Heres A Very Personal Track Ive Been Working On For A While. Itscalled Messages And I Really Hope You

Here’s a very personal track I’ve been working on for a while. It’s called “Messages” and I really hope you like it. Thanks.

how to be a winner

being a human is kinda dumb because we get to REASON and THINK HARD which really isn’t fair, i’d rather be an orchid and eat light beams all day, no offense to the miracle that is evolution, like, thanks for the opportunity to participate in an advanced society but put me in the ground 

Why does Chris Christie sound like a teenage girl in 2004 telling someone to “talk to the hand"

“I Like Hanging Out With Guys Because There’s Less Drama.”

Translation: whenever I spend time with my female friends, we always end up doing an unabridged reading of Hamlet, and I’m salty because they always make me play Polonius.