times had Father preached that lesson? The number was countless; it had been one of his preferred methods of hammering home the importance of remaining detached— a logical example of the burden that accompanied detrimental feelings and emotion.

And yet, she’d done just that—she’d let her anger gain the upper hand and it had loosened her tongue at the very moment she should have held it still. Chastising Jacob for ignoring Father’s methods whilst doing the exact same thing she accused him of was nothing less than hypocrisy at its finest.

She paced, her steps never venturing too near him—giving them both ample space to bristle with minimal chance of escalation. What she wanted more than anything was to swallow the words she’d spewed out so thoughtlessly, erasing them from existence, but as always, Father had been right; judging by the expression on her twin’s face, she’d cut him to the core—forgiveness might be quick,  but it would be a very long time before he forgot how she’d wounded him.

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♖— He could hear her heeled boots on the hard floor of the car, she was pacing, that was what she always did when she couldn't figure something out -- when she didn’t know a solution. However, his head was currently under his hands as he tried to pull back his own mess of emotions because deep down -- he didn’t want to yell at her anymore.

♖—  Then she brought up Fuckin Greenie, okay no he had been the one who had mentioned him first --- but what the hell did she mean he had nothing to do with this? Following her around with those god damn puppy eyes - he had bloody everything to do with it!” I am being ridiculous? You have spent basically all of your time with him since we got here! Doing your bloody research.” He said as his head snapped up, fire burning behind chocolate brown eyes.” You want to know how I feel about them? I feel like they are probably dangerous and deserve to be tossed in the damn ocean. Also, I am the one making a mess? Where is the key Evie? You know the one you found the directions too in the house of an Assassin -- by using a sight that possibly only a handful if not simply two people have?” He said hoping that she was getting his point. If she hadn’t gone looking for that damn key it was likey Starrick and Lucy would have never been able to get to it.

♖—  “ Also, another thing to keep in mind? No matter how many times you or father gave me those glares -- or how many times I simply couldn’t pay attention. I still would have you read all about them to me whenever you found new information. I tried -- but I guess It wasn’t hard enough. So what I think of them? They should stay fucking gone, I mean that one in the lab nearly killed you! Would I help you find them if you asked? I thought I had proved I was prepared to follow you into hell if need be. I guess I was wrong.” With that his anger cooled for a moment, giving way to depression as he stared in front of him but seeing nothing.” Wouldn’t blame you if you preferred his company... he is more of the bookish type - I never could hold still long enough.” He whispered, his voice sounding defeated.

♖—  “ Wait.. what?!” He said as he got to his feet, what the bloody hell had Freddy told her? He depression being pushed back once again to give into his anger.” What plates? I did exactly as Abberline told me! My job was to take out twopenny who was in the midst of robbing the bank and get out -- that is what I did.”He said in a low growl as he took a few steps toward her.” I also had planned to go back and check on the bus situation. Also, that Attaway woman? Had planned to give Starrick a train full of combustion engines. Do you know how much of a leg that would have given him? So I took her out, and I had planned to send some lads to guard the men.” He said in a low whisper as he stared into her eyes -- his own a mixture of anger, betrayal, and heartbreak.” Asked for your help? Would I do this after you made me feel like a fool -- or after you asked for mine?”

▌ ▌ let us take it back before it all went wrong. - @booksandblades​

✗ ( EVIE )

She’d forgotten the way his smile made her feel.

Not the aggravation it stirred of late, or the frustration that welled up over his easygoing ways and disposition—those negative feelings went hand in hand with London and all that they’d been through in the city. No, what she’d forgotten was the way his smile made her feel before—when it had affected her in an altogether different way entirely.

In Crawley, Jacob’s smile had been like his laugh—bright and infectious. That smile was like a stray sunbeam on a cloudy day—she’d basked in its glow, reveling in the way it could chase even the gloomiest thoughts away. It had filled her with warmth and happiness no matter how sour her mood.

That was what she’d forgotten, but standing there, with him smiling and stroking her cheek… she felt it again. Right in the pit of her stomach—accompanied by the familiar flutter that had disappeared for a while. So strong it made her breath catch in her throat and her cheeks heat just a little. She would have gladly stood there for hours, reveling in the feeling, however, when he spoke, his words reminded her where they were and what they were supposed to be doing; the warm fuzzy feelings vanished in the blink of an eye.

She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment, dreading the thought of going back to the train—frustrated by the loss of the momentary happiness. Desperate to have it back again. A pang of homesickness hit her hard, right in the middle of her chest. She wanted to go home, even if just for a day or two—back to the place where the happiness had always been.

With that thought echoing through her head, she made her decision.

“I’m not going back to the train, Jacob. I’m going home, to Crawley.” She gazed down at her boots, half-afraid to meet his eye for fear of seeing reproach at her selfish decision. “Just for a few days—I need to get my head on straight. I can’t do that here in the city—I’ve tried, but to no avail.”

♖— The moment he spoke -- part of him wished he hadn’t because the moment the words left his mouth he felt whatever little bubble they had fashioned themselves burst as real life once again came crashing down on them. Though he knew if he hadn’t they probably would have had to explain themselves to the police -- not to mention allot of running and possibly more killing. He had accepted that he enjoyed killing, but he did have pause when it came to taking the life of an officer.

♖— He had just moved to grappling up the side of the building, knowing if he didn’t soon he wouldn’t be able to walk away from her when she spoke, and he stopped. Had he heard her right? She wanted to go back to Crawley? He turned back and had to fight back another smile at how she seemed to be staring at her boots in shame -- she used to always do that when she had been afraid of a reprimand from their father or that he would be cross with her. He understood why she needed to go back, get in touch with what she seemed to have lost but there were two things he didn't get. Why she expected him to be angry, and why she didn’t expect him to come.

♖— Repeating his earlier gesture, he walked over and lifted her chin to make her meet his eyes once again, amused smile still on his lips.” There you go again -- expecting judgment where there is none.” This time he was the one who shifted his hand to her cheek.” Give me a few hours? I need to put some precautions in place with the lads -- after that, we will go home.”

▌ ▌ if i wanted to go, i would have gone by now. - @booksandblades

Send “Hold still!” to find my muse injured.

Or “That hurts!” for mine to find yours.