"But I Wanted To

"But i wanted to

with Idia Shroud"

It was so peculiar, the way that any time you'd mention something you enjoyed or whatever piqued your interest. You'd be in a rush to class in the mornings and nearly trip over whatever it was your heart seemed to desire at a given moment.

There was never a sign given or offered for who this generous sender was. You were never able to thank them for their kindness, but they did know. All too well.

Any time you'd barge into his room and flop into his bed after dodging the messy floor, he'd have a wicked grin. Idia Shroud was a good friend of yours, because despite all his talks of hating "normies," he seemed to tolerate you most of all.

But this time, it was differently delivered, unbeknownst to him. After hearing your sorrowful tale of how you can't handle the thought of this person never talking to you genuinely, he couldn't help but indulge in your wishes.

As he finished trying to write his neatest on the paper, Ortho entered his space. His darling little brother offered to deliver it and who was he to object the chance to lay back this time?

But Ortho did have a plan. He couldn't endure the pain of you each keeping your feelings hidden deep out of fear. So he'd assist in speeding up the process!

When you barged in this time, you didn't flop into his bed. Instead you just closed the door and stood there for a few moments until he spun his chair around. "So uhhh- why are you just-?'"

"You like me?" His heart dropped instantly. Confidence meter down all the way to zero. Negatives even. "Is that what all the gifts were about? Or is this your way of teasing me?"

Still speechless, his mouth hung slightly agape. In a daze, he couldn't form the proper words or explanation in time for your feelings to appear rational.

"I don't need your pity, Idia. Or your snide remarks. If you have nothing to say for yourself, I can-," he shrieked.

"H-hey! It's not like that!" He almost tripped trying to get out of his position in his chair.

"Then what?"

You wanted to believe it was an attempt to show you that his feelings were true, but it was so difficult to believe. He must've seen that as he considered what to say. "I just...wanted to I guess?" Seeing your confused expression closer pushed him to keep going. "Because I think you're pretty cool, you know."

Barbatos could be so attractive...

Barbatos from Obey Me could be so fucking attractive. And he is in the cards Not just him, but most of the cast. Like they all have such good designs that are accentuated in a lot of their cards

(ignore the quality)

But look at them! They're so pretty and it's so fun to admire! Then...there's their sprites in the main gameplay.

I can't take them seriously...

"Place your bets

with Overblotees"

“I bet on losing dogs”

Perceived as laying all your eggs in one basket, so to speak. Even without confidence of your chosen competitor winning, you want to believe hopelessly that they will not fail you.

Of course you’re typically well aware of their failure before the race begins. You’d hear others make remarks about how naive it is to place your bets on such a pathetic excuse of a runner, all in hushed voices.

But it’s hope, or maybe delusion that pushes you to cheer on the sidelines.

But a losing dog is only that, a loser. It will always fail you. So stop convincing yourself otherwise.

"How to care

with Riddle Rosehearts"

Sitting in his dorm room, trying to fulfill his nightly routine, regret was evident from the slight tremble in his fingertips. It typically happened at the first sign of agitation.

As he replayed all that happened in his head, he couldn't identify the cause for his unrest. The only eventful result from this day was the fact that you both had chosen to split up. But why would that bother him? He was the one who claimed he'd prefer to be alone to focus on academics.

Maybe it was your demeanor that haunted his body. How conflicted you appeared. It wasn't like you were shocked, at least you didn't show it. It was more akin to acceptance, or the struggle to accept the current circumstances.

"If that's what would be best, I won't stop you from leaving," you paused briefly before continuing again, "but I won't be here waiting for you to choose to play that role again."

A curt nod was all you received before he turned on his heels and left you on the steps leading to ramshackle.

He didn't feel much after the interaction until he got back into his dorm. More irritable and agitated, most of his dorm appeared to avoid him actively. That was fine. He'd be fine. He always was.

I highly admire writers . . .

who are able to focus on their works long enough to produce genuine stories. I always second guess the quality of my efforts, and it causes me to simply just write blurbs or drabbles. I don't dislike the way I write necessarily. I just wish I was able to form more solidified thoughts and express them properly

I may plan to write more of random thoughts on this blog, since my content is typically from my queue

Walking out the door with your bags

with Al Haitham"

You wished you'd been at work when he decided to move his stuff out. At least it would've been easier to come home to the absence of him and his possessions. It would've still been painful, but not like seeing him carry out his boxes of items you convinced him into having at your place.

Despite still paying for and legally living with Kaveh, he kept many of his "hideous" house decor in your home after his roommate banished it. Now you'll lose that hint of a smile or chuckle he gets when Kaveh complains to you about them.

"If you'd just communicate more, you wouldn't have to do all this," you mumbled. You were more than just bummed out, sitting on a dining room stool.

Just as he was about to walk out another box, he stopped. "Well, I have no intention of changing for an individual who sees nothing wrong with their own self. But it's also not my job to tell you how you should or should not be."

Archons, that stung.

"This is my final box. Goodbye, and I do hope we can be cordial for our friends' sake." You wanted nothing more than to run up, hug him from behind, and beg for him to stay. But there was no point. He had no intention of changing for you two, and you couldn't either.