Words Escape Me, There Is Not A Word Nor Phrase Profound Enough To Describe A Fraction Of The Love I

Words escape me, there is not a word nor phrase profound enough to describe a fraction of the love I have for you.

The pisces urge to stop by the train station tomorrow and get back to the office.

the Gemini urge to eat shit and die

We could never very well express our feelings so I have resulted to stealing quick glances from across the room. I am ever the indulgent person so I might have spared a couple of extra seconds but, in my defense how could one not want to savor the essence of the being before me for just a little while longer.

Thick brown hair cascades over his forehead like ocean waves which leads my gaze to the pair of sage green and walnut colored eyes I’ve become so infatuated with. I adore those soulful green eyes, and it burns me that they might not ever be able to openly adore me too.

It makes me wonder if your lover tells you she adores your eyes or that the pretty scar on your cheek is not a reminder of a failure but a testament of your dedication to your loved ones. I wonder if she knows your still having trouble sleeping at night due to those deep dark circles underneath your eyes or if your night terrors are back. I wonder if she knows your sister relapsed and your trying to put her through rehab again. I wonder if she realizes all you do to accommodate her lifestyle including severing ties with your mom. I wonder if she cares that a part of you dies every time she breaks up with you. I wonder if she realizes the power that she has over you, or if she’s aware and abuses it anyway. I wonder if she truly makes you happy or are you just to weak and worn down to break the pattern. I wonder if the words you said to me were still true, do you love me like I love you?

I must have been staring to long because when I come back to focus from my thoughts those pretty pink lips of his are quirked up in a devilish smirk directed right at me, I had been caught. Despite looking dead tired he seems to have enough energy reserved to tease me so he must be doing well.

I gently nod slightly embarrassed in acknowledgment that I had been caught and turned my focus back to the task at hand, but I can’t help but notice that I had not lost his gaze on me.

I hope black girls with depression have a good day today.

In the dark right now,

feel lost but I like it,

comfort in my sins

Fuck me with the lights on baby, I want you to see my madness.