So, Ive Been Pulled Over A Few Times In My Life. Not Many, But A Few. And Ive Also Been In A Couple Of

So, I’ve been pulled over a few times in my life. Not many, but a few. And I’ve also been in a couple of cars that got pulled over. And let me tell you, if you were actually doing something wrong, the officer doesn’t make any small talk, just straight into “I clocked you doing 70 in a 55.” The only time I’ve ever gotten the “do you know why I pulled you over?” was the time when I wasn’t doing anything wrong, and I got let go even though he insisted to the end that I was doing 87 in a 70 (white privilege at work).

“Do you know why I pulled you over?” is a trap. It means there’s a good chance the officer doesn’t actually have a good reason to ticket you, and is trying to get you to waive your 5th Amendment rights and incriminate yourself. If you make a guess, that’s a confession of guilt.

But there’s another trap, that I’ve heard of but haven’t yet experienced. It’s “do you know how fast you were going?” With that one, they’re hoping you’ll say no, because then they can name whatever speed they want – you just said you didn’t know how fast you were going, if you deny the speed they name then you’re lying to them.

Magic 8 Balls

Okay so I just had a thought, what if there were crystal ball phones and the  magic 8 ball responses of like “signs point to yes” and “ask again later” were the equivalent of answering machines and “please hold”. Like if you called the apothecary, the crystal ball would give you a “state your business” sort of thing. But just imagine:

Office Wizard:*asks to see management*                                                            Crystal Ball: Lines are crowded, please ask again later                                    Office Wizard: Goddammit, every time!

reblog this to place a small, rotund ceramic animal in the palm of the person you reblogged it from

The biggest pro of living in Massachusetts is the food, the biggest con is one day its 65 degrees, the next its snowing.

If you live in the US, reblog this with the biggest pro and the biggest con of living in your state. I'll go first! The biggest pro of living in Montana is that you can brag about getting to eat huckleberries! Yum! The con is that you live in Montana.

I have been waiting all year to post this.

After Gideon escaped prison during weirdmageddon did they put up posters saying “Small Medium at Large”?