What We Know Now, After They Have Started MS

What we know now, after they have started MS

This is a short post, because life is a lot right now and i have very little emotional energy. But this felt important, so here I am.

Tonight I revisited an older post and realised I'd never completed the thought process i began there...

When Jimin released his solo album, FACE, I wrote this analysis post.

Part of that analysis talked about my impression of JK's backing vocals on Letter.

We had seen Jimin's Production Diary, and based on the clip of JK in the recording studio I thought he didn't know he would be asked to sing backing vocals.

Here's a screen grab of that post:

After watching the docuseries, BTS Monuments: Beyond The Star, we know that was correct...

It was a surprise to him when Jimin asked him.

In fact both aspects of that prediction were right, he didn't know about the song at all.

I have two questions:

Why would Jimin have kept the song a secret from JK?

And

Why wouldn't Jimin himself ask Jungkook to sing it? Why get PDogg to ask him? Jimin was RIGHT THERE.

Actually, make that three questions.

Why did Jimin scurry away as soon as JK asked to listen to the song?

Jimin earnestly said, "I made a fan song", while holding Jungkook's face in his hands.

That's such an intimate gesture, by the way. If my Best Friend held my face that way while they told me they'd done something, I'd take it to mean that the something was significant for/about me.

Jungkook asked to listen to the song, and Jimin... vanished. He retreated to the sofa to sit out of Jungkook's line of sight.

He's suddenly shy? Shy of Jungkook's reaction?? Wierd, but ok...

Unless the song is REALLY significant to JK....

In short, yes, it is REALLY significant. We already kinda guessed that right? But now, in light of their situation, it's more significant...

So, Jungkook recorded his part of the song.

Lets think about the lyrics...

Bear in mind this was written and recorded long before they had confirmation that their application for companion enlistment was successful...

These lyrics are even more significant in that context.

Plus

This is the part of the song that's in banmal. The switch from polite to familiar signals a change in the relationship, (I wrote about that in a previous post) and since Jimin always talks to ARMY politely, we can asume this part of the the song (at least) is directed at... someone else 👀

"We dont know what the future holds, don't worry I'll stay by your side."

Now consider that Jimin has written these words for not only himself to sing. He's asking Jungkook to sing them with him.

He's asking Jungkook to sing this love song with him.

With no hesitation, Jungkook says yes. He does the recording there and then.

And when JK is finished recording...

He tells Jimin that the song is really nice. Immediately, Jimin is a limpet. He's all over Junkgook like he's made of Velcro. A stark contrast to his earier behaviour when his vulnerability made him scurry away.

Jimin jokes that Junkgook should record a message for ARMY and Pdogg calls him out on that lie. Of course JK refuses. "It's your song." he tells Jimin.

Jimin is pushing his luck here, first asking JK to record a message, and then asking him to claim ownership (or share responsibility) for the song.

Jk has no trouble saying no to that.

It seems like more than a meaningless joke to me. One of those suggestions alone might be, but both? It left me wondering if Jimin suddenly felt scared that he was revealing too much with the song?

I'm kinda impressed that JK, for all his love and support, wasn't prepared to rescue Jimin from his choices. He simply, but gently, said no. It tells me a lot about their relationship.

It also tells me a lot about both JK's honestly and his belief in Jimin.

eta, I was tired and once my thought bubble popped i just hit 'post' and fell asleep. But it's exactly a year since Jimin released FACE and i think it's a pretty cool coincidence that i came back to this randomly on this day.

Happy FACE day, ARMYs. 💛💜

Park Jimin and his weaponised cuteness.

Jimin scooting away from the staff on his wheely-chair is my serotonin today

How is he this cute?

HOW? I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION!!

He refused to take the lyric sheet for Tony Montana. "There's no need," he said, before zooming out of reach with a huge grin.

I cannot love him more.

I CANNOT.

Especially in that beanie.

Original: https://x.com/eong39/status/1799155066739499273

If you weren't planning on sobbing today, i have news for you...

Love exists

A few months ago, I received an ask talking about “queer men”, stating that they’re known for casual, not-lasting relationships and that they don’t usually commit to a single partner. I don’t remember anon’s exact words, but it was so messed up and disrespectful that I decided to post just a screenshot of its first lines, to express my disgust and reply without actually disturbing people’s timelines with all that shit.

Lately I’ve tried to inform myself more and be more aware of what the members are actually going through. I wanted to distance myself from all the catastrophic, hell-like scenarios people talk about when they refer to the military life; but I also wanted to consider and reflect on that side, for what it is and isn’t, and for what we can (or at least I can) know, because being honest means admitting that’s not the best environment to be in right now. Mentally, physically, politically speaking as well. The world’s a tense nerve and I dare to say the big majority of the men in there would have chosen to stay home, living their own lives. As Jimin said, “it’s not like I want to: I have to go”.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that it has to be done, or at least I’m getting there. 4 out of 5 stages of grief. Videos of Namjoon pop up on my twitter and I watch them. I don’t know if I’m supposed to or not, but I do. And my first thought is “I miss him”, even though new music is coming and we’ve got content to enjoy of 10+ years worth and it’s not like we shared the same neighborhood anyways. But the truth is I miss the life I know he’s missing. I almost and probably hyperbolically feel like I’m the one who has to go through intense training and early alarms waiting for a free weekend to visit a museum. Because I know he would choose art if he could, instead of arms.

And the more I think about it, the more my brain’s crossed by the same thought-sequence each time: they’re serving and they’re away, they’re gonna settle and come back quickly, I hope they’re safe.

But with Jimin and Jungkook the thought sequence is different, and I catch my brain correcting itself everytime. Cause sometimes I’m eating and ask myself how Jungkook’s doing in those kitchens, and some very often times I start thinking about Jimin cutting his hair the very last day available, and realize how discreetly but honestly he showed his mixed and negative feelings about the departure. I feel the same way I do for the others, that gut thing that hurts my stomach a bit, for a few seconds. Or the resigned expression on my face making me frown.

But then I remember they’re together. And it was so unexpected for me that even now, now that we’ve known for a while, it’s not foregone. I need to remember myself it happened, it’s happenening, they chose each other, and give myself some selfish comfort.

They’re not attached at the hip, that’s a fact. They have different jobs and times, probably interact with different groups of people most of the time and I’m sure they’re facing individual struggles that the other won’t as well. They’re not on vacation.

But what warms my heart is that they’re always coming back to each other. Maybe some days are easier and they’re around each other, but some others are for sure more busy and require them to spend time in different areas of the camp. And even during those times they’re coming back to each other. At the end of the day that’s their peace.

I think we all imagine ourselves in others’ situations sometimes. I do that often, literally projecting my entire life and body and possible feelings/reactions into theirs. And with the members it happens often, even though my personality is probably similiar to a couple of them. During tours, for example, I’m always wondering “how would I feel on that big stage?”, or reading one of their tweet imagining how it feels to post something that gets instantly seen, reposted, commented by thousands and thousands of people.

And since Jin left I’m always thinking “how would I feel, how does it feel?”, because I don’t know what I’d do if I was the eldest of the group, the first one to enlist, and medias, journalists, press, public opinion and “fans” all gathered together criticizing me for not being enlisted yet, telling me to “just hurry up and go”, judging me and putting pressure on me in a way that I’ve probably never experienced before in my long, respect worthy and deserved career. I paved the way for each one of you fools and that’s what I get in return. I’d be mad and exhausted.

With Jimin and Jungkook I tried to imagine how I’d feel if I was thrown in this rough and crazy experience with bullets and everything all over my body, hair cut, number on the helmet and a fucking dog tag around my neck just in case the worst happens, and having someone I love, I know, I trust, I chose to be with, someone I’ve spent years with sharing moments and memories and tears and dreams, fights in the rain and all, by my side. Ending my day in a completely new, challenging, unfair (speaking in terms of principles, above all), uncomfortable environment, and seeing that same face I’ve seen growing changing crying and laughing since we were young dumb and broke. If you let me, that would heal me a little.

Now what I said at the beginning, about anon’s ask, concerns exactly this. I’ll never justify those words, never discuss about it, I’m not opened to conversation with that specific person whoever they are. But I have to admit that goes around a lot. Like a lot. “How can you believe two of the hottest men in Korea have been committed to each other for years?”, or also “why would they commit to each other when they could actually have anyone at anytime everywhere and whenever they want, for one night?”. And I get it, fast food-love-feelings-everything capitalistic society’s idiot, you want that dopamine now and you want it all just to let it go by the morning and crave it again at night. I see it. Lasting things are boring and who wants to be bored and sad, when you can fly high all the time.

My relaxed, white-flag, fast answer right now would just be that love exists. And I’m talking about every healthy, pure, real form of love. Loving books or loving people, loving your cat or loving your mom. It exists and it must be such a crazy chemical reaction for people to experience, because that love made Jimin and Jungkook respect and take care of each other since 2013, even when we couldn’t see it, when it was fresh, new, when it needed attentions and time and surely made them make mistakes like a kid growing up learning he can’t scream in the streets or make doodles on his house’s walls.

I’ve always seen their love as something they’ve raised together. Because it’s easy to fall in love, but loving everyday is a choice and that exact choice for them specifically was harder than it would be for someone else, not in their position. But now I see and believe it’s mature. That love which started from teasing and pushing, flirting, refusing trips or hugs but shyly hugging at night sharing the bed, is now a big boy. It will continue to grow up, it could change shape, it could last forever. As partners, as friends, as people who literally built each other’s lives adding pieces of memories to their stories. Jimin’s helping Jungkook doing his life’s puzzle and viceversa and that’s so, so, so tender. Something deep and pure keeps them tied to each other in the most healthy and committed way I’ve ever seen.

When I replied to that anon, someone in the comments (I don’t wanna bother people with any annoying notification, but the username was something like @/onthecuterside. I hope they don’t mind me mentioning), shared something so beautiful and true that it’s still stuck in my mind. “If you want endless repetition, see different people. If you want infinite variety, stay with one”. A quote from Joni Mitchell. This comment went on talking about the fact that in a long relationship, things die and are rekindled, and this shared process of “rebirth” deepens the love. It’s hard. Sometimes you feel like you can’t stand the person you love anymore and you start thinking they’re assholes. You look like an asshole to them as well. But once you go through it (I’d add when the love is worth doing so), you get closer, you learn a new way of loving each other, warmer and deeper. And that’s when you understand how much the other means to you.

I’m not under their bed neither I’d want to be. So I can’t say if they’ve already experienced this phase or not. We’ve seen periods of tension and moments that looked like break ups, but I can’t bet on it. The only thing I feel like knowing for sure is that they nurture their love every day, in such a gentle, spontaneous but attentive way, that I can’t even describe it. And it’s unique when you realize that, at one point, it doesn’t matter anymore if they’re actually dating or not, opinions about it all die screaming. It’s love, period, and they’re proof it exists.

“They’ll get tired of each other after spending 18 months together”. While my actual thought when I realized (because I didn’t realize as soon as I knew) they enlisted together was: “they’re gonna fall in love with each other again”. They’re gonna crave support and familiarity, someone with their same sense of humor, who understands them and has always done so, they’re gonna meet new good people who are doing what they have to do, just like them, but none of them could ever compare to someone you met when you were 15. They’re gonna need each other and find each other right there.

I know for sure they’re sitting next to each other before bed time, when the sun is down and that forest-like place they’re living in goes quiet, and they’re sharing with each other the new parts of themselves coming out. And that’s when they’ll get to know each other again, and disagree, and relate, and feel understood, seen, heard, and that’s when they’ll have no distractions, absolutely nothing, phone available just for a few hours, and that’s when they’re gonna fall in love again.

“They’ll get tired of each other”. Oh boy. Oh man. They chose each other for years and travelled together before enlisting together, with the companion system they chose to apply to, risking it all and knowing damn well the price they had to pay for it: being together, cool, but in one of the hardest units. And the decision was made anyways. At the end of the day this bond is such a pure celebration of love that nothing touches me anymore. It really was the last piece of the puzzle. They did it privately, quietly, they protected themselves all the time, they had nothing to prove or show to anyone.

When we found out about it, I got reminded of Jungkook’s birthday live when Jin brought him grapes. He told Jungkook: “I’m the only one visiting you, none else came”. And Jungkook nodding, laughing, not denying. But when Jin asked him who visited, name by name, Jungkook confessed Jimin and Hobi had actually been there. Man was like “if you ask me I’ll tell you, nothing to hide. Until then, I keep it low and safe”. And I’m not only talking about Jimin. Jungkook didn’t mention Hobi either. It’s just their way of being, their attitude. If people have nothing to do with who visits Jungkook on his birthday or doesn’t, why would he share that?

Because that’s how it works when you have nothing to prove and your relationships work and live beyond the public space. You protect what you gotta protect, do what you gotta do, and what comes out comes out, what doesn’t doesn’t. And of course we need to take consideration of context: Jikook earned a certain status and reputation, but they still have limits and restrictions that we don’t always see.

There are also endless times when Jimin and Jungkook spent time together and we found out months, days, even years later. And this is why I kept saying “they owe us nothing” to that anon asking how they could ever handle public eye and living together, hypothetically, in the new mansion Jungkook’s getting built.

Jimin and Jungkook enlisted together for themselves, they chose it for their own sake and safety. They knew it was gonna come out, and still, no public statements, no justification. No mention except for Jimin, rapidly, the day before leaving. But why would they? They didn’t do it for us. For you. We have nothing to do with this we’re just sticking our noses in. I’m doing it too lol.

So next time people will piss me off about their bond and love, I’ll follow Jimin and Jungkook’s rules. I do my shit, stay sane and cool, leaving the bitching outside the door. Cause at the end of the day it’s me and my baby that matter, not their moaning. At the end of the day this should have never turned into a ship proving type of thing, into a fandom war, goddamn we should’ve all celebrated it. Treat it with care. All we should be thinking about is for them to stay safe, healthy, sane, praying and hoping they’ll be back before the world fucking explodes.

And if there was a better and warmer way to go through all of this, all the fear and discomfort, and it was together, I can’t see why Jimin and Jungkook shouldn’t have chosen it. I can’t see why people can’t appreciate things worth of support, despite personal opinions or shipping sides. While you’re kicking your feet people keep loving each other and doesn’t it feel like a waste of energy to you?

I’m just so glad love exists, and I’m really willing to gradually stop caring of anything else outside and stay on my floating island cheering for it. Avoidant coping mechanisms but I swear I’ll speak up if needed. I’m just glad I can witness its pure nature between these two young men, in different ways everytime among them all, and I’m glad we’re always talking about choices here, nothing like codependency or toxicity. I’m so glad I can acknowledge this is way too special and delicate to become or be treated as everything it’s not, except for what it is.

Happy birthday Tae bear...

You whacky dishwasher, you handsome saxa-phonist, you lovely alien, you charming man.

Bangtan Sonyeondan wouldn't be the same without you.

We adore you!

사랑해!

I’ve never heard JK say that he isn’t close with his family. When has he said this?

Hey, Anon,

I casually said JK is 'not that close' to his family in my post about Bam and i asume it's the reason for this ask?

It's fair question but tbh I don't really want to get into an analysis of JK's family relationships because

a) not my business

b) we really don't know anything

c) both a and b above

It also wasn't hugely significant to my post about Bam, it's just my opinion based on a few things he's said. So I'm not going to go searching for proof one way or the other. I'm not sidestepping the question though, so off the top of my head these are some of the reasons i came to that conclusion:

Most recently, he's talked about himself as a mixture of the members of BTS, saying his personality is a combination of all 6 hyungs and he hears them in his head and sees their influence in his daily life (Suchwita interview).

He also said in a Weverse interview from 2023 that he doesn't call his parents to say he's home safe when he's been out drinking but he does it to ARMY and it feels natural to do so - and i remember thinking it was quite a statement to make.

In the welive he did just after that festa dinner he told us he had been out with his parents and had an argument with his mother. He said something along the lines of his mum was nagging him and he told her he didn't need her input. Then he felt kinda bad about it, said he was a bad (but awesome) son, and dedicated a song to her.

And I am sure he loves his family as much as anyone else, but he also left home at 13 and hasn't had a lot of time with them. He had such a tight schedule for so many years it's unlikely he had more than a few visits with them a year. Even when he did have the opportunity to go home he didn't always do so. One example we know of is in 2017 when Chuseok was a longer holiday than usual and all the members had the chance to spend a bit of time with their family... Jimin and JK chose to stay in Seoul together rather than go home.

It seems natural and logical to me that he may not be emotionally close to them because of all those factors. But even without those factors, its not unusual for many independent adults to be closer with peers than with parents.

As i said it's not a judgement against his family life at all, and it's simply my opinion and not one i am overly invested in at this point. If he does have a super tight bond with his fam, that's cool too and all power to him 🐰💪💜

I've read and reread your analysis of FACE--applying Freytag's pyramid plot structure--more times than I like to admit. And I keep coming back to this part:

Then we have the surreal, melancholy Dive, drawing us further into this dystopian world. It also uses sound effects to make us feel like we are being pulled through time. Dive is reminiscent of a soundtrack from a video, but it's been separated from its film reel, leaving the listener to guess and imagine the scenes unfolding. It feels like Jimin has come untethered from his reality.

Thanks for making Dive my new obsession. :)

I never thought Dive was just a throwaway addition to add time--like some have suggested--but that it is part of the trajectory of the story. And I love how--just like with every other part of FACE--it is open to interpretation. Is he running towards or away from something? Is he showing how happy he is on stage or how he pulls himself together to be the Jimin everyone expects? Is that the sound of drinking water or something else?

Yes, I like to overthink these things. Sue me.

But your eloquent description here really struck a cord--being pulled through time...untethered from his reality. Coupled with the other-worldly chord sounds, I suddenly thought of The Aquarium by the composer Saint-Saëns. Do you know the one I mean? It gives me that feeling of looking through glass at a secretive world, where everything is mysterious and unsettling.

Anyway, you've given me a new appreciation for Dive, and solidified why it is not only important in recounting Jimin's journey, but perfectly placed on the timeline.

Thank you.

Hey Isaidnothankyou, thanks for your message! One of the aspects of FACE that keeps bringing me back to the album is the narrative.

Like you, I am captured by the role that Dive plays on its own and as part of the album. It tells such a succinct story, it could be an audition piece by a Foley artist.

But knowing that Jimin is behind it, and knowing what an intensely private person he is (like only comparatively recently did we discover he has actual walls and a ceiling in his apartment haha), i am literally stunned into silence at how intimate and revealing this piece is. I love that it has become a favourite for you too, because it is worthy of so much attention 💛