When I Talk About Visible Autism On My Blog, Im Usually Not Talking About Those Who Are Clocked As Quirky

When I talk about visible autism on my blog, I’m usually not talking about those who are clocked as quirky and weird. Although that’s completely valid, I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about those of us who are VISIBLY autistic. Those of us who are clocked as those autistics. Who are clocked immediately as having something wrong with them. Those of us who are named as slurs. Who are yelled at. Who are attacked. Who are glared at, pointed at, stared at, pitied. Those of us who are automatically assumed to be with caregivers. Those of us you see talked about in medical journals and on the news as “inspiration” when we graduate or get invited to prom.

This is us. This is who we’re marked as. This is who we are seen as. We are seen as less than, as animals, as objects, as “inspirations”. When we accomplish something it’s usually not seen as our accomplishments but as the accomplishments of our caregivers and support staff.

I get so mad when someone comes onto my blog, MY blog. Me. A visibly autistic, nonverbal person, and doesn’t even look at my tags or pinned post and says “Omg me too, I’m seen as quirky and awkward, I’m visibly autistic 🥰” and like…go you but I’m not talking about you. I’m not talking about “low masking”. Im talking about LOW masking. No masking or very very low masking. Those of us who are immediately seen as autistic.

And it’s frustrating. It’s frustrating when people come into my blog and say this because, you DON’T get it. You just don’t. You don’t get what my life is like, what my experiences are. What it’s like to be LOW masking or no masking. You don’t get that. And yet you try and squeeze yourself in. And that hurts. It hurts to have people who won’t ever understand this squeeze themselves in. Stop doing this.

Relistening to Nightvale only to realize I am in fact waiting for the bus, and it is in fact raining.

person from the binder question! just wanted to ask if it’s possible to wear a tank top and wear a binder like is it really obvious

That entirely depends on what you’re looking for. It depends on the binder and the top, but generally, I don’t want to lie here, it’s going to show. If your binder straps are thin enough and the tank straps wide enough, maybe you can hide it, but unfortunately, it’ll usually be at least semi visible.

I used to get really worried about this and didn’t wear tank tops at all the past two summers cause I was self conscious. I luckily have gotten to a point in my transition where I feel confident enough to not be passing all the time, and I’ve built up a mindset of “showing off your binder is hot as hell” (which I stand by), and so I wear mine where they’re visible a lot, but I 100% get the feeling of wanting to hide it, either for safety or dysphoria, which is also totally valid.

Sports bras are probably going to be a lot easier to hide than most binders. I have one with pretty thin straps, but I know they’re generally thicker. So yeah, it’s possible depending on the shirts, but it is probably gonna be hard unfortunately.

As always, bind safely and remember that you’re valid and doing amazing!

Straight people have the YMCA

Gay people have Hot To Go

Hello this is a really dumb question about binding so please don’t answer if you’re not comfortable

Basically, I’m a trans guy and I cannot get a binder at the moment. I’ve heard DIY binders can be very dangerous, but I made this thing that works as one. I am able to breathe and it’s even comfortable, I don’t think it’s causing me any “bad pressure” or even pain? I’m just wondering about safety if you have any insight into how safe this is

That would definitely depend on how you’re binding. Even if there are no noticeable bad pressure or breathing problems, breathing and back issues can be a serious problem with improper binding. So please, please, please do lots of research and if you notice any signs of hurt or bruising or breathing hindrance, try a different route.

Now, I’m no expert as far as the health concerns, and I would definitely do some more research, but I can definitely share my pre-official-binder advice.

My number one thing is wearing baggy clothing, that was my go to. Even still is on days that I’m not binding.

Sports bras are also a really good alternative. Obviously, that is also subjective to chest size as well, but at the very least, sports bras compress your chest more and tend to help flatten. Sports bras labeled “no bounce” tend to be more sturdy, and some people will even layer sports bras to help flatten more (just not too many as to be uncomfortable or harmful). Do not buy a sports bra that is too small. I know chest dysphoria is a bitch, but it’s not worth hurting yourself for.

Sports bras and baggy clothing were my go-tos, but some others I’ve heard are camisoles and pantyhose. I can’t testify to either, I don’t like the texture of pantyhose and camisoles are really uncomfortable for me, but those are some you could look into. Some people can also get away with lighter compression tops, I know Target had some swim one last pride month, but that’s kind of a gray area and will depend on the situation. I’ve also never worn one, so I don’t know how well they work.

I know most people know this anyway, but avoid bandaging or duct-taping your chest. It may be tempting sometimes, and it may not seem like that bad of an option, but these things are not meant to be around your chest that tight. You’re putting your ribs and your lungs at a big risk (and your skin if you are using duct tape).

As with any binding technique, do not bind for over 8 hours or sleep in a binder/binder substitute. If you plan on heavy or even moderate activity or exercise, it’s best to stick with a sports bra (even if you have an official binder). Don’t try to go tighter or combine methods if you aren’t getting the results you want. I know that body dysphoria is really hard, but you can’t go putting your body in danger, possibly permanently.

Like I said, I’m no professional, this is just stuff I have learned over the years from my own experiences, friends, and various videos and posts. I heavily recommend additional research to stay safe. As always, bind safely, and don’t be afraid to ask me anything more.

To other people, I’m sure I missed things, don’t be afraid to add in comments and reblogs!

This post is what I mean when I say that people on tumblr will misinterpret trans men’s posts to demonize us

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The post op is referring to is one of a trans man talking about how trans masculinity specifically is demonized and how people dehumanize trans men. How trans men are treated differently than cis men. How people see trans masculinity as something horrible, evil, and threatening in a way they don’t with cis masculinity.

This happens both with cis women and cis men. I’ve had cis men treat me as a threat, as a monster, because I was a trans man. My masculinity and manhood is seen as something wrong - different - because I’m trans.

To see a post of a trans man begging to be seen as human, begging to not be seen as a monster for being himself and responding with “this is what we mean when we say trans men refuse to give up womanhood.” And saying that being dehumanized and demonized is just something we signed up for? That’s messed up. This trans man doesn’t want anything to do with womanhood - he’s asking to be treated as a person. You assuming any trans man asking to be treated as a person by cis people is just refusing to ‘separate themselves from womanhood’ is so fucked up.

To assume that he was forcing himself into women’s spaces, and that’s why he is being dehumanized and demonized (it’s not this happens in all queer spaces) - so therefore the transphobia he faces is his fault is fucked up.

This isn’t people ‘treating him like a Man’ - because many trans men can tell you we are dehumanized and demonized for our manhood and masculinity in ways cis men aren’t. This is transphobes seeing a trans person and treating them as a threat because they are trans in a way they can’t ignore.

Some of y’all on this website have no sympathy for trans men and assume that all transphobia we face is our fault.