Friday, 9th Of August / Vendredi 9 Aot 2024

Friday, 9th of August / Vendredi 9 août 2024

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Sleep: 5 am to 12 am [6-7h of sleep]

Also took a nap from 8pm to 9.30pm

Health: ate pretty healthy. But didn't move much.

Work / Focus : journaled and revised for my driving license [~3h maybe?]

Main event: Some family came over to stay with the night, there is 3 children with them, on top of my 3 small siblings.

My oldest sister ♡ also came to stay for the night. I'm happy to see her since she doesn't live with us anymore.

Detailed description:

(This part can be skipped, no need to care about my life, I'm writing this for myself)

I have some family that came over during the day, they're staying for the night (they're 5 to stay, dont even know where they'll sleep, our appartement is already small enough) and they're 3 children with them.

Then, during the evening, my older sister also comes over to stay for the night, she didn't know we had guests. So now we're sooo much in the house, children everywhere (because I already had 3 small siblings + the 3 that came), I can't focus on my work T-T

Glad we have a park right in front of our appartement, the children can go out and play.

So I work during that time, then at 8pm I start to feel drowsy so I take a nap. (Of 1h30)

When I wake up, I journal, help a bit with the chores, spend some time talking with my sister, then work again and it's already 3, so I'm sleeping late again.

We also found a solution for who will sleep where (fortunately we have 2 extra mattresses for when guests come and stay for the night)

We make the young boys sleep together on 2 mattress next to another in my brother's room, (but there's no place for my brother to sleep, so we just tell him to stay at our cousins place, he was at their house all day anyway so it's not a problem).

My dad also decides to stay at his friend's place, so just like that, the guests and the family all have a place to sleep. (But I don't have a pillow anymore, someone took it).

Feelings about today: I'm proud of the work I did.

At first I was also worried about all those children having to stay in the house, on top of my 3 siblings, but it was alright since they didn't mess too much, they just played outside or in one room and were pretty calm.

And the guests weren't burdensome, we were happy to have them over, we just needed to make some place for them to sleep.

And then, I was so so happy my sister came over. She's the only sibling older than me, she's the true oldest daughter, since she left the house I only took her role, she's the original, and she's so damn cool.

So yeah, I'm the second child and after me there are 4 more.

And I'm just realizing that my younger sisters see me the way I see my older sister (lets call her K) ; so like a model, and the incarnation of class and coolness.

Sometimes I see them copying me the way I would also copy K, and that's so so cute (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

Anyway that's it.

Wish a great day to whoever will read that <3

Bisou bisou les amis.

Friday, 16th of August / Vendredi 16 août

Those last few days I have posted nothing and it's normal.

I was just taking some time for myself, trying to disconnect from my phone and taking care of myself.

I just so happened to suddenly relapse in all of my bad habits and was not doing well mentally, but today it's alright.

I still have hope that my efforts weren't wasted by one very bad day. I will keep going and trying my best.

Let's not give up.

(I will take my time and not force myself to post, I just need a break from my phone to focus on the real life things that are important to me. Will probably update soon)

Anyway, stay well y'all. I hope that on your growth journey, you will not let yourself be beat down by one bad day or event.

Keep going, efforts build up, they are never wasted.

And let's have hope in the future.

ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

Has anyone else noticed that as a society, we’re shamed for wanting to sleep? Sleeping in is bad, naps are only okay if they’re 20 minutes, you cant be tired unless you’re a <insert career/lifestyle choice here>, so on and so forth.

I mean, I think we all need to spread our blankets out, cuddle a pillow, and go to sleep. Everyone needs more of it, fuck this “it’s not productive” nonsense. It’s okay to sleep, it’s okay to want to sleep. You’re not lazy because of it.

Saturday, 3rd of August / Samedi 3 août 2024

♡♡♡♡

I think today is going to be an alright day.

I just need to disconnect from my phone and move myself.

Less than a month left until school starts again, I want to improve myself before that and gain more happy memories and experiences.

I miss you my dear (it's been two weeks)

Thursday 8th of August / Jeudi 8 août

I will try to describe my day in a more organized manner

Work/Focus: I focused for an hour today, did some sudokus, my focus isn't that bad, and the more I do sudokus, the better I become at it.

Since at the start of summer, I tried to slowly stop my scrolling consumption, I definitely did get better, mentally, physically, cognitively.

I literally feel like I got freed of my addiction to scrolling and short-form content, like I got back my control over myself and what I do and Im definitely happier like that.

Obviously, it's not perfect but the fact that I don't have urge to scroll anymore, the fact that I gained back my clarity of mind, the fact that I can focus half an hour without needing to be distracted or needing a shot of dopamine says a lot about how I improved just by cutting back from this destructive habit.

So I'm happier and proud because I actually did improve on my worst point.

(Because of this addiction I even failed this year's exams for my degree at uni, just so you know bad it was)

Health: ate pretty healthy, (apart from the burger and fries at 11pm), also walked a lot outside before and after that, 5000 steps

Main event: Tried to work on myself by doing actual work as said previously.

Then I visited some cousins with my family, I played Minecraft, it recalled me my childhood, I want to play that game again now.

Then, with my brother and the 2 cousins my age, we got outside at night, it was 11pm and we decided some fast-food would be good.

It was a short fun trip at night (it was so fun, I now have a good memory for life).

So we go out, it's dark, 11pm, we drive to a fast-food, buy burgers and fries and enjoy the meal over some talking. It was delicious.

Then we drove a bit more around the place where they live with loud music in the car.

And when we got home it was late.

My mother was waiting for me and my brother to come back so we could go home, we had to go by foot since we didn't have a car that would fit all my family.

It was a short walk; 15 minutes at most, they don't live far from us, it's one small neighborhood away and it's pretty safe (I live in a nice place in France so it's alright)

So we go home then, my small siblings are singing random things during the whole walk.

There's literally no one else around so we can run around, race, take poses on the road to take picture. We were just enjoying.

When we finally get home, it's 1 am.