Open Secret

Open Secret

Obi-Wan: [smiling expectantly with a giant bouquet tucked behind his back] Hello, Anakin! Welcome home.  Anakin: [nervously taking his bags off his ship] Uh, right, hello Master. You sure seem chipper, considering everything that’s going on.  Obi-Wan: Oh, well, you know…sometimes there are still things worth being happy about, even in these troubled times. Worth celebrating, even? [pauses, waiting for Anakin to speak] [clearing his throat] Well. So…you had a pleasant time escorting the Senator back to Naboo? Anakin: [panicked] Uh. Yeah. It was fine. Whatever. Super boring. Look, I’ve really gotta…go.  Obi-Wan: [frowning slightly] Ah. Nothing…nothing important you need to tell me? About…anything? Anakin: [scowling] No, what are you talking about? Just because I’m your Padawan, do you need to butt in to everything I do?! [shoving past him] God. 

Anakin: [nearly running into Yoda] Oh, uh, sorry Mas– Yoda: [wearing a boutonniere] Ah, Young Skywalker! Returned, you have! Much excitement there has been, about your homecoming.  Anakin: [confused] Um, OK? That’s…nice. Th-thank you, Master. I…should get back to my quarters.  Yoda: [happily] Yes, rest you must! [slyly] I suspect, many plans we soon have to make, hmmm?  Anakin: Uh, sure. Lots – lots of plans for the war. [walks away] Yoda: [perplexed] 

Mace: [standing, foreboding, at Anakin’s door] Anakin: Oh, h-hello, Master Windu.  Mace: I heard you were back.  Anakin: …yep. Mace: Is there anything I should know? Anakin: [voice cracking] I…no, Master! I don’t…why is everyone being so weird?! All I did was take the Senator back home. Now I’m here again. I just want to go to sleep.  Mace: [frowning] So you…and the Senator…don’t have any news to share with us? Anakin: [eyes widening] Wh-what?! News like…what would I even have…news with Pa– with Senator Amidala about? Like what kind of news, like news like the news on the holonet? Because I don’t see how I would have any kind of joint news with Sen-Senator Amidala, that would be weird, I’m a Jedi and she’s a Senator and that’s that, that’s the – I mean, news? News to share? Why would anyone think I have news, I don’t, I don’t even know anything about any news, anywhere, and you know what they say, no news is good news! [laughing nervously] Actually I think I’m gonna go inside my room now and, and watch the news. You should do that too, Master! Important to stay informed about the galaxy! [hurries into his room and deadbolts the door]   

[in the Council room, later]  Ki-Adi-Mundi: I don’t understand it. The records office sent that copy of the marriage license to the Temple weeks ago!  Luminara: …maybe he just needs a little more time to keep the news to himself. [frowns] I do hope nothing’s gone sour in the marriage already.   Mace: [sighing] I hate to say it, but I think we need to consider that maybe he doesn’t want us to host a reception.  Yoda: [ears drooping] Shaak Ti: Is it actually possible that Skywalker doesn’t want a big party thrown in his honor?   Obi-Wan: It seems difficult to believe. Remember that very ornate birthday party he threw for his speeder last year?  Mace: [nodding] Those canapes were amazing. Have you at least been able to find out where they’re registered, Master Kenobi? Obi-Wan: [shaking his head] I tried to ask him over lunch recently, but Anakin told me he had to “check on his laundry” and then never came back. He hasn’t spoken to me for the last 4 days and I’m pretty sure he’s been walking around the Temple wearing a wig, fake beard, and glasses in an attempt to avoid detection. [holds up a closed-circuit camera photo of Anakin looking ridiculous]

(Insp: x)

Someday I’m going to actually write out this fractured essay in my head about how important “home bases” in fiction are to me (whether that’s a literal home or an office or a secret hideout or even a vehicle in the right circumstances).  

I am very serious when I say that these places are characters to me, just as much as any of the living, breathing human (or nonhuman) characters in the story and once I get attached their loss affects me on an equally visceral level. And, in fact, a creator’s decision to destroy or abandon that “home base” can affect my interest in continuing to emotionally invest in a story just as much as when they cavalierly kill off a character for shock value. 

And someday I will figure out how to put down all my Thoughts on that.

But it is not this day, apparently. 

You know when you open your mouth and your parent comes out? I feel that happens more and more as I get older. Anyways, you think that ever happened to Vader? Like he's in his big dark castle of tasteless doom and insulting every Imperial officer that visits then boom, all of a sudden a Kenobi-ism pops out (probably with a hint of a Coruscanti accent to boot). Obi-Wan did have an awful lot of one liners, after all.

Oh gosh, I love this. Yes. I hope it happens after Obi-Wan is dead, too, so his ghost can observe this and drag Anakin for it later. “Why do I get the feeling this project is going to be the death of me?” he murmurs to himself during a Death Star Team Meeting, pinching the bridge of the nose on his helmet. The first time he haughtily chides some officer that he “needs to learn his place”, he cringes. 

I also hope it comes out when he has an Evil Ruler of some random planet that’s colluding with the Empire over (he hates when Sheev makes him host these guys GOD WHY CAN’T HE JUST BE LEFT ALONE IN HIS MISERY WITH HIS PICTURES OF CLONE WARS OBI-WAN DAMN IT.) 

He’s sitting there at his edgelord dining table trying to make small talk and be charming because Sheev INSISTED that they make nice with this guy, but like…the only material Anakin has to refer back to is from Obi-Wan negotiating with people, so he sort of ends up hitting on the guy by accident? And since it’s coming from A) Anakin B) as Vader, it’s just incredibly awkward and also terrifying. By the time he sends him off (with one of those dopey salutes that Obi-Wan always did,) he hates himself even more than he did before. 

So I've finally gotten around to reading the RotS novelization - I'm like 120 pages in and Palps has tried to get Anakin to abandon Obi Wan like FOUR TIMES and I AM LAUGHING SO HARD because Anakin is so offended?? And Sheev is trying So Hard but tbh I think if he had asked one. more. time. Anakin would've dropped him straight down that elevator shaft and continued carrying his boyfriend to safety. 😂

Sheev’s attempts to drag Anakin away from Obi-Wan is one of my most favorite things about Star Wars because a) it’s HILARIOUS and b) it says everything about their relationship right there and how important it was.Obi-Wan’s presence in Anakin’s life was such a fundamental stabilizing force that of course Palpatine had to break it apart.  He did absolutely everything he could to drive a wedge between them–sometimes successful, sometimes not. He would make little comments constantly about how, oh, I’m sure Master Kenobi cares for you, but does he really? or would put Obi-Wan in a position where he had to do his duty to go undercover to save the Chancellor and hurt Anakin doing it, or would just tell Anakin to leave his Master behind already because they had to escape this burning ship.And, even after all the shit they’ve been through, when Palpatine looks at him all wide-eyed innocence and says, “Leave him, or we’ll never make it.” Anakin makes this incredible face:

THAT IS THE FACE OF SOMEONE WHO HAS HAD AN ASS FULL OF SUGGESTING THEY LEAVE HIS BOYFRIEND BEHIND AND HE IS NOT GOING TO DO IT, TRY SUGGESTING IT ONE MORE FUCKING TIME, SHEEV, AND ANAKIN WILL LIGHTSABER YOU RIGHT IN THE FACE HE DOESN’T CARE IF YOU’RE THE CHANCELLOR OF THE GALAXY OR NOT.

imagine.... sidious reveals he's a sith and the whole scene with mace happens and instead of being an idiot he just force dyad calls obiwan. #galaxysaved

*dies* OK but like…what if Obi-Wan is literally IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT BATTLE ON UTAPAU, and Anakin is in the middle of Windu v Sidious. 

Obi-Wan: [getting shot at, riding around on Boga the giant space lizard]Anakin: [appearing in front of Obi-Wan’s face] AHHHHHHHHHHObi-Wan: [seeing behind Anakin] SITH HELLS, ANAKIN, WHAT IS HAPPENING OVER THEREAnakin: OBI-WAN, SHOULD I KILL MACE, OR THE CHANCELLOR????Obi-Wan: [almost veering off a cliff, dodging bullets] I – WHAT???!Cody: [via comm] Sir, what’s going on over there?Obi-Wan: I – [deflecting blaster bolts] Cody can you just – I’ll call you back –Anakin: [screaming] HE’S GONNA MELT THE CHANCELLOR’S FACE OFF OBI-WAN WHAT SHOULD I DO Obi-Wan: For FUCK’S SAKE ANAKIN, I – [ducks falling debris] WHY IS MASTER WINDU FIGHTING THE CHANCELLOR? [jumps over a chasm on lizardback]Anakin: OBI-WAN I DON’T HAVE TIME TO EXPLAIN WHAT SHOULD I DOObi-Wan: OH FOR THE LOVE OF – [jumps through the bond, rides into Sheev’s office]Sidious: UNLIMITED POW– WAIT WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS KENOBI DOING HERE?!Mace: FOR FORCE’S SAKE OBI-WAN HOW IN THE NAME OF – Obi-Wan: [dismounting, hair whipping in the wind from the broken window] OK EVERYONE JUST CALM DOWN FOR A MOMENTMace: HE’S THE SITH LORDSidious: HE’S A LIAR, I’M AN OLD MAN WHO LOVES DEMOCRACY Anakin: [incoherent sobbing]Obi-Wan: ANAKIN TAKE BOGA BACK TO UTAPAUAnakin: [sniffling and wiping his nose on his sleeve] But I – Obi-Wan: GO.

“Everyone’s gone. Odin’s gone. Frigga’s gone. The Warriors Three are gone. Asgard is basically gone. So Thor and Loki turn to each other and say, ‘You’re all that I have left. And actually, that’s enough.’” — Tom Hiddleston, Life As Loki Interview Special @13:45