Chris Felt Fat. Maybe He Was On Organic Overload. Until He Was Sure, Eggs Were Officially Back In The

Chris felt fat. Maybe he was on organic overload. Until he was sure, eggs were officially back in the ‘bad’ court along with all the other flip flop foods.

Chris then wondered if eggs were included in the ban on thongs at the beach. Eggs were not explicitly mentioned on the sign. Then again, in this time and age ANYTHING could b explicit. U can’t even sneeze!

..Wait! Was THAT Y Chris felt fat?!? Looking back, Chris hadn’t sneezed once during the whole pandemic. He wasn’t like Brad who snotted every time he laughed really hard.

Ok. He’d def text Brad to c if FTD delivered. First, he needed 2 ask Siri if there were still enough bees 2 make flowers.

AT&T’s notorious phone trees put Brad into overload. In a world where time is money, how are these still legal?

With their blog still market explicit, Brad and Chris’ rub a dub dub photo mix stunt seemed to only highlight their dirty minds not clean them.

Two weeks later, It would dawn on Brad brains were like cats. Neither could handle water. If only he could lick his brain. Then he could imagine clean exotic Tumblr-friendly things like crisp linens and liquid origami.

To his credit, Brad did sport liquid shorts… and who doesn’t secretly loathe linen?!?

Pretending to know how to wrestle ranked just below turkey and naturally turkey-flavored foods as the #2 source of Brad’s many unintended siestas.

Luckily, hitting his head on the bunk bed dropped to number three when Brad moved in with Chris. The doctor expects this to slide even further in the ranks so long as Brad doesn’t keep going home for mediocre holidays.

Chris 2 Brad - Stop texting sexy pix. I'm ur bf. I'm NOT gonna buy Sfera coffee/Armani undies. Plz ...show sum self respect/common curtesy. Post ur nearly nude bod 4 EVERYONE 2 C. Ok?!? Not 2 me. Sell yourself OUT. Remember what Suze says; $$$ 1st. Then honey if you have one and if not exploit more bees and pass it off as women’s lib. Prioritize. Don’t want 2 worry bout u.

Brad and Chris were SOOOO over the reflective lighting. 8 PA’s holding those silvery things seemed excessive.

Chris said even Slim Shady didn’t stand a chance here. Brad had two M&M’s melt in his hand. That’s when Brad asked Chris if M&M’s came in black and white.

The director, Shirley, cut in immediately. “Brad. They DON’T. Why don’t u go wash your hands OK?”

(Talking to herself) GOOD LORD.

“Ok. Take five people. Brad’s washing his hands…. With soap. You hear me Brad?!? One solid minute WITH SOAP. Will someone ensure he gets Siri on the timer…. Please.”

Shirley would ask for a raise that afternoon.